第三章现代汉语段落英译

第三章现代汉语段落英译第三章现代汉语段落英译

目录

目录 : 第一节统一性与连贯性统一性与连贯性第二节文体风格文体风格第三节可行性翻译可行性翻译第四节意义层次的调整与重组意义层次的调整与重组

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程永生著程永生著

现代汉语段落英译中值得探讨的问题很多，粗略地说，有两个方面的问题值得认真思考：理解与表达。一般认为，中国学生理解汉语原文不应该有什么问题。从总体上说，也的确如此。但也应该看到，有些汉语原文，看上去似乎很简单，细玩却耐人寻味。有时也可能遇到有的汉语原文行文不怎么规范，前后时有意义重复，意义层次不够清晰。遇到这种情况，如果不加分析地严格按照原文亦步亦趋地去翻译，将原文不规范、又重复、不清晰的表达形式带到译文中去，读者看到，很可能认为是翻译的问题。如果是这样，译者就要替人受过。从更深的层次看，理解汉语原文，要理解原文所涉及的语境，理解原文所涉及的历史文化和民俗文化，理解作者的意图。因为原文的字面意义要结合语境、结合历史文化和民俗文化、结合作者的意图来理解。否则就难以为译，即使译出来了，也只能算是“叛逆”。



从表达的角度看，翻译在很大程度上类似于写作，应该遵从英语的遣词、造句、构段、谋篇的规范，突破规范一般只是局部范围内的事。必须注意，英语遣词、造句、构段、谋篇时首先应考虑文章的统一性(unity) 与连贯性 (coherence) ，要考虑使用恰当的衔接手段 (cohesive device) ，使文章语意连贯，主题鲜明，如有断裂，应及时修补；其次要考虑文体，要考虑遣词、造句、构段、谋篇的正式程度。另外，译文的读者对象与原文的读者对象不同，写作有一个为什么人的问题，翻译也有一个为什么人的问题，读者因素是翻译表达中的重要因素。还有，一个汉语段落往往有多种翻译方法，有时还要对原文的意义层次进行适当的调整甚至重组，否则，虽然翻译出来了，读起来总感到不顺。



我们认为，这些问题如果解决好了，对汉语段落英译会有所裨益。这些问题，我们的先人早就探讨过了，正如他们所说的，翻译既要对作者负责，也要对读者负责，他们的论述与国外现在流行的翻译文化理论、翻译功能理论、翻译目的理论非常合拍，与国内流行的翻译主体性研究也有许多相通之处。关于这些理论问题，这里不展开一一介绍。但我们希望本书的读者注意，译者其实是翻译的主人，不是翻译的奴隶。因为在翻译过程中，作者是译者通过文本所理解的作者，读者是译者通过自身的体验所理解的读者。译者对他们如何理解，就会如何翻译。本章主要讨论四个实践性较强的翻译问题：现代汉语段落英译中的统一性与连贯性、现代汉语段落英译中的文体问题、现代汉语段落英译中的可行性翻译和现代汉语段落英译时对原文意义的调整与重组。至于翻译过程中的理解与表达及其他一些问题，将会放到有关例子中适当予以阐述。上述四个问题，既是实践问题，也带有理论成分。下面将分别就上述四个问题进行讨论。



第一节统一性与连贯性第一节统一性与连贯性现代汉语段落翻译建立在现代汉语词语翻译和句子翻译的基础之上，因为段落是由句子组成的，句子是由词语组成的，词语与词语之间既有意义联系，也有语法联系，句子与句子之间既有意义联系，也有语法联系，意义联系与语法联系总是并行不悖的，相互匹配的。问题在于，汉语有汉语的意义语法联系系统，英语有英语的意义语法联系系统，这两个系统既有共同点，也存在许多差异。简略地说，英汉两种语言的主要差异在于，汉语更多地依靠意义联系，英语则更多地依靠语法联系。用专业术语来说就是，英语较多地依靠结构衔接手段 (coherent device) ，包括句法上的和修辞上的，使段落具有连贯性和统一性，汉语较多地依靠词语衔接手段，使段落具有连贯性和统一性。为说明问题，下面我们对统一性、连贯性和衔接手段作一点简要的介绍。



统一性主要是针对语篇的主题而言的。一个语篇单位，无论是一个句子、一个自然段、一个大段还是一个完整的语篇，一般只谈论一个问题或者只叙说一个事件。如果谈论两个或更多的问题，叙说两个或更多的事件，必然有主有从，否则语篇的主题就不会鲜明突出了。例如例 3.1.3看上去有点零乱，实际上主要谈一个问题，即人们往往认为很危险的东西其实并不比人们认为不危险的东西更加危险。或者说，人们认为不危险的东西往往也是很危险的，人们认为很危险的东西往往并不那么危险。这一段所用的一切材料都与这个主题相关，确切地说，许多材料都是用以说明这个主题的例子。从这个意义上说，我们可以将统一性理解为相对于语篇主题的相关性。使语篇的一切材料都具有很好的主题相关性，首先取决于选材，其次取决于结构安排，再次取决于衔接手段的使用。



连贯性主要关注语篇的结构安排，如何将语篇的各个意义层次有条理地组织起来，或者说如何安排语篇的意义层次以展开语篇的主题，质言之，就是为了恰当地表达语篇的主题而为语篇选用合适的结构。选择得好，使人读起来有如行云流水，或者使人感到跌宕起伏。但无论如何跌宕起伏，最终都是水流千里归大海，归到主题。否则就会使人感到东一榔头西一棒子，不象一个有条有理的语篇。必须承认，连贯是实现语篇统一性的主要手段，但不是唯一的手段。后面我们将看到，衔接也是实现语篇连贯性的一个手段。



语篇的结构与语篇的体裁有关。一般说来，叙事文往往以事件的发展为脉络，而说明文或议论文通常用演绎或归纳的办法来安排结构。叙事文一般由突发事件 (precipitation) 、继发事件 (consequence) 、高潮 (climax) 与结尾 (conclusion) 构成。以婚恋为例。两个素不相识的或者虽然相识并无恋情的青年男女相邂逅，萌发了好感，这次邂逅可以看成是他们婚恋的起点或突发事件，这个事件的英文名称为 dating 。由于有了好感，彼此交往下去，终于相爱了。他们的爱情继续发展，于是决定订婚。这个阶段可分为两个事件，它们的英文名称分别是 falling in love 和 engagement 。从这两个阶段发展下去，最后终于结婚，当举行婚礼 (wedding ceremony) 时就达到了高潮，至此，他们的婚恋就告一段落 (conclusion) 。当然，每个大的事件都是由若干个小事件构成的。比如说，这对男女是如何邂逅的，有一个过程，这个过程就是由一系列小事件构成的。每个小事件也可分为突发、继发、高潮与结尾。



议论文与说明文往往以从一般到个别（ from general to specific ）的方式展开，或者说以 deductive development或演绎方式展开；或者相反，以从个别到一般（ from specific to general ）即以 inductive development或归纳方式展开。具体地说就是，一个典型的演绎式的大段往往由主题陈述 (thesis statement)开始，衬托段落 (supporting paragraphs) 居中，总结(conclusion) 段落或文字收尾。一个典型的演绎式的自然段往往由主题句 (topic sentence) 开始，衬托句(supporting sentences) 居中，总结 (conclusion) 句收尾。一个典型的归纳式的大段往往由衬托段开始，主题陈述断后。一个典型的归纳式的自然段则往往由衬托句开始，主题句断后。当然演绎与归纳方式往往会交错使用。



另外，叙事文多以自然时间顺序或空间顺序展开，议论文与说明文多以逻辑顺序展开，即从次要的到重要的亦或相反。当然，以上说的是一般规律，也就是说，这些规律都有例外。因此，结构断裂、跌宕起伏、迂回曲折的事时有发生。这时尤其需要恰当地运用衔接手段。



如前所述，结构的选用并不是连贯的全部，只是连贯的宏观手段，连贯的微观手段是衔接，包括语篇层面上的前后照应和句子与句子之间的接榫甚至句子内部的接榫。



衔接手段主要是指语言的词语层面、意义层面、语法层面和结构层面上的一些前后呼应的手段，在诗歌甚至某些散文作品中，也包括音韵手段如音步、节奏、押韵等。词语层面上的衔接有重复、同义词（包括反义词、上下位词和部分整体词）和词语搭配等；语法层面上的有参照、省略与替代和连接等；结构层面上的除上面所说的语篇性结构外，通常使用的手段还有平行句式（包括对偶）、特殊句型等。这些衔接手段都与语言的意义有关。这些衔接手段的使用，不但使语篇有如行云流水，而且也能使因采用了非正常结构因而使连贯性受损的语篇得到补偿，使补偿后的各个成分彼此呼应。例如：



3.1.1 In consequence of an argument between the sisters, Elizabeth wrote the next morning to her mother, to beg that the carriage might be sent for them in the course of the day. But Mrs Bennet, who had calculated on her daughters remaining at Netherfield till the following Tuesday, which would exactly finish Jane’s week, could not bring herself to receive them with pleasure before. Her answer, therefore, was not propitious, at least not to Elizabeth’s wishes, for she was impatient to get home. (Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, Ch.12)



这一段文字中使用了许多衔接手段，如 the sisters 、 her daughters 和本段中出现的两个人名 Elizabeth 与 Jane 相衔接， her mother 中的 her 与 Elizabeth相衔接， for them 中的 them一方面与 the sisters 另一方面与本段中的两个人名 Elizabeth 和Jane相衔接，第二句中的 but 、第三句中的 therefore 和第四句中的 for 的使用，使有关句子在意义上与前后相衔接等。另外，第二句的主语 Mrs Bennet 与谓语 could not bring herself to receive them with pleasure before之间由于插入了两个定语从句被人为地分割开来。但由于使用了衔接手段如从属连接词 who 与 which和词语衔接手段如 Mrs Bennet 与 herself 、 them 与 Elizabeth 和Jane ，因而得到了一定程度的补偿，维护了意义上的相互连贯。而两个从句的使用，不但将从句所表达的意义置于从属地位，而且使该句所表达的三个意义层次分明。换言之，作者用结构上的从属手段实现了这一语篇片段的连贯性和统一性。



3.1.2 It was not declared on the part of the United States until it had been long made on them, in reality though not in name; until arguments and expostulations had been exhausted; until positive declaration had been received that the wrongs provoking it would not be discontinued; nor until this last appeal could no longer be delayed without breaking down the spirit of the nation, destroying all confidence in itself and in its political institutions, and either perpetuating a state of disgraceful suffering or regaining by more costly sacrifice and more severe struggle our lost rank and respect among independent powers.(James Madison, The War in 1812)



本段开头的一个单词 it指 1812年 6月 18日美国对英国宣战的那场战争。这段文字使用了如下一些衔接手段。 1）省略：在第二和第三个 until 前省略了 it was not declared on the part of the United States ；在第四个 until 前省略了 was it declared on the part of the United States ；在 destroying 、 perpetuating 和 regaining之前省略了 without等； 2）平行结构：四个 until… 结构互相平行， breaking down… 、 destroying all confidence… 、 perpetuating a state… 和 regaining by more…等四个动名词结构互相平行，后两个动名词结构用 either…or…相连接，使四个动名词结构同中有变； 3 ）句型： it was not…, nor was it…; …not… until…; …not (no)… without…; either…or…等； 4) 词语搭配：declared the war (it)等； 5）重复：重复 it(it was not declared on the part of the United States until it had been long made on them…)等 ; 6）参照：them 指代 the United Sates; all confidence in itself 中的 itself 和 its political institutions 中的 its 指代 the nation 等； 7 ）同义词语： the United States 与 the nation 同义； declaration of the war ( it was not declared) 与 the last appeal等同义 8 ） nor until… 前面的动词都是被动的， without 后面的动名词都是主动的等。



由于这些衔接手段的使用，不但使该段意义连贯而且层次分明。通过分析，我们看到，这一段引文有两层意义： 1）美国被迫对英国宣战了； 2）美国如果不宣战，将会遭受巨大损失。将两层意义汇聚到一起就是，作者意在申述宣战的理由。体现在具体的语言运用上有如下一些特点：作者的总体意图是用仅含一个句子的自然段表达的；两层意义是用 it was declared until… nor （ was it declared ） until… 的句式中的两个层次表达的；美国被迫宣战有四大理由，用四个平行句式即 it was not declared until… 表达的，这四个句子在语篇中出现时，有三个有省略；四个方面的损失用四个平行的动名词短语表达的，平行中有变化；宣战是被迫的，用被动语态表达的；损失是主动的，用主动语态表达的，等等。



我们将汉语段落译成英语时，不但要注意分析原文的统一性、连贯性与衔接手段，更为重要的是，要注意英汉两种语言在表达上的差异，要通过使用合适的语篇结构和衔接手段使译文具有同一性和连贯性。下面，我们将通过几个例子予以简要说明。



3.1.3 生活中充满了危险，但我们并不一定把这些危险都想得很清楚。当我们第一次登上飞机的时候，我们害怕它掉下来，尽管人家向我们保证飞机是有史以来最安全的旅行工具。然而当我们坐上汽车的时候，我们往往并不担心，虽然汽车比飞机要危险得多。在一定程度上，这是很自然的，我们往往惧怕陌生的东西。为了查清我们在各种各样情况下会遇到多少危险并帮助我们做出明智的决定，一门被称为风险估测的新的科学已经形成。它的目的当然是将风险减少到最低限度。举例说，风险估测已经运用到能源使用的研究上。乍一想，原子能会构成巨大的危险，因为万一发生意外，谁也逃避不了它的放射线。然而，几乎所有的能源使用形式都不可避免地带有危险。燃烧矿物燃料会产生大量的有毒气体，而这一点却常常被忽略了。仔细研究之后，你就可能不肯让燃煤电厂建在你家附近，就像不可能让核反应堆建在你家附近一样。



这段文字主要说明生活中充满了危险，但我们并不一定把这些危险都想得很清楚这个主题，这个句子实际上是本段的主题句。为了说明这个主题，作者举了日常生活中坐飞机与坐汽车旅行的例子，然后得出结论说，我们往往惧怕陌生的东西，不了解我们熟悉的东西的危险性。后面的文字进而告诉我们，对危险不能仅凭直觉去认识，要科学地认识，并举燃煤发电厂和核反应堆的例子予以说明。这些手段的使用，有力地从主题的角度保证了文章的统一性。



本段的结构是，以主题句开头，用例证予以衬托。过渡到阐述对风险要做出明智的决定这个主题时，再次以例证衬托。本段虽出现两个主题，但层层推进，从意识危险推进到要科学地预测危险，因而主次分明。为使文意连贯，作者使用了大量的衔接手段，典型的如反复使用危险、风险等词，关于交通工具的词汇、关于能源利用方面的词汇，都与危险、风险等词语紧密相关。两个层次有机地连在一起，逐步推进。现根据上面的分析，试译如下：



3.1.4 Life is full of danger. However, we are not aware of its potential dangers. When we get on board a plane, we are afraid that the plane might drop, although they assure us that the plane has been the safest transportation in history. However, when we get in a car or a passenger bus, we are not afraid although the car or passenger bus is more dangerous than the plane. To some extent, this is natural, for we are often afraid of what we are not familiar with. In order to investigate how many dangers we may encounter under various circumstances and help us to make sensible decisions, a new science called risk estimation has come into being. It of course aims at reducing risks to minimum. For example, risk estimation has been applied to energy utilization research.



On a sudden thought, utilization of atomic energy may involve enormous potential risks, because if an unexpected accident should occur, no one could be spared of its radiation rays. However, almost any form of energy utilization may be inevitably accompanied by risks. Burning of fossil fuel will produce a large quantity of toxic gas. But this danger often does not attract our attention. Through careful inquiry, you may not let a coal burning power station to be built near your home the same way you may not like a nuclear reactor to be built in your neighborhood.



为准确翻译出原文的统一性、连贯性，译文根据英语的行文特点，使用了许多衔接手段，遍及结构、语法和词语等各个层面。例如使用了两个 however ，大量地使用从句，重复了主题词和与主题相关的词语，使用了同义词、近义词、代词等，使句内与句间的各个成分在语义和语法两个层面上互相呼应。但总体上说，这是一个紧扣原文的译文，甚至到了亦步亦趋的地步。在后面讨论可行性翻译的时候，我们将会看到，还可以进一步发挥译文的语言优势来翻译这段文字，通过合理地安排结构、合理地使用衔接手段，使译文具有有别于原文的连贯性和统一性。



3.1.5 时下，在北京的图书馆、博物馆甚至书店里，经常有一些大大小小不同类型的文化讲座。这些讲座，小而言之，只是一次次知识的宣讲，大而言之，则是先进文化的传播。在这方面，中国现代文学馆组织的周末义务讲座无疑是开风气之先、具有示范作用的。这里，一时间竟出现了作家学者主动报名讲演，听者以能占有一席之地为荣的局面。可以相信，当越来越多的人自觉进入求学殿堂之时，就是我国国民素质快速提升之日。



这段文字报道了中国现代文学馆组织的周末义务讲座及其意义。这些讲座是在图书馆、博物馆和书店里举办的各种文化讲座的一种。本段的主题词有讲座、文化和图书馆、博物馆、书店、文学馆等，在阐述这些讲座的意义时，作者使用了小而言之、大而言之和可以相信等信号词语，使叙述层次分明；在泛泛介绍之后，将中国现代文学馆组织的周末义务讲座作为典型事例予以介绍，使报道有点有面。这些手段的使用，使语篇主题突出、文意连贯、接榫严密。现根据上面的分析，试译如下：



3.1.6 At present, in libraries, museums or even bookstores in Beijing, there are often culture lectures on different scales and of varied sizes. These lectures, in practical terms, are repeated knowledge impartations. In theoretical terms, they are cases of advanced culture propagations. Of the lectures, the weekend free lecture series organized by China Modern Literary Museum are of pioneering and modeling significance. Here, many writers and scholars volunteer to be entered for opportunities to give lectures while the audience is honored when given a seat. We are convinced that when more and more people are willing to be enrolled on such educational programs, the quality of our citizens will be greatly enhanced.



译文考虑了原文在连贯与衔接上的特点，基本上译出了原文点面结合、层次分明的结构，同时根据英语的行文习惯，适当地增加了衔接手段，如适当地使用从句，重复主题词，使用lecture 和 audience 这样经常一起出现的词语，使用了反义词 practical 和 theoretical ，构成了意义相反的两个介词短语 in practical terms 和in theoretical terms ，使该段不但各句子成分之间而且各句之间相互衔接，彼此呼应。但总体上说，译文紧扣原文，是常规翻译。



3.1.7 2003年是贯彻落实十六大精神的第一年，做好今年的招生工作，开好头，起好步，具有重要意义。2003年高校招生工作的任务和要求是：在党的十六大精神指引下，艰苦奋斗、扎实工作，完成高等教育招生规模计划 335万（其中本科 173万）；继续深化高考改革，为建立更加完善的高校招生制度迈出新的步伐；周密细致地做好高考前一个月的各项工作；依法治招，切实加强管理，确保高考招生公平公正。



本段谈论 2003年的高等学校的招生工作，具体分为做好今年招生工作的重要意义、今年招生工作的总体计划、做好今年招生工作的具体措施（完善招生制度、做好高考前一个月的各项准备工作），并提出了加强管理、依法治招的要求。简略地说就是一个意义、一项任务，三条要求，以要求作保障来完成任务，进而实现意义。文章主题突出、语意连贯、衔接合适，但有一处文意略有重复。现根据上面的分析，试译如下：



3.1.8 The year of 2003 is the first year for carrying out the spirits of the Party’s 16th National Congress. Therefore, fulfilling the enrolment task for this year, by starting the work well and stepping forward steadily, is of great significance. Specifically speaking, the task for 2003 is: under the guidance of the spirits of the Party’s 16th National Congress, to fight against hardships and work wholeheartedly to fulfill the plan of enrolling



3.35 million students into institutions of higher learning, including 1.73 million of four- or five-year students. To fulfill the task, it is necessary to continue to deepen the reform of college entrance examination and turn a new leaf for the establishment of a more satisfactory college student enrollment system. More specifically, it is necessary to do various kinds of work carefully a month before the college entrance examination, conduct the enrollment work in accordance with the law, reinforce management and ensure that college entrance examination and enrollment will be executed fairly and justly.



在充分考虑原文在统一性、连贯性和衔接方面的特点的同时，译文根据英语的行文特点适当地选用了句式和词语，将该段译成五个意义层次： 1）重要意义； 2）总体任务；3）具体任务； 4）总体要求； 5）具体要求。在阐述重大意义的两个句子之间增加了 therefore ，在总体任务与具体任务之间使用了 specifically speaking ，在具体任务与要求之间使用了 to fulfill the task ，在总体要求和具体要求之间插入了 more specifically 。另外，还重复了主题词，使用了从属结构和插入成分。例如，第二句翻译三件具有重要意义的工作时，两件用介词短语表达，用语法手段分出了这些工作在意义上的主次。这些手段的使用，不但确保了原文的连贯与统一，还在一定程度上增强了译文的连贯与统一，使译文的意义层次较原文更加清晰。



3.1.9 有医不好的病，没有焐不热的心。钟健东常对卫生所的卫生员说：“连队官兵来看病，一张亲切的笑脸和一声温馨的问候，有时比名贵的药物还重要。”对患病时间长的战士，他更加关怀，把这些战士的名字、单位记下来，经常联系，了解他们的康复情况。



本段有三层意义。首先，作者提出了有医不好的病，没有焐不热的心这样一个主题。为说明这个主题，作者既引用了钟健东的话，又描述了他在这方面的具体行动，符合言行一致的原则。作者虽然没有使用什么连接词语，但对熟知中国文化的读者来说，这些意义及其排列顺序都是熟悉的，都是不难把握的。现根据上面的分析，试译如下：



3.1.10 While a disease may be incurable, a heart can never be unwarmable. With this belief, Zhong Jiandong often says to medical workers of the clinic: “To an officer or soldier who comes to see the doctor, a smiling face and a tender greeting may be sometimes more effective than precious medicines.” He does as he says by noting down the name and the military unit of the soldier with an illness for a long time in order to contact him frequently and obtain information about his recovering process.



很明显，我们虽然基本上是按照原文意义层次和顺序翻译的，但为了译文连贯，用 while连接了第一层意义中的两个子层次，在第一层意义与第二层意义之间增加了 with this belief ，在第二层意义和第三层意义之间增加了 he does as he says ，隐晦地表达了原文中言行一致的隐含意义。另外，翻译时也注意了三个句子自身的内部衔接。这样翻译，既照顾了英语的行文习惯，也增强了译文的统一性与连贯性。



3.1.11 从今年起，辽宁省将定期向社会公布高校毕业生就业率，并把就业率作为评价学校教育质量和考核高校领导班子政绩的重要标准之一。面对普通高校毕业生就业的严峻形势，辽宁省教育厅、省发展计划委员会把促进今年毕业的大学生实现就业和创业作为一项十分重要的工作，采取多项改革措施，及时调整和出台就业政策，全力以赴地抓好落实。



文章报道了面对由于高校扩招引起的毕业生就业难的问题，辽宁省所采取的一项推动高校毕业生就业的措施，就是向社会公布毕业生就业率，将就业率作为一项指标，用于考核高校领导班子。先报道辽宁省的两项措施，后阐述教育厅和发展计划委员会的其他措施。熟悉中国文化的人一看就知道，实际上都是辽宁省的措施，这些措施都是一脉相承的。由于这个缘故，这段文字主题突出、语意连贯、衔接合适，虽然前后略有重复。现根据上面的分析，试译如下：



3.1.12 From this year on, Liaoning Province will periodically publicize to society the employment rate of college graduates. Furthermore, the province will regard the graduate employment rate as one of important criteria for evaluation of educational quality of institutions of higher learning and for assessment of the achievements of the leading bodies of the institutions concerned. In addition, in face of the serious employment situation for college graduates, Educational Department, and Development and Planning Committee, of Liaoning Province will regard promotion of graduate employment and starting business by graduates as a very important task. They will take many reform measures, timely readjust and put forward graduate employment policies, with endeavors made to implement the measures and policies to the full.



译文将原文的第一句译成两句，两句之间增加了 furthermore ；两个大的意义层次之间增加了 in addition ；适当地使用了替代、重复和其他一些衔接手段。由于使用了这些措施，加上译文的意义层次安排一如原文，使译文在主题突出、意义连贯、衔接恰当上较原文有所加强。



以上五例的汉语原文，第一例的是在《大学英语》第五册上的一个翻译练习的基础上加工改造的，其他例子都摘自《光明日报》等报纸，具体的报纸名称、日期和版面，如前所述，现已难以确定，特表歉意。



练习（见练习册相应部分）练习（见练习册相应部分）

第二节文体风格第二节文体风格



文体是个非常复杂的问题，前面已经部分提到，这里再略加阐述。程永生（ 2001）一方面主张区分文体与体裁、语体与风格，另一方面主张区分文学文体和非文学文体，主张对文学文体和非文学文体做进一步划分。但通常人们只大略地探讨文体风格。翻译涉及的文体风格，主要是原文的文体风格和译文的文体风格以及是否要再现原文的文体风格与如何再现原文的文体风格等问题，有时也有论及作者风格和译者风格的，用这两个风格代替原文风格和译文风格。这些都是些棘手问题，是人言人殊的问题。



文体风格体现作者的意图与作者表达意图所作的刻意追求，因此人们常说文如其人或者说style is the man 。因此，许多人虽然一方面认为，译文必须忠实地再现原文的文体风格，同时又感到，翻译文学作品，尤其是翻译伟大作家的文学作品，同时代的本国人刻意模仿都难以模仿到他们的文体风格。例如，许多中国人都难以模仿“韩潮苏海”，岂能指望一个外国人以外文来模仿韩潮苏海？如果加上历时因素，问题就更大了。人们看到，如果朝这种思路探讨下去，要求译文忠实于或再现原文的文体风格，就不可能有翻译了。



事实上，伟大作家的伟大作品不但有人翻译，有许多人翻译，而且人译人殊。例如，我们后面将要看到，《红楼梦》有人翻译了，《三国演义》、《西游记》、《水浒传》有人翻译了，唐诗宋词也都有人翻译了。如果说《红楼梦》的译者们已经将《红楼梦》的文体风格翻译出来了，恐怕绝大多数人都不会同意。因为《红楼梦》一书不但内容丰富，而且有着非常独特的风格。首先，《红楼梦》是一本中国历史与中国文化的百科全书，既有丰富的天文地理、风土民情、医药卫生、园林艺术，还有极丰富的文学艺术、语言艺术。《红楼梦》中的诗词歌赋、骈俪、散文及其它体裁的作品一应俱全，这些都是体现《红楼梦》文体风格的一个组成部分。



《红楼梦》的文体风格涉及如此辽阔的知识领域，对任何译者都是严峻的挑战。第二，《红楼梦》以中国古代历史和清朝历史为基础，以曹氏家族的兴衰为素材。关于《红楼梦》和曹氏家史的关系，目前的研究虽然取得了丰硕成果，但许多问题仍在探讨与研究之中，有些问题恐怕永远无法研究清楚。而真正读懂《红楼梦》是需要真正了解曹氏家族史的。但曹氏家史与《红楼梦》故事的关系是该书文体风格的一部分。



从这个意义上说，《红楼梦》的一部分文体风格还在认识之中，《红楼梦》的文体风格中还含有无法认识的成分，因此，翻译出《红楼梦》的文体风格对任何译者都十分棘手。第三，《红楼梦》的版本很多，大致分脂评系列和程高系列，仅脂砚斋评本，据不完全统计达十二种之多。另外，自《红楼梦》问世以来，评点、圈点和批评《红楼梦》的大有人在，这些研究者和他们的著作形成了红学中的评点学派。另外，还有索隐学派、考据学派和现代研究学派，这些学者和他们的研究成果汇成了红学。一本书的研究居然被称为某学，可见该书具有多么巨大的挑战性。而这些研究都与《红楼梦》的风格有关。研究还在继续，还将继续下去，将《红楼梦》的文体风格翻译出来，谈何容易？



第四，一般认为，《红楼梦》前八十回为曹雪芹所著后四十回为高鹗所续，前后风格迥异。二者的风格差异在何处？红学界仍在探讨。此时谈论翻译文体风格对译者也是一大挑战。还有人认为，《红楼梦》为曹雪芹的父亲曹頫所著，曹雪芹所作的是编辑工作，高鹗和程伟元所作的只是搜集整理工作，因此前后风格是一致的。



笔者无意在这里全面评论《红楼梦》及其文体风格，无意全面评论英译《红楼梦》的文体风格及其与原文的文体风格的差异，只想指出，综合上述种种情况，可以认为，作者有作者的文体风格，作品有作品的文体风格。同样，译者有译者的文体风格，译品有译品的文体风格。虽然后两者的文体风格与前两者不无联系，但应该看到，它们之间也存在着巨大的差异。另外，作品的文体风格主要是针对读者而言的，翻译原作的文体风格主要是针对那些既懂原文又懂译文的读者而言的；是否译出了原作的文体风格主要是针对研究和评论译品的人而言的；译作的文体风格，既是针对既懂原文又懂译文的读者而言的，也是针对不懂原文仅懂译文的读者而言的。



现代翻译研究越来越清楚地表明，翻译在很大程度上是译者的事，译者在翻译过程中会有意无意地、顽强地表现自己的文体风格，译者的文体风格无法否认。因此，我们认为，无论译者如何打算通过努力忠实地再现原文的风格，结果总会是原文有原文的文体风格，译文有译文的文体风格，作者有作者的文体风格，译者有译者的文体风格。译者的文体风格，不但体现于他所译的某个作品，也体现于他所译的全部作品，是动态的，发展的，不是一成不变的。另外，由于原作的体裁不同，译者的文体风格也会发生变化。下面我们将就具体的翻译实例对原文的文体风格做一点说明，对译文与笔者试译的文体风格做一点粗略的分析。



3.2.1 读完中学已经很不容易了， 50岁的雷运娇为什么还要考大学呢？她说：“我想当个作家。”这几年，她先后收到 3000 多封来信，与 4000 多个孩子谈心，发现很多孩子都抱怨父母不理解他们，埋怨父母不合格。一边是父母盼儿女成才的沉甸甸的关爱，一边却是孩子们对这份爱的排斥和抗拒。为了孩子们的明天，为了教育更多的人，她想把她这些年来在德育工作中积累的一些经验和方法写成一本书，为更多的家长和老师出点主意。



这是一篇报道雷运娇为什么上大学的文章的一段。文章劈头提出，雷运娇不无困难地读完了中学，现在已经 50岁了，为什么还要读大学呢？作者对这个问题从两个方面进行了回答。答案之一是她个人说的一句话，一句十分突兀的话。答案之二用列举事例的方式，既回答了问题，又对她的突兀地回答进行了解释。原来，她所说的想当作家，并不是想当人们常说的那种作家，而是想把她自己在德育工作中积累的经验写成一本书，用以教育孩子，为从事教育工作的同志出点主意。这样做的原因是，孩子和父母之间存在矛盾。文章在文体风格上有两个特点：一、文章一开头就提出了一个令普通人难以理解的问题，这个问题的提出目的在于吸引读者去追寻答案，起到了突出(foregrounding) 的功效，使情节跌宕起伏；第二、文章的遣词造句比较正式，运句偏长。现根据原文的主要文体风格特点，试译如下：



3.2.2 It is not easy for the 50-year old Lei Yunjiao to complete her high school education. Why should she have her name registered for college entrance examination? “I want to be a writer,” she said. In recent years, she has received more than 3000 letters and chatted with more than 4000 children to find that many children are complaining that their parents are not qualified and do not understand them. On one hand, parents love their children dearly, expecting them to be talents. On the other, children are repellent and resistant to the love. For the future of children, for education of more, she is thinking of writing a book about experiences and approaches she has accumulated in the years of her moral education work for the benefit of more parents and teachers.



译文保留了作者的提问和雷运娇的答案，行文也比较正式，从这个意义上可以说，译文保留了原文文体风格上的某些主要特点。另外，翻译雷运娇的答案时不用 I would like to become a writer ，而用 I want to be a writer ，仅用了 5 个常用词，简洁明快，接近口语，保留了原文的突兀气势，旨在临摹一个心直口快的女性形象。但译文行文时基本上遵从了英语的行文习惯，运句时长短相间，富于变化，虽然是英语的行文规范使然，也部分地改变了原文的语势。原文中孩子们抱怨父母不理解、不合格，译文变成了抱怨父母不合格、不理解；译文对原文中最后一句话的叙述顺序也进行了部分调整；译文还使用从属成分翻译原文中的并列内容，将原文中的并列意义做了主次之分。这些虽然都是细节，但部分地改变了原文的文体风格，也使译文在一定程度上有了自己的文体风格。



3.2.3 教育部部长周济今天透露，为全面提高我国高等教育人才培养质量，教育部启动了“高等学校教育质量与教育改革工程”。这项被称为“质量工程”的举措，是教育部正在制定的《 2003-2007年的教育振兴行动计划》中的重要内容。教育部有关负责人表示，在目前我国在校大学生数量不断增加、高等教育投入不足的情况下，通过“质量工程”的实施，确保教育质量的稳步提高。



这也是一篇报道，报道的内容涉及到教育部的“质量工程”和“教育振兴行动计划”，遣词造句比较正式，运句较长。这段文字有如下一些特点： 1）使用了某某人透露、某某人表示之类的常见于报刊的词语； 2）使用了为……、在……情况下、通过……等常见于报端的句式； 3）文章的内容安排顺序是，质量工程在前，行动计划居中，所针对的问题断后。现根据原文的主要文体特点，试译如下：



3.2.4 According to the news briefed by Zhou Ji, Minister of Education, in order to enhance in an all-round way the quality of education of capable students in institutions of higher learning in China, the Ministry of Education has started The Quality and Reform Project for Higher Education.Known as Quality Project, it is included as one of the key items in The Planned Education Vitalization Measures for 2003 to 2007, being developed by the Ministry of Education. The responsible person from the Ministry of Education says, taking into account the fact that college enrollment has been continuously expanded while the investment for higher education remains insufficient, it is expected that the education quality will be improved steadily through the implementation of The Quality Project.



译文尽力保留了原文的三个主要文体风格，行文完全遵从译文规范。例如，使用了介词短语、分词短语和从句，原文用引号的地方，译文使用了斜体字等。另外，译文第一句、第二句为整句，第三句为散句，整句、散句相间；第一句较长，第三句更长，第二句较短，长句、短句分置；第一句、第二句都是简单句；第三句是个比较复杂的主从复合句，简单句、复合句相杂。第三句的宾语从句中有一个分词短语，同位语从句中有一个状语从句；第三句的宾语从句中的主句为被动语态，宾语从句中的主语为主语从句。这些手段的使用，虽然无碍于保留原文的主要文体风格特点，但已经使译文别具一格，至少在微观上有别于原文的文体风格。



3.2.5 在目前举行的哈尔滨工程大学毕业生见面会上，来自全国各地的 400余家用人单位排满了会场。有“中国第一厂”之称的江南造船厂人事部的徐毅敏对哈尔滨工程大学的毕业生十分欣赏：“这儿的学生基础扎实，专业对口，动手能力强，我们欢迎。”如今，该校今年本科毕业生的签约率已达 90% 以上，连续三年毕业生的一次就业率分别达到 97% 、 95% 、 90% 。那么，该校如此高的就业率来自哪里？党委书记刘志刚告诉记者：“这是我们全力实施‘名校战略’的结果。”



上例仍然是一段有关教育的报道，具体报道哈尔滨工程大学毕业生就业情况，文字也比较正式，有些句子偏长，例如第一句、第二句、第三句；第一句中还有个很长的介词短语。另外，本段第一个文体风格特点是用数字说明问题，第二个特点是引用江南造船厂人事部的同志和该校党委书记的话阐述该校毕业生受欢迎的情况和就业率高的主要原因。现根据原文的主要文体特点，试译如下：



3.2.6 At the graduate fair held recently in Harbin University of Technology, the hall is crowded with personnel workers from more than 400 prospective employers. Xu Yimin, a personnel worker from Jiangnan Ship Building Yard, honored as the First Ship Building Yard in China, expressed his appreciation of the graduates from Harbin University of Technology, saying: “We welcome graduates from this university for their solid knowledge foundation, adaptability to our special tasks and skills in doing technical jobs.”Up to now, more than 90% of the graduates have signed contracts with prospective employers. In the recent three consecutive years, the employment rates for the university graduates amount to 97%, 95% and 90% respectively. Where does the high employment rate lie? Liu Zhigang, Party Secretary of the University, told the reporter, “The high employment rate results from our implementation of running famous university strategy.”



译文力图保留原文的主要文体风格特点如文字较正式、运句较长、用数字说话、以引用他人的话语为证等。但翻译时遵从译文的行文规范遣词、造句、构段、谋篇。例如，第一自然段中，第一句较短，第二句很长；这两个句子都是整句，但结构不同。第一句从属成分（介词短语）在前，主谓成分在后；第二句使用了两个插入成分，一个分词短语。第二自然段中，第一句较短，第二句较长，第三句更短，第四句更长。这四个句子，一二两句为整句，三四两句为散句，而且整句与整句、散句与散句的结构相互区别。另外，原文中人名前面的定语，翻译时都遵从英语的行文规范改为同位语了。以上这些方面都有别于原文。从这个意义上说，译文，虽然是紧扣原文翻译的，在一定程度上已形成了自己的文体风格，至少是在微观上。



3.2.7 在今年表彰的全国学雷锋、志愿服务先进个人中，一位年轻博士格外引人注目，他就是国防科技大学人文与管理学院文史教研室主任刘凤健副教授。据了解，刘凤健是这次受表彰者中学历最高的人之一。刘凤健曾是湖南省委机关干部，先后两次下基层担任镇党委副书记和副县长。 1998年在湖南师范大学获博士学位，他弃官从教，入伍来到国防大学当了一名政治理论课教员。多年来，他无论在什么工作岗位上都以雷锋为榜样。



这仍然是一篇报道性文字，具体报道了受到表彰的一位全国学雷锋、志愿服务先进个人。但我们所引的这篇报道的有关段落没有涉及被报道人的先进事迹，而仅报道了被表彰者的工作与工作经历以及他的职称与学历。为了吸引读者，原文第一句使用了整句，将句子的主要信息一直保留到句子的最后部分。这样做，使读者产生了悬念，生发了要将整个句子甚至整个段落一气读完的欲望。另外，字里行间隐含着当官比教书更有前途的观点，隐含着上级机关的机关干部下到基层任职，就踏上了奔前程的征程的看法。现根据原文的主要文体特点，试译如下：



3.2.8 Among Advanced Individuals of Learning From Lei Feng and Offering Volunteer Service Throughout the Country who are praised for their deeds, a young doctor attracted special attention. He is Liu Fengjian, associate professor and head of Teaching and Research Section of Liberal Arts and History of School of Humanities and Management of National Defense University of Science and Technology. According to some source of information, Liu Fengjian is of the highest academic qualification among those praised.



Liu Fengjian was originally an office worker of the Party Committee of Hunan Province, serving twice on official positions as Deputy Secretary of the Party Committee of a town and Deputy Magistrate of a county. In 1998, he obtained the doctor degree from Hunan Normal University, dropped out from the official position and came to National Defense University of Science and Technology as a political theory instructor. For many years, on whatever jobs, he always follows Lei Feng as an example.



译文将原文的第一句译成了两句，但第一句译文也使用了整句，将主要信息保留到了句子的最后，同样可获得使读者产生悬念的效果。第二句译文使用了散句，用同位语介绍了刘凤健的头衔和工作单位。另外，译文的字里行间仍保留了原文的字里行间的隐含意义。在保留原文这些文体特点的同时，译文行文遵循英语的行文规范，交互使用整句与散句、长句与短句，适当使用了同位语、介词短语与分词短语。例如，译文第一段的第二句，按照英语的行文规范，将原文姓名前面的定语译成了同位语，将单位名称颠倒成以从小到大的顺序排列；译文第二段的第一句使用了分词短语，将原来的并列信息分出了主次等。这些手段的使用使译文形成了有别于原文的文体风格。



3.2.9 1990年 3月 1日，刘长峰入伍来到帕米尔高原。 1998年4月，他被调整到山下的英吉沙县人武部生产连代理连长。这时他的妻子也从河北老家随军到了部队，一家人终于团聚了。山下氧气充足，工作、生活环境都比边防好，而且爱人、女儿能常在一起。可是刘长峰割舍不下对高原和边防的情结，在山下工作仅一年，就再三向组织申请，要求到条件更艰苦的阿里高原。（本节的中文例子均摘自《光明日报》等报纸，具体的报纸名称、日期和版面现都难以确定，特表歉意）这也是一段报道性文字，报道一位主动要求到更为艰苦的环境中工作的基层军官。该段的两个主要文体风格特点是，一、原文的第一部分是根据时间顺序从空间的角度展开的；二、原文第二部分描述了舒适的工作环境和家庭生活与刘长峰要求去的地方的艰苦环境，形成了鲜明的对照。现根据原文的主要文体风格特点，试译如下：



3.2.10 On March 1, 1990, Liu Changfeng was enlisted, working as a soldier on the Pamirs. In April, 1998, he was transferred to Yingjisha County at the foot of the Pamirs serving as acting leader of the production company of the People’s Armed Forces Department of the county. At the time, with his wife also coming to the armed forces department from her hometown in Hebei Province, finally the family was reunited.With sufficient oxygen, better working and living conditions, he could now enjoy this better life with his wife and daughter. However, Liu Changfeng could not tear himself away emotionally from the Plateau and the frontier. Having worked for only one year, he submitted applications repeatedly for transfer to the Ali Plateau, where the working and living conditions are much harder.



译文尽力保留了原文的两个主要文体特点，翻译时尽量按照英语的行文习惯行文。例如，第一段的三个句子虽然都是整句，但前两个句子主语前面的介词短语较短，第三个句子的主语前面除有一个较短的介词短语外，还有一个较长的名词独立结构，是一个插入成分。第二段第一句、第三句是整句，但第一句以从句开头，第三句以分词短语开头，后面带一个非限定性定语从句。另外，也适当地注意了长句与短句相互交错。这些手段的运用，在一定程度上使译文形成了自己的文体风格，部分有别于原文的文体风格。

第三节可行性翻译第三节可行性翻译



这里主要介绍两种可行性翻译。一、按照常规翻译方法，将一种原文翻译成两种甚至几种不同的译文；二、按照非常规翻译方法，翻译时简述原文大意甚至将原文译成其他体裁的文字。我们介绍第二种方法，目的在于让学生解放思想，使他们看到，这些非常规翻译在翻译实践中是大量存在的，随着翻译理论的深入发展，这些翻译也越来越多地得到翻译理论界的重视。但鉴于本书仅使用于教学环境，我们不准备介绍将散文翻译成诗歌或戏剧的改变体裁的翻译，仅介绍略述原文大意的翻译，而且是不太离谱的翻译。



非常规翻译往往是由多种因素决定的，主要涉及原文、读者、译者和翻译要求。如果原文是在时间仓促的情况下经过许多程序后形成的，在成文过程中，各方又没有很好地碰头或通气，有可能影响文字的质量，出现前后重复、层次不清、词不达意甚至前后矛盾的情况。这时译者就必须仔细揣摩原文，对原文进行重组或部分重组，显化原文中词不达意的地方，纠正原文中的讹错。如果原文很长，译文读者的精力和时间又非常有限，就必须用述其大意的方法来翻译。如果原文所涉及的文化，尤其是古文化，译文读者很不熟悉，例如翻译古代的文学作品或用典过多的原文，就有必要改造原文，使之适应译文读者的阅读水平。当然，翻译是译者的事。面对原文，是采用常规方法还是采用非常规方法来翻译，译者往往有自己的考虑。本书不打算对这些问题进行更多的理论阐述，下面先介绍常规的可行性翻译，然后介绍非常规即简述原文大意的可行性翻译。



3.3.1 Full of danger as life is, such danger often lies beyond our conscious awareness. Getting on a plane for the first time, for example, we may feel worried about its dropping onto the ground, though assured that it has been the safest transportation up to the present. A car is much more dangerous than a plane, but we are blind to the danger. To some extent, this is natural, for we are often afraid of dangerous things unfamiliar. In order to make clear of various dangers we may encounter under all circumstances and help us make sensible decisions on such an encounter, a new science, known as risk estimation, has come into being. Of course, the development of such a science aims at reducing potential dangers to the minimum.



For example, risk estimation has now been applied to investigation into the dangers involved in the consumption of energy. On a sudden thought, atomic energy consumption may involve enormous dangers, for in case of an accident, no one could escape its radiation. Actually, any form of energy consumption may inevitably involve some danger. Burning of fossil fuel may produce large quantity of toxic gas, though usually we are not aware of the danger. Through careful research, just as you may not like the construction of a nuclear reactor in your neighborhood, so you may not tolerate the building of a coal burning power station near your residence.



这是本章原文例 3.1.3 的另一种译文。不难看出，在遣词造句上与译文例 3.1.4 有许多区别。例如译文例 3.1.4 的第一句与第二句在这里合并了；状语从句使用了倒装句式，主句变换了句型，主谓结构和主述谓位结构都变了。第三句译文例 3.1.4 为主从复合句，这里将两个从句都改成了分词短语。第四句译文例 3.1.4 为主从复合句，主句前后各有一个从句，这里变成了表示转折关系的两个并列的简单句，如此等等。另外，这个译文交替使用了整句和散句，注意了句子与句子之间的衔接，恰当地使用了分词短语与插入成分等，使语意更为连贯，篇幅更为紧凑。在词语选用上，两个译文也有较大的区别，但总体上看，仍是常规翻译。



3.3.2 Recently, libraries, museums and bookstores in Beijing can often witness culture lectures on various topics, on different scales and of various sizes. Such lectures can be regarded in the least as repeated public knowledge imparting and at best as cases of advanced culture cultivations. Organized by China Modern Literature Museum, the weekend free lectures, for example, can certainly serve as a pioneering model. Writers and scholars are striving for the lecturing opportunities while auditors are honored to be included in the audience. Surely, mass participation in such learning activities will greatly enhance our national traits.



这是本章原文例 3.1.5 的另一种译文，与译文例 3.1.6 有许多区别。例如，第一句由于使用 witness而变换了整个句型，译文例 3.1.6 的第二句和第三句在这里合并了，等等。本例共五个句子，第二句和第四句是散句，第一句、第三句和第五句是整句；第四句是主从复合句，其余四个句子都是简单句；第二句用了被动语态，其余的都是主动的；第三句使用了插入成分，其余的都没有使用。在词语选择上也有许多区别，篇幅上也比译文例 3.1.6 更加紧凑，但总体上仍是常规翻译。



3.3.3 In the year of 2003, the first year for the execution of the line laid down by the Party’s 16th National Congress, a good beginning or a steady first step in the college student enrollment will be of great significance. The general task and the requirement for enrollment of the year goes as follows: under the guidance of the spirit of the Party’s 16th National Congress, we aim, through hard struggle and effective work, at accomplishment of the plan of enrolling 3.35 million students into colleges, including 1.73 million students for senior colleges, institutes and universities. In the implementation, we will continue to deepen the college entrance examination reform and turn a new leaf in the establishment of a more satisfactory college student enrollment system. Our immediate specific work is to make various preparations in the month ahead of the college entrance examination, manage the enrollment work in accordance with relevant laws, reinforce management supervision and ensure fair-play and justice in the work of college entrance examination and enrollment.



这是本章原文例 3.1.7 的另一种译文，与译文例 3.1.8 有许多区别。本例对原文的意义层次进行了局部调整，为许多句子选用了不同于前译的句式，所选用的句子长短相间，整句与散句错落有致，所选的词语也不同于译文例 3.1.8 的词语。例如，本例第一句的介词短语中插入了一个很长的同位语，将原文中贯彻落实十六大精神的第一年放在同位语中，将开好头、起好步放在主句中，实际上重新组织了译文例 3.1.8 的意义结构。本例的其余各句也对前译作了适当的调整。尽管如此，整个翻译手法并没有超出常规翻译的范畴。



3.3.4 Even if the disease is beyond curability, the heart of the patient can be warmed up. With this in mind, Zhong Jiandong often says to the medical workers of the clinic: “It is much more beneficial to the patient than precious medicines if an officer or soldier who comes to see the doctor is greeted with a smile and a warm hello.” He shows more concern for the soldiers who have once been ill for a long time by noting down their units and names and contacting them frequently for information concerned with their restoration to health.



这是本章原文例 3.1.9 的另一种译文，与译文例 3.1.10 有许多区别。本例虽然还是三句，但句式变了，仔细对照前译，还能发现许多细微的变化。例如，本例第一句仍然是主从复合句，但变换了句式；第二句中的直接引语的表达方式全变了，更接近于书面语言；最后一句也有许多局部变化。然而这些变化仍是常规翻译范围内的变化。



3.3.5 From the present year on, Liaoning Province will publicize the college graduate employment rate and regard it as one of important criteria for assessment of education quality of institutions of higher learning and use it for the evaluation of work records of the leading bodies concerned. In face of the unfavorable college graduate employment situation, Educational Department and Development & Planning Committee of the province will regard better college graduate employment and gratudate business commencement as a very important task, take various reform measures, and readjust and develop employment policies to solve college graduate employment problems.



这是本章原文例 3.1.11 的另一种译文，与译文例 3.1.12 有些区别。这些区别主要在于，本例将前译的四句字合并成两句，句子的长度增加了，层次更加复杂了，更多地选用了名词化的词语等。例如，本例的第一个句使用两个并列谓语将前译的一二两句合并起来，本例的第二句使用三个并列谓语将前译的后两个句子合并起来，句型和词语的选用上也有许多细微的变化。但这些变化仍属于常规翻译范围内的变化。



3.3.6 For the 50-year-old Lei Yunjiao, it is not easy to complete her high school education already, why should she want to be enrolled into university? To the question, she answered: “I want to be a writer.” Surprising as the answer is, the explanation lies in that from more than 3000 letters she has received and more than 4000 talks she has conducted with children in recent years, she finds that many children are suspicious of their parents’ qualifications as they fail to understand their children. While parents show every love and concern for their children, expecting them to become talents, children are repellent and resistant to such a love. In the interest of the future of children and for the sake of shedding light on more parents, she would like to write a book on experiences and approaches she has accumulated in the recent years of her moral work and dedicate her ideas to more parents and teachers.



这是本章原文例 3.2.1 的另一种译文，与译文例 3.2.2 不同的是，本例增加了 to the question, surprising as the answer is, the explanation lies in that ， for the sake of shedding light on等表达形式；将前译的前两句合并成一句，变换了前译第三句的句式，将前译第四、第五句合并成一句，同时变换了句式，更多地使用了正式词语等。但这些变化仍是局部变化，整个译文仍属于常规译文。



3.3.7 In accordance with what has been briefed today by Zhou Ji, Minister of Education, the Ministry of Education has put into operation The Quality and Reform Project for Institutions of Higher Learning in order to improve the quality for education of capable college students in an all-round way.Known as Quality Project for short, it is one of the important measures to be taken that are included in The Plan for Education Vitalization Measures for 2003 to 2007 being prepared by the Ministry of Education. According to the responsible person from the Ministry of Education, the problem with China’s higher education is that while the enrollment keeps expanding, the investment into higher education remains insufficient. Through the implementation of Quality Project, education quality will surely be expected to improve steadily.



这是本章原文例 3.2.3 的另一种译文，与译文例 3.2.4 有些不同，主要表现在句式的选择和局部调整上。例如，本例第一句变换了前译的句型，将前译主语前的两个介词短语变成了一个，将前译的目的状语移到了句末；第二句改变了前译的信息，增添了 one of the important measures to be taken ，将有关行动计划的文字置于定语从句之中；第三段增添了 the problem with China’s education is ，将这方面的有关信息降成了从句的内容等。虽然采取了上述措施，译文仍是常规译文。



3.3.8 In the graduate supply-and-demand market gathering held in Harbin University of Technology recently, a gathering packed with personnel workers from more than 400 prospective employers from various corners of China, Xu Yimin, a personnel worker from the Personnel Department of Jiangnan Ship Building Yard, known as China’s First Yard, expressed his profound appreciation of the graduates by saying: “We welcome them for their solid knowledge foundations, flexible adaptability to our special tasks and competent technical skills.”



Up to the present, more than 90% of the graduates have signed contracts with their prospective employers. In addition, in the recent three consecutive years, the graduate employment rates for the university have amounted to 97%, 95% and 90% respectively. What can account for such a high graduate employment rate, then? To answer the question, Liu Zhigang, Party Secretary of the University, told the reporter: “We owe the high employment rate to our implementation of the strategy of aiming at building ours into a famous university.”



这是本章原文例 3.2.6 的另一种译文，与译文例 3.2.7 有较大的区别，主要在于： 1）前译的第一段一长一短共两句，现译文仅用了一个很长的整句和一个直接引语，但增加了一个同位语和一个作同位语定语的分词短语，较大幅度地改变了前译的结构； 2）前译的第二段用了四个句子和一个直接引语，现译文仍然是四个句子和一个直接引语，但增加了 in addition, then, to answer the question等连接性词语，改变了直接引语的翻译方式。另外，在词语层面上也做了适当的调整。虽然采取了上述措施，译文仍是常规翻译。



3.3.9 Among those advanced individuals throughout the country who were praised this year for their deeds in learning from Lei Feng and offering volunteer services, a young man with doctor degree, the highest academic degree possessor among those praised, according to some source of information, attracted particular attention. Liu Fengjian by name, that young man is an associate professor and head of Teaching and Research Section of Liberal Arts and History of School of Humanities and Management of National Defense University of Science and Technology.



Originally, Liu Fengjian served as an office worker of the Party Committee of Hunan Province, and was appointed deputy secretary of the Party Committee of a town and then deputy magistrate of a county, a good start that promises a bright official future. Having obtained the doctor degree from Hunan Normal University in 1998, he was voluntarily transferred from the official post to National Defense University of Science and Technology, working as a political theory instructor. For many years and on whatever posts, he always takes Lei Feng as an example to follow.



这是本章原文例 3.2.7 的另一种译文，与译文例 3.2.8 有较大区别。例如，本例第一段变成了两个结构比较复杂的整句，第一段的第一句将前译的第一段的第一句和第三句合并了，颠倒了前译第三句的意义顺序，将前译第三句的主语变成了同位语，同前译第三句中的介词短语一起作为插入成分使用；第一段的第二句将前译的相应句子中的同位语变成了表语，现译文的主语之前使用了名词短语，使句子显得更加清新可读。本例第二段增加了同位语 a good start that promises a bright official future ，使原文的隐含意义变得比较明显了，现译文还改变了前译相应句子的结构，等等。虽然采取了上述措施，译文仍是常规翻译。



3.3.10 Enlisted on March 1, 1990 into the armed forces, Liu Changfeng came to the Pamirs where his army unit stationed. Transferred in April of 1998 to Yingjisha County at the foot of the Pamirs, he worked as acting leader of the production company of the local armed forces department, enjoying much better working and living conditions there. With his wife coming to the department from their hometown in Hebei Province, the family finally became reunited, hence more enjoyment for the army man .



Besides sufficient oxygen, and better working and living conditions, Liu Changfeng now enjoyed frequent company of his wife and daughter. However, after only one year of enjoying the comfortable life, he began to submit applications repeatedly for transfer to the Ali Plateau, a transfer into much harder living and working conditions.



这是本章原文例 3.2.9 的另一种译文，与译文例 3.2.10区别较大，主要表现在：本例第一段改变了前译的结构，增加了说明性文字如 enjoying much better working and living conditions there 和 hence more enjoyment for the army man等。第二段也改变了前译的结构，增加了 however ，使用了同位语 a transfer into much harder living and working conditions 等。虽然有了这些改变，译文仍是常规译文。上面 10 个例子都是常规性可行性翻译的例子，下面我们将对上述 10 个例子进行非常规翻译。



3.3.11 In our daily life, we are often not aware of the danger from what we are familiar with. For example, on a aeroplane, we are afraid of its dropping onto the ground, though assured that it is a much safer transportation vehicle than a car or a passenger bus. This points to the necessity of estimating risks scientifically, thence a new science, risk estimation, coming into being. Consequently, through estimating risks scientifically, you may not tolerate the building of a coal burning power plant near your home the same way you refuse the construction of a nuclear reactor in your neighborhood, though the power plant may sound much less dangerous than a nuclear reactor.这种翻译仅叙说了原文的意义梗概，许多细节都被浓缩了或省略了，但原文的主要意义和意义层次依然可见。



3.3.12 Recently, culture lectures are often conducted in libraries, museums and bookstores in Beijing, with the weekend free lectures, organized by China Modern Literature Museum, as the pioneering model. Such lectures are packed with both voluntary lecturers and audience. We believe that with great masses participating in such activities, the quantity of our citizens will be greatly improved. 这段译文仅译出了原文的主要意义，对原文的结构和意义都进行了较大幅度的浓缩，但原文的精华部分仍清晰可辨。



3.3.13 The year of 2003, the first year for carrying out the spirits of the Party’s 16th National Congress, warrants a steady first step for the college student enrollment, aiming at enrolling 3.35 million students into colleges, with the enrollment of 1.73 million into senior colleges and universities. In the implementation of the task, we will make necessary preparations a month ahead of the entrance examination, manage the enrollment work by observing laws, reinforce supervision, and ensure fair-play and justice. 这段译文将前译减少了一半以上，但前译的主要意义和表达这些意义的主要结构依然清晰可辨。当然，采用了有别于前译的句型，虽然许多词语仍然和前译相雷同。



3.3.14 Zhong Jiandong, a doctor in charge of an army clinic, believes that a smiling greeting with a warm hello to a sick soldier may prove more effective than medicine. With this belief, he shows every concern for sick soldiers, especially those who have suffered from a long illness.

这段译文对前译进行了高度浓缩，直接引语也变成了间接思维，但原文的主要意义依然历历在目。



3.3.15 This year, Liaoning Province has put forward a new measure to promote the work of college graduate employment by publicizing the employment rate and regarding it as a criterion for assessing the achievements of the leading bodies of the institutions of higher learning. In addition, they will take reform measures, and readjust the old and develop the new employment policies for the promotion purpose. 本段译文对前译进行了高度浓缩，仅保留了前译的主要意义，但前译的精华部分仍清晰可辨。



3.3.16 The fact that Lei Yunjiao, a 50-year-old woman, wants to be a writer lies in that from her experiences she comes to know that many children are suspicious of their parents’ qualifications by complaining that they do not understand them although they show every love for them. The best way to help parents and teachers alike, as she sees it, is to write a book on experiences and approaches she has accumulated for the sake of shedding light on more parents and dedicate her ideas to more teachers involved in the work of cultivating children. For this sake, she wants to be enrolled into a university upon her completion of her high school education.本段译文对前译进行了适度浓缩，保留了前译的精华意义，但改变了前译的句子结构，虽然在用词上有些雷同。



3.3.17 According to Zhou Ji, Minister of Education, and other responsible persons, the Ministry of Education has put forward The Quality Project for Institutions of Higher Learning, hoping to solve the problem of the increasing expansion of enrollment without sufficient increase of educational funds. They believe that the implementation of such a project will enhance the education quality in an all round way. 本段译文扼要地简述了原译文的大意，只能称为译述。尽管如此，前译的主要意义仍然清晰可辨。



3.3.18 Graduates from Harbin University of Technology are welcome for their solid knowledge foundations, flexible adaptability and proper technical skills. For this reason, the graduate employment rate for the university in the recent three consecutive years are 97%, 95% and 90% respectively. And the profound account for that lies in the university’s strategy of building theirs into a famous university. 本段译文仅扼要地简述了前译的大意，两个直接引语都没有用引语翻译，仅攫取了些须意义，对江南造船厂及其他一些内容，都进行了删削。



3.3.19 A former cadre with a bright future, Liu Fengjian, associate professor and head of a section of a department of National Defense University of Science and Technology, was praised for his work in learning from Lei Feng and was the only one among those praised with a doctor degree, the highest academic degree, according to some source of information. 本段译文仅扼要地简述了前译的大意，许多细节如到部队院校之前的经历，浓缩成了一个短短的名词短语，人物所在的国防科技大学的院系和教研室名称翻译时也省略了。



3.3.20 Liu Changfeng was stationed with his army unit on the Pamirs but was later transferred to a county at the foot of the plateau with much better working and living conditions. In addition, his wife with their daughter came to join him. However, he repeatedly asked the leaders to transfer him to another plateau whose conditions are much harder. This shows that Liu Changfeng is among those who would like to be first to fight hardships but the last to enjoy a comfortable life. 本段译文扼要地简述了前译的大意，对所有细节进行了高度浓缩，但最后增加了一句原文没有的说明性文字，使主题更为鲜明。



以上对本章前两节汉语原文进行了不同于前译的可行性翻译，包括常规的和非常规的。下面将以 5 段新的汉语原文为例，在常规翻译的基础上，对原文进行两种非常规翻译，后一种要比前一种更多地偏离常规。翻译之后，对之进行简要的分析。



3.3.21 日前，济南市卫生行政部门出台“五条禁令”，重点整治医药购销中的腐败，以各种名义收受回扣、变相回扣和红包的医务人员将被暂停执业活动，吊销执业证书，直至除名。据介绍，对于少数医务工作者廉洁自律方面存在的问题，特别是在医药购销过程中收受回扣的现象，济南市卫生局今年将工作重点放在着力解决医药购销中的腐败上，回扣、红包等问题是打击的重点。



Normal translation:Normal translation:At present, the medical administration department of Jinan Municipality has enacted “five forbids”, mainly to fight against corruptions in medical purchasing and selling transactions. Those who accept sales commission, sales commission in disguise or red packs, will have their jobs, or their work permits terminated, or have their names crossed out of the staff list.



According to certain source of information, there are problems with some medical workers in terms of self-discipline and freedom from corruption, particularly in the form of acceptance of sales commissions. The Health Bureau of Jinan Municipality will in this year focus on elimination of corruption existent in medicine purchasing and selling transactions. Those who accept sales commissions and red packs will be punished severely.



不难看出，上面的翻译是我们理解的通常意义上的翻译。特点是不增不减，逐句甚至主词翻译，只是在局部范围内按照英语的行文习惯，对原文的个别词语做些小的变动，如此而已。一句话，这就是多年来学生心目中的常规翻译。



Abnormal translation 1:Abnormal translation 1:Some medical workers, though very few in number, are not strict with themselves in terms of self-discipline and freedom from corruption. A case in point is acceptance of sales commissions. This has attracted the attention of the Health Bureau of Jinan Municipality, which, according to some source of information, is determined this year to eliminate the corruption involved in medicine trading transactions, focusing in particular on taking effective actions against such corruptions as acceptance of sales commissions or money wrapped in red. Specifically speaking, the medical administration department of Jinan Municipality has enacted “Five Decrees of Forbidding”, aiming mainly at punishing those who accept sales commissions or disguised sales commissions or money wrapped in red by having either their jobs or their work permits terminated or themselves dismissed from the post.



这段译文对前面的译文做了较多的变动。首先，将两段前译合并成一段，颠倒了前译的意义层次；第二，对前译中意义重复的部分进行了适度的归并与删减；第三，部分地重组了前译中的局部信息；第四，采用了一些有别于前译的句型；第五，增加了短语specifically speaking ，不但有利于前后衔接，更有利于表明意义层次。这些手段的使用，使译文的主题意义更为集中，逻辑性有所增强，语篇也更加连贯，也更加符合译入语的行文习惯，比较有利于译文读者。这种翻译，从某种意义上说，有一定的改写或创作成分。



Abnormal translation 2:Abnormal translation 2: In face of corruptions in medicine trading transactions, recently, the medical administration department, namely, the Health Bureau of Jinan Municipality, has enacted “Five Decrees of forbidding”, aiming mainly at punishing those who accept sales commissions or disguised sales commissions or money wrapped in red by having either their jobs or their work permits terminated or by having acceptors themselves dismissed from the post.本段译文和上一段一样，将原文的两段并成了一段，将译者认为是冗余信息的部分全部删除，仅根据译者自己的理解，翻译了原文的主要意义。译文按照译入语的行文习惯安排意义层次，下笔抒词。当然这种翻译离常规较远，课堂教学中一般不宜提倡，但给出一两个例子让学生知道翻译实践中这种翻译确实存在，还是很有必要的。



3.3.22 中共中央政治局常委、国务院总理温家宝 12日下午来到北京佑安医院，看望参加非典型肺炎防治工作的医学专家和医护人员。温家宝代表党中央、国务院向全国奋战在非典型肺炎防治工作第一线的广大医务人员致以亲切慰问。中共中央政治局委员、北京市委书记刘淇，中共中央政治局委员、国务院副总理吴仪，国务委员兼国务院秘书长华建敏一同参加了慰问。



Normal translation:Normal translation:On April 12, 2003, Wen Jiabao, standing member of the Political Bureau of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China and premier of the State Council came to You’an Hospital in Beijing to see the medical experts and workers engaged in prevention of SARS and treatment of SARS patients. On behalf of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China and the State Council, he extended his cordial greetings to the medical workers who are fighting on the forefront of SARS prevention and SARS patient treatment.



Liu Qi, member of the Political Bureau of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China and secretary of the Party Committee of Beijing Municipality, Wu Yi, member of the Political Bureau of CCCPC and vice-premier of the State Council, and Hua Jianmin, councilor and secretary-general of the State Council, accompanied Wen Jiabao on the trip.



上面的翻译是常规性的，基本上没有改变原文字词句的顺序，考虑到英汉两种语言的修饰成分与被修饰成分在位置上的差别而做了些相应的调整。例如，原文将人物头衔作为定语置于人名之前，译文根据英语行文规范，将人物头衔作为同位语置于人名之后，如此而已。



Abnormal translation 1:Abnormal translation 1:Accompanied by Liu Qi, member of the Political Bureau and secretary of the Party Committee of Beijing Municipality, Wu Yi, member of the Political Bureau and vice-premier of the State Council, and Hua Jianmin, councilor and secretary-general of the State Council, Wen Jiabao, standing member of the Political Bureau of CCCPC and premier of the State Council, came to You’an Hospital in Beijing to see the medical experts and workers engaged in SARS prevention and SARS patient treatment. On behalf of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China and the State Council of the People’s Republic of China, he extended to them his cordial regards.



上面的翻译有一些非常规的地方。例如，将两段原文浓缩成一段，改变了原文的语篇结构；将有关温家宝总理陪同人员的信息作为分词短语置于句首，使句子变成了整句，从而突出了温家宝总理及其活动；也适当浓缩了描写温总理活动的部分。更为重要的是，第一句由于使用了整句与插入成分，将主要信息保留到了句子的最后，可以使读者产生悬念，产生读完全段的欲望。



Abnormal translation 2:Abnormal translation 2:– Accompanied by such VIPs as Liu Qi, Wu Yi and Hua Jiangmin, Wen

Jiabao, standing member of the Political Bureau of CCCPC and premier of the State Council, came to You’an Hospital to extend, on behalf of CCCPC and the State Council, his cordial regards to experts and medical workers fighting against SARS there.

– – 上面的翻译对陪同人员的具体职务进行了省略，党中央也用了缩略词，描写温家宝总理活动的文字也有所浓缩。译者根据自己的理解，仅翻译了原文的主要内容以及与主要内容有关的主要意义，这种翻译与改写就已经比较接近了，但译文比较符合英语的行文习惯。



3.3.23 国务院 13日下午在京召开非典型肺炎防治工作会议，通报当前全国非典型肺炎防治工作情况，交流预防、治疗和控制工作经验，分析疫情发展趋势及其对我国经济社会的影响，全面部署下一步非典型肺炎防治工作。中共中央政治局常委、国务院总理温家宝发表重要讲话。他指出，要充分认识做好非典型肺炎防治工作的重要性和紧迫性，统一思想，加强领导，明确责任，采取有力措施，切实加强和认真做好非典型肺炎的预防、治疗和控制工作，保护人民群众身体健康，维护改革发展和稳定的大局，确保社会主义现代化建设顺利进行。



Normal translation:Normal translation: On the afternoon of April 13, the State Council conducted a working conference in Beijing on SARS prevention and SARS patient treatment. At the conference, experiences were exchanged concerned with SARS prevention, SARS patient treatment and bringing SARS under control. They analyzed the development trends of the epidemic disease and the impacts it exercises on our economy and society.



At the conference, a plan was declared concerned with the prevention and treatment in the near future. Also at the conference, Wen Jiabao, standing member of the Political Bureau of CCCPC and premier of the State Council, delivered an important speech. He pointed out that we should fully realize the significance and urgency of doing a good job in SARS prevention and treatment, unify our ideas, reinforce leadership, specify responsibility and take effective measures in order to really improve SARS prevention, treatment and control work, to protect the health of broad masses, maintain the overall situation of reform, development and stability, and insure the smooth development of our socialist modernization construction.



上面的翻译属于常规翻译，基本上是严格按照原文的字词句原封不动地翻译过来的，只是在处理中英两种语言的行文和衔接的差异时做了一点细小的变通，如此而已。



Abnormal translation 1:Abnormal translation 1:

On the afternoon of April 13, the State Council initiated a working conference concerned with prevention and treatment of SARS. They publicized SARS prevention and treatment information of the country, exchanged experience in this regard, analyzed the development trends of the epidemic disease and the impacts it exercises on the economy and society, declared the prevention and treatment plan for the next period.



At the conference, Wen Jiabao, standing member of the Political Bureau of CCCPC and premier of the State Council, delivered a very important speech. He urged us to be fully aware of the significance and urgency of the work, eliminating ideas different from the awareness, reinforcing leadership and specifying accountability. In addition, he wanted effective measures to be taken such as doing really good jobs and effectively improving work concerned with SARS prevention, treatment and control. The aim is at protecting broad masses from possible suffering and maintaining an excellent situation for reform, development and stability, and guarantee smooth development of socialist modernization construction.



本段译文对原文的重复性文字作了技术处理，在翻译温家宝总理的讲话内容时，也作了适当的变动，大幅度地改变了前译的句型，变换了层次与层次之间的衔接手段等。总体上看，是一种变动不大的非常规翻译，或者更确切地说，是一种稍有变动的常规翻译，但已经远不是亦步亦趋的翻译。



Abnormal translation 2:Abnormal translation 2:In face of the severe situation of the rapid spreading of SARS in China, on the afternoon of April 13, the State Council held a working conference to exchange experience in patient treatment, and SARS prevention and control. In addition to analysis of the severe situation, the conference called on us to carry out SARS prevention measures developed by the Party Central Committee and the State Council.



At the conference, Premier Wen Jiabao delivered an important speech and required us to be fully aware of the significance and urgency of the work, eliminate different ideas, reinforce leadership, specify responsibility and take effective measures so as to do effective work in patient treatment, and SARS prevention and control. Only in this way, can people’s health surely be guaranteed, and economic development, social stability and modernization construction be ensured.本段对原文中除了温家宝总理讲话之外的内容进行了适度浓缩，保留了报道的基本内容和温家宝总理讲话的基本内容，但译文离原文的全部内容相差较远，许多细节都被删除了或者浓缩了，译文行文时较多地考虑了本身的文从字顺。



3.3.24 今年 1月至 4月初，全国 31 个省区市陆续召开人代会、政协会，选举产生了新一届人大、政府、政协领导班子。通过换届，改善了班子结构，提高了整体素质，推进了干部队伍整体性新老交替与合作，加强了省级领导班子建设。干部队伍年轻化取得新进展。班子平均年龄普遍下降。人大班子平均年龄 59.0岁，比换届前下降 3.7岁；政府班子 51.6岁，下降 3.3岁；政协班子 59.3岁，下降 4.6岁。一大批优秀年轻干部走上了省级领导岗位。政府班子成员50岁以下的占 43.6% ，其中 45岁左右的 55 人，最年轻的35岁。



Normal translation:Normal translation: From January to early April this year, 31 provinces, autonomous regions and municipalities at provincial level convened their people’s congresses and political consultation conferences in succession. New leading bodies were elected for the congresses, governments and conferences. Through this renewal, the overall structure of these bodies is improved and the integrated quality enhanced. In addition, the conventions have promoted the replacement of the new for the old and the co-operation between the two generations, hence the overall reinforcement of configuration of the leading bodies at provincial level.



In terms of age, new progress has been made with younger cadres elected into the leading bodies concerned. The average age of the leading members is universally reduced. The average age of the members of the people’s congresses is 59.0, 3.7 years younger than that of the members of the previous leading bodies. The average age of the members of the governments is 51.6, 3.3 years younger than that of the members of the previous. The average age of members of the political consultation conferences is 59.3, 4.6 years younger than that of the members of the previous. A large number of excellent young cadres have occupied leading positions at provincial level. Among the members of governments, 43.6% are under 50 years old, of whom 55 are around 45 years old, with the youngest being 35 of age. 上面基本上是严格按照原文顺序逐词、逐句、逐段翻译的，只是在解决英汉两种语言的差异时使用了少量的变通手段。例如，为了上下文的衔接，增加了 in terms of age 。因此，是一种常规翻译。



Abnormal translation 1:Abnormal translation 1: From January to April this year, the People’s Congresses and the Political Consultation Conferences were in session one after another in 31 provinces, autonomous regions and municipalities throughout the country, leading to the birth of the new people’s congresses, governments and political consultation conferences at provincial level. With the inclusion of new members into the above-mentioned leading bodies, the structures have been improved and the integrated quality enhanced. With the old replaced by the new, the co-operation between the two generations is reinforced.



In terms of age, new progress is made with younger members elected into these bodies. The average age of body members is universally reduced. Specifically speaking, with the election of a large number of excellent younger cadres onto provincial positions, the average age of members of congresses, of governments and of conferences, are 59.0, 51.6 and 59.3 years old, younger than that of the previous body members by 3.7, 3.3 and 4.6 years respectively. For example, of government members, 53.6% are under 50 years old and 55 among them are around 45 years old, with the youngest being 35 of age.



本段译文的非常规之处在于，在第一自然段中，将召开会议与产生新领导班子的内容组合在一起，将新成员的加盟与改进领导班子结构的内容组合在一起，将新老交替与新老合作的内容组合在一起，实现了意义层次重组，使意义层次更加紧凑，更加清晰。在第二自然段中，将三个领导班子成员的平均年龄与年龄下降组合在一起，既实现了意义层次重组又避免了重复，使意义和结构更加紧凑。这些处理，都是非常规性的，是译文行文规范所要求的，目的在于使译文的意义层次更加清晰，更具有可读性。



Abnormal translation 2:Abnormal translation 2:The successive conventions from January to April this year of the people’s congresses and political consultation conferences at provincial level led to the birth of new leading bodies of the people’s congresses, governments and political conferences concerned. With the conventions, some new members were elected in, hence the improvement of the structures of the leading bodies concerned.



For example, the average age of the members of the people’s congresses, governments and political consultation conferences are 59.0, 51.6 and 59.3 year old, younger than that of the previous by 3.7, 3.3 and 4.6 years respectively. Consequently, now 53.6% of government members are under 50 years old and 55 of them are around 45 years old, with the youngest being 35 of age上面的译文将两段前译合并成一段，内容更加紧凑，层次更加清晰，连贯性也得到了加强。但删去了前译的部分细节，对另外一些非译不可的内容进行了技术处理，这些做法都是反常规的。



3.3.25 知识与专业结构有了新改善。新班子中 80%的成员具有大学以上学历，具有研究生学历的占 27.6% 。特别是政府领导班子中，充实了一批熟悉宏观经济、财政金融、法律和现代科技知识的高层次人才。整体功能得到增强。一批德才兼备、实绩突出、群众公认的优秀干部走上了省级领导岗位。中央关于女干部、党外干部、少数民族干部配备的要求基本实现。班子结构进一步优化，领导现代化建设的能力进一步提高。



Normal translation:Normal translation:Knowledge and specialty structures have also been improved. In new leading bodies, 80% of the members are junior college or university graduates and 27.6% are postgraduates. In governments in particular, a large number of highly qualified members were added who are familiar with macro-economy, revenue and finance, law and modern science and technology.



Integrated functions are improved. A large number of excellent cadres with excellent morality and talent, with outstanding public service records and of good public opinions were elected into leading bodies at provincial level. The requirements with regard to the inclusion of a certain number of women, non-Communist Party members, and minority nationality cadres are basically realized. The structures of leading bodies are further optimized and capability of exercising leadership in construction for modernization has been raised.这是我们常常看到的学生的翻译。基本上是按照原文一句一句地翻译的，对原文重复的地方、意义不太明确的地方都没有进行调整，仅考虑了译文要符合英语的行文习惯。



Abnormal translation 1:Abnormal translation 1:

In terms of education and special knowledge, the structures of the leading bodies are also improved when 80% of new members are in possession of junior college certificates or university degrees while 27.6% are in possession of master or ph.D. degrees. In terms of constituent structure, the requirement set by the Central Committee of the Party is fulfilled with the inclusion of a certain number of women, non-Communists and ethic cadres.



Consequently, the integrated working capacity is improved. For example, large number of government members is capable of handling matters in macro-economy, revenue and finance, law, and modern science and technology. In terms of morality, talent, public service record and public opinion, those who were elected into leading bodies at provincial level are excellent. With structures of leading bodies further optimized, the administration capacity for modernization construction is greatly enhanced.



本段译文对原文进行了意义重组，将学历与干部成份改变的内容相对集中，将能力和社会效果的内容也相对集中，并在译文中注明了二者之间的因果关系。为使原文的意义层次更加清晰，增加了 in terms of, consequently之类的标示意义层次的信号词语。这样翻译，既打乱了原文的顺序，又调整了部分文字，归并了有关信息，增加了必要的信号信息，用传统的眼光看是一种非常规翻译。



Abnormal translation 2:Abnormal translation 2:Educationally, 80% of the leading members are either junior college or university graduates and 27.6% of them are postgraduates. In addition, a number of women, non-Communists and ethnic cadres are included into the leading bodies. This structure betterment leads consequently to the improvement of the working capacity and the social popularity of the leading bodies at provincial level.这里，我们进一步打破常规，进一步浓缩了上面的非常规翻译的内容。为使意义层次清晰，译文中适当地增加了 educationally, in addition, consequently之类的标示意义层次的信号词语，目的在于使读者看到，内容虽然浓缩了，意义层次没变，主要信息仍在。（本节的汉语例子均选自《光明日报》等报纸，具体的报纸名称、日期和版面现已无法确定，特表歉意。）

第四节意义层次的调整与重组第四节意义层次的调整与重组



我们有时看到，有些原文，尤其是报刊杂志上的有些报道性文字和有些提交会议讨论等待修改定稿的某些报告，由于抢时间、赶进度，有时则由于成文过程中人多手杂，经常会出现一些意义层次不清晰甚至意义不够明了的情况，有时甚至出现前后意义重复的现象。出现这些情况，加上运句过长，容易使读者摸不着头脑。有时由于历史文化上的原因，作者所言，熟悉它的业内人士一下就能看明白，不熟悉的就不容易摸不着头脑。出现这些情况时，译者应查阅参考数与工具书，请教有关人士。翻译时，可对原文的内容或结构进行适当调整，必要时增加一点说明性文字或增加注释。这种翻译方法，传统上并不用于课堂教学，但翻译实践中是很常用的。



考虑到我们的学生毕业后将直接面对现场，因此这里简略予以介绍，但不准备介绍时增加注释的翻译。下面首先用传统的方法对原文进行翻译，然后从英语写作的角度对译文进行适度调整。必须指出，我们在本章前三节中，尤其在第三节中，已经涉及到意义层次的调整与重组。当时主要关注常规和非常规翻译，关注如何删削原文的冗余信息乃至细节内容，因而那时所用的调整与重组主要是为上述目的服务的。本节的调整与重组，原则上不涉及删削原文内容，尤其不涉及大幅度的删削。



3.4.1 法院经审理查明， 1999年 1月至 2001年 8月底林芊在担任黄岩迅达城市信用社董事长兼总经理期间，利用职务之便，以化名、冒名等名义向黄岩迅达城市信用社借款，自批自贷挪用本单位资金 3750.6万元用于个人挥霍，至今未还。 1988年 10月，谎言金龙典当行筹建之初，林芊便以高额利息相诱惑，以个人名义并有金龙典当行担保，非法向社会吸收公众资金，仅 1995年 6月 30日至案发时，共非法吸收社会公众存款达 1900余万元，至今尚有 1197.58万元无法清偿。 1999年 12月 8日，林芊为骗取黄岩迅达电化有限公司的公司登记，伪造单据，取得注册资本为 1000万元的验收报告书，从而以骗取方法于 1999年 12月 15日取得黄岩迅达电化有限公司的登记。



分析：分析：上文讲述了林芊的三大罪行： 1）利用职务之便，自批自贷骗取贷款； 2）制造谎言，以高额利息为诱饵，非法集资； 3）以欺骗手段，取得黄岩迅达有限公司的登记。其中，骗取贷款的手段是，林芊用化名、冒名的方法申请贷款，自己又以领导的身份批准自己的化名、冒名申请，因此是自批自贷；非法集资总时间是从 1988年 10月起到案发时为止，但谈到集资款时的时间是从1995年 6月起到案发时为止；他骗取公司登记的手法是，首先伪造单据谎称拥有 1000万元的注册资本，然后用这些单据去骗取验收报告书，最后拿着验收报告书去骗取登记。按照林芊的三大罪行，原文分三个意义层次，每个意义层次又分若干个小层次。现根据上面的分析，先采用紧扣原文的办法试译如下：



Translation 1:Translation 1: Through investigations, the court has arrived at the conclusion that from January of 1999 to the end of August of 2001, when he was appointed director of board and general manager of Xunda Urban Credit Cooperative of Huangyan, Lin Qian misused his position to misappropriate public funds of the Credit Cooperative, totaling 37.506 million yuan. To obtain the loans, he assumed false names or other persons’ names in application and then approved the applications himself, hence his approval of his own application.



All the money has been used for his personal extravagant expenses and has not been returned yet. In October 1988, in order to collect funds for the establishment of Jinlong Pawn, Lin Qian lied that the interest would be very high and the investment would be guaranteed in his own name and in the name of Jinlong Pawn. In this way, he attracted a lot of funds from the public illegally. During the period from June 30, 1995 to when his case was filed, he illegally collected more than 19 million yuan from the masses, of which 11.9758 million yuan he could not return to the investors. On December 8, 1999, Lin Qian was planning to obtain by cheating the registration of Huangyan Xunda Electro-Chemical Company Limited. For this sake, he forged receipts and fooled the registrar so that he obtained the check report that verifies that the registration capital was 10 million yuan. In this way, he obtained by cheating the registration of Huangyan Xunda Electro-Chemical Company Limited on December 15, 1999.



上文是用传统的方法翻译的，即便如此，个别地方也对原文进行了局部调整。例如，在翻译第一个意义层次时，添加了 to obtain the loans ，在翻译利用他人名义或化名骗取贷款的地方添加了 in application, hence his approval of his own application ；在翻译第二个意义层次时，添加了 in this way, he attracted a lot of funds from the public ；在翻译第三个意义层次时，对原文的局部意义进行了适当的重组。虽然采取了这些措施，译出来的段落仍有斧凿之痕，各个意义层次之间的区别与联系仍不够清晰。现根据上面的分析，对译文重新进行调整。



Translation 2:Translation 2:Through trials and investigations, the court has found out that Lin Qian committed three crimes. First, taking advantage of his position, Lin Qian, director of board and general manager of Huangyan Xunda Urban Credit Cooperative (from January 1999 to the end of August 2001) misappropriated public funds of the Cooperative totaling 37.506 million yuan by assuming a false name or the name of another person in application and then by approving those misapplications himself. With all the misappropriated money, he had lived his life extravagantly without returning a single penny to the cooperative yet. Second, taking the advantage of making preparations for the establishment of Jinlong Pawn, Lin Qian began to collect funds from the public illegally in October 1988.



The funds he collected during the period from June 30, 1995 to the filing of his case total more than 19 million yuan. He did it by cheating that the investment, guaranteed in his own name and in the name of Jinlong Pawn, would gain high interest. Of the collected funds, 11.9758 million yuan was beyond his returning capacity. Thirdly, in order to obtain by cheating the registration of Huangyan Xunda Electro-Chemical Company Limited, on December 8, 1999, he forged necessary receipts and obtained the check report, verifying that the company was in possession of 10 million yuan as registration funds. With the report, he finally obtained the registration of Huangyan Xunda Electro-Chemical Company Limited on December 15, 1999.



这次翻译在上次翻译的基础上进行了较多的调整。首先，增加了 committed three crimes, 相应地增加了first, second, thirdly等，使语篇的意义层次更加醒目；其次，对各个意义层次的内部结构也进行了调整。例如，在翻译第一个意义层次时，将日期置于括号中；从英语写作的角度将原文的用于个人挥霍翻译成 with all the misappropriated money, he had lived his life extravagantly without returning a single penny to the cooperative yet ；在翻译第三意义层次时，对其内部的意义层次进行了重新调整，理顺了各意义层次之间的内在关系，使局外人也能读懂。



3.4.2 天津是我国北方重要经济中心，现代化港口大都市。近年来在中央的重视和支持下，天津的各项事业蓬勃发展，国内生产总值连续十一年实现两位数增长，经济实力显著增强，人民生活水平不断提高，天津步入了全国发展较快地区的行列。党的十六大以后，天津确定了“三步走”的战略目标。当前，全市上下在围绕大力发展海河经济、海洋经济、优势产业、区县经济、中小企业和个体私营经济等五大战略举措，掀起气势恢宏的新一轮创业热潮。不久的将来，天津必将以更加开放、充满活力的形象展现在世人面前。



分析：分析：本段讲述了十六大前天津的经济发展情况和十六大后天津的经济发展目标。文章指出了天津确定了分三步走的战略目标。虽然所从引文字中，看不出分哪三步，但从上下文我们可以认为，文中提到的五大战略举措是其中的第一步，后面的两步，可能会在引文的后面阐述。我们翻译时，既可严格按照原文顺序和字面意义予以处理，也可以根据我们对原文的理解适当地增加或减少一些信息，使文中句子与句子之间的关系更为明确。现根据上面的分析，先用局部小调整的方法试译如下：



Translation 1:Translation 1: Tianjin is one of the important economic centers in North China and a modern metropolis of harbors. In recent years, with importance attached to by and support from the central government of China, Tianjin is thriving prosperously in an all-round way. Its GDP has kept increasing by two digitals for 11 consecutive years. Apparently it has become economically powerful, the living standards of the people have been continuously raised, and Tianjin is listed among the rapid development regions and areas throughout the country. After the 16th National Congress of the Communist Party of China, Tianjin has decided to develop its economy by Three Steps.



At present, the leading bodies and masses of Tianjin are taking five great strategic measures with focus laid on development of Haihe Economy, Oceanic Economy, Advantageous Industries, District and County Economy, and Medium and Small Enterprises, including Non-Governmental and Private Economies. They have set off a new upsurge of great momentum to create a new development situation. In the near future, Tianjin will present its own image to the world with its door further opened and its vigor renewed.



这种翻译是比较传统的，没有改变原文的行文顺序。即使如此，对某些枝节还是作了点适度调整。例如，将中央的重视与支持译成了with importance attached to by and support from the central government ；将全市上下译成了 the leading bodies and masses of Tianjin ；将展现在世人面前译成了 present its own image to the world等。为使译文更符合英语的行文习惯，我们拟对之做进一步的调整，并试译如下：



Translation 2:Translation 2:With great importance attached to and support given by the Central Government of China, Tianjin, a metropolis with modern harbors, has become one of the important economic centers in North China. In recent years, Tianjin has been thriving in all aspects. For example, the GDP has kept increasing by two digitals for 11 consecutive years, contributing to the strength of economic power and steady improvement of people’s living standards. Therefore, the city is listed among the regions and areas of rapidest economic development. After convention of the 16th Party’s National Congress, Tianjin has set the strategic goal of “Three Step Development”.



As the first step, people of the whole city are at present united as one and striving to fulfill five great strategic developments, namely, developments of Haihe Economy, Oceanic Economy, Advantageous Industries, District and County Economy, and Medium and Small Enterprises, includeing Private and Individual Economies, setting off a new magnificent upsurge for creation of a new development situation. In the near future, Tianjin will exhibit itself as a fully opened and more vigorous municipality.



这次翻译将中央的重视和支持用介词短语译出并置于最前面，将现代化港口大都市作为插入成分、天津的同位语译出。通过这些措施，译文第一句成了一个以名词独立结构开头、主语和谓语之间插入了同位语的结构比较复杂的整句。此外，在 Tianjin has been thriving in all aspects之后加入了 for example ，使天津的 GDP 的增长、经济实力的增强和人民生活水平的提高变成了各项事业蓬勃发展的例证；将 GDP 的增长用句子译出，而将经济实力的增强和人民生活水平的提高用分词译出，明确了彼此之间的因果关系；在五大战略举措之前增加了 as the first step ，使五大战略成了分三步走的第一步，等等。这些举措的出台，使译文层次更为清晰，意义更为连贯，更接近于英语写作。



3.4.3 总体说来一季度经济的高增长是过去五年实施的积极的财政政策和稳健的货币政策累计效果的显现。近五年我国经济走出了一条以前从未有过的既稳定又快速增长的新轨迹。今年一季度的增长是这一良好态势的延续。具体说来，有三个层次的原因。一是房地产、汽车、电子信息这三大类消费品的需求旺盛。二是由这些旺盛的消费需求带动的投资需求的增长，一季度固定资产投资同比增长 30% 。三是由投资高增长带动了钢材、建材、机械设备等投资品生产的高增长，特别是重工业的增长很快。



分析：分析：本段主要讲述第一季度经济增长的原因。总体上看，今年第一季度经济增长是过去五年经济增长的继续，而过去五年经济持续增长是由于实行了积极的财政政策和稳健的货币政策的结果；具体地说，今年第一季度的经济增长有三大原因。根据上面的分析，我们可先用传统的方法进行翻译，翻译时对之略加调整。现试译如下：



Translation 1:Translation 1:Generally speaking, the rapid economic increase in the first quarter of the present year is a manifestation of accumulated effects from the implementation of the pro-active fiscal policies and moderate monetary policies in the last five years. In the those five years, economy of our country has developed on a new track characterized by rapidity and stability. The economic increase of the first quarter of the present year is a continuation of this moderately rapid economic development. Specifically speaking, there are three reasons for the rapid development.



First, the demands for real estates, cars, buses and lorries, and for electronic and information products are on a rise. Secondly, the rising demands for the above-mentioned products promote the increase of investment and the first quarter of the year saw an increase in fixed assets investment by 30%. Thirdly, the increase in investment spurs the increase in the production of iron and steel, building materials and machinery equipment, especially the increase in the development of heavy industries.



这是传统翻译。但在翻译过程中，为了使各个层次间的意义关系更加明晰，增加了generally speaking 、 specifically speaking 等词语。此外，在某些细微末节上对原文也作了适度调整，翻译时也考虑了英语的行文规范。为使译文更符合英语规范，我们拟对之作进一步调整，并试译如下：



Translation 2:Translation 2:The first quarter of the present year saw a rapid and healthy development in economy thanks to the following. Generally speaking, with the implementation of the pro-active fiscal policies and moderate monetary policies, our economy has been increasing steadily along a new track in the last five years. Therefore, the rapid economic increase in the first quarter of this year owes to the accumulated contribution made by the continual development of the those five years. Specifically speaking, the rapid economic increase for the first quarter of the present year are motivated by the following three factors.



First, the demands for real estates, cars, and for electronic and information products are on a rise. Secondly, the rising demands for the above-mentioned products have stimulated the increasing demands for investment and consequently, the first quarter saw an investment increase by 30% as against that of the first quarter of the last year. Thirdly, the increasing investment has stimulated the increase in heavy industries in general and in the production of iron and steel, building materials, machinery and so on, in particular.



这次翻译对前译作了一些调整。首先，将第一季度经济快速增长的原因用抽象的语句译出并置于句首，使之成为总揽全篇的主题句。其次，将最近五年经济的持续增长及其原因单列出来并使之成为今年第一季度经济增长的重要原因的一部分，接着叙述今年第一季度经济增长的三个直接原因，使前后两种原因联系得更为紧密。这两条措施调整了原文的整体结构，使原文的意义层次步步推进。第三，考虑到原文的最后一句可能是个病句，因为钢铁、建材、机械设备等只是重工业的一部分，所以翻译时对之进行了适度调整，译成了 has stimulated the increase in heavy industries in general and in the production of iron and steel, building materials, machinery and so on, in particular 。通过这些调整，消除了语病，译文的脉络更加清晰，意义更加连贯，更接近英文写作，从而增强了译文的可读性。



3.4.4 结构性适度微调有四个层次。首先从投资与消费的总结构来看，有控有扩。投资需求有过热的苗头，需要适度微调控制，而消费需求仍是总体不足，还需扩大。虽有房地产、汽车、电子信息三大类消费品需求的旺盛增长，但这只是新的群体性消费出现的作用，是经过前一段时间购买力的积累才形成的，并不是上世纪八十年代那种有广泛购买力的排浪式消费的表现。同时也应看到，目前的这些需求还只是少数群体的，尚未形成更广泛的购买力量，特别是在广大城镇中低收入者和农民收入没有显著增长的情况下，现在形成的这股消费力量对经济的拉动虽然较高，但还难以持久支持。



分析：分析：这里有些说法不大好理解，例如，有控有扩。但根据上下文，我们知道，控是控制，扩是扩大或增加。也就是说，无论是就投资而言还是就消费而言，某些方面要加以限制，某些方面要继续扩大。另外排浪式消费、群体性消费也都不太好理解。但全段的意义层次是非常清晰的。这样的段子，一般说来比较好翻译，但抠字眼抠得过死，也容易译得让人难以理解。现根据上面的简要分析，用适度调整的方式试译如下：



Translation 1:Translation 1:There are four aspects involved in appropriate structural fine-tuning. First, in terms of the general structure of investment and consumption, there should be restrictions and expansions. The demands for investment tend to overgrow and need to be restricted to the appropriate extent. However, the consumption demands on the whole have insufficiently developed and need to be further encouraged. The consumption demands for real estates, cars and electro-information products are thriving.



However, this is due to the appearance of the new mass consumption, a result based on the accumulated purchase power that has developed through the previous period. It is not the wave after wave consumption with the widespread purchase power that appeared in the 80s of the last century. In the meantime, we should realize that at present, the demands are only from a few consumption groups and the widespread purchase power has not been witnessed yet. Especially, at present, the incomes for the low incomers of small cities and towns, and for farmers, have not apparently increased. The consumption power witnessed at present can fairly highly encourage economic development. However, the motivation power cannot last long.



这是用传统的方法翻译的，只是在翻译时做了些局部微调，在选用词语上动了一点脑子，总体上基本上是按照原文逐字逐句翻译的，翻译时适当地考虑了英语的行文规范。为使译文更符合英语规范，现对之作进一步调整，并试译如下：



Translation 2:Translation 2:The micro-structural readjustment involves four aspects. First, taking into consideration the general investment and consumption structures, some developments should be restricted while others should be further promoted. The thriving demands for real estates, cars and electro-information products can serve as a manifestation of the emergence of a new mass consumption, based on the increasing purchase power accumulated from the previous period to the present.



However, it does not foretell the new upsurge of the waving consumption with the universal purchase power as witnessed in the 80s of the last century. In addition, taking into account the special situation that the incomes for the low incomers in cities and towns and those for farmers have not apparently increased, the stimulation of the newly emerged purchase power to the economic development cannot be long sustained, though it can stimulate the economic development to a fairly great extent.



这个翻译在以前的基础上作了较大的调整。首先，对小的意义层次进行了归并，将整个段落归并成五个大句子。除第一句、第二句与前译大同小异外，其余三个句子与前译都有较大的差异。第三句、第四句、第五句对原文进行了意义重组，用句子突出主要意义，用分词短语、关系代词加分词短语和从句等形式，将次要意义置于次要地位。经过调整，句子内部和句子之间的衔接和连贯得到了一定程度的加强。例如，第二句的主语比较长，谓语要短一些，但谓语后面加上一个比较长的分词短语，较好地改变了头重脚轻的格局。第五句的主语前面有一个介词短语和一个比较长的分词短语，句子的主语部分也比较长，显得有些失重，但随后增加了从句，起到了消除失重的作用。另外，第一句的 four aspects 和第二句的 first相呼应，第三句和第四句之间增加了 however ，第四句和第五句之间增加了 in addition ，使句子之间的意义更为连贯。还有，从第一句到第三句，句子长度逐渐增加，第四句的句长有所缩短，第五句最长，基本上做到了长短相间。这种意义与结构重组，是译者研读原文并对之消化理解之后根据自己的体会做出的。



3.4.5 其次，从投资内部结构看，也要有控有扩。目前，从消费需求向投资需求传导中，效应被放大了。具体说来，在投资的三个环节上有所放大。一是地方上的盲目扩张冲动，有些地方出现超现实能力的造镇运动和城市建设，放大了房地产需求。二是现在信贷利率较低，贷款获得比原来容易，放大了需求贷款投资的拉动。三是民间投资起来后，其市场行为也会带有一定的盲目性。所以，形象工程、高档住宅、圈地造镇等投资应控制，而对产品有市场、能吸纳就业的中小企业，以及第三产业的投资应受到政策的推动。



第三，从消费内部结构看，要有控有扩。对于公款吃喝、公款旅游、各种会议等消费要控，要继续增收节支。而对于农民、城镇低收入者的收入和消费还要努力扩大，要知道这才是经济持续增长的原动力。第四，从地区结构看，也要有控有扩。要考虑地区发展的不平衡，有过热苗头的地方要控，而西部和老工业基地要继续扩大投资。



分析：本段是上一段的继续，前面讲了一个层次，这里讲了三个层次：投资内部结构、消费内部结构和地区结构。本文的大意是，从这三个结构看，发展是不平衡的，因此要有控有扩。从投资内部结构看，有三个方面必须加以控制，有两个方面必须有所扩大；从消费内部结构看，用公款消费必须予以控制，农民和城镇低收入者的消费必须努力扩大；从地区结构看，投资过热的地区要加以控制，西部地区和老工业基地的投资要继续扩大。根据上面的分析，我们先用传统的方式对原文的意义进行局部重组并试译如下：



Translation 1:Translation 1: Secondly, looked from the internal structure of investment, both restriction and expansion are necessary. At present, in the conduction of consumption demands to investment demands, the effects are magnified. Specifically speaking, in three aspects of investment, the effects are magnified. An example is the blind investment expansion of localities. In some areas, construction of towns and cities has surpassed the practical construction capacity. Hence the demands for real estates are magnified. Another example is that the interests are rather low and it is easy to obtain loans.



In this sense, the demands for investment through loaning are magnified. Still another example is that the investment from private sources is on a rise. This marketing action is to some extent blind. Therefore, the investment for image projects, for the construction of luxurious apartments and for the construction of towns by occupying cultivable land should be restricted. At the same time, the investment for production of goods that have markets, for medium and small businesses that can employ more labor and for the development of third industries should by encouraged by policy.



Thirdly, looked from the structure of consumption, restrictions and expansions should also be necessary. Such consumptions as extravagantly spending public finds on eating and drinking, spending public funds for tours and excursions, and spending public funds for meetings, conferences and symposiums should be restricted. We should continue to increase our gains and reduce our expenditures. The income and consumption of farmers, the low incomers of cities and towns, should be expanded. We should know that this is the sources of the driving power for sustainable economic development.



Fourthly, looked from the internal structure of districts and regions, there should be restrictions and expansions. We should take into account the unbalanced development in terms of region. The areas whose investment demands tend to overgrow should be restricted while the investment for West China and for the areas that have been serving as bases for traditional industries should continue to be expanded.



上段基本上是传统翻译，只是在局部地方进行了一点微调。例如，将一是、二是、三是译成了 an example is, another example is, still another example is ，盲目扩张的冲动没有死译等，其他地方都是照字面翻译的，有些地方甚至有死译之嫌。例如，将要有控有扩直译成both restrictions and expansions are necessary ，将传导直译成 conduction ，将放大直译成magnify等。为使译文更符合英语规范，现对之作进一步调整，并试译如下：



Translation 2:Translation 2:Secondly, in terms of the internal structure of investment, it is necessary to impose restrictions on some demands while others should be encouraged. Necessary restrictions should be imposed because at present, the stimulation of consumption to investment is exaggerated. In this aspect, the following are three specific cases in point. First, some governments invest money for their urbanization construction blindly. For instance, in some places, movements of the construction of towns and cities are in full swing. However, such construction is actually beyond their means, hence the manifestation of the exaggeration of the demands for real estates.



Another case in point is that the low interest loan policy has stimulated unnecessary loaning, hence the overstimulation to the demands for investment through loaning. A third case in point is the increase of private investment, an investment blind to some extent, though conducted by marketing mechanism. Therefore, restriction should be imposed on the investment for the construction of image projects, for the construction of luxurious apartments, and for the blind construction or expansion of towns by occupying cultivable land. Nevertheless, priority should be granted to the development of policies for investment for the sake of development and expansion of the production of such goods that sell well, for the construction and expansion of medium and small enterprises that can employ more laid-offs and for the construction and expansion of third industries.



Thirdly, in terms of the internal structure of consumption, restrictions should be imposed on some areas while expansions should be encouraged in others. Specifically speaking, restrictions should be imposed on spending public funds on eating and drinking, tourism, and conventions and conferences while continuing to strive for more economic gains in addition to cutting down unnecessary expenditures. The incomes for farmers and the low incomers in cities and towns should be increased and their consumptions should be encouraged. It is necessary to be aware that in these fields lie the sources of the driving power for sustainable economic growth.



Fourthly, in terms of the structure of region, restriction should be imposed on the investment for some while expansion should be encouraged for the investment for others. Consideration should be taken into of the unbalanced development in terms of region. Specifically speaking, restriction should be imposed on places where the demands for investment have overgrown while priority should continue to be granted for the investment in West China and the areas that serve as the bases for traditional industries.



与上一段相比，本段翻译有许多变化。例如，将有控有扩译成it is necessary to impose restrictions on some demands while others should be encouraged ，将扩大了译成 exaggeration 、 stimulation等。此外，由于加入了 however, therefore, nevertheless, specifically speaking等连接词语和意义层次信号词语，使各个意义层次的内部层次更加明晰，上下文更为连贯。从微观上看，译文较前译有许多改进。例如，第二句增加了 restrictions should be imposed because ，使之与第一句紧密相连；第三句增加了 in this aspect 使之与第二句相衔接，增加了 the following 使之与后文相衔接，等等。上述宏观与微观调整手段的使用，增强了译文的效果，结果从总体上看，译文虽然讲的是中国事，但读上去有点像写作。（本节中的汉语例子均选自《光明日报》、《检察日报》等报纸，具体的报纸名称、日期和版面现已无法确定，特表歉意。）

第三章 现代汉语段落英译

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第三章现代汉语段落英译