As a result everyone must play a role

Role: an outline of acceptable behaviors that help to regulate the family and imply rules for appropriate behavior

Some people hold multiple roles simultaneously

Parenting: Father or Mother

Son Daughter Sister Brother Grandparent

Every Role Has…◦expectations◦rights or

privileges◦responsibilities

Family Needs:◦ Wage earner◦ Childcare◦ House work

Past Experiences: ◦ What is expected of a mother or father from one

generation to the next.◦ If in your parents both work, it is likely in your family

both parents will work Changes outside and within the family role

◦ Unemployment◦ Divorce◦ Death of a spouse◦ As a child matures, more may be expected of them

Instrumental roles are concerned with the provision of physical resources (e.g., food, clothing, and shelter), decision-making, and family management.

Affective roles exist to provide emotional support and encouragement to family members.

Both sets of roles must be present for healthy family functioning

Providing resources, such as… Money Food Clothing Shelter

Includes providing… Comfort Warmth reassurance for

family members Support Encouragement

Examples: a parent

comforting a child after he/she has a bad day at school

Family members supporting one another after the death of a loved one.

Includes Physical Emotional Educational Social

development

Examples of this role are a parent

helping a child make it through school

A parent helping a young adult child decide on a career path.

Involves many tasks, including… Leadership Decision making Handling family finances, Maintaining appropriate roles with respect

to extended family, friends and neighbors. Maintaining discipline Enforcing behavioral standards.

We may get new roles Lose a Role

◦ May be by choice or not◦ May graduate college/new job◦ When a child grows up no longer a kid

Adapt Roles◦ To make them fit◦ May have to expand yourself to fit the role◦ Expand the role to fit you

Conflict between the roles one plays◦ wife v. mother role

Conflict within a role:◦ Mother wants to be nurturing, but sometimes

you have to let your kids fall Conflicts between roles of different people:

◦ Mother v. grandmother◦ Wife v. mother-in-law◦ Parent v. child

Some Roles hold more Power Some roles cause more stress than others

◦ Some can be good and serve as motivation◦ Some can be harmful

Some people reject the roles they are given◦ this may be because we don’t allow them to

deviate from what is expected from the role Sometimes you need to assume someone

else’s roles to understand them better◦ “walk in someone else’s shoes”

Every role needs to know what is expected of them

Expectations should be clear and realistic

Their Responsibilities should match their skills and abilities

Make sure everyone has a chance to grow and reach their potential

Sometimes people don’t fulfill their roles By neglecting their roles they affect

everyone in the family May be due to a stressful event:

unemployment, illness, accident Sometimes other will help them to full fill

the role or they may take over the role as their own

But some people interpret their roles differently, this is how we come up such a wide variety of parenting styles and discipline techniques.

Most parent can be classified into three main types by the style in which they guide their children. As we discuss each, think about where your own parents fits most appropriately. Do each of your parents use the same style? Do you fit the outcome?

Parents’ word is law, parents have absolute control.

Misconduct is punished Affection and praise are rarely give Parents try to control children's’ behavior

and attitudes They value unquestioned obedience Children are told what to do, how to do it,

and where to do it, and when to do it.

Obedient Distrustful Discontent Withdrawn Unhappy Hostile Not High

Achievers Often Rebel

Children from authoritarian homes are so strictly controlled, either by punishment or guilt, that they are often prevented from making a conscious choice about particular behavior because they are overly concerned about what their parents will do.

Parents allow their children to do their own thing.

Little respect for order and routine. Parents make few demands on children. Impatience is hidden. Discipline is lax Parents are resources rather than

standard makers Rarely punish Non controlling, non-demanding Usually warm Children walk all over the parents

Aggressive Least self—

reliant Least self-

controlled Least

exploratory Most

unhappy

Children from permissive homes receive so little guidance that they often become uncertain and anxious about whether they are doing the right thing.

Middle ground between the two above Stress freedom along with rights of

others and responsibilities of all Parents set limits and enforce rules Willing to listen receptively to child’s

requests and questions. Both loves and limits Children contribute to discussion of

issues and make some of their own decisions

Exert firm control when necessary, but explain reasoning behind it.

Respect children’s interest, opinions, unique personalities.

Loving, consistent, demanding Combine control with encouragement Reasonable expectations and realistic

standards.

Happy Mostly self-

reliant Mostly self-

controlled Content,

friendly, generous

Cooperative High-achiever’ Less likely to be

seriously disruptive or delinquent

Children whose parents expect them to perform well, to fulfill commitments, and to participate actively in family duties, as well as family fun, learn how to formulate goals. They also experience the satisfaction that comes from meeting responsibilities and achieving success.

Review the parenting style notes we took last class. Answer the following three questions.

Which parenting style do you believe your parents exemplify? Why?

Do they both share the same parenting style?

What advice would you give your parents to improve their parenting style?

Get into groups of with students who share your number

Look at the card you have been given For the given parenting style, develop a skit

or written scenario that may be applied to the parenting style.

You have 10 minutes to do this. Once everyone is done you will read or act

out your scenario for the class.

Using different methods and techniques to teach children self control

Children learn to act in ways that are socially acceptable

Guidance and Discipline will help a child to guide themselves and act in safe and acceptable ways.

Power assertion: when parents use or threaten to use physical punishment◦ It works because the child fears the adult◦ As grow older no longer works, for fear is based on

being caught and punished.◦ Thus they weigh the chances of being caught and

the likely punishment◦ They are not guided by what is right or wrong◦ Children may also react in a physically aggressive

manner with other children, and not understand why it is inappropriate

◦ Parents are also acting out of anger and could become abusive

◦ If this method is used on a child they are more likely to use the same method as a parent

Love Withdrawal◦ Technique in which the parents threaten children

or suggest some form of parent/child separation◦ Some parents tell their children that they do not

love them or are going to give them away◦ May give the child the silent treatment◦ Creates stress and prevents the child from

expressing their feelings

Induction:◦Parents discipline by reasoning and explaining

◦Explain why they should or should not do certain behaviors

◦Children show better self control, display more concern for other, and take responsibilities for their own failures