The Liftle Green Monsterby Haruki Murakami

-translated by Jay Rubin

My husband left for work as usual, and Icouldn t think of anything to do. I sat alonein the chair by the window staring out at thegarden through the gap between the curtains.Not that I had any reason to be looking atthe garden: There was nothing else for me todo. And I thought that sooner or later, if I satthere looking,I might think of something.Of al1the many things in the garden, the oneI looked at most was the oak tree. It was myspecial favorite. I had planted it when I was alitle girl, and watched it grow. I thought of itas my old friend.I talked to it all the time inmy head.

That day, too,I was probably talking to theoak tree-I don t remember what about. And Idon t know how long I was sitting there. Thetime slips by when I'm looking at the garden.It was dark before I knew it: I must have beenthere quite a while. Then, all at once,I hearda sound.It came from somewhere far away-afunny, muffled sort of rubbing sort of sound.At first I thought it was coming from a placedeep inside me, that I was hearing things-awarning from the dark cocoon my body wasspinning within. I held my breath and lis-tened.Yes. No doubt about it. Little by little,the sound was moving closer to me. What wasit? I had no idea. But it made my flesh creep.

The ground near the base of the tree beganto bulge upward as if some thick, heavy liquidwere rising to the surface. Again I caught mybreath. Then the ground broke open and themounded earth crumbled away to reveal a setof sharp claws. My eyes locked onto them, andmy hands turned into clenched fists. Some-thing's going to happen,I said to myself It'sstarting now. The claws scraped hard at thesoil, and soon the break in the earth was an

open hole, from which there crawled a littlegreen monster.

Its body was covered with shining greenscales. As soon as it emerged from the hole, itshook itself until the bits of soil clinging to itdropped away.It had a long, funny nose, thegreen of which gradually deepened toward thetip. The very end was narrow and pointed asa whip, but the beast's eyes were exactly likea human's. The sight of them sent a shiverthrough me. They showed feelings, just likeyour eyes or mine.

Without hesitation, but moving slowly anddeliberately, the monster approached my frontdoor, on which it began to knock with theslender tip of its nose. The dry, rapping soundechoed through the house.I tiptoed to theback room, hoping the beast would not realizeI was there. I couldn t scream. Ours is the onlyhouse in the area, and my husband wouldn'tbe coming back from work until late at night.I couldn t run out the back door, either, sincemy house has only the one door, the very oneon which a horribie green monster was nowknocking.I breathed as quietly as I could,pretending not to be there, hoping the thingwould give up and go away. But it didn t giveup. Its nose went from knocking to gropingat the lock.It seemed to have no troubie at allclicking the lock open, and then the door itselfopened a crack.Around the edge of the doorcrept the nose, and then it stopped. For a longtime it stayed still,like a snake with its headraised, checking conditions in the house.If Ihad known this was going to happen,I couldhave stayed by the door and cut the nose off, Itold myself: The kitchen had plenty of sharpknives. No sooner had the thought occurredto me than the crealure moved past the edge

of the door, smiling, as if it had read my mind.Then it spoke, not with a stutter, but repeatingcertain words as if it were still trying to learnthem. It wouldn t have done you any good, anygood, the little green monster said. My nose islike a lizard's tail.It always grows back stron-ger and longer, stronger and longer.Youd getjust the opposite of what what you want want.Then it spun its eyes for a long time,like twoweird tops.

Oh, no,I thought to myself Can it readpeopie's minds? I hate to have anyone knowwhat I'm thinking-especially when thatsomeone is a horrid and inscrutable linlecreature like this. I broke out in a cold sweatfrom head to foot. What was this thing goingto do to me? Eat me? Take me down into theearth? Oh, well, at least it wasn't so ugly that Icouldn t stand looking at it. That was good. Ithad slender, pink little arms and legs juttingout from its green-scaled body and long clawsat the ends of its hands and feet. They were a1-

most darling, the more I looked at them.AndI could see, too, that the creature meant me noharm.

Of course not, it said to me, cocking itshead.Its scales clicked against one anotherwhen it moved-like crammed together cof,fee cups raftling on a table when you nudgeit. What a terrible thought, madam: Of courseI wouldn t eat you. No no no.I mean you noharm, no harm, no harm. So I was right Itknew exactly what I was thinking.

Madam madam madam, dontyou see?

Don t you see? I've come here to propose toyou. From deep deep deep down deep downdeep.I had to crawl all the way up here uphere up.Awful, itwas awful,I had to dig anddig and dig. Look at how it ruined my claws! Icould never have done this if I meant you anyharm, any harm, any harm.I love you.I loveyou so much I couldn t stand it anymore downdeep down deep. I crawled my way up to you,

I had to, I had to. They all tried to stop me, butI couldn t stand it anymore.And think of thecourage that it took, please, took. What if youthought it was rude and presumptuous, rudeand presumptuous, for a creature like me topropose to you?

But it is rude and presumpfuous,I said inmy mind.What a rude little creature you areto come seeking my love!

A look of sadness came over the monster'sface as soon as I thought this, and its scalestook on a purple tinge, as if to express what itwas feeling.Its entire body seemed to shrinka little, too.I folded my arms to watch thesechanges occurring. Maybe something likethis would happen whenever its feeiings al-tered.And maybe its awful-looking exteriormasked a heart that was as soft and vulnerableas a brand-new marshmallow.If so,I knew Icould win. I decided to give it a try. You arean ugly litrle monster, you know I shouted inmy mind's loudest voice-so loud it made myheart reverberate. You are an ugly little mon-ster! The purple of the scales grew deeper, andthe thing's eyes began to buige as if they weresucking in all the hatred I was sending them.They protruded from the creature's face likeripe green figs, and tears like red juice randown from them, splattering on the floor.

I wasn t afraid of the monster anymore.Ipainted pictures in my mind of all the cruelthings I wanted to do to it.I tied it down toa heavy chair with thick wires, and with aneedle-nose pliers I began ripping out itsscales at the roots, one by one.I heated thepoint of a sharp knife, and with it I cut deepgrooves in the soft pink flesh of its calves.Over and over,I stabbed a hot soldering ironinto the bulging figs of its eyes.With eachnew torture I imagined for it, the monsterwould lurch and writhe and wail in agony asif those things were actually happening to it.It wept its colored tears and oozed thick gobs

of liquid onto the floor, emitting a gray vaporfrom its ears that had the fragrance of roses.Its eyes sent an unnerving glare of reproachat me. Please, madam, oh please,I beg ofyou,don t think such terrible thoughts! it cried. Ihave no evil thoughts for you. I would neverharm you. All I feel for you is love, is love. ButI refused to listen. In my mind, I said, Don t beridiculous!You crawled out of my garden.Youunlocked my door without permission.Youcame inside my house. I never asked you here.I have the right to think anything I want to.And I continued to do exactly that-thinkingat the crealure increasingly terrible thoughts.I cut and tormented its flesh with every ma-chine and tool I could think of, overlookingno method that might exist to torture a livingbeing and make it writhe in pain. See, then,you liule monster,you have no idea what awoman is. There's no end to the number ofthings I can think of to do to you. But soon themonster's outlines began to fade, and even itsstrong green nose shriveled up until it was nobigger than a worm, Writhing on the floor, themonster tried to move its mouth and speak tome, struggling to open its lips as if it wanted toleave me some final message, to convey someancient wisdom, some crucial bit of knowl-edge that it had forgotlen to impart to me.Before that could happen, the mouth attaineda painful stillness, and soon it went out of fo-cus and disappeared. The monster now iookedlike nothing more than a pale evening shadow.A11 that remained, suspended in the air, wereits mournful, bloated eyes. That won t do anygood,I thought to it.You can look all you want,but you can t say a thing.You can't do a thing.Your existence is over, finished, done. Soon theeyes dissolved into emptiness, and the roomfilled with the darkness of night.