Revisions for First Rough Draft!

:)

Materials needed: Draft, colored pens/pencils, highlighters.

Directions: You will switch papers clockwise, meaning to your right. If you

get your paper, switch again.

You will be asked to complete a different task each time you see a slide!

Counting sentences

✖ Circle the first capital letter in each sentence.

✖ Circle the end punctuation. ✖ Count the number of sentences total

and write it at the bottom of the first page.

You should know at this point that the greatest movie of all time is The Lion King.

1 Sentence

Count the words in each sentence. Write the number on top of each sentence. You have now given the writer an idea as to how many fragments and run ons are in their paper.

THESIS SENTENCERead the first paragraph and try to identify the thesis sentence.

It should only be one sentence!!! Highlight the thesis sentence. Remember the formula:

Stance + 3 Reasons = THESIS SENTENCE

Bad Thesis Sentence

College should be free.

I think college should be free. It costs a lot. It’s expensive. You don’t get no job.

Colleges shouldn’t be free, because people are lazy. They won’t try hard.

Good Thesis Sentence

Vaccinations should not be mandatory for school aged children, because current studies indicate the dosage is too high for young children, pharmaceutical companies are biased in their studies due to profit margins, and the side effects are too dangerous of a risk for young children.

If you can’t find a thesis sentence, THERE PROBABLY ISN’T ONE!

Quotes!Is there one quote in

paragraphs 2, 3, and 4?Write “missing quote” next to each paragraph

in need of textual evidence.

We will work in depth over proper MLA citation next week.

2.Topic Sentence

Read only paragraph two (2). What is the paragraph about? Highlight the topic sentence. If

you can’t tell, then there isn’t one!

Rinse, repeat. (We will switch papers twice.)

Read paragraph 3. Look for the topic sentence. Highlight it.

Read paragraph 4. Look for the topic sentence. Highlight it.

Don’t highlight a random sentence to make the writer feel better! They need the truth to improve

their essay.

To Be VerbsCircle all “to be” verbs: is, am, are, was, were, be, being, and been. Include contractions: I’m and It’s. Count them and WRITE the number at the top of the paper.

DO NOT CIRCLE TO BE VERBS FROM DIRECT QUOTES.

Goal: eliminate this number by half.

Dead Word List

Find the following words or phrases. Place a big X over them. Remove them. Dead words in essays are like zombies. And all zombies should be destroyed.

“there is,” “there are,” “it is,” “it was”, “I”, “me”, “my”, “mine”,

“we”, “us”, “our”, “ours”, “you”, “your”, “yours”, “very”, “like”,

“a lot”, “many”, “thing”, “things”, “stuff”,“really”

Look for these three words

ItDraw a triangle around each of them.

They or ThemWhenever possible be specific.

Their or They’reAlso, while you’re at it look for the word “that.” Draw a triangle around it. Remove it whenever possible.

Almost DoneQuick break. Let’s discuss what we’ve noticed

so far as I pass out index cards.

Want big impactEdit & Revise your essay.

Read the Conclusion

Is there a counter

argument?Yes No

If you find a counterargument underline it. If no sentences are underlined, it indicates your reader can’t tell what your counter argument is. Next to the conclusion write two comments. What did you like about the counter argument? What did you not like?

Read the essay backwards!

Draw a sad face :( next to any misspelled words.

Read the essayWe will do this twice.

NegativeWrite in the margin, one thing they need to improve.

PositiveWrite in the margins one thing the writer did well.

Index card

Look at your thesis sentence. Revise it on the index card.

Now look over your work. What is the one area you

need to work on the most?

Credits

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