 relationship issues  intermarriage  same-sex marriage  infidelity  spousal violence...

Download  Relationship Issues  Intermarriage  Same-Sex Marriage  Infidelity  Spousal Violence  Divorce

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Chapter Eight Relationship Issues & Trends

Chapter Eight Relationship Issues & TrendsRelationship Issues Intermarriage Same-Sex Marriage Infidelity Spousal Violence Divorce

Top 10 Characteristics that people want in a PartnerHonesty Kindness Respect Compatibility Humour Dependability Love Values Religious Commonality Communication

Top 8 Reasons People MarryFeeling that marriage signifies commitment Moral values Belief that children should have married parents It is the natural thing to do Financial security Religious beliefs Pressure from family Pressure from friends

Source: Reginald Bibby, A Canadian Hopes & Dreams, published by the Vanier Institute of the Family, 2004

Top 5 Reasons Why Couples DivorceDifferent values & beliefs Abuse physical & emotional Alcohol & drugs Infidelity Career-related conflict Source: Reginald Bibby, A Canadian Hopes & Dreams, published by the Vanier Institute of the Family, 2004

Why Couples are Breaking Up?By Donna McCloskey (Transition Dec. 1997) Why are couples breaking up? Do your own thing individualism has eroded the sanctity of marriage Married too young Knowing you partner for only a short time before marriage Women earning their money

What happens to people who divorce? 15 yrs after the divorce, couples are still not settle, not happy More complicated, more depleting, more lonely than they expect Decline in the standard of living Many women are far behind their ex-husband in terms of education & job experience most never catch up Non-custodial father finds his role in his childrens lives somewhat diminished Divorced man has a larger pool of potential mates than the divorced women Women are more likely to report psychological symptoms, far more men received repeated or long-term psychiatric hospitalization More divorced men kill themselves than divorced womenWhat about the kids? Children are more affected by ongoing fights, lower standard of living, a move to a new Neighborhood or mommys or daddys new friend that by the divorce per se

Preschoolers plagued by nightmares, teens 3x more likely to be in psychological counseling, 5x more likely to be suspended or expelled from school

As adults, many avoid intimacy because they fear abandonment, less likely to earn a good income and are more likely to get divorced themselves

What can we do about divorce? Two-tiered system that would make it harder for parents to get a divorce

Make divorce counseling or courses mandatory before you can get a divorce

Increase public awareness using the radio, TV to encourage divorcing parents to cooperate in the best interest of their children Offer more and better courses on how to have a good marriage

Intensive marriage education in high school

More people should have access to subsidized counseling through employee assistance plans

Divorce in CanadaFew countries do not permit divorce There are no written laws on divorce among Natives prior to European arrival Between 1867 & 1968, the only effective ground for divorce was adultery Canadian laws derived from English common law where a double law existedBecause divorce was difficult to obtain: Some sought it in Mexico or USA Some fabricated adultery Some simply separated

Divorce Act 1968Grounds included: Addiction to drugs, alcohol Desertion for not less than 5 years Separation for not less than 3 years Marital offence adultery, physical, mental, cruelty Divorce rate in Canada lower than in UK, USA Median age for divorce has declined Average length of marriage for those seeking divorce is 10.7 years - 1985 Rates are highest in Alberta & BC and lowest in NFLD & PEI

Divorce Act 1985Grounds included: Mental or physical cruelty Adultery Living separate for 1 year

Divorce FactsMore than 30% of marriages end in divorce The older you are when you marry the more likely you are stay married Average age of males & females at the time of divorce was 39, 37 Federal law must reside in province 1 year before filing Can file immediately if adultery or abuse involved Spousal support is based on level of income, length of marriage and is payable if, as a consequence of the divorce, there is an economic difference between parties could be 5 year of lifetime depending on many factors Must equalize assets that each party is receiving half

Impact of Divorce on Children40% of children have a difficult time bouncing back scarred, resentful Gender & age of child are influencing factors Children cant take severe, prolonged conflict on a continuing basis Children need to feel assurance that its not their fault Boys are more prone to acting out, behavior problems Girls typically turn inward with distrust, become overly dependent on male

Divorce is good for parents and bad for children have to mourn and rebuild Custody & access regulated by Childrens Law Reform Act Children from divorced homes were lower in self-esteem, school performance, confidence in their future As adults many avoid intimacy because they fear abandonment Report low levels of satisfaction with leisure activities, friendship and family life More likely to get divorced themselves