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Afflictive Emotionsand the Job Search

Westford Networking Group

Dan DeMaioNewton & Christal DionneApril 13, 2011

Afflictive Emotions Associated with the Job Seeker Life Cycle

WorkingWorking Lost JobLost Job ReorientationReorientation Job SearchJob Search HiredHired

Worry about losing job

Stress of work

Relationship challenges

Bad boss/culture

Am I doing what I’m here for?

Maintaining non-work relationships

Work/life balance

Anger Upset Loss Disorientation Change of routine/habits Blow to Self-esteem Identification issues Loss of social network Loss of resources Stigma of joining the stigmatized

Suffering of change New habits New networks & reconnection to untended networks Learning & Adopting New Activities Job Search Strategy Job Search Activities Encouragement

Anger Worry Frustration Anxiety Depression Stress Disappointment Failure Low Self Esteem Poor habits Judging self and others Shame Guilt Fear

Relief Joy/Pleasure Excitement Change of routine/habits New social network Anxiety Keeping what’s important

Loss Suffering of change

Lesson 1: Things are not as they appear.

Lesson 2: Our minds actively create our reality

The Ladder of Inference

The Two World Views of Job Seekers

Exercise 1: This too shall pass.

Exercise 2: Change Your Mind

Exercise 3: Change Your Situation

Lesson 3: The World has already Accepted You.

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

-- Frank Outlaw

Exercise 4: Develop Good Habits(and try to avoid bad habits)

Who is the Better Teacher?

Lesson 4: Problems are of enormous benefit.

No matter what problem I face

I won’t be irritated by them.

I won’t see any circumstance as an obstacle.

I’ll regard them as positive(Repeat every morning and during the day as necessary)

Exercise 5: Set Your Attitude

8 World Views Lead to Suffering

Pleasure Gain Fame Praise

Pain Loss Disrepute Blame

Exercise 6: Be Like the Mountainand Abandon All World Views.

Exercise: Write Your Obituary

Roz Savage✦ 33 Years Old, Married, Mortgage

✦ Living the Rat Race

✦ 11 Years as Management Consultant

✦ Knew from Day 1 - Not the Career for Her

✦ Stopgap until Figured It All Out

•Wrote Her Own Obituary– Version 1: One that I Wanted

• Risk Takers whose lives were filled with

spectacular successes and failures

– Version 2: One Heading For• The type you wouldn’t want to read in the

paper

Exercise: Write Your Obituary

Tonglen Taking and Sending

Final Pearls of Wisdom

•All Happiness comes from thinking of others. All suffering comes from thinking of one’s self.

•If something can be done, there is no need to worry. If nothing can be done, there is no need to worry. In all circumstances worrying is not helpful.

•Afflictive emotions are like clouds – they may be strong when upon you, but they too will pass.