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Sarah Williams, Educational Psychologist

26th October 2009

The Importance of Nurturing Relationships

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Outline of Today’s workshop

What is a ‘nurturing relationship’…Introduction to Attachment TheoryThe development of Secure

AttachmentWhat can go wrong and why?Attachment, Trauma and LossWhat can schools do to promote

nuturing relationships

What do Children and Young People need for Healthy

Development?What to we already know?……

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What do children and young people need for healthy

development?Security Nurturing Trusting Routine

Permission to express themselves GuidanceRules

Positive Role Models Good Self Esteem Peers

Predictability Stimulation ProtectionFriends

Fun Interaction Play Empathy Warmth

Continuity Boundaries Families Continuity

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Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

The Secure Attachment Process

Attachment in Practice (DVD)

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Attachment – What is it?

A special kind of bond or tie which is formed between a baby and his/ her primary carer(s).

The person that an infant bonds to in this way is known as an “Attachment Figure”, usually, but not always, the biological parent (mother) or parents.

 

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Healthy Attachment Cycle

                                         

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Internal Working Model

Children who have warm, satisfying early relationships are more likely to have a positive sense of self and more likely to

make close and lasting relationships with others.

Main & Cassidy 1988

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Secure Attachment

ReciprocityContainmentSecurityEffective attunementSolid foundation for Learning & DevelopmentFacilitates self-esteem & positive relationships with othersGiving & receiving empathyResilience in coping with distressing situations

What can go wrong and why?

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What Can Go Wrong and Why?

Parent and Child Predisposing Factors

Overt parental conflict/ domestic violenceFamily BreakdownInconsistent discipline between parentsHostile and rejecting relationshipsAbuse – physical, sexual or emotionalNeglectParental criminality, substance misuse (drugs, alcohol)Mental Illness in the FamilyPost natal depressionChild with ASN e.g. autism

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Trauma and Loss

Separation from primary caregiverChanges in Primary caregiverFrequent Moves or placementsTraumatic experiences e.g.bereavementMaternal depressionBirth TraumaMaternal AddictionDivorce, separationLack of attunment between mother/ childYoung inexperienced mother with poor parenting skills

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Trauma

Psychological trauma leading to mental disorder is defined as:

“An event which is, or is realistically perceived to be, threatening to the life or personal integrity of self or others”

And“ – the reaction is one of fear, helplessness or horror”

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Recovery from Traumatic Stress

Most children, most of the time, recover spontaneously from traumatic stress. For them to do so 3 conditions must be met:SafetyAble to express what has happened to themBe part of a secure social network with well-formed attachment relationships

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Disturbed Attachment Cycle

                                              

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Insecure Attachment in Children/ Young People

These children may have difficulties with:• Interacting with the environment• Regulating stress and impulse adequately• Engaging with others and their environment• Experiencing empathy• Expressing emotions• Establishing trust-based relationships• Making adjustments about the trustworthiness of

others• Distinguishing between types and degrees of

relationships• Forming close and intimate relationships.

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What can we do in school to promote Secure Attachment?

The Qualities of the Skilled Helper

School as a Safe Base

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Intervention by Teachers

“The teacher perception of the pupil shapes and mediates the contact between them and profoundly affects the teacher’s efforts to engage and motivate

the pupil” (Libber 1989)

“Both pupil and teacher bring to the learning situation experiences from the past and

expectations that are both helpful and destructive, derived from a history of experiences and

relationships of which neither might be consciously aware”

(Wittenberg et al., 1983)

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Understanding Attachment – Offering a Secure Base

“Dependency is the pre-condition for independence …a measure of relative dependency can thus be helpful for learning”(Greenhalgh, 1994)

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Characteristics of a Key Person– Additional Attachment Figure

Able to form and maintain a supportive and friendly relationship with child/young personContinuity of relationship (but not over dependence)Emotionally and physically available Sensitive/ responsive to child/ young person’s needsEmpatheticAble to provide nurture and structureAble to contain and regulate emotional states (own and child/young person)Robust and resilientCalmTenaciousResourceful and adaptable

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Teachers and Resilience

“Human relationships are the heart of schooling. The interactions that take place between students and teachers and among

students are more central to student success than any method of teaching literacy, science

or maths. When powerful relationships are established between teachers and students, these relationships frequently can transcend

economic and social disadvantages.

(Cummins 1996)

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TASK

Think of a person in school who made a positive impact on you.

Share your memory

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Characteristics of School as a Secure Base”

Respect regardless of skills/difficultiesFor young people:A safe adequately supervised buildingSensitivity to what is being communicated through behaviourRoutinesFast responses to absenceConsistent rules and expectationsFamiliar long term relationshipsModelling of good relationships from the adultsInformed reflection about incidentsA fair system of disciplinary procedures

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Characteristics of School as a Secure Base”

For staff:Strong leadership that listens to staff and can be relied on for consistent & available supportRespect for the physical comfort of staffA capacity to reflect on difficulties rather than reactMutual support and collaborationA common language and framework for understanding pupil behaviourA regular forum for reviewing difficulties in a reliable supportive group

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School as a Secure BasePromoting a sense in child/ young person that they have relationship(s) with significant people available to them and have a supportive environment.

Interventions mirror the functions of a secure attachment relationship that acts to reduce anxiety and to promote healthy exploration and learning in the child/ young person at every stage of their development.Attachment to a person who values the young person for his/ her intrinsic qualities will facilitate the development of good self esteem.

The young person who has a basic sense of security is mpore likely to feel that they can attempt new tasks and explore the environment in the search for mastery and later incorporate these positive experiences in to confident self- identity

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Attachment

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.““Pooh?Pooh?”” he whispered.he whispered.““Yes Piglet?Yes Piglet?””““Nothing,Nothing,”” said Piglet, taking Poohsaid Piglet, taking Pooh’’s paw.s paw.““I just wanted to be sure of you.I just wanted to be sure of you.””