Ten creative uses for

an empty Patron bottle

1. Classy decanter

The perfect complement to your collection of Lalique, Baccarat, and Waterford. Or decanting that bottle of plonk you’ve been saving for a special occasion.

2. Designer flower vase

Blends perfectly

with both

traditional and

modern decors.

Guaranteed to

make you the envy

of all your friends!

3. Second-chance candle snuffer

Ever snuff a candle

and then regret

doing so? This user-

friendly device

ensures you have

almost 20 seconds in

which to change

your mind!

4. No-skid doorstop

Why look for an

old brick when you

already have this

beautiful,

machine-crafted

objet d’art?

5. Scissor-holder desk accessory

Tired of always

searching for your

scissors? This is

the ideal way to

keep your desktop

organized.

6. Cost-effective tuba mute

Too much oomph

in your om-pa-pa?

Tuba mutes are

scarce these days,

so why search

eBay when you can

easily bottle up

your tooting?

7. Heavy-duty windchime

Just the thing during hurricanes and typhoons. And beautiful to look at, too, when winds and gusts are under 70mph! Tunable using either water or cheap tequila.

8. Ergonomic gardening stool

Balancing on this

stool lets your

body find its own

center of gravity,

reducing lumbar

pressure to reduce

skeletomuscular

pain.

9. Home condom inflater

Inflating a condom used to require the services of a skilled professional. Now you can easily do it at home! Just put a little water in the bottle, slip on the condom, boil gently in a pot and voilá!

10. Never-fail flyswatter

100% effective

when correctly

applied.

Dedicated to

The Texas Tequila Queens

Copyright © 2014, Eric L. Reiss. All rights (and lefts) reserved.

(but who the hell would want to copy this anyway?)