10 Stupid Food Hacks and a

Blatantly Obvious One!

I am all for good ideas that will save time, make cooking easier ormeals better but some of the so called hacks I have been seeingrecently are bizarre!

Here are 11 that I am totally hacked off with!

1. Halve little grape or cherry tomatoes by placing them between two plastic lids.

Press down the top lid and gently slicethrough the tomatoes. Yogurt lids aresuggested for this.

How many tomatoes can you do at atime with a pair of yogurt lids? Ten-ish?How long does it take? I think it wouldbe quicker, easier and safer to cut 10 orso little tomatoes in half with a knifethan try to hold them in place betweentwo lids and slide a knife between.

Is it really beyond people to do this 10times?

2. Use a Panini Maker to Make OmelettesWell really! A panini maker will just result in some cooked egg which is nothing like the light moist dish deserving of the name “omelette”.

This is how to make an omelette …

~ Break 2 or 3 fresh eggs into a bowl (you’d have to do this with a panini maker too).

~ Season and lightly beat together just to break the whites into the yolks, there is no need to whisk till fully amalgamated (same for a panini maker but I think it would need to be fully whisked).

~ Melt a knob of butter in a non-stick frying pan (or grease your panini maker)

~ When the butter has melted and starts to foam swirl it about the pan and pour in the eggs.

~ Allow to sit over the heat for a few seconds and when you see the edges start to solidify gently lift them with a spatula, tilt the pan and encourage the runny egg on top to flow to the side of the pan and under the cooked egg.

~ Keep doing this till the top of the omelette is merely moist.

~ Add any fillings and fold one half of the omelette over the other.

~ Slide onto a warm plate.

3. Squeeze lemons with tongs – why?

Hands are a great tool for squeezing lemons (useful ‘hack’ – wiggle your clean fingers in the cavity of the fruit to squeeze out every drop).

Purpose made lemon juicers work perfectly, of course, they get all the juice and they catch the pips.

Tongs - I’ve just tried doing this and found it tricky,uncontrollably squirty and ridiculous.

My findings …

4. Two suggestions for “coping” with butternut squash

i) “Use a mallet to tap your knife into the squash” –this sounds dangerous to me.

ii) “To avoid ‘hours of terror’ before preparing a squash and “many excruciating minutes” cutting it, prick it with a fork and put in the microwave for a few minutes first.” That might help and is certainly preferable to bashing a knife with a mallet!

Alternatively just a large sharp knife for cutting and a smaller sharp knife or potato peeler for peeling will do the job nicely, read on …

~ Lay the squash on its side and cut off the rounded end of the squash (1).

~ Cut it roughly in half just at the end of the long straight bit before it swells out (2).

~ Cut off the end with the stalk (3).

~ Stand the straight half on a cut end and using the small sharp knife cut off strips of peel in a downward direction or use a potato peeler.

~ Do the same with the rounded piece..

~ Cut the rounded piece in half (4) and using a sharpedged teaspoon remove the seeds and membranein the middle.

And here is a “hack” of my very own ...

With large round solid things like butternut squash, instead of moving the knife back and forth to cut it I wedge the blade where I want to make the cut then hold it still and move the squash back and forth. I find this much safer and easier.

5. Shred chicken breasts using the K-beater and your mixer

3 Questions …

~ Isn’t this a bit strange and a lot of faff for nothing?

~ How about 2 forks or even a sharp knife (again)?

~ WTF?

6. Use an egg slicer to slice garlic, mushroomsor strawberries

There was me thinking it was daft using an egg slicer to slice eggs! Daft, daft, daft.

Yet again a sharp knife, only a smaller one this time, is the answer and so much easier!

7. Chop Herbs with a Pizza CutterInstead of a Knife!

The article went on to say “evenbetter cut everything with apizza cutter” which is seriouslymisguided.

Chop herbs with a long sharpknife and a rocking motion,sprinkle the board with a littlesalt before you start to stop theherbs sliding around too much.

8. Quickly Sear Meat in the Broiler Rather Than on the Stove

No, don’t do that because doingit in the pan (which should NOTbe non-stick) leaves a deliciousmeaty residue ...

... which can then bequickly made into asauce.

Here’s how …

~ Once your meat is browned set it aside in a warm place (here’s yet another “hack” – pan fried or roasted meat is so, so, so much juicer and more tender if you let it rest in a warm place for say 5-10 minutes for a steak or up to 30 minutes for a joint before serving).

~ Add a little liquid (water, wine or stock) to the pan.

~ Bring it to a boil scraping up the cooked-on meat juices and letting them dissolve in the liquid.

~ If it is a bit runny simmer till reduceda little then add a knob of butter or a splashof cream et voila a delicious sauce.

~ Season to taste, of course.

9. For Richer Scrambled Eggs, Use Sour Cream Instead of Milk

This one is not quite so silly as the other “hacks” but I have never ever whisked milk or cream into eggs for scrambling.

There is no need or even any point;for richer scrambled eggs this is

the thing to do ...

~ Melt a knob of butter (not margarine or anything else) in a smallnon-stick pan (easier for washing up “hack”).

~ When partly melted break 2 or 3 eggs into the butter andimmediately stir all together, season and continue stirring over lowheat.

~ As it cooks fold the solidifying egg into the uncooked and continuetill you have a pan of soft perfectly scrambled eggs and thenimmediately do this neat trick (or “hack”) from Julia Child ...

~ Whisk in a knob of cold butter. This will stop the eggs cooking anyfurther, retain them at optimal creaminess and make them moredelicious than ever. You could use cream or sour cream at this stageinstead of butter or even milk if you don’t want them to be toodelicious!

10. Cook vegetables (and other things) in the dishwasher together with a load of dishes.

I was surprised to read this.

It is suggested that the vegetables are seasoned and then sealed ina jar with a tight screw on lid so that the soapy water can’t get in,it should be placed upright in the dishwasher.

I don’t have a dishwasher but research has shown that they takebetween 30 minutes and two hours per cycle, 80 minutes beingoptimum. Also that you should probably not open thedishwasher mid-cycle. How well cooked do you like your veggies?

How to cook vegetables…

~ Bring to the boil.~ Turn down the heat, put on the lid and simmer for …

3-5 minutes for green vegetables, cauliflower and carrots, and

25 minutes or so for potatoes

NOT 80 for anything!

~ Drain immediately.

~ Cut the vegetables into similarly sized slices or florets or whatever shape is appropriate.~ Put them in a small pan~ Pour over boiling water to cover and add a little salt.

The next one isn’t actually daft, it is absolutely the right thing to do!

I saw this in a list of …

“17 F*cking Brilliant Food Hacks That Will Save You A Lot Of Money”

However I think it is more a case of …

F*cking Blatantly Obvious… than brilliant!

Wanna know what this stunning idea is? Read on …

11. Grate your own cheese!!!

Ta Da!

Articles on these “hacks” often say …

“This changes EVERYTHING” … or something similar and often I agree!

You could, for instance, hurt your eyes with out-of-control lemon juice, stab yourself whilst bashing a knife with a mallet or cut your finger off sliding a knife between two plastic lids separated by rolly-about tomatoes!

Here’s a better idea …

My Own Tips, "Hacks" & Techniques ...

I have written a book containing just what it says on the cover which will be of far more use than all the foregoing hacks puts together.

It looks like this … … and your can read more about it here.