10 ways to make your boss love you

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10 Ways to Make Your Boss Love Youby Anne KadetMonday, September 21, 2009

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The stock market's been climbing. Housing prices are on the rebound. But the jobmarket? Like a bum on a bender, it still hasn't hit bottom. Even as the Dow continuedits impressive run-up in recent months, Americans were still losing jobs at the rate of2,500 an hour. Looking for work? At last count, there were 14.5 million workerscompeting for just 2.6 million openings, and the average job hunt lasted six months. Allof which means there's one piece of advice that holds true for just about everyemployee: Keep your job.

Even the most ambitious Americans areplaying defense when it comes to careerplanning-hanging on to their jobs as tight asthey can. For most workers, that includespaying extra attention to their relationship withtheir direct supervisor, who, not surprisingly, isunder quite a bit of pressure lately. Accordingto a recent survey of U.S. managers by global

HR consulting firm BPI, 82 percent feelstressed on the job, and 75 percent say thestress has hurt their relationship with theirteams. "If a boss was indecisive, controlling ortemperamental in good times, he's probablytwice as bad now," says Manhattan psychotherapist Katherine Crowley, whospecializes in workplace relationships.

The fact that many managers these days lack the skills to lead a team only adds to thechallenge. Twenty years ago most supervisors received formal training from theircompanies, learning how to set goals, settle disputes and reward good performance.But companies are increasingly focusing that time and money elsewhere. According toa study by Bersin & Associates, spending on leadership development as a share of

employee education budgets fell 20 percent last year. Translation: Your manager isprobably making it up as he goes along.

But you don't have to. Career consultants saythe current office environment offersoutstanding opportunities for employees who-far from lying low-are increasing their role atwork by actively supporting their boss. There'sa term for this, of course: It's called "managingup." What does this mean in practical terms?To come up with a surefire plan for job

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retention, we talked to a slew of managementgurus and, to keep it real, to corporate leaderswho are bosses themselves (boy, did theygive us an earful). Here, 10 strategies thatemployees in almost any job can use to helpkeep their bosses happy-and keep themselvesoff the street.

1. Put in the Hours -- When It Counts

The choppy economy has us spending more time at the office; according to a surveyby the Society for Human Resource Management, 50 percent of workers say there'smore pressure to work long hours now than there was a year ago. Roughly half of allworkers also say they're increasing their hours to impress the boss and shore up jobsecurity. But bosses say they don't actually care how many hours employees work, aslong as the job gets done. Yes, managers expect late nights or a sacrificed weekend ina crunch. But when it's just for show, you're wasting your time. Shai Littlejohn, anentertainment lawyer, says there's nothing more annoying than an employee whobrags about his long hours-it strikes her as self-serving. Plus, she can't help wondering,"Why can't you finish your job in a normal amount of time like everyone else?"

Another reason to pace yourself? There's actually evidence that working long hourscan hurt your performance. A study published this year in the American Journal ofEpidemiology found that middle-aged workers who consistently worked at least 55hours a week scored lower on reasoning and vocabulary tests than counterpartsworking 40-hour weeks. A second study found that medical residents working 90 hoursa week showed the same impairment level as those who drank 4 ounces of vodka.

Most bosses understand that a work-life balance creates a happy, productiveemployee; they appreciate a worker who paces herself to maintain peak performance.Crowley, coauthor with Kathi Elster of Working for You Isn't Working for Me, suggeststhat employees tell their bosses exactly what they need: "I have to leave tonight at 7"while explaining, "I need some rest because I want to do the best job possible." And ifyou happen to get caught goofing off on the job, don't pretend you're not. SteveRichard, CEO of Arlington, Va., sales outsourcing firm Vorsight, says it's annoying to

approach an employee and watch him switch from Facebook or a sports site to aspreadsheet. "I'm human-I look at ESPN too," he says. "Don't hide it from me."

2. Empathize

David Via, vice president of sales and marketing for D'Addario, a Long Island music-accessories manufacturer, offers unusual words of praise for his national salesmanager: "He reads between the l ines." For instance, Via recently CC'd this sales

manager on an e-mail to another employee who wanted advice on a big contract. "I'llsee if I can do it over the weekend," Via wrote. The unspoken message? "I'm totallyswamped!" Via was delighted when the manager immediately offered to review thecontract himself.

Putting yourself in your manager's shoes can earn favor, but it also takes the sting outof bad boss behavior, says management consultant Lynn Taylor, author of Tame YourTerrible Office Tyrant. In interviews with 200 bosses and employees, she found onefactor underlying practically all the supervisors' most annoying behaviors: fear.Whether a boss is being demanding, critical, stubborn or needy, chances are she'sscared of failing or looking bad to her own boss. "It's not about you," says Taylor. Theemployee can turn things around by addressing the underlying problem. If the boss isstressed about a big presentation, for example, the employee could offer to help.

Of course, the source of a manager's freak-out isn't always readily apparent. TimReeves, CEO of Philadelphia advertising firm The Neiman Group, says employees

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don't realize how lonely it can be at the top. They tend to depersonalize their boss andforget he has his own burdens. That isolation creates an opportunity for the thoughtfulemployee who sincerely cares for his boss's well-being-and is confident enough to askabout the boss's concerns and priorities. On the other hand, any boss can tell when it's just self-centered brownnosing, says Reeves: "A gratuitous inquiry into 'How are thekids' is not what I'm talking about."

3. Defuse a Bad Situation

In the late '90s, a Harvard Business Review study confirmed many employees' worstfears. Researchers interviewing hundreds of executives found that almost allsupervisors sort their subordinates into an in-group and an out-group-typically withinfive days of meeting them. It gets worse: Once an employee gets lumped in the out-group, the boss literally doesn't notice the person's accomplishments; he notices onlyfailures that reinforce the initial impression.

The researchers say a frank, face-to-face discussion is the best way to break the cycle.But the supervisor may never request that meeting-bosses dread confrontation asmuch as employees do. "It's no fun to tell someone they're not cutting the mustard,"admits John Erwin, president of call-center provider CareNet. Instead, the bad feelingsfester until it's time for layoffs-and guess who gets cut.

When an employee takes the initiative and calls a meeting, "It's a huge relief," saysSan Francisco human-resources consultant and 5 O'Clock Club coach Susan Bloch.That doesn't mean begging for help, however; that just puts pressure on the boss.Rather, a shrewd employee will identify job objectives that he hasn't met, pinpointingreasons for failures and suggesting a better approach. This method works for onetimeblunders as well. An employee who brings a mistake to his boss's attention-and comesarmed with a solution-can win points for candor. Erwin says he'd rather hear the stupidtruth about a situation ("I forgot!") than a dozen lame excuses.

4. Be a Conduit

The boss who surrounds himself with panting sycophants is an old cliché, but thestereotype has little basis in reality. Fact is, leaders worry about overlooking

unpleasant truths in the office. Elster, a Manhattan business strategist and executivecoach, says some bosses are so desperate for straight information, they hire folks likeher to grill employees and report back. No surprise, then, that an employee who tellsthe ugly truth is "invaluable to the boss," she says.

Stuart Udell, CEO of 550-employee online college Penn Foster, found that as he rosehigher in the ranks, he heard far less negative feedback. So he particularly appreciatesemployees who clue him in to festering problems. He fondly recalls a warehousemanager who took smoke breaks with coworkers and came to him with insiderintelligence. At another company, Udell relied on a sales VP who told him when thefinance and product teams weren't communicating. He didn't regard these folks assnitches, he says, because they never trashed individual colleagues. Indeed, Elsteradvises against tattling about an employee's ethics or performance, because it looksvindictive and self-serving.

Bosses say they also value employees who help them understand when the troops areconfused or misinformed. Justin Honaman, director of customer intelligence at Coca-Cola, says he loves employees who pose the questions in meetings that everyone elseis afraid to ask. It helps him do his job. After all, he has no way of knowing what histeam doesn't know. On the flip side, he dislikes employees who ask questionsengineered to put him on the spot. "It's funny for a few minutes," he says, "but youdon't forget it."

5. Ask for Help





Bosses say they love an employee who asks for help. Not only does it show humilityand a desire to learn, but it's also a subtle form of flattery-"ego-stroking for the boss,"says Ridgewood, N.J., executive coach Bill Belknap. In fact, sel f-reliance can backfire.John Southard, partner at Overland Park, Kan., architecture firm Hollis + Miller, saysyounger associates try to impress by handling everything themselves, but those whoseek advice perform better and advance faster.

Still, bosses say it's easy to tell when an employee asks questions just to get attention,

and Belknap agrees that some take this tactic too far: Ultimately, an employee whobrings every problem to her boss looks lazy. Smart subordinates exhaust everyresource-coworkers, Google, Twitter-and approach the boss with only their toughestchallenges.

6. Connect the Boss's Way

When it comes to deciding when, where and how to communicate with the boss, prowrestler The Rock said it best: "It doesn't matter what you think!" Subordinates need toadopt the manager's style, says Bloch, the human-resources consultant. That meansdelivering information in a format the boss can process. The late management guruPeter Drucker observed that some folks are fantastic readers who don't retain much ofwhat they hear. Hard-core listeners, meanwhile, comprehend little on the printed page.If a subordinate keeps writing memos for a listener, Drucker wrote, "the boss will thinkthe employee is stupid, incompetent and lazy." Experts also divide the boss ranks intoanalytical types and big-picture folks. The analytical boss needs to hear all the detailssupporting a conclusion. The big-picture boss just wants to know how arecommendation relates to her goal.

But one communication rule applies to every boss: Keep it up. In fact, it's best toovercommunicate, until the boss says to back off. One of the most common reasonsfor a bad performance review is an employee's failure to track his boss's top priorities,says Bloch. She suggests a regular exchange in which the boss and subordinatereview the employee's agenda.

7. Show Initiative

We don't need science to tell us that bosses prefer employees who request moreresponsibility. Still, there are studies to prove it. A recent analysis examining decadesof research on workplace personalities found that proactivity-the tendency to showinitiative and seek opportunity-is the top predictor of an employee's performance ratingand likelihood of advancement.

These days, of course, everyone's assuming wider duties, whether they want to or not.A CareerBuilders poll this summer found that 47 percent of workers say they've takenon more responsibility thanks to employer layoffs. But showing initiative doesn'tnecessarily mean extra hours, says Belknap, the executive coach. It can meanexchanging a task for a higher-level assignment or finding a clever way to solve aproblem. Even if your suggestion is dismissed, just making the effort "puts you aheadof the pack," he says.

Udell, the Penn Foster CEO, still gushes about the project manager he hired todevelop an online testing system back when he ran the K-12 division at Kaplan. Beforea big sales meeting, the manager noted that the division's Web site needed anoverhaul. He suggested a consultant who could do the job in just six weeks-for lessthan $12,000. This didn't require much effort on the manager's part, but Udellappreciated that the employee was anticipating the challenge his boss was facing: "Heknew I'd be standing in front of my sales force having to explain why we had such acrappy Web site."

8. Be Positive





Bosses hate the office complainer, because an employee with a bad attitude can infectthe entire team. But positive employees quickly earn their boss's favor. Before Erwin,the call-center president, rose to the executive suite, he liked to position his mostpositive employees right near his desk, simply because the cheerleaders helped himstay upbeat: "The smiles and supportiveness keep you charged up." It's not just a bigboss ego trip. Positive folks really do perform better in the face of challenge andrejection. In a study of 15,000 workers who took an industry test and applied for a life-insurance job, University of Pennsylvania researcher Martin Seligman found that within

two years of hiring, the optimists significantly outsold the pessimists. Meanwhile, asubgroup of 130 optimists who failed the industry test (but were hired anyway) outsoldeveryone.

Larry Rivers, president of Fort Valley State University in Georgia, says he couldn't dowithout the positive attitude of his prize employee, Judy Carter, dean of the university'sCollege of Education. When Rivers took his job in 2006, he launched a plan to doubleenrollment within five years. There was plenty of grumbling from folks who said it wastoo much too soon. Not Carter. When Rivers asked her to start three new teacher-prepprograms, she started seven, attracting 500 new education majors. She also tirelesslycampaigned for the changes, meeting with professors and administrators to explainhow the growth would lead to more research funding, higher salaries and travel money."She gets people to buy in," says Rivers, who notes that the school wound up reaching

its five-year goal in just three years. "A good attitude is contagious."

Of course, the cheerleading can backfire if it's not supported by results. Vorsight CEORichard says he's frustrated with salespeople who set optimistic goals and fail todeliver. He needs accurate forecasts to manage cash flow, and the puffery is "veryannoying."

9. Make Like Mini-Me

They say that if you want to be the boss, you should dress like the boss. That's true.But here's an even better reason to copy your supervisor's look: It creates an instantconnection. Research shows that we feel more comfortable and trusting around peoplewho reaffirm the validity of our own choices, and that includes our choice of fashion. Anemployee who adopts the boss's look is saying he's on the boss's team, says

Clearwater, Fla., image consultant Kelly Machbitz.

Yes, this sounds fairly creepy. But it doesn't mean being a clone. An employee doesn'tneed to dress like his manager every day. Rather, it's a strategy for face-to-facemeetings. Nor does it mean slavishly imitating the boss's look down to the last detail.Instead of buying the same Ralph Lauren striped shirt the boss wore last Thursday, azippy stripe from another designer will do. Successful mimics also decode theunspoken boundaries of their manager's attire; they never show up looking morecasual or sloppier than the boss looks on his worst day.

There are other sartorial strategies that establish trust on a subconscious level. Anemployee who upstages her boss by dressing more formally or expensively looks outof place and signals that she's gunning for her manager's job. Machbitz also

recommends building a wardrobe around reassuring colors. Brown, navy blue and grayconvey competence; black and bright red are aggressive and threatening.

10. Get Your Face Time

Forced to choose between a "competent jerk" and a "likable fool," any boss will swearhe'd pick the jerk. But that's not how it works in real life. In a study analyzing more than10,000 work relationships across four white-collar companies, Stanford and HarvardUniversity researchers found that time and time again people choose likability overcompetence. They also found that perceived likability depends, in part, on somethingas simple as how much time people spend together: We like folks with whom we are





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familiar, and the better we know someone, the easier they are to work with.

No wonder Americans spend so much time dining and golfing with the boss. While thedays of bringing the boss home for dinner are long gone, a recent survey of six-figureexecutives found that 55 percent said socializing with the boss was good for theircareer, and 27 percent believe it's a necessity. Only 17 percent said they never hangwith the boss outside work. Alas, this is one area where employees have to let theboss take the lead, says Crowley, the psychotherapist. If the boss extends an

invitation, it's bad form to say no, but inviting the boss for drinks or a round of golfnearly always comes off as manipulative.

Most bosses have very firm ideas about how and when they want to socialize withsubordinates. Southard, the architect, says he and his partners put a lot of thought intoa formal program of office events for socializing-including "Thirsty Thursdays"coordinated by a "Ministry of Fun," plus scheduled coffee breaks. So when anemployee comes by outside those hours to chitchat, he can't help wondering, "Are theybored?"

Still, there are subtle ways of orchestrating face time. Littlejohn, the lawyer, says sheappreciates being included in group invitations via e-mail ("Going to lunch-anyoneinterested?"). Selecting a conference or seminar to attend with a boss shows initiative,and the process of learning together can be a bonding experience. Folks who bumpinto the boss outside the office should keep it friendly but brief. Rivers, the universitypresident, says he tries to be polite, but employee encounters can interfere with hisgrocery shopping: "That gets to be a little trying at times."

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