Scenes Overview- CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE - Chile

Scene 1: Introduction/ The Case of the Chilean Sea Bass

Special Set: Desk with 3 chairs

Characters Costumes PropsHOST- Ileana Business formal attireNarrator 1- Bridgette Hilldale Full Dress CYOA bookMother- Liana Detective-like trench

coat and hatBinoculars

Deputy Chief- Nicolas Business casual attireChart MapPointer Stick

(audience rep 1) N/A N/A

Scene 2a: The South

Special Set: Table with scale and seabass to weigh

Characters Costumes PropsHOST- Ileana Business formal attireNarrator 2- Kathryn Hilldale Full Dress CYOA book

Narrator 3- Anthony Hilldale Full Dress CYOA bookMother- Liana Detective-like trench

coat and hatPenguins

1. Dasha2. Elijah*3. Alice

Penguin Costume *Small fish to throw around

Fisherman- Alex Fisherman clothes scale and large Chilean Sea Bass

(audience rep 2) N/A heavy winter jacket

Scene 2b: The Wise Native

Special Set: salt hotel with bar and 3 stools, flamingos

Characters Costumes PropsHOST- Ileana Business Formal Attire rewind button Narrator 4- Henry Hilldale Full Dress CYOA bookNarrator 5- Dasha Hilldale Full Dress CYOA book

Mother- Liana Detective-like trench coat and hat bus for 2; rover for 2

Bellhop- Alex White button down and dark slacks

Diaguita (Native)- Anthony T-shirt, jeans, ballcap glass of “wine”

(audience rep 3) N/A soccer ball*Ms. Y- play rewind sounds on cell phone

Scene 3: A Clue

Special Set: a trail of pesos: coins and bills

Characters Costumes PropsNarrator 6- Isabel Hilldale Full Dress CYOA book

Mother- Liana Detective-like trench coat and hat pesos

(audience rep 4) N/A

HOST- Ileana Business Formal Attire

Scene 4: Independence Day Celebrations and Iron Chef Competition

Special Set: small table and 2 chairs to the side; long table with three chairs, cooking supplies, and bowls; cart of supplies; large Chilean Sea Bass and scale

Characters Costumes Props

Mother- Liana Detective-like trench coat and hat magnifying glass

DancersGIRLS- Alice- lead Isabel Dasha BridgetteBOYS- Alex Anthony Nicolas Henry

Girls- full flowery or plaid skirt with apron, ribbons on sleeves, same hair styleBoys- poncho, dark pants, black cowboyish hat, cowboyish boots (optional)

handkerchief (one for each dancer)

Contestants1. Elijah2. Kathryn3. Henry

1. Button down shirt (plaid or color), dark slacks

2. High hair-sprayed bangs, bright pink lipstick, dress

3. White button down shirt, dark slacks, glasses

cooking supplies, plates, bowls

Gordon Ramsey- TommyChef’s hat measuring cups

Deputy Chief- Nicolas Business casual attire forged certificateAssistant Silvia- Alice Business formal attire real certificate(audience rep) N/A

*Ms. Y- plays dancer’s song on cell phone

Scene 1: Introduction/ the Case of the Chilean Sea Bass

HOST: Welcome, welcome, to Fifth Grade’s International Fair Play on the wonderful country of

Chile! We have worked very hard and are excited to perform for you! Sit back and relax, but

don’t get too comfortable because in this year’s play YOU will be a direct character and YOU

will get to decide which path we all take in this Choose Your Own Adventure play!

For this first scene, Ms. Y is going to choose a representative who has been sitting quietly and

following directions since they arrived this afternoon. __________ is going to come up to the

stage and he/she is going to represent YOU, all of you in the audience, for our first scene. An

interesting fact about the Choose Your Own Adventures books, popular in the 80’s and early

90’s, is that they are all written in the 2nd person, and therefore so is our play today.

__________, our Fifth Grade actors are going to act around you, but feel free to join in with their

actions as makes sense. Also, anytime the narrator says you say something, be ready to repeat

it loudly, like a parrot, okay? Do you understand what to do?! Great!

With no further adieu, please enjoy Choose Your Own Adventure Chile!

Narrator 1: (Pretend to read from CYOA book) You and your mother arrive in Santiago, Chile’s

capital, after a long flight from San Francisco. You find yourself right in the middle of the country

in its cultural, political, and financial center. Your mother is a detective with an excellent record

for solving cases but she keeps a low profile. She feels this helps her when she needs to be

undercover, like today.

Mother: What am amazing city! (scans the skyline with binoculars) Look! (pointing) You can

see the Andes Mountains! And vineyards for winemaking, a personal favorite pastime of mine!

You sure we don’t have time to stop for a glass?

Narrator 1: You firmly shake your head no. (cue audience rep to shake his/her head)

Mother: And can you smell the Pacific Ocean? It certainly is not too far!

Narrator 1: You do smell the salt in the air. You reply, “Yes, Mama! It is wonderful!” (pause and cue audience rep to repeat)

________: Yes, Mama! It’s wonderful!

Mother: Did you know that Pedro de Valdivia was the Spanish conquistador that took over

Santiago and became its first royal governor. You can see the Spanish influence here in

architecture and in the strong presence of the Catholic church. Before he and his comrades like

Juan Fernandez and Ferdinand Magellan came, these lands were ruled by the Incas. Some say

Chile may have gotten its name from a Native American word meaning “ends of the earth” or

“where the land ends.”

Narrator 1: You reply respectfully that it is very interesting but then more impatiently say, “But

Mama, what about the reason we are here?!” (pause and cue audience rep to repeat)

_________: But Mama, what about the reason we are here?!

Mother: Ah yes, that’s why I have you along, to keep me on track. Let’s go to the US Embassy.

We’ll get more information there about our special job.

(Mother grabs audience rep’s hand and walks him/her off stage and then walks with him/her back on to sit at a desk across from the deputy chief while narrator explains)

Narrator 1: You see, you are here for a very important reason, poaching. Along with Chilean

endangered species such as the Andean Condor (it’s national bird), the Andean Cat, the

Chilean dolphin, the Chilean flamingo, and many species of Coral, the case your mother has

agreed to investigate is of the Chilean Sea Bass. Environmental cases are both of your personal

favorites!

(Deputy chief is very analytical. He has a chart and a stick to point at it with and a map)

Deputy Chief: So as you can see, the legal limit of Sea Bass is being met, and there has been

an influx in the amount of illegal sales to America. (pointing to chart) The restaurant and market

sales of the fish are higher than the amount legally caught.

Mother: Wow! I can barely even read that. That’s …really terrible writing. (to ______) This is

why handwriting matters!

Okay, sorry (to deputy chief); you understand: teachable moment. So, this is why the US

Department of Commerce called me in?

Deputy Chief: Yes, some think there is probably one mastermind behind most of the illegal

sales, but I say it’s probably many small fishermen, haha too many to figure out and too poor to

punish. You know, doing what they need to do to makes ends meet. I can only imagine the

pressure of being in the lower class and trying to feed my family. I really don’t know why they

called you in. It’s truly an unsolvable and unmanageable problem.

Mother: We’ll find out the truth. Where should we start?

Deputy Chief: You will, huh? Beats me! (pointing to the map this time) You are looking at one

of the longest countries in the world with the most coastline. There are approximately 17.5

million people who live here, 40% of the whole Chilean population in this city alone! We are in

the metropolitan region now, which is only one of twelve regions, which are then subdivided into

31 provinces. Could take you a lifetime to talk to everyone.

Mother: Do you have any words of advice for us as we begin?

Deputy Chief: It is summer now, but our summers here are actually like your winters and vice versa. Climate is relatively mild in the middle of the country, near the river valleys and farmland, but down near the southern tip, because of its proximity to Antarctica and the Drake Sea, it gets mighty cold, icy, and rainy. That’s where most of the Chilean Sea Bass fishermen fish. So…bring a parka!

I’ve also been told that there is a wise native who knows all the fishermen well. He might be useful to talk to, but he’s a nomad. He may be in the Valdivian Rainforest, on Villarica, one of our famous, active volcanos or in the Atacama desert. Those are his usual spots. They call him Diaguita after the tribe of indigenous people he leads.

Mother: That’s very helpful. Thank you for your advice! Buenos tardes! (shakes hand)

Deputy Chief: Buenos tardes! And uh, good luck!

(Deputy Chief leaves, Mother and audience rep stay at center stage)

Mother: (to audience rep) So what do you think? Where should we go to look for clues first? Should we try to head to the cold south and meet some of the fishermen, or should we try to locate Diaguita, the wise Native from the tribe of the same name.

HOST: (to audience) Audience you can help ______ decide by holding up your fingers: 1 for if you’d like to go south to meet the fishermen, or 2 if you’d like to find Diaguita for advice.

(wait for audience rep to make his/her choice)

Mother: (repeats loudly so everyone can hear) I was thinking the same thing myself! We’re off to (insert choice here).

HOST: Thank you _________ for being such an amazing audience representative. You may now go back to your seat. Ms. Y is going to pick our next guest actor from the audience who will become YOU in the next scene of our adventure.

(to audience member chosen) Welcome_______. Are you ready? The instructions for you are the same: act along with the scene and repeat any words the narrator asks of you as we go. Got it?

IF HE/SHE CHOSE THE SOUTH AND FISHERMEN GO ON TO SCENE 2A

IF HE/SHE CHOSE THE WISE NATIVE GO TO SCENE 2B

Scene 2a: Going South & Fishermen

Narrator 2: (pretend to read from CYOA book) You and your mother arrive at the tip of Southern Chile. You feel it getting very chilly, no pun intended.

Mother: (to audience rep) Here, you’ll need this (pulls out heavy winter jacket) But, a little cold never stopped us before!

Narrator 2: There are glaciers and ice on the ground. Your mother starts studying tracks in the snow. You wander to the other side of the dock away from your mother. Suddenly, you see three penguins waddle by.

(Penguins waddle out to corner of stage)

You expected to see deer, like the Taruca (Chile’s National animal), cougars, bears, foxes, monkeys, armadillos, porcupines, and maybe some llamas on this trip, but not penguins! Looking surprised, you can’t believe you are seeing them in Chile!

Penguin 1: Hi, we are the Seno Otway Penguin Colony.

Penguin 2: We usually lounge on the beach and commute to nearby nests. (tossing around and playing with a small fish)

Penguin 3: Our cousins, the Humboldt Penguins, can also be found in Chile but they’re on the northside. We have a playful south-coast, north-coast feud with them, kinda like your east-coast, west-coast.

Narrator 2: You also can’t believe they are talking to you. Maybe you are not drinking enough water on this trip. “Can dehydration cause delirium?” you think to yourself. Well, if you can hear them, maybe they can tell you something about the illegal Chilean Sea Bass fishermen. “Do you know anything about the Chilean Sea Bass population around these parts?” you ask them.

(wait for audience rep to repeat, you can help if they need it repeated in pieces)

___________: Do you know anything about the Chilean Sea Bass population around these

parts?

Penguin 1: Chilean Sea Bass: a deep-water species also known as toothfish. Technically not a bass, although people call it that.

Penguin 2: (repeats, while pointing to tooth goofily) Tooth-fishhhh (continues playing with little fish)

Penguin 3: It’s white meat fetches premium prices in specialty markets and high-end restaurants. They can live for 50 years and grow to 200 pounds! That’s why fishermen covet them so. There’s been less and less and less of them; I wish you humans would watch what you do! It can really offset the balance of nature for all of us, you know?

Penguin 2: I smell something fishy off the coast of Easter Island, but you didn’t hear it from me.

Narrator 2: “Okay, thank you, Penguins,” you say. (cue audience rep to repeat you)

___________: Okay, thank you, Penguins

Penguins 1, 2, and 3: De nada (as they waddle off together)

(switch narrators/pass CYOA book to next narrator)

Narrator 3: You are reminded by the penguins’ use of Spanish that it is the official language in Chile. You should really try to put to use all of those Spanish lessons from school on this trip. You return to your mother who thinks she has found some fresh tracks. You mention you saw some penguins. (cue audience rep to speak)

________: I saw some penguins.

Mother: Ah, the Seno Ottway Penguins

Narrator 3: …she says so matter-of-factly. You decide not to tell her that they talked to you. Instead, you ask her for a swig of her water. (cue audience rep to ask)

___________: Can I have some water?

Mother: (handing over a water bottle) Sure, darling. If we follow these fresh prints we are bound to meet up with a boatsman soon.

Narrator 3: So you do, and your detective mother is right. You meet a fisherman, weighing his catches of the day. Mother decides to ask him a few questions.

Mother: Veo que has cogido una lubina chilena. Cual es el proceso legal?

(Penguins waddle back across stage, translating the conversation)

Penguins 1, 2, and 3: I see you have caught some Chilean Sea Bass. What is the legal process?

Fisherman: Tenemos que obtener documentacion para que la venta sea legal. Todos somos

honesto Pescadores aqui, pero he oido hablar de unno que es deshonesto.

Penguins 1, 2, and 3: We have to get proper documentation in order to sell it legally by weight. We are all honest fishermen here but I have heard of one who is dishonest.

Mother: Gracias. Sabes de donde podria navegar?

Penguins 1, 2, and 3: Thank you. Do you know where he might sail from?

Fisherman: Lo siento, no lo se.

Penguins 1, 2, and 3: I’m sorry. I don’t know.

(Penguins finish waddling off-stage, Fisherman leaves)

Mother: All those Spanish classes help you understand? (asks audience rep)

Narrator 3: You nod yes.

IF THE SOUTH WAS YOUR FIRST CHOICE:

Mother: We’ve gained some important information. Unfortunately, we haven’t found much of a lead. Why don’t we try the other option and see if we have any better luck.

HOST: Thank you _________ for being such an amazing audience representative. You may now go back to your seat. Ms. Y is going to pick our next guest actor from the audience who will become YOU in the next scene of our adventure.

(to audience member chosen) Welcome_______. Are you ready? The instructions for you are the same: act along with the scene and repeat any words the narrator asks of you as we go. Got it?

(switch to scene 2b and continue)

IF THE NATIVE WAS YOUR FIRST CHOICE:

(go to scene 3)

Scene 2b: The Wise Native

Narrator 4: (pretend to read from CYOA book) Indigenous people are 10% of Chile’s population, people who identify themselves with one or more of these 9 existing tribes: the Mapuches, Aymara, Quechua, Atacameño, Kolla, Diaguita, Yaghan, Rapa Nui, and Kawaskhar tribes. The native mentioned by the deputy chief is from the Diaguita tribe and has taken the tribe’s name as his own. The best way to track him down might be to go to the tribe’s territory and ask about him there. Although, the deputy did give two of his normal hang-outs, the Atacama Desert and the Villarrica Volcano.

Mother: We are closer to tribe’s territory and the Villarrica Volcano. Let’s choose between those? Which way would you like to try? (asking the audience rep)

HOST: Audience, show your preference to your representative. Hold up one finger if you’d like to head to the Diaguita territory, or 2 fingers if you’d like to go to the Villarrica Volcano.

(wait for audience reps choice)

Mother: It’s like you can read my mind! I was thinking the same thing! We’ll go to (insert choice here)

IF VILLARICA IS CHOSEN FOLLOW THIS SCRIPT/ IF NOT SKIP DOWN TO TERRITORY

Narrator 4: While climbing the steep side of the still active volcano. It starts to get very, very hot. Steam and ash begin to shoot up out the top, the ground begins to rumble, and you and mother fall to the ground. It turns into a sea of oozing lava which swallows you up before you can even feel a thing.

(Mother whispers to audience rep “when you hear the rewind sound, do in reverse what we just did; follow my lead)

HOST: Well, this is an unfortunate ending, as so many CYOA endings are. I could tell you to pack up your things and go, shows over, but if we do it my way, I’d like to push this little button here (pulls out a rewind button) and see what happens.

(rewind sounds play, mother and audience rep go in reverse to before they began trudging up the volcano, to where the choice was made and then stop… about 5 seconds)

Mother: We are closer to tribe’s territory and the Villarrica Volcano. Let’s choose between those? Which way would you like to try? (asking the audience rep)

HOST: Audience, show your opinion: one finger if you’d like to head to the Diaguita territory, or 2 fingers if you’d like to go to the Villarrica Volcano.

Mother: The territory sounds great! Something tells me that’s the safest way to go. (wink)

TERRITORY

(mother and audience rep enter in bus; villagers gather at stage corner)

Narrator 4: You take a bus down into the transverse valley, exit, and see some villagers. Mother walks up to them and asks them some questions while you decide to kick around an old soccer ball someone has left in the street. Soccer is a favorite sport of the Chile people only they call it football. After she is done speaking with them, she comes over.

Mother: They say Diaguita is quite elusive. This is why he likes the volcano and desert. He knows a lot of secrets. They say we’ve been sent on a wild goose chase and that whoever sent us was probably trying to get us lost or hurt. You exclaim, “Oh no!” (cue audience rep)

____________: Oh no!

Mother: Oh yes! Do you want to try the Atacama desert before we go back and I give that deputy a piece of my mind! There are some sites of ancient mummies there, made by the Chinchorro people. I know how mummies fascinate you. The one named the Acha man dates back to 7020 BCE, making it the oldest mummy found in the whole world! Or we can check out the salt hotel on the border of Chile and Bolivia, a hotel made entirely of salt, even the furniture!

Narrator 4: Mother seems to be getting distracted by the sites and the culture of this interesting country. You’re there to keep her on track, but she seems so upset by having no leads. It might be good for you both to get your minds off the case for a while. HOST: Audience, if you’d like to go to the ancient mummy sites hold a #1 high in the air; if you’d like to visit the tourist attraction of the salt hotel, hold up a #2.

(wait for audience reps choice)

Mother: Very well then, let’s (insert choice here) Onward!

IF YOU PICKED THE MUMMY SITES FOLLOW THIS SCRIPT/ IF NOT SKIP DOWN TO THE SALT HOTEL

(switch narrator/pass CYOA to next narrator)

Narrator 5: You take a bus to the ancient burial sites of the Chinchorro people. You and mother go deep into the excavations that have been dug by archeologists.

(lead the audience rep to jump back stage with you; we’ll only hear your voices from backstage)

Mother: The Atacama desert (shouting from behind stage) is the perfect place for natural mummification, with all the nitrates in the soil, the hot and dry air, and the salt which keeps bacteria away.

Narrator 5: Suddenly you hear a crash behind you! The tunnel has collapsed and buried you both in heavy debris and salt. The last thought you remember is that you and your mother are going to be the newest Chinchorro mummies.

(Mother whispers to audience rep “when you hear the rewind sound, do in reverse what we just did; follow my lead) HOST: Oh how sad! I truly don’t like a tearful ending. (Lifts up rewind button) But, if we just do thisssss…

(rewind sounds play, mother and audience rep go in reverse to before they began taking the bus to the Chinchorro burial grounds, to where the last choice was made and then stop… about 5 seconds)

HOST: Audience, let me ask you this time if you’d like to go to the ancient mummy sites or if you’d like to visit the tourist attraction of the salt hotel (holding up a 2).

Mother: Very well then, let’s (insert choice here) Onward!

SALT HOTEL:

Narrator 5: You and your mother take a rover through the salt flats where it’s salt as far as the eye can see. It almost looks like a sea of ice, you think to yourself. Not many animals can live in those extremely salty lakes. You see some flamingos feasting on some brine shrimp. You stop at the Palacio de Sal resort. As soon as you walk inside, the bellhop guides you into the bar where everything including the stools are made of salt. You and your mother join a man having a glass of red wine, a Chilean favorite.

Bellhop: Whatever you do, do not lick anything. Do not lick the table, the chairs, or the walls. Do you hear me?! (then walks off frustratedly)

Mother: I guess people want to know for sure!

Diaguita: The human mind is always testing with the senses, and should it not?

Mother: I guess it should, Sir. I mean, I am fairly fond of scientific evidence myself.

Narrator 5: You and your mother look around, stick your tongues out, and go for the wall. Without a moment’s notice, the bellhop rushes back in…

Bellhop: I said no, no, no! What is wrong with you, tourists! I say that it is salt, but you cannot just trust me. People would not be coming to this hotel for miles around if it were not salt! I cannot have the germs of everyone who walks in all over the walls!

Narrator 5: You and your mother apologize in unison, saying, “I’m so sorry, Sir”

Mother and _________: I’m so sorry, Sir.

Narrator 5: and “It won’t happen again.”

Mother and ________: It won’t happen again

Mother: It is quite gross if you think about it! (laughing to the audience rep)

Diaguita: (laughs to himself) Gets him so wound up! I’m sorry, Ma’am, let me introduce myself. I’m Diaguita of the indigenous people’s tribe of the same name.

Mother: Oh my heavens! Are you really? But, (hesitating) you’re wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and a ballcap.

Diaguita: Hmmm… you thought I’d be wearing traditional war paint?

Mother: Well, umm, no.. I mean, I guess that would be silly.

Diaguita: I usually use the traditional clothes for the ceremonies, not everyday.

Mother: Yes, well we were just looking all over for you, traipsing the countryside. I thought for a moment you didn’t exist, that the deputy was just sending me on a wild goose chase!

Diaguita: Looking for me? Why so? Am I in trouble?

Mother: Well, we’re trying to get some information about illegal sea bass fisherman, and we heard you know every fisherman in the country.

Diaguita: Indeed, I’m sure I do.

Mother: Oh that’s great! Do you know of any who may recently have been poaching and selling in the United States?

Diaguita: That, Ma’am, I can’t tell ya. You see the Deputy Chief, he may have sent you on a wild goose chase afterall. I know all about these fishermen because I’m one of them. They trust me. We native people form a close-knit community. If I know any secrets, he knew I woudn’t be telling them. I’m sorry Ma’am.

Mother: Well, that certainly is loyal of you, a good trait. I’m just so mad! We’ve come all this way and we’ve got no clues, no clues at all!

Diaguita: That was deceitful of him. You have a right to be mad. A wise man once told me, “We will forever be known by the tracks we leave behind us”

Mother: Deceitful tracks… I think I get what you’re trying to tell me. Thank you, Diaguita. You’ve helped us a lot!

(mother and audience rep rush off)

IF THE NATIVE WAS YOUR FIRST CHOICE:

Mother: (to audience rep) We’ve gained some important information. Unfortunately, we haven’t found much evidence. Why don’t we try the other option and see if we have any better luck with the fishermen themselves.

HOST: Thank you _________ for being such an amazing audience representative. You may now go back to your seat. Ms. Y is going to pick our next guest actor from the audience who will become YOU in the next scene of our adventure.

(to audience member chosen) Welcome_______. Are you ready? The instructions for you are the same: act along with the scene and repeat any words the narrator asks of you as we go. Got it?

(switch to scene 2a and continue)

IF THE SOUTH WAS YOUR FIRST CHOICE:

Narrator 5: You and your mother get in a bus to go back to Santiago. She seems determined to get back to the deputy chief. When you arrive you and your Mother step out of the bus near the US Embassy.

(go to scene 3)

Scene 3: A Clue

Narrator 6: (pretend to read from CYOA book) Suddenly you look down and see some coins. 10 pesos, 100 pesos, 500 pesos. Then some bills. 2000, 1000, 5000 pesos. It’s as if someone is dropping their money. You begin to pick up the pesos and realize they smell. They smell a lot like fish. Chilean Sea Bass!

Mother: Follow that trail!

Narrator 6: The trail leads you to a building that looks like a television studio with a huge advertisement on the side. Your mother is examining the trail which stops at a door. The door is locked. You on the other hand take a look at the advertisement. It is for a live taping of MasterChef in Valparaiso, one of the most prosperous cities in Chile and an inspirational place for painters and poets. It is for a celebration of Independence Day on September 18th and will be filmed outside among traditional festivities. You motion to your mother to come take a look.

Mother: You think this could have something to do with the trail of money and the illegal Chilean Sea Bass? (says to audience rep)

Narrator 6: You nod and say “Most definitely.” (cue audience rep to repeat)

_________: Most definitely

Mother: September 18th, why that just so happens to be tomorrow! The trans-Andean train stops in Valparaiso. We’ll take it there tonight.

HOST: Thank you _________ for being such an amazing audience representative. You may now go back to your seat. Ms. Y is going to pick our next guest actor from the audience who will become YOU in the next scene of our adventure.

(to audience member chosen) Welcome_______. Are you ready? The instructions for you are the same: act along with the scene and repeat any words the narrator asks of you as we go. Got it?

Scene 4: Independence Day and MasterChef Competition

(Mother and new audience rep enter stage where festivities are getting ready, they take a seat at a side table to watch)

(Some traditional Chilean Music begins and the lead dancer and troupe come on stage and begin a Chilean traditional folk dance: Huasos)

FIRST 1:16 of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjJu9Q4yVJ8

(After the dance, Gordon Ramsey, comes out center stage wearing a chef’s hat and carrying some measuring cups)

Gordon Ramsey: Thank you for joining us live tonight for MasterChef on location in beautiful Chile! I, of course, am celebrity chef, Gordon Ramsey! (pause for applause) We just watched a traditional folk dance called Huasos, and we are now going to bring out our contestants.

(Contestants 1, 2, and 3 enter stage as they are described and take seats around the table)

Contestant 1 is a copper miner from Chile. He says his grandmother was the best cook on Earth and lucky for him, she passed her secret family recipes on to him. Welcome, Emilio.

(Contestant 1 smiles and waves)

Contestant 2 is from Texas. She thought we were making Chili today, but upon finding out we are actually preparing foods from Chile, she so ambitiously decided to take this as a challenge. Welcome, Alexa!

(Contestant 2 smiles and waves)

Contestant 2: Glad to be hear, Gordon! (loud and proud)

Gordon Ramsey: Contestant 3 is a graduate from Harvard in the field of computer science and mathematics. He tells me he has come up with the algorithm for tasty. I guess we’ll see about that! Welcome, Bruce!

(Contestant 3 smiles toothily, laughing at his own joke, and pushes his glasses higher on his nose)

Our competition tonight is to see who can most creatively but subtly balance the flavors of the traditional empanada and the Chilean Sea Bass.

(mother looks to audience rep with excitement)

Contestants, on your mark, get set, go!

(Contestants begin furiously chopping and cooking/ Mother and audience rep take their time sneaking and crawling over to the cart of supplies)

Contestant 1: The key to all of grandmother’s cooking was always in the sweet pickled peppers, you see. These sweet pickled peppers. And you have to slice them up thin like this, and then I am going to hide them in this tartar sauce that will go perfectly as a dipping sauce with the Sea Bass empanadas.

Gordon Ramsey: You know what Emilio… this is a disgrace. It sounds good, but where’s the presentation! Where’s the presentation, huh? (shouting!)

Mother: I’m looking to see where these sea bass were bought (to audience rep, searching the cart for wrappers or receipts)

Contestant 2: My strategy has always been the spicier the better. Bring on the hot sauce! Yee-hah! These fish won’t know what hit ‘em!

Gordan Ramsey: Would you just get in the oven? It’d make my life easier!

Mother: I can’t find any labels!

Contestant 3: I tend to disagree with both contestants 1 and 2. You see cooking is quite mathematical in nature and the most important “ingredient” here of course is measurement and the correct proportions.

Gordon Ramsey: BRUCE! You’re gonna need to pick up the pace! That fish is so raw, it’s still looking for Nemo!

(deputy chief sneaks on-stage from the other way and makes his way to the cart holding a document; he doesn’t see mother or audience rep)

Mother: (immediately, jumps up) What are YOU doing here?

Deputy Chief: (nervously) Uhhh, this is uhhh …Gordan Ramsey! (pointing and jumping) He’s the poacher! He bought illegal sea bass. This is his documentation… it clearly doesn’t have the official Chilean seal … the flag with the blue for the sky, the white for the snow capped Andes, and the red for the blood spilled fighting for freedom, see?

Mother: But why do you have it? Let me see that! (grabs it away)

Gordon Ramsey: Uh HELLO, it’s not like we’re on LIVE TV or anything. Who are you three, and get off my stage!

Deputy Chief: Police, arrest this man!

(Police shuffle on stage and stand next to Gordon; he shrugs them off)

Gordon Ramsey: Arrest me? For what?!

Deputy Chief: For buying and possibly even catching Sea Bass illegally for your show! You poacher!

Gordon Ramsey: I’m rich! Why would I do that? I could buy all the Chilean Sea Bass that is legal in the whole world… on my debit card. Silvia!

Assistant Silvia: Yes, Gordon.

Gordon Ramsey: Did you buy illegal Sea Bass for the show?

Silvia: No, Sir. I have the documentation right here (holds up docs with a seal)

Mother: I’ve seen this writing before. (Looking closely at the fake with a magnifying glass) Messy. Almost unrecognizable.

Deputy Chief: Uh-oh! (trying to run)

Mother: Police! Grab that man!

(Police take him by the arms and start to cuff him while he falls down to his knees in pleading position getting ready for his guilty confession, said so fast he thinks you wont hear the details)

Deputy Chief: Ok, I kinda, sorta have an illegal sea bass fishing business with my brother who owns a market in the United States and I store ‘em frozen on Easter Island because very few inhabitants live there now and I can hide them behind the massive, iconic, Moai statuesssss…

Mother: But why are you trying to frame Gordon Ramsey?

Deputy Chief: He’s so mean; he’s always yelling at people and stuff. And I knew I had to throw you off my track because you were so determined when I saw you so when I saw him coming here for Chilean Independence Day I seized the ever-so-fortunate chance?

Mother: Because we are in front of my child and he deserves it, I would like you to apologize to Mr. Ramsey.

Deputy Chief: I’m sorry? …What can I do to make it better?

Gordon Ramsey: Get off of my stage! Police, take him away!

(they drag him off)

I do feel I owe you a bit of a thank you (to mother) but at the same time I’m airing a live show right now and you are ruining it. So, would you please take a taste of each contestant’s dinner, and announce a winner?

Mother: Hmm.. I think I’ll let my son/daughter decide. (motioning toward audience rep) HOST: ___________ please go around and taste each contestant’s dinner (pretend!) and pick a contestant to win. Audience you may show your favorite with a 1, 2, or 3 on your fingers!

It looks like he/she has chosen contestant ___. Emilio/Alexa/Bruce, congratulations! You are the MasterChef! And now for the rest of you, the audience, we have a variety of Chilean food for you to sample. We hope you enjoyed your adventure today, and if you did, pick up a CYOA book at your local library soon! Thank You!

(everyone gathers to stage center, holds hands, and bows/ Ms. Y begins dismissing Kinder/ and passport stickers passer-outers take their spaces)