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f a video camera had followed you over thelast seven days, what would it reveal aboutyour life? Would it show you were fruitfuland joyful? Overloaded and stressed out? Itmight disclose that you are too busy for yourown good-and it's time to do .something

about it. You 're too busy if . . ,

16 Foc us o n th e Famil y

You feel as thoughyou are constantly trying tocatch up at work or home,

There's rarely a breakin your schedule,

You are regularly late, You don 't have timeto eat three healthy meals a

day , much less one withyour family.

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"The reo..((y id(e m ~ ~ e f s nowhere.The p e r p e f u ~ ( ( y busy m ~

does nof ~ e much fUrfher. "- SirHeneageOgilvie

B U S Y You don't exercise. Your mail is piled upbecause you haven't had time

to open it. Your to-do list is rarelychecked off.

What free time?Perhaps some of thesesituations describe you. If so,you are not alone. I surveyedmore than 300 people abouttheir busy schedules. Seventypercent of the parents saidthey don't spend enough time

with their children; 80 percent of those who are marriedsaid they don 't spend enoughtime with their spouse. Busyness affects your friendships,too -55 percent haven't had afriend over to their home inmore than two months. Andforget about vacation; nearly60 percent haven't had aseven-day vacation in morethan a year.

You can blame busynesson our fast-paced culture,demanding jobs and technol-

ogy that consumes time, butthe truth is that busynesswon't stop until you decideto slow down and reconnectwith the people and thingsthat matter most. Some choicesare simple ones : makingdinnertime a non-negotiableritual in your home or taming your to-do list. Otherchoices are tougher: movingto a less expensive areaso you can afford a lessdemanding job , for example.What could you do differently to slow down?Taming my schedule

One morning severalyea rs ago , I recall thinkingabout how to get unstuckfrom my rut, My life wasove rloaded , yet there wasalways something more todo. I wanted a bit of divineinspiration to help me.

I prayed , then listenedfor God to say something like,"Valorie, don 't wo rry. You 'redoing all the right things. Justbe patient. Less stressful daysare ahead." Confident that Iwas indeed doing "all theright things," what other message could there possibly befor me? I listened for ananswer, and the one I got wasnot what I wanted to hear.One simple word kept coming to me: discipline. - '

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Ten Commandmentsfor BeatingBusynessThou shalt. . .1. Connect heart-to-heart with your family each week.2. Let the Holy Spirit lead you.3. Be fruitful and productive, not busy.4. Take rest seriously.5. Use all your vacation time every year.6. Commit your time off solely to nonwork activities.7. Have fun at least once a week.8. Eat regularly, preferably sitting down.9. Exercise regularly.10. Use technology to gain time, not consume it.

Admittedly, my schedulewas unruly. I managed to geta lot done, but with very littlestructure in my life, I was feeling scattered and ineffective.While I was not excited aboutembracing more discipline, Iknew I needed a change . Thekey to discipline was aligningmy daily actions with my priorities.Fivesimple rules

Here are five simple waysI learned to be disciplinedand intentional about reclaiming my schedule. Incorporatethem into your life to put anend to unnecessary busyness.

I . Learn to say no. Nowill empower you to bringyour schedule under control.You have the right and theresponsibility to decline activities that do not fit into yourschedule or reflect your personal goa ls. What activities doyou need to let go?

2 . Promise little, ifanything at all!You may betempted to tell people you'lldo little things, but when lifebecome hectic, it's far tooeasy to forget what you'vepromised . You 'll have moreintegrity and less stress if youunderp romise and overdeliver. Rather than saying you'llget something done tomorrow, say "by the end of theweek." Then when you finishtomorrow , the other personis de lighted and you 've eliminated the stress of tryingto meet an ambitious, selfimposed deadline.3. Set boundaries onyourtime. To keep your pri-18 Foc us on t h e Family

onnes, you must guard thetime you set aside for them.Have "no technology" periodsin which you turn off cellphones, 1V and computers.Protect time with your familyand friends . And if you'refalling behind, block out aday or a few hours to stopand catch up .4. Don't feel pres-sured to respond imme-diately. When someonemakes a request, don't feelcompelled to give him orher an answe r on the spot."Let me think abo ut thatand get back to you" or "I'lllet you know tomorrow [ornext week , ere.I"will suffice.Especially if you're a peoplepleaser, it is critical that youdon 't answer yes on thespot. You will often end upregretting your commitmentlater.5. Give yourself per-mission to completetasksimperfectly. One of the biggest reasons people procrasti-

nate then spend more timethan necessary on some activities is their obsession withperfection. Live your Godgiven purpose with excellence, but resist the temptationto chase the elusive goal ofperfection. ...Too often, people live by

accident, following whateveropportunities or requestscross thei r path . Withoutclea rly defined pr iorities, it'shard to discern which choicesare best and which are bestleft alone. Spend your time ina way that is meaningful foryou and your family. Valorie Burton is a certified lifecoacb, confe rence speaker andauthor of several books, includ-ing What's Reall y Holdi ng YouBack? and Listen to Your Li fe.Request a copy o Listen to YourLife from Focus 0 11 tbe Family.(Item code POO13 7B. Suggesteddonation $14 )