2012: my very own disaster movie - dare conference 2013
DESCRIPTION
As 2012 started, I was recovering from hip replacement surgery, and looking forward to having my mobility—and life—back. But two months into the year I had to face the fact that my business was failing, and wasn’t going to recover. I had to close it, and quickly. In the process I put five people out of jobs—the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I lost my colleagues, I lost my business, I lost my identity, and perhaps most importantly, I lost faith in myself. In the months that followed, I had constant migraines, started to panic in crowded places, cried an awful lot, gained weight, stopped going out, and felt dizzy every day. All I wanted was to stay under my duvet for a few months, read, watch movies, eat chocolate, and comfort myself back to some semblance of confidence. But that wasn’t an option. I was committed to hosting an international conference in October, so I had no choice but to keep it together, as best I could. I finally found the courage to tell this story at Dare Conference in London, on 25 March 2013.TRANSCRIPT
2012: My Very OwnDisaster Movie
Kerry-Anne GiloweyDare Conference, September 2013
@kerry_anne
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This is a personal
story.
Major plot points
Major plot points
Jan ‘09
First employee is hired
Major plot points
Sep ‘10
Hip surgery
Jan ‘09
First employee is hired
Major plot points
Sep ‘10
Hip surgery
Jan ‘09
First employee is hired
Jul ‘11
Expanded to 5
employees
Major plot points
Sep ‘10
Hip surgery
Jan ‘09
First employee is hired
Jul ‘11
Expanded to 5
employees
Sep ‘11
UK trip
Major plot points
Sep ‘10
Hip surgery
Jan ‘09
First employee is hired
Jul ‘11
Expanded to 5
employees
Sep ‘11
UK trip
Oct ’12
CS Forum 2012
Major plot points
Sep ‘10
Hip surgery
Jan ‘09
First employee is hired
Jul ‘11
Expanded to 5
employees
Sep ‘11
UK trip
Oct ’11
Hip replacement
Oct ’12
CS Forum 2012
RoboHip
!" *+r",-#b," +#rr#'(r
Table of lies
What I said The truth
“I like being a business owner.” I hated managing other people.
“I love my work!” Work wasn’t fun anymore.
“I’m terribly happy.” I was miserable as sin.
“I’m getting closer to my goals.” I couldn’t have been further from my goals if I tried.
“I love my employees.” I’d begun to resent my employees.
I .*&' $#+’' q*-' )(*
The upside of quitting
The upside of quitting
X
Sunk-cost fallacy
Opportunity cost
Sunk-c.t fallacy
“I’ve already spent an hour watching this awful
movie. It would be a waste not to finish it.”
Opportunity c.t
!" b#''," &$"+"
Major plot points
Jan ‘09 Jul ‘11 Oct ’11
Sep ‘10 Sep ‘11
Hip surgery
First employee is hired
Expanded to 5
employees
UK trip
Hip replacement
Oct ’12
CS Forum 2012
Major plot points
Jan ‘09 Jul ‘11 Oct ’11
Sep ‘10 Sep ‘11
Hip surgery
First employee is hired
Expanded to 5
employees
UK trip
Hip replacement
Feb ’12
A TOUGH DAY
Oct ’12
CS Forum 2012
A &*rpr-&-+/ p,(' 'w-&'
Major plot points
Jan ‘09 Jul ‘11 Oct ’11
Sep ‘10 Sep ‘11 Feb ’12
Hip surgery
First employee is hired
Expanded to 5
employees
UK trip
Hip replacement
A TOUGH DAY
Oct ’12
CS Forum 2012
Major plot points
Jan ‘09 Jul ‘11 Oct ’11
Sep ‘10 Sep ‘11 Feb ’12
Hip surgery
First employee is hired
Expanded to 5
employees
UK trip
Hip replacement
A TOUGH DAY
Oct ’12
CS Forum 2012
Aug ’12
Diagnosed with
depression
Major plot points
Jan ‘09 Jul ‘11 Oct ’11
Sep ‘10 Sep ‘11 Feb ’12
Hip surgery
First employee is hired
Expanded to 5
employees
UK trip
Hip replacement
A TOUGH DAY
Oct ’12
CS Forum 2012
Aug ’12
Diagnosed with
depression
Sep ’12
Increasing panic
attacks
I dreamt of escape
But I had obligations
... projects to finish,
... money to earn,
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... a conference to organise.
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I screwed up repeatedly
I bluffed my way through
I blamed others
Why can’tother people
be smartlike me?
A!! "#$ %&#w '( "#$ )*&’+ , '+,A&- "#$ w'(. "#$’- !'(+/&/- 0#r/T# "#$r '&(+'&)+(, +# "#$r f*0'!"
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Your failures My failures
How I see...
Talk about it
Talk about it
When you talk about it, you discover that you are not alone.
S*pp(r'-+/ $#&'
5nding your tribe
A tiny, but quite representative sample of the
people who make up my tribe.
C,"v"r p,(' 2"v-$"&
Procrastinating constructively
Cranking widgets is always an option.
5nding your motivation
Write yourself notesChange how you think about thingsEncourage yourself
Doing scary things
D"+(*"1"+'
CS Forum was a success
CS Forum was a successThis is the face of someone
who has just seen a cheetah
entering the room.
Robohip’s doing okay too
!" 1(1"+' (f r"&(,*'-(+
MAKE IT AFTER ALL2012
You’re gonna
Don’t stop believin’...
