2012 pittsburgh catholic parent magazine

2 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine Catholic Parent 2012

Catholic Parent 2012 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 3

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Inside this issue:6 | Quest for the Holy Grail:Finding it in Pittsburgh’s museums.

8 | The spirituality of sightseeing:What we see is who we are.

10 | Starting college, ending faith? No:Some ways to keep kids Catholic during the years away.

12 | Promises for a single Christian:Marriage prep starts long before you meet Mr. or Miss Right.

14 | Let’s go to confession:Sharing the gift with children.

16 | Making a local pilgrimage:You don’t need to go to Rome – holy ground is right here.

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Vol. 4, No. 5

Publisher | Bishop David A. Zubik

General Manager | Robert P. Lockwood

Editor | William Cone

Operations Manager | Carmella Weismantle

Catholic Parent Project Editor | Mike Aquilina

Associate EditorsPhil Taylor (Special Projects)

Chuck Moody (News)

Senior Staff Writer | Patricia Bartos

Staff Writer | John W. Franko

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Account ExecutivesMichael A. Check | Paul Crowe

Brandon McCusker | Michael Wire

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Pittsburgh Catholic Parent Magazine is a complimentary publication available at all 204 Catholic parishes in the Diocese of Pittsburgh from the Pittsburgh Catholic Publishing Associates, Inc. Paid first-class delivered subscriptions are available.

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Parenting is the work of a loving lifetime. From the moment of conception forward, parents are working at it with God. And it doesn’t stop when the kids are all grown up. This issue is all about making this lifelong task a joyful one.

Cover design by Debbie Skatell Wehner

On the cover...

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18 | Take me out to the ballgame:Make a date for fan-to-fan bonding.

20 | Boarding the ark:A trip to the zoo can be a true adventure.

23 | Going home:What we learn on a visit to a nursing home.

24 | Make room for granddad:Sharing the ABCs of Catholic faith.

26 | New faces on Mount Rushmore? You decide:How one family made more fun for dinner.

29 | Kid’s Corner:Games and a contest!

By DR. GReGoRY PoPCaKI often joke that I’m on a mission to stamp

out date night.Don’t get me wrong. I love getting one-on-

one time with my wife. In fact, as a marriage and family therapist, I would love for you and your spouse to get more regular time alone together, too. I just find myself a little discouraged by the number of couples who save their entire marriage for that ever-elusive date night.

I see these couples every day — in life as well as my practice — as they power through their week as if it were one, long, interminable chore. Couples like this may be highly efficient machines when it comes to getting things done, busing kids to their various activities and checking “to-do’s” off the list, but they never stop to enjoy the life they are creating together or connect in the middle of the life they have created. They’re always wistfully dreaming of simpler times with fewer kids and fewer responsibilities and more ... date nights.

The even greater irony is that when these couples finally do get a date night, they often don’t know what to do with it. Not having taken any regular and consistent time to talk, pray, play or work together, when date night finally

arrives they either sit in an uncomfortable silence, talk about the kids or argue.

When we save our whole marriage for date night, there’s just too much pressure to get everything we need out of the two, four or six hours we’ve managed to squeeze out. The time becomes too loaded with expectations to be everything we want it to be.

There is moreAgain, my point is not to convince you to

give up date night. It’s to realize that there can be so much more to your marriage. Here are some suggestions for getting the most out of date night, and the rest of your life together besides.

1. Bond over everyday lifeLife isn’t a series of chores to power through.

All those chores and activities represent the life you’re building together. Do some of those things together. When my wife and I were dating in college, the dorms were separated into men and women, but the laundry room was co-ed. I’m no great fan of laundry, but all of a sudden doing laundry with my girlfriend was a great opportunity to connect.

I think couples need to hold on to this. Use some of those chores — cleaning up after dinner, folding laundry, grocery shopping

— as an excuse to be together and talk. The kids won’t voluntarily be within 100 miles of a chore, so you’ll get that time to catch up.

2. Do things you already enjoy separately ... together

When I suggest that couples do more together, many times they respond, “but we don’t enjoy the same things.” So what? My prescription? Remember the times it didn’t matter WHAT you did with your partner as long as you got to do it together? Cultivate that!

3. Pray togetherMake a daily appointment to pray together.

Marriage isn’t a finish line. It’s just the beginning where we promise to spend the rest of our lives learning what it really means to love someone. God wants to show you the steps. Give him the chance to teach you by meeting together every day.

Isn’t it time to make a regular commitment to create daily opportunities for connection? It will make all your days and nights — including date nights — that much more precious. Popcak is the author of more than a dozen books on Catholic marriage and family life. He directs a Catholic telephone counseling practice and can be heard each weekday at noon on More2Life Radio. Learn more at www.CatholicCounselors.com.

Stamp out date night? Well, maybe just rethink it



By CHRiSToPHeR BaiLeY

Not long ago I took a friend on a quest for the Holy Grail. It was a big success: we rounded up about two dozen grails in less than an hour.

It helps if you know where to look. We were looking in The Carnegie, the vast museum complex in Pittsburgh’s Oakland neighborhood, which made the hunt a bit easier. You don’t have to look far in any big art museum to find images of the Last Supper or the Eucharist.

One of my favorite places on earth is the Hall of Architecture at the Carnegie, a single gigantic room that houses North America’s greatest collection of plaster casts. These are life-size duplicates of the original monuments, made a hundred years ago so that Pittsburghers could study the whole history of Western architecture without crossing the sea, or for that matter the Monongahela River.

Neither words nor pictures can describe the awe this place inspires. You can follow Western architecture from ancient Egypt

right through to the Renaissance, all at life size. The casts perfectly duplicate every pockmark and grain of the originals. In fact, they do better than that.

In the hundred years since the casts were made, most of the originals have suffered heart-wrenching damage from air pollution, two world wars, vandalism and tourism. But the Carnegie’s casts have been safe in the great space that was built for them. They’re not just duplicates of the originals anymore: in many cases, they’re more original than the originals.

The centerpiece of the collection is the entire west front of the Romanesque abbey church of St. Gilles in France. (You can see photos of the original church online.) The church was built in the 1100s, which — as you can read in my book, “The Grail Code” — was right around the time when Chretien de Troyes was writing the first of the great grail romances. A great wave of Eucharistic piety was sweeping Europe.

Three giant doorways, crowded with sculptures (many defaced hundreds of

The Carnegie’s Hall of architecture allows young visitors to step back in Christian history — and even find the Holy Grail.

The quest for the Holy Grail in Pittsburgh


The Carnegie’s Hall of architecture allows young visitors to step back in Christian history — and even find the Holy Grail.

The quest for the Holy Grail in Pittsburgh

The images with this article are

from The Carnegie.The collection at Pittsburgh’s Frick Museum also features stunning religious art by some of the great medieval masters.

years ago by Calvinist fanatics), lead into the church. Over the doors is a frieze that narrates the events of Holy Week, from the entry into Jerusalem to the crucifixion. Right in the center, over the main portal, is the Last Supper.

The position could hardly be more symbolically appropriate. In unmistakable visual language, the institution of the Eucharist is placed as the central event of Christ’s earthly ministry. It’s also literally the center of the church, as you see it from the front. And by walking in through the main door, you, the Christian worshiper, would enter the Last Supper. You would become a guest at Christ’s table.

By placing this medieval masterpiece of symbolism as the focal point of the Hall of Architecture, the Carnegie has — probably unwittingly — placed the Eucharist at the very center of Western architecture itself. That sounds about right to me.

Bailey lives in Pittsburgh’s Beechview neighborhood. He is author of many books, including “The Grail Code: Quest for the Real Presence.”

“Supper at emmaus,” an oil painting by Pascal-adolphe-Jean Dagnan-Bouveret, dated 1896-97.

all photos courtesy of The Carnegie.


By ReBeCCa RYSKiND TeTi

Shortly before Christmas one year, we took our kids to the battlefield at Yorktown, Va. There’s an enormous earthwork on the battlefield site, dug by George Washington and his men to give them the high ground for a siege. It was fortified during the Civil War, but otherwise remains as it was. You can’t believe people moved that much earth without the benefit of a backhoe.

Even more astonishing than creating high ground by hand, however, are the conditions Washington and his men endured. You’ve read about the boot-less privations at Valley Forge and the dithering Congress that sometimes did, sometimes didn’t, pay the men’s wages. Nothing prepares you, though, for entering the live encampment maintained by re-enactors and seeing things for yourself: the canvas tents, the bare ground, the ration of beans, the cruel 18th-century medical implements.

My feet ached with cold and I had insulated boots and a thick parka, on a sunny day, with an old snow mostly melted away. Did you know that many of the enlisted men’s wives and children followed the army, camping behind the battlefield because they didn’t have homes of their own? How did they endure it, day in, day out? Why did they?

One guide suggested the entire revolution was fought over taxes, and the notion of “freedom” was added in later, to justify the revolt as noble.

It’s possible to know a lot and have no perspective. If he had looked around surely he would have seen the silliness of that argument. No one would endure what those men endured just to avoid paying

a few extra pence, especially not the mostly wealthy men who signed the Declaration of Independence.

The revolution may have been fought over taxes, but what our guide missed is the connection to the founders’ understanding between taxes and self-government. No one could take their property from them without their having some say in it, as every other British citizen had.

When you watch people splitting logs by hand and planing them into boards for houses, as you can at neighboring Colonial Williamsburg, you see how hard our settlers and colonists worked for everything they had, and you get a sense of how detached we have become from the meaning of “property” — what we’ve attained through our honest labor.

We still earn our livings by work, but because payment now comes in the form of a paycheck, we’re fairly removed from the process. Doing everything by hand, you would have a much deeper attachment to your property, and take encroachments upon it as an attack on your person.

So the tax/freedom dichotomy is an anachronism. Our guide’s rather cynical view of the nation’s founding is based on his own — contemporary — understanding and

What we see is

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The spirituality of sightseeing

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utterly misses the point. When you take what a person has worked for without his consent, you’re taking his life and his liberty.

Seeing the abject hardships they lived with, I felt profoundly grateful, and found myself questioning my own attachment to liberty. Could I sacrifice my comforts for it? Would the men who fought at Yorktown and Valley Forge think we were honoring or squandering their sacrifice?

I did not know it then, but I was having an experience that Pope Benedict XVI encourages for all of us. He recently offered three vacation tips. Two you’d expect: he encourages us to renew relationships — with God through prayer and with family by being together. He also suggested visiting historical and cultural monuments, especially churches.

The pope didn’t elaborate, but something he recently said to politicians in Croatia may offer a clue. Speaking of the Christian roots of Europe’s institutions, he observed, “It is crucial to grasp the inner dynamic of an event such as the birth of a university, of an artistic movement or of a hospital. It is necessary to understand the why and the how of what took place ...”

Like my Yorktown guide, we can have knowledge without perspective, he seems to be saying. If we know only a date in history or the fact that a building exists, we are missing what’s relevant for maintaining culture. We enter into a culture by understanding what ideas built it.

“At the heart of all these institutions are men and women, persons, consciences, moved by

the power of truth and good,” the pope said.If we don’t know where our institutions

came from, we won’t be able to maintain them — or influence them for the better.

And you thought you were just sightseeing? You’re preserving a culture.

This column first appeared on the website of Catholic News Agency. Ryskind Teti is a Catholic wife, mom and blogger at faithandfamilylive.com.

on historic local battlefields, re-enactors educate and entertain. Sightseeing, says Pope Benedict, should be a spiritual and cultural experience.

www.zeblove.com


Starting college,

ending faith? No!By GaRY SLifKeY

In a letter dated March 19, 1951, Franciscan Father Brendan Wolf, a U.S. Navy chaplain, wrote to my grandparents upon my dad’s arrival at the Great Lakes Naval Training Center. Father Brendan congratulated my grandparents on their son “representing” his family, and reassured them he would have “all the facilities of the church while he is in the Navy.” Father Wolf also listed the many activities and programs offered to Catholic sailors and suggested that my grandparents in their letters from home urge my dad to “practice his faith zealously.”

Although 61 years have passed since then, I find Father Brendan’s letter applicable today for parents sending their son or daughter off to college.

Many college students today are blessed with access to all the “facilities of the church,” whether they attend a Catholic college or not. Campus ministry programs provide students with an array of activities and events to help them grow in their faith during their college

years. Nevertheless, parents still need to urge their child to step away from the crowd and zealously practice the Catholic faith given to them.

As the Catholic campus minister at two colleges, I would certainly welcome parental support in encouraging students to live an active faith life on campus. For too many years it has been culturally accepted that college students drift away from the faith while they enjoy a new kind of freedom — that it’s OK to drop away from faith when you’re dropped off at college.

Unfortunately statistics indicate that just 15 percent of 18- 25-year-olds attend Mass every Sunday. I am sure a smaller percentage take advantage of spiritual programs offered throughout the week.

Sixty years ago, Father Brendan encouraged letters from home to urge sailors to practice the faith. Today, parents have other concrete ways to support college students to live the faith they developed at home on campus. The following are just a few examples:

1. As a “starting college” gift, purchase a resource that will help them grow in the faith. Besides giving the “Catechism of the Catholic Church,” consider one of the following: “Ready for College” by Michael Francis Pennock, “The Freshman Survival Guide” by Nora Bradbury-Haehl and Bill McGarvey, or “The Notre Dame Prayer

Book for Students Day by Day.” 2. Submit child’s name to “College Connection

for Catholics.” Each year this program sends information to students on campus ministries on their campus. They also send students’

names and addresses to more than 1,100

Catholic ministries and organizations. Anyone

can submit names for this list, but parents should make sure their child’s name is on it.

3. Contact the college to see what time Mass is held on campus or at local parishes and what activities are offered. Share this information with your child.

4. Follow tweets, blogs and Facebook group pages to see what is going on and encourage participation.

5. Contact the campus minister to introduce yourself and your child. Present them with your child’s contact information or even offer to help with a project.

I believe parents desire their children to successfully “represent” their family and grow spiritually during their college years. However, many times they do not know where to turn for help so that their son or daughter stays strong during the ups and downs of college life.

Parents can certainly partner with campus ministers to learn about the available ministry options and regularly encourage participation in them. Doing so can make a great difference in moving both a young person’s faith life and the Catholic campus ministry community forward.Slifkey is director of Catholic campus ministry at Robert Morris University and Penn State Beaver.

Guide to Senior Services 2012 Pittsburgh Catholic 5Catholic Parent 2012 Pittsburgh Catholic Magazine 11


By STePHeN GaBRieLSome Catholics have a vocation to the single life, but most are

called to marriage. So the single life might be regarded as “boot camp” for married life. Indeed, a single Catholic devoted to growing in virtue and self-mastery will substantially increase the likelihood of a successful marriage.

A marriage will succeed only if the husband and wife are willing to sacrifice for the good of the family. Pope John Paul II said in his “Letter to Families” that “every man and every woman fully realizes himself or herself through the sincere gift of self.” What one learns soon after marriage is that this gift of self doesn’t come easily. It’s difficult because we lack virtue. We’re selfish. We’re proud. But our love spurs us on, and we struggle to improve. And with God’s grace we are able to build a strong marriage and raise a happy family.

What does this have to do with the single life? Plenty. If a single man or woman has learned to give of self prior to marriage, it will be so much easier after marriage. If before marriage one struggles to be chaste, one will be better prepared to live chastity within marriage.

Marriage is not only an exciting human endeavor; it’s a spiritual journey. Marriage forces us to expose our heart to each member of the family. We experience joy and heartache. We share successes and failures. Without a deep faith in God and access to the grace made available to us in the sacraments, a family can easily become a sterile group of individuals living together instead of the “intimate community of life and love” that we have been called to be (see Pope John Paul’s “Familiaris Consortio”).

Clearly, the closer one is to God before marriage, the easier it will be to access those supernatural provisions, otherwise known as grace, for the spiritual journey of marriage.

Any serious Christian, married or unmarried, by virtue of the Christian vocation, has made commitments. The overriding commitment is to follow the life and teaching of Jesus. But many other commitments flow from this fundamental one. These range

from the mundane to the sublime, but they are all important and all means to reaching our goal of holiness.

Here are some commitments or promises that a single Catholic might make with an eye toward marriage, a marriage that will ultimately provide him or her with a unique path to holiness:

My personal growth and development1. I will try to develop the habit of saving at least a little every month.

2. I will take the time to read and develop hobbies that will enrich my life and the life of my future family.

3. Workaholism is an unseemly habit for the married and unmarried alike. I will try to remember that my Christian vocation demands a life of service and friendship as well as work.

4. When I am dating someone, I look for those qualities that I’d like to see in my spouse. The acid test should be — would I like this person to be the father (mother) of my children? What are his or her virtues? What kind of character does he or she possess?

My family, friends and community5. I will call or visit my mother and father on a regular basis.

6. I will try to keep in touch with my brothers and sisters, visiting with the ones who live close by and writing or calling those who are out of town.

7. While I may not have been called to the religious life, I have been called to a life of service. Performing the corporal works of mercy is not an option for a Christian.

8. I will treat others as persons, not things that can be used to suit my own purposes and then discarded.

9. I will try to remember that true friendship is manifest by a concern for the supernatural welfare of my friends. The “tactful” avoidance of that troublesome issue that is keeping my friend from God is no way to show my friendship. It is simply cowardice.

Promises for a single ChristianGood marriage and parenting should start long before

you meet your spouse

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10. I will try to be generous with my money, keeping in mind that I am just a steward of the gifts and talents that the Lord has given me.

My relationship with God11. I will continue to study my faith, recognizing that a deeper

knowledge of the faith will help me to know God better and to grow closer to him.

12. I will remember that my social life is also meant to be sanctified. I can have plenty of fun without offending God.

13. As I try to discover my true vocation in life, I will pray to God for light, reminding myself that it is his will that I seek, not my own.

14. I will read the life of Christ in the Gospels every day and try to remember that Jesus speaks to me personally when he calls his disciples to bear the cross daily.

15. I will keep in mind that my Catholic faith is not just a feature of the culture in which I was raised, leading me to participate in certain pious practices. Rather, it is a divine vocation, a way of life that should permeate all of my thoughts and actions.

16. I will try to foster a deep devotion to the Blessed Mother through prayer and study of the doctrine related to her. The daily rosary and other Marian devotions are excellent means of growing closer to Jesus through Mary.

17. I will consult a trusted friend who can advise me on such matters as how I balance my life among work, social life, service and prayer. A good priest who is experienced at giving spiritual direction could help me reach such a balance.

18. I will look for friends who will reinforce the values that I am trying to live. I remember that people can be an occasion of sin. By ignoring this I threaten my faith, my virtue and the success of my future marriage.Gabriel has been married for 35 years. He and his wife, Peggy, have eight grown children and many grandchildren. He is the author of many books.

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Let’s go to confessionSharing the gift with children

becoming Catholic is like being adopted by a wealthy family after growing up poor. I’m still running around the church with wide eyes, like a kid who has been given the keys to a candy shop.

I love confession, and David does, too. But I’m acutely aware that my cradle Catholic children, never knowing another way of life, could easily take the faith for granted. They didn’t make the choice to pay for it. They didn’t lose friends as Kathi and I did; nor did they have people counsel them (as Kathi did) that leaving the family would be better than becoming Catholic.

Sigh. So many misunderstandings, so little time. I’m doing my best to keep the spark of joy alive in my own children, with decidedly mixed results. I mainly rely on prayer and personal example, but recognize my countless failures with regard to the latter (hence my need for confession). I recognize it’s not easy for them, or for any cradle Catholic.

So here’s the challenge, and the opportunity: let’s do our best to appreciate the richness of being Catholic. Despite all us sinners in the pews at Mass — our scandals, our hypocrisy and our lack of charity — our Lord is faithful.

Even the smallest steps toward conversion, including the everyday, humdrum acts of faith we may have learned as children, can be blessed. Despite my sinfulness — and perhaps because of it — I am supremely grateful for the gift of the church and the sacraments.

Lowry is the father of eight children and author of “Faith at Work: Finding Purpose Beyond the Paycheck.”

By KeviN LowRYYesterday, I decided to go to confession at our local parish, and

wanted to take a few of the kids.“OK, who wants to go to confession?” I asked. David, my 8-year-old, responded, “Confession? Good, I need that.”Amen, kiddo.I’m a convert to the faith, and for me one of the most

disconcerting aspects of parenthood is the fact that we’ve got several children who are cradle Catholics. Kathi and I came to the faith by means of discovery, as if after a long and excruciating treasure hunt, but not so our kids. They have grown up in the church.

I’ve often said that growing up Catholic is sort of like growing up in a wealthy family. The riches are everywhere, but they’re more difficult to appreciate if that’s all you’ve ever known. In contrast,


By MiKe aQuiLiNa

Old St. Patrick’s is a hidden treasure in the city of Pittsburgh. Ringed by stone walls like a monastery, the church hides amid long rows of warehouses and shops. Its Strip District street side faces a rail yard.

But inside its walls are paradisal beauties: a sculpture garden, hung all around with diamonds of ice in winter, brilliant with emerald life in spring.

Not two centuries ago, St. John Neumann was pastor in St. Patrick’s neighborhood. He shared a rectory there with Blessed Francis Xavier Seelos. Both were Redemptorist priests. Father John, later to be bishop of Philadelphia, was known hereabouts for his cheer and his charity. Yet, after his death, his flock would learn of the severe penances he practiced, privately, all the while he smiled upon his people and loved them so well.

Such heroic penance seems a legacy of St. Pat’s. A later pastor — Father James Cox (who also ran for president) — installed what stands today as the church’s centerpiece, the sacra scala, or holy stairs. A sign at the entrance tells us we should only ascend on our knees. From the bottom, it’s almost impossible to see the goal. But faith knows: The sacra scala ends at the foot of the church’s tabernacle.

I make a pilgrimage there whenever I can. Many years ago, I took my kindergarten-age son to St. Pat’s, and he eagerly took the challenge of the stairs, racing up once on his knees, offering his prayer, then racing up yet again. Ah, to be 6 again. He was praying, he said, for someone’s conversion.

I know whose. She’s a dear friend of ours. Once I took her, too, to St. Pat’s, and she — a conventional Protestant — described her experience in almost mystical terms. It was an emerald-green day, and she knew the presence of Jesus Christ.

Making a localpilgrimage

immaculate Heart of Mary, Polish Hill.

St. Patrick-St. Stanislaus Kostka Parish, Strip District.

Left: St. Paul Cathedral, front view.

Right: Most Holy Name of Jesus Parish, St. anthony Chapel, Pittsburgh’s Troy Hill neighborhood.


Oscar Wilde wrote that, “Where there is sorrow, there is holy ground,” and I’m willing to believe it. The graces we reap casually today were sown by the penances of generations long before us — butchers and rail workers and washerwomen taking one painful step after another. “We are afflicted in every way ... always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you” (2 Cor 4:8-12).

We each take our turn, like St. John Neumann and St. Paul, making up in our own flesh what is lacking in the suffering of Christ, for the sake of his body, the church (see Col 1:24). We pray sacrificially, we fast, we make pilgrimage and we give alms penitentially — that is, until it hurts. Because then it heals, not only ourselves, but others.

The spirit of penance and mortification is a healing ministry in the body of Christ, and it isn’t optional. The Master tells us that unless we deny ourselves and take up his cross daily, we cannot be his disciples. The church, his people, needs our sacrifices.

And we needn’t knit a hairshirt in order to do our part. An ordinary parent’s

ordinary day is covered with more rough spots than any coarse woolen garment. Each time we wipe up another grape-juice spill, or issue the seventh reminder for a child to clean her room, there’s yet another step on the stairs that lead to heaven.

We can make each sacrifice silently, with a smile, as St. John Neumann did, and we should offer each for a purpose, an intention: that this child might overcome his toxic temper, that the other child might be less lazy, that my siblings will return to the sacraments, that my ancestors may gain release from purgatory, that my far-off descendants will keep the faith.

The holy stairs are arduous. But for the price of a moment’s discomfort, we find ourselves

at the throne of glory, where every prayer must be fulfilled.

We needn’t fly to Rome or Jerusalem to make a pilgrimage. We can take a day trip to one of southwestern Pennsylvania’s many beautiful, historic churches. Old St. Pat’s is one of my favorites, and it’s just a 25-minute drive on a weekend. What treasures are hidden in the history of our local church — our communion of saints.

Aquilina lives in Bridgeville. He is author of many books, including “Love in the Little Things: Tales of Family Life.” This column is based on a chapter of that book.

Photos from diocesan archives

Pilgrim sites in westernPennsylvania

• St. Paul Cathedral, Pittsburgh’s Oakland neighborhood. The mother church of our diocese, it was visited by Blessed John Paul I and Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta and countless others. Mass and events schedule: catholic-church.org/st.paulcathedralpgh/.

• St. Anthony Chapel, Pittsburgh’s Troy Hill neighborhood.The largest reliquary chapel outside Rome, it houses mortal remains of thousands of saints, including the apostles. Tours available: saintanthonyschapel.org.

• Immaculate Heart of Mary Church,Pittsburgh’s Polish Hill neighborhood.Pope John Paul II stayed there, the home of the oldest Divine Mercy novena in the United States. Online: immaculateheartpolishhill.com.

• Prince Gallitzin’s tomb,Loretto, Pa.Demetrius Gallitzin is known as the “Apostle to the Alleghenies.” His cause for sainthood has been introduced in Rome. Online: demetriusgallitzin.org.

interior of immaculate Heart of Mary, Polish Hill.

We can take a day

trip to one of southwestern Pennsylvania’s many beautiful, historic churches.

ENTREES (choose two)

Roast Beef

Fried Chicken

Hot Sausage

Roast Turkey with Gravy

Stuffed Chicken Breast

Glazed Sliced Ham

Meat or Vegetable Lasagna

Stuffed Cabbage

Meat Loaf

Roast Pork with Gravy

Chicken Broccoli Alfredo withBowties

SIDES (chose two)

Baked Ziti

Rigatoni

Mashed Potatoes

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Take me out to the ballgame

Sports make for family bonding, fan to fan

By ROBERT P. LOCKWOOD

My spouse of nearly four decades allows me a man cave. It’s a room with a TV, an exercise bike gathering dust and my chair. On the walls are old photos of Cape Cod, my Old Man’s wooden tennis racket and my late dog’s collar.

My centerpiece is a floor-to-ceiling bookcase stuffed with pictures of my daughter and her kids, icons and religious art, antique tin cans and a few old tennis trophies from when I could move.

I’ve also got three baseballs. One is a

personally autographed ball to me from Tom Seaver, the Hall of Fame pitcher from my New York Mets. With Tom’s signature, he wrote: “To Bob, Go Sox!” It was signed by Seaver in the last year of his career when he was finishing up with the Red Sox. It was meant to be funny as this was 1986 and the Sox were about to play the Mets in the 1986 World Series. Seaver wouldn’t pitch in the series as his season — and his career — ended because of injury.

The punch line is that this was the famous — or infamous — World Series where the Mets forced a seventh game with a come-

Photos courtesy of the Pittsburgh Pirates

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from-behind ninth inning win when a ball went through the legs of Red Sox first baseman Bill Buckner. Sox fans still have bad dreams about that play as the Mets went on to win the seventh game and the series.

“Go Sox” indeed.The second ball on my bookcase is signed

by a bunch of guys from St. Gregory Parish in Zelienople, thanking me for a talk I gave at their men’s fellowship meeting one Saturday morning. They gave me the ball and gas money. One of the best deals I ever got for speechifying.

Baseball stuff is a funny thing. It seems downright silly to somebody who thinks of baseball as paint drying. But when you love the game and everything about it, eyeing a ball that’s been somewhere and done something is a catechesis on how grace builds on nature.

My son and I took a pilgrimage to the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, N.Y., recently. It was our first visit to the town named for the father of James Fennimore Cooper, he of “The Last of the Mohicans.”

The Baseball Hall of Fame is there because it is said that the rules of the game were created by Abner Doubleday based on the game played on one of the town’s Elysian Fields. It’s a myth. But as they say, when myth contradicts less interesting fact, print the myth.

We got into Cooperstown the night before and stayed at a little motel run by an Old Feller who told us the rooms were cash-only and had no phone or a clock. Seemed perfect. He also told us that Walt Dropo stayed there and was a personal friend. I said, “Twelve straight hits in 12 straight at-bats,” referring to Dropo’s record hitting streak, and my son was impressed.

The next morning before heading over to the hall, another Old Feller — from New

Jersey — approached me as I waited by the car. Retired truck driver, it was his first visit, too. “I’m going over with my son,” I said, and I loved his answer: “You’re too old to have a son.” I explained that I was talking about my 35-year-old son, not a little guy, and that made sense to him.

If you love baseball, you will love the Hall of Fame. It’s one of those rare man-made places on God’s good earth that exceeds expectations. I’m in a place where I’m looking at Babe Ruth’s bat with my son, then peering at a priceless Honus Wagner baseball card as if we were viewing the Mona Lisa at the Louvre. I told my son all the old stories about all the old players as if they were personal friends of mine.

I was sitting on a bench when the Old Feller from the motel parking lot spotted me and took a seat. We talked a bit of baseball and then my son came over and I introduced him. The Old Feller began to really chat him up.

Eager to see the next exhibit, I pulled my son away and gave a rather quick good-bye. It was only later that I realized the Old Feller was by himself and a kid — even a long grown-up kid — would have made for good company. Too often I don’t realize the right thing to do until it is too late to do it. Yes, grace builds on nature. And sometimes our nature lets grace down.

The third baseball in my bookcase was hit on “6/13/91.” It was a game-winning home run “hit on the big dimond” by a kid just a season out of Little League — a better ballplayer than speller.

But he went to the Hall of Fame and listened to his Old Man’s hagiography of the game. And that’s all that really matters.

Lockwood, general manager of the Pittsburgh Catholic and diocesan communications director, is author of “A Guy’s Guide to the Good Life” and “A Faith for Grown-Ups.”


By SaRaH ReiNHaRD

Living in a place ripe with great zoos makes a zoo membership a natural extension of parenting in western Pennsylvania. You’re always a short drive from the Pittsburgh Zoo, the National aviary and the Good Zoo at oglebay.

if you find yourself overwhelmed or bored by the thought of dragging your family to the zoo, consider a few ways of changing the traditional look-and-see visit into something more.

Scavenger huntPlan your way through the zoo by giving your

children clues about where you’re headed, like a

Bo

aRding the aRK

A trip to the zoo can be a chance for the family to explore

section or area of the zoo, or what animal gets the prize. a prize can be a piece of candy or a sticker.

Make a list of things they need to find, like three blue things, four foods that animals and humans both eat, someplace to climb that’s not part of a playground.

if you’re organized, type them out and give each of your crew a different set of clues.

Around the worldfind a map of the world and, as you

go through the zoo together, write the names of the animals you see on the continent or country they’re found in naturally.

Animal colorswhat kind of colors could you

create from the animals you’ve seen? for example, an alligator might inspire

alligator green. a rainbow-colored fish might inspire something more creative.

Finding saints at the zooMany animals are used as symbols or

representations for different saints. There are many other saints who are patrons of animals in general or specific animals. Do some background research (on your own or as a family) and find the animals for the saints you’ve highlighted.

Bible animalsanimals were a big part of life in biblical times,

though we aren’t around those animals nearly as much nowadays. Make a listing

of animals you can think of from the Bible, and make an effort

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to tap into one or two of those Bible stories during your zoo visit.

Creation storyPlan your trip through the zoo using the creation

story from Genesis. Start at the aquarium, admiring the fish and sealife, and head around to see the other animals. This could become a series of family adventures at the zoo and even lead to a discussion of how animals are different, how they’re related within different groups and how humans are different from them all.

Reinhard is author of “Catholic Family Fun: A Guide for the Adventurous, Overwhelmed, Creative or Clueless,” and writes online at SnoringScholar.com.

the clean animals and the unclean

... two by two, male and female came to Noah into the ark, just as God had commanded him” (Genesis 7:8-9).

Photo by Rosemary aquilina, BrighteyedBear.com

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By MaRie HoSDiL

At the end of this week we will be losing our house guest, who came last week with the intention of attending a university here. She realized that she is not ready to be so far away from home.

She spoke of her desire not to have to rely on others to come and go, and not to feel on the outside of campus life, both factors of living off campus with our family rather than in a dorm.

I told her that freedom doesn’t come from having a car or living with a certain group of people; it comes from being free on the inside.

“Yes,” she answered, “exactly.” She recognizes a lack of internal freedom and has felt the need to develop that in a secure environment, and not 2,000 miles away from everything she knows.

My approach to life at her age (which is 18) was to screech through life like a car running on only one quart of motor oil. And feeling that it was a great accomplishment to do that.

No wonder so much of my life has felt like rehab.

Leaving the conversation with my young friend, I visited with our 91-year-old friend, Mrs. J, in her nursing home room. Long ago she lost her husband and several siblings. She lost a daughter in 2005, and two years later to the day she lost a sister. Her brother passed away on Christmas Day 2007. She has one sister left now, who lives in Europe.

Mrs. J is losing her eyesight and her vitality. She longs so much to go home. It seems that some elderly people feel that God has forgotten about them or left them behind, much like most people they once knew. Why be left to linger when the desire to go home makes the dead enviable?

I told her what seemed clear to me: The Lord has her still here for my sake. “Patience,” she tells me. Her mother gave her this word of instruction that seems to have carried her through life and is still her support.

Patience. She tells me my children are so beautiful and I must be patient with them.

A visit to a nursing home, and a glimpse of my true home

Indeed. In all of my rushing off, in all of my trying-to-accomplish, where is my focus? Where am I hurrying? To where am I rushing others off? When I push and screech through my days, what is the point? My eternal home is a place of pure beauty, and somehow I am here to figure out how to live there.

And one day, when I am ready, I will go there. And I will finally know fully what home is all about.Hosdil, a mother of two, blogs at Naru Hodo.

GoinG home


By BiLL DoDDS

“Do you know any songs?” I asked my almost-3-year-old granddaughter as the two of us walked hand-in-hand to a nearby store.

“Uh-huh,” she answered.So I started “Itsy Bitsy Spider” and she

joined in, shouting out the next word whenever I paused.

Hmmm … “Father, Son, Holy Spirit,” I said, and she smiled. “Father …”

“Son!”“Holy …”“Spirit!”“Amen.”“Amen!”We shared that prayer a few more times,

and then I launched into an explanation of the Trinity and the history of the doxology.

Yeah, right!What we did do was sing a few rounds about

a farmer who had a dog named B-I-N-G-O.(Looking back, I suppose I could have told

her a little bit about Knights of Columbus fund-raising and volunteer hours of service, but …)

There’s something about making the ABCs of the Catholic faith a part of an ordinary walk on an ordinary morning because — despite it being so extraordinary — the practice of the faith belongs in the ordinary. Between the little spider and the farmer’s dog, there is God. Because there is a God, there are spiders and dogs and granddaughters and grandpas.

Because there is God, there is love.“Religious education” can sound

intimidating, and far worse is “catechesis.” Neither term came to mind as I washed some dishes in the sink and my 6-year-old grandson wandered into the kitchen. He’s

Make rooM for Granddad

used to the fact I tend to whistle, hum or sing absentmindedly, unaware I’m making any noise at all.

“I know that song!” he said, interrupting me mid-whistle. “We have it at church.”

Hmmm … What had it been? Since I presumed (hoped!) his parish Mass didn’t feature anything by Creedence Clearwater Revival or show tunes, then it was … of course, “O Come, O Come Emmanuel.”

He was pleased he recognized the melody. I was happy he was going someplace where it was sung. Religiously.

That’s part of the ABCs, too. We leave Mass, we’re sent, but we take something with us. And we share it. That Advent song — whistled in a kitchen — led easily to a short conversation about Mass, Advent and … naturally … Christmas.

But, of course, how a grandparent shares the faith changes as grandchildren get older. As their questions get tougher. The simple — preschool — explanation, while always true, just doesn’t satisfy the teen or adult. And it shouldn’t.

(It’s so sad to see “raised Catholic” adults who harshly criticize the church as childish because their own religious education ended when they were very little. The works of Aquinas, Augustine and John Paul II are anything but childish. And, also sad, the general public accepts the preschool explanations the “former Catholics” present as the sum and summit of Catholic theology.)

A few points to consider:1. Your little grandchildren are like sponges,

ready to soak up Catholicism as a part of everyday life if it’s visibly a part of your everyday life.

2. Grade-schoolers have figured out the tooth fairy and trolls are baloney and so, naturally, wonder about God, angels, sacraments, saints and much, much more. Were all these also only tall tales for wee ones? Talking with them about the faith can help them, for example, separate the Easter bunny from the reality of the Resurrection.

3. Teens and adults, God bless them, have tough questions about the church. And they should. Many of the hows and whys can be answered. (Thank God for the “Catechism of the Catholic Church,” the Knights of Columbus’ Catholic Information Service and other reliable sources!) But, as you know, at some point the gift of faith and the reality of living with mystery enter the picture.

And one final point:4. At any age, at every age, your grandkids

need to know you’re praying for them. And that you deeply appreciate their praying for you.

Dodds and his wife, Monica, are the founders of Friends of St. John the Caregiver (www.FSJC.org), an international Catholic organization that promotes care for family caregivers.

Sharing the aBCs of the Catholic faith with your grandchildren

“Itsy Bitsy Spider...”

“A B C D E F G...”

“B-I-N-G-O..”

“Father, Son, Holy Spirit...”

“Alleluia, Alleluia...”

“O Come, O Come Emmanuel.”

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By MaRY DeTuRRiS PouST

My family is not usually at a loss for words. More often than not, I’m hoping for a moment of silence, not a reason to add to the chaos. But I was intrigued when I heard about The Meal Box (Loyola Press), a deck of 52 cards with questions to prompt interesting dinner conversation among family members and tips on the back to inspire sometimes-weary parents.

I brought the deck of cards out tentatively, not sure how my family would take to what might feel like forced conversation. No need to worry. It turned out to be a really fun way to get us talking about all sorts of things:

• If you could be born on a holiday, which one would it be?

• If you could carve four new faces into Mount Rushmore, whose faces would they be and why?

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• Suppose whenever you talked it wouldn’t be your voice that people heard — it would be the sound of a particular animal. Which animal sound would you choose for your voice?

• Suppose that 24 hours a day, seven days a week, you had to hear a background noise in your head. This background noise would always be there throughout your life. What background noise would you choose as your very own?

After only two days of this “game,” my kids started asking where The Meal Box was when I sat down at the table without it. And the questions always led to more questions, some silly, some serious.

One of our favorites was this: “If you could build a private bridge or tunnel that would take you directly from your home to any place at all, what would it connect you to?”

We ended up with two people heading to Rome (one directly to St. Peter’s — gee, I wonder who that was?), two people heading to Paris (one directly to the Louvre and the other with a special exit leading to Grandpa and Grandma’s house in New Jersey), and one heading to Walt Disney World. I found it so interesting to hear what my kids would pick and why.

What about that background noise constantly playing in your head? My husband and I both picked the ocean, our teenage son picked his iTunes library (shocking), middle daughter picked the ocean as well, and the youngest picked birds (which we decided would not include crows).

Maybe those questions don’t sound like they’re inspiring any earth-shattering conversations. Then again, they’re not supposed to do that. They’re supposed to

? ? ?? spark fun talk about things we might not otherwise think about. It has

been a great way to gain insights, and, if you’re talking about animal sounds and oceans, it’s really hard to bicker over who should pour the milk or pass the salt.

On the back of every card is “Food for Family Thought,” which includes tips on how to make faith come alive for children, suggestions to talk to kids about favorite holy people, ways to counter the consumer culture and more.

So tonight, when you sit down to dinner, bring this Meal Box question to the table:

“Suppose that, regardless of what clothing you were wearing, you always had to wear a button with a maximum of seven words on it. You can choose the message that goes on this button, but it must be worn at all times. What would it say?”

DeTurris Poust is author of many books.


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KID’SCORNER

Paralympian credits family, Catholic school for his success as athlete

LAWRENCE, N.J. (CNS) — On Brian Siemann’s first day at Notre Dame High School in Lawrence in 2004, Coach Joe McLaughlin invited the young man who required a wheelchair for his mobility to do something he had never before considered.

“You’re coming out for the track team,” McLaughlin recalled telling the then-perplexed student.

Paralyzed from the waist down at birth after a hospital accident, Siemann is a quadruplet, and was joined at Notre Dame by his sisters, Maria, Jessica and Amanda.

What happened since then is history in the making.

After competing in the 2011 International Paralympic Committee Athletics World Championships in Christchurch, New Zealand, the Millstone resident has qualified to represent the United States in track and field at the 2012 Paralympic Games, which began Aug. 29 in London.

He is scheduled to compete in at least six races, including the 100 meter, 200 meter, 400 meter, 800 meter and the marathon, which is Sept. 9, the final day of the games.

“It is a huge honor to be representing Team

USA,” Siemann told The Monitor, newspaper of the Diocese of Trenton. “To me, making the team is not only an honor, but also is a testament to the amount of work that has gone into my training since I began racing.”

He credits his family — his parents in particular — for their around-the-clock dedication, especially on the early morning drives to races or late night drives home from extra practices.

But it is his Notre Dame family, he said, that helped spark his racing career.

Brian Siemann

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