A Pathway to Success for Students who Present with

Social Skill Needs

Ryan Wexelblatt, MSSCamp Sequoia & Sequoia Kids Program

Founder and Director

What we hear from parents

• My child is great with adults and younger children but not with kids his age.

• We were hoping this would improve with age.• He’s very bright but misses social cues.• We’ve spent years in therapy but it hasn’t

helped with social skills.• We’ve put her in activities, camps, etc. but she

hasn’t picked up better social skills from her peers.

What are the questions we need to ask?

• What can we do to help our kids who present with social learning needs?

• What needs to take priority in order to help them achieve for success later in life?

What we need to understand• Social learning needs are a learning issue not a

mental health issue, however the two are intertwined.

• The foundation of social cognitive challenges and how can we teach the foundational skills that are lacking.

• Understand the importance of “learning social” as a necessity for success in life.

• Understand where this information fits in to prioritizing the various and often complex needs of our kids.

What is Social Cognition?• A form of intelligence that for the most part develops

intuitively in neurotypical brains.

• A form of thinking we use whenever we’re sharing space with other people-we think about their thoughts, intentions, feelings, motivations and we read their body language, tone of voice.

• Strong social cognition provides us with the ability to adjust what we’re saying/doing to keep people thinking about us positively.

• Social cognition is the ability to think in a social context.

The difference between Social Skills and Social Cognition

• Social Skills-The “surface skills” we use when interacting in social situations to keep people thinking about us positively (eye contact, shaking hands, taking turns).

• Social Cognition-What we do when we interact with people: we think about them. And how we think about people affects how we behave, which in turn affects how others respond to us, which in turn affects our own emotions*

*http://www.socialthinking.com/what-is-social-thinking/introduction

How do social cognitive challenges present

• Difficultly with perspective taking (understanding other’s thoughts, feelings, intentions, perceptions)

• “Getting the big picture”-Being able to take various pieces of information together and put them together in a way that allows one to make meaning out of what they’re interpreting.

How do social cognitive challenges present

• Initiation of language: Entering and ending conversations and social situations appropriately, asking for help/clarification.

• Abstract and figurative language• Understanding and using humor appropriately• Listening with eyes and brain (what people often

call difficulty reading social cues)

The big picture of social cognitive challenges for persons with ADHD

• Trouble making and keeping friends• Difficulty processing social information in

the classroom, work and social situations• Emotional responses to situations that

are immaturely/inappropriately expressed

What we call needing help with social skills should be called needing help with improving social cognitive ability.

Why kids with ADHD get the short end of the stick

• The more neurotypical you present to others the less empathetic and patient they will be with you.

• Kids with ADHD typically don’t “stand out” in their physical appearance, speech, etc. thus they are likely to have people not be understanding/empathetic of their social learning needs.

In order to assess what type of approach to social learning is required

we need to look beyond diagnostic labels, IQ scores and academic success and understand where one falls onto a

social radar system.

How do we assess social cognitive ability?

The Social Radar

• Is used to describe one’s ability to sustain attention to others and “pick up” the thoughts, feelings, intentions, motivations of others (perspective taking ability).

• Progress is relative to each individual and within the level they fall in the radar. There is no moving up to another level on the social radar.

Social cognitive ability has very little to do with academic ability

• Many highly intelligent people have significant social learning needs.

• Academic success, advanced degrees, or high test scores do not guarantee success in life.

• How many people have you met who are highly intelligent/have advanced degrees yet seem to lack social skills?

What teaching social cognition is

Instruction in these core foundational skills:• Initiation of language (entering social situations appropriately)

• Listening with eyes and brain• Abstract and Inferential Language• Understanding perspective• Getting the big picture• Humor

*Michelle Garcia Winner’s ILAUGH Model of Social Thinking™

What learning social is not

• Rote memorization of “surface skills”• A skill set that can be “picked up” by being

around neurotypical peers.• Something that can be learned by receiving

expected rewards for using appropriate “surface skills”.

• Something that you’re ever too old to start!

What can we do we help to improve Social Cognition?

• Teach how to think in a social context by starting at the root of social learning deficits.

• In the vast majority of cases this will need to start

with developing perspective taking skills and ability to “get the big picture” (gestalt processing).

What can you do to help improve social cognition: Learning to use “whole body listening*”

• The concept that listening requires you to pay attention to someone’s words, eyes and body language (your brain and body need to be in the group when you’re with other people).

• Teach how to be attentive to where other people’s eyes and body are facing. Can you tell if their brain is part of the group based on where their eyes and body are facing?

*From Michelle Garcia Winner’s Social Thinking™ material.

What can you do to help improve social cognition:Developing perspective taking ability

• Teach the concept that whenever you are sharing space with people they are having thoughts about you.

• We can help other people to have good thoughts about us or uncomfortable thoughts based on what we say and do.

• In order to make and keep friends we need to always be thinking about what would make other kids want to be around us or not want to be around us.

• Our thoughts and feelings are not “right” while other people’s are “wrong”.

Terms used to help teach perspective

• Expected behaviors: Things we do or say that cause people to have good thoughts about us.

• Unexpected behaviors: Things we do or say that cause people to have uncomfortable thoughts about us.

*From Michelle Garcia Winner’s Social Thinking™ material.

What can you do to help improve social cognition:Praise and point out the “expected behaviors”

Point out any time behaviors are being used that would help other’s have good thoughts.

They include:asking appropriate questions about someone elsehaving a reciprocal conversation using a flexible brainspeaking in the right tone of voice for the situationinitiating/exiting appropriately with othersemotional responses that are age-appropriate for the situationlistening with eyes, ears and brain (whole body listening)

What can you do to help improve social cognition:Perspective taking:

Being a “thinking of you kid” vs. a “just me kid”

• In order for other kids to want to be around us we need to understand their thoughts and feelings. When we think about other’s thoughts and feelings we are being a “thinking of you kid”.

• When we are only thinking about our own thoughts and feelings we are being a “just me kid”.

• Cognitive flexibility is typically based on one’s ability to understand the perspective of others.

What can you do to help improve social cognition:Becoming a social observer

• This involves being able to pay attention to social situations and learning to figure out what’s happening by making a “smart guess” based on the information you gather.

• Observe groups of kids and ask what they think the kids are feeling, can you tell anything about their interests from what you see, what might they be talking about, do they they seem open to someone new coming into the situation?

What can you do to help improve social cognition:

Take advantage of teachable moments

• Address things in the moment, not 5 hours later when something's no longer relevant.

• The more we can do to provide instruction and guidance in the social learning process in various environments the more effective it will be.

What can you do to help improve social cognition:Teach personal accountability

• You have the ability to influence how other kids think about you. • If other kids don’t want to be around you there’s something you

need to do differently, not expect everyone else to change.

• If other kids are not being nice to you, think about what kind of thoughts they’re having about you. What are you doing to make them have uncomfortable thoughts?

Teaching social is also teaching accountability

The reality of social cognitive skill development

• Improvement in social cognition won’t just happen by being around neurotypical peers.

• Improvement is a long, slow process that comes easier to some people than others.

• Maturity helps but isn’t the cure.• Academic strength or superior cognitive ability

do not equate to improvement in social cognitive ability.

The problem with “peer modeling”• Students with social learning needs are born with

weak social observational skills to begin with. This is why we need to teach how to become a social observer.

• The learning gaps in people with social learning needs need to be taught, we can’t expect kids to figure out these skills on their own and be able to compensate for their weaknesses.

Common reactions kids have to working on social

• I don’t need this stuff I’m going to be a video game designer.

• I have friends, I sit with them at lunch.• My friends are from Xbox, Facebook, etc.• Those kids have problems, not as smart as me,

are weird. I’m not like them.• This is stupid, I know this stuff already.

Where parents get stuck

• Our child doesn’t fit in with kids who have Asperger’s, high-functioning autism, etc.

• His self-esteem is too fragile, we don’t want him to feel like something is wrong with him.

• All the other kids “look” different that her so it’s not the right peer group for her.

• I only want him to be around kids who are neurotypical and he does as well.

Your home is not a democracy when it comes to working on social

• Kids can be resistant to learning social because it can bring up feelings of inadequacy and isn’t as concrete as learning math, science etc.

• Understand what your child’s negativity is about-most likely it’s about having to do something challenging that brings them out of their comfort zone.

• Interacting through a computer screen/video game system is not learning social.

But we have so many issues to deal with!

• Executive functioning skills• Social learning needs• Inattentiveness• Managing behavior at home• Homework• Diet, hygiene..the list goes on

The question becomes where do we start and what needs to take precedence?

The pyramid to addressing the complex needs of children who present with social-cognitive challenges

Academic Skills

Independent Skills

Social Thinking Skills and Socially Related Skills

Mental Health Needs

Executive Functioning Skills

Mental Health Needs

• There needs to be a level of emotional stability that allows for the learning process to occur.

• Consistent medication management is essential. • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has shown good

results in treating a wide range of symptoms and can be a great treatment modality for people with social learning needs.

Why is social the 2nd level of the pyramid?

• In order to be part of a group (academic, social, career) you need to be able to understand and attend to other’s perspectives.

• Academic subjects like literature, social studies etc require perspective taking skills.

• If you have difficulty with social cognition you’re at risk for having difficulty with higher education and employment.

Social Cognition and Sexuality:The most difficult area of social learning to discuss

• Students with social learning needs often “miss” the information taught in health/sex ed classes.

• The social aspects of subjects such as hygiene, puberty, sexuality are typically not addressed as this information is designed for students who do not have social learning needs.

• Developing an understanding of both the spoken and unspoken rules around these topics is critical.

Independent Skills:

The life skills that are necessary to develop autonomy and manage tasks independently

• It’s important to assess what your child could be doing for themselves that you’re still doing for them.

• Lacking independent skills can have significant implications in college and post-high school.

• Developing independent skills builds self-confidence and empowers one to take on more challenging independent tasks.

Executive Functioning Skills• Executive functioning skills describe the cognitive

processes that involve planning, organizing, problem solving, play skills, and much more.

• Executive functioning skills run parallel to the entire pyramid as they have a relevant connection to each level.

• It is clearly possible to be successful in life with deficits in executive functioning skills.

Academic Skills

• Our educational culture views test scores and grades as an indicator of future success in life.

• Success in college requires competencies in: navigating the social world, being able to manage multiple tasks independently, being able to plan, organize and advocate for oneself. (Social, indepdendent and executive functioning skills).

Be realistic about your expectations regarding improving social cognition

• No formal programs exist in higher education to teach social cognition, you have to seek out the information on your own.

• Developing social cognition is a very slow process that involves building blocks to learning.

• Maturity helps but isn’t the cure.• As kids gets older, social expectations increase and

become more abstract.

Key Points

• Stable mental health, social cognitive ability, independent skills and strategies to compensate for executive functioning challenges are more important for success later in life than grades and test scores for persons with ADHD.

• Social expectations increase and become more abstract with age. These skills need to be taught and can’t be “picked up” by most people who have social learning needs.

Key Points continued

• We need to enable independence, not create overdependence.

And most importantly…It’s never too late to start working on any of these areas!

Resources

Visit the Social Thinking website for a comprehensive list of books and materials

relevant to the topic of improving social cognition and to learn more in depth about this approach we use at Camp Sequoia and

Sequoia Kids Program. www.socialthinking.com

Emotional Regulation: Leah Kuyper’s Zones of Regulation

Thank YouRyan Wexelblatt, MSS

Camp Sequoia/Sequoia Kids ProgramWeb: www.camp-sequoia.com

Email: ryan@camp-sequoia.comRyan’s Blog: www.ryanwexelblatt.com

Phone: 610-771-0111 Facebook and Twitter: camp sequoia