2013 key stage 2 english writing moderation · 2013 key stage 2 english writing moderation...

Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013

Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013 1

2013 Key Stage 2 English Writing moderation

Exemplification materials for teacher assessment

Level 6 (annotated)

STA-KS2-WriteMod-An-L6.indd 1 18/03/2013 10:59



STA Key Stage 2 Writing teacher assessment 2013 - Level 6 exemplification.

This document is part of a suite of exemplification for Key Stage 2 Writing teacher assessment which covers Level 2 to Level 6.

2013 Key Stage 2 Writing guidance and the full range of exemplification materials are on the Department for Education website at www.education.gov.uk/KS2.

Purpose of the Exemplification materials Key Stage 2 Writing teacher assessment (levels 2 – 6) is statutory for 2013. These materials exemplify the national standards for Key Stage 2 Writing at levels 2 – 6. At each level, a collection of one child’s writing is annotated to show how the evidence, as a whole, can be judged in line with national standards. How the materials should be used Teachers should use this exemplification for standardisation, as a point of reference when making their own level judgements, and / or agreeing levels during the moderation process. Local authorities will also find this exemplification useful when training teachers and local authority moderation teams as the materials contain examples, with and without annotations. This document contains the assessment focuses and the revised criteria to support statutory assessment, together with the National Curriculum level descriptions upon which they are based. If you have any queries regarding the arrangements for Key Stage 2 Writing or this document, please contact [email protected].



Assessment strands For the purpose of assessing the collections of writing, related assessment focuses have been drawn together into three strands: ■ sentence structure and punctuation ■ text structure and organisation ■ composition and effect. Assessment focuses ■ sentence structure and punctuation

- vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect - write with technical accuracy of syntax and

punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences

■ text structure and organisation

- organise and present whole texts effectively - sequence and structure information, ideas and

events - construct paragraphs and use cohesion within

and between paragraphs

■ composition and effect

- write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful

texts - produce texts which are appropriate to task,

reader and purpose

The criteria encourage positive recognition of achievement in writing. Children do not necessarily develop uniformly across these categories, and the strands allow candidates to consider the relative strengths and weaknesses of a child’s work. When making an overall level judgement, candidates should consider the ‘best fit’ for each collection of writing, taking all of the strands into consideration.

When assessing spelling and handwriting, reference should be made to the National Curriculum level descriptions. When assessing a collection of work, spelling and handwriting should be considered and used to refine judgements but should not be given such weight as to change or define the overall level judgement.



Engl

ish

Writ

ing

Leve

ls 2

- 4 ~

Rev

ised

Crit

eria

to s

uppo

rt s

tatu

tory

ass

essm

ent

Ass

essm

ent

focu

ses

Le

vel 2

Le

vel 3

Le

vel 4

SEN

TEN

CE

STR

UC

TUR

E A

ND

PU

NC

TUA

TIO

N

AF5

V

ary

sent

ence

s fo

r cla

rity,

pu

rpos

e &

effe

ct

AF6

W

rite

with

tech

nica

l ac

cura

cy o

f syn

tax

and

punc

tuat

ion

in p

hras

es,

clau

ses

and

sent

ence

s

P

rimar

ily s

impl

e an

d co

mpo

und

sent

ence

s w

orki

ng to

war

ds g

ram

mat

ical

ac

cura

cy.

S

ente

nces

ofte

n br

ief,

star

ting

with

sim

ple

subj

ect/v

erb

(I sa

t, D

ad w

ent).

M

ay in

clud

e so

me

sim

ple

varia

tion

in s

truct

ure,

e.g

. thr

ough

use

of

adve

rbs

/ sim

ple

noun

phr

ases

(Tod

ay w

as e

xciti

ng...

Yes

terd

ay w

e w

ent..

.red

shoe

s.).

Cla

uses

mos

tly jo

ined

with

and

, but

, so.

Pas

t and

pre

sent

tens

e ge

nera

lly c

onsi

sten

t.

Sen

tenc

es s

omet

imes

dem

arca

ted

by c

apita

l let

ters

and

full

stop

s. S

ome

use

of q

uest

ion

and

excl

amat

ion

mar

ks a

nd c

omm

as in

a li

st.

C

laus

es m

ostly

link

ed w

ith s

impl

e co

nnec

tives

and

, but

, so.

May

incl

ude

com

plex

sen

tenc

es. U

se o

f whe

n, b

ecau

se o

r if m

ay b

e re

petit

ive.

Sub

ject

s an

d ve

rbs

ofte

n si

mpl

e an

d fre

quen

tly re

peat

ed (W

e pl

ayed

, do

gs a

re).

Tens

e ch

oice

gen

eral

ly c

onsi

sten

t and

app

ropr

iate

to ta

sk in

clud

ing

som

e us

e of

mod

als

(can

, will

).

S

ome

sent

ence

var

iatio

n cr

eate

d, e

.g. d

irect

spe

ech;

sim

ple

adve

rbia

ls

(we

play

ed a

fter t

ea...

it w

as s

cary

in th

e tu

nnel

).

N

oun

phra

ses

mos

tly s

impl

e (m

y lu

nch)

with

som

e lim

ited

expa

nsio

n (d

ark

dung

eon)

.

Full

stop

s, c

apita

l let

ters

, exc

lam

atio

n m

arks

and

que

stio

n m

arks

m

ostly

acc

urat

e; c

omm

as u

sed

in li

sts.

Som

e us

e of

spe

ech

punc

tuat

ion.

S

ente

nces

are

mos

tly g

ram

mat

ical

ly s

ound

, e.g

. cor

rect

sub

ject

/ver

b ag

reem

ent;

secu

rity

of te

nse

and

pers

on; c

orre

ct u

se o

f sub

ordi

natio

n.

S

ome

varia

tion

in s

ente

nce

stru

ctur

e th

roug

h a

rang

e of

ope

ning

s, e

.g.

adve

rbia

ls (s

ome

time

late

r, as

we

ran,

onc

e w

e ha

d ar

rived

...),

subj

ect

refe

renc

e (th

ey, t

he b

oys,

our

gan

g...)

, spe

ech.

Som

e va

riety

in s

ubor

dina

ting

conn

ectiv

es, e

.g. b

ecau

se, i

f, w

hich

(b

ecau

se th

e ra

in c

an d

amag

e th

eir s

kin.

..whi

ch w

as s

trang

e...I

f she

co

uld.

..).

Te

nse

choi

ce a

ppro

pria

te w

ith v

erb

form

s va

ried

and

gene

rally

acc

urat

e,

incl

udin

g th

e us

e of

mod

als

to e

xpre

ss p

redi

ctio

n, p

ossi

bilit

y,

perm

issi

on, e

.g. s

houl

d, m

ight

, cou

ld.

S

impl

e m

odifi

ers

may

cre

ate

shad

es o

f mea

ning

, e.g

. to

inte

nsify

or

emph

asis

e (v

ery

larg

e, q

uite

slo

wly

).

Mos

t sen

tenc

es c

orre

ctly

dem

arca

ted,

e.g

. som

e co

mm

as m

ark

phra

ses

or c

laus

es; a

post

roph

es m

ark

cont

ract

ions

. If u

sed,

inve

rted

com

mas

de

mar

cate

the

begi

nnin

g an

d en

d of

dire

ct s

peec

h, c

orre

ctly

on

mos

t oc

casi

ons.

TEXT

ST

RU

CTU

RE

AN

D

OR

GA

NIS

ATI

ON

A

F3

Org

anis

e an

d pr

esen

t who

le

text

s ef

fect

ivel

y, s

eque

ncin

g an

d st

ruct

urin

g in

form

atio

n,

idea

s an

d ev

ents

A

F4

Con

stru

ct p

arag

raph

s an

d us

e co

hesi

on w

ithin

and

be

twee

n pa

ragr

aphs

A

sim

ple

open

ing

or e

ndin

g (O

nce

upon

a ti

me.

..Yes

terd

ay w

e m

ade

cake

s...D

ear S

anta

...A

t the

end

we

wen

t hom

e...)

.

Som

e at

tem

pt to

org

anis

e an

d gr

oup

rela

ted

idea

s to

geth

er.

S

ome

atte

mpt

to s

eque

nce

idea

s or

eve

nts,

e.g

. by

use

of ti

me

rela

ted

wor

ds; n

umbe

red

poin

ts; h

eadi

ngs,

line

bre

aks;

use

of p

ictu

res.

Rel

ated

sen

tenc

es li

nked

by

pron

ouns

or s

impl

e tim

e co

nnec

tives

(The

n th

ey c

limbe

d...S

he p

icke

d th

e flo

wer

...N

ext y

ou s

tir it

...).

A

brie

f int

rodu

ctio

n (o

peni

ng) a

nd /

or e

ndin

g us

ually

sig

nalle

d.

S

impl

e te

xt s

truct

ure

with

an

atte

mpt

to o

rgan

ise

rela

ted

idea

s in

se

ctio

ns o

r par

agra

phs.

Som

e at

tem

pt to

seq

uenc

e id

eas

logi

cally

.

Sim

ple

adve

rbia

ls /

pron

ouns

may

link

sen

tenc

es, s

ectio

ns o

r pa

ragr

aphs

(whe

n w

e go

t the

re, a

fter t

hat).

Som

e lin

king

of i

deas

/ ev

ents

– fl

ow m

ay b

e di

sjoi

nted

or a

brup

t.

A

n ap

prop

riate

ope

ning

and

clo

sing

, whi

ch m

ay b

e lin

ked.

Org

anis

atio

n th

roug

h se

quen

cing

or l

ogic

al tr

ansi

tion,

e.g

. sim

ple

chro

nolo

gica

l sta

ges;

idea

s gr

oupe

d by

rela

ted

poin

ts; s

ubhe

adin

gs.

R

elat

ed e

vent

s or

idea

s or

gani

sed

into

par

agra

phs

or s

ectio

ns to

su

ppor

t the

con

tent

of t

he w

ritin

g in

diff

eren

t tex

t typ

es.

C

onne

ctio

ns w

ithin

and

bet

wee

n pa

ragr

aphs

gen

eral

ly m

aint

aine

d th

roug

h us

e of

ong

oing

refe

renc

es, e

.g. p

rono

uns,

adv

erbi

als,

co

nnec

tives

(Eve

ntua

lly w

e...)

.

Link

s es

tabl

ishe

d be

twee

n pa

ragr

aphs

, alth

ough

tran

sitio

ns m

ay b

e aw

kwar

d or

abr

upt.

Par

agra

phs

or s

ectio

ns m

ay b

e ex

tend

ed a

nd d

evel

oped

, usu

ally

ar

ound

a to

pic,

mai

n po

int,

even

t or i

dea,

e.g

. with

exp

lana

tion,

con

trast

, ad

ditio

nal d

etai

l.

C

OM

POSI

TIO

N

AN

D E

FFEC

T A

F1

Writ

e im

agin

ativ

e,

inte

rest

ing

and

thou

ghtfu

l te

xts

AF2

P

rodu

ce te

xts

whi

ch a

re

appr

opria

te to

task

, rea

der

and

purp

ose

AF7

S

elec

t app

ropr

iate

and

ef

fect

ive

voca

bula

ry

S

ome

awar

enes

s of

pur

pose

with

idea

s an

d co

nten

t gen

eral

ly re

leva

nt to

th

e ta

sk, e

.g. i

nfor

mat

ive

poin

ts in

a re

port;

mem

orie

s in

a re

coun

t; se

quen

ce o

f eve

nts

in a

sto

ry -

poss

ibly

repe

titiv

e or

spa

rse

with

lim

ited

awar

enes

s of

the

read

er.

V

iew

poin

t may

be

indi

cate

d by

sim

ple

com

men

ts o

r act

ions

(The

teac

her

was

nic

e...a

pple

s ar

e go

od fo

r you

...).

S

ome

deta

il in

clud

ed th

roug

h ad

vent

urou

s w

ord

choi

ce a

ppro

pria

te to

ta

sk (a

big

, hai

ry c

ater

pilla

r...M

r. Jo

nes

look

ed c

ross

...be

ars

are

fierc

e...)

.

S

ome

awar

enes

s of

pur

pose

thro

ugh

sele

ctio

n of

rele

vant

con

tent

and

an

atte

mpt

to in

tere

st th

e re

ader

.

Feat

ures

of w

ritin

g ge

nera

lly a

ppro

pria

te to

the

sele

cted

task

, e.g

. use

of

dia

logu

e in

a s

tory

; use

of f

irst p

erso

n fo

r a le

tter;

use

of im

pera

tive

in in

stru

ctio

ns.

C

onte

nt m

ay b

e im

bala

nced

, e.g

. led

pre

dom

inan

tly b

y di

alog

ue.

V

iew

poin

t (op

inio

n, a

ttitu

de, p

ositi

on) i

s ex

pres

sed,

but

may

not

be

mai

ntai

ned.

Som

e de

tail

/ des

crip

tion

of e

vent

s or

idea

s ex

pand

ed th

roug

h vo

cabu

lary

(sim

ple

adve

rbs,

adj

ectiv

es) o

r exp

lana

tion.

Som

e vo

cabu

lary

sel

ecte

d fo

r effe

ct o

r app

ropr

iate

ness

to ta

sk.

W

ritin

g is

cle

ar in

pur

pose

and

inco

rpor

ates

rele

vant

con

tent

to in

form

/ en

gage

the

read

er.

Fe

atur

es o

f tex

t typ

e / g

enre

are

app

ropr

iate

to th

e ta

sk, e

.g. c

hoic

e of

te

nse/

verb

form

; lay

out;

form

ality

. Ide

as m

ay b

e ad

apte

d, e

.g. i

nclu

sion

of

con

text

ual i

nfor

mat

ion

on a

fict

itiou

s ch

arac

ter o

r the

use

of q

uote

s w

ithin

a re

port.

Con

tent

is b

alan

ced,

e.g

. bet

wee

n ac

tion

and

dial

ogue

; fac

t and

co

mm

ent.

Vie

wpo

int i

s es

tabl

ishe

d an

d ge

nera

lly m

aint

aine

d. C

ontra

stin

g at

titud

es

/ opi

nion

s m

ay b

e pr

esen

ted.

Som

e us

e of

exp

ert c

omm

ent m

ay b

e us

ed to

sug

gest

cre

dibi

lity

(rab

bits

are

pop

ular

pet

s be

caus

e th

ey c

an

live

outd

oors

in a

ll w

eath

er).

Idea

s an

d ev

ents

dev

elop

ed th

roug

h so

me

delib

erat

e se

lect

ion

of

phra

ses

and

voca

bula

ry, e

.g. t

echn

ical

term

inol

ogy;

viv

id la

ngua

ge;

wor

d ch

oice

for e

ffect

or e

mph

asis

.

Som

e us

e of

sty

listic

feat

ures

sup

port

purp

ose,

e.g

. for

mal

/info

rmal

vo

cabu

lary

; app

ropr

iate

use

of s

imile

s.



Engl

ish

Writ

ing

Leve

ls 4

- 6

~ R

evis

ed C

riter

ia to

sup

port

sta

tuto

ry a

sses

smen

t A

sses

smen

t fo

cuse

s

Leve

l 4

Leve

l 5

Leve

l 6

SEN

TEN

CE

STR

UC

TUR

E A

ND

PU

NC

TUA

TIO

N

AF5

V

ary

sent

ence

s fo

r cla

rity,

pu

rpos

e &

effe

ct

AF6

W

rite

with

tech

nica

l ac

cura

cy o

f syn

tax

and

punc

tuat

ion

in p

hras

es,

clau

ses

and

sent

ence

s

S

ente

nces

are

mos

tly g

ram

mat

ical

ly s

ound

, e.g

. cor

rect

sub

ject

/ver

b ag

reem

ent;

secu

rity

of te

nse

and

pers

on; c

orre

ct u

se o

f sub

ordi

natio

n.

S

ome

varia

tion

in s

ente

nce

stru

ctur

e th

roug

h a

rang

e of

ope

ning

s, e

.g.

adve

rbia

ls (s

ome

time

late

r, as

we

ran,

onc

e w

e ha

d ar

rived

...),

subj

ect

refe

renc

e (th

ey, t

he b

oys,

our

gan

g...)

, spe

ech.

Som

e va

riety

in s

ubor

dina

ting

conn

ectiv

es, e

.g. b

ecau

se, i

f, w

hich

(b

ecau

se th

e ra

in c

an d

amag

e th

eir s

kin.

..whi

ch w

as s

trang

e...I

f she

co

uld.

..).

Te

nse

choi

ce a

ppro

pria

te w

ith v

erb

form

s va

ried

and

gene

rally

acc

urat

e,

incl

udin

g th

e us

e of

mod

als

to e

xpre

ss p

redi

ctio

n, p

ossi

bilit

y, p

erm

issi

on,

e.g.

sho

uld,

mig

ht, c

ould

.

Sim

ple

mod

ifier

s m

ay c

reat

e sh

ades

of m

eani

ng, e

.g. t

o in

tens

ify o

r em

phas

ise

(ver

y la

rge,

qui

te s

low

ly).

M

ost s

ente

nces

cor

rect

ly d

emar

cate

d, e

.g. s

ome

com

mas

mar

k ph

rase

s or

cla

uses

; apo

stro

phes

mar

k co

ntra

ctio

ns. I

f use

d, in

verte

d co

mm

as

dem

arca

te th

e be

ginn

ing

and

end

of d

irect

spe

ech,

cor

rect

ly o

n m

ost

occa

sion

s.

V

arie

ty in

sen

tenc

e le

ngth

, stru

ctur

e an

d su

bjec

t to

help

exp

and

idea

s,

conv

ey k

ey is

sues

/fact

s or

pro

vide

em

phas

is, d

etai

l and

des

crip

tion.

Diff

eren

t sen

tenc

e ty

pes,

e.g

. que

stio

ns, d

irect

/ re

porte

d sp

eech

, co

mm

ands

(Tur

n up

side

dow

n) u

sed

appr

opria

tely

.

A w

ider

rang

e of

sub

ordi

natin

g co

nnec

tives

(whi

lst,

until

, des

pite

) with

po

ssib

le u

se o

f sev

eral

sub

ordi

nate

cla

uses

to a

id e

cono

my

of

expr

essi

on (B

ecau

se o

f the

ir co

urag

eous

effo

rts, a

ll of

the

pass

enge

rs

wer

e sa

ved,

whi

ch w

as n

othi

ng s

hort

of a

mira

cle.

.. ‘W

hils

t und

er m

y ro

of, y

ou w

ill o

bey

my

rule

s, w

hich

are

cle

arly

dis

play

ed’).

Em

phas

is m

ay b

e cr

eate

d th

roug

h w

ord

orde

r and

acc

urat

e us

e of

ve

rb p

hras

es, i

nclu

ding

the

pass

ive

voic

e w

here

app

ropr

iate

(the

ce

ntre

has

bee

n vi

site

d of

ten)

.

A ra

nge

of v

erb

form

s de

velo

ps m

eani

ng, a

nd a

ppro

pria

te te

nse

choi

ce

is m

aint

aine

d (it

will

pro

babl

y le

ave

of it

s ow

n ac

cord

...w

e co

uld

catc

h a

late

r tra

in, b

ut w

ill w

e ar

rive

on ti

me?

).

M

odifi

ers

cont

ribut

e to

sha

des

of m

eani

ng, e

.g. a

dver

bs (e

xtre

mel

y).

R

ange

of p

unct

uatio

n us

ed, a

lmos

t alw

ays

corr

ectly

, e.g

. com

mas

m

ark

phra

ses

and

clau

ses,

bra

cket

s, d

ashe

s.

C

ontro

lled

use

of a

var

iety

of s

impl

e an

d m

ore

com

plex

sen

tenc

es

cont

ribut

es to

cla

rity

of p

urpo

se a

nd o

vera

ll ef

fect

on

the

read

er.

A

rang

e of

sen

tenc

e fe

atur

es a

re u

sed

to g

ive

clar

ity o

r em

phas

is o

f m

eani

ng, e

.g. f

ront

ed a

dver

bial

s (A

s a

cons

eque

nce

of...

Gla

ncin

g

b

ackw

ards

...S

ome

wee

ks la

ter..

.), c

ompl

ex n

oun

phra

ses

(The

m

yste

rious

you

ng g

irl in

the

portr

ait..

.), p

repo

sitio

nal p

hras

es (F

rom

b

ehin

d th

e bi

ke s

hed.

..In

the

even

t of..

.).

S

ubor

dina

ting

conn

ectiv

es m

ay b

e m

anip

ulat

ed fo

r em

phas

is o

r to

nom

inal

ise

for s

ucci

nctn

ess

(Bec

ause

of t

hat,

he fa

iled.

).

Ver

b fo

rms

are

mos

tly c

ontro

lled

and

sele

cted

to c

onve

y pr

ecis

ion

of

mea

ning

(It w

ould

be

help

ful i

f you

cou

ld le

t me

know

, as

this

will

ena

ble

me

to ta

ke fu

rther

act

ion)

.

Mod

ifier

s ar

e us

ed to

qua

lify,

inte

nsify

or e

mph

asis

e (e

xcep

tiona

l res

ult,

insi

gnifi

cant

am

ount

).

Syn

tax

and

full

rang

e of

pun

ctua

tion

are

cons

iste

ntly

acc

urat

e in

a

var

iety

of s

ente

nce

stru

ctur

es, w

ith o

ccas

iona

l err

ors

in a

mbi

tious

s

truct

ures

.

TEXT

ST

RU

CTU

RE

AN

D

OR

GA

NIS

ATI

ON

A

F3

Org

anis

e an

d pr

esen

t who

le

text

s ef

fect

ivel

y, s

eque

ncin

g an

d st

ruct

urin

g in

form

atio

n,

idea

s an

d ev

ents

A

F4

Con

stru

ct p

arag

raph

s an

d us

e co

hesi

on w

ithin

and

be

twee

n pa

ragr

aphs

A

n ap

prop

riate

ope

ning

and

clo

sing

, whi

ch m

ay b

e lin

ked.

Org

anis

atio

n th

roug

h se

quen

cing

or l

ogic

al tr

ansi

tion,

e.g

. sim

ple

chro

nolo

gica

l sta

ges;

idea

s gr

oupe

d by

rela

ted

poin

ts; s

ubhe

adin

gs.

R

elat

ed e

vent

s or

idea

s or

gani

sed

into

par

agra

phs

or s

ectio

ns to

sup

port

the

cont

ent o

f the

writ

ing

in d

iffer

ent t

ext t

ypes

.

Con

nect

ions

with

in a

nd b

etw

een

para

grap

hs g

ener

ally

mai

ntai

ned

thro

ugh

use

of o

ngoi

ng re

fere

nces

, e.g

. pro

noun

s, a

dver

bial

s,

conn

ectiv

es (E

vent

ually

we.

..).

Li

nks

esta

blis

hed

betw

een

para

grap

hs, a

lthou

gh tr

ansi

tions

may

be

awkw

ard

or a

brup

t.

P

arag

raph

s or

sec

tions

may

be

exte

nded

and

dev

elop

ed, u

sual

ly a

roun

d a

topi

c, m

ain

poin

t, ev

ent,

or id

ea, e

.g. w

ith e

xpla

natio

n, c

ontra

st,

addi

tiona

l det

ail.

O

vera

ll or

gani

satio

n of

text

is s

uppo

rted

by p

arag

raph

s or

sec

tions

w

hich

ena

ble

cohe

rent

dev

elop

men

t and

con

trol o

f con

tent

acr

oss

the

text

.

Rel

atio

nshi

ps b

etw

een

para

grap

hs o

r sec

tions

giv

e st

ruct

ure

to th

e w

hole

text

, e.g

. lin

ks m

ake

stru

ctur

e be

twee

n to

pics

cle

ar; c

onne

ctio

ns

betw

een

open

ing

and

endi

ng.

S

eque

ncin

g an

d st

ruct

ured

org

anis

atio

n of

par

agra

phs

and

/ or

sect

ions

con

tribu

tes

to o

vera

ll ef

fect

iven

ess

of te

xt.

In

form

atio

n / e

vent

s de

velo

ped

in d

epth

with

in s

ome

para

grap

hs a

nd /

or s

ectio

ns.

S

ome

shap

ing

of p

arag

raph

s m

ay b

e ev

iden

t to

high

light

or p

riorit

ise

info

rmat

ion,

pro

vide

chr

onol

ogic

al li

nks,

bui

ld te

nsio

n or

inte

rject

co

mm

ent o

r ref

lect

ion.

A ra

nge

of c

ohes

ive

devi

ces

used

to d

evel

op o

r ela

bora

te id

eas

both

w

ithin

and

bet

wee

n pa

ragr

aphs

, e.g

. pro

noun

s; a

dver

bial

s;

conn

ectiv

es; s

ubje

ct s

peci

fic v

ocab

ular

y; p

hras

es o

r cha

ins

of

refe

renc

e (H

owev

er, i

t sho

uld

be s

tate

d...B

iolo

gica

l cha

nges

...D

espi

te

thei

r her

oic

effo

rts...

).

O

vera

ll or

gani

satio

n of

the

text

is c

ontro

lled

to ta

ke a

ccou

nt o

f the

re

ader

’s p

ossi

ble

reac

tion

/ que

stio

ns /

opin

ion,

e.g

. use

of f

lash

back

in

narr

ativ

e; p

laci

ng o

f inf

orm

atio

n ac

cord

ing

to im

porta

nce;

bal

anci

ng

pers

pect

ives

or p

oint

s of

vie

w; s

eque

ncin

g of

eve

nts

or id

eas.

A ra

nge

of fe

atur

es a

re u

sed

to in

form

the

read

er o

f the

ove

rall

dire

ctio

n of

the

writ

ing,

e.g

. ope

ning

par

agra

phs

clea

rly in

trodu

ce th

emes

or

crea

te in

tere

st; w

ithho

ldin

g of

info

rmat

ion

for e

ffect

; par

agra

ph o

r se

nten

ce m

arke

rs; r

efer

ence

s lin

k in

form

atio

n / i

deas

acr

oss

the

text

.

Som

e pa

ragr

aphs

and

/ or

sec

tions

are

sha

ped

and

deve

lope

d to

su

ppor

t mea

ning

and

pur

pose

, e.g

. prio

rity

subj

ects

/ ev

ents

/ id

eas

deve

lope

d in

gre

ater

det

ail a

nd d

epth

.

A ra

nge

of c

ohes

ive

devi

ces

cont

ribut

e to

the

effe

ct o

f the

text

on

the

read

er a

nd th

e pl

acin

g of

em

phas

is fo

r im

pact

, e.g

. pre

cise

adv

erbi

als

as s

ente

nce

star

ters

; a ra

nge

of a

ppro

pria

te c

onne

ctiv

es; s

ubje

ct

spec

ific

voca

bula

ry; s

elec

t use

of p

rono

un re

fere

ncin

g; c

ompl

ex n

oun

phra

ses;

pre

posi

tiona

l phr

ases

.

CO

MPO

SITI

ON

A

ND

EFF

ECT

AF1

W

rite

imag

inat

ive,

in

tere

stin

g an

d th

ough

tful

text

s A

F2

Pro

duce

text

s w

hich

are

ap

prop

riate

to ta

sk, r

eade

r an

d pu

rpos

e A

F7

Sel

ect a

ppro

pria

te a

nd

effe

ctiv

e vo

cabu

lary

W

ritin

g is

cle

ar in

pur

pose

and

inco

rpor

ates

rele

vant

con

tent

to in

form

/ en

gage

the

read

er.

Fe

atur

es o

f tex

t typ

e / g

enre

are

app

ropr

iate

to th

e ta

sk, e

.g. c

hoic

e of

te

nse

/ ver

b fo

rm; l

ayou

t; fo

rmal

ity. I

deas

may

be

adap

ted,

e.g

. inc

lusi

on

of c

onte

xtua

l inf

orm

atio

n on

a fi

ctiti

ous

char

acte

r or t

he u

se o

f quo

tes

with

in a

repo

rt.

C

onte

nt is

bal

ance

d, e

.g. b

etw

een

actio

n an

d di

alog

ue; f

act a

nd

com

men

t.

V

iew

poin

t is

esta

blis

hed

and

gene

rally

mai

ntai

ned.

Con

trast

ing

attit

udes

/ op

inio

ns m

ay b

e pr

esen

ted.

Som

e us

e of

exp

ert c

omm

ent m

ay b

e us

ed

to s

ugge

st c

redi

bilit

y (r

abbi

ts a

re p

opul

ar p

ets

beca

use

they

can

live

ou

tdoo

rs in

all

wea

ther

).

Id

eas

and

even

ts d

evel

oped

thro

ugh

som

e de

liber

ate

sele

ctio

n of

ph

rase

s an

d vo

cabu

lary

, e.g

. tec

hnic

al te

rmin

olog

y; v

ivid

lang

uage

; wor

d ch

oice

for e

ffect

or e

mph

asis

.

Som

e us

e of

sty

listic

feat

ures

sup

port

purp

ose,

e.g

. for

mal

/ in

form

al

voca

bula

ry; a

ppro

pria

te u

se o

f sim

iles.

P

urpo

se o

f writ

ing

is c

lear

and

gen

eral

ly m

aint

aine

d w

ith s

ome

effe

ctiv

e se

lect

ion

and

plac

ing

of c

onte

nt to

info

rm /

enga

ge th

e re

ader

.

Feat

ures

of s

elec

ted

form

are

cle

arly

est

ablis

hed,

e.g

. app

ropr

iate

se

lect

ion

and

varia

tion

of te

nse;

cho

ice

of p

erso

n; le

vel o

f for

mal

ity;

adap

tatio

n of

con

tent

for g

enre

and

aud

ienc

e.

C

onte

nt is

bal

ance

d an

d co

ntro

lled

with

som

e ef

fect

ive

sele

ctio

n an

d or

derin

g of

text

to e

ngag

e th

e re

ader

, e.g

. pla

cem

ent o

f sig

nific

ant

idea

/eve

nt fo

r em

phas

is; r

efle

ctiv

e co

mm

ent;

opin

ion;

dia

logu

e...

Est

ablis

hed

and

cont

rolle

d vi

ewpo

int w

ith s

ome

deve

lopm

ent o

f op

inio

n, a

ttitu

de, p

ositi

on o

r sta

nce.

Idea

s an

d ev

ents

dev

elop

ed th

roug

h el

abor

atio

n, n

omin

alis

atio

n, a

nd

imag

inat

ive

deta

il, e

.g. e

xpan

sion

of k

ey e

vent

s / d

etai

led

char

acte

risat

ion.

Voc

abul

ary

pred

omin

antly

app

ropr

iate

to te

xt ty

pe a

nd g

enre

. Pre

cise

w

ord

choi

ce m

ay c

reat

e im

pact

and

aug

men

t mea

ning

.

Var

ied

styl

istic

feat

ures

may

sup

port

both

pur

pose

and

effe

ct, e

.g.

allit

erat

ion,

met

apho

rs, p

uns,

em

otiv

e ph

rase

s.

C

onfid

ent,

imag

inat

ive

treat

men

t of s

ubje

ct /

mat

eria

l, th

ough

not

alw

ays

succ

essf

ul. W

ritin

g ge

nera

lly a

dapt

ed a

ppro

pria

tely

to d

iffer

ent f

orm

s,

purp

oses

and

aud

ienc

e, e

.g. a

per

suas

ive

spee

ch th

at s

hock

s th

e lis

tene

r; a

narr

ativ

e th

at fo

cuse

s on

the

perp

etra

tor’s

per

spec

tive;

a

mag

azin

e co

lum

n th

at is

use

d to

com

men

t on

mor

al /

soci

al is

sues

.

Var

ying

leve

ls o

f for

mal

ity a

re a

dopt

ed a

ccor

ding

to p

urpo

se a

nd

audi

ence

, e.g

. app

ropr

iate

use

of c

ontro

lled

info

rmal

ity; i

mpe

rson

al

cons

truct

ions

; shi

fts b

etw

een

form

al n

arra

tive

and

info

rmal

dia

logu

e.

V

iew

poin

t con

veys

an

indi

vidu

al v

oice

and

is g

ener

ally

sus

tain

ed

thro

ugho

ut a

pie

ce, e

.g. a

utho

ritat

ive

expe

rt vi

ew; c

onvi

ncin

g ch

arac

teris

atio

n; o

ppos

ing

opin

ions

.

Idea

s ar

e de

velo

ped

thro

ugh

cont

rolle

d us

e of

ela

bora

tion,

no

min

alis

atio

n an

d im

agin

ativ

e de

tail,

e.g

. inf

luen

ce o

f ear

ly c

hild

hood

on

cha

ract

er’s

late

r act

ions

.

Voc

abul

ary

is v

arie

d, p

reci

se a

nd o

ften

ambi

tious

.

A ra

nge

of s

tylis

tic fe

atur

es c

ontri

bute

to th

e ef

fect

of t

he te

xt, e

.g.

rhet

oric

al q

uest

ions

; rep

etiti

on fo

r effe

ct; f

igur

ativ

e la

ngua

ge.



National Curriculum level descriptions National Curriculum level descriptions are on the Department’s website at http://www.education.gov.uk/schools/teachingandlearning/curriculum/primary/b00198874/english/attainment/en3.

Level 2

Pupils' writing communicates meaning in both narrative and non-narrative forms, using appropriate and interesting vocabulary, and showing some awareness of the reader. Ideas are developed in a sequence of sentences, sometimes demarcated by capital letters and full stops. Simple, monosyllabic words are usually spelt correctly, and where there are inaccuracies the alternative is phonetically plausible. In handwriting, letters are accurately formed and consistent in size.

Level 3

Pupils' writing is often organised, imaginative and clear. The main features of different forms of writing are used appropriately, beginning to be adapted to different readers. Sequences of sentences extend ideas logically and words are chosen for variety and interest. The basic grammatical structure of sentences is usually correct. Spelling is usually accurate, including that of common, polysyllabic words. Punctuation to mark sentences - full stops, capital letters and question marks - is used accurately. Handwriting is joined and legible.

Level 4

Pupils' writing in a range of forms is lively and thoughtful. Ideas are often sustained and developed in interesting ways and organised appropriately for the purpose of the reader. Vocabulary choices are often adventurous and words are used for effect. Pupils are beginning to use grammatically complex sentences, extending meaning. Spelling, including that of polysyllabic words that conform to regular patterns, is generally accurate. Full stops, capital letters and question marks are used correctly, and pupils are beginning to use punctuation within the sentence. Handwriting style is fluent, joined and legible.

Level 5

Pupils' writing is varied and interesting, conveying meaning clearly in a range of forms for different readers, using a more formal style where appropriate. Vocabulary choices are imaginative and words are used precisely. Simple and complex sentences are organised into paragraphs. Words with complex regular patterns are usually spelt correctly. A range of punctuation, including commas, apostrophes and inverted commas, is usually used accurately. Handwriting is joined, clear and fluent and, where appropriate, is adapted to a range of tasks.

Level 6

Pupils' writing often engages and sustains the reader's interest, showing some adaptation of style and register to different forms, including using an impersonal style where appropriate. Pupils use a range of sentence structures and varied vocabulary to create effects. Spelling is generally accurate, including that of irregular words. Handwriting is neat and legible. A range of punctuation is usually used correctly to clarify meaning, and ideas are organised into paragraphs.




Key Stage 2 Writing teacher assessment

- Exemplification

Level 6

Collection 1

1. Commentary

2. Letter

3. Narrative

4. Report



Level 6 Collection 1 Piece 1


The Dive: Tom Daley

As he awaits his name to be called out of the

booming speakers, Tom encourages himself with

warming thoughts: ‘Dream and believe’; ‘Keep

calm’; ‘I’ve trained as hard as I can’; ‘That’s all

that counts’; ‘I’ll give it all I’ve got’.

Then... “Tom Daley for Great Britain!” He inhales

deeply and exits the changing room to be

confronted by a cheering crowd and tumulteus

applause.

Tensly, yet calmly he strides over to the bottom

of the ladder, his eyes full of nervous hope and

determination. He snaps a glance at his coach

who mouths a good luck at him. The aroma of

claurine fills the air whilst sweat drips down his

goose bumped arms. “Go Tom!” roars the crowd.

Everyone can sense the feelings of joy and

anticipation hitting Tom simultaneously; the climb

begins. Emerging at the top of the ladder – very

smoothly and calmly – he carefully stands up and

takes a deep breath of the still, chemical air. He

prepares to dive. Staring straight ahead, perfectly

upright, his heart thumps hard against his

In this piece of independent writing, children were asked to capture the strength of character, atmosphere and tension witnessed in an Olympic event. The piece was completed in a single, extended session.

Expanded noun phrase creates atmosphere (SSP)

Clipped clauses provide succinct character insight (SSP)

Connectives varied (SSP)

Semi colon supports build up of tension (SSP)

Use of dashes to embed adverbial phrase (SSP)

Opening paragraph structures brief character profile (TSO)

Detailed elaboration gives depth to paragraphs (TSO)

Continued






ribcage, as wild horses stampede through his

chest.

“Come on Tom!” A familiar voice calls from the

crowd; he thinks it might be his mum. Shutting all

thoughts down, he hears the commentator asking

for silence and the last few claps die away. Tom

stands on the balls of his feet right at the edge of

the diving board; a hawk waiting to swoop down

on his ice blue prey.

Filled with strength, his whole body rises slightly,

his arms in the air, making a Y shape.

Adreneline. Silence. Dive. Flip. Splash. Six flips

and whoosh! Straight in. Air and water scream in

his ears on the way down. Complete silence. No

one to be seen beneath the blanket of water.

Above, everyone draws their breath.

His head emerges and the stadium rings with

applause. Pride fills both Tom and his coach’s

heart.

“Dream and believe!” He shouts.

Figurative language (CE)

Contrast of direct speech and reported thought (SSP)

Modifiers aid precision (SSP)

Word sentences create dramatic impact (SSP)

Pronouns accentuate contrast (SSP)

Direct link to opening paragraph (TSO)

Sequence of events amplifies pace and action (TSO)

Continued






Commentary

Sentence Structure and Punctuation (SSP)

Text Structure and Organisation (TSO)

Composition and Effect (CE)

Sentence length and structure is varied.

Single word, noun sentences used as stylistic device to convey tension.

A range of adverbials (Tensly, yet calmly) and connectives provide additional detail of description and thought.

Accurate use of a full range of punctuation supports purpose and clarity.

The piece effectively interweaves a sequence of actions with associated reaction and comment.

Individual paragraphs are shaped to support the overall purpose and to create emphasis, using a range of cohesive devices, e.g. the treatment of silence and noise.

The sequences of thought and action help to engage the reader and control the pace through the text.

The brief concluding paragraph acts as a powerful link to bind the entire piece.

A tangible sense of atmosphere is created in this piece, as the writer moves from initial expectation, to the tension of live action, and the eventual euphoria of both crowd and diver.

Viewpoint is delivered through multiple perspectives: that of the crowd, the coach, and Tom himself.

Vivid and precise vocabulary (anticipation; emerging) combine with figurative language to present a convincing and compelling commentary.






Metalallergy House Rubber Street

Plastico PC5 RU1

3rd May 2012

Dear Sir

I am writing to complain about your tinned

macaroni cheese. Unfortunately, in the last tin I

opened, I found a small piece of extremely sharp

metal.

This happened three days ago, whilst I was

preparing a meal for my children. I was heating

the contents of the tin in a microwave when

suddenly sparks began to fly out of the macaroni.

The scene resembled an explosion in a fireworks

factory, which the children found highly exciting,

however, I was terrified.

After opening the microwave door, I fished about

in the bowl (with my hand) and cut my palm on a

small sliver of metal. I remember seeing

something glistening before putting the bowl in

the microwave, but thought nothing of it as your

meals have always been so reliable in the past.

Parenthesis used to clarify action (SSP)

Precise noun phrase (SSP)

Formal opening paragraph sets tone (CE)

Contrasting viewpoints (CE)

Adverbials specify chronology (TSO)

As part of a thematic fortnight on ‘food’, children were asked to compose a letter of complaint, following the discovery of a foreign body in a tinned product. Language and formality were discussed as a class; however, the child’s ideas were independent and the letter was completed within a single session.

Continued

Connectives varied (SSP)






Worryingly, if I had heated up the macoroni in a

pan, the piece of sharp metal may have

remained hidden and when I fed it to my children,

there could have been a nasty accident. Can you

imagine my devastation if I had hurt them? I

would not wish this to happen to anybody else.

Perhaps you should consider changing the

material that your pots are made of; if they were

made of microwave proof plastic, there would be

no risk of any metal fragments contaminating the

contents. Plastic pots with screw on lids would

also be very efficient as they could be reused.

Furthermore, microwavable containers would

mean that busy people (like me) could make a

meal without having to dirty another saucepan

when heating up, which would save not only on

water, but time spent washing up.

In conclusion, I would like to say that my children

have always enjoyed your macoroni cheese. I

hope you will take my points into consideration

and make it safer to eat in future.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I

hope not to have the same experience again.

Yours faithfully

XXX XXXXXXX

Passive suggests additional possibilities (SSP)

Rhetorical question appeals to conscience of reader (CE)

Modals express possibility (SSP)

Ambitious sentence structure maintains control (SSP)

Deliberate and precise selection of verb forms (SSP)

Some shaping of text with greater elaboration of suggestions for improvement (TSO)

Connecting adverbs and adverbials aid cohesion (TSO)

Closing statements echo initial tone and formality (TSO)

Continued






Commentary




Controlled use of varied sentence length and type; grammatical accuracy is generally maintained within ambitious structures.

Points are extended through a range of connectives, expanded noun phrases and adverbials.

Verb forms are precise and indicate present, past and future time as is appropriate (had hurt; would not wish). The use of modals contributes to the persuasive and reproving tone of the letter.

A range of punctuation is used mostly accurately, with occasional lapses, e.g. comma splice (highly exciting, however).

A succinct opening paragraph registers the tone and purpose of the letter.

Connecting adverbs and adverbials support chronological structure, linking the series of events and interspersing them with writer comment.

Paragraphs are expanded to include relevant detail; however, they remain focused and do not become over-elaborate.

The somewhat curt closing statement echoes the tone of the opening paragraph, ensuring no loss of coherence.

The consistent polite, yet reproachful tone leaves the reader in no doubt that this is a letter of complaint.

Formality sustained throughout and emotive comments mostly controlled despite the writer’s obvious concern.

The writer aims to engage the reader through a balance of recount, writer comment and suggestion. Vocabulary is occasionally repetitive, but nevertheless, precise (devastation, fragments).






The Piano

Vibrant chords break the silence of the lonely

hall. The notes send me back in time, triggering

memories from the past. Suddenly, my weary

fingers come alive, sliding over the keys, as the

melody wraps around me. Memories, both good

and bad, rise from the depths of my mind,

flooding me with emotion. It is as if the music is

waking my soul, as if flashes of my life are being

played on film and I am slipping back to my

childhood.

I was born on 7th April 1921 to a wealthy loving

family, in a village in the Peak District. I was a

happy, adventurous boy without a care in the

world. I had so many wonderful moments, but

none as joyful as the day of my 6th birthday.

The sounds grow softer as I see my mother

smiling; she is presenting me with a pale blue

box, tied in smooth, satin ribbon. Heart pounding

with excitement, I tug the bow, lift the lid and

gaze in awe. The hobby horse has a shiny,

dappled grey coat, a long flowing mane and deep

Children studied and extensively explored the animated version of The Piano (Aidan Gibbons). The teacher modelled and discussed different narrative techniques before asking the children to write an extended narrative, emphasising the flashbacks between past and present. The piece was planned, drafted, discussed in guided group work, self-edited and the final version produced over a two week period.

Verb forms signal shift in time (SSP)

Subject variation avoids repetition (SSP)

Precise noun phrases augment sense of reminiscence (SSP)

Final clause prepares transition to past time (TSO)

Confident opening passage engages the reader and establishes genre (CE)

Link back to opening paragraph (TSO)

Viewpoint emphasises change in mood (CE)

Continued






chestnut eyes. Mother and father beam down at

me, and within seconds I am a prince, galloping

down the hallway into a mystical far away land.

Hunched in his rocking chair sits my grandfather.

I sit at his feet, on the crimson coloured rug, as

he tells me stories of World War One, in which he

was too ill to fight. He could never hide the guilt

he felt at doing nothing while my father, aged

only 17, fought in the trenches. When my father

returned home he told magnificent stories of

triumphs and terrible tragedies. I longed to follow

in his footsteps, to be a hero and return with

pride.

My childhood memories ice over as darker

thoughts cloud my mind.

Boom! Another bomb swoops down in the

distance. Gunfire echoes around the war torn

German town. The High Street is deserted, a

battle field between two enemies.

I am running from building to building, trying to

dodge the constant bombs and bullets. Ahead of

me, Matthew shouts commands and leads us

through a maze of streets away from the noise

and chaos.

Hiding in the shadows of a derelict shop,

Matthew and I stop to catch our breath. He asks

Paragraphs shaped to prioritise development and indicate shifts in time (TSO)

Fronted adverbial provides cohesion between sentences (TSO)

Continued

Manipulation of phrases and clauses supports succinct presentation of ideas (SSP)

Prepositional phrases emphasise conflict (SSP)

Varied subordination conveys time with precision (SSP)






me to check the coast is clear. I glance out from

behind the crumbling wall, but see no one.

“All clear” I signal.

“Go! Go! Go!” Matthew calls to the men.

I wish I could forget what happened next. It plays

in slow motion in my head: Matthew stepping out

into the street; a bullet slicing through the air like

a shark through water; Matthew falling to the

ground with a heavy groan.

Checking his wounds, I can see he has been

shot through the lung. His breath comes in short

gasps.

“Don’t die on me,” I cry over the noise of the

gunfire. “I will get you to a hospital.”

“It is too late, my friend,” he murmers. His lips

are pale and his chest heaves as he fights for

life.

“Don’t forget me...” With a final breath, he slumps

in my arms, and his eyes close for the last time.

Trying to escape the sadness, I begin to play a

happier tune as my thoughts turn to Melissa.

It is a crisp winter evening. The night of the

village Christmas dance. I am playing the piano

for the evening. People are arriving, when

through the door comes a girl. Her long chestnut

Idiom portrays informality of indirect speech (CE)

Correct use of colon and semi colon gives clarity to succession of events (SSP)

Adverbials add impact (SSP)

Direct speech correctly punctuated (SSP)

Direct speech links action to flashback (TSO)

Precise vocabulary (CE)

Text structure controlled ‐ paragraphs signal shifts in time (TSO)

Continued

Nomalisation for succinctness (SSP)






hair and deep green eyes sparkle in the light of

the Christmas decorations. She is wrapped in a

thick red coat, trimmed with fur to protect her

from the snow. She catches my eye and smiles a

secret smile.

More people begin to arrive, and I play merry

Christmas tunes. I watch as Melissa dances; she

moves gracefully across the floor like a fluttering

bird.

Eventually I stop playing and go to get some food

and sit with my friends. Then the gramophone

starts up. The latest tunes fill the hall and one by

one, my friends run to dance until I am all alone.

Everyone has a partner except me.

“Thomas! Over here!” a voice ripples above the

music.

It is Melissa.

“Come and dance with me!” she says pulling me

out of my chair.

“I can’t dance.” I reply, feeling ashamed.

“I’ll teach you,” she says excitedly...

I spent the happiest hours of my life with Melissa.

I feel her sitting beside me as my fingers start to

play our wedding march. As the best day of my

Repetitive pronoun reference implies intensity of interest (SSP)

Adverbial indicates viewpoint (SSP / CE)

Fronted adverbs link sentences and aid coherence (TSO)

Reference to previous paragraph strengthens coherence (TSO)

Ellipsis signals time shift (TSO)

Indefinite pronoun amplifies personal sense of isolation (SSP)

Continued






Simple sentences intensify emotional impact (SSP)

life fills my memory, it is quickly followed by the

worst. Sadness slows the music and I blink back

the tears.

I am holding her hand; tears roll down my

wrinkled face as she says a last goodbye. All

hope has gone. The illness has drained away

her life like water down a plughole. Pain creases

her face.

“I love you, Thomas.” she whispers.

“I love you too. I always will.” I gently stroke her

hair.

“Goodbye, my dearest.” Her voice trails away...

I will never forget her; as I play the piano, she sits

beside me and only I can see that secret smile.

Outside, the rumble of a car jogs me back to the

present. My grandson has arrived. He has

Melissa’s deep-green eyes and chestnut curls.

He runs in, scoops up the old hobby horse, and

charges round the piano and waving an

imaginary sword. Then he climbs onto the stool

beside me and I smile as two hands, old and

young, meet on the ivory keys. We play the

notes together, laughing. I can carry on.

Modifiers create shades of meaning to emphasise sense of loss (SSP)

Noun phrase indicates contrast (SSP)

Reference chains establish coherence across the whole text (TSO)

Strong conclusion links explicitly to opening paragraph (TSO)

Continued

Verb forms help create subtle changes in time (SSP)






Commentary




A range of sentence types and features contribute to clarity of purpose and the overall effectiveness of the text.

Subordination is varied, and ambitious structures are competently managed throughout.

Succinct, simple sentences are effectively employed to intensify the emotional impact of the piece.

Verb forms are controlled and precise, enabling the writer to create subtleties of meaning and fluent transitions from present to past time.

A range of punctuation is used with few errors.

Text organised chronologically, thereby managing transitions between present and past.

Pace and rhythm are directed through the shaping of paragraphs, and the incorporation of dialogue.

Coherence and cohesion are strengthened by the use of ongoing references that foster meaningful links across shifts in time (secret smile); and through the precise use of a range of connecting devices.

Confident, imaginative treatment: simple quality of narrative conveys intense personal emotions.

Individual voice is sustained throughout: viewpoint is shaped by memory and the mood of the music.

Ideas are developed through thoughtful elaboration and the use of precise and vivid vocabulary (triumphs and terrible tragedies) and figurative language slicing through the air).






The Athens’ Post 1-5-12

WHAT A DAY!

Chariot Racing: A Hit in the Hippodrome.

A new record holder too – Solcumas Maximus

At 2pm yesterday, the race of the century was

witnessed by spectators, who had arrived in their

thousands to visit the impressive new stadium.

The noise erupting from the Hippodrome was

reported to have been heard from several miles

away. Inside the arena, chariots carted around

the track, swinging and swerving at incredibly

high speed, as their brave and talented drivers

struggled to control them.

The predicted warm weather proved perfect for

the crowd who were literally sat on the edge of

their seats, in awe of the stunning horses, and

the death defying daring of the jockeys.

Four exhillerating races took place during the

day: Paired horses; Four horse scurry; Foals and

finally, Teams of mules.

A whole 12 laps of the course (9 miles) would

normally take between 35 and 40 minutes, but

Solcumus Maximus completed the scurry in an

Alliteration heightens sense of danger (CE)

Brackets clarify information (SSP)

Headline and subheading support organisation (TSO)

Opening paragraph conveys where, what and when (TSO)

Single sentence paragraph acts as transitional device from the general to the specific (TSO)

As part of the Olympic theme, writing was linked to a historical perspective of the games. Children planned and wrote a newspaper report based on the original event. The piece was edited and completed during ICT over two days.

Continued

Adverb emphasises sense of excitement (SSP)

Verb forms precise (SSP)






unbelievable time of 25 minutes! He set a new

world record. What an achievement!

It was a gold medal day for Maximus, who had

earlier won the opening race – the pairs. He was

a good sport, despite the fact that his arch rival,

Hadrid Andromodous, had attempted to run him

off the track in a hair raising manouvre through

the final bend.

‘It was a fast race but I have a great team of

horses’ quoted Maximus, refusing to show off or

boast of his achievments. He was clearly

delighted to have set a new record.

The race will be remembered for many years to

come; those who participated showed

exceptional bravery, especially as chariot racing

is viewed as one of the most dangerous sports in

the world.

“It was a scintillating day and I loved it” quoted a

satisfied spectator.

Up in the stands, we spoke to Solcumus’ mother,

as she wiped a tear from her eye. “I’m so proud

of my son,” she stuttered, “He is a hero in my

eyes”.

Due to the event being a complete sell out,

hundreds of citizens were disappointed at not

being able to witness the action first hand: “I just

Short sentences for impact (SSP)

Adverbial provides additional detail (SSP)

Pronoun referencing aids cohesion (TSO)

Controlled sentence structure linking several clauses (SSP)

Varied subordination (SSP)

Accurate speech punctuation (SSP)

Quote links action to comment (TSO)

Ongoing subject referencing aids coherence (TSO)

Continued






wish I could have been there,” sighed a

disappointed gladiator who did not get to see the

games.

This was certainly a once in a lifetime opportunity

and a day that will go down in history!

Commentary




Varied and ambitious sentence structures used throughout, mostly successfully.

Subordination varied, e.g. for qualification (despite the fact...); emphasis (especially as).

Verb forms are precise and selected to convey meaning and tense.

Mostly accurate use of punctuation gives clarity to the text.

Layout is in keeping with the features of a newspaper. The heading and orientation signal content to the reader and provide a conventional opening to the report.

Some shaping of paragraphs is evident through the elaboration of key events.

Precise adverbials, subject and pronoun referencing, and strategically placed quotes, serve to strengthen cohesion throughout the text.

The report moves from the general to the specific as the events of the day are imparted with detail, quote and comment.

The writer achieves an appropriate level of formality, integrating aspects of formal narrative (those who participated) with the conversational style of an enthusiastic journalist.

Vocabulary is precise (predicted, manouvre, scintillating), and the use of idiom and alliteration is appropriate to the piece.

Idioms in keeping with journalistic style (CE)

Relative clause extends insight to quote (SSP)

Level 6 Collection 1 Piece 4Level 6 Collection 1 Piece 4


wish I could have been there,” sighed a

disappointed gladiator who did not get to see the

games.

This was certainly a once in a lifetime opportunity

and a day that will go down in history!

Commentary




Varied and ambitious sentence structures used throughout, mostly successfully.

Subordination varied, e.g. for qualification (despite the fact...); emphasis (especially as).

Verb forms are precise and selected to convey meaning and tense.

Mostly accurate use of punctuation gives clarity to the text.

Layout is in keeping with the features of a newspaper. The heading and orientation signal content to the reader and provide a conventional opening to the report.

Some shaping of paragraphs is evident through the elaboration of key events.

Precise adverbials, subject and pronoun referencing, and strategically placed quotes, serve to strengthen cohesion throughout the text.

The report moves from the general to the specific as the events of the day are imparted with detail, quote and comment.

The writer achieves an appropriate level of formality, integrating aspects of formal narrative (those who participated) with the conversational style of an enthusiastic journalist.

Vocabulary is precise (predicted, manouvre, scintillating), and the use of idiom and alliteration is appropriate to the piece.

Idioms in keeping with journalistic style (CE)

Relative clause extends insight to quote (SSP)


Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013 23Standards and Testing Agency – Key Stage 2 Writing exemplification 2013

Level 6 collection 1: Overall commentary

Although there is a fictitious element within all pieces of writing, the range of genre is sufficiently varied and includes factually referenced non-fiction text types. Literacy has been used as a vehicle to develop cross curricular, thematic writing, and children have been provided with appropriate opportunities to explore different aspects of such themes over time. The ideas and content of each piece are completely individual and independent. Although not all pieces are equally strong, the collection overall fully meets the level 6 criteria.

In each piece of writing, the level of control in sentence structure and punctuation is commensurate with level 6. Sentences vary in type and length according to the desired impact on the reader, e.g. the voicing of Tom’s thoughts in ‘The Dive’; the rhetorical question in the letter of complaint; the repetitive imperative command in ‘The Piano’. A range of grammatical features serve to clarify and emphasise, e.g. fronted adverbials (Tensly, yet calmly); complex noun phrases (the shadows of a derelict shop); prepositional phrases (through the final bend). Verb forms are controlled and precise, e.g. use of the present tense passive voice (are being played); fronted verbs (Staring straight ahead), whilst subordinating connectives are manipulated for effect (It is as if the music; who had arrived in their thousands). Clarity of meaning is defined through the mostly accurate application of a full range of punctuation.

The overall organisation of texts is controlled, with events and information strategically placed to demand and respond to reader reaction, e.g. the move from anticipation to tension, and finally elation in ‘The Dive’. A range of features act to signpost the reader, e.g. opening paragraphs convey expectation (the race of the century) / indicate formality (I am writing to complain); deliberate repetition links points of reference (chestnut hair and deep green eyes). The writer is beginning to shape paragraphs, e.g. in the letter of complaint, advice on the design of pots is detailed, whereas the final paragraph is a polite, but succinct rebuke. Ideas, events and information are effectively linked by a range of cohesive devices.

Each piece in the collection is executed with imagination and confidence. Writing is adapted to different forms, purposes and audience. The narrative has particular strengths, balancing events of the present with those of the past to create an effectively poignant story. Vocabulary across the range is varied, precise and ambitious, and a range of stylistic features complements the individual purpose of each piece.



© Crown copyright 2013

You may re-use this information (excluding logos) free of charge in any format or medium, under the terms of the Open Government Licence. To view this licence, visit www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence or email [email protected].

Where we have identified any third party copyright information you will need to obtain permission from the copyright holders concerned.

Any enquiries regarding this publication should be sent to us at www.education.gov.uk/contactus or [email protected]

This document is available for download at www.education.gov.uk/ks2


2013 key stage 2 english writing moderation · 2013 key stage 2 english writing moderation...

Documents