Honouring marriage as life-long romantic loveA Resource for parishes and schools from The Bishops Commission for Pastoral Life

Produced by the Australian Catholic Marriage and Family Council | www.acmfc.org.au

2013

Celebrating

In a NutshellAim of this resource:• Toencouragefamilies,parishesandschoolstobuildonthepopularityofStValetine’sDaytoaffirmthevalueofromantic,marriedlove.

• ToprovidepracticalsuggestionsforparishesandschoolstocelebrateStValentine’sDay.

This kit contains:1. Areproducibleleaflet‘Gratitude’

tobedistributedtoparishionersandfamiliesontheSundaybeforeStValentine’sDay.

2. NotesforaspecialStValentine’sDayliturgy(ThursFeb14,2013).

3. Slidesforuseduringtheliturgy.4. Newsletterinserts.5. Tipsforbuildingamarriage

friendlycommunity.

How to Use this Resource

1. Reproducethehandout‘Gratitude’theweekendbeforeStValentine’sDaytodistributetofamiliesatMassorviatheschool.Alternatively,someofthecontentofthehandoutcouldbeincludedintheparish/schoolnewsletter.

2. UsetheLiturgyNotestocelebrateadedicatedMassonThursFeb14.Alternatively,usethenotestohighlightmarriageduringtheparishMassonSunday10thorataschoolassemblyaroundthesametime.

3. Usethenewsletterclipboardforsimplewaysofsupportingmarriagesthroughthenewsletter.

4. Reviewthe‘TipsforBuildingaMarriageFriendlyCommunity’forwaysthatyourparishorschoolcouldhighlighttheimportanceofmarriageandutilisethegiftednessofmarriedcouples.

DearFriends,

In2010,theBishopsCommissionforPastoralLifelaunchedtheStValentine’sDayinitiative.Wearedelightedtoofferyouour2013editionwhichcontinuesourongoingdesiretousetheinnatejoyfulnessofthefeastofStValentinetopromoteandaffirmmarriageandlife-longromanticlove.

InaculturethatisincreasinglyintolerantofChristianvaluesandbeliefs,feaststhathavecapturedtheimaginationofthesecularcommunity,likeStValentine’sDay,representauniqueopportunityfortheChurch.Itisanopportunityforustoproclaimourbeliefsinawaythatisaffirmingandlife-givingtodeeplyheldvaluesthataresharedbymanyinthewidercommunity.Indoingso,wehighlightthepositivegoodthatsuchvalueshaveandreinforcetheneedtoprotectthemforthebenefitofthewholecommunity.

IinviteyoutousetheresourcesenclosedtofocusparishorschoolattentionontheroleofmarriageonoraroundStValentine’sDay.

YoursinChrist,

BishopEugeneHurleyChairman,BishopsCommissionforPastoralLife

St St Valentine’s Day Resource page 1

Thursday, February 14th, 2013

IntroductionThiscomingThursdayisapopulardayforthosewhoareromanticallyminded.Inoursecularsociety,manypeopleareunawarethatStValentine’sDayisbasedonalegendarysaintwhowasbelievedtohavebeenapriestlivinginthethirdcenturyinRomeunderEmperorClaudiusII.ItissaidthatStValentinewasmartyredforperformingsecretweddingsagainstthedecreeoftheEmperor.Itwashiscompassionforyoungcouplesinlovethatearnedhimthetitleofpatronoflovers.

Wecelebratetodaynotonlythelovesharedbythosecouplesamongus,butalsotheloveoftheGreatLover,Jesus.Christ,ourBridegroom,invitesustojoinhiminaneverlastingcovenant;aneternalloveunionthatisreflectedintheloveofeachandeverydedicatedmarriedcouple.[See the Fact File, page 4]

Opening PrayerLetuspray.

Keepyourfamilysafe,OLord,withunfailingcare,that,relyingsolelyonthehopeofheavenlygrace,wemaybedefendedalwaysbyyourprotection.

ThroughourLordJesusChrist,yourSon,wholivesandreignswithyouintheunityoftheHolySpirit,oneGod,foreverandever.

Liturgy of the Word

1: Isaiah 6:1-2,3-8 I heard the voice of the Lord saying: “Whom shall I send? Who will be our messenger?”

Ps: 137:1-5,7-8 R: In the sight of the angels I will sing your Praises.

2: 1 Corintians 15:1-11 I hardly deserve the name apostle; but by God’s grace that is what I am, and the grace he gave me has not been fruitless.

G: Luke 5:1-11 Put out into deep water and pay out your nets for a catch.

Homily [See Homily Notes, page 3-4]

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LiturgyOutline

Prayers of the FaithfulCelebrant:MindfulofGod’scovenantofeverlastinglove,letuspraywithhopeandtrustinthepowerofthatlovetotransformourlives.

•Forourparish/schoolcommunity:thatinthisdividedworldwemaybeasignofunityandaninstrumentofpeace.Weprayinfaith.

•Fortheworldinwhichwelive;thatinspiteofalltheobstaclesanddifficulties,thehumanfamilymaygrowinunderstandingandcooperation.Weprayinfaith.

•Forthosewhoarepreparingformarriage:thattheymaybuildarelationshipofintimacyandtendernessforwhichwealllong.Weprayinfaith.

•Formarriedcouples:thattheymayrejoicewithoneanotherinmomentsofstrengthandbecompassionatetowardsoneanotherinmomentsofweakness.Weprayinfaith.

•Forthosewhohavesufferedbrokenpromises:thattheymayfindhealingandpeace.Weprayinfaith.

•Forwidowedpeople:maythegiftsoflove,support,courageandhopebemadepresenttothemwithinthiscommunity.Weprayinfaith.

•Forallherepresent:thatthiscelebrationmayencourageustopersevereinthewayoflove.Weprayinfaith.

Celebrant:HeavenlyFather,maytheradianceofyourlovelightupourhearts.Mayweknowandexperienceyourpresencewithusaswejourneyjoyfullyandcourageouslyinthewaysoflove.WeaskthisthroughChristourLord.

Blessing of Couples Invite the married & engaged couples to stand and/or come to the sanctuary for a blessing. Have the congregation extend their hand over the couples as the priest says...

My dear brothers and sisters in Christ, let us turn to the Lord and pray that He will continue to bless your marriages with His grace.

Father, look with tenderness upon your daughters gathered here; give them love, grace and peace. May they always follow the example of the holy women whose praises are sung in the scriptures.

Bless your sons gathered in your name; may they always have the strength and compassion which comes from the Gospel.

Together, may each couple continue to both praise you in their gladness and turn to you in their troubles so that you may fill them with the joy of salvation. Keep them faithful in their marriages, and let them be living examples of Christian love.

We ask this through Christ our Lord.

Suggestions for Sunday 10th Feb | 5th Sunday in Ordinary TimeAsStValentine’sDay2013occursinLent,thisliturgyoutlineisdraftedforthepurposesofsupplementingtheEucharisticCelebrationsonthepreviousSunday–Feb10th.Alternatively,forthosecommemoratingthefeastwithadedicatedMassorPrayerLiturgyonThursdayFeb14th,werecommendyouconsultpreviouseditionsoftheStValentine’sDayResourceKitsavailableatwww.acmfc.org.au

Homily NotesGratitude: In the sight of the angels I will sing your praises, Lord.ThepsalmtodayisfullofpraisesforGod.Thepsalmistthanks,blesses,adoresandgivesglorytotheLordfortheLord’sfaithfulness,loveandresponsiveness.Hisgratitudeisoverflowing;witheverythinginhisbeing,hegivestheLordpraise.

Gratitudeisoneofthemostimportantvirtueswecandevelop.Inourfaithlife,gratitudehelpsustopray.Likethepsalmist,agratefulheartwillnotbesilenced;itiscompelledtogivevoicetoitsurgentlongingtopraisetheLord.Infact,gratitudeisattheveryheartofprayercallingustofalldeeperinlovewithourLord.

Gratitudeisalsoimportanttoourhumanrelationships.Gratitudeleadsustolookforthegoodineachotherratherthanthefaults.Ithelpsustofindwaystoembraceourdifferenceswithgoodhumourratherthanargueaboutthem.Anditmotivatesustoserveeachotherbecausewefeelblessedandprivilegedtoknowandlovetheother.

Oneofthemosteffectivewaystotransformanyrelationshipistoconsciouslycultivateanattitudeofgratitude.Gratitudeisapowerfulforce;itchangesthewaywerelatetoothersanditchangesthewayweperceiveoursituation.Ahabitofgratitudeislikeputtingonapairofx-rayglasses–itequipsustoseepastthesuperficialbehaviourofothersintotheirheartsothatweseetheirbrokennessaswellastheirtruebeauty.

Awell-developedsenseofgratitudeisoneofthedistinguishingcharacteristicsofhappycouples.WithStValentine’sdayoccurringlaterthisweek,wecanbesurethattherewillbelotsoffocusonromanceamongourcouples.AstheStValentine’sDayhandoutnotes,gratitudeisanessentialvirtueformaritalhappiness,helpingcouplestobuildjoyfulmarriageswheretheycantolerateeachother’simperfectionsandcelebratetheirdifferences.

[Giveanexampleofacouplewhohavewelldevelopedgratitude.Sharehowtheyjoyfullypraiseeachother,lookforthegoodintheother,arequicktooverlookfaultsandtoforgivemistakes.]

Whom shall I send?

Boththefirstreadingandthegospelexplorethethemeofmission.InIsaiahwehearhowtheLordcallsout,‘WhomshallIsend?Whowillbeourmessenger?’Isaiah,despitehis‘wretchedstate’responds:‘HereIam,sendme.’WeknowfromthescripturesthatIsaiahbecameoneofIsrael’sgreatprophetscarryingGod’smessagethroughoutthelandandinspiringusovertwomillennialater.

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LiturgyNotes

Don’tforgetthePowerpointslides!

St Valentine Fact FileTodaywecelebrateStValentine’sDay–afeastthatrejoicesinromanticloveandlifelongmarriage.Inmanycountriesoftheworld,thefeastcoincideswithMarriageWeek.

StValentinewasapriestinRomeatthetimeofEmperorClaudiusII.Hisassociationwithyoungloversiswellknowneveninmoderntimes.ThestorygoesthatClaudius,urgenttorecruitsoldiersforhisarmies,decreedthatallweddingsbesuspendedsoastoencouragemoresinglemenwithoutfamilyresponsiblitiestoserveincombat.Seeingtheanguishofyoungcouplesforbiddentomarry,StValentineperformedsecretweddingsindefianceoftheEmperor.

Anotherlegendholdsthatwhileawaitinghisexecution,StValentinerestoredthesightofhisjailer’sblinddaughter.Ontheeveofhisdeath,heisreportedtohavepennedafarewellnotetotheyounggirlsigningit,“FromyourValentine”.

HewasbeheadedonFebruary14,269ADandburiedontheFlaminianWaywherearchaeologistshaveunearthedacatacombandanancientchurchdedicatedinhisname.HeisthePatronSaintofengagedcouples,happymarriages,loveandlovers.

Wecelebratetodaynotonlythelovesharedbythosecouplesamongus,butalsotheloveoftheGreatLover,Jesus.Christ,ourbridegroom,invitesustojoinhiminaneverlastingcovenant;aneternalloveunionthatisreflectedintheloveofeachandeverydedicatedmarriedcouple.

ref:www.catholic.org/saints

Homily Notes cont.

Inanotherstory,theGospel,wehearhowJesuscalledhisdisciplesto‘putoutintodeepwaterandpayoutyournetsforacatch’.Thoughtheyweredisillusioned,wearyanddoubtful,theyobeyedtheLord’scommand.Totheirsurpriseandjoy,Godrewardedtheirfaithfulnesswithabountifulcatch,waybeyondtheirexpectations.SimonPeter,overcomewithgratitude,declareshimselfasinfulman,unworthyoftheLord’sgenerosity.YetJesuspromisesPeteranevenmorespectacularcatch:‘Donotbeafraid;fromnowonitismenyouwillcatch.’

Godalsospeaksthosewordstous:‘WhomshallIsend?Whowillbeourmessenger?’

[TalkaboutatimewhenyouheardGodcallingyoutobe‘hismessenger’?Itmightbethestoryofyourvocationtothepriesthood,orasimplerstorysuchasrespondingtothepromptingofthespirittospeaktoastranger,tospeakoutforGodinahostileenvironment,toreachoutandhelpsomeoneinneedetc]

Concluding thoughtsInaworldofwidespreaddesecrationofsexualityandmarriage,therelatableloveofmarriedcouplesisapowerfulsignofhopeforothers.SoChristiancouplesarecalledtoseekmorethanmerelyaveragemarriages;theyarecalledtobeexceptional,tobevibrant,potentwitnessestotherealityoflife-long,faithfullove.Theworldneedsyourexample,thechurchneedsyou,wepriestsneedyou.

Likeallvocations,marriedcouplesneedformationandrenewalinordertomaximisetheirsacramentalwitnessandreachthefullpotentialofjoyandsacramentalimpact.OnthisStValentine’sDay,afeastinwhichtheChurchhonourstheimportanceofromanticloveinmarriage,mayallmarriedcouplesknowtheimportanceofnurturingtheirromanceforthebenefitofthecommunity.

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Tips for Couples GiveyourspouseaStValentine’sdatehe/shewillremember:

revisitoneofyourearlyromanticencounters(e.g.firstdate,proposaletc).Planthewhole

date:organiseababy-sitter,bringrefreshmentsandnourishment,photos,musicandlettheromance

flow!

Tips for Couples MakeStValentine’sDaysomethingspecialthisyear.

Insteadofflowersorchocolates,givethegiftofyourpresence.Makeacommitmenttosetaside10minutesadaytosharethehighsandlowstogether.

Tips for Couples MakeStValentine’sDaylastallyear.Plantwelvedatesonorneartothe14thofeachmonth.Makesureeachdateincludestimetosharewhat’shappeninginyour

lifetogether.

St Valentine’s Day WishingourfaithfulmarriedcouplesajoyfulStValentine’sDay.Thankyouforyourexample

oflove.

Resources for Parishes & SchoolsManydioceseshaveamarriageofficeorcouncilthatoffersmarriageresources

forparishesandschools.Forlocalinformation,visit:www.catholic.org.au

Inaddition,thereareanumberofCatholicorganisationsandmovementsthatprovideresourcestostrengthenmarriageandassistcouplestodiscovertheirsacramentalpotential.

Australian Catholic Marriage and Family Council www.acmfc.org.au

Catholic Society for Marriage Education

www.csme.catholic.org.au

Christian Family Movement www.cfm.org

Couples for Christ www.cfc-australia.org

For Your Marriage - US Bishops www.foryourmarriage.org

Marriage Resource Centre www.MarriageRC.org

New Families Movement of the Focolare

www.focolare.org

Schöenstatt www.schoenstatt.org.au

SmartLoving Series www.SmartLoving.org

Retrouvaille www.retrouvaille.org

Teams – a Movement for Married Spirituality

www.tol-oceania.catholic.org.au

Worldwide Marriage Encounter www.teamsoceania.com.au

Practice Gratitude Thankamarriedcoupleforthegift

oftheirsacrament

Thankyourspouseorfiancefortheirloveandself-giving.

Building a

The most important part of a marriage-friendly community is cultivating an affirming and empowering mentality towards married couples. They are a tremendous resource in proclaiming the gospel. They are not simply another group with pastoral needs; they are a key resource for evangelisation. Try these ideas to empower and enliven marriage in your community.

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1. Haveanannual‘CelebrationofMarriage’toaffirmcouplesandthegiftednessofmarriage,e.g.StValentine’sDay(Feb14),MarriageWeek,orNationalMarriageDay(Aug13inAustralia).

2. Celebratesignificantweddinganniversaries–havearegular‘Congratulations’columnintheparish/schoolnewsletter,invitecouplescelebratingananniversarytobeblessedbythecommunityatMass,orhaveaspecialannualMasstowhichcouplescouldbepersonallyinvited.

3. Askacouple(orseveral)togiveashorttestimonyonhowGodhasblessedthemthroughtheirmarriage.TheycouldshareitatanappropriatetimeduringtheSundayliturgyoritcouldbepublishedinthecommunitynewsletter.

4. Invitecouples(ratherthanindividualspouses)totakeupministryorbemembersoftheparishpastoralcouncilorschoolparentcouncil.Couplesbringaspecialcharismtothechildren’sliturgy,youthgroup,welcomingteam,bereavementministry,orpastoralplanning.Seekoutthosewhohaveavibrantsenseoftheirsacramentalwitnessforleadership.

5. Establisha‘marriageandfamilyministry’teamtoplanandexecutemarriageinitiativesinthecommunity.Formoreinfo:www.marriagerc.org

6. Makeinformationaboutmarriagestrengtheningresourcesavailabletoparishionersthroughthenewsletter,noticeboardandparishwebsite.

7. Combineresourceswiththeparishes/schoolsinyourdeanerytohostamarriageenrichmentevent(suchascouplesretreatorweekendworkshop).

8. Sponsoracoupletorepresenttheparish/schoolatamarriageconferenceormarriageeducationtrainingcourse.Makesuretheysharetheirexperiencewiththecommunityontheirreturn.

9. Invitecouplestoamovienightwithapositivemarriagemessage(e.g.Fireproof,TheStoryofUs).

10. Purchasesomemarriageresourcesfortheparishlendinglibrary,e.g.Thresholdmagazinesubscription(CSME),HolySex(GregoryPopcak),GoodNewsaboutSexandMarriage(ChristopherWest).

11. RunaTheologyoftheBodyStudyGroupforcouplesofyourcommunity.(Resourcesavailablefromwww.marriageresourcecentre.org/shop).

12. Inviteacoupletospeakaboutthevocationofmarriagetotheyouthgroup,seniorschoolclassesortheRCIAgroup.

Community

Tips to Celebrate St Valentine’s Day

1. TalkaboutSAINTValentine’sDay,ratherthansimplyValentine’sDay–itisafterallafeastbasedonthelifeofasaint!

2. HonourmarriedcoupleswithaspecialMass,orwhenthefeastfallsonaweekend,attheSundayMasses.

3.MarktheoccasionwithasimplecelebrationaftertheSundayMass(e.g.aglassofchampagne,aStValscake,wineandcheese)

4. Suggestthatparishcouplesmakeagroupbookingatalocalrestauranttocelebratetogetherandsupporteachother.

5. Hostaparishdinnerforparishcouples-includethemarriedandengaged.