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⚝ Polygamy(Continued)⚝ FeministObjections⚝ Slavery⚝ Ayah4⚝ TherulingsregardingMahr⚝ Averyeffective‘amal

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Oneofthemostimportantquestionsthatwemustfirstansweristhis:A.DoesIslamencouragepolygamy?

Theanswerisno.Islammerelyallowsit,butdoesnotencourageit.

Infact,Islamdiscouragespolygamy.

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⚝ Firstly,itrestrictsthenumbersinceinthedaysofjahiliyatherewasnorestriction.

⚝ TheQuranexplicitlyinstructsMuslimmenthatiftheyareafraidtheywillnotbeabletobejustbetweentheirwives,thentheyaretomarryonlyonewoman.

⚝ Islamprohibitspolygamyifamanisnotabletoachievethis,orifheevenfearsthathewillnotbeabletoachievethis.

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B.Butthequestionremains,whydoesIslamallowmentomarrymorethanonewomanevenaftertheserestrictionsandconditions?⚝ ThefactisthatIslamrecognizestherealityofthehumanexistence.⚝ Therealityoflifeisthattherearealotofmenwhoarenot

monogamous,regardlessoftheirfaith.Monogamyisthepracticeofhavingonlyonepartner.

⚝ Islamwantseveryman,regardlessofwhichcategorytheyfallinto,tobeabletopracticeIslamfullyandnotfallintosin.

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⚝ Onceapersonfallsintoalifeofsin,andiftheyfeelthattheywillnotbeforgivenandthereisnowayout,theywillcontinuetocommitothersins,thinkingthattheyhavenothingtolose.

⚝ Inordertopreventthisfromhappeningtoanyone,Islamallowedpolygamy.

⚝ Thosewhoareabletocontrolthisdesire,arediscouragedfrompolygamybecauseitcomeswithaheavyburdenofhavingtoensurejusticeandequalitybetweenwives,whichifitisnotachievedwillresultinsinandpunishmentontheDayofJudgment.

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C.Atthesametime,bymakingpolygamyprohibitedexceptforthosewhoarejustbetweentheirwives,Islamprotectstherightsofthewife.

⚝ Ifamanfindsnootherwaybuttomarryasecondwife,hemustbejustwiththefirstwife.

⚝ Hemustdividehistimeequallybetweenthetwo,meaningthathemustspendonenightwithhisfirstwife,andonenightwiththesecond,andalternateinthisway.

⚝ Hemustprovidebothwiveswithsimilarhousing,andthesameamountoffinancialsupport.

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⚝ Inmostsocieties,affairsdohappen,thoughtheyhappensecretly.

⚝ However,allofthishappenssecretly.

⚝ Theotherwomanhavingtheaffairhasnorights.

⚝ Hecansimplystopseeingheratanytime.

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D.Sowhataboutwomen?Researchshowsthatwomenalsocheatontheirhusbands,althoughithappensatamuchlowerrate.

⚝ However,womenusuallyciteemotionalissuesasareasonforthemtocheat.

⚝ Usually,theirhusbandshavelostinterestinthem.

⚝ Inordertotakecareofthisaspect,Islammakesitanobligationonthehusbandtospendsufficienttimewiththeirwife.

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⚝ ThisisoneoftherightsofawifeuponherhusbandinIslam,andnothingjustifiestakingitawayfromher,notevenspendingthetimeinworshipandprayer.

⚝ Islamalsomakesitobligatoryuponmentotreattheirwiveswiththeutmostrespect,dignityandlove.

⚝ Whensucharelationshipismaintained,itisveryunlikelythateitherthehusbandorwifewillwanttodamageitbycheatingorbythehusbandtakingasecondwife.

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E.ButwhydoesIslamnotallowwomentomarrymorethanoneman?Doesn’tresearchshowthatthereisalsoahighrateofwomencheatingontheirhusbands?

⚝ Well,thesestatisticssimplyreflectthefactthatthecheatingmenneedpartnerstocheatwith.

⚝ Itisquiteoftenthatamanwillinitiateanaffair.⚝ ThisisalsooneofthereasonsforIslamrequiringbothmenand

womentodressmodestlyandnottoflirtwitheachother.

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⚝ Anotherpointtoconsideristhecomplexityofthefamilystructurethatwouldresultifwomenwerealsoallowedtomarrymorethanoneman.

⚝ First,itwouldbedifficulttodeterminethefatherofanychildrenthatsuchawomanwouldhave.

⚝ Conflictsbetweenthemultiplehusbandsofasinglewomanwouldfrequentlyturntoviolence.

⚝ Additionally,thefamilystructurebecomesimpossiblycomplexifbothmenandwomenareallowedtomarrymultiplespouses.

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F.Somemayask,whatabouttheemotionaldistressthatpolygamycausesforwomen,specificallyforawomanwhosehusbandhasjustmarriedasecondwife?

⚝ Islamobligatesuponmentotreattheirwiveswiththeutmostofkindness,loveandmercy.

⚝ Therearesituationswhereirreconcilabledifferencesarisebetweenthehusbandandwife.

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⚝ ThisiswhyIslampermitsdivorce,eventhoughinIslamdivorceisconsideredtobethemostfrowneduponofallpermissibleactions.

⚝ Islamdoesrecognizethatinsomecases,amanwillwanttohaveasecondpartner.

⚝ Insteadofresortingtosecretaffairs,Islamallowsthehusbandtolegallymarryasecondwife.

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⚝ Thissecondwifemustbemadeawarethatthehusbandisalreadymarried,andsheisfreetoaccepthismarriageproposalortorejectit.

⚝ Similarly,thefirstwifemustbemadeawarethatherhusbandmarriedasecondwife,andinthatcaseshehastheoptionofaskingforadivorceifthehusbanddoesnotfulfillherrights.

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⚝ However,Islamallowstheoptionofkeepingthefirstmarriage.Thismaybebeneficialforboththefirstwifeandthehusband.Thefirstwifecanmaintainthemaritalrelationship,andwillstillhavealltherightsofawife.

⚝ Thechildren,ifthereareany,canstillcontinuetohaveafamilywherebothparentsarepresentandarestillinalovingrelationship.

⚝ Andthehusbandisabletomarrythesecondwoman,whilenotlosinghisfamilyandhisfirstwifewhomhemaystillloveandrespect.

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H.Whenyouconsiderthecomplexityoflifeandtherelationshipsbetweenpeople,youwillfindthattherearecertaincaseswherepolygamyisreallythebestanswer.

⚝ SinceIslamisareligionmeantforallpeople,livinginallplacesandatalltimes,itallowedpolygamyinordertotakethosecasesintoaccountwhereitisreallythebestsolution.

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Considerforexampleacasewhereahusbandandwifegetmarried,andthenitbecomesapparentthatthewifeisnotabletohavechildren.Somemenmaybeabletolivewiththissituation.Othersmaywishtotryothermedicalsolutionssuchas“testtube”babiesorhavinganotherwomancarrythebabyforthecouple.Othersmaypursueadoptionofanorphan.However,somemenwillwanttohavechildrenbyanaturalbirth.Thisisjustabasichumandesireandinstinct.Withoutpolygamy,suchamaneitherhastolivetherestofhislifehavingbeendeprivedofthisopportunitytobeafather,orwouldhavetodivorcehiswifeandmarryanotherwomanwhoisabletohavechildren.

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Insuchacase,polygamymaybeagoodsolution.⚝ Themanandhiswifecanmaintaintheirlovingmarriage.⚝ Themancanenjoythefeelingofhavingnaturalbiological

children.⚝ Thewifecanalsoenjoyhavingchildreninherlife.⚝ Thesecondwifethatthemanwillmarryandwhowillbear

childrenforhim,shewillalsobehappytobeinalovingmaritalrelationshipandforhavingchildrenofherown.

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⚝ Generally,awomanwhohasmanyopportunitiesformarriagewillnotaccepttobeasecondwife,andwillwaitforaproposalfromamanwhoisnotyetmarried.

⚝ Thesecondwifewillprobablybeeitherdivorcedorwidowed.

⚝ Forherbeingasecondwifeisalsoagreatoption.

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⚝ Anothersituationtoconsiderisamanwhosewifebecomesseriouslyill,suchthatsheisnotabletohavesexualrelationswithherhusband.

⚝ Itisdifficultforamantocontinuetoliveforalongperiodoftimewithoutsatisfyinghissexualneeds.

⚝ Insuchacase,withoutpolygamythemanwilleitherhavetosuppresstheirsexualdesire,ortheywillmorelikelyhaveanaffair,ortheywillsimplyhavetodivorcetheirsickwifeandgetmarriedtoanotherwoman.Alloftheseoptionsarebad.

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⚝ Polygamyprovidesanoptionwherethewifecancontinuetogetthelove,emotionalandphysicalsupportofherhusband.

⚝ Thehusbandcancontinuehislovingrelationshipwithhissickwifeandprovideherallthesupporthepossiblycan.Atthesametime,heisabletofulfillhissexualdesire.

⚝ Thesecondwoman,asmentionedpreviously,willbehappytobemarriedbecauseshemaynothavehadthisopportunityotherwise.

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⚝ ThebasicruleinIslamismonogamy.⚝ Islamdoespermitpolygamyinordertoaccommodatecertain

circumstanceswhereitisabetteroption.⚝ Islamallowspolygamyinordertoavoidthegreaterharmof

keepingsuchrelationshipssecretandillegitimate.⚝ Polygamyprotectstherightsofwomenbygivingthemthefull

rightsofawifeandprotectstherightsofthechildren.

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⚝ Feministsmayobjecttothismalerightbyinsistingthatwomenshouldalsobeabletopracticepolygamy.

⚝ However,awomanmarryingfourhusbandswouldonlyincreasetheproblemofsurpluswomen.

⚝ Furthermore,nochildwouldaccepthisorhermotheridentifyingthefatherbythe"iny miny miney mo"method.

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⚝ Thequestionwhichremainsis,“IfGodisgoodandwishesgoodforHiscreatures,whydidhelegislatesomethingwhichwouldbeharmfultomostwomen?”

⚝ Divinelegislationlooksatthesocietyasawholeseekingtomaximizebenefit.

⚝ Ifacertainlegislationbenefitsthemajorityofthesocietyandcausessomeemotionalharmtoaminority,thegeneralwelfareofsocietyisgivenprecedence.

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⚝ Anothermasla thatisfrowneduponisregardingslavegirls.⚝ Atthispoint,pleasekeepinmindthattheexpressionintheayah:

�ع ف وإن خفتم أال تـقسطوا يف اليـتامى فانكحوا ما طاب لكم من ا م أال تـعدلوا إن خفت لنساء مثـىن وثالث ور لك أدىن أال تـعولوا ﴿ ﴾٣فـواحدة أو ما ملكت أميانكم ذ

“And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses⚝ ما ملكت إميانكم whichmeanswhatyourrighthandpossesses.

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⚝ ‘Abondwomanonemayhave,'hasveryspecialconditionsunderwhichsuchpossessionbecomespossible.Conditionswhichgenerallydonotjustexistthesedays.

⚝ Thisisabigbonetopickbywesterners,4wivesandslavewomen(whatyourrighthandpossesses).

⚝ Historicallyspeakingwhenwerewomentakenascaptives?Eitherasprostitutes(womentrafficking)orprisonersofwar(POW).

⚝ Whenwomenaretakencaptiveseveninourtimesbyamostcivilizedarmywhounderwentthebestoftrainingandthebestofethicaltrainingweallknowwhathappens

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⚝ Now هللا revealedanayahwhereinthereisguidance.

⚝ AndanotherinterestingthinginthisisPOWyoucandoanythingtothemandnobodycanquestionyou.

⚝ Butthisisnotthecasewith"what your right hand possesses"

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⚝ Theyhaverights.

⚝ Theirchildrenshareintheinheritance.

⚝ Practicallytheyenjoysimilarrightsasawife.

⚝ Theonlydifferenceisthetermnikah.

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Whatisnikah?⚝ Nikahisthetransferofresponsibility.

Fromwhotowho?⚝ Fromonewalitoanother.

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⚝ Inthosedaystherewerealreadywomenthatwereinyourhouse.

⚝ Whodoesthatresponsibilitygetstransferredto,yourselves.

⚝ Theprimaryobjectivehereistobeaccountabletothisresponsibility.

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⚝ SowhatdoestheQuranandhadithreveal?Theresponsibility.

⚝ Inthecasewherethereisnikah,theresponsibilityistransferred.

⚝ Inthecasewherethereisnonikah,theresponsibilityisstillinplace.

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Let'stalkofthewesternsociety:⚝ Everythreeminutesarapeistakingplace.⚝ Andteenagegirlsaregettingpregnantinschoolsand

universitiesandyoudon'tknowwhodidit.⚝ Andthishilarioussocietyiscomingtolifeandnobody

istaking(thisonebigword)RESPONSIBILTY.

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Averyimportantunderstandingoftheapplicationandsituationofconcubines:⚝ Betweenayahno32and33ofsurahNoor

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⚝ هللا taala revealsthatsuchwomencanworktheirwaythroughtoearntheirfreedom

⚝ Andoncethathappenstheonlywomenthatwereleftasconcubineswerewomenthatwerehandicappedorwhohadreachedanageofoldageorweretooyoungtogetmarried.

⚝ Theseweretheonlytypeofwomenthatwereleft.⚝ IncidentofJuwairiah RA

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⚝ SopeoplearecriticizingourDeen andourQur’an.Andwegetconfusedandthisisonlyforonereason,WedonotknowourQur'an.

⚝ Theonlyreasonit’slike,Ohmyهللا howdoIrespondtothat?

⚝ TheonlyreasonforthatiswedonotknowourQur'an.

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⚝ .fitradecenthavewhopeopleatobookthisrevealedهللا

⚝ Therefore,everyayat everycommandshouldandwillmakesensetopeopleofdecentfitra andlogic.

⚝ IfweexplainproperlyeverydecentpersonwillseethesenseintheIslamicsolutions.

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⚝ PeoplearguethatIslamencouragesslavery.

⚝ WhereaswecanchallengethemtocitefromtheQuranandhadithoneayahorhadiththatencouragesslavery.

⚝ Infact,Quranandhadithhasshowedustheirlaws,howtotreatthemanddealwiththem.

⚝ Itencouragesustofreeslaves.

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⚝ Thesahabah freedsomanyslavesthattheybecameanexampleforpeople.

⚝ Infact,duringthekhilaafat ofUmar[ra],thegovernorsofmanystateswereslavesandtheyweremadethegovernorsofthosestatesbecausetheyhadacquiredtheknowledgeofQuranandhadith.

⚝ Thesepeoplecan’tseeallthis.AlltheycanseeisthatIslamencouragesslavery.

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⚝ WhentheQuranwasbeingrevealedtherewereslaveboysandgirlsineveryhome.

⚝ Ignoranceandslaverywerehandinhand.⚝ Understandthiswiththisexample.InMadina thepopulationwas

maybe3000andtheslaveswere1000andallofasuddenQuraninstructsustofreethem.Theyareallilliterate.Imaginewhatwillhappen.

⚝ Itwillbechaos.Crimeandimmoralitywillincreasebecauseofignorance.

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⚝ Instead,Islamtookagradualprocess,arrangedfortheireducation,andthenfreedthem.

⚝ Itpromulgatedlawsthatencouragedthefreeingofslaves.

⚝ Afterafewyears,therewerenoslavesleft.

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Commentary

“Give women:{1} your wives {2} your daughters {3} the orphan girls who you are the guardians of] Their dowries with a good heart.”

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Linguisticsصدقا�نIsfromصدقة or صداق –صداق –FromthedepthofonesheartwhichcanbeexpressedintheUrdulanguageinthesewords“ ◌ ےجا د� ےسجو صدق دل “"Togivewithatruesincerehonestheart"“Give women their marriage gifts.”

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Linguistics⚝ SaduqatcomesfromSidq - whichmeanstruth.

⚝ Saduqaat shouldneverbemixedupwithsadaqat.

⚝ Sadaqat isextra.

⚝ Saduqah iswhatconfirmsthemarriageisactuallyvalid.

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Linguistics⚝ InMirqat Sharh Mishkat,Mulla ‘Aliwrites:

Itmeansthatdowerisreferredtoassaduqah orsudaqbecauseitsroot,sadaqat,signifiestruth.

⚝ Sincedowertooshowsthetrueattitudeofthehusbandtowardshiswife,thecongruitywasgoodenoughtoletthedowerbecalledsudaq orsaduqah.

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Linguistics ⚝ Nihlah isawordusedwhenyougiveawomenanactualgift

outoflove,aspirationorcanbeusedasapassionatelovingromanticgift.

⚝ That’swhytheysay“Nahal almara’ta”whichmeans“hegavethewomenagiftaboveandbeyond.”

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Meanings of AyahMeaning 1:

1. Itwasageneralcustomandtrendthatparentsorguardianskeptthedowryanddidnotgiveittotheirdaughtersorthosewhotheyweretheguardiansof,henceitwastoldtothemthatgivetheirdowrieshappily.

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Meanings of AyahMeaning 2:

2. Thecommandisbeinggiventothehusbandtogivehiswifeherdowry.[Inthiscaseitisclearandneedsnofurtherexplanation].

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Linguistics⚝ Theword طنب hastheword هبة init.

⚝ Therefore,onewaytounderstandthe تركيب[construction]oftheverseis:

“If they gift any part [amount] of the dowry with a happy heart, then you can partake of it, with happiness.

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Linguisticsهنيئا⚝ Literallymeans– pleasant,comfortable,toenjoyonesmeal

⚝ ه ن ء (Ha,nun,hamza)(that’sthemasdar)han’un issomethingthatcomesyourwaywithouteffort.It’sagift.

⚝ هينء الطعام“Hanniee at’ta’aam” isfoodthatgoesdowneasy.

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Linguisticsيئا مر ⚝ Literallymeans– somethingtasty,deliciousandsomethingthat

getsdigestedeasily.⚝ Mar’ei isalsoreferredtothefoodpassage(oesophagus- throatto

yourstomach).Sothatfoodthateasilygoesdownthethroat.⚝ الطعام مريؤMar’a atta’am meansthefoodwentdowneasy.

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⚝ ابراء iswhenawomenforgivesherdowrybeforereceivingherdowry.

⚝ هبة iswhenshetakesherdowrythengivesitback.⚝ Thisayahwillincludeboththesesituations:

Givethewomentheirmahr andgiveitwithagoodheart,⚝ Note:ifsheforgiveshermahr itshouldnotbebecauseyou

areforcinghertodoso.Ifshedoessosheshouldbedoingithappily.

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FromthefollowingQur’anicverse,Islamicjuristshaveruledthatmahr isamandatory(wajib)paymentuponthehusband.

Thispaymentcanbeintheformofgold,silverorcash.Anitemofmonetaryvaluecanalsobegivenasmahr.

ThisMaharshouldnotbesonominalthattheconceptofhonourisdisregarded;neithershoulditbesoexorbitantthatitisbeyondthehusband’sfinancialcapacityandheiscompelledtoaskhiswifetowaveitorhedieswithoutpayingit.

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⚝ Theamountismutuallyagreeduponbybothparties.Neitherpartycanforceanamountontheother.

⚝ Demandinganextortionateamountofmahr,whichisbeyondthegroom’sfinancialcapacity,isasignofgreed.

⚝ Thisisasteppingstoneforanunhealthyrelationship.⚝ Whenexcessiveamountsofmahr becomethenorm,

marriagebecomesextremelydifficultformenandwomenresultinginanincreaseintheunmarriedpopulation.

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The following points (in no specific order) should be taken into consideration when discussing the mahr:1.Sincerityofintention(Ikhlas)2.Honourofthebrideandherfamily3.Financialcapacityofthegroom4.Themahr receivedbyothersimilarbridesinherfamily5.Socioeconomicstatusofthegroomandthebride6.Moderation

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The ayaat for shifâ (healing) are the following:⚝ ThelastpartofthefourteenthayahofSûra-i-Tawba.

⚝ Themiddlepartofthefiftiethâyat ofSûra-i-Yûnus.

⚝ Themiddlepartofthesixty-ninthâyat ofSûra-i-Nahl.

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⚝ Thefirstpartoftheeighty-secondâyat ofSûra-i-Isrâ.

⚝ Theeightiethâyat ofSûra-i-Shu’arâ.

⚝ Themiddlepartoftheforty-fourthâyat ofSûra-i-Fussilat.

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⚝ Bymeansofsomecolouredliquid,e.g.saffronwater,thesearewritteninabowl,andthewritingismeltedwithrainwater.

⚝ Thewifeisaskedtopresentsomeofthemoneywhichshewasgivenasmahr,andsomehoneyisboughtwiththemoney.

⚝ Thenthehoneyismixedwiththewaterandthemixtureisdrunk.Apersonwithablutioncanalsowritetheâyats forshifâ onapieceofpaperandthepieceofpaperbeputinsomewaterinacontainer.

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