21st Century Etiquette

Manners Matter in the Real World

When will I have the opportunity to use this so called “Etiquette”?0View Teen Etiquette 0VideoC:\Users\Kathy.Troncale

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0Discuss what etiquette means and how it benefits us as individuals and the community as a whole.

How to Make Introductions

0How to Introduce People 11 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow.mht

How to Make Introductions

0 Introducing people is both an art and a means of ensuring good manners. A good introduction can get people off to a great conversational start and can help ease any discomfort or unease at meeting for the first time. When you introduce people, the most important, and trickiest, part can be to figure out who should be introduced to whom, based on rank and authority. Once you have that figured out, you can easily help two people get to know each other — and even to start a great conversation in the process. See Step 1 to learn how to introduce people today.

Step 1: Higher Rank/Authority0Figure out which person of the two has a higher

rank or authority in a social setting. This is important to know because the person of lesser rank or authority should always be introduced to the person of higher rank or authority. In general, in a social setting, gender is the "trump card" and determines the higher rank; women are always ranked over men, unless the man is significantly older than the woman. After that, age is the next determining factor; an older person ranks after a younger person, which can be a helpful distinction if both people are of the same gender. Here's what you need to know:

Examples 0 Your 70-year-old mother-in-law is of greater seniority than

your brand new boyfriend. 0 Great age takes precedence over most rank or authority, out

of courtesy and respect. Your eighty-year-old male neighbor should be ranked higher than your fourteen-year-old niece (according to most people).

0 All other things being equal, the person you've known the longest should be named first: introduce your junior friend to your senior friend.

0 For social introductions, men are usually introduced to women, as a sign of respect. Gender is not a factor in business settings, where rank is more important.

0 Your relatives hold higher rank over your friends.

Business Setting0Figure out which person of the two has a higher

rank or authority in a business setting. In a business setting, women still have a higher rank over men, and older people still have a higher rank over younger people, but position trumps both age and gender. This means that if a young male is of a higher position than a woman, that the woman should be introduced to the man because the man will have the higher rank. Basically, when it comes to a business setting, "position" determines rank first, and after that comes gender, and then age. Here's what you need to know:

Examples for Business0 Your boss will be of greater rank or authority than your

colleague, partner, or best friend. 0 Your senior colleague takes precedence over your junior

colleague. 0 Your customer or client should be introduced to your

employees. 0 If you are introducing people of equal rank in the

business world, then introduce the person you don't know as well to the person you know better. You should say the name of the person you know better first.

Step 2: How to Introduce0Always state the name of the person with higher

rank and present the person of lower rank to them. This can be a bit confusing, but it basically means that you should state the name of the person of higher rank, and then "present" the other person to them. This makes the person of higher rank stand out as the more important person in the situation. Here are some examples:

Example Introductions0 Introduce a friend or significant other to a relative. The relative

has a higher rank: "Dad, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Danny."

0 Introduce a lower-ranking business associate to a higher ranking one: "Mr. CEO, I'd like to introduce Mr. Underling."

0 Introduce a client to a business associate: "Mr. Client, this is Mr. Money, my associate."

0 Introduce a younger person to an older one: "Mr. Oldson, I'd like you to meet Sally Youngling."

0 Introduce a man to a woman: "Mary, this is Jeff." 0 In a business setting, let rank take precedence over gender. If

Mr. Thomas is a higher-ranking male than Mrs. Davis, Mr. Thomas gets the higher authority because of his business position, even though Mrs. Davis is a woman:" Mr. Thomas, may I introduce Mrs. Davis."

Step 3: Provide Background0Provide background information to help the

people start a conversation. You should do this only after you've introduced the people. If they have enough to talk about on their own, that's fine, but if you're trying to facilitate a business conversation or just helping people socialize at a party before moving along, then you can provide a connecting thread that can leave the people to talk on their own, or provide a bit more information about each person and lead them to make the connection. You can help connect the people by mentioning a common interest, a place they both know well, or even a person they both know. Here are some examples of ways to connect people:

Examples of Background0 "Elizabeth, have you met Fitzwilliam? I believe you both

share a love of reading Jane Austen while walking on the moors."

0 "Mom, this is my friend, Stacy. She teaches classes at your yoga studio."

0 "Mr. Jones, this is Mr. Smith. Mr. Smith has been helping me on the Connor account. We never would have closed the account if it wasn't for your help, Mr. Jones."

0 "Mary, I'd love for you to meet Mark Charles, my neighbor. Mark is actually a published writer. Mary has just started taking creative writing classes."

0 "Amy, have you met Rick? Rick actually works with Jeff, your roommate. Isn't Jeff the greatest? I wish he could be here tonight..."

Step 4: Making the Formal Introduction

0Make a formal introduction correctly. Most formal introductions will relate to the workplace, but they can also take place during formal social events, or if you're with distinguished people. If you're introducing people in a formal setting, then you should use the first and last names of the people, along with the phrases, "May I present", "I'd like to introduce", or "Have you met..." Some people think you should not use the word "introduce," as it can cause confusion or come off as too direct, but it's up to you to decide. Here's what you should do:

Examples of Formal Introduction

0 Name the person of greater rank or authority first. 0 Use both first and last names, and include any title such

as "Dr./Sir". For example, "Dr. Jones, may I introduce Stephanie Smith. Dr. Jones is my art history professor. Stephanie is an art history major."

0 Include relevant details as you introduce the two together, such as any established relationship you have with the person you're introducing. For example, you might say: "Mr. Boss, may I present Mark Jones. Mr. Boss is my boss. Mark Jones is my associate."

Informal Introductions

0Make an informal introduction correctly. For a less formal occasion, such as your backyard barbecue, you can simply present both people to one another by name by saying something like, "Fitzwilliam Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet." You can also connect the people more casually and say something like, "I've been dying for you to meet..."In an informal setting, you can worry less about how to phrase everything and more about getting people talking. 0 Using first names only is fine in informal situations.

Group Introductions0 Make a group introduction correctly. In this case, you will need to

spend a little time introducing the newcomer to each individual of the group unless it's a small, informal group where a general introduction would suffice and it's neither time-consuming nor disruptive to name each member of the group while you have the group's attention. 0 For more formal, larger groups, introduce the newcomer to the whole group

first, then take the newcomer to each person and introduce by name: "Caroline, this is Fitzwilliam, my boss; Lydia, this is Fitzwilliam, my boss," etc. Continue working your way around the group in this manner.

0 Though you may think it's funny or just easier to say, "Mary, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Mary," this doesn't actually help get a conversation going. Besides, it's rude to "everybody," because it makes it seem like you don't think it's worth it for Mary to get to know each person. Of course, use your discretion: if you're at a loud party and Mary just got there, it may be overwhelming to introduce her to twelve new faces immediately. Instead, ease Mary into the conversation and introduce her to a few people at a time.

0 4

No Need to Repeat

0Do not repeat names or reverse the introduction. In both formal and informal cases, you do not need to reverse the introductions. It's obvious to both parties who is whom. Repeating names or reversing the introduction can make things a bit tedious, and you'll be making a social blunder.

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What Name to Use?0 Use common sense when deciding what to call people. The

general rule of thumb is that you should introduce people to each other by what you normally call them. For example, if you're great friends with your former professor, Lucy Houston, you can just introduce her to your boyfriend as "Lucy," if that's what you always call each other. If you're in a more formal situation and the person has not given you permission to call him or her by his or her first name, and you have always called the person by "Dr." or "Mr.," then you should keep doing that. 0 When in doubt, go with the more formal option. It's better to have

your boss say, "You can call me Bob instead of Mr." instead of having your boss bristle when you call him "Bob" instead of "Mr."

When You Don’t Know a Name

0 Be delicate when you don't know a person's name. We've all been there. You try to introduce two people when you realize that you just completely forgot the name of the person standing in front of you. There are two approaches you can take: 0 Politely excuse yourself and say, "I'm so sorry, would you

mind reminding me of your name?" 0 Try to be sneaky. Say, "Have the two of you met?" Then pause

and wait for the people to introduce themselves. This isn't a perfect maneuver, but it can help you in a pinch, especially if you've forgotten the name of a person you've met several times!

Introduction Tips0 Responses to being introduced should be simple, such as "hello", or "nice

to meet you" or "Elizabeth has told me so much about you". Avoid any gushing or flowery language that can appear insincere or old-fashioned. Peggy Post says that "exaggerated praise is likely to be a turnoff."[1]

0 Methods of introducing to avoid include: 0 Using "should" or "must" in your introduction. This can easily come across

as pushy, bossy, and impolite. For example, avoid saying "You must meet", "You should get to know one another", or "You must have lots to talk about" (how could you possibly assume that?!).

0 Equally, saying something that requires an action such as shaking hands is also crossing the line of politeness, for example, stating: "Please shake hands with".

0 Using "This is" when introducing can be a little too informal, and doesn't convey the import of the introduction for a formal occasion.

0 Forcing someone to meet when they have already made it clear to you that they're not keen to meet the other person. Don't act as rift-healer or belittle their concerns—their desire to not be introduced is their own issue.

0Hold an in-the-round discussion of these three questions from Dr. Walsh:

01.       What do I think I know about ____?02.       What puzzles me about ___?03.       How can we explore what puzzles us?0  0Students could respond first on paper, then share with

a peer, and then discuss as a whole group.  This should give you student-driven data you could use to plan many of the remaining club meetings.

Dating EtiquetteFrom Malls to Meals, Messaging and Beyond!

When people date they usually share a common objective – they hope to win over the object of their affection0They therefore want to give a favorable impression of

themselves0Hopefully, they will also bring out the best in their

date0The fact that you have read this far indicates that you

want to know how to behave properly on your date so that you can practice good dating etiquette; a good start!

Dating Etiquette (General)

0 The rules are basically the same for teens, the middle aged and seniors, first date or last date, girls or guys

0 Primary rule – girls and guys, treat your date with dignity and respect

0 No swearing. Broaden your vocabulary beyond a few repetitive expletives

0 Act like a lady or gentleman. You will feel better for it0 Be genuine. It must come from the heart0 Be that way during your first date right until your last and

see what a difference it will make to you, your date's and your life

Dating Etiquette:Before the Date

0Your date should always give you ample notice. They should never expect you to be available on short notice.

0Guys usually initiate the first date or two (it is OK for the girl to initiate it if they are already good friends) after that either may do so.

0Guys should be prepared to pay for the date (especially the first one)

0Subsequent ones can be worked out in due course when you know a bit more about each other.

0Girls, be considerate – when in a relationship - offer to pay half OR leave the tip to show that you are not a freeloader.

0You could offer to cook a meal or bring a picnic basket to the next date if there is the possibility of a follow up date

Dating Etiquette: Before the Date

0Be prepared ahead of time to have a few topics for light hearted conversation; nothing too controversial

0No strong opinions please0Remember that the objective of a date is generally to

assess the potential of coming together to be a couple in a close permanent relationship in so far as permanency goes

0Never stand up your date0Postpone rather than cancel0Do not just fail to show up. That would be despicable

Dating Etiquette:During the Date

0Be on time. It shows respect for your date’s time. If you are running late ring and give a new ETA

0Dress appropriately for the occasion. Clean hair, clothes and person. Lightly perfumed or with deodoriser/after shave

0Guys should open, hold open and close doors for you 0 It shows that they are prepared to go out of their way to be

courteous to you0Girls - let him, but don’t expect it0Either way, be gracious about it; smile or thank him0This is not the time to push your liberated female views0Some other time...maybe

Dating Etiquette0 Girls usually precede guys in the theatre, church, movies, to

the table at a restaurant and most other places and guys help her to be seated - this is sophisticated dating etiquette

0 Guys on the other hand lead the way through crowds and traffic

0 On sidewalks, guys should walk nearest the street to 'protect’ the girl - you get the idea

0 Compliment each other0 Neither one of you is perfect, there has to be something to

compliment with sincerity0 Look for it. Hair; clothes; smile; car; jewelry? 0 If you can’t find something to compliment, why are you

dating this person?

Dating Etiquette:

0 Be close and attentive or it may become your last date with that person.0 Being attentive to your date does not mean totally excluding all others

in the group or at the party0 Be pleasant to your date0 Talking down to your date or being patronizing is not good etiquette0 Remember your manners. Say – please, thank you, after you, you’re

welcome, etc0 Acknowledge each others’ courtesies with a smile and/or ‘thank you’0 Make frequent eye contact (do not leer)0 Use their name – frequently. To them it is the sweetest word in any

language

Dating Etiquette

0 If this is a first date enquire delicately to elicit information about likes and dislikes; values and expectations; interests, dreams and aspirations

0 At each subsequent date widen the field of your enquiry in a casual conversational manner while also imparting more information about yourself

0 Avoid bragging and talking too much about anything, especially yourself

0 Turn the conversation around to get your date’s views and contribution to the subject

0 Keep the conversation light and try to have fun together0 Use humour, but don't overdo it

Dating Etiquette

0A guy should see you to the door after the date0 If a boy promises to call or contact you, he should do

so – within a reasonable time frame. If he does not – move on – he’s not worth the aggravation.

0 If they are interested, they will try to set up another date once or twice, and then they will get the picture that you are not interested. Always be polite.

0 t’s OK to date others until you have clearly come to an understanding that you are going to date exclusively – which should not happen in middle school!

Dating Etiquette

0Experts encourage teens to embark on dating relationships slowly and safely to avoid emotional turmoil. Anita Gurian, a psychologist who works for the New York University Child Study Center, suggests that teens not be permitted to date one-on-one until 16-years of age. With this premise soundly in place, teens can explore their interest in dating while anyone they become acquainted with will realize the parental limits that are in place. This takes the pressure off of the teen.

Dating Pressure:The Same Old Line…

0 Some guys might try to exert pressure for sexual activity by expressing deep love or by threatening a break up. This is manipulation – don’t fall for it!

0You should stand up assertively to resist peer or sexual pressure. This may mean ending contact, which would be appropriate in such a situation.

0 If you are told – everyone is doing it – it’s a lie! 0 If he says, I just can’t be with you if you are not willing to take

our relationship to the next level – tell him to take it by himself and be glad you found out what he really values!

0 If a guy really cares for you, he will not want you to do anything that would be embarrassing or unsafe!

0https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zqEdDXWnU4