3 keys for empowered discipline - parent possible · 7/3/2019 · • identify the value of...
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3 Keys for
Empowered
DisciplinePresented by
Mary Dravis-Parrish
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ABCs for Empowering Kids™
• Online course
• In Person Class- 3 hours or series
• Contact for more info- sign up to be
contacted
• Online course
• In person course/workshop
• Sign up to receive more info
ABCs for Empowering
Kids™
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On our journey today, you will:
• Identify the value of empowered discipline
• Introduce 3 key concepts to apply when
responding to discipline that empower both
adult and child.
• Give examples of each key
• Apply the 3 Keys to your situations
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Meet Mary…
Today Mary is:
An Empowered Parent and
Grandparent
Parent Whisperer
Author, Speaker
Host of Radio Show-
Be You Parenting™
Living a life of joy
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What do we know about
behavior?
❖ anything that an organism does involving action and response to stimulation
❖ the response of an individual to its environment
❖ it is a form of communicating and expressing
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What is discipline?
• to punish or penalize for the sake of enforcing obedience and perfecting moral character
• to train or develop by instruction and exercise
• to bring under control
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What are some side effects of
discipline?
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The Locks…
EXPECTATIONS
CONCLUSIONS
ASSUMPTIONS
JUDGMENTS
These are based on your experiences and beliefs,
and lead to…
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CONFUSION
FRUSTRATION
ANGER
REGRET
Yours and
theirs
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What else is possible?
To raise children so that they receive the
training they need to prosper and succeed with
confidence?
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What is Empowered Discipline?
• A response to an action that brings more awareness to the reason for the behavior
• Allows the training/learning to come from acknowledgment, curiosity and choice
• Allows all involved to be empowered and respected
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What is your role?
To provide a mutually
supportive environment
that allows parent/adult
and child to grow in
awareness and choice in
order to Be their true self.
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Key 1 Acknowledge
What is Acknowledgment?
❖ To admit to what is real or true;
❖ To recognize the existence, truth, or fact
❖ To express recognition or realization
without judgment
What acknowledgment is not:
It is not a compliment, validation, praise, cheerleading
or thanking. It is not a reward or punishment.
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Ways to Acknowledge Kids
Examples:
• You passed your test. You didn’t pass your test.
• You got dressed all by yourself. You got dressed with help.
• How did it work not wearing your snow boots today?
• You seem to be angry, tired, frustrated, silly, happy, etc.
• What would work better for you, to eat now
or after you get dressed?
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Play with Acknowledging Kids
Homeplay: Write down at least 3 acknowledgments you can say to a child.
1______________________________________________2______________________________________________3______________________________________________
Your turn! Write down 1 acknowledgment you can say to a child.
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Key 2 Be Curious
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Empowering Questions
What else is possible?
What question can I ask here?
What do I know about this?
What does this child need?
What can I say that h/she can
hear?
How does it get better than
this? I wonder … What if …
What do I need?
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Acknowledge- I saw Tommy throw sand at Sam.
Question: What do I know about this?
Acknowledge- Tommy I see you threw sand at Sam.
Question- What can you tell me about that?
Acknowledge- I’ve told Dena 3 times to pick up the toys and
she hasn’t.
Question: What else is possible?
Acknowledge- Dena, the toys are not picked up.
Question- What is going on?
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Key 3- Choice
What is Choice?
● An act of selecting or making a decision when faced with
two or more possibilities.
● The right, power, or opportunity to select from options.
● The capacity to create something new and different.
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Using the 3 Keys with Kids
What question can I ask?
What’s up? What’s going on? What can I say that s/he can hear?
What do you need? I wonder what you could do until I finish? What if I talk with you in just a moment?
I wonder what happened? What do you know about hitting? What do you need? What other choice do you have?
What is the child choosing?
The child is crying.
The child is pulling at you and wants your attention but you are in the middle of a conversation.
The child just hit another child.
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Play with using the 3 Keys
What is a situation that you can turn
into an acknowledgment, ask a question
and create a different choice?
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ACKNOWLEDGMENT
BE CURIOUSCHOICE
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Contact info:
Mary Dravis-Parrish, CBF, CFMW
Author-Empowered Parents Empowering Kids
Radio Show Host- Be You Parenting on Inspired Choices Network
BeYouParenting.com
Email:[email protected]