Thesis Workshop4/21/11

Thesis makes no claim Subject linked to the intention to write

about it, but without a claim Even if altered, the thesis still may not need

to be defended or arguedExample:I’m going to write about Darwin’s concerns with evolution in The Origin of Species

Weak Thesis Type 1

Raise specific issues for the essay to explore

Example:Darwin’s concern with survival of the fittest in The Origin of Species initially leads him to neglect a potentially conflicting aspect of his theory of evolution – survival as a matter of interdependence.

Solution

The thesis is obviously true or is a statement of fact

A thesis needs to be an assertion with which it would be possible for readers to disagree.

Therefore, universally accepted claims, or statements that are generally accepted as true will not make a good thesis statement.

Example:The jean industry targets its advertisements to appeal to young adults.

Weak Thesis Type 2

Find some avenue of inquiry – a question about the facts or an issue raised by them. Make an assertion with which it would be possible for readers to disagree.

Example:By inventing new terms, such as “loose fit” and “relaxed fit,” the jean industry has attempted to normalize, even glorify, its product for an older and more obese generation.

Solution

The thesis restates conventional wisdom Conventional wisdom is like a cultural cliché These are ideas that have, overtime,

become trite. They are generally culturally “approved”

Example:An important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’ points of view.

Weak thesis type 3

Seek to complicate, or see more than one point of view on, your subject. Avoid conventional wisdom unless you can introduce a fresh perspective on it.

Example:While an important part of one’s college education is learning to better understand others’ points of view, a persistent danger is that the students will simply be required to substitute the teacher’s answers for the ones they grew up uncritically believing.

Solution

Bases its claim on personal conviction Avoid simply approval or disapproval Don’t judge or testify to their worth, but

rather, evaluate them analytically Need to be able to think from multiple

perspectives if you are going to have the ability to defend your argument against challenges

Weak thesis type 4

Example:Although I agree with Jeane Kirkpatrick’s argument that environmentalists and business should work together to ensure the ecological future of the world, and that this cooperation is beneficial for both sides, the indisputable fact is that environmental considerations should always be a part of any decision that is made. Any individual, if he looks deeply enough into his soul, knows what is right and what is wrong. The environment should be protected because it is the right thing to do not because someone is forcing you to do it.

Weak thesis type 3 continued

Try other points of view honestly and dispassionately; treat your ideas as hypotheses to be tested rather then inherent truths.

One way is to replace opinions (in the form of self-evident truths) with ideas or theories about the meaning and significance of the subjects that are capable of being supported and qualified

Solution

Although I agree with Jeane Kirkpatrick’s argument that environmentalists and businesses should work together to ensure the ecological future of the world, her argument undervalues the necessity of pressuring businesses to attend to environmental concerns that may not benefit them in the short run

Solution continued

Makes an overly broad claim Overly generalized thesis avoid complexity Do not use “both positive and negative”

type statementsExample:Othello is a play about love and jealousy

Weak thesis type 5

Convert broad categories and generic claims to more specific, more qualified assertions

Find new ways to bring out the complexity of your subject

ExampleAlthough Othello appears to attack jealousy, it also supports the skepticism of the jealous characters over the naïveté of the lovers.

Solution