5 WAYS TO MAKE THE FRENCH LOVE YOU!

Travel and adventure

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The French have a reputation for being rude and hard-to-please. But that’s mostly due to a language barrier - literally and culturally. Here are five tips to make the French adore you!

The French have a reputation for being rude and hard-to-please. But that’s mostly due to a language barrier - literally and culturally. On your next trip to their country, here are some ways to make the French love you:

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1. Know how to say a few polite words in French…or at least be polite.

No one expects you to speak fluent French- not even the French themselves. But the French don’t think you should come to their country and automatically expect them to speak your native language, either.Here in Paris, I can’t say how many times I see people – especially native English-speakers like me - order something in a restaurant or ask a question in a shop as if they’re back home. Not only is this often useless (believe it or not, many French people don’t speak English, or they don’t understand your regional pronunciation); I also find it disrespectful…and judging by their reactions, most French people do, too.

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So before you leave, know how to at least say “hello (bonjour), “goodbye” (au revoir), “please” (s’il vous plait), and “thank you” (merci) in French. (These are words you should learn to say in the native language of any country you visit, in my opinion.) And remember that communicating with gestures and looking apologetic and humble about having to use your language in a foreign place can go a long way, as well.

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2. Don't expect everyone to speak English.

English is considered the language of travel today, even by the French. But that doesn’t mean everyone speaks it…or is confident enough to speak it. Some French people may never have studied English. Even if they did, because of their culture’s frankness and a tendency to criticize rather than blindly praise, many people here are too intimidated to speak English (or any other foreign language for that matter). But these excuses aren’t even necessary: English isn’t the official language of France. Here, English-speakers should be seen as a bonus, not an expectation.

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3. Quiet down.

Many of us come from cultures where being loud usually isn’t a problem. As an American, I grew up laughing at the top of my lungs and regularly exclaiming in happiness or surprise. I never realized this wasn’t the norm – until I came to live in France. Here, loudness is generally seen as disrespectful and unnecessary. There are some exceptions, like parties and sporting events, but if you’re visiting museums, monuments, or shops, taking public transport, or having a meal, try to keep your voice to a normal or low level, like the native French people around you are doing.

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4. Be prepared

Because France is so often associated with luxury and beauty, people may be shocked when they come here and find that, yes, there’s beauty, and yes, there are luxury hotels and products if you have the money for them, but there are also some less appealing sides to life. Try to read hotel reviews or travel accounts by people from your country so that you’re ready for the unexpected. If there’s something you absolutely need to be comfortable (air conditioning, for example), or for medical reasons (like wheelchair accessibility), be sure to check that this is going to be available where you’re staying. If you can’t do research, come to France knowing that, as with any new place, you’ll probably be surprised by at least one thing here. Nobody likes a bad attitude, and being prepared for these different standards will mean you’re less likely to complain or be grumpy about them.

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5. Dress up a little

I was reluctant to include this suggestion because when you travel, your absolute priority clothes- and shoe- wise should be comfort. But looking like you’re sloppily dressed (a criticism the French often have for Americans, among other cultures) is nevertheless not something the French respect. It’s not that they won’t like you, but if you’re wearing athletic sneakers, a sweatshirt, pants with writing on the butt, or, in many cases, flip-flops, they generally aren’t going to immediately love you. This may not matter – and, again, ultimately it shouldn’t be your priority. But what I’d advise is, if you generally dress like you could be in a gym or lounging at home, try to see if you can find comfortable clothes that look a little nicer than average. For example, I have walking shoes that look like black Mary Janes. They support my feet like sneakers, and I can walk in them all day without a problem, but I also look a little dressed up. If you don’t want to or can’t make adjustments, think about dressing the way you prefer when you’re seeing the sights, but changing for dinner.

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You don’t have to wear a tuxedo or a ball gown – just put on footwear other than athletic sneakers, flip-flops, or sporty sandals, and maybe wear khakis and a button-down shirt (or, if you’re a woman you can also choose a skirt or sundress) instead of jeans or beat-up shorts and a tee- or sweat-shirt. If you keep these tips in mind, the French should love you. And so should people wherever you go; if you think about it, politeness, respect, going with the flow, and presenting yourself well are qualities that are appreciated just about anywhere. Bon voyage!

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