50 crucial-tips-in-rebuilding-your-relationship

50 Crucial Tips In Rebuilding Your Relationship – 101waystogetexback.com

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About the Author: Paula Scott is an expert relationship

adviser who offers consultations to people who are going

through bad times in their relationships. She is also the

author of many articles about getting your ex back, making

relationships work and bettering oneself so as to help

people to solve their sentimental problems. You can visit

her blog and find more free relationship tips at

http://101waystogetexback.com/

https://plus.google.com/117194515860955675645/posts




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eing involved in a relationship can be the most

rewarding and satisfying part of your life but it

is not always going to be perfect. When you

get married, it is just the same as beginning a new

career; it’s going to be a challenge with which you

must persevere if it is to be a success. You will

experience pain, joy, happiness, and weariness

sometimes all in the same day! In recent years, more

couples just give up and quit the relationship without

giving a second thought to what they might do

together to make things work. Just like that new

career that you are developing, you must give 100% in

any relationship to achieve the level of happiness that

you seek to find.

You can repair a relationship that has come unglued

or unraveled by following some sound principles and

practices that require both partners being committed

and devoted to rebuilding the relationship. Sooner or

later marriages develop problems or conflicts that

cannot be anticipated or avoided. These situations

will have to be resolved with a concentrated effort on

the part of both partners as they arise. Often times a

relationship is much stronger and much more mature

for both individuals. Rebuilding a your relationship is

a complex process that won’t be repaired overnight

but roll up your sleeves and try some of the methods

below to begin the healing process.

B



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1. If it is not an obvious Determine what the problem is.

problem, consider the choices you might have in deciding what

is wrong. Is it money, stress, or distance? The first step on the

road to reconstruction of any problem or relationship is to

determine the cause of the situation.

2. Begin with a full commitment to rebuild the relationship

You must that was once the center of your happiness.

devote your entire heart to the effort, not just half of it. This is

where you give 110% to repairing the damage that has been

done.

3. Avoid the blame game Get past whoever is right or wrong.

which will do nothing to foster good will and the hope for a new

beginning.

4. Step outside your own viewpoint and look at things from

Try to understand how they the other person’s perspective.

are feeling and perceiving the situation.

5. Their Have empathy and compassion for your partner.

feelings are hurt, they are in pain; they need someone to see

what they are seeing through the filters related to their life

experiences.

6. Develop a list of the positive things about your

Recall all the fond memories and the enjoyable relationship.

activities that you have shared. This will emphasize the solid

foundation on which you built this relationship in the first place.



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7. household List the negative aspects of the relationship. If

chores are being done by one person or there are other

indications of an unfair workload around the house, then these

issues need to be addressed.

8. Both of you should begin the Be big enough to apologize.

rebuilding process with an apology for things that have been

done and said. This shows that you are truly interested in

rekindling the flame that began your relationship and it levels

the rebuilding field. Admitting mistakes and commit to moving

forward.

9. A lot Decide that you will both be givers in this relationship.

of resentment builds up when one person thinks that they are

giving all they have and the other person is a taker who

receives the benefits of the relationship without much effort.

When you give something, ask for something in return as you

begin to rebuild your relationship.

10. A counselor will be a neutral party who Consider counseling.

won’t take sides but will listen and then repeat exactly what you

are saying and hearing to each other. Many times we say one

thing and mean another or we hear something totally different

than what the intended message was. This person can discover

what is broken in the relationship and lead you to ways of fixing

the problems.

11. You can list how you Identify your strengths as a couple.

handle adversity and any other crisis that might arise. This is an

excellent time to compliment each other and try to rebuild self-

esteem.



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12. List your weaknesses very carefully and compassionately.

You will begin to see as you develop this list where your

differences of opinion lie and where the room for restructuring

should begin. Don’t accuse or berate each other; simply state

the facts as you each perceive them.

13. Share control of everything from the remote to the

one person is always “in charge” then the other thermostat. If

person becomes uninterested and disengaged. Decide to

balance the control issue in your relationship with the tiniest of

details. Little acorns grow into big trees and small issues can

wreck a relationship!

14. Your relationship didn’t get to this level Be open and honest.

of brokenness over night and it wasn’t caused by one problem.

It will be healthy for you to discuss openly and honestly quite

often just what you want or need from the other person and

vice versa. Don’t be unkind but be thoughtful and deliberate in

your conversations.

15. Intelligently consider of Keep your expectations realistic.

what your partner is capable of doing and providing. Revisit

these expectations together and talk about progress or failure

in meeting these expectations.

16. You can’t Work on changing yourself and not your mate.

change them and the sooner you realize this the more peace

you will experience. The only person whom you can change is

you! You have to come to the decision to change yourself and

until you do, you are wasting your time and efforts on any

program or campaign for change.



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17. will only cause friction Don’t pressure your mate. This

between the two of you and drive distance between you. Ask

them to do something once and then leave the time to complete

the task up to them.

18. Everyone needs Meet the emotional needs of your mate.

attention, approval, respect, and support. By being there to

offer comfort and security, you will be laying the building blocks

for rebuilding your relationship. Make sure that the supply of

emotional support that you provide for your spouse is adequate

and in good measure.

19. This means that you should spend Become friends again.

quality time doing some of the things that you did when you first

fell in love. Go on picnics, attend movies, walk hand-in-hand

and share a quiet moment. Talk on the phone, talk constantly,

and really listen to what is being said. Respond accordingly and

demonstrate to your mate that you care enough about them,

their thoughts, and their ideas to listen attentively.

20. is the cornerstone in any relationship. It’s Rebuild trust. This

hard to develop but only takes a short time to destroy. After

destruction of trust, it will take a very long time to reconstruct.

You will have to tend and nurture this fragile bond as you would

a small child. Monitor your behavior at all times and be aware

of how you are treating each other; this will foster the rebuilding

of a strong and trusting relationship.

21. You have been discouraged and Do not lose hope.

disappointed but you must remember that hard work,



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dedication, and a new direction can begin anew what you once

enjoyed.

22. You must decide how your relationship Make a plan together.

will proceed from here. Use every opportunity available to you

to begin the process of rebuilding. Just like rebuilding a house

after a terrible storm destroys it, you must begin at the

foundation and work your way up to the concepts that have

been damaged in your relationship.

23. You need to share a Laugh and have fun with each other.

hobby or find an activity that interests both of you and have fun

with it. This might be a time to try something new that you both

have discussed in the past but never made time to do. Now is

the time to make time! Laugher is medicine for the soul. Give

your souls a good dose of laughter as often as possible.

24. The Understand that you will rebuild a new relationship.

rebuilding process is not to recapture the relationship you had.

This crisis was caused by whatever was wrong in the old

relationship; this is the time for a new direction. Use different

approaches and strategies to form a relationship that is much

stronger and healthier than the old one was.

25. You want to be an Begin to think like a couple thinks.

effective team during this rebuilding process so you must begin

to think like an efficient team. You can’t be selfish nor can you

be so independent that you won’t give up ideas that an

individual would use in problem solving or other situations that

might arise. You want to approach everything as a couple so

together you can reap double the rewards.



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26. You can’t smother You have to give your spouse space.

them and control their every move. You must encourage them

to seek hobbies and interests that will strengthen their self-

confidence and self-esteem. Let them develop as a person and

they will respond favorably to you and your development as an

individual.

27. Not one of us is perfect and in your relationship Be patient.

rebuilding process, you must be patient and love your mate

with compassion and caring. Be flexible in your reactions and

responses. Take time to think before you speak something that

might cause a backset in what you have worked so hard to

rebuild. Don’t be in a hurry; rebuilding a relationship will take

time.

28. This is an expansive area that requires Respect each other.

particular attention to all facets of personality and habits. You

must respect each other’s values, privacy, career, and

character. Learn to appreciate their sense of humor and their

point of view. Be strong for them when they are weak and

respect their efforts and choices. Respect will be the stone that

is placed on top of the cornerstone of your relationship. It sets

the tone for your marriage and its success or failure.

29. Make time to work on the rebuilding of your relationship.

Everyone is busy with hectic careers and families but time is of

the essence when a relationship is broken and is in need of

repair. Compare your schedules and “pencil in” your spouse for

some down time. You can use this time to select any of the

methods listed thus far and work with them. The more time you



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set aside to spend together, the faster the healing will permeate

through your interactions.

30. As you look at the schedules, make time to Plan a date night.

take your spouse out for a date like you used to enjoy. It should

be just the two of you and should include an activity that you

both enjoy doing. Try not to discuss the children, problems at

work, or repairs needed around the house. You are working on

what needs the most repairs as you communicate on this

evening out.

31. You should have some friends Go out with other couples.

that you see on a regular basis as a couple. You don’t have to

dine out at expensive restaurants; you can cook a meal

together in someone’s home or just sit and have snacks.

Engage in good, strong communication and share experiences

and thoughts on a variety of subjects. This will give each

spouse a chance to connect with people who are going through

some of the same issues that youare going through. Laugh,

enjoy, and be yourself; this will make your relationship stronger

too.

32. You should be as positive as you can be in Don’t complain.

the situation. No one likes to be around someone who is

negative and never has anything good to say. Complaining will

dampen your spirits and cause your relationship rebuilding

process to stagnate.

33. You are wasting valuable Stop judging yourself and others.

time and effort when you continually judge your spouse or



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yourself too harshly. You have to get past the past and dive into

a brighter, more positive future.

34. Have conversations about things that don’t really matter.

By discussing things that are not crucial to your relationship

and are not a source of conflict, you open communication lines

that can later be used to discuss the more pressing issues and

concerns. This way, you can become accustomed to carrying

on a good conversation with your spouse and deal more

efficiently with the problems at hand.

35. You have to forget the past and move Forgive yourself.

toward a better and brighter future and the sooner you forgive

yourself, the sooner the healing process can being. Try to

forget the guilt you are carrying around and understand that this

is a big stumbling block in the rebuilding of your relationship

with your spouse.

36. Take baby steps as you work through the rebuilding

You cannot expect success to come overnight. Take process.

things easy and at a pace that is comfortable for you and your

spouse. If you get in a big hurry to get things “back to normal”

you will take two steps forward and three steps backward every

time you encounter another problem. A slow, easy, deliberate

pace is the best method for success.

37. Address every problem that is wrong in your relationship.

You can’t skip this step in the process. Just like a house

infested with termites, your relationship cannot stand to built on

a foundation that is still infested with the same problems. You



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must exterminate all problems that caused the breakdown of

your relationship and start fresh with a clean foundation.

38. Maintain the changes you are making and make them work

You can’t just make these changes for you and your spouse.

and adjustments in a relationship and forget about them.

Monitor them and the results they are bringing to you daily and

modify them when you need to.

39. Many couples go through the healing Strive for change.

process, make changes, and the return to their old habits and

ways of doing things. They are destined to make the same

mistakes that caused the breakdown of their relationship in the

first place. You don’t want your relationship to return to the way

it was; strive for a new and improved version.

40. Whether it’s at work or at home, make Control your stress.

sure that you control your stress and maintain a balance in your

moods and reactions to events. Stress is an unhealthy by-

product of worry and fear. If you have it under control, it will not

control you, your life, your spouse or your relationship. There

are many techniques involving exercising that will reduce stress

levels dramatically.

41. Don’t try to put on a Be comfortable with who you are.

facade that most people will see through and one that will make

you miserable. Be true to yourself, who you are, what you

believe, and what you are about. Self-discovery is a key in

developing and maintaining a strong relationship with your

mate.



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42. If you do keep a secret and it eventually is Don’t keep secrets.

found out, more damage will be done to your relationship

building than you can imagine. Secrets eat away at trust and

honesty and jeopardize any success of rebuilding that you

might have.

43. Demonstrate faith in your relationship and your partner.

You will have to encourage your partner and regain trust and

the faith that has been compromised. Let them know you

believe in them and your relationship; show them that it’s worth

the effort to save.

44. Bumps in the road of the rebuilding process are to be

Keep all of your discussions and business with each expected.

other out in the open. Don’t make mountains out of molehills

and be reasonable. Avoid unfair demands on their time, skills,

or attitudes about the process taking place.

45. Don’t for get to be courteous in all of your dealings with

Be open to their suggestions and ideas and your spouse.

relate to them in an encouraging way. Good manners are

always in style and by being courteous to your spouse you will

show them that you really do care about them.

46. Even if no one is watching, do what Always do what is right.

is right for you and your relationship. Give them credit when

they deserve it and let them know that you are working on your

weaknesses with their help and guidance. Always keep your

commitments on your mind.



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47. Be aware of improvements in your relationship and

As you see progress being discuss them with your partner.

made and changes occurring, bring these to the attention of

your spouse and make strong, positive comments about how

bright the future looks. Keeping progress at the forefront of

daily discussions will foster even more progress. Build on these

successes and watch them multiply and healing proceed

rapidly.

48. Some couples Don’t compare yourself to other couples.

seem like they have the perfect relationship but you can rest

assured that all couples have their issues. You need to

concentrate on your relationship rebuilding efforts and avoid

paying attention to the perfect couple next door. Your issues

have arisen for a particular reason and your goal should be to

address these problems immediately before they worsen.

49. Being intimate with your spouse Set aside time for intimacy.

is fulfilling one of your basic needs. It may take some time for

this part of the relationship to revive itself, but careful attention

to all of the tips above will help to assure you that the

commitments that you have made to each other as a couple will

once again be honored.

50. Building a broken relationship is a Know what your limits are.

task that is hard work and takes a lot of understanding and

effort. Sometimes you will need to step back and take a look at

the relationship to see how it is improving and changing. This

will sharpen your perspective on the methods that are working

for you and those that are not. It will enable you to make better

modifications that will aid in healing. Listen to your heart and



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your spouse and try to determine what is best for you as a

couple.

ebuilding a relationship can’t be fixed

overnight but with compassion, caring, and

consideration of your mate, success is right

across that threshold. Learn the best ways to

communicate ideas to your mate and commit to doing

your share of the workload in the tedious process of

regaining trust, honesty, and respect. You will find

that repair will come with time and feelings will

deepen with true respect. Reaping the benefits of

what once made life more meaningful to you will

make all the hard work certainly worthwhile. In the

process, you will learn more about your spouse and

yourself; your relationship will deepen and grow to

wonderful heights of love.

R

About the Author: Paula Scott is an expert relationship

adviser who offers consultations to people who are going

through bad times in their relationships. She is also the

author of many articles about getting your ex back, making

relationships work and bettering oneself so as to help

people to solve their sentimental problems. You can visit

her blog and find more free relationship tips at


https://plus.google.com/117194515860955675645/posts


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