---------------BOOK DETAILS---------------- [BOOK NAME] 6 Letters, Two Words. Easy to say, hard to explain, harder to do: MOVE ON. [TOTALPARTS] 15------------------------------------------- [ BOOK DESCRIPTION ] --------------------------------------------The title says it all :)-------------------------------------------*******************************************[1] Prologue*******************************************How many times do you need to get hurt for you to know it's time to let go? Ang hirap na tanong ano? Hanggang kelan nga ba? Nasusukat ba ang katangahan ng tao? May MARTYRDOMETER ba na pwedeng gamitin para malaman kung hanggang kelan ka lang dapat magpakasakit before you actually let go?--In a failed relationship, there are two personas: The one who left and the one that's left behind. The former enjoys a lot while the latter dies slowly. The one who left rejoices as if he won a case, the other one though not guilty was jailed. The first one will find a new love but the last will stick for love to come back. The one who left brought the memories and the other was left with a scar. Lastly, the one who left wakes up to a brand new day while the one left behind wakes up with another day to battle the pain... -- Ako yung latter. Ako yung iniwan. Ako yung umaasang babalikan...*******************************************[2] Start With A Broken Heart*******************************************It was a battle of will to wake up in the morning and not cry upon seeing the empty space beside you. The space where he used to lie. That space where you used to see him smiling at you when you wake up in the morning and where he cuddles with you before sleeping at night. Now it's all gone. What was left was a big space that I can't fill up on my own. I used to share all my dreams with him here, in my room. But last night was the last time... I'm afraid that he won't be coming back anymore. He said he fell out of love. Akala ko nung una, imposible yung ganun. Maybe because we were so in love that I never thought that time will come when we will be apart. Hurting... was an understatement of what I'm feeling right now. I want to kill myself. Maybe I was about to, I don't know. I guess my head was drained with all the fluid due to my intense crying that I wasn't really aware of what I was thinking. Uh... I thought I heard my phone ring from somewhere. Now where is it? I looked behind my pillow. It wasn't there. I looked under the bed. No. Not there. Ipinagpag ko yung kumot. Then I heard a soft thump. My phone fell on the bed. It was still ringing. "Hello?" I answered. Hearing my croaky voice put me on the edge of crying once again.. "Thank God you picked up! How are you? Pupuntahan ka namin ni Denise dyan!" I heard my friend Ree say on the other line. Hindi na ako nakapagsalita. I just cried some more... "Hello? Mira?""Umiiyak na naman ba?""Oo weh. Mira? Speak up! Are you okay?" Of course I'm not okay! How the hell would I be okay? I just came out of a five-year relationship for God's sake! "Don't do anything stupid okay? We're coming over!" Don't do anything stupid... Huh. Funny. I've been doing that exact same thing for the past five years... I've been trying to make our relationship work for God knows how long but it was like trying to build a house with two by fours and glue.It was stupid to even think that it will work. --- They both hugged me tight upon seeing my disarrayed self. Napaiyak na lang ako sa kanila... I think there's nothing better for me to do that to cry my heart out. I think I'm about to cry blood. "There there... it's okay." It bloody hell isn't! I just nodded to avoid more sermon. "It's his loss..." Yes. HIS. I wish I could believe that... Ree held up my face. "Ang laki na ng eyebags mo teh! Nakatulog ka ba kagabi?!" Umiling ako. Iyak nga lang ako ng iyak kagabi eh. Malas pa na insomiac ako. SYA kase.. sinanay nya 'kong laging nagpupuyat. Palagi kase kaming nagmo-movie marathon tapos nagmi-midnight snack. Tapos kulitan galore hanggang sa mag-umaga. Kaya nung bigla syang umalis, hindi ako nakapag-adjust agad. "Aish. Halika nga! Naligo ka na ba?" Inamoy-amoy ako ni Denise habang hila-hila naman ako ni Ree papasok ng condo ko. Umiling ako ulet. "Yuck Mira! Ano ka ba naman? Pinapabayaan mo na yang sarili mo eh. Kumain ka man lang ba?" Umiling ako for the third time. They sighed in unison. Eh kase naman, all I did was cry last night. Kasalanan ko bang unli tears ako kagabi? Haay.. Itinulak ako ni Ree papunta sa shower. "Maligo ka neh. Lalabas tayo." Sabi nya. "Pano?" Pano maligo? Nakalimutan ko na... She glared at me. "Luka! Basta maligo ka." "Okay." Isinara ko yung pintuan. I turned the shower on at tumapat dun. Tumingala pa 'ko kaya halos pumasok na sa mata at ilong ko yung tubig. Pakalunod kaya ako? Haha... Biglang nagbukas yung pintuan. Oo nga pala.. hindi ko ni-lock. Pumasok sina Ree at Denise. "Don't even think about it." Mariing sabi ni Denise. "Think about what?" Painosente kong tanong. "Drowning yourself." Sagot ni Ree. Haay.. alam na nila agad, iniisip ko pa lang? "I'm not sure I'll drown though. Ang hina ng tulo eh." Sumahod ako dun sa shower. They both glared at me. "Joke lang guys. Labas na kayo ng makaligo ako." Sabi ko. Medyo hesitant pa sila nun na iwanan ako kaso pano naman ako makakaligo ng nandun sila, di ba? They looked at me skeptically; na para bang hindi sila naniniwala na matino ako. "Guys, I'm fine." They both sighed saka dahan-dahang isinara ang pintuan. Joke. -- AN: Hindi po magkakasnghaba ang chapter. Maisipan ko lang eh.. pinaghati-hati ko lang ng mas madaling i-digest..haha..*******************************************[3] Find A Cure*******************************************We went out... or rather.. I was forced to go out with them. Shopping daw muna. Sino ba namang babae ang ayaw mag-shopping? AKO. Mas gusto kong magmukmok sa condo ko. Tipid pa sa pera. Hindi pa 'ko pagod. Haaay.. -- Pagkatapos naming mag-shopping, bumalik ulet kami sa condo ko at naglinis sila. Ako nakatanga lang. Ayokong galawin ang kahit ano dun sa condo ko. HE designed it kase. Lahat ng ayos ng furniture, every nook and cranny, sya ang naglagay. Kaya ayoko sanang galawin ang kahit ano dun kase it feels like I'm letting him go when I still can't. Hindi ko pa talaga kaya... Kaso mapilit sila. Eh di sila na lang. Haaay.. -- After cleaning, pinagtulungan nila akong ayusan. Lalabas daw kami. TO MEET NEW FRIENDS. Naku, if I didn't know any better... Itatry lang nila akong i-hook up with some guy. Para makalimot. For sure naman hindi ko yun magagawa kase iku-compare ko lang yung mga lalaking yun sa kanya. We went to this club na sikat daw. Hindi ko alam kase I don't usually go clubbing. Simula nung maging kami, I didn't feel the need to go out and mingle. Sa kanya lang kase umikot ang mundo ko. Tanga eh noh? Buti nga natagalan ako nina Ree kahit hindi ko na sila naiintindi. "Ang baho naman dito." Yun ang una kong napuna. "He wouldn't like it here..." I said to myself. Hate kase nun ang amoy ng alak at sigarilyo eh. Another reason kaya hindi kami nagpupunta sa ganitong lugar. "Eh di mabuti. No chance of running into him.." Toinks. Narinig pala ni Ree yung sinabi ko? Ganun? Ibig sabihin hindi ko sya makikita dito? Haaay... sana pala sa Starbucks na lang ako nag-aya. Dun yun lagi eh. Nakiki-wifi. "Ganun? Uwi na lang ako." Sabi ko. Nawalan ako ng gana. "Di pwede!" Hinila nila akong dalawa tapos nagpunta kami dun sa bar. Umorder sila ng lady's drink. I ordered something harder. Bato. Ipupukpok ko sa ulo ko. Baka sakaling makalimot. -- After a few... err... drinks, I felt drowsy. Hot. Bothered. Nauseated. Lahat na. NAHIHILO AKO. And with the blaring music and eye-sore LED lights, lalo lang sumakit ang ulo ko. Asan ba kase sila? "Hey.. wanna dance?" I looked up to see a blurry image of a guy na nakatungo sa 'kin. Nakaupo kase ako, eh matangkad sya. "Uh.. who're you asking?" He smiled. Wow. Perfect teeth. Naalala ko tuloy yung sungki ni ex na pinabunot namin just last month. Amp. Memories.. why can't they just go away and leave my mind at peace? "You, silly." Naiiling nyang sabi. Hindi ko masabi kung gwapo sya kase medyo madilim yung upper side ng mukha nya. All I know is that he has perfect teeth and lips that girls would be dying to kiss. "Me?" I pointed at myself. He smiled again. "C'mon." He grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. Inilagay nya yung braso ko sa batok nya then he put his arms around my waist. Uh.. alam ko hindi slow yung song? Pero bakit ganun kami magsayaw? Parang tanga lang... "What's your name?" He whispered. Shit ang bango nya. Amidst all these horrid smell, sya lang ang mabango. Lalo tuloy akong nahilo... "Mira. Ikaw?" "Kent." "Ah..." Wow. Ka-rhyme ng name ni ex.. Brent. Takteng yan. Alis ka na sa isip ko ex. Di ka na kailangan eh.. >_< Kent tugged me closer. "Hey.. wanna go somewhere else?" His smell was intoxicating. Ang sexy pa ng voice nya.. pang-bedroom. Very airy. Shete. Baka mamaya rapist 'to weh. "Where?" Ako naman napahigpit ng kapit. Nahihilo ako kaka-sway. Nakailang inom ba 'ko kanina? I can't even remember... "Somewhere quiet." He said. "I'll pleasure you.." (AN: Ayun yung pic ni Kent sa kanan-------------------------------------------------------------------->) -- Lasing ako. Kakabreak ko lang. I'm at my most vulnerable point in life so please don't judge me when I went out with him for this pleasure that he promised to give. Screw tomorrow. -- *The morning of the screwed tomorrow came... Ugh. The aftertaste. The aftermath. Masakit sa ulo! Kainis! Parang pinukpok ng ilang beses ng bote ang ulo ko! Wait... where the hell am I? Pagmulat kase ng mata ko, I'm pretty sure that I'm not in my own room... Iba ang bedsheet. Iba ang kurtina. Iba ang pintura ng wall. And there's somebody else on the bed. Naked... like me. OH MY GOD! I screamed. Napabalikwas ng bangon yung guy sa tabi ko. Ako naman sa katarantahan, nahila ko yung kumot. Buti na lang doble doble yun. "Why?! What's wrong?!" He asked in worry. Una kong napansin yung mukha nya. Ang gwapo takte. Did I just make out with this guy? "Ikaw!" I pointed at him. "Sino ka?!" He frowned. "Don't you remember? I'm Kent." "Kent?" I rummaged my brain for some info on Kent. Takteng utak yan, puno kase ng tungkol kay ex ih... "What's your name?" "Mira. Ikaw?" "Kent." "Ah..." "Hey.. wanna go somewhere else?" "Where?" "Somewhere quiet." He said. "I'll pleasure you.." O_O "Y-You're-" He nodded. Naramdaman kong nag-init yung mukha ko. It was all new to me. THIS. I never made out with a stranger! Sa isang tao ko lang isinuko lahat-lahat. Kay EX. Tumayo ako, dragging a piece of sheet along the way. "I'm going." Nakatungo kong sabi. Nagulat ako ng bigla nyang hinawakan yung braso ko. "Wait." "Bakit?" I asked, rather curtly. He smiled. At ayun, nabato ako sa kinatatayuan ko. Para tuloy.. ayoko ng umalis. Parang ganun ako kay Brent eh. When he smiles, natitigilan na lang ako. Ganun ko sya kamahal... Haaay.. si Ex na naman. "Gusto mong mag-breakfast?" "Hindi na." Mabilis kong sabi. "Sure?" He was still smiling. "Y-Yes." I stammered. "Yes to what?" "Yes I'm sure." "Sure to what?" I sighed. Kakulit din ng isang 'to eh. "I'm going home." I said in finality. His shoulders slumped and he let me go. "Okay, if you really want to." "Uhm.. where are my clothes?" Walang nagkalat na damit sa sahig. Ano yun, inimpis nya? "Nilalabhan." "HA?!" Jusko! Ibig sabihin may pumasok na dito tapos nakita kami... ako..??? He chuckled. "Don't worry. She swore she'd never tell anyone. And besides, sanay na yun sa 'kin." He said as if he's read my mind. Ah... Playboy pala sya. Womanizer. Malandi in all sense of that word. Haynaku. In all fairness naman, mukha syang mabait. Hindi nga lang mapakali sa isang babae. Pang-ilan na kaya ako sa mga nadala nya rito? I shivered at the thought. I hope he used some protection. Takte. Nakakahiya kaseng itanong eh... "Pano yan? Uuwi na 'ko eh.." He smirked. "Then stay for a while. Tutal naman, nilalabhan pa yung mga damit mo." Umiling ako. Nagulat ako ng lumapit sya. T-Teka... Napapikit ako. Takte ano ba yan! Narinig ko syang tumawa. "Relax." I felt his hand on my face tapos yung isang kamay kinabig ako palapit. Napamulat ako. Ang lapit ng mukha nya. Takteng yan. Tama na yung kagabi. Ayoko na! Magagalit si ex... Toinks. Asa naman ako. He tilted his head. Hahalikan nya 'ko for sure. Umurong ako. "I really have to go." Mariin kong sabi. He sighed. "You can use my bathroom." Itinuro nya yung naka-ajar na pintuan sa may likuran ko. "Pano yung damit ko?" "I'll lend you my sister's." "Pano yung undies?" Dami kong demands noh? Haha... Syempre, ngayon na lang naman kami magkikita eh kaya hayaan na. "May spare sya dyan." "Okay." I headed to the bathroom, balot pa rin ng kumot. -- Paglabas ko ng bathroom nya, nakita kong nakalatag yung damit na sinabi nyang ipapahiram nya sa 'kin. Hindi ko na sya nakita after that. Paglabas ko ng kwarto nya eh yung maid na lang yung naabutan ko. Pinapakain pa nga ako weh kaso tumanggi ako. -- Pag-uwi ko sa condo ko, nandun sina Ree sa may pintuan, inaantay ako. Galit na galit sila sa 'kin for leaving without permission. Walang habas pa ang pambabatok nila sa 'kin. Hanep. Nakalog ata si ex sa utak ko.. -- *******************************************[4] Up The Dosage******************************************* A few days later, nagpunta ulet ako dito sa fave tambayan ni ex. Sa Starbucks. Who knows? I might run into him here... Sana... Nadinig naman agad ang panalangin ko. Nakita ko si ex, having coffee with some girl. Bumangon agad yung inis sa dibdib ko. He FELL out of love? O may nang-agaw lang talaga sa attention nya? Kainis! Masugod nga ah! "Where do you think you're going?" Si Kent. Nakaharang sa daan ko. "Tabi nga dyan!" I pushed him aside... or I tried to anyway. He didn't budge. "Why are you so angry?" "I'm PMS-ing! Get the hell out of my way!" Tumawa sya. "Kakaiba ka talaga. Ikaw lang ata ang babaeng nakilala ko na aminadong nagpi-PMS!" "Tse! Tabi nga!" "Ayoko." He stepped on his right ng humakbang ako sa kaliwa ko. Asar naman 'to. Nakuha pang makipagpatintero. I gave out an exasperated sigh. We're causing a scene na eh ayaw pa rin nyang tumabi. "Kenneth-" "Uy galing ah! How did you know my real name?" "Eh?" Hula ko lang yun eh. Kunware nakalimutan ko na yung name nya so I came up with a name na medyo malapit sa Kent. Tsamba pa. Pangalan nya pala talaga yun. "Gusto mong mag-coffee?" Nakangiti nyang tanong. "Ayoko! I want you out of my way!" "Wrong answer!" Hinila nya 'ko palabas ng Starbucks. "Akala ko ba magkakape tayo?" "Ayoko dyan. Ang mahal eh.." Ganun? Ang yaman yaman nya eh... Oo mayaman sya. Kita ko sa bahay nya. Tatlo pa kotse nya. Psh. San kaya ako dadalhin nito? Isinakay nya 'ko sa kotse nya. At parang sinadya pa talaga nyang ilapit yung mukha nya sa mukha ko nung ibinuckle nya yung seatbelt ko.. which I didn't ask him to do! Ngumiti pa sya nung magkatapat yung mga mukha namin. "Ang gwapo ko noh?" Sabi nya. Tumaas hanggang bubong ng kotse nya yung kilay ko. "So?" "Wala lang. I'm just wondering kung bakit ganyan ka sa 'kin. Don't you find me attractive?" "No." Kay ex lang ako attracted. "Really? So you won't mind at all if I kiss you?" He challenged. "Sure." I accepted. He kissed me. And I was right. I didn't feel anything. Kilig lang... pero syempre, ikaw ba naman ang halikan ng ubod ng gwapo kung hindi ka rin kiligin. But that's that. Wala ng iba. Wala yung parang floating on air feeling na kay ex ko lang nararamdaman. He sensed siguro that I wasn't into it because he ended it so abruptly. Kunot ang noo nya ng tumingin sya sa 'kin. "Ouch." Sabi nya. "Yeah. It burns, doesn't it? Pwede na ba 'kong umalis?" I opened the door pero mabilis din nya yung naisara. "No." "Bakit na naman?" "You think that you can get away that easily for hurting my ego?" "Yes? Maybe? Look. I wasn't in a mood for playing your games today, okay? Maghanap ka ng ibang makakalaro mo." Tiningnan nya 'ko ng masama. Nakipagtitigan ako sa kanya. One thing I know for sure.. I wasn't afraid of this guy. Kay ex lang ako takot. Leche. Ex na naman Mira? Pasagasa kaya ako? Baka sakalaing matauhan?! Si Ex. Out of the corner of my eye, nakita ko syang palapit sa kotse nya. Ipinagbukas pa nya ng pintuan yung girl na kasama nya. "Tabi! Bababa ako!" Pasigaw kong sabi kay Kent. He was looking at them too. Sinundan ata ang tingin ko. "Who are they?" "None of your business." "Who's he? Ex mo?" Napaiwas ako ng tingin. "It's none of your business." "Look at me." He tilted my head so that I have no choice but to look straight at him. "What? 'Wag kang maawa sa 'kin." He sighed saka lang sya naupo ng maayos sa driver's seat. "I don't pity you." "Good." "But... I wanna help you." "I don't need your help." "Maybe. But I still want too." "I don't." Nakipagsukatan ako ng tingin sa kanya. By that time, nakaalis na ang kotse ni ex. "Let's go someplace." "Ayoko." "Whatever." He drove off. Gustuhin ko mang bumaba eh nakalock naman yung pintuan. -- Naulit pa yung pagkikita namin ni Kent kase pinuntahan nya 'ko sa condo ko. Derecho pasok nga eh. Akala mo dun nakatira. May dala syang Chinese takeouts. "Inimbita ba kita?" "I don't think so. Why?" He started eating the food he brought. "Then why are you here?!" He shrugged. Prente pang itinaas ang dalawang paa nya dun sa coffee table ko. "Gusto mo?" He offered the box he's holding. Umiling ako. "Umalis ka na lang pwede?" He sighed, put down the food and walked towards me. Dere-derecho sya kaya alam kong kapag hindi ako umurong eh mabubunggo nya 'ko. Kaya umurong ako ng umurong hanggang sa magtama na yung pader at likod ko. "Why are you always rejecting me?" He asked. "Why are you always chasing after me?" Pabalik kong tanong. "Because I'm intrigued." He said. "Why?" "Because you poured your heart out to a stranger at the bar. I was listening to you. All you blab about was your ex and your failed relationship. Geez! Why don't you just move on and get a life?" "Why do you care?" Nakakainis. I never asked him to listen to any of that tapos ngayon susumbatan nya 'ko? Papangaralan? Who does he think he is?! "I don't know!" He put his hands on each side of my face. "I don't know why... but for some reason, I found myself taking you home and not doing anything to you.. except na hinubaran kita ng damit kase nasukahan mo yun." Napamulagat ako. "You mean to say walang nangyare?" Umiling sya. "Sayang nga eh. Kung alam ko lang na ang sarap mo palang halikan.. di sana sinamantala ko na." He smirked. "Why did you lie?" "I don't know. Hindi ko alam kung bakit I wanted you to stay badly at my house at gusto ko pang makipagkwentuhan sa 'yo. Ang weird mo nga eh! But in spite your weirdness, I felt like I'm being drawn to you." "Gusto mo 'ko?" Yun na lang ang natanong ko. He nodded. "I think so.." "Eh?" Bakit? Bakit nya 'ko gusto? Nakakatuwa naman. Haha.. ewan ko. It feels nice to know that someone likes you. After ex, I felt like I did something wrong to deserve that. Akala ko nasa 'kin ang mali. This.. Kent.. was proving me wrong.. "Really? That's all you can say?" Matabang nyang tanong. "Kent..." What can I say? Alam ko namang mahal ko pa ang ex ko. Kahit anong gawin nya, hindi ko sya magugustuhan.. kahit parang sobrang perfect na nga nya para sa 'kin... "I'm willing to help you get over him Mira. Will you let me?" Do I really have to forget my ex? Can't I live with even just my memories of him? Kelangan ko na ba talaga syang kallimutan? Pero... Napapagod na rin ako sa kahihintay sa pagbalik nya sa 'kin. "Mira?" I sighed, looked him in the eye and took a leap of faith. "Okay..." I finally said. -- *******************************************[5] M******************************************* Make your heart accept defeat. He said we'll do this his way. So I had no choice but to follow his "how to move on" list. Nagtataka lang ako kung bakit dito na naman kami sa Starbucks pumunta. Akala ko ba kelangan ko ng kalimutan si ex? Eh bakit nandito ako sa favorite place nya? "What are we doing here?" I asked him. He shrugged. "Magkakape." "Bakit dito pa?" He smirked. "Di ba favorite place nya 'to?" He asked. I nodded. "Then we wait..." So we waited. A few minutes later, nakita naming pumasok si ex kasama yung girl na kasama nya a few weeks ago. I choked back the tears that were about to fall. Matatanggap ko sana kung ibang babae na yung kasama nya eh. At least I could say that it was just his fleeting fancy. Pero ilang linggo na ang nakakalipas.. yung babae pa rin na yun? Di ba may something na? Gusto ko silang sugurin. Gusto kong magwala... but Kent held my hand... keeping me in place. "At least let me look away.." Sabi ko. Umiling sya at hinawakan pa mula sa likod ang ulo ko para hindi ko ma-divert ang tingin ko. Sa katititig ko sa kanila... hindi ko na napigilang umiyak... "It will be okay.." I heard Kent say. Then he kissed the top of my head. I cried... until all I see in front of me is a blurring image of a guy and a girl happily having coffee. -- As I've said... hindi fair ang partition... haha.. ganan lang talaga yan kaikli...*******************************************[6] O******************************************* Overhaul your future. "Lahat ng iisipin mo in the future, lahat ng plano mong gawin with him.. imagine it with someone else..." "Why?" Hindi ko maimagine. Kapag wala si ex sa future ko... nagiging blur lahat. Halo-halo na. Walang malinaw... "Basta... everything you have to dream about... dream it with me." "Why?" "Because." So I tried. I imagined him walking with me on the streets of Rome. I imagined him marrying me and having kids. I imagined us getting older.. Pero sa tuwing naiimagine ko yun.. sumisingit si ex... -- *******************************************[7] V******************************************* Value your existence. "Where are we going?" "Wherever you want to go. San mo ba gusto?" "I don't know.." Nung kami pa ni ex, laging sya ang pumipili ng lugar na pupuntahan namin. Dakilang tagasunod lang ako. Kaya ngayon.. hindi ako makapag-decide for myself... He sighed. "What do you want to do?" "I don't know." As I've said.. tagasunod lang ako sa gusto ni ex. Tsk.. antanga ko pala... "Wala talaga at the moment?" "Bungee jumping?" I blurted out. Napatawa sya. "What?" I pressed my lips together. "Sa yun ang naisip ko eh. Okay lang naman kung hindi natin gawin." He stood up. Nakaupo kase kami nun sa sala ko. As usual, feeling at home sya. "Let's go?" He offered me his hand. Aba talagang gagawin namin? -- We were at this bridge kasama yung isang grupo ng mga jumpers. Fully-equipped sila. They were about to finish preparing me for my jump when I chanced to take a glimpse on the river below. Sobrang taas ng posisyon namin.. Natakot ako. "Mira okay ka lang?" worried na tanong ni Kent. Umiling ako at hinawakan ko yung braso nya. "Kung tatalon ako, tatalon ka rin." Sabi ko sa kanya. He didn't complain. Nagpalagay na lang sya nung mga safety things na nilagay nila sa 'kin kanina. Tapos yumakap sya sa 'kin. Yumakap din ako sa kanya. We were pushed sideways and then... We were falling. -- I'm screaming all the way down. "STOP SCREAMING!" He yelled. I screamed some more. Kaya ang ginawa nya.. hinalikan nya 'ko. And then I felt the rush of the water in my head. Napatubog na pala yung mga ulo namin sa ilog. Tapos naramdaman kong ni-release nila yung tali. Dali-dali kong hinablot si Kent kase hindi ako marunong lumangoy. He found me and tried to keep my head above the water. Nakangiti sya. "Ano'ng feeling?" He asked. "Masaya." For the first time since ex... feeling ko talaga masaya ako. Maybe it was the thrill. Maybe it was the water. Maybe it was the jump... or maybe it was him. I don't know.. but for some reason.. I AM HAPPY. -- "Mira? Are you okay?" "Bakit mo kami tinawagan?" Both Ree and Denise have frowning faces when they saw me waiting in a restaurant. Hindi kase nangyayare ito eh. Na ako ang tumatawag. Palaging sila. Sila yung nag-eeffort to get in touch with me. Palagi. I hugged them both. "I missed you guys!" "Mira are you okay?" Pag-uulit na tanong ni Ree. I released them both and smiled. "I'm okay." "Ano'ng meron?" "Wala lang." Pinaupo ko sila at umorder na kami ng pagkain. "Iiwan ko lang yung last will and testament ko." I teased. They both glared at me. "Joke lang!" "You're not funny." I sighed. "I just wanna... thank YOU guys for sticking with me through all the bad times in my life. And sorry for taking you for granted. Lalo na nung kami pa ni Brent. Kahit nakakalimutan ko na kayo, you didn't treat me like a stranger. I'm really lucky I have you both.." They both went "Awwwww..." "So.. I just want you to know that I appreciate you very much." They both get up and gave me a hug. Tapos nagkaiyakan pa kami bago dumating yung order namin. Syempre libre ko. Haha.. first time ko ata silang ilibre.. Pero nakahinga na 'ko ng maluwag. Kase nasabi ko na yun sa kanila. Ayoko kaseng mawala na yung chance eh. And I'm truly grateful for them.. kung wala sila baka... ewan. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako mapupunta kung wala silang dalawa.. --*******************************************[8] E******************************************* Erase his existence in your life. Nandito na naman si Kent sa condo ko. Ano'ng ginagawa nya? Nililimas ang buong bahay ko with ex's things. Lahat ng ituro kong bagay na kay Brent or palaging hinahawakan ni Brent o galing sa kanya... nilalagay ni Kent sa isang malaking trash bag. "Wala na?" He asked. I looked around the unit. Oo nga. Wala na. Halos wala ng natira! Lahat ng pictures namin ni ex, yung mga naiwan nyang damit, yung mug nya, toothbrush, socks and eveything... ready to be thrown na. Mabuti na nga lang hindi kasya yung couch dun sa trash bag eh... "Wala na." Sabi ko. Pati bed sheets itinapon nya. Ibibili na lang daw nya 'ko ng bago... Lumapit sya sa 'kin tapos itinaas yung kamay ko. "Eh ano 'to?" I saw what he's looking at. The promise ring ex gave me. Binawi ko agad ang kamay ko. "Wag na 'to." Sabi ko. He heaved a sigh. "It's from him, isn't it?" Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. "Give me that." Lumayo ako. Nagpaikot-ikot pa kami sa unit. Hanggang sa ma-corner nya 'ko at biglaang hinablot yung singsing. Muntik pang madala yung kamay ko! Tapos itinapon nya yun sa bintana. Wala na.. Wala na yung promise ni ex.. Haaay.. --*******************************************[9] O******************************************* Open you heart to somebody else. "Open naman ang heart ko for everybody else eh..." Reklamo ko sa kanya. He sighed. "Totoo ba? O yang ex mo pa rin ang may pinakamalaking chunk ng puso mo?" "Eh normal naman yun.." "Ilang buwan ka na bang ganyan ha? Don't you think it's time na to move on?" "It's easy for you to say... hindi mo pa kase nararanasan 'tong nararanasan ko ngayon eh.." He slumped back on the couch. Naupo ako sa tabi nya. Then he spoke.. "Two years ago.. I was left at the altar.." He said. Napatingin ako sa kanya. Seryosong-seryoso sya. And when he spoke again.. he was on the very edge of crying... "She was my everything.. so when she left, I was left with nothing... I tried to kill myself after apologizing to everyone who went to the church. First I jumped off a bridge. Pero tubig lang yung binagsakan ko. Hindi pa nga ako nalunod eh. Second, I overdosed myself with sleeping pills. Hindi rin effective. Nabilaukan lang ako. Then I decided to hang myself... but the funny thing is.. when the rope was finally choking my neck and I was about to kick the chair off... saka naman ako natakot mamatay." It was like seeing him for the first time... I don't know what has gotten into me but I found myself wanting to hug him. Kaya niyakap ko sya... He put his arm on my shoulder and pulled me closer. "I'm sorry Kent. I didn't know.." "It's okay. Naka-move on na 'ko..." Tumingin ako sa kanya. "How did you do it?" Ako sa sarili ko, alam kong hirap na hirap ako. Sa lahat ng bagay na ginagawa ko... naaalala ko si ex. I thought I've had it worse. Dahil nagli-live in na kami ni ex pero... mas masakit pala yung sa kanya. He was about to get married when... she decided to just leave him. Aray... parang mas hindi ko kaya yun. He shrugged. "Ewan ko kung pano. Basta inom lang ako ng inom noon, sleeping with any gorgeous girl I came across with.. wasting my money.. wasting my life... hanggang sa magsawa na rin ako. Nakakasawa eh." Tama.. nakakasawa nga. "Iniisip ko noon kung ano ba'ng mali sa 'kin. Bakit nya 'ko iniwan? Pero narealize ko din na... baka naman sya ang may mali... baka hindi lang talaga sya para sa 'kin. Maybe I deserved someone better.." He looked at me. For some reason, I found myself growing warmer towards him. Ewan ko.. baka kase nakakarelate ako sa kanya? "Nakikita mo pa rin ba ang ex mo?" Tanong ko sa kanya. "I did see her.. nung ikakasal na sya." "Waaah? Ano'ng ginawa mo?" He shrugged. "Nothing. I just sat there sa pinakang-dulo and watched her get married to some guy. Nanghihinayang ako syempre.. but that's that. When I let go of all the bitterness I feel inside... naging magaan ng tanggapin lahat. That night, umalis ako ng reception to celebrate on my own. Finally, sabi ko sa sarili ko, I truly have moved on. That's the night when I saw you." Ah.. kaya pala bihis na bihis sya nun? "So ano'ng kelangan kong gawin ngayon?" He smiled. "Entertain suitors." "San naman ako hahanap ng suitor? Rarampa ako sa mall ganun?" Tinapik nya ang noo ko. "Baliw. Hindi pa ba 'ko qualified?" Napamaang ako sa kanya. "Manliligaw ka?" He rolled his eyes. "Ang slow mo. Tingin mo ba gagawin ko lahat ng 'to kung hindi ako interested sa 'yo?" "Sorry naman. Akala ko kase matulungin ka lang talaga.." nakangiti kong sabi. "Matulungin talaga ako. But I don't go to this extent sa taong hindi ko naman gusto." Sabi nya. Then he kissed my forehead. "Open your heart to me Mira. Panahon na para sipain mo palabas sa puso mo yang ex mo." *******************************************[10] N******************************************* "What's next?" I asked him a few days later. Tinotoo nga nya. Nanliligaw sya. Adik eh. Kung makaasta naman parang sinagot ko na sya.. Tsk tsk. Pinakilala ko rin sya kina Ree at Denise. Nakakatuwa nga sya eh. Hindi sya tulad ni ex na gusto laging kaming dalawa lang. Sya pinipilit pa nyang sumama sina Ree sa mga lakad namin. Kaya naman tuwang-tuwa yung dalawa sa kanya kase tanggap nya yung mga kaibigan ko tapos tanggap din sya nila... "New boyfriend." He said with a smile. "Weh? Patingin nga?" Inagaw ko yung list nya. KENT'S 6 WAYS OF MOVING ON:M- Make your heart accept defeat.O- Overhaul your future.V- Verify your existence.E- Erase his existence in your life. O- Open you heart to somebody else.N- (New Life) New BOYFRIEND Ang adik. Pinaltan lang? Haha... Tumingin ako sa kanya na kunwari eh inis ako. Pero ngiting-ngiti lang syang parang bata na nagpapakita ng good grades sa mommy nya. Nakakatuwa syang tingnan... "So.. para ma-complete mo yung list... sagutin mo na 'ko." He said while grinning from ear to ear. "Tse! Inuuto mo na 'ko nan eh!" Natatawa kong sabi. Magsasalita na sana sya ng biglang tumunog yung telephone. Since malapit sya, sya na ang sumagot.. "Hello?" He listened intently. Tapos nag-iba yung expression ng mukha nya. He looked at me with his blank expression saka iniabot sa 'kin yung phone. "For you..." "Sino daw?" He shrugged saka lumayo. "Hello?" "Hello Mira?" "B-Brent?" I heard him sigh on the other line. Habang padabog naman na naupo si Kent sa couch. I looked at him and he wasn't very happy. "Akala ko nakalimutan mo na 'ko.." I'm starting to actually... "Bakit ka tumawag?" "Pwede ka bang makausap?" "Nag-uusap na tayo." I said, rather coldly. He chuckled. "I mean, in person? Sheila broke up with me...I want to talk to someone and I thought it best be you so.. please? I need you Mira..." Napalunok ako. "O-Okay." "Thanks! Be there at Starbucks after 30 minutes okay? Bye." He hung up. Huh... ganun lang yun? Ibinaba ko na yung phone at nilapitan ko si Kent. Umirap sya nung naupo ako sa tabi nya. "Brent wants to talk to me." I said. Saka lang sya tumingin sa 'kin. Inis lang yung nababasa ko sa mukha nya. "Don't tell me na pupunta ka?" Tumango ako. He slapped his thigh angrily saka tumingin sa bintana. "You're being stupid again." Sabi nya. "Don't hate me please..." Hinawakan ko yung braso nya. Pero pinalis nya yung kamay ko tapos bigla syang tumayo. He sighed. "I guess you won't need me anymore." "Teka Kent-" "Uuwi na 'ko. Good luck with your ex." Pagkasabi nya'y pabalibag nyang isinara yung pinto. --*******************************************[11] Step One Backwards******************************************* 5 minutes before my meeting with ex.. tinawagan ko si Kent. I don't know... kahit hindi naman kami.. I still feel guilty about the whole thing. Feeling ko pinapaasa ko sya. At the same time, hindi ko alam kung bakit nagalit sya sa 'kin. Makikipag-usap lang naman ako kay ex eh... Pero naka-off ang phone ni Kent. Tumawag din ako sa landline nya pero sabi nung maid hindi pa daw sya umuuwi.. Haaay... -- Sa Starbucks, nakita kong naglalaptop si ex. Naka-reading glasses sya at mukhang tutok na tutok sa netbook nya. Huminga muna ako ng malalim then I debated with myself if this is the right thing to do. My stupid self insisted that this would make me happy. I guess there's no sense of right and wrong left in me anymore... Basta masaya ako. Okay na yun sa 'kin.. Nilapitan ko sya. "Brent?" He looked up... and smiled. Namiss ko 'yang ngiti mo, gusto ko sanang sabihin kaso pinigilan ko ang sarili ko. Tiniklop nya yung laptop nya saka sya tumayo. Medyo nagulat ako ng hinawakan nya yung tigkabila kong balikat tapos hinila nya 'ko palapit at hinalikan yung pisngi ko. "Akala ko hindi ka darating eh." Ipinaghila nya 'ko ng upuan saka ako pinaupo. "Ano'ng pag-uusapan natin?" Hinawakan nya yung kamay ko. "Mira pwede bang tayo ulet?" "H-Ha?" Hanep.. direct to the point? Di man lang nya pinaligoy-ligoy.. Eto na yung matagal ko ng inaantay.. Finally! You're being stupid again, his voice seemed to echo in my mind. Am I being stupid again? Pero eto naman yung gusto kong mangyare di ba? "Mahal mo pa naman ako di ba?" Oo naman. Di ba? Kaya nga mas pinili kong pumunta dito at kausapin sya eh. Mas pinili ko sya kesa kay Kent kase mahal ko pa rin sya hanggang ngayon... hindi pa rin talaga ako nakakamove-on... I nodded. He smiled and kissed my hand. -- Kent calling... I blinked. Brent caling.. Namali lang pala ako ng basa. Naalimpungatan kase ako at may tumatawag. Nakapikit ako when I picked up my phone from under my pillow. Akala ko naman si Kent na ang tumatawag... Isang buwan na rin pala mula nung huli kaming magkita. Haay.. I sort of miss him. "Hello?" "Hey.. nagising ba kita? Sorry..." "No.. gising pa 'ko." Pagsisinungaling ko. "Ah.. tamang-tama. Papunta 'ko dyan ah..." "Ha? Bakit?" I glanced at the clock. 12:45 a.m. "Nagugutom kase ako weh. I brought some food... nood tayong movie?" "Okay." "Okay. I'll see you later. Bye. Love you." "Bye.." I hung up, saka sumubsob ulet sa unan ko. Hmmm... I'm still very very sleepy... Dati kase sapilitan akong pinapatulog ng maaga ni Kent eh. Hindi daw kase maganda sa kalusugan ko yung masyadong nagpupuyat. Tama rin naman sya eh. Low blood kase ako. Haaay... pero kelangan ng bumangon. -_- -- Burger. Burger ang dala ni ex-este.. bf. "Walang Chinese?" Tanong ko. He looked at me, amused and surprised. "Chinese? Kelan ka pa nahilig sa Chinese?" Natatawa nyang tanong. Oo nga pala... burger usually ang kinakain namin tuwing gabi. Minsan pizza, misan naman junk food lang. Eh kelan ba kase ako nahilig sa Chinese takeouts? "Ah.. nevermind. Tara nuod na tayo?" -- Pero hindi rin kami nakanuod. Bakit? Remember.. itinapon ni Kent lahat ng bagay na kay Brent? Eh lahat ng movies na yun kay Brent eh. Pili nya at bili na. Nagtataka nga si Brent kung bakit wala na yung mga gamit nya dun eh. So we ended up eating na lang tapos konting kulitan bago ako tuluyang nakatulog sa lap nya. Hindi ko kase kaya ang antok eh. --*******************************************[12] Queen of the Stupids******************************************* Two months... Two months na 'kong walang balita kay Kent. I've been trying to call him pero palaging unattended. Parang nasaktan ako. Nawalan ako ng isang importanteng tao sa buhay ko... Mali pala. Tatlo sila. Sina Ree at Denise umiiwas na rin sa 'kin mula nung maging kami ni ex-este-bf. Palagi kase akong kasama ni Brent eh. Wala na akong time kina Ree. Kagaya ulet ng dati. Pahirapan na naman kaseng makahanap ng time para sa kanila. Demanding kase si Brent. Gusto sa kanya lagi ang attention ko. Haaay... minsan nga nakakapagod na eh. Ewan ko ba... Parang.. unti-unti akong nagsasawa. -- Starbucks na naman? Kape na nga ata ang dumadaloy sa katawan ko eh. Haaay.. "Can't we go somewhere else?" Napakunot ang noo nya. Kakapasok lang kami ng Starbucks nun. As in kakalampas lang ng pintuan. "May gusto ka bang puntahan?" Tanong nya. I shrugged. San ko ba gustong pumunta? "Sky diving?" That's what I thought at the moment. Tumaas ang kilay nya. "You're kidding, right?" Napasimangot ako. Kung si Kent yun for sure papayag yun agad. KJ kase 'tong si Brent eh. He sighed saka hinawakan yung kamay ko. "Tell you what? Let's go someplace else..." I'll pleasure you. O_O Kent! Alis ka nga sa utak ko! >_< "S-San?" He smiled. "Sa park." -- So ayun, bumalik kami sa kotse nya na nasa parking lot. Ipinagbukas naman nya 'ko ng pinto pero pagkaupo ko hindi ko ginagalaw yung seatbelt. Inaantay kong sya ang mag-buckle. "Oh? Mag-seatbelt ka na." Sabi nya. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako at inilagay mag-isa ang seatbelt. -- Third month. Naghahallucinate na 'ko. Palagi ko syang napapagkamalan na si Kent. Tapos nabibingi pa 'ko kase kapag may kakilala sya na tumatawag sa pangalan nya.. pakirinig ko lagi-KENT. Hindi na nga ata ordinaryong pagka-miss 'to weh. Parang iba na. Gusto ko na ata si Kent. -- Three and a half months ng maramdaman kong hindi ko na talaga kaya. Hindi ko na kayang mag-pretend... Sa lahat ng ginagawa, si Kent lang ang pumapasok sa isip ko. Even when Brent and I kiss, si Kent ang naiimagine kong humahalik sa 'kin. At habang pinipilit kong mahalin ulet si Brent, mas lalo akong nahihirapan... -- "Brent..." "Hmm?" "May sasabihin ako." Kakatapos lang nyang mag-toothbrush. Opo. Dito na naman sya nakatira sa condo ko. Haay... minsan nga feeling ko naso-suffocate na 'ko sa presensya nya eh. Minsan, pagmulat ng mata ko, mas gusto kong wala akong nagigisnang katabi kesa sya ang nakikita ko sa umaga. Weird noh? Kaya gabi-gabi iniimagine ko na lang na si Kent ang nakayakap sa 'kin at si Kent ang nagigisnan kong nakangiti pag-gising ko sa umaga. Kaso medyo lumalabo na rin yung memorya ko sa kanya.. Lapit na kaseng mag-four months eh... Ni ha, ni ho... wala man lang akong naririnig mula sa kanya. "Pwede bang mamaya na? Malilate na kase ako weh." "This can't wait Brent." Tumingin sya sa 'kin na kunot ang noo. Tapos sumandal sya sa pintuan ng bathroom at pinag-cross yung mga braso nya. "Okay. Ano ba yun?" "You need to move out..." Nagulat sya. "HA?" Napalunok ako. "I-I said.. you need to move out." Napairap sya tapos bumalik ulet ang tingin sa 'kin. "Why? Ayaw mo na ba 'kong kasama? Hindi ka na sanay na nandito ako?" Umiling ako. "Okay. If that's what you want..." "That's not what I want." He gave out an exasperated sigh. Yun yung buntong-hininga nya na nagsasabing nagsasawa na sya sa pakikipagtalo sa 'kin. "Eh ano ba?" Iritado nyang tanong. "I want you out of my life Brent." --*******************************************[13] Stuck. LAG. Hang ako.******************************************* Brent moved out. Nag-away pa kami. Nagsira pa sya ng gamit. Parang nung una lang. But this time, baliktad na. Ako na yung umayaw... Hindi matanggap ng ego nya na ako ang nakipag-break sa kanya. Pero hindi ko hinayaan ang sarili ko na maawa sa kanya at bawiin yung sinabi ko. Hindi rin ako umiyak. I guess I was relieved to let him go... finally. -- Pero si Kent? Wala pa rin akong balita. Nga pala.. friends na ulet kami nina Ree. Mas naging close pa nga kaming tatlo nung nawala si Brent sa buhay ko eh. Parang sya lang yung panggulo sa buhay ko.. ngayon ko lang narealize. Ang tanga ko pala talaga... Ngayon nga pala, gagala daw kaming tatlo. Halos araw-araw na nga kaming gumagala eh. Intayan daw dito sa park sa may fountain. Kanina pa nga ako dito weh.. ang tagal naman nila.. "Hey.. wanna dance?" I heard a familiar voice say. May shadow na humarang sa 'kin mula sa sikat ng araw. At may kamay din na nakalahad.. I looked up. He has perfect teeth and lips that girls would be dying to kiss. Eyes that you could drown into. Face that you would love to see every morning beside you. And smile that would truly melt your heart. My vision became a blur... and I realized that it's just my tears that are causing that effect. Umiiyak na pala ako... He pulled me up into his arms in a tight embrace. I missed this... His arms. His warm hug. His smell. His heartbeat. Namiss ko yung taong tumulong sa 'king makausad. Namiss ko yung taong nagmahal sa 'kin ng walang hinihinging ano mang kapalit. "Namiss kita..." I said in a croaky voice. Talagang umiiyak na naman ako... He kissed the top of my head. "Miss na miss na miss na rin kita..." Sabi nya. My heart beated faster... almost to the point na parang sasabog na sya sa sobrang saya. "Bakit ngayon ka lang nagpakita?" I asked in a muffled tone. Nakasubsob kase ako sa dibdib nya. "Ngayon ka lang kase natauhan eh.." Natatawa nyang sabi. I looked up to his smiling face. "Adik ka." "Mas adik ka. Binalikan mo pa talaga sya eh..." I pouted. "Ikaw kase!" He kissed me. "May sinasabi ka?" Nakangiti nyang tanong. Napangiti ako. "Wala.. sabi ko isa pa." He obliged and kissed me again... Haaay... I feel like I'm floating on air... Naputol lang ang pangangarap ko ng biglang tumunog ang phone ko. Wala palang Kent na dumating. Taeng yan... nananaginip na 'ko ng gising.. Haaay.. "Hello?" "Mira? San ka?" Nagpahid ako ng luha. "Nandito sa may fountain. Ikaw?" "Malapit na. Nadyan na ba si Ree?" "Wala pa eh-wait." Tiningnan ko yung phone ko. May incoming call. Si Ree naman. "Tumatawag si Ree. Wait. Sagutin ko lang." Ini-on-hold ko si Denise. Saka ko sinagot yung tawag ni Ree. "Hello Ree? Asan ka na?" "Nandito na. San ka?" "Sa may fountain." Tamo 'tong mga 'to. Usapan namin di alam? "Ah.. sige kita na kita. Bye." Pinatay ko na yung phone ko. I sighed. Akala ko talaga totoo na yung kanina.. Sayang... "Mira!" Nakangiting bati ni Ree. I smiled a little. Saka tumayo para yakapin sya. "Kanina ka pa?" Tanong nya. I rolled my eyes. "Aba oo. As usual late na naman kayo. Haynaku.." "Bumabawi lang kami noh! Dati nga nung inaaya ka namin, hindi ka sumasama eh..." "Sus. Nanisi pa!" "Mira! Ree!" "Denise!" Nag-group hug kaming tatlo. Sweet namin noh? Hehe.. parang hindi madalas magkita eh. "Umiyak ka ba?" Kunot-noong tanong ni Ree habang ini-examine ang mukha ko. "Huh? Oo nga noh.." Sabi naman ni Denise na para bang saka lang napansin yung mukha ko. Umiling ako. "Weh.. eh ba't ang pula ng mata mo?" "Napuwing ako." Pagdadahilan ko. Mahangin naman eh. Understood na kung mapuwing. Kaso hindi naman talaga ako napuwing eh. Nagising lang ako sa isang magandang panaginip. "Si Brent na naman ba?" Concerned na tanong ni Denise. "Nanghihinayang ka na naman at nakipag-break ka?" Umiling ako. Hindi si Brent... "Eh sino?" Ree asked. Tinaasan ko sila ng kilay. "Ba't ba ayaw nyong maniwalang napuwing ako?" "Sus.. isa lang namang tao ang iniiyakan mo eh." Isa lang ba talaga? Aba bago 'to ah... isa nga lang tao ang iniyakan ko pero ibang tao na. Hindi na si Brent, si Kent na. Kakayanin pa kaya ng puso kong magmove on na naman? Parang kaka-repair pa lang, nasira na naman... haay.. durog na ata eh.. -_- "Mira?" "H-Ha?" Dumadami na ang worry lines ng mga kaibigan ko dahil sa 'kin. Haay... "Are you okay?" "Yeah... sa'n tayo?" "Sure ka?" "Oo nga. Ano ba naman kayo? Tara na!" Umuna na 'kong maglakad. Asar kase.. umaalpas na naman yung mga luha ko... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------*******************************************[14] Moving On?******************************************* MOVING ON? If you would ask me how... I have no idea. May isang taong nagsabi sa 'kin na kailangan mong pakawalan lahat ng bitterness sa puso mo towards that person para mas madaling bumitaw... Pero minsan kailangan mo ring humanap ng taong tutulong sa 'yo para mapalitan ng saya ang pait sa puso mo. Ang swerte ko at nakatagpo ako ng mga taong tumulong sa 'kin. Kaso.... Nakamove-on nga ako... Ngayon naman.. mukhang na-stuck na naman ulet ako. Kay Kent. Six months, 2 weeks and 4 days na since the last time that I saw him. Akala ko mas madali ko syang makakalimutan kase maikling panahon ko lang sya nakasama tapos nawala rin sya agad. Pero wala pala sa tagal yun. Wala sa dalas na magkasama kayo. Basta maramdaman mo yung love na sinasabi nila... kahit pa wala na sya sa buhay mo... mahirap pa rin syang makalimutan. Nasa 'kin pa nga yung number nya eh. I still order Chinese takeouts. Hindi ako nagkakape sa Starbucks. Maaga na rin akong matulog. And I do things without even thinking... Nasa akin pa rin yung lista nya ng ways to move on pero hindi ko ginagawa. Ayaw ko syang kalimutan. Ayaw kong magmove on sa kanya. Kung mangyayare man yun... I'll let it happen naturally. Ayokong pwersahin ang sarili ko. Nakaya ko nung una kase nandyan sya para tumulong pero ngayon.. wala ng tutulong sa 'kin para kalimutan sya.. Six months.. Six months na Kent... I dialled his old number. Wala lang... paminsan-minsan tinatry ko pa rin syang tawagan.. malay ko ba kung may sumagot... kahit parang ang labo na nung mangyare... O_O It's ringing... My palm became sweaty at biglang lumakas yung tibok ng puso ko. Ramdam ko yung kaba. I almost wished nga na sana hindi na lang nag-ring eh. Sana narinig ko na lang yung same old unattended message na palagi kong naririnig.. After the third ring... "Hello?" Boses ng babae. "Hello? Who's this?" Araaay.... Tinakpan ko yung bibig ko to baffle the sound of my cry. I guess nauna na syang maka-move on. Sino kaya yun? An occassional fling? O yung babaeng talagang kapalit ko na? "Hello! Sino ba 'to?" Pinutol ko na yung tawag. This is the end. It's over... I guess I really need to move on.. again... It hurts when you realize that you love that person after he has gone. Tama.. what hurts more is not having the chance to make things right. I guess I'll be forever stuck here. Lilipas din ang panahon at alam kong mawawala rin 'tong sakit na nararamdaman ko.. SANA.*******************************************[15] Epilogue*******************************************Oh di ba epilogue na? Bilis nuh? ^^ ***************************************************************************************************** "Kuya, may tumawag kanina sa old number mo." Napatingin ako sa kapatid ko. Nandito na naman sya sa bahay ko. Tsk. Kaya pala ang kalat eh.. "Nakialam ka na naman ng gamit ko? How many times do I have to tell you na off-limits ang mga gamit ko ha?" She pouted saka kumawit sa braso ko. "Pakalat-kalat lang kaya yung sim mo! Iniinsert ko lang nga kanina eh. Bakit ba hindi mo pa itapon yun?" Bakit nga ba Kent? "Sino daw yung tumawag?" Sya kaya? My sister shrugged. "Ewan. Hindi nagsasalita eh. Pinagbabaan pa nga ako ng phone! Baka naman ex mo?" "Hmm.. ewan." Sino naman kaya sa mga ex ko ang tatawag sa 'kin? Sa dami ng ex-flings ko, hindi ko na alam. -_- "Kuya order tayo ng pizza!" "Ayoko. Gusto ko ng noodles." "Amp ka. Nagmumukha ka ng Chinese kaka-noodles eh!" "Pampahaba ng buhay yun." "Tsk. Fine. Mag-Chinese ka. Basta i-order mo 'ko ng pizza ha? Ha? Ha? Ha?" "Tss. Oo na. Kulet." She finally smiled at me then tiptoed to kiss me on the cheek. "Thanks! Kaya mahal kita eh..." After saying that, she ran off somewhere. Huh... buti pa ang kapatid ko mahal ako. Haaay... Six months ago.. I did the craziest thing.. I let the girl I love go for no sane reason. Pinakawalan ko sya and I let her crawl back to her ex kahit alam ko na masasaktan lang kami pareho... I didn't even fight for her. That was the biggest mistake I ever made. I just wish na merong paraan para maitama ko yung mali na yun. **************************************************************************************************** Ayan! Thanks sa pagbasa! ^^ Umaga na pala. Whaha.. Sequel or not? Hmmm... What'cha think?************************************************STORY END**************************************************************************************