7 Ways to Find Your VoiceFinding the right editor, without sacrificing your story– or your dignity!

Scenario: “The Catalyst” Me: “It’s a really personal essay about my life that I've been hesitant to share, but if you

could help that would be great!” Him: “Yes! I’d love to read it. I’m sure I can give you some great feedback.” (Weeks pass, I open my email) Him: “I really don’t like this. Your experiences are not relatable for me. I expected more out of

you, you’re such a cheerful girl, why write such a dark story?” Me: (I start to sweat, and my hand clinches into a fist …) There I sat, having worked for a year on this essay, pouring my heart on to the page. I spent

early mornings and skipped dates to feverishly scribble down all the details. And all I get for my efforts is: “I really don’t like this”?! Then the “it’s not relatable”, and the equivalent of “come on, smile for me”? Surely readers don’t need to go through the same experience in order to understand it. I mean, does a person have to know a real life wizard to be able to enjoy Harry Potter?

This stuck with me for the next six months; I came down with a serious case of writers block. During which time I cried frequently, blocked my “editor” from my address book, and stashed my essay in a dark corner. Dramatic, I know. It was enough though, that I stopped asking for help, and I didn't write anymore “dark stories.” I had NO idea how to get where I wanted to go with my writing. Though even I could tell that the format sucked, and it needed TONS of work.

I’m here to say that, despite this encounter, I wouldn't trade it for the world. In fact, it’s one of the better lessons I've had.

My first draft of that essay did royally stink, but here is what I learned from this experience.

#1. Don’t Ignore Inspiration Inspiration can strike at any moment, and it's so important that you

always take time to acknowledge it. While working as a waitress, sentences would pop into my head all the time—usually right in the middle of making someone a latte. I would have to hold that thought, and rush for a scrap of paper, scribbling it down quickly before I forgot. At the end of one summer I had millions of scraps of paper in a drawer at home. I used them later to craft a the above mentioned story, and it ended up getting me into college. Today, the notepad feature on my iPhone (with its talk to text option) has been a real lifesaver for ideas as they pop in my head. It's always important to grab a good sentence or idea when it strikes you, because thinking “I’ll remember this later” doesn't work out like you think it will. Also, it’s important hang on to that inspiration for the moment you hit a rough patch (see above). Those sentences will help push through it, shaking off any doubts about where your story originated. It originates inside of you! Don’t knock that. The sentences that pop into your head are special and unique, so embrace them.

#2. Get Your Priorities Straight List your priorities in your initial outline, and know the story

that you want to tell. This doesn't need to be a formal outline, just put your most important points in one place so you don’t forget them. Even though you may not know how you're going to tell the story, you should have an idea of what you'd like to convey to others and be able to explain why that concept is important. Realize that others do want to hear your story, but only if it's told in a way that they can understand your motives. In my scenario, if I had been able to back up the priorities of the story I was trying to tell, there would have probably been less berating and more conversing on how to better convey those points. Begin by outlining the most important points to hit before you start writing, so if you take any tangents along the way you can regroup as necessary.

#3. May the size of your library be larger than the size of your TV Reading books put me in such a trance as a child, I felt like I could

never compete with the high standards of writing. And to be honest, as an adult sometimes it doesn't feel much different. It’s such a puzzle to figure out how to tell our own story. We often become obsessed with the process and all the roadblocks that pop up along the way. As in my situation, I was so consumed with just telling my story; I didn't stop and look around at any other formats. I just assumed that my editor could provide me with it all: inspiration, format and direction. That is too much to expect from any one person, even an editor. At some point in the process, we all start to get tunnel vision, and become frustrated when we don’t get to the light at the end of that tunnel as quickly as we’d like to. We often forget to return to the things that started it all and lit the spark of desire for our careers as writers. Watching our favorite authors tell magnificent stories can often prompt our mind to start thinking in ways it wasn't before. It's also useful just to read another story beside your own, because just stepping into another world for a moment can do wonders for your creativity.

#4. Have a Reliable Process Going through school I was told repeatedly, ad nauseam, that a writer should

write every day, for a set amount of time and length. I’ll be honest, in my life that’s just not a realistic goal for me. I've never been a person to prefer just one medium, one writing desk, or even one time of day. My life happens to be a constant travel routine, different cities, states, and settings. I've needed to adapt, and so will you. Your job is to recognize what works well for you and what facilitates your best writing. Also recognize that writing inspiration can present itself organically or inorganically, no matter where you’re sitting. For a long time, I kept trying to fit facts together in my essay to make it a story, I would write down every tedious detail and piece it together. It was writing, sure, but was it really my best writing? No! I was just hoping that someone would see promise in those blocks of facts and help me transform it into delightful and witty prose. This didn't happen to me, and it certainly won’t happen to you. No one is going to show up with a magic wand to wave over your work and make it all better. It is up to you to learn from your mistakes and be honest with yourself about your own writing, before you even ask someone else for their opinion. This is also evidenced in those times you force your writing, knowing it’s not the best material. Sometimes it happens to be best to get the raw points of interest on the page and just walk away from it.

#5. Know when to give it a rest Forcing yourself to write when you know that there's nothing left to say

(at that moment), is definitely a bad idea. Recognize that instance for what it is, and give yourself the permission to step away from the mac book pro, my friend. If you are trying to find the perfect way to describe something in your story, allow yourself to find the perfect phrase with a little bit of time and inspiration. Take a walk, play with the dog, or sit out in nature. Or as Lena Dunham so eloquently recommends, “watch a police procedural, they will always solve the case and so will you.” Best advice I've ever gotten! Keep in mind that the reason it takes authors so long to write books is not because they enjoy spending years writing the same book, but because the process to produce quality takes time. The process of writing is just like anything else in life; we learn and study, only to come to different revelations at different points in time. I read somewhere that it takes six moths to make a Rolls Royce, but only thirteen hours to make a Toyota Corolla. Think of your work as the Rolls Royce, and give yourself time to turn out your best product. The sooner you accept this part of the process, the happier you will be.

#6. Ignore the haters, Accept the advice Know thyself my friend. Sometimes when you present your work to an editor their response

can be less than the elated squeal of joy you perhaps envisioned. It is their job to point out the glaring typos, the nonsensical rhetoric, and the items that will detract your reader from the quality of your work. Remember why you started, and what your priorities are in the story, especially in this review process. It is important to listen to the advice or critique you are receiving and evaluate the validity of their claim. Did you already know that your ending paragraph needs work? Did you know that your character descriptions could use a lot of revision? Chances are you already know what parts need work, and be sure to face those head on. However, if the feedback you receive is more along the lines of a reader who isn't in your target audience, recognize that you need to find a more specialized group of reviewers for your story. It was really hard for me to understand that not everyone wanted to read my story, and luckily I only ran into the one sour grape while in the early stages of my essay. Don’t let this phase you, because every author has a group of readers that would prefer not to read their work. This is part of life: not everyone will like you all of the time. The sooner you make peace with that the better your editing process will go. I had to learn to not to take divergent opinions personally, and recognize them for what they are, just someone’s opinion. Even the best editor is going to point out some items that you won’t be pleased to have to revisit and revise, but for the sake of the quality of your work, you should do your best to listen and determine if the advice is worth trying. You never know, that advice for a change could be the difference between your work being published, and your work being archived.

#7. Meet your match Always remember that an editor is there to help you clarify things and make sure

your message is clear to the rest of the world. Never be afraid to communicate when their style of commentary isn't working for you. I was too afraid to tell the sour grape that I thought he was wrong, because I doubted a lot of things about my writing. I had no confidence, and I was waiting for someone else to come along and give me some. This is a big mistake; you must always believe in yourself first. Never rely on someone else to do it for you. Be prepared to honestly and openly confront certain things about your writing and about yourself, that you may not have wanted to address previously. I was afraid to confront if I was telling the story well enough. At the time, my essay couldn't carry its own weight, and I needed to be willing to confront that in order to make it better. I also knew in my draft there was closer editing I could have done on my own, even though I had larger questions I needed help with. I ignored my gut and sent it over to the editor, who rightly demolished it. Then realized that, perhaps, I needed to find someone who wasn't a total asshole to edit my work. Make sure that the person providing the critique of your work will be constructive with their comments, especially in the delicate beginning stages of your process. Much like a great relationship, you want someone who is going to challenge you to be better because they want you to succeed.