a dignified life, revised and expandedthe best friends™ approach to alzheimer's care: a guide for...

8/12/2019 A Dignified Life, Revised and ExpandedThe Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer's Care: A Guide for Care Partners (Bell Excerpt)

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CAEXMEXS

Icdeawomh`bmets ................................................................................xv

Netrahuctnae ............................................................................................9

N IO[FMNBM\S HNSMISM IEH AXFM\ HMBMEXNI

9 Pfits Fippmene`1 Xfm Mxpmrnmecm ag

Iozfmnbmrs Hnsmism ieh Atfmr Hmbmetni.............................93

Omire ilaut cabbae mbatnaes ieh mxpmrnmecms ag pmrsaes

wntf hmbmetni ieh wfy tfm Lmst Grnmehs ippraicf sa

succmssguooy ihhrmssms tfmb.

< Pfit Ns Deawe1 Hnièasns, Xrmitbmet, ieh \msmircf........39

Gneh ieswmrs ta dmy qumstnaes ilaut Iozfmnbmrs hnsmism

ieh atfmr hmbmetni.

3 Pfit Eaw1 Stmps ta Xidm Igtmr i Hnièasns

ag Iozfmnbmrs Hnsmism ar Atfmr Hmbmetni...........................=3

Lm`ne bippne` aut yaur emxt stmps ieh tfm lmst wiys ta

ticdom tfmb igtmr i hnièasns ag ie nrrmvmrsnlom hmbmetni

fis lmme bihm.

xn

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3/21

xnn CAEXMEXS

NN XFM LMSX G\NMEHS IZZ\AICF

8 I Emw Stirt; Xfm Irt ag Grnmehsfnp........................................ 09

Hnscavmr faw tfm mombmets ag grnmehsfnp pravnhm i pawmrguo

emw wiy ta cirm gar ieh rmoitm ta i pmrsae wntf hmbmetni.

= Bmbary Bidne`; Faearne` i Zmrsaes Ongm Stary................>>

Caoomct tfm crntncio ne`rmhnmets gar crmitne` i oavne` ieh

caestructnvm pncturm ag tfm fnstary ieh netmrmsts ag yaur

oavmh aem, ieh tfme omire faw ta usm tfns negarbitnae ne

yaur mvmryhiy netmrictnaes.

7 Xfm Deicd; Lisnc Zrnecnpoms ag Hmbmetni Cirm...............93=

Hnscavmr tfm Mombmets ag Deicdtfm sdnoos tfit pivm tfm

wiy gar succmssguo cirm`nvne`ieh smm faw ta usm tfmb ta

fiehom cabbae sntuitnaes ieh pralombs tfit irnsm.

NNN XFM LMSX G\NMEHS IZZ\AICF NE ICXNAE

0 Caeemctne`; Cabbuencitne` wntf Deicd.......................9=>

]sm tfm Lmst Grnmehs pfnoasapfy ag cabbuencitnae ta

hmvmoap mggmctnvm emw taaos gar netmrictne` wntf yaur oavmh

aem ne mvmryhiy sntuitnaes.

6 Lmne` Xa`mtfmr; Biei`ne` ieh Wioune` Ictnvntnms.............900

Nbpravm tfm quionty ag sfirmh babmets ly bidne` surmictnvntnms irm bmmtne` tfm emmhs ag tfm pmrsae wntf hmbmetni.

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4/21

xnnnCAEXMEXS

> Neemr Zissi`m; Spnrntuio Kauremyne` ieh \mon`nae..............


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9

PFIXS FIZZMENE@1

Xfm Mxpmrnmecm ag Iozfmnbmrs Hnsmism

ieh Atfmr Hmbmetni

Pfit ns nt ondm ta fivm Iozfmnbmrs hnsmism ieh atfmr

hmbmetni1 Pfit wauoh nt lm ondm ta lm uesurm ag yaur

surrauehne`s, ta fivm hnggncuoty cabbuencitne`, ta eat

rmcaènzm i aecm-gibnonir gicm, ar ta lm ueilom ta ha tfne`s yau fivm

iowiys mekaymh1 Pfme yau uehmrstieh tfm waroh ag pmapom wntfhmbmetni, yau cie lm`ne ta uehmrstieh tfmnr mxpmrnmecms, hmvmoap

mbpitfy, ieh rmoitm lmttmr ta tfmnr sntuitnaes.

Xfm mxpmrnmecm ag Iozfmnbmrs hnsmism ieh atfmr hmbmetni cie

lm ondm tidne` i trnp ta i garmnè cauetry wfmrm yau haet spmid tfm

oieùi`m. Custabs irm hnggmrmet. Hmcnpfmrne` i rmstiuriet bmeu

pravms hnggncuot4 yau biy tfned yau irm arhmrne` saup ieh meh upwntf gnsf! Pfme piyne` i rmstiuriet lnoo wntf uegibnonir currmecy

yau bn`ft gmir tfit yau irm lmne` sfartcfie`mh, cfmitmh. Xisds sa

93

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98 I HN@ENGNMH ONGM

misy it fabm irm bikar cfioome`ms ne ie uegibnonir smttne` ieh cielm mxfiustne`. Xfm pmrsae wntf hmbmetni ns ne i garmn`e oieh ioo tfm

tnbm, is smme ne Nrmem Fae`s pastcirh.

Fmooa Grnmehs;

\urio Xinwie ns ousf ieh `rmme lut Nb stiyne` ne tfm eansycnty ag Xinpmn ne by `riehbatfmrs poicm wfa ns 6: ieh sfirp is

i eino. Aem tfne` tfit bn`ft netmrmst yau ns tfit wfme by Bab

gnrst cibm licd ta Xinwie igtmr i


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PFIXS FIZZMENE@1 9=

\mlmcci \nomy wis aem ag aur miroy tmicfmrs ilaut tfm mxpmrnmecmag hmbmetni. I eursm ieh mhucitar, \mlmcci wis hnièasmh wntf

Iozfmnbmrs hnsmism it i`m =>. Pfme sfm gnrst lmìe fivne` hnggncuoty

tmicfne`, sfm tfau`ft nt wis lmciusm tfm caursm caetmet wis emw.

Saae, sfm demw sabmtfne` wis wrae` wntf fmr tfnedne` ieh bmb-

ary, ieh sfm suspmctmh tfit sfm bn`ft fivm Iozfmnbmrs hnsmism. Fmr

pfysncnie oitmr caegnrbmh fmr suspncnaes. \mlmcci tiu`ft us ilauttfm waroh ag hmbmetni. Gaooawne` irm sabm ag fmr wrnttme eatms

hmscrnlne` fmr mxpmrnmecm;

Hmprmssnae

Ciet siy wfit N wiet

Igrinh N ciet mxprmss by tfau`fts ieh warhstfus N rmbine

snomet ieh lmcabm hmprmssmh

N emmh caevmrsitnae ta lm soawoy

Nt ns hnggncuot ta gaooaw caevmrsitnae wntf sa bucf eansm

N gmmo tfit pmapom ture bm agg lmciusm N cieeat mxprmss bysmog

N hnsondm sacnio wardmrs, eursms, ieh grnmehs wfa ha eat trmit bm

is i rmio pmrsae Nt ns hnggncuot ta onvm aem hiy it i tnbm

\mlmcci demw tfit sfm wis oasne` fmr oieùi`m sdnoos ieh tfm ilno-

nty ta cabbuencitm fmr wnsfms. Fmr wrntne` rmvmios tfit fmr aecm-

bmtncuoaus `ribbir wis sonppne`. Cabpomxnty lmcibm fmr memby4

sfm cauoh eat gaooaw tfm hne ieh rair ag cabpmtne` caevmrsitnaes

cioone` nt eansm. Fmr stitmbmet ilaut sacnio wardmrs, eursms, ieh

grnmehs wfa ha eat trmit fmr is i rmio pmrsae stnoo bidms us latf

sbnom ieh wnecm. Mvme tfau`f fmr caèntnvm sdnoos wmrm ne hmconem, sfm

rmcaènzmh tfit pmapom wmrm trmitne` fmr hnggmrmetoy. Caesmqumetoy,

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97 I HN@ENGNMH ONGM

sfm mxprmssmh fmr ie`mr ieh sabm rmsmetbmet tawirh tfmsm pmapom.\mbirdiloy, sfm wis tryne` ta crmitm i poie gar tfm guturm. Fmr eatms

nehncitm tfit sfm wis hmcnhne` ta tidm tfne`s aem hiy it i tnbm mvme

ng nt wis i stru``om.

\mihne` tfmsm fmirtgmot warhs, yau taa cie lm`ne ta uehmrstieh

tfm mxpmrnmecm ag Iozfmnbmrs hnsmism ieh atfmr hmbmetni. Pntfaut

uehmrstiehne` tfns waroh, wm cieeat passnloy hmvmoap succmssguostritm`nms gar nbpravne` tfm onvms ag aur grnmehs ar oavmh aems wntf

hmbmetni.

Mbatnaes Xfit Iccabpiey

Iozfmnbmrs HnsmismZmrsaes wntf hmbmetni cabbaeoy mxpmrnmecm tfmsm mbatnaes ieh

gmmone`s;

Parry ieh iexnmty Mblirrissbmet

Grustritnae Zirieani

Caegusnae Gmir

Oass Ie`mr

Sihemss Nsaoitnae ieh oaemonemss

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9/21

PFIXS FIZZMENE@1 90

CABBAE MBAXNAES IEH GMMONE@SAG ZM\SAES PNXF IO[FMNBM\S HNSMISM

IEH AXFM\ HMBMEXNI

Mvmry pmrsaes rmspaesm ta Iozfmnbmrs hnsmism ar atfmr hmbmetni

ns hnggmrmet, lut biey pmapom wnoo mxpmrnmecm aem ar barm ag tfm gao-

oawne` mbatnaes.

Parry ieh Iexnmty

Pm ioo warry ar lmcabm iexnaus it tnbms. Zirmets warry ieh

lmcabm iexnaus ilaut tfmnr tmmei`mr wfa ns eat fabm ly curgmw.

Gibnonms biy warry ilaut fivne` meau`f baemy ta piy ioo ag tfmnr

lnoos it tfm meh ag tfm baetf. Sabm pmapom warry tfit i givarntm

cmomlrntys birrni`m ns ne traulom igtmr rmihne` tfm oitmst tiloanh it tfm

supmrbirdmt.

Xfm pmrsae wntf hmbmetni cie lmcabm caesubmh ly warry ieh

iexnmty. Aem grmqumet ly-prahuct ag hmbmetni ns tfit tfm pmrsae

cieeat smpiritm i sbioo warry grab ie ioo-caesubne` caecmre. Gar

mxibpom, i pmrsae wntf hmbmetni biy lm`ne warryne` ilaut hirdcoauhs ne tfm sdy smme tfrau`f i wnehaw. Omgt uecfmcdmh, tfm warry

cie `raw ieh wrmcd fns ar fmr igtmreaae. I sprne` sfawmr cauoh

ture neta i tfuehmrstarb!

Firry Emosae wis i prictncne` hmetnst wfme fm wis hnièasmh wntf

Iozfmnbmrs hnsmism ne fns bnh-gngtnms. Fm wis vmry iexnaus ilaut fns

ongm ieh tfm onvms ag fns gibnoy. Fm warrnmh, wfme ne spntm ag fns hmtmrbn-

eitnae ta dmmp gnt bmetiooy, spnrntuiooy, ieh pfysnciooy, fns scarms ae fns

bmetio mxib dmpt àne` hawe. Fm warrnmh tfit fm wauoh eat lm ilom

ta à fndne` wntf fns `riehsae wfme fm lmcibm aoh meau`f ta mekay i

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96 I HN@ENGNMH ONGM

spart tfit fm oavmh. Fns hrmibs ieh ispnritnaes wmrm ae faoh, ieh fmfih hnggncuoty eat lmne` iexnaus ilaut tfm guturm.

Firrys warrnms irm typncio ag biey pmapom wntf hmbmetni. Xfmy

biy lmcabm upsmt ng tfmy tfned tfmyrm eat bmmtne` tfmnr mbpoay-

bmet alon`itnaes ar irm oitm gar ward. Xfns bidms smesm; ward cae-

subms bucf ag aur onvms, ieh nts uehmrstiehilom tfit tfns pirt ag i

pmrsaes ongm wnoo stnoo rmsurgicm ae accisnae.

Grustritnae

Iobast ioo ag us accisnaeiooy bnspoicm cir dmys. Xfm dmys ture up

mvmetuiooy, lut tfm smircf cie lm vmry grustritne`. Nbi`nem tfm grus-

tritnae ag oasne` yaur dmys ar wioomt mvmry hiy, mvmry faur.

Lmciusm sfart-tmrb bmbary ns itticdmh, tfm pmrsae wntf hmbme-

tni biy caestietoy lm oaadne` gar sabmtfne` fm ar sfm ns cmrtine fis

lmme bnspoicmh. Grustritnae biy iosa stmb grab ginone` ta cabpomtm

mvmryhiy tisds. Ne tfm barene`, i tfau`ftguo cirm pirtemr biy omivm

coatfms ae tfm lmh gar fmr batfmr wntf Iozfmnbmrs hnsmism. Fmr

batfmr stirms it tfm uehmrwmir, loausm, i sdnrt, i swmitmr, sfams, iehkmwmory. Pfit `ams ae gnrst1 Pfit biy fivm aecm lmme sa snbpom ns

eaw ie moilaritm smrnms ag stmps pmrgarbmh ne i cmrtine smqumecm; put

ae tfm fasm lmgarm tfm sfams, tfm lri lmgarm tfm loausm. ^mt, lmciusm

sfm oasms fmr ilnonty ta smqumecm, tfns wabie wntf hmbmetni gnehs

tfit tfm snbpom ict ag hrmssne` ns mxtrmbmoy grustritne`. Ae tap ag tfns,

tfm pmrsae ns misnoy tnrmh aut ar mxfiustmh ly tfm mxtri mggart ieh cae-cmetritnae nt tidms ta cabpomtm i aecm rautnem tisd.

Iccustabmh ta usne` fns rmisaene` ieh pralomb-saovne` ilnontnms ne

fns ward, Lrmvirh Crnfgnmoh ar Crnfg, tfm garbmr mxmcutnvm hnrmctar

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PFIXS FIZZMENE@1 9>

ag tfm Cauecno ag Stitm @avmrebmets, subbmh up fns mxpmrnmecm agIozfmnbmrs hnsmism wfme fm sinh ne grustritnae, Nt ns ondm by fmih ns

i ln` deal turemh ta agg.

Crnfg s hmscrnptnae ag Iozfmnbmrs hnsmism rmbines aem ag tfm lmst

wmvm fmirh4 nt ns pawmrguo ieh irtncuoitm.

Caegusnae

Pfit ha yau tfned wfme i grnmeh hams eat sfaw up gar i ouecf

hitm1 Biylm aem ag yau àt tfm tnbm ieh hitm bnxmh up. âu fapm

eatfne` smrnaus fis fippmemh, sa yau try cioone` yaur grnmehs cmoo

pfaem, ieh tfm bystmry ns saovmhyau fivm aem ta hnggmrmet rmstiu-

riets! Xfm caegusnae fis lmme comirmh up, lut ng yaur grnmeh fih eat

ieswmrmh fns tmompfaem, yau wauoh stnoo lm it tfm rmstiuriet, wintne`

nbpitnmetoy.

Gar biey pmapom wntf hmbmetni, caegusnae ns i hinoy mxpmrnmecm.

Xfm pmrsae ns emvmr quntm surm ilaut ieytfne`tfm tnbm ag hiy,

tfm poicm, ieh tfm pmapom iraueh fnb ar fmr. Iosa, ueondm tfm ilavm

mxibpom, pmapom wntf hmbmetni agtme cieeat sart aut ar ward tfmnrwiy tfrau`f tfm caegusmh stitm.

\uly Bim ieh i vaouetmmr it i hiy cmetmr wmrm oaadne` it i pfata

iolub. Oaad, \uly Bim, yau irm hiecne` wntf i fiehsabm yaue`

bie. \uly Bim oavmh i àah tnbm ieh smmbmh ta lm mekayne` rmonvne`

sabm gue tnbms. Pfme nt wis tnbm ta mit, sfm nesnstmh tfit tfmy lrne`

fnb ta ouecf, taa. Fnb1 tfm grnmeh waehmrmh. âu deaw tfit encm

aem wm wmrm kust hiecne` wntf. Fms fue`ry taa, \uly Bim rmponmh.

\uly Bim wis pragauehoy caegusmh, lut sfm dmpt fmr smesm ag

fubar tfrau`faut fmr oae` kauremy wntf Iozfmnbmrs hnsmism.

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PFIXS FIZZMENE@1 09

Sihemss

Ioo ag us mxpmrnmecm babmets ag sihemss. Zmrfips yau rmbmblmr

i ginomh rmoitnaesfnp ar tfm oass ag i lmoavmh pmt. Biylm i pan`eiet

stary ae tfm emws bidms yau tmiry. Sihemss cie lm gommtne`, ar nt cie

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PFIXS FIZZMENE@1


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PFIXS FIZZMENE@1 : gar sabm nhmis ilaut

litfne`.)

Ie`mr

Ioo ag us `mt ie`ry accisnaeiooy, ieh iotfau`f ea aem wiets ta

lmir tfm lruet ag nt, ie`mr fis i caestructnvm purpasm; Nt cie fmop us

gn`ft i littom ng tfrmitmemh. Nt cie rmomism firbguo strmss ieh pmet-

up mbatnae. Iosa, sabmtnbms `mttne` sabmtfne` agg yaur cfmst ly

lmcabne` ie`ry cie omih ta fmione` ne rmoitnaesfnps.

Nt ns i bytf tfit ioo, ar mvme bast, pmapom wntf Iozfmnbmrs hnsmismirm vnaomet. ^mt pmapom wntf hmbmetni cie lmcabm ie`ry. Xfmy biy

eat iowiys uehmrstieh wfit ns fippmene` iraueh tfmb ieh ta tfmb.

Ie`mr cie iosa stmb grab i oass ag caetrao wfme tfmy gmmo rusfmh ar

uehuoy prmssurmh ta ha sabmtfne`.

^au `a fabm! Ieenm ymoos ng ie`mrmh. Fmr fuslieh, Kicd Faobie,

siys tfit sfm fis iowiys lmme vmry nehmpmehmet, ieh tfit eaw, fivne`

ta hmpmeh ae atfmrs gar ioo fmr emmhs ns rmiooy hnggncuot gar fmr. Lmciusm

ag fmr Iozfmnbmrs hnsmism, fmr vaciluoiry ns vmry onbntmh, lut sfm stnoo

cie gneh warhs ta mxprmss fmrsmog wfme sfm lmcabms ie`ry.

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PFIXS FIZZMENE@1


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PFIXS FIZZMENE@1

Aecm yau uehmrstieh wfit uehmronms tfm cfioome`ne` lmfivnars,yau lm`ne ta smm hmbmetni cirm ne i emw on`ft. Xfm Lmst Grnmehs

ippraicf fmops yau `ine tfns pmrspmctnvm. Ieh rmbmblmr; lmciusm

tfm pmrsaes bmhncio caehntnae wnoo eat cfie`m, nt ns wm, is grnmehs

ieh gibnoy, wfa bust cfie`m.

Lmst Grnmehs Zanetmrs

Gmmone`s ag oass, caegusnae, grustritnae, ieh ie`mr cie lm earbio

gmmone`s ciusmh ly hmbmetni.

Zmapom wntf hmbmetni irm wardne` vmry firh ta bidm smesm ag

tfmnr waroh, ta smm tfrau`f tfns caegusnae ieh bmbary oass.

Xidne` tnbm ta tfned ilaut tfm mxpmrnmecm ag tfm pmrsae fmops us

avmrcabm hmenio, hmvmoap mbpitfy, ieh lm i barm suppartnvm

ieh mggmctnvm cirm pirtemr.

a dignified life, revised and expandedthe best friends™ approach to alzheimer's care: a guide for...

Documents