A Guide to your Wedding

at St John’s Church

2018

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Contents

INTRODUCTION ......................................................................................... 4

BOOKING YOUR WEDDING ........................................................................ 4

Requirements ........................................................................................ 5

BANNS ....................................................................................................... 5

Marriage Preparation ............................................................................ 6

Coming to Church .................................................................................. 6

Getting More Involved .......................................................................... 7

Attend a Christianity Explored Course .................................................. 7

THE WEDDING SERVICE ............................................................................. 9

Thinking about the day... ....................................................................... 9

P.A. System .......................................................................................... 11

Payment .............................................................................................. 12

Rehearsal ............................................................................................. 12

Wedding Flowers ................................................................................. 12

Wedding Photography ........................................................................ 13

Video Recording .................................................................................. 14

Confetti ............................................................................................... 14

Service Sheets ..................................................................................... 14

Car Parking .......................................................................................... 15

WEDDING RECEPTION ............................................................................. 16

A VERY IMPORTANT BOOK FOR YOUR HOME... ...................................... 16

AND FINALLY... ........................................................................................ 17

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YOUR WEDDING AT ST JOHN’S CHURCH, WIMBORNE INTRODUCTION

We are pleased that you have chosen to have your wedding service here and we very much look forward to welcoming you both to this Church. This information booklet has been written to assist you to think about your Marriage together as you plan your Wedding Service. If you need any further help or guidance, please telephone the Vicar, Revd Peter Breckwoldt, on 01202 886551, or our Administrator on 01202 842255.

BOOKING YOUR WEDDING

As an initial stage, you will need to contact the Vicar to find out if you and your fiancé meet the legal requirements to have your wedding at St John’s Church. If you do, you may also want to discuss possible dates and availability of the Church building.

Following this initial conversation, a meeting with the Vicar will be arranged to go through some of the necessary formalities of your marriage. At that meeting he will require certain information from you to complete the Registers which you will sign at the end of the marriage ceremony:

The full names of you both

Your ages at the date of the marriage

Your status - whether you are single (i.e. not married to anyone else or currently in a Civil Partnership) or widowed

Your occupations

Your addresses at the date of your marriage

Your fathers’ full names and occupations (if any) or, if appropriate, those of the current step-father of either of you.

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Requirements To get married at St John’s Church you will need to fulfil the following requirements which are in line with the policy of the Parochial Church Council at St John’s Church:

To live in the Parish of New Borough & Leigh, St John, or To be regularly worshipping at St John’s Church, Wimborne for a substantial period prior to your wedding, or To have a clear family connection to the Parish / Church in recent time or at the present time, and To have previously not been married. If so, then the church offers a service of blessing after a civil marriage, and To pay a deposit to secure the booking of your wedding day.

BANNS

Most weddings are conducted after the publication of Banns. If neither member of the couple live in the parish, nor worship habitually at St John’s, or if either is a citizen of a country other than Great Britain, please speak to the Vicar before proceeding further, as a different course of action will be necessary.

If either of you lives in another parish, then Banns of Marriage have to be called in that/those parish(es). Certificate(s) of Banns need to be obtained and given to St John’s before a wedding can take place. It is the couple’s responsibility to make these arrangements; guidance can be given by the Church Office.

Dates for the reading of Banns at St John’s (on 3 consecutive Sundays) will be made by arrangement.

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PREPARING FOR YOUR WEDDING

Preparing for a wedding can be a very busy time, but we at St John’s Church would like to ask you to spend some time thinking about your marriage, and how God calls us to live. Therefore we encourage couples who choose to get married at St John’s Church to think about and to do several things to help you prepare for your married life together:

Marriage Preparation All couples getting married at St John’s Church are invited to attend a Marriage preparation morning, usually run on a Saturday morning in February or March of each year. The purpose of this morning is to help you as a couple to think through some of the issues relating to marriage, and to prepare yourselves not only for your wedding day, but also for your married life together; there will be time for you to ask any questions you may have. It will also be an opportunity for you to meet some of the other couples getting married at St John’s in the same year as you.

Details of this morning will be sent to you in the post at the beginning of the year in which you are planning to get married, and we hope that you will both be able to attend this morning together.

Coming to Church We do also very much hope to see you both here at Church on a regular basis in the coming months as you plan for your marriage together, so that we can get to know you, and you can get to know us.

We warmly recommend that you try to join us at our services:

9am or 11am Morning Worship (1st Sunday is Holy Communion), 6.30pm: Evening Worship (3rd Sunday is Holy Communion)

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On occasion the service details are a little different from this, so please pick up a Service Programme from the Church to make sure, or contact the Church Office (01202 842255) for details.

Getting More Involved We would also like to encourage you as a couple to think about getting a little more involved in the life of St John’s Church. There are many small groups in the life of the Church which suit different ages and interests.

If you would like more information about any of our groups, please contact the Church Office (01202 842255) or look at our website (www.stjohnswimborne.org.uk).

Attend a Christianity Explored or Life Explored Course As a Church, we are pleased to recommend a short course to all our wedding couples. This

course is called Christianity Explored, and is an ideal way for you both to find out more about the Christian faith in a relaxed and friendly environment. This course runs twice a year and will help you to think about the important issues of life and faith as you prepare for your marriage together.

Content of the Christianity Explored Course Is there a God? What is the meaning of life? Who was Jesus? How do I make sense of the world? What happens when I die? Is there any purpose in the world? Does anyone know what I’m going through? What is Christianity all about? Can I know contentment and happiness? If these or any other questions are on your mind, then Christianity Explored is designed for you!

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Developed over 10 years, Christianity Explored is an informal course for people who'd like to investigate Christianity, or just brush up on the basics. It explores who Jesus was, what his aims were, and what it means to follow him. We believe that there is nothing more important for us to hear, so we hope that as a couple you’re able to join us at one of the next courses we will be running.

The course is divided into six sessions. Each session will last no more than 90 minutes, including time to chat over coffee and cake.

You're not asked to pray, sing, or read aloud, and you can ask any question you like. Or, if you prefer, you can come along and simply listen.

Content of the Life Explored Course Life Explored is a seven session series featuring a combination of short films and Bible interaction. Life Explored shows how our deepest desires for happiness can only be satisfied in one person, Jesus Christ. The best gift God can give us is himself.

Session 1 The Good God Session 2 The Trustworthy God Session 3 The Generous God Session 4 The Liberating God Session 5 The Fulfilling God Session 6 The Life-Giving God Session 7 The Joyful God

If you have any questions about these courses, then please don’t hesitate to speak to us.

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THE WEDDING SERVICE

Thinking about the day... As your wedding day approaches, there will be many things to plan and consider. The following information is given to you to help you plan some of the details of your wedding service.

A typical wedding service will comprise the following:

A Bridal March Two or three Hymns A Bible Reading A Talk Prayers A Wedding March

Reading At every wedding the Bible will be read. The reading will be from the New International Version of the Bible. Choosing a Bible reading can be difficult, so set out below are a list of some popular choices. However, please feel free to choose another passage from the Bible if you so wish:

John 2, verses 1-11 Philippians 2, verses 1-11 1 John 4, verses 7-21 Ephesians 3, verses 14-21 2 Peter 1, verses 1-11 Matthew 22, verses 1-14 Genesis 1, verses 26-31 1 Corinthians 13, verses 1-13 Psalm 24 Ephesians 5, verses 21-33

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Music Set out below are some helpful suggestions with regard to the music which will be played and sung for your special day. If you have any specific musical requests, please do not hesitate to contact the Vicar with your ideas. Please contact the Church Office to make arrangements for the music you require.

Hymns As a general rule, we suggest that one hymn should be sung at the start of the Service, and another just before the prayers. If you wish, you may also have a third hymn at the end of the Service. Although you are not limited to the following list of popular hymns, it may help you to decide which ones to choose:

Be Thou my vision For the beauty of the earth Great is Thy faithfulness Lead us, Heavenly Father, lead us Love divine, all loves excelling Lord of all hopefulness Now thank we all our God Praise my soul the King of heaven The King of Love my Shepherd Is The Lord’s my Shepherd

Bridal March The usual Bridal March (“Here comes the Bride”) is the Bridal March from Lohengrin by Wagner. If you do not wish to have this, one of the following alternatives is often selected:

Trumpet Voluntary (Jeremiah Clarke) Te Deum Prelude (Charpentier) Trumpet Tune (Purcell) Hornpipe, from Water Music (Handel) March from Scipio (Handel)

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Wedding March The following three are the usual tunes used. If you express no preference, the organist will play one of them:

Wedding March from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” (Mendelssohn) Toccata in F from “Organ Symphony No 5” (Widor) Queen of Sheba (Handel)

The Hornpipe from Handel’s Water Music may also be played at this point, as may any of the alternatives to the Bridal March – it is up to you to choose! If you have other works which you prefer, please contact the organist and supply a copy of the music. If it is suitable, it will be played for you!

Organist The services of a Church organist will be enlisted for your wedding (unless you prefer to provide your own). If you wish to have any part of the Service video-taped, this fee will be higher and special authorisation from the Vicar will be necessary.

Cautionary notes Please be aware that the organ is a WIND instrument. Brahms and Beethoven piano music would sound decidedly odd!

If you are marrying a member of the Royal family, the hymn “I Vow to Thee my Country” is quite appropriate, but NOT otherwise!

If you want the hymn “Jerusalem” sung at your wedding, please remember to invite Placido Domingo – somebody must sing the high notes!

P.A. System The full P.A. system is important for the service, especially if other people are chosen to do readings. If you require a CD recording of the service for your records, please request this via the Church Office.

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Payment A NON-RETURNABLE deposit of £50.00 is required at the time the wedding is booked.

Typical cost of a wedding service As a rough guide, the cost of a wedding (without permission to video-record the Service) at St John’s Church would be £484*. There are extra charges, as follows:

Organist £70 (doubled if service is filmed)

Verger £30

P.A. Operator £40

Heating £15 (if required)

Lighting £25 (all year)

Flowers by arrangement (as below)

Your final payment will be due no later than one month before the date of your wedding. *2018 charges – these are revised each year

Rehearsal A rehearsal will be arranged, usually in the week leading up to the date of your wedding, and at a time convenient both to you and the officiating minister. The bride and groom must both attend, and it would be helpful if others who are participating in the service also attended (e.g. the person giving the bride away, best man, bridesmaids, ushers, friends or family members who are doing any readings, etc.).

We would strongly recommend that any stag or hen parties are not arranged to take place during the week leading up to the wedding.

Wedding Flowers There are flowers in church for Sunday services, but if you require special arrangements and colours, please contact Mrs

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Meg Brown (tel. 01202 880679) at least six weeks before the wedding day. This is particularly important if you wish to use ‘outside’ flower arrangers.

You may have a friend or relative you would like to arrange your flowers, and this is fine, but please let us know in advance so that any flowers already in the Church can be cleared out. Please note that one arrangement on the shelf by the lectern and two on the side alcoves must remain in the Church after your wedding.

The above also applies should you choose to employ a professional florist. We shall also need to know the time that the flowers will be delivered to the church so that arrangements may be made to let them in - please give the florist the Church Office telephone number so they can get in touch with us.

Wedding Photography Photography is most welcome at all weddings as long it complies with the policy guidelines. The guidelines set out below are to be followed unless prior approval is given by the vicar or another member of staff.

Guidelines 1. Prior to the service, photographs and video recording can take place around the church as long as it does not interfere with the necessary preparations for the wedding about to take place. 2. When the bride arrives at the door of the church, it is strictly required that no video cameras or cameras are used from that time onwards unless officially authorised by the church prior to the service (this will mean there can be one photographer and one video camera technician only). 3. During the service itself, both the position of the photographer and video camera will have been clearly agreed with the vicar or other member of staff prior to the service taking place. During the service they will not move to new locations.

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4. The photographer who is taking photographs is required, where possible, not to use flash during the service (no other camera may be used while the service is in progress). 5. During the signing of the registers that takes place in the vestry, it is required that only one photographer shall come in to take official photographs, once all the legal documentation has been signed. 6. During the wedding march, as the bride and groom leave the church, all cameras in the church may now take whatever pictures they wish as long as they keep the main aisles clear. 7. Videos and cameras can be used across the church grounds once the bride and groom have left the church.

Video Recording If you require a video recording of the service please arrange this via the Church Office. A licence agreement will need to be signed and a fee of £100 is charged if we provide this for you.

Confetti We request confetti is not thrown in the Church or Church Centre, but it can be used outside provided it is far enough away from entrances to ensure it won’t be blown inside.

Car Parking Space for car parking in the roads surrounding St John’s is limited. The school playground adjacent to the church can be booked by arrangement with St John’s First School (tel. 01202 883675) for a fee of £20.

Service Sheets Printed service sheets are not essential, and can be very expensive unless you print them yourselves. Below is a draft Order of Service: please follow this and discuss it with the Vicar before finalising any printing. Don’t forget to include copyright details of all hymns/songs.

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DRAFT ORDER OF SERVICE

At the entry of the Bride __________________ __________________

(Title of Music) (Composer) Opening Prayer

Hymn

(printed at length) The Marriage Ceremony

Hymn (printed at length)

The Reading The Address The Prayers

Lord’s Prayer (printed in full – traditional or modern words)

Hymn (printed at length)

The Blessing The Signing of the Registers

__________________ __________________

(Title of Music) (Composer)

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WEDDING RECEPTION

You may like to know that the Church Centre is available to hire for your wedding reception.

The Church Centre is a convenient venue for your wedding reception as your guests will not have to travel. You may hire the Centre to serve drinks after the service while you are having your photographs taken, or for a full sit-down wedding breakfast. We are sure you will find it a comfortable venue, with a substantial hall and kitchen which are able to cater easily for up to 120 people.

If you wish to enquire about costs and availability please contact the Church Office (01202 842255).

A VERY IMPORTANT BOOK FOR YOUR HOME...

The Bible. One of the best investments that you can make for your home together is the Bible, God’s word written.

Why not together purchase a modern translation of the Bible (we would recommend the New International Version (NIV)) that will help not only your plans for your wedding but be an important resource for your life together?

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AND FINALLY...

At St John’s Church we want to do everything we can to make your wedding day a special day to remember. We also want to encourage you to think beyond the day, to the exciting, lifelong commitment that you are making to each other, so that your marriage has a solid foundation on which to grow and flourish.

We believe that marriage is a blessing given to us by God, and we want to encourage every couple to consider the commitment they are making to each other in the light of this truth. We believe that marriage works best if God is at the very centre of it, and so we pray that by following some of the advice in this booklet you will learn together how you can work this out in your marriage.

With every blessing

Revd Peter Breckwoldt

Vicar of St John’s Church, Wimborne

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