thema lesson about life scripts

Some children are programmed by their parents for failure.

Are you one of them?

Several years ago while on a harbour cruise I met a very interesting man.

His name was David. He was

quite distinguished and obviously well

educated.

As we talked I learned quite a lot about David.  He was a barrister and principal of his own law firm.

He was wealthy, successful and powerful.

Yet despite all his success David also

had his collection of worries and

troubles.

That evening as we said our goodbyes I offered David a free

introductory coaching session - an offer he readily

accepted.  

The following week David came to my office for his

coaching session.

Now obviously I

can’t discuss what we

talked about - so let’s just say that he found it -

beneficial.

Happy with the results David booked a follow-up session and left.

Several days later I was having afternoon tea with my mother. As she poured the tea I told her that I had offered a free coaching session to a barrister.

Mum then asked me a two questions that now - ten years later - I still think about.

“Oh my, weren’t you too scared to ask

him?” 

“Weren’t you afraid that he would laugh at

you?”

It took me quite a while to think about the

answers to those two

simple questions.

Mum was right I did feel fear when I offered David the free coaching session.

I was afraid that he would reject me.

But why?

As I replayed the memory of the harbour cruise I reflected on why I was concerned that David might reject my offer. After all what I was offering was for his benefit.

Finally I realised that the fear I felt when I offered David the free coaching session was because David was ‘One of Them’.

No I don’t mean David

was gay.

David represented in real life the ‘Them’ that my mother talked about when I was younger.  You see, when I was a child, Mum would refer to successful business people as “they” and “them”.

She would say things like…

Oh. They are so smart.

They make all the money.

They know how to be successful.

They are not like us.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be one of them

and more importantly how we, I, was not One of Them.

Listening to this wishful thinking by my Mother over the years had effectively programmed me to

believe how successful They were…

Successful People’s Club

Successful People’s Club

How could I ever hope to be successful in my life?  I was not one of the chosen few.  I

was not part of the secret

society of Them who had all the money, power, knowledge, or even the right

to be successful. 

All the stories around the dinner table, all the comments mum would make about the rich and famous as we watched the evening news, everything she said programmed my impressionable young mind about my place in the world.

Mum believed that she was somehow not one of the chosen few and she inadvertently taught me to think the same way.

Oh. They are so smart.

They make all the money.

They know how to be successful.

They are not like us.

Wouldn’t it be nice to be one of them

I learnt that I wasn’t one of “Them”.

Those seeds of thought innocently coloured my childhood thinking and as an adult blossomed into my beliefs, attitudes and ideas.

They had become part of my life script which through the power of High Performance Thinking I have now learned how to change.

Oh, and where did my Mother get her

beliefs from? 

Well from her parents of course, and they got their programming from

their parents.

How many times have you felt fear about doing something that you really wanted to do?  

How many times have you let it stop you?

What seeds did your parents plant in your mind?

What seeds do you plant in the mind’s of your children?

Some children are programmed by their parents for failure.

Are you one of them?

Artwork by hiraarshad (fiverr.com)

Story by Eric Pace The High Performance Thinking Coach

www.highperformancethinking.com.auClick here to find out more