a little conflict is a good thing

“We Speak Your Language” Retained Executive Search Recruitment Outsourcing Leadership Consulting

Conflict Resolution: A little conflict is a good thing!

ACEC-ASCE-TSPE Annual Meeting September 14, 2012

“We Speak Your Language”

Who is Dan Ryan? • Recovering engineer/scientist • Father and husband • Teacher and facilitator • Engaged sports fan


Conflict is . . .

any situation in which your

concerns or desires differ from those of

another person

RM-3


Objectives

• Become more aware of your own conflict style

• Recognize the conflict styles of others

• Assess conflict situations • Practice using different conflict

modes • Learn how to manage constructive conflict

RM-4


Understanding the Conflict Modes

Two basic aspects of all Conflict-handling modes…

RM-5

Your Conflict = Skill + Situation Mode

Cooperativeness

Asse

rtive

ness

“We Speak Your Language” “We Speak Your Language” RM-6

From Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument by K. W. Thomas and R. H. Kilmann, 1974, 2000. Mountain View, CA: Xicom, Incorporated, subsidiary of CPP, Inc. Copyright 1974, 2000 by CPP, Inc. Used with permission.

“We Speak Your Language” “We Speak Your Language” RM-7

From Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument by K. W. Thomas and R. H. Kilmann, 1974, 2000. Mountain View, CA: Xicom, Incorporated, subsidiary of CPP, Inc. Copyright 1974, 2000 by CPP, Inc. Used with permission.


The Five Conflict Handling Modes

RM-8


Competing

• Taking quick action • Making unpopular decisions • Standing up for vital issues • Protecting yourself

RM-9

“My way or the highway”


Competing Skills

• Arguing or debating

• Using rank, position, or influence

• Asserting your opinions and feelings

• Standing your ground

• Stating your position clearly

RM-10


Overuse of Competing

• Lack of feedback

• Reduced learning

• Low empowerment

• Surrounded by “yes people”

RM-11


Underuse of Competing

• Restricted influence

• Indecision

• Delayed action

• Withholding of contributions

RM-12


Excessive Competing


Accommodating

• Showing reasonableness • Developing performance • Creating goodwill • Keeping “peace” • Retreating • Maintaining perspective

RM-14

“It would be my pleasure”


Accommodating Skills

• Forgoing your desires

• Selflessness

• Obedience

• Ability to yield

RM-15


Overuse of Accommodating

• Overlooked ideas

• Restricted influence

• Loss of contribution

• Anarchy

RM-16


Underuse of Accommodating

• Lack of rapport

• Low morale

• By-the-book reputation

• Inability to yield

RM-17


Avoiding

• Leaving unimportant issues alone

• Reducing tensions • Buying time • Knowing your limitations • Allowing others ownership • Recognizing issues as

symptoms

RM-18

“I’ll think about it tomorrow”


Avoiding Skills

• Withdrawing

• Sidestepping

• Sense of timing

• Ability to leave things unresolved

RM-19


Overuse of Avoiding

• Lack of input from you

• Decisions made by default

• Festering issues

• Climate of caution

RM-20


Underuse of Avoiding

• Hostility/hurt feelings

• Work overload—too many causes

• Lack of prioritization/delegation

RM-21


Avoiding


Collaborating

• Integrating solutions • Learning • Merging perspectives • Gaining commitment • Improving relationships

RM-23

“Two heads are better than one”


Collaborating Skills

• Ability to listen, understand, and empathize

• Nonthreatening confrontation

• Input analysis

• Identifying underlying concerns

RM-24


Overuse of Collaborating

• Too much time on trivial matters

• Diffused responsibility

• People who take advantage

• Work overload

RM-25


Underuse of Collaborating

• Mutual gains deprivation

• Lack of commitment

• Low empowerment

• Loss of innovation

RM-26


Compromising

• Resolving issues of moderate importance

• Reaching resolution with equal power and strong commitment

• Creating temporary solutions • Dealing with time constraints • Backing up competing/

collaborating

RM-27

“Let’s make a deal”


Compromising Skills

• Negotiating

• Finding a “middle ground”

• Making concessions

• Assessing value

RM-28


Overuse of Compromising

• Loss of big-picture perspective

• Lack of trust

• Cynical climate

RM-29


Underuse of Compromising

• Unnecessary confrontations

• Frequent power struggles

• Inability to negotiate effectively

RM-30


Compromising in life


In Summary

• There are five modes of handling conflict – Competing – Collaborating – Compromising – Avoiding – Accommodating


Causes of Team Conflict

• Values of team members • Attitudes of team members • Goals/Expectations - the processes and expected

outcomes • Roles and responsibilities of team members • Limited resources • Personalities • Interdependency • Increased interaction (frequency)

Source: Cappozzoli & Alessandra


Remedies for team conflict

• Self-awareness • Open communication • Mediation • Reorganization • Realignment-Reassignment • Disbanding


Case Study Your project team consists of the following individuals: • John (avoider) Team Leader-PM • Jane (compromiser) Asst. PM • Jim (competing) 5 year PE • Joan (competing) 25 year PG • Bubba (competing) 15 year Scientist You (John) are working on a project with a tight deadline and you consistently have challenges with Jim, Joan and Bubba

disagreeing on the best course of action. What might you do?


Questions?


Thank You!

Dan Ryan Principal

615 202 0883 cell 615 656 3535 office

[email protected] http://ryansc.net

mailto:[email protected]

http://ryansc.net/

a little conflict is a good thing

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