a mountain of hate and love
TRANSCRIPT
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A MOUNTAIN OF LOVE AND HATE
By George Rolph
July 2014.
There were no phone lines over Fallbeck Mounain in 1!4". The only way o co##unicae o $olkson he oher si%e was by ra%io& leer& or in person. Ra%io worke% 'uicker i$ here were no
hun%ersor#s aroun% o ruin he signal& bu only hen i$ (elese Mo)on was ho#e an% willing o
relay your conversaions o $olks on he oher si%e o$ he big rock.
*er house a he op o$ he #ounain was per$ecly siuae% $or he +ob o$ being a ra%io repeaer. ,he
ha% a big& $our ban%& ra%io insalle% ha she lisene% oo. -ach ban%& labelle% /&F& an% (. on he
ban% swich serve% a %i$$eren %epar#en $or he co##uniy. These were $or he police& he $ire
crews& %ocors an% $or civilian use. -ach ban% ha% heir own separae $re'uency an% he ra%io ha% a
general calling channel on channel 14. was his channel ha (elese ha% o #onior. 3hen a call
ca#e hrough she an% he caller woul% hen swich o he ban% assigne% an% he conversaion coul%begin.
Mosly he callers were civilians calling o le heir husban%s or wives know hey woul% be ho#e
$ro# he oher si%e o$ he #ounain soon& or ha hey coul% no ge wha was wane% $ro# he sore
an% %i% he or she wan he# o ge so#ehing else insea% 5ou know he kin% o$ hing.
The 6*F ra%ios were wha is calle%& 7line8o$8sigh9 ra%ios. Tha is& he signal woul% go ou $ro#
he anenna an% as long as i %i%n: hi anyhing big enough o %e$lec i an% sen% i o$$ in a %i$$eren
%irecion ;ike one pool ball hiing anoher on he /ool able& he receiving saion woul% ge i
lou% an% clear. The #ounain isel$ was one such big obsrucion bu i coul% also be a house& oreven& a big enough ree.
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ha% learne% which voice was one o$ he hree %ocors in he area& which was he $ire saion ra%io
operaor& which was he sheri$$ or his %epuy& an% so on. ,he knew in an insan which ban% o ell
he caller o selec an% i$ he call was going o be urgen or no.
Billy Mo)on was in love wih ,arah ,an$iel% an% having o alk hrough (elese Mo)on was
$rusraing an% %arne% e#barrassing.
The ki%s ha% co%es o$ course. >ll ki%s ha% co%es hey use% when hey %i% no wan a%uls o $igure
ou wha hey were saying. ;ile phrases ha only hey knew he #eaning o$. The proble# was ha
(elese was an -nglish uor a her ho#e an% in ouch wih ki%s an% heir co%es. 3hen Billy ol%
,arah ha he& 7caugh an% kille% a snake las nigh9 he suspece% ha ,arah was no he only person
who knew ha #ean he ha% a #asurbaory $anasy abou #aking love o her.
The only i#e ,arah an% Billy go o see each oher in he $lesh was a he annual couny $air in
Blacksone every July ?h or& a he wice yearly carnival in Fenne#ore. @nless& as %i% so#ei#es
happen& so#e oher social even croppe% up %uring he year. -ven hen here were always los o$
$a#ily aroun% so being able o snach a kiss an% a $u#ble was har%. > he couny $air& he wo ki%s
woul% spen% an e)raor%inary a#oun o$ i#e ri%ing he ghos rain ogeher an% $or one #inue an%
weny secon%s a rip& hey coul% have a breahless goo% i#e in he %ark unnels& unseen by prying
$a#ily eyes.
(elese glance% a he clock an% s#ile%. n abou hiry secon%s& a A1A p# precisely& channel 14woul% co#e o li$e. ,he was knea%ing %ough on he kichen able an% soppe% o wipe he $lour
$ro# her han%s be$ore she sa %own in $ron o$ he ra%io on is low shel$. ,he %rank a all glass o$
Moonshine as she wache% he secon% han% on he clock. >s i hi he welve channel14 burs ino
li$e. Billy was nohing i$ no puncual.
7TarCan calling Fallbeck relay wih a #essage $or Jane. TarCan calling Fallbeck relay wih a
#essage $or Jane. Dver9
,he swiche% on he #icrophone an% leane% over i.
7This is Fallbeck relay& his is Fallbeck Relay& please swich o ban% (. Fre'uency 14A.?2A Repea.
Ban% (& $re'uency 14A.?2A. Dver.9
@n%ersoo% Fallbeck Relay. Ban% (& $re'uency 14A.?2A. Dver.
,he waie% hree secon%s o be sure he caller ha% swiche% ban%s an% $re'uencies an% hen&
7This is Fallbeck Relay. Go ahea%& TarCan. Dver.9
>s she waie% $or Billy o rea% his #essage $or her o repea o ,arah& she $el he $a#iliar kno o$bier $ury in her so#ach. ,he hae% his ki%& Billy wih he kin% o$ hare% ha sis in he belly like
kin% o$ #alignan puss ooCing $ro# a cancer o$ he spiri. ,he hae% hi# an% his /a. -very i#e she
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hear% his voice& or saw eiher Billy or his /a in he $lesh& ha hare% woul% ea a lile %eeper ino
her #in%. @nil now she ha% always been able o %isguise i behin% her neural ra%io voice or& i$ she
saw eiher o$ he# on he sree& a 'uick bu $ake s#ile.
,he #a%e no ae#p o ge a grip o$ her hae an% he $ury ha $e% i. ,he like% i. ,he like%
encouraging i o growE o le i buil% up in her unil she ha% o ge %runk o en+oy i a is $ull $loo%
as i surge% up $ro# her belly o her hear& shooing is lile bols o$ a%renalin $ille% rage ino her
#in%. -ach bol acco#panie% by a clear an% %eaile% vision o$ so#e kin% o$ pain being in$lice% onBilly or Benrigh Mo)on. ,he woul% wach hese #ovies in her #in% wih sick %eligh. *er wise%
i#aginaion $urnishing he visions wih creaive ways o in$lic su$$ering& lasing har# an% pain on
he wo #ales she hae% above all ohers.
The booCe woul% heighen he e)perience. allowe% her o %ich he inhibiions o$ conscience an%
+us en+oy he unresrice%& guilless $low o$ her growing hae. ,he knew she was obsesse% by
revenge bu she %i% no care. #aere% lile o her ha ohers woul% +u%ge her sick an% in nee% o$
help i$ hey coul% see wha u#ble%& ooCe% an% crep hrough her being when her hae was in $ull
$low. Though she was care$ul never o le he# see i. They woul% no un%ersan%.
To her& hese hings were %elicious. 6isceral reas $or her #in%. > (hocolae ,un%ae o$ rage& hae
an% vengeance oppe% wih sprinklings o$ paranoia& a wa$er o$ persecuion co#ple) an% serve% in a
%eligh$ully col% %ish o$ > psychopahic& narcissisic longing $or acion on her par. n #any ways
she was a $e#inis& weny years ahea% o$ her i#e. ,he ha% +us never %eci%e% o #ake her personal
neuroses poliical& link he# o Mar)is# an% bore everyone else o %eah wih he#& while %oing as
#uch %a#age o $a#ily li$e as possible an% luring supi% #en ino he poliical web wih lying
slogans such as 7-'ualiy.9 73o#en:s Righs.9 7/ariarchy.9 7Dppression&9 an% on an% on.
: a# wo#an. *ear #e roar:
(elese swallowe% anoher #ouh$ul o$ Moonshine. ,he knew she was playing a %angerous ga#e
by #i)ing $ury an% hare% wih booCe& bu she like% i. The alcohol loosene% her conrol like a
$raying rope hol%ing up a swinging #ounain cli#ber. ,he en+oye% leing he booCe ea away a
ha conrol unil she was sure he rope woul% par an% plunge he cli#ber ino he rocky %ephs
below. ,he won%ere% wha i woul% $eel like as she $ell ino oal& ra#paging #a%ness. There was a
hrill aache% o allowing hersel$ o ge closer an% closer o ha #enal an% spiriual abyss. To +us
le her sel$ conrol snap an% hen lose hersel$ in he #ur%erous whirlpool o$ evil wihin her. To spin
wil%ly ino a place where here were no social niceiesE where i was D o +us hae an% no be
bohere% by social convenions an% resrainsE o beco#e& willingly& ani#alE wihou a conscience o$
any kin% an% rea%y o e#brace evil as a $rien% o be love% an% no $eare%.
@nil now she ha% always chickene% ou. ,o#ehing $ro# her every%ay li$e = so#e pleasan#e#ory or $uure ask ha nee%e% %oing = woul% always +erk her back o a #easure o$ saniy.
To%ay hough& she ha% $oun% he courage o le he booCe sever he $raying rope o$ saniy. To%ay&
she was going o le hersel$ go ino he %ark si%e. The place where her #oher live% an% who always
urge% her o co#e an% +oin her& wihou acually saying so.
Benrigh Mo)on was (elese:s e) husban% an% Billy was her son. ,he ha% le$ he# boh $or a goo%
looking ravelling sales#an she ha% se%uce% when he ca#e o her %oor o ry an% sell her he laes
$reeCer.
7>ll #en an% wo#en harbour pervere% se)ual nee%s&9 her #oher ha% ol% her once a$er her $aher
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ha% kille% hi#sel$. 7They hi%e he# un%er heir $ake social graces& bu hey all have he#. $ you
can %iscover he# an% $ee% heir $anasies& hey will le you %o anyhing you wan o he#& o o
keep he pleasure co#ing.9
*er #oher has augh her wha o look $or. The suble signs& as well as he blaan ones. Men
en%e% o be less suble abou he# han wo#en& her #oher ha% sai%.
7Ge he# o alk abou se). Make he# $eel co#$orable wih you. /ush he# a lile %eeper every$ew #inues bu le he# know you ain: gonna +u%ge he# $or wha hey say. The #ore ourageous
hey ge& he #ore ourageous you have o be. 5ou %on: have o like wha hey wan o %o or say o
you& bu le he# %o i or say i anyway. :s worh i. Dnce hey have sai% or %one i& hey beco#e
erri$ie% you #igh ell ohers abou he#. Tha:s he power you nee% over he#. @se heir personal
guil agains he# an% i will ge you anyhing you wan.9
(elese ha% use% ha %iabolical a%vice on her sales#an. ,he ha% lure% hi# insi%e by preen%ing o
be inerese% in his wares. ,he sa hi# in he living roo# wih a col% %rink an% hen spille% her own
by 7acci%en9 on her pans an% ha% rippe% o$$ o he be%roo# o change. 3hen she e#erge% she
was wearing a $lare% Ra Ra skir ha was so shor i was in%ecen. *er un%erwear %iscar%e% on herbe%.
,he gave hi# lile gli#pses o$ her se) as she crosse% an% uncrosse% her long s#ooh legs while
siing opposie hi# on he so$a. ,he saw his eyes $ollow he conours o$ her whie highs& up her
skir an% hen wi%en as hey saw wha was hi%%en here. ,he saw hi# swallowing& har%. ,he
observe% he conspicuous& swelling lu#p ening his rousers. ,he wache% hi# slowly lick his lips&
no even aware he was %oing i. was as i$ she coul% see he houghs crossing his #in%E ra#pan&
%esire $ille% houghs ha he %are no uer because o$ social #oors.
*e was hooke%. *e was hungry an% $ull o$ hope ha she #igh sais$y ha hunger. ,he s#ile% a
hi# an% $e% his hope. ;owering her one o$ voice a noch or wo. Dpening her legs& causally& $or
longer an% longer each i#e. was an e)per se%ucion ha she seale% as she le her legs $all wi%eapar as she lean $orwar%s o place her e#py glass on he co$$ee able beween he#. *e looke%.
,he caugh his eye. ,he s#ile%. *e s#ile% back. *e gave he slighes o$ no%sE un%ersan%ing& a
las& ha he show was no acci%en.
*e ha% o$$ere% her a caalogue o look a. *is voice was shaky an% his han%s oo. *is eyes roa#ing
her bo%y as she soo% up. *is #in% %rinking in her shape he way a %runk will gulp %own he $irs
beer o$ he #orning. ,he crosse% he s#all gap beween he# an%& as she ook he vibraing
caalogue $ro# his han%s& he ha% grabbe% her. *is han%s pushing up her skir an% over her bare
backsi%e. *is #ouh burie% beween her legs. *is ongue licking a her like a %og a a srea#. ,he
%roppe% he caalogue o he $loor an% i lan%e% wih a hu#p. *is eyes& $ille% wih graiu%e& looke%
up a her. ,he s#ile% %own a hi#. *ow easy his ha% been. Then she opene% her legs wi%e an%pulle% his hea% an% $ace agains her bo%y in a surge o$ her own $ranic lus.
The se) was urgen. ;us$ul. ,he srippe% hi# o$ all his clohes an% hen re#ove% her blouse an%
bra. Then& sill wearing he shor skir wih is wo rows o$ pink $rills ha ha% so e)cie% Benrigh
when she ha% $irs worn i $or hi#& she le% hi# o he #arriage be% an% coa)e% $ro# hi# every
pervere% $anasy he ha% ever ha%. The %iry alk working like a char#.
*is weakness was pain. *e love% o be hur %uring se) an% she was willing an% rea%y o oblige. ,he
bi hi#. ,he slappe% hi#. ,he kicke% an% punche% hi#. ,he sabbe% hi# wih a ha pin she ha%
grabbe% $ro# her %ressing able ne) o he be%. ,he in$lice% savage pinches& s'ueeCes an% yanks
on his #os sensiive areas an% he love% i. *e was wrihing in pervere% agony beneah her blows
in a #asochisic $renCy o$ passion an% %eligh.*e was like we clay in her han%s. Rea%y o %o anyhing $or her& inclu%ing& aking her away $ro#
his place an% he husban% an% son she hae% so #uch.
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espie her callous #anipulaion& she ha% en+oye% wha he %i% o her in reurn. Things she woul%
never have le any oher #an %o. 3ihou #eaning oo she ha% reveale% her own pervere% %esires
in he #i%s o$ he breahless e)change o$ $anasies& wih hi# Then& in he hea o$ her own passion
she ha% %iscar%e% her $ears an% le hi# go wil% on her bo%y. was $ilhy. /ornographic. isgusing
an% i##ensely e)ciing.
,he %eci%e% o keep hi# a while& like an obe%ien an% %eligh$ul pe. *e ha% #oney enough o
suppor he# boh& was single an% he #a%e her $eel goo%. *e woul% %o& $or now.
3hen he le$ he house he gave her his nu#ber a a Moel an% ol% her o call hi# he $ollowing %ay.
,he ha% soo% here on he porch& her nake%& hi# $ully clohe%. *er han% lingering beween his legs.
*er #ouh wil% an% we on his. *e s#el srongly o$ her. The +uice $ro# her bo%y was all over his.
*er $arewell& lasing en #inues& was inen%e% o keep his lus $or her high enough o re#e#ber her
when he go back o his roo#. ,he knew i woul% work& as she wave% hi# goo%bye as he %rove
away. *e was well an% ruly on her hook.
,he hu##e% o hersel$ as she srippe% he shees $ro# he be% o wash an% hi%e $ro# Benrigh he
evi%ence o$ her a$ernoon o$ in$i%eliy.
:Thank you& Moher: she hough o hersel$ as %roppe% he soile% shees ino he wash ub an% $ille%i wih ho waer.
Benrigh an% Billy ha% racke% he# %own o he Fallborough Gran% Moel& $i$y #iles away uproue ?01& an% beaen he sales#an o wihin an% inch o$ his li$e $or breaking up he $a#ily. Billy
was +us en years ol% back hen bu he coul% use a baseball ba like a pro. *e ha% helpe% bea her
new #an ino unconsciousness. ,he ha% $le% he #oel an% hiche% o her #ohers place. n i#e&
her #oher %ie% an% le$ her he #oney an% she bough his house on he opposie si%e o$ he
#ounain o where she once live% wih Billy an% his /a. an% go a +ob uoring ki%s $alling behin% in
-nglish classes a school.
This ra%io was he only conac she ever ha% wih Billy or his %a%. -ven ha was oo #uch $or her.
They never calle% each oher Ma& son& wi$e or husban%& There was no nee%& even hough she was
sill o$$icially #arrie% o BenrighE he hae was #uual.
Billy began rea%ing his love #essage an% she began +oing i %own on he pa% in $ron o$ her. *is
voice was $alering. -#barrasse%.
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My hear sighs :ill see your $ace again.
Dver.9
(elese ben $orwar%s again an% clicke% he buon on he Mic.
7Message receive%& un%ersoo% an% $orwar%ing. ,an%by.9
(elese change% $re'uency on he ra%io an% leane% back in her chair as she swallowe% a %eep
%raugh o$ he corn #ash Moonshine. ,he close% her eyes an% picure% her ki% Billy& siing on his
be% in he roo# she helpe% %ecorae. *er #enal vision o$ he ki%s wise% an% wrong an% $loo%ing
$ro# her bier %elusions. ,he picure% he #icrophone cluche% in hose big han%s o$ his. *e was
probably rying har% o picure his girl$rien% nake%. *or#ones running rio in his hea% an% sen%ing
pornographic #essages o his eenage loins. *e woul% be saring a he ra%io speaker waiing $or i
o ell hi# he #essage ha% been receive% an% he shoul% san% by $or he reply. ,he grinne% o
hersel$. was i#e o each Billy boy a lesson. was ar#a %ay. Ti#e o pay $or pas sins.
(elese raise% he #icrophone o her lips wihou opening her eyes. burs o$ su%%en saic an% hen he $ain voice o$ he young girl.
7This is Jane calling Fallbeck relay. Receiving you lou% an% clear. /lease procee% wih your
#essage. >re you receiving #e Dver9
(elese clicke% again. 7Fallbeck relay calling Jane. Fallbeck relay calling Jane. a# receiving you.
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/lease san%by o ake %own your #essage. Dver.9
The $ain voice calle% again. 7*ello Fallbeck relay. *ello Fallbeck relay. Rea%y o ake %own
#essage an% san%ing by. Dver.9
(elese re$ille% her glass wih he clear& $iery li'uor hen %raine% i again in $our huge gulps be$ore
$illing he all glass once #ore.
: is a wo#an:s privilege o bare a gru%ge&: she hough o hersel$. : re#e#ber every sab o$ pain
$el as you an% your /a bea up #y #an in he hoel roo#. re#e#ber every nigh crie% alone in
his house a$erwar%s. a#n i re#e#ber every ear. >ll wane% was so#eone o ake #e away
$ro# his shiy #ounain an% hese shiy& s#all& backwoo%s owns. wane% o ravel. To see
>#erica. 3ho knows& #aybe even see he worl%. wane% o be so#eone. wane% o be #ore han
+us anoher %a#ne% housewi$e an% #oher. wane% o be $ree. wane% o be wil%. wane%.....:
,he %rank anoher large swallow.
:H...o be #e. To be $ree o$ $ee%ing chickens. ,crubbing clohes. (uing woo% $or he sove.
(ooking #eals. *aving se) wih a #an hae%. Bringing up a %a#n ki% hae%& in a house hae%.
>ll he i#e was suppose% o be grae$ul ha #y husban% worke% har% o $ee% an% clohe us.:
,he %rank so#e #ore an% sare% a he ra%ios be$ore her.
:3ell& was no grae$ul. hae% every %a#n #inue o$ i. $el srangle% by i. $ Benrigh ha% +us
gone o war an% go kille% like so #any oher husban%s i woul% have been $ine& bu he ha% a
ga##y leg an% hey woul%n: ake hi#. Basar%s live% $or everyone bu #e. ,o change% i an%
you scu# bags spoil i. 5ou ruine% #y new li$e. 5ou %esroye% #y escape. 3ell& Billy8boy an%
Benrigh& o%ay is my%ay. To%ay you pay& like pai%.:
(elese $orce% hersel$ o breah evenly unil her racing #in% cal#e% %own an% he surging $ury in
her belly subsi%e%. ,he paine% a s#ile ono her voice he way hose wo#en in he Movie >%:s %o
an% she spoke so$ly as she relaye% Billy:s poe# o his love& weny $our #iles away& %own he oher
si%e o$ he #ounain an% $ar along he $erile valley $loor. ,he was co#pleely unaware o$ he
slurring in her voice as she %i% so. ,he was always unaware o$ her own $auls. -veryhing ba% wasalways so#eone else:s $aul. Mosly& he $aul o$ #en.
Billy sa on his be% wih his eyes $i)e% on he lou% speaker connece% o he ra%io. :s glea#ing&
brown Bakelie case = lovingly polishe% every %ay = re$lece% he yellow glow o$ he ra%io valves.
The black speaker grill& hol%ing boh pro#ise an% %rea% when i ne) ca#e o li$e& sare% back a
hi# in silence.
*e love% ,arah. *e knew he %i%. ,he consu#e% his waking an% sleeping houghs like nohing else
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ha% ever %one be$ore. *e ha% been in love wih her since he was welve an% hey ha% #e a he
couny $air when hey share% a sea on he Ferris 3heel. ,he ha% been $righene% by he heigh an%
he ha% cluche% her hea% o his ches ighly an% whispere% reassuring wor%s in her ears unil he
ri%e was over an% hey coul% sep back ono soli% groun% again.
,he ha% re#ble% all hrough ha ri%e like a +uvenile bir% $allen $ro# a nes& an% she $el $ragile inhis young& srong ar#s. >s hey walke% away $ro# he ri%e ogeher& hey were hol%ing han%s. They
spen he whole o$ he res o$ ha long ,u##er %ay in each ohers co#pany. ;aughing& playing&
easing& chasing. >s he %ay ha% urne% ino %arkness hey ha% sneake% heir $irs kiss an% she ha%
locke% hersel$ ino his hear wih hose so$ an% yiel%ing young lips.
Billy ha% rie% o ell ,arah ha he love% her #any i#es. *e +us coul% never $in% he righ wor%s&
or his courage %esere% hi# in a $i o$ nerves a he wrong #o#en. was no ha he was a$rai% o
say he wor%s. *e was a$rai% o$ wha i#pac he wor%s #igh have on ,arah. 3ha i$ she re+ece%
hi# ;ove is a serious business. ,arah was no goo% a serious. ,he ha% a weak #in% ha coul% no
hol% ono co#ple) hings. Billy knew ha. *e ha% always ha% o %o he hinking $or boh o$ he#when hey were ogeher. 3ha i$ he very i%ea o$ his love scare% her away
Billy chewe% his boo# lip an% screwe% up his eyes as he sare% a he speaker grill. *e was
scraching a an i#aginary ich on his righ ar# as his le$ leg bounce% up an% %own on he ball o$
his le$ $oo wih no conscious e$$or o$ his own an% co#pleely unnoice%. Billy wane% he speaker
o speak. 3illing i o say ha she love% hi# oo. *e hae% ha she woul% say i hough his e)
#oher& bu ha was beer han no hearing i a all. D$ course& i$ she sai% no& she %i% no wan his
love& he suspece% his e) #oher = up here in her vultures nest& as he an% his %a% calle% her ho#e =
woul% be very happy o know he was so #iserable. *e coul% no bare he hough o$ her saying no.
,arah was his li$e. *is $uure. *e wane% o see her s#ile an% hear ha so$ voice every %ay&$orever.
*is nervousness was increase% by he knowle%ge ha anyone wih a ra%io wihin $i$y #iles woul%
also be able o hear his $alering #essage o$ love. *e i#agine% he# laughing hi# o scorn in heir
houses& rucks an% cars. They #igh also hear her re+ecion o$ hi# i$ ha happene%. an% ha woul%
be har% o bare oo. -specially when he was back a school a$er he ,u##er recess. Mario Falconi
woul% be he wors o$ he bunch& he always was& bu ha was D& Billy %eci%e%. The las i#e hey
ha% $ough a school Billy ha% al#os won he $igh. Mario was bigger an% heavier bu he was also
slow an% Billy coul% %ance aroun% hi# an% pick hi# o$$. Mario only won he $igh las i#e
because Billy go careless an% wen oo close. Dnce Mario:s ar#s were aroun% his ches i was allover $or Billy.
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o prepare he able $or he sew he an% his /a woul% be having $or heir evening #eal an% $ill he
washing bowl on is san% in he corner o$ he kichen wih $resh& clean waer& pu#pe% $ro# he well
ou back.
Billy s#ile% as he re#e#bere% a conversaion $ro# he las i#e he an% ,arah spen he %ay
ogeher.
7Billy ,he ha% aske%& as hey sa by he (onning Brook Far# srea# on he e%ge o$ own an%
wache% he #innows %aring in he curren. 7Billy& #y %a%%y sai% las nigh ha he loves ;a#b
sew. o hey #ake la#b sew ou o$ real la#bs or ari$icial la#bs ,ee& #y #u##y #akes la#b
sew $ro# a can an% he can is oo s#all o $i a la#b in i. can: see how i coul% be real la#bs.9
*er re#ark ha% aken hi# o$$ guar%.
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7There has never been a hu#an wrier ha coul% ouch Go%&9 his /a woul% say. 7 have rea% #any
o$ he so8calle% grea wriers. $er ha i was nohing bu re%& grey& yellow& black an%
whie un%ulaing an% +agge% rock. > $ew shrubs #anage% o grow here an% here bu nohing
serious. :s $la op was o$en obscure% by clou%& even in he ,u##er. n 3iner& i was always
snow covere%. *is e) #oher:s house was hree housan% $ee %own he oher si%e an% buil on a
huge& wi%e le%ge& bu shelere% un%er a #assive overhang. Dn he very su##i was a one hun%re%
$ee all anenna ower his /a ha% buil an% which house% he anennas ha his e) #ohers ra%ios
were aache% oo. *is /a ha% buil hose ra%ios also bu he couny ha% insalle% he# in her house.
*is /a ha% $la ou re$use% o so %o.
,o#ei#es& when he sun was righ in he sky an% he air was clear an% a souh win% was blowing
righ& a rising her#al woul% carry waer %roples high ino he air an% a rainbow woul% $or#
hal$way up he #ounain an% si) #iles %own he valley. was cause% by he high $alls ha %roppe%
over heir waer8cu le%ge nearly $our hun%re% $ee o Becks /ool below. To a sranger& he sigh
woul% be breah aking. The local people rie% har% o pay i no #in%. was +us anoher sain on
heir #e#ories an% on he prisine #ounain. > sain cause% by his e) #oher:s $a#ily.
,o#e hough ha his e) #oher:s $aher& (olber avison& ha% $allen %own he $alls by acci%en.
Many #ore hough he ha% +u#pe% o his %eah on purpose. *is wi$e& an% Billy:s #aernal gran%
#oher& was a nasy bich. Free wih her punches an% no a%verse o using whaever weapon wascloses o han% on her husban%& i$ he %isplease% her in any way. ispleasing her was he easies
hing o %o in he worl%. ,he ha% a ongue like a rale snake bie an% a #in% o #ach.
3hen her %augher ha% run away o be wih Billy:s %a%& she ha% co#e a$er her an% punche% Billy:s
%a% in he $ace as he rie% o proec his e) #oher. was a big #isake. Billy:s /a ha% no been
groun% %own he way Billy:s Gran%pa ha% been. *e ha% hi her wih le$ righ co#binaion punches
ha were so $as she never saw he# happen. ,he wen %own like a cheap whore in a parking lo.
Tha was he las i#e she ever spoke o any o$ Billy:s $a#ily. Dne year laer& an% on a %ay when he
rainbow ha% co#e& Billy:s Gran%pa& (olber& ha% gone o$$ he $alls. The coroner sai% he ha% wo
black eyes an% a broken nose ha were no cause% by his $all bu ha% been in$lice% be$ore his%eah. -veryone coul% guess where hey ha% co#e $ro#& hough his wi$e& as ever& swore she %i% no
know. Many hough ha was he reason he ha% +u#pe% = i$ he ha% = $ro# he $allsE i was a sha#e
oo $ar an% #uch oo har% o bare.
Growing up& Billy:s %a% woul% ell hi#& 7,on. n%
never le a wo#an %rive your hea% o he $alls.9
The valley Billy live% in ha% an al#os per$ec cli#ae in ,u##er. -ven on he hoes %ays when
he res o$ he counry was swelering in he hea& cool air $alling %own he #ounain slope woul%keep he e#peraure o bearable levels. Dnly he house woul% ge really ho an% on hose %ays Billy
an% his /a woul% sleep ou on he porch. The house go ho because his /a kep he roo$ paine%
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black.
7The snow haes black9 *is /a woul% ell hi#. Tha was he reason hey ha% paine% he bri%ge over
he river in black pain. see#e% o work. The black absorbe% he hea $ro# he sun an% air an% he
snow $oun% i har% o sele on any black sur$ace. 3hen oher people in he valley ha% o shovel
snow o$$ heir roo$ in 3iner o sop heir houses $alling %own un%er he weigh o$ i& Billy an% his/a never %i% because he snow never suck. The bri%ge over he river was al#os never blocke% by
%ri$s an% was he $irs o clear i$ i was. Dn he %own si%e& he house coul% ge unbearable in he
,u##er& bu sleeping on he porch was a nice hing o %o.
7Fallbeck Relay calling TarCan. Fallbeck Relay calling TarCan. ,chan% by $or your re...& replysh
$ro# Jane. Dver.9
Billy sho up $ro# he swing sea an% ran o he be%roo#. *is hear poun%ing as i$ he ha% +us run a
#arahon. Too e)cie% o regiser he %runkenness in he voice calling hi#& he snache% up he#icrophone an% urne% he volu#e swich back %own o a nor#al level.
*e spoke rapi%ly& an)iously& al#os shouing& ino he #icrophone.
7TarCan calling Fallbeck Relay. TarCan calling Fallbeck Relay. Go ahea% Fallbeck Relay. Dver.9
,arah McenCie was seae% a he able wih her #oher by her si%e an% wearing he black& spi%ery
paerne%& Bakelie hea%phones ha were plugge% ino he ra%io. ,arlingly prey& wih hair ha
$ell o her shoul%ers an% u#ble% %own he back o$ her Royal Blue %ress& like a corn coloure%
waer$all. *er $ine& s#all nose cenre% beween clear& big& innocen looking viole coloure% eyes& se
above high cheekbones ha were a legacy $ro# her Gran%#oher:s >pache bloo% line. ,he ha% a
'uick s#ile an% an easy laugh ha reveale% per$ecly even an% whie eeh. ,he was a swee naure%
as a $iel% #ouse. ,he looke% over o her #oher an% s#ile%. *er #oher& s'ueeCing her han% in
response an% s#iling back a her.
For ,arah an% her #oher Molly& his was a %aily rouine. *er #oher was no here o spy or
iner$ere. ,he never aske% he #eanings o$ he co%es her %augher an% Billy e)change%& $or
e)a#ple. ,he knew young people nee%e% o be privae so#ei#es an% she ruse% her %augher an%
like% Billy. ,he knew $ull well ha #any o$ he co%es Billy an% ,arah were e)changing were se)ual
in naure bu ha %i% no boher her eiher. ,he ha% alrea%y ha% 7he alk9 wih her %augher an%
,arah knew all abou prophylacics an% cycles. ,he ha% e)plaine% o her %augher ha se) was
won%er$ul an% nohing o be asha#e% o$& bu ha one ha% o be %iscree an% very care$ul.
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Molly ha% rie% sen%ing ,arah up he #ounain o ge e)ra privae uoring by (elese bu i ha% no
worke% ou. ,arah ha% co#plaine% ha (elese was always %runk an% ba% e#pere% an% ha she
%i% no $eel sa$e or co#$orable wih her. >s a resul& Molly ha% aken on he ask o$ helping her
wih her rea%ing an% wriing an% ha% seen enough o$ an i#prove#en in her %augher o keep i up
$ull i#e an% ho#e school her.
*o#e schooling ,arah ha% so#e %isa%vanages. was very har% work $or boh o$ he#. *owever&
i also ha% an une)pece% an%& $ro# Molly:s poin o$ view& a %elicious a%vanage.
*er husban%& Roy& ha% sare% a $urniure business +us be$ore ,arah was born& an% i was %oing very
well. Molly use% o work wih hi# as his personal secreary unil she ha% #a%e he %ecision o
school ,arah a ho#e a$er she was #ercilessly bullie% a school $or $alling so $ar behin% in her
classes. This siuaion o$ course& #ean ha Roy was $orce% o hire anoher personal secreary.
> week a$er leaving her +ob& Molly reurne% o her ol% o$$ice one a$ernoon o pick up one or wohings she nee%e% a ho#e an% as she walke% ino he o$$ice she was greee% by he sigh o$ her
husban%:s new& young an% beaui$ul secreary& laying nake%& ar#s an% legs aki#bo& leaking sper#
an% looking like a crashe% helicoper on he o$$ice carpe. *er husban%& e'ually nake%& ha% his back
o her an% was san%ing a his %esk %oing a business %eal on he elephone. %esire #ore power$ul han anyhing she ha% ever $el
be$ore. The orgas# ha $ollowe% was so inense& an% so lou%& ha i brough her = now soberly%resse% = husban%& bursing ino he la%ies res roo#& hal$ convince% ha so#eone was #ur%ering
his wi$e. By he i#e he le$ ha sall again& he ha% e)perience% he secon% #os a#aCing se) in his
li$e& an% he bigges ever con$usion in his #in%& all in one %ay.
ranspire%& hrough subse'uen $rank an% open %iscussions wih Roy over he ne) wo %ays& ha
'uie& %ui$ul& har% working an% %e%icae% Molly& harboure% a previously unrealise% voyeurisic
sreak as wi%e as he Mississippi river an% +us as power$ul. The resul was& ha Roy& #uch o his
a#aCe% %eligh& go o have o se) wih los o$ %i$$eren wo#en while Molly wache%& unil she
coul% san% i no longer an% ha% o +oin in.
The people o$ Fenne#ore noice% o$ course& ha Roy was losing weigh rapi%ly an% ha% a
per#anen grin on his $ace. They also noice% ha lile& sli#& %e#ure Molly McenCie see#e% o
have los en years in ageE was %ressing #ore se)ily ha she ever ha% be$ore an% ha she ha% a
%rea#y air o$ new con$i%ence abou her ha no one coul% e)plain. The people o$ Fenne#ore coul%
no have guesse% why.
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knowle%ge o$ se) was as grea as her own& hanks o he #agaCines. was a knowle%ge she longe%
o pu ino pracice wih Billy. ,he also ha% a new a %eep respec $or her #oher. ,he ha% always
love% her& bu his %iscovery ha% opene% a new an% hi%%en knowle%ge abou her #oher ha ,arah
co#pleely approve% o$.
> lou% an% inny voice in her hea%phones caugh ,arah:s wan%ering aenion an% she presse% he#closer o her ears. was (elese& calling ou a relay $ro# her #ounain perch as she %i% #os every
%ay a his i#e.
7Messhage $or Jane $ro# TarCan. Jane& %o you copy Fallbeck relay Dver9
7This is Jane calling Fallbeck relay. Receiving you lou% an% clear. /lease procee% wih your
#essage. >re you receiving #e Dver9
(elese spoke again. *er voice soun%ing o%%ly slurre% bu so$ an% happy. ,arah knew insanly ha
(elese was %runk.
7Fallbeck calling Jane. Fallbeck calling Jane. a# resheiving you. /lease san%by o ake %own
your #esshage. Dver.9
,arah replie%. 7*ello Fallbeck relay. *ello Fallbeck relay. Rea%y o ake %own #essage an%
san%ing by. Dver.9
7This is Fallbeck relay& #esshage $ro# TarCan o Jane rea%s as $ollows
7 love you like a shegull loves he ocean.
love you like a sor# clou% loves he rain.
love you wih a hear $ull o$ %evoshun.
My hear shighs :ill she your $ashe again.
/lease acknowle%ge reshee o$ he #esshage. Dver.9
>s was ,arah:s habi& she ha% repeae% ou lou%& wor% $or wor%& as he #essage was relaye% o her.
*er #oher wriing he wor%s %own on he pa% on he able.
,arah& Molly& young girls an% wo#en o$ all ages up an% %own he valley on ,arah:s si%e o$ he
#ounain& $el ears spring o heir eyes as hey hear% he #essage $ro# TarCan o Jane co#e
hrough heir ra%ios. Men sa wih waer covere% eyes in rucks& cars an% ho#es. ,o#e kisse% heir
crying& happy wives. ,o#e +us sare% ino he %isance& perhaps re#e#bering #o#ens $ro# heiryouh when love ha% also grippe% heir hears an% le% he# o poery. 5oung #en sniggere%
#ockingly wih a %isgus hey knew was $alse an% was invene% o hi%e he e#oions rising like Dl%
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Faih$ul in heir own chess.
Dnly an)ious Billy was sill ignoran o$ he e$$ecs o$ his wor%s on he wo co##uniies.
,arah was gripping he #icrophone as i$ her li$e %epen%e% on no leing i go. *er $ace was ear
saine% an% her voice hick wih e#oion as she replie%.
7*ello Fallbeck relay. *ello Fallbeck relay. Message o TarCan $ro# Jane. love you oo TarCan.
love you wih all #y hear.9
,he ha% o sop. ll along ,arah:s valley people whoope% an% cheere%. ,o#e raise% glasses o$ whiskey or boles o$
beer in salue o he young lovers. ,o#e poun%e% on seering wheels an% blew he horns in %eligh
a Jane:s answer o TarCan. ,o#e people +us crie%. Dhers s#ile%& an% one couple %ance% ou o$
heir house& laughing ogeher& an% walCe% along he si%e walk un%er he be#use% gaCes o$ hose
no in he know. These were hose who ha% $ollowe% TarCan an% Jane:s burgeoning ra%io love li$e
$or years& as i$ i were a real li$e soap opera. Many o$ he# ha% beco#e e)per co%e breakers.
/rising ou o$ heir own ki%s he #eanings o$ he secre phrases TarCan an% Jane use%& an% swearing
hose ki%s o uer secrecy upon pain o$ he worl%s longes be%roo# lock8in i$ hey reveale% o
anyone ha heir parens ha% broken he co%e. Boh ,arah an% Billy were oblivious o all o$ his& o$
course.
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hose ra%ios ino o #ake a relay saion. was also har%er o ge a. Drville ha% buil i where i
was becausei was har% o ge a.
Drville was a #an who like% #os people& he +us like% he# a a %isance. *e en+oye% his soliu%e
bu his ra%ios kep hi# in ouch wih wha was going on an% allowe% hi# o choose who o alk o
an% when. n owns& ha was no possible. n owns you ha% o be polie o everyone. -ven hosecriers you can: san%. Drville ha% no ruck wih he wo $ace% naure o$ i all. n his way o$
hinking& i$ you hae% a crier you shoul% say soE hen eiher shoo i& spi a i& or ignore i. 5ou
shoul%n: have o shake is %a#n paws an% s#ile an% say goo% #ornin: o i.
Drville:s ra%io was a $ine rig. *e ha% bough i $ro# an ar#y Ma+or he ha% aken on a bear hun
long ago& an% he ha% goen i $or a seal. The %arne% anenna on his roo$ cos #ore han he pai% $or
he ra%io $ro# he grae$ul Ma+or& bu i was a power$ul se. cranke% ou wo hun%re% 3as o$
power a $ull blas& an% +us one 3a in is lowes power seing. was a big& heavy ra%io& ha he
ar#y ha% use% $ro# is co##an% *I on various bale$iel%s %uring he war. ,o big& he ha% o
ranspor i up he #ounain on his #ule a lile bi a a i#e an% hen pu i all back ogeher once heha% i up here. was worh i hough& apar $ro# blowing an occasional valve& i ha% never given a
#o#ens rouble. >n%& i was a %ual ban% se& +us as (elese:s ra%ios were. Tha was how he was
able o hear TarCan an% Jane calling Fallbeck Relay. *e +us ha% o se he $re'uencies on each ban%
an% hen $lip ha ol% ban% swich beween he wo.
3hen Drville hear% Jane:s reply o TarCan he se abou whoopin: an% hollerin: +us like #os
everybo%y else ha hear% i. ;ike #os oher $olks& Drville ha% %one his celebraing in his own
peculiar way. Though i is $air o say i %i$$ere% $ro# oher $olks in a leas one respec. Firs he
kisse% his ol% %og& ,huup = so na#e% because as a pup i barke% non sop a every lile noise. Then
he playe% a counry song on his ban+o as he %ance% his own invene% seps across his cabin $loor.>ll he while yelling& 5eee *aaa:s a he op o$ his ol% lungs. Then he rushe% ousi%e an% soo% on
he $la rock behin% he cabin an% ai#e% a +e o$ piss %own he $ive housan% $oo %rop o he ouris
rail below. /issing on ouriss $ro# a grea heigh %uring high ,u##er& being so#ewha o$ a hobby
o$ his.
The ouriss gui%es all knew he %i% i an% woul% hang back on he rail unil i was over o avoi%
being splashe% he#selves. They woul% ell ine)perience% an% gullible ouriss no o worry& i was
+us& 7-agles pissing on he# o scare he# o$$.9 Drville %i% no like ouriss liering he place up on
:his: #ounain. *e woul% san% here on he $la rock& pecker in one han% an% binoculars in he oher&
sen%ing yellow spurs o$ piss hrough he air a his arges below. *is bes vici#s being he onesha were %u#b enough o keep looking up& hoping o spo he -agle. *e woul% ry an% give he#
%u##ies a $ree $ace wash. n en years he ha% only been spoe% once an% ha was by an ol% $ar
who happene% o have a pair o$ binoculars o$ her own. ,he ha% aken cover un%er a ree an% hen
$allen o he $loor in a heap o$ blue Gingha# %ress an% howls o$ laugher as Drville:s naural organic
shower peppere% he oher #e#bers o$ her group.
7 shoul%a propose% o ha ol% bi%%y&9 he ol% -%%y& one o$ he our gui%es& when he saw hi# in
own a #onh laer. 7,he was #y kin%a people. ,he knew how o ake a +oke an% keep her #ouh
shu abou i.9
7Tha:s goo% a%vice o give #y ouriss.9 -%%y ha% sai%.
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73ha is9 Drville sai%.
7$ you are goin: a look up $or he -agles& keep your #ouh shu.9
@p on he #ounain in her nes& (elese Mo)on was anyhing bu oblivious. ,he knew hu#an naure
very well an% she knew ha he people in he valleys wih ra%ios were aware o$ hese ki%s an%
woul% be $ollowing heir sory closely. ,he knew he ki%s coul% beco#e insan sars a$er swearing
heir love $or each oher an% she inen%e% o seal heir li#eligh an% keep i $orever.
,he looke% %runkly %own a ,arah:s reurn #essage on her pa% an% reache% $or he #icrophone
again. The #oonshine was alking a $ir# hol% o$ her now.
77Message re...& resheeve%& un%er = un%ershoul% an% $orwar%ing. Dver an: ou.9
,arah noice% he increasing slurring in he voice in her earphones an% worrie% ha her reurn
#essage #igh never be relaye% o Billy. ,he was righ o be worrie%. Billy never %i% ge he
#essage.
Benrigh Mo)on was over he wors par o$ his rip %own he #ounain& an% hrough he gaps in he
rees here an% here& he coul% see he whie walls an% black roo$ o$ he single sory house he ha%
buil in he #i%%le o$ he green #ea%ow& sill $ar below. > hin wisp o$ s#oke curling $ro# he
chi#ney. *e knew Billy was $i)ing o cook his %inner an% a sha$ o$ love $or his boy $lashe%
hrough his hear.
>par $ro# he $oun%aions an% he $ireplace ha were #a%e o$ sone& everyhing else abou ha
ho#e was #a%e o$ #ounain /ine& inclu%ing he $urniure. was a goo% house an% a nice bighouse. *e ha% buil i o raise a $a#ily in.
(elese ha% kille% ha %rea# an% Benrigh curse% he ba% choice he ha% #a%e when he $ell in love
wih her. ,he ha% hi%%en her rue sel$ well an% i ha%n: e#erge% $ro# is nice girl ca#ou$lage unil
a $ew #onhs a$er heir we%%ing on he nigh she ol% hi# ha he only reason she ha% #arrie%
hi#& was o ge away $ro# her #oher.
Benrigh shu%%ere% a he #e#ories as he always %i% when hey ca#e back o haun hi#. *e coul%
see her clearly in his #in%& as i$ i ha% happene% yeser%ay& ben%ing over hi# an% screa#ing ino his
$ace. *er spile peppering his skin. *er voice har%& vicious& an% her eyes %ea%. *er $ace wise% up
ino a sickening #ask o$ pure hae. was on he sa#e #orning he ha% opene% he leer $ro# he
>r#y elling hi# hey %i% no wan hi#& back in >pril :44.
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7 hae you Benrigh Mo)on. hae his ki% in #y belly. hae his house. 5ou won: keep #e here.
use% you& you $ool. use% you o ge away $ro# #y #oher& ha is all& an% you were %u#b enough
o help #e %o i.9
The wor%s ha% hi his hear like a ha##er an% his love $or her ha% shaere% un%er he#. There wasnohing le$ in her o keep i alive. *is wi$e ha% beco#e a scorpion.
75ou %i%n: #ake i.9 *e ol% her.
7Make wha9
75our escape $ro# your #oher.9
,he ha% sneere% ino his $ace. 7 a# here ain: 9
Benrigh ha% risen $ro# he %ining able an% walke% ou ono he porch. >s he passe% hrough he
screen %oor he soppe% an% urne% his hea% o look a her over his shoul%er.
75ou brough ha ol% wich wih you. ,he:s in your hear an% you will never escape her an% where
you go& she will go. 5our #oher has possesse% you (elese an% in i#e& she will kill you& bu will
#ake %a#n sure she %oesn: kill any o$ us. pro#ise you his hough (elese& i$ you ever %oanyhing o har# #y chil%& he worl% will no be big enough $or you o hi%e in an% will kill you
wih #y own wo han%s& even i$ swing $or i.9
was a pro#ise he was o $in% he coul% no keep& bu he prophecy was rue.
7:s our chil% Benrigh. Durs on: you ever $orge ha.9 (elese ha% screa#e% back a hi#.
Benrigh:s eyes ha% blaCe% like har% $ire bu his voice was so$.
7
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wih Billy an% killing he raging hunger in his belly wih one o$ Billy:s $ine sews. >noher %ays
goo% work %one. >noher %ays pay earne%.
*is le$ high was sen%ing +agge% bols o$ pain o his brain bu Benrigh ignore% he#. 3hen he
pain go oo #uch he woul% res. @nil hen he woul% carry on as he always carrie% on. :s wha
#en %o& hey carry on.
3hen ha %arn li#b ha% snappe% $ro# he $alling ree he ha% cu %own an% s#ashe% ino his high
bone& breaking i in $ive places& i ha% also rippe% an% orn he #uscles in his high o shre%s. The
hospial ha% $i)e% he bone. They ha% sewn he #uscles an% en%ons back ino place bu hey coul%
no $i) he orn nerves.
Benrigh hough he acci%en o his leg was Go%:s punish#en $or haing his wi$e. The Bible sai% o
love your ene#ies& bu Benrigh +us coul% no %o ha. *e ha% rie%. *e really ha%. *e even alke%
o /asor Bur a he :Jesus ;ives Bapis (hurch&: in >n%erson. *e aske% hi# howo $orgive. *ow iworks an% wha you have odo o #ake i work.
Benrigh ha% calle% in o see ol% /asor Bur on his way o pay (elese:s ho#e wrecker a visi a he
#oel. was no har% o rack her %own& -llen Blake worke% he own swichboar%. %i% no ake
#uch persuasion o ge her o ell hi# ha she ha% connece% (elese:s call $ro# he local %rug sore
o her #an a he Moel. -llen ha% lisene% in as he new #an in (elese:s li$e ha% ol% her he was
saying a he #oel $or he ne) hree %ays on a business rip bu ha a$erwar%s& he woul% ake her
o (ali$ornia wih hi#.
7Benrigh& he ol% /asor ha% sai%& clasping one o$ Benrigh:s shoul%ers in his big han% an% looking
hi# sraigh in he eye& you have o wanto $orgive her. Tha:s he $irs sep. 3ha reco##en%
people o %o is his when she co#es o #in% an% you $eel your gus churning wih bierness an%
hae& pray $or her. Righ hen an% here boy = %on: leave i unil laer so i has i#e o grow = %o i
righ hen an% here. >sk Go% o $orgive her an% hen ell *i# ha& %espie wha you $eel in your
gus& you $orgive her oo. works boy& bu you have o work ati. n i#e you will$orgive her an%
she will sop co#ing o #in% all wrappe% up in your $ury. :s no no $ree ri%e. Jesus says ha i$ you
%o no $orgive you canno be $orgiven. 5ou have o have a willing hear. o you have a willing
hear Benrigh Tha:s he 'uesion. :s a willing hear ha Go% loves.9
Benrigh ha% no answere% he /asors 'uesion. *e knew he answer an% he knew he /asor knew
i oo. Benrigh %i% notwan o $orgive (elese. *e wane% Go% o punish her. To bea her %own. To
sen% her ino hell $or %esroying his li$e an% he $a#ily he always wane%. For ruining Billy:s li$e
oo. :,he :s a wich *e ha% hough& >n evil& sel$ish wichE +us like her #oher ha% been. ,he
%eserves o burn in hell.:
>s Benrigh ha% urne% away $ro# he /asor he hear% hi# call ou in his %eep an% boo#ing&
preaching voice.
7Beware o$ pri%e an% bierness& Benrigh. They will conspire ogeher o kill everyhing you love.
They are he %evils brew. on: %rink $ro# hose cups or you will rue he %ay you %i%.9
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Benrigh swung his a)e an% burie% is bla%e ino an ol% su#p ne) o he rail& hen he sa %own
heavy wih weariness besi%e i. >uo#aically& his le$ han% rubbe% his pain$ul high. Trying o
#assage he pain ou o$ i. > new ol% #e#ory assaule% his #in%.
*e saw hi#sel$ siing on he en% o$ he long har% bench in he green an% crea# paine% hospialcorri%or ousi%e he %elivery roo#s on he nigh Billy was born. There were hree oher e)pecan
$ahers here wih hi#. They kep saring a hi# an% his $ace was burning wih sha#e as his gus
boile% wih a rage he was sruggling o conrol. They coul% all hear her. a##i -veryone in he
couny coul% hear her.
7Ge i ou o$ #e. Ge his roen ki% ou o$ #e. hae i9
Benrigh ha% pu his ha on an% pulle% i low over his $ace. *e was rying o hi%e his sha#e an%
anger $ro# he oher $ahers. *is han%s ha% beraye% hi# hough. They ha% balle% he#selves inorock igh $iss in his lap.
(elese was shouing again. The #e#ory sabbing a his hear like a ho kni$e.
7 hope i:s %ea%. hope i:s born cripple%. o you hear #e Benrigh hope i:s %ea%9
Then she screa#e% in pain an% Benrigh hear% a baby howling shorly a$er.
The $aher siing ne) o hi# on he bench reache% over an% ouche% his ar# in sy#pahy.
7:s no #y place o alk ba% abou anoher #an:s wi$e an% or%inarily woul%n:& bu you have go
an evil bich here an% you bes ge ri% o$ her.9
For a #o#en Benrigh ha% $el a surge o$ hae so power$ul rise up wihin hi# ha he wane% o
poun% he speaker ino he $loor. *e al#os %i%& bu he sill ha% enough reason in his #in% o ell
hi# ha his sranger was si#ply speaking he ruh. Benrigh was no a person o hi a #an $orspeaking he ruh. ,o he sa here& saying nohing. ,ilenly en%uring he sha#e an% he rage unil a
nurse appeare% an% ook hi# ino an o$$ice %own he corri%or.
75ou have a healhy baby son. ,even poun%s si) ounces. (ongraulaions&9 she sai%. ,he was
s#iling up a hi#. > %u#py lile re% hea% nurse +us %oing her +ob bu happy ha he ha% beco#e a
$aher.
Then she %roppe% her voice o a %iscree whisper. 7 a# sorry abou his #oher. 3ill he baby be
D wih her :s +us ha....9
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Benrigh cu her o$$.
7:s D nurse& hank you. My siser Mary is going o ake care o$ hi#. ,he #ove% ino he house
o%ay an% will pick he baby up in he #orning. >s you hear%& his #oher is no a $i an% proper
person o raise #y son.9
The nurse ook one o$ his han%s in boh o$ hers. 7Maybe i:s +us %epression. > lo o$ new #ohers
su$$er %epression when hey have a chil%.9
Benrigh ha% shaken his hea%. 7 lile presen $ro# her #oher. There ain: no curing ha because she %on: wanna be cure%. ,he
likes he co#pany.9
The nurse no%%e% sa%ly. 7 will pray $or you boh&9 she sai%. Then she a%%e%& 73ha are you callinghe boy
7Billy.9 Benrigh sai%. 7>$er #y /a. *e was a goo% #an.9
The nurse s#ile% an% wroe he na#e %own on her pocke pa%. 7Billy i is hen.9
>s hey urne% o leave he o$$ice Benrigh ook a hol% o$ her ar#.
7/ro#ise #e so#ehing. /ro#ise #e you will no give he baby o her. There is no elling wha she
#igh %o o hi#.9
7 won:.9 The nurse sai%& 7 will leave a #essage wih he nurse who akes over $ro# #e when #y
shi$ is over& also. on: worry.9
7/ro#ise #e.9 Benrigh insise%.
7,he s#ile% a hi#. 7 pro#ise. 5ou have #y wor%.9
,ais$ie%& Benrigh ha% release% her ar# an% hen walke% ou o$ he o$$ice an% he hospial $or he
hour long %rive ho#e. *e #a%e no e$$or o see his wi$e. *e %i% no care how she was %oing.
Mary saye% looking a$er Billy unil a week a$er (elese ha% aken o$$ wih her $ancy #an. ha%
been a har% en years $or her a Billy:s house. (elese los no opporuniy o ell her how #uch she
hae% all o$ he#& bu Benrigh re$use% o pu his wi$e ou.
7 bough he package& have o look a$er i.9 *e woul% say. *e ook his #arriage vows very
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seriously.
Mary:s own husban% was kille% in a %og$igh over France a$er voluneering o $ly wih he R>F
early in he war. *e was a (ana%ian an% he $el he ha% o be %oing so#ehing. Dher (ana%ians
were going overseas o he war& he coul% no bare o say behin%& no #aer how #uch Mary begge%
hi#.
Mary was grae$ul when Benrigh aske% her o look a$er he new baby. gave her so#ehing else
o $ocus on& oher han he pain o$ her Frank:s %eah& bu she was relieve% when Benrigh ca#e back
$ro# he #oel wihou (elese.
7,he %one le$ us. par $ro# he bir%s calling an% he soun% o$ an unseen %eer
chewing is $oo%& all was 'uie.
pai% o ry an% say aler on he #ounain. There were cougars an% bears ha roa#e% aroun% on i.
,nakes oo. Mosly& hey kep away $ro# $olks& bu you never coul% ell when ha #igh change.Dnly las $all& >lber ,choon%is& a ,we%ish woo% cuer working $urher
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Billy:s call ha% been #e wih a long silence so he rie% again.
7TarCan calling Fallbeck Relay. TarCan calling Fallbeck Relay. Go ahea% Fallbeck Relay. Dver.9
*is ra%io crackle% ino li$e.
7Thish ish Fall... Thish ish Fallbeck Relay& schsan% by o ake %own your #eshage& over.9
Billy snache% up a pencil an% pulle% he wriing pa% closer.
7Fallbeck Relay& Go ahea%& over.9
There was anoher long silence $ro# he ra%io. crack in his hear slowly sprea%ing across i as he #eaning o$ he wor%s on
his pa% crysallise% in his #in% wih increasing clariy. *e grabbe% a he Microphone an% clicke%
he rans#i buon.
7Fallbeck Relay& Fallbeck Relay. This is TarCan. /lease con$ir# las #essage over.9
,ilence.
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7Fallbeck Relay& Fallbeck Relay. This is TarCan. /lease con$ir# las #essage over.9
,ilence.
7Fallbeck Relay. (o#e in Fallbeck Relay. This is TarCan.Please con$ir# las #essage over.9
The silence coninue%. Fallbeck was no going o answer& ha #uch was cerain. Maybe (elese
was %ealing wih anoher call an% ha% swiche% $re'uencies. Billy urne% he $re'uency knob on his
ra%io bu apar $ro# *a#s calling %isan saions& he airwaves were silen. Fallbeck Relay was o$$
he air. *is co##unicaion wih (elese was %ea% an% she was no going o answer his %esperae
calls. *e swiche% he ra%io o$$.
Billy sare% %own a his pa% again. *e was hoping& irraionally& ha so#ehow he wor%s woul%
vanish $ro# his pa%. Tha wha he ha% hear% an% wrien %own was %i$$eren o wha he ha% houghwas here an% which were now crowbarring he crack in his hear wi%e open. The pain when i ca#e
an% his hear broke in wo& was overwhel#ing.
n his cabin on ,nake Ri%ge& Drville Mowberry soo% saring a his ra%io in %isbelie$. *e swiche% i
o$$ an% urne% an% walke% ou ono he ri%ge wih ,huup %ui$ully $ollowing hi#. *e sa %own
heavily on a rock an% sare% %own owar%s he valley on he wes si%e o$ he #ounain. *e coul%
see Billy Mo)on:s house $ro# here. looke%& as i always %i% in ,u##er& like a black an% whie#achbo) on a piece o$ green $el casing a long sha%ow o he souh wes in he early evening.
Benrigh:s ol% blue pick8up ruck parke% besi%e i. Dn he easern si%e o$ he #ounain& he sha%ow
cas by he big rock an% he $alling an% re%%ening sun was alrea%y ushering in an early nigh. *ere
an% here Drville coul% see cars #oving wih heir si%elighs on. Dn he wesern si%e& he valley was
sill bahe% in glorious sunshine an% woul% sill be ligh $or wo #ore hours.
*e pulle% an ol% $ob wach on a chain $ro# his waiscoa pocke% an% glance% a i. Benrigh woul%
no be ho#e ye. (lose o ho#e bu no 'uie here. The boy woul% be alone.
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hu#an was aroun%& ,huup woul% sing ou a warning an% aack on co##an%. Tha& an% he
co#pany& was all Drville ever wane% $ro# a %og.
73ell& ,huup& wha shoul% %o %on: hol% wih iner$erin: in hings beween $olks& bu i see#s
wrong o ignore his. (elese has %one wrong. Tha bich has hur her own son an% a lile gal ha
never %i% her no har#. > lo o$ $olks are goin: o be #ighy #a% a her. 5es sir. (an: say bla#e:e# neiher.7
*e ai#e% a +e o$ spi a a s#all rock& #isse% i by a #ile& $rowne% an% rubbe% his ol% eyes.
7There is %ogs an% biches in his worl% ya +us can: a#e. Too #uch evil in :e#. ;ike ha *iler
characer. >in: no alkin: a :e#. lways %o. >lways will.9
,huup cocke% up an ear& lisene% $or a while an% hen wen back o snooCing. 3haever his %u#b
ol% #aser was saying o hi#& here was no chore or rea involve% in i $or hi#.
Drville was no %one alking ye. *e ha% o ge hings sraigh an% he bes way he knew o %o i was
o alk ou lou% an% lisen o hi#sel$. *e knew i was no likely ,huup woul% su%%enly si up an%
ell hi# wha he hough shoul% be %one& bu he #a%e a goo% soun%ing boar% anyhow& an% isee#e% less craCy o alk o hi# han o alk o a rock.
7 ain: Go% a go a8pokin: abou in oher peoples lives. *e knows wha *e is a8%oin: when *e %oes
i. woul% +us #ake a bigger an% bigger #ess an% prob:ly se $olks ag:in each oher. 5es siree. Dl%
Drville shoul% no be poking abou where he ain: suppose% a be. $ coul% rescue every crier
$ro# he (ougars +aws& why& woul% en% up wih a lo o$ sick criers a nurse back a healh an% a
lo o$ (ougars sarvin: a %eah. # #y brohers keeper9
Drville #us have %eci%e% he washis brohers keeper because he soo% up 'uickly an% #arche%
back ino his cabin. ,huup gave a poine% sigh& go up an% $ollowe% hi#. Drville swiche% his ra%ioback on a he very insan ha Billy& $ar below in he valley& swiche% his o$$. Drville was +us a
spli secon% lae when he keye% up his #icrophone an% calle% Billy o ell hi# he rue #essage his
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sweehear ha% sen hi#.
(elese was roaring wih hyserical laugher when she go up $ro# her sea. ,he saggere% $orwar%sowar%s he able where her lu#p o$ brea% %ough s'uae%& surroun%e% by scaere% $lour. ,he soo%
swaying back an% $orh in $ron o$ he able unil she spoe% her cigaree pack an% %eci%e% o have
a s#oke. ,he pae% her apron pockes& $oun% her #aches an% li her cigaree an% proppe% hersel$
on he e%ge o$ he able o s#oke i.
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Benrigh rushe% back ino he house an% hrew open Billy:s be%roo# %oor. *is son:s bo%y& genly
swinging $ro# a rope ie% aroun% he roo$ ra$ers& slowly urne% o $ace hi#. The open eyes bulging&
he ongue poking ou an% skin o$ his $ace a purple8black colour. The noose aroun% his neck cuing
cruelly ino his hroa. Dn he $loor was a noe ha ha% $allen $ro# his %ea% han%s.
Benrigh was sobbing like a chil% as he ha% cu his boy %own an% lai% hi# on his be%. Then he%esperaely calle% $or he police an% a %ocor on he ra%io bu he owns wo police#en& Ber& he
,heri$$ an% on& his young %epuy& ha% boh been calle% o assis wih a $ire$igh on he oher si%e o$
he #ounain. ;ouise& he police ra%io operaor& sai% he oc ha% gone wih he# bu as soon as
hey go back& she woul% sen% so#eone over. wasn: likely o be $or aroun% hree or $our hours
hough. Maybe even longer.
was a lile over an hour be$ore Benrigh reace% o his loss an% he wor%s ha Billy ha% wrien in
his noe ha ol% Billy:s si%e o$ he sory. Benrigh knew insanly ha he #essage Billy ha% goen
was no he one ha ,arah woul% have sen. *er hear was oo swee o sen% wor%s like ha. *e
rie% o call (elese on he ra%io bu she was no answering. n his #in% he coul% picure herlaughing wih sick %eligh.
3hen he %i% reac& i was wih a surge o$ $ury he like o$ which he ha% never $el be$ore. was
beyon% reason. was a bubbling& whie ho lava o$ burning hare% ha ore an% rippe% hrough his
hear an% #in% like a orna%o. *e su%%enly soppe% his crying an% soo% up. *is $ace conore% ino
a #ask o$ unnaural rage. *e ha% #a%e up his #in% wha he was going o %o an% $orgiveness ha%
nohing o %o wih i.
Benrigh burs ino his be%roo#& pulle% he pu#p acion sho gun $ro# is rack an% $ille% his
pockes wih shells.. Then he wen back ino his sons roo# an% hoise% his bo%y over one shoul%er
be$ore hea%ing ou he %oor. *e care$ully unloa%e% Billy:s bo%y ino he passenger sea o$ his ruck&
an% hen cli#be% ino he oher si%e. ,wiching on he #oor he gunne% he engine an% ook o$$ in a
clou% o$ %us an% ire s#oke. *e was hea%ing o he highway aroun% he #ounain. ,o#eone else
was going o %ie o%ay. *e ha% a pro#ise o keep. *a% he glance% o his le$ he woul% have seen he
s#oke curling up above he #ounain op an% realise% he was wasing his i#e. *e %i%n: see i. n
his hea% he coul% see nohing bu (elese. ,he was %ancing. *er bo%y shaking an% wising an%
+erking as he pu#pe% i $ull o$ 12 gauge shells.
@p on he #ounain& ol% Drville was busy on he ra%io. *e was broa%casing o boh si%es o$ he
#ounain all he knew abou abou wha (elese ha% %one an% elling people he coul% no raise Billy
o le hi# know.
Dn he eas si%e o$ he #ounain& ,arah McenCie was inconsolable. ,he %i% no hear Drville:s
broa%cas bu a neighbour ha% an% co#e running wih he sory. ,arah ha% lisene% wih #ouning
shock an% horror an% was now siing& screa#ing an% pulling hair $ro# her hea%& on he bahroo#
$loor. *er back presse% agains he locke% %oor as her #oher rie% o cal# her %own by calling oher $ro# ousi%e. *er $aher Roy was swearing a ho revenge on (elese Mo)on $or wha she ha%
%one o his %augher an% Billy.
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was a hour an% a hal$ be$ore Benrigh = who ha% broken every spee% li#i in he couny = swung
his ruck har% le$ an% began cli#bing he roa% o (elese:s house. was %ark an% he was en
#inues ino he cli#b when his hea%lighs evenually picke% up s#oke %ri$ing across he roa% an%
hanging in he rees on eiher si%e o$ i. was anoher en #inues be$ore he saw he $lashing re%lighs o$ he $ire en%er ahea% in he hickening s#oke ha now rese#ble% a hick an% choking $og.
*e soppe% he ruck an% pulle% Billy:s bo%y $ro# his sea an% $lung i over his shoul%er. Then he
grabbe% his shogun $ro# he rack behin% he %rivers sea an% shune% i in his han%& loa%ing up a
shell.
Benrigh Mo)on looke% like a vision sraigh $ro# hell as he e#erge% hrough he s#oke o san% in
$ron o$ he burning house. The inense hea ha% $orce% he $ire crew back an% hey were ai#ing
heir waer +es a a buil%ing oo $ar gone o hope o save. $ea ha he asse#ble% $ire crew& sheri$$& %epuy an% %ocor all agree% was al#os
supernaural.
The $ire crew ha% worke% all nigh an% #os o$ he $ollowing %ay o sop he $ire seing he whole
#ounain ablaCe. The chie$ $ire invesigaion o$$icer $ro# Blacksone ha% %riven over an% inspece%
he re#ains o$ he house an% hree bo%ies re%uce% o black lu#ps o$ carbon. *is repor woul% be
crucial o he in'ues laer. Dne acci%enal %eah an% wo suici%es while he balance o$ he #in% was
%isurbe% woul% be he ver%ic reurne%.
The $uneral was on July ?h& he %ay o$ he couny $air. -ven so& hree hun%re% people urne% up $or
i. The enire $a#ily were inerre% ogeher. Mary Mo)on& now Mary Richar%s& soo% a he grave
wih her new husban% an% wep an% cluche% his ar# ighly as he co$$ins were lowere% in he
$a#ily graves a he norhern en% o$ he green #ea%ow. The house an% lan% were hers now bu she
inen%e% o sell i all o he lu#ber co#pany on con%iion ha hey kep he graves en%e% inperpeuiy. ,he coul% no bare o live here hersel$.
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The $uneral service was given by ol% /asor Bur $ro# he Jesus ;ives Bapis (hurch in >n%erson.
*e use% his rage%y o warn he congregaion o$ he %angers o$ hae& bierness& un$orgiveness an%
revenge. *e ol% he# o$ his conversaion wih Benrigh long ago when he ha% co#e o see hi# an%
aske% how o $orgive. *e knew he was o$$en%ing so#e in his hearing bu he %i% no care. :Beer o
o$$en% all& ha one person #ay hear an% be save%.: Tha was his #oo when he preache% he Gospel
#essage. *e ol% he#& as he ha% ol% Benrigh& how o go abou $orgiving ohers ha have %one
you grea wrongs. *e en%e% he ser#on wih he sa#e propheic wor%s he ha% calle% ou oBenrigh as he ha% le$ hi# on ha %ay wih his hear sill $ull o$ anger. *is voice hun%ering aroun%
he en in he green #ea%ow where he service was hel%.
7Beware o$ pri%e an% bierness.. They will conspire ogeher o kill everyhing you love. They are
he %evils brew. on: %rink $ro# hose cups or you will rue he %ay you %i%.9
Dl% Drville Mowberry %i%n: aen% he $uneral. *e ol% -ric Brackenri%ge& he own barber& on he
ra%io& ha he wane% o re#e#ber Billy an% Benrigh as hey ha% been in li$e an% he ha% no %esire
o re#e#ber he wich.
7 hae $unerals -ric. never go o :e#. 3hy& i$ can avoi% i& #igh no go o #ine neiher&9 he
ol% his ol% $rien%.
-ric sai% he coul% no aen% because he ha% o wai a ho#e $or news $ro# he hospial abou his
sick wi$e.
>s hey alke% ogeher Drville woul% occasionally glance %own a he #ea%ow $ar below& $ro# his
wesern win%ow. *e coul% see he house& he big en an% he hree& sill open graves& clear enough.
$ he use% his binoculars& he coul% recognise he people oo.
The view $ro# he easern win%ow was o$ $ire scarre% rees below he cabin. was a view ha
#a%e Drville shu%%er every i#e he looke% a i. *a% he $ire crew no soppe% he $ire sprea%ing
hrough he rees ha nigh& his cabin #ay have gone up oo. /ine rees burn har% when hey burn.
Drville clicke% he #icrophone swich.
5a know -ric& people a8sar %yin: when he #a% ones ge power. >lways %o. >lways will. The
couny shoul% never have given (elese ha +ob. ,he was ba% o he bone an% #os $olks knowe% i.
,ill& you know wha poliicians is like& ya can: ell :e# anyhing hey %on: know beer :n you.9
*e pause% an% li a cigaree& scrache% a a %og $lee biing his ches un%er his shir an% hen he
spoke so$ly ino he #icrophone.
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7/26/2019 A Mountain of Hate and Love
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7There is no nee% $or us o burn no wiches& -ric. ll ha was le$ o $ill her e#piness was he pain o$ herloss
7 sill love you Billy Mo)on& she sai%& hen a%%e%& always %i% an% always will.9
THE END