A Seeing of Oneself: Agent of Evolution in Education

by

Abbie Wellington

B.A., The University of British Columbia – Okanagan, 2006

B.Ed., The University of British Columbia – Okanagan, 2008

THESIS SUBMITTED IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT OF

THE REQUIREMENTS FOR DEGREE OF

MASTER OF ARTS

in

SELF DESIGN

SELF DESIGN GRADUATE INSTITUTE

Bellingham, Washington

October 2016

© Abbie Wellington, 2016

ii

Abstract

“Bang-bang-rattle-bing-bang gonna make my noise all day!” This well known

phrase from Mortimer, a 1985 Robert Munsch children’s book, brings to mind two

things. First, the noises created daily by internal voices. Second, the busy world we live

in, amplified by external noises, activity, and constant busyness! As a result, the

combination of both the inner and outer noises can in reality cover-up an ability to be

aware of the here and now, as well as the inner awareness of something beyond.

As a woman and educator, and in consultation with my own human nature which

is practical, intra-personal and interested in self evaluation, self actualization, and

spiritual/existential matters, a natural fit for a thesis inquiry was the investigation of ‘my

own presence’ and ‘connection to inner and outer’, especially through a process of living

the inquiry. Using qualitative Narrative Research, as the methodological vehicle for the

journey, the goal was to explore how Awareness through the Body (ATB) and self

reflection could facilitate my own self-awareness and what the implications were of this

knowing or seeing of self.

The journey into self and ‘my own evolving being’ with use of an experiential

model, became an integration of data from field notes, pictures, and reflections on

observations. Specifically, research was conducted while located in Canada and in India

while at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram in Chennai and New Delhi; and Auroville, a United

Nations sanctioned intentional community which has the goal of unity of consciousness.

Through the self study, I came to understand that I was living the narrative that I

wrote, and continue to do so. The concept of ‘re-storying’ with Narrative Inquiry is to

make better sense of the experiences through the ‘living, telling, and retelling’. In the

midst of the process, the ability to learn to master attention with conscious choice was

at the forefront.

As a result of both ‘living and writing’ about the inquiry, I’ve experienced shifts

and changes in my own awareness. I find myself in a state of increased receptivity in

which to better listen to the varied inputs that come into my space. As well, the journey

has enabled parts of ‘my being’ to be awakened. Overall, the journey to become present

to choices, and hold space to stop, focus, and bask in an ‘internal fire’ has given

reference to being rekindled, like ‘I sat in that fire before’.

iii

Table of Contents

Abstract ……………………………………………………………………………………….. ii

Table of Contents ……………………………………………………………………………. iii

List of Figures …………………………………………………………………………………iv

Acknowledgements ………………………………………………………………………….. v

Chapter 1: Introduction ……………………………………………………………………….1

An Invitation to the Research Question ………………………………………………….1

A Summary of the Choice of Methodology Used in the Research ……………………5

A Short Overview of the Literature ……………………………………………………….7

Chapter 2: Being Planted and Getting Watered …………………………………………..9

Chapter 3: Different Planes of My Being ………………………………………………….13

Chapter 4: The Light Within – The Witness Attitude …………………………………….18

Chapter 5: Different Keys …………………………………………………………………..23

Chapter 6: Auto Pilot ………………………………………………………………………..26

Chapter 7: Choice and Transformation …………………………………………………...29

Chapter 8: Conclusion and Beginning………………………………………………………34

Bibliography ………………………………………………………………………………….37

iv

List of Figures

Note: Figures 1 and 5 to 11 have been transposed with the use of the Waterlogue app

Figure 1 Spanish Lotus poem - Source: Abbie Wellington ………………………………..1

Figure 2 White swan - Source: Google search engine …………………………………….2

Figure 3 White lotus - Source: Google search engine ……………………………………3

Figure 4 Diagram illustrating parts of self – Source: Dr. Prapanna Smith ……………..4

Figure 5 Flowers in water - Source: Abbie Wellington - Photo taken outside Visitor’s

Center, Auroville, India ………………………………………………………………………..9

Figure 6 Crow on the ground – Source: Abbie Wellington - Photo taken outside Auroville

Bakery, Auroville, India ………………………………………………………………………13

Figure 7 Candle with flame – Source: Abbie Wellington - Photo taken during online ATB

exercise with the element of fire …………………………………………………………..18

Figure 8 Ring of keys – Source: Abbie Wellington – Photo of keys put together as visual

reminder ……………………………………………………………………………………….23

Figure 9 View of fog – Source: Abbie Wellington – Photo taken while driving on the

Coquihalla Highway, B.C. ………………………………………………………………….26

Figure 10 Smiling girl – Source: Google search engine ………………………………..29

Figure 11 The straight line of yoga - Source: Sketch by The Mother on front cover of

Perspectives for a New Millennium – Extracts from Sri Aurobindo and The Mother….34

Figure 12 Sunflowers – Source: Abbie Wellington – Photo taken in front of summer

home, Westside Road, Vernon, B.C. …………………………………………………….36

v

Acknowledgements

I offer gratitude to the faculty, staff and my fellow colleagues with Self Design Graduate

Institute, who have shared bits and pieces of my learning journey. I owe particular

thanks to Dr. Prapanna Smith, my Thesis Mentor, whose patience and insightful

questions taught me to stretch and go within more deeply. As well, to the members of

my Thesis Committee who each contributed in different ways: Margo MacLeod for your

time, wisdom, and understanding of process and the natural flow of learning. David

Marshak for the encouragement you gave to carve out a form and space that worked for

me from within. Clarissa Tufts for the reminder of quality engagement and honor of both

inner knowing and the ways of Self Design.

To the faculty members of Self Design Graduate Institute who have been a part of my

journey and held space for me as a graduate learner, in particular: Karen Meyer, Darrell

Letourneau, Pille Bunnell, Elaine Decker, Fleurette Sweeney, Micheal Houston, River

Meyer, and Mali Burgess.

Special thanks are owed to my partner, Jim, who has supported me throughout my MA,

both morally and intellectually.

Lastly, the spirit of India and travel to that country with the directed study courses that I

have completed; I breathe and return home!

1

Chapter 1: Introduction

________________

Spanish Lotus

“Abbie, no gafas por favor”.

Oh rats, caught with optic enhancers on!

‘Short-sighted’, the yoga movements are blurred and on the distant horizon.

“Hello-o-o-o, here I am! Yoo hoo body! Right here! I can help you.”

Shifting from out to in!

Ah, perfect-o! ‘Soul-sighted’, awareness regained!

Body righted in its place!

(Wellington, 2014 – Yoga with Treeni, La Manga, Spain)

Imagine that we are indeed ‘souls with bodies’ rather than ‘bodies with souls’!

2

Teachings from Sri Aurobindo focus on the evolution of the human soul and the

role of the educator in manifesting the higher nature of the learner for a noble use.

Additionally, the culturally accepted use of symbols, such as the white swan to

represent the ‘individual soul’ and the white lotus to represent the ‘consciousness of

spirituality’, embrace and place ancient wisdom into the common everyday through lived

experience and a deeper investigation of all parts of self.

So, did you know that the field of the soul contains within it everything that you

are, everything that is within you? Picture what it would be like to have someone say to

you, “How’s your soul/consciousness today?” rather than the common cliché of, “How

are you today?” Depth and inquiry that goes beyond the physical wellness of the body

or the material things of the world enables the focus to be on the ability to learn to live in

our souls. The soul or ‘the real you that doesn’t change’ has an interaction and

awareness to the ever-changing body that is called home. A pathway leads to the

deepest part of you that is calm, peaceful, continuously aware, and clear with a feeling

of being complete. Many words can describe the ‘soul’ residence depending on one’s

values, including: essence, presence, consciousness, place of zero, source, spirit, self,

non-localized field of intelligence, higher self, the unified field, creator, psychic, creative

intelligence, center point, and pure essence.

Ralph Waldo Emerson the 19th century American poet and philosopher

understood the manifestation of the soul with these famous words:

Within man is the soul of the whole; the wise silence; the universal beauty,

to which every part and particle is equally related; the eternal one…We

see the world piece by piece, as the sun, the moon, the animal, the tree;

but the whole, of which these are shining parts, is the soul (McLean 102).

3

For many years, I have wondered how something that is common to all of us,

regardless of gender, skin color, age or economics, can be so absent from our current

culture. It seems like the ability to focus on something that is so very ‘everyday,

subjective, inward and private’ goes against the ‘scientific, objective, outward and public

way of knowing’. The typical outcome is a reliance on the known view of ‘I think

therefore I am’ rather than a joining with ‘I know therefore I am.’

The current Modernist educational focus on the body with a rational mind, as

outlined in the B.C. Policy Statement on Public Schools, is a good example of the

outward and public way of knowing:

To develop the ability of students to analyze critically, reason and think

independently, and acquire basic learning skills and bodies of knowledge;

to develop in students a lifelong appreciation of learning, a curiosity about

the world around them, and a capacity for creative thought and

expression. (Statement of Education Policy Order D-89)

Secondary emphasis is then given to physical, social, and emotional

development. The Aristotelian emphasis on rational thought privileges the acquisition of

knowledge without meaningful personal involvement and negates the development of a

soul and other alternative ways of knowing, such as contemplative which can be

activated by methods, such as:

silence, deep listening, free writing, being in nature, playing, yoga, meditation, poetry,

using imagination, rituals, music, dancing, and other practices

Integral Education, as understood through Integral Psychology, enables the

educator to redirect energy and turn attention towards the inner. A different

understanding of the parts of one’s being helps to provide a greater awareness of the

correlation between the inner and the outer development. The following figure,

developed by Dr. Prapanna Smith, shows the relationship of the parts of self:

4

An invitation welcomes us to focus and be able to guide and navigate one’s own

soul and life from the ‘inner to the outer’ rather than the ‘outer to the inner’! To open the

levels of consciousness or ‘sadhani’! This courageous act also gives permission for

learner’s to do the same within their own individual sphere of ‘being’.

In congruence with my interest in both an ‘awakening of the soul’ and Integral

Psychology/Education, I’m drawn to the principles of ‘True Teaching’ as understood in

Sri Aurobindo terms. The three principles are: “Nothing can be taught…the mind has to

be consulted in its own growth… and work from the near to the far, from that which is to

that which shall be” (Sri Aurobindo 119-120). As such, ‘True Teaching’ begins first with

the inner work and consciousness of the teacher and then continues on into the world,

as a classroom. As an educator and within the realm of the three principles of ‘True

Teaching’, the growth edge is to constantly remember and be present with the inner

presence.

5

February 5, 2016

Go to India…Go……well, that seems unrealistic considering Jim hasn’t been working since the summer when he hurt his back…oh, being there does something for you and your inner and outer worlds…but it costs more money, and… Inner dialogue that wove a tapestry for quite a few months until one of the threads somehow came lose. The gap that resulted illuminated a ray of light and possibility. Several hours later, a ticket was purchased with the exact total amount of money that I had. Going to India becomes reality in 16 more sleeps! (January 17, 2016) Now, with the gift of time and opportunity to be present and fully aware in a different environment and culture, I’ve landed here in India! What will I do? I will continue my weekly involvement with the Self Design 538 Awareness through the Body (ATB) online course - (Jan. 8 – Apr. 15), attend the ATB 1 Workshop and Basic Tools Workshop of Awareness through the Body on Feb. 6/7 and Mar. 6/16 at Transition House in Auroville, self report and document through observations my own journey, attend Integral Yoga workshops, read literature, and make emergent connections with those in the ATB world in Auroville.

My interest in topics such as consciousness, ATB, and the laboratory that

Auroville has been called, are part of the field of subjective research, where there is no

standardized methodology for the description and evaluation of said subject matter. As

such, one might consider the use of qualitative research methods such as, Case Study,

Phenomenology, Grounded Theory, or Ethnography, each of which would focus on

either the study of: a particular ATB class, several teachers who have engaged in the

ATB experience, a new theory around the impact of ATB, or ATB within the context of

the community of Auroville. However, because the emphasis will be on my own

individual experiences with ATB, a theoretical framework grounded in Narrative

Research will be utilized instead. I will analyze or ‘re-story’ my experiences and provide

a causal link amongst ideas through data collected from ‘field texts’, such as journals

and photographs (Creswell).

6

So, as a new practitioner of Awareness through the Body, I will reflect and share

the themes that I have witnessed, seen, and become evident to me with my writings, in

the relation of a discovery of the inner world, which includes my real self:

…a truly harmonious personality implies a conscious arrangement of the

inner individualities. This arrangement may be effected spontaneously

before birth but that is rare. The arrangement is achieved later, by means

of a discipline, a proper education. But to succeed in this one must

consciously take the psychic being as the centre and arrange, harmonize

the various individualities around it. True harmony, inner organization is

the result of such a persistent effort (The Mother Our Many Selves –

Practical Yogic Psychology 131).

7

Short Literature Review

Research from fields, such as: Body Work, Dance, Somatic Philosophy,

Metaphysics, Integral Education/Psychology, and Mind-Body Therapies, to mention just

a few, could be pieced together to form a background for writing about this topic.

In “Body Awareness: a Phenomenology Inquiry into the Common Ground of

Mind-Body Therapies”, the authors used qualitative analysis and focus groups to

examine the connection between body awareness and mind-body therapies. The study

showed that body awareness is indeed an inseparable aspect of embodied self

awareness with a progression towards greater unity between body and self (1).

Embodiment as understood through philosophical terms refers to an integration of all

levels of one’s being.

In “The Science of Living” article, The Mother, described the different parts of

one’s being as the: psychic, mental, vital, and physical body (1-4).

An article entitled, “Deepening Consciousness through the Body” from the

Conscious Living Center website, out of Ohio, argued that “body awareness practices

involve consciously moving the body and paying attention to the breath at the same

time. They differ from exercise because the focus is on staying in the present moment

and observing the body” with an interrelation between the mind, heart, and instincts

(O’Hara 1).

A central theme from these articles reviewed is that with the engagement of the

body something else happens to other parts of one’s being. Now, as mentioned earlier,

the nature of the topic means that subjective research is used. For this reason, while

there is a lack of written research to explore how Awareness through the Body (ATB)

and self reflection facilitate one’s own self- awareness and the implications of that

knowing or seeing of self, subjective research has been conducted by the method

creators of ATB.

In the 2006 book, Awareness through the Body, Aloka Marti and Joan Sala state

that the underlying philosophy of ATB follows the teachings of The Mother and Sri

Aurobindo which are aimed at awakening consciousness. The body is the vehicle

through which ATB uses activities taken from a multitude of disciplines, including

“dance, hatha yoga, Taoism, martial arts, physiotherapy, shiatsu, relaxation and

breathing techniques” (Marti and Sala 9).

From 1992, when ATB originally started as a program to help children improve

their posture, to now with over 20 plus years of hands on experience with children in the

schools of Auroville, India, Aloka and Joan propose that the aim of the exercises is for

adults and children “to become conscious of their own perceptions and abilities so that

8

they may become self-aware, self-directed individuals” (Marti and Sala 7). In keeping

with teachings of Sri Aurobindo, even though influences can be felt on the physical,

vital, and mental levels, the focus goes much deeper as described with this quote from

Sri Aurobindo: “We are not only what we know of ourselves but an immense more which

we do not know; our momentary personality is only a bubble on the ocean of our

existence” (as quoted in Marti and Sala 19).

Through oral and written feedback obtained yearly from the children participating

in ATB, Aloka and Joan are clear that even though not enough years have passed to

assess the full impact of the program and its effect on the adult life of the child, and

because the ingrained nature of ‘being more aware’ has no external reference point with

which to compare to for these children, subjective observations are made, as they relate

to a better understanding of the learners and the world around them:

What we can say so far by observing the adolescents who went through the

programme, is that each one, within the frame of his personality, seems to have

more sense of responsibility, to be more able to steer his own life and more able

to have a certain distance from the emotional upheavals common to adolescence

(Marti and Sala 291).

Implications for myself: So, in keeping with the research methodology used for this thesis, and as a participant intentionally focused on self awareness and my own process with ATB, I can only give voice for myself and include my own observations to those of Marti and Sala. With this observation, comes the realization that a ‘re-story’ process is not a linear one.

9

Chapter 2: Being Planted and Getting Watered

10

The written re-story on paper starts with a recollection of time spent with three

girlfriends this past summer. The chosen activity was attendance at the world renowned

Caravan Theater, where an outdoor local theater performance was being held. The play

being performed was called, “Our Town” written by Thornton Wilder in 1938, set in

Grover’s Corners, a small town in New Hampshire, U.S.A. In Wilder’s own words, the

play “was an attempt to find a value above all price for the smallest events in our daily

life. I have made the claim as preposterous as possible for I have set the village against

the largest dimensions of time and place....Each individual’s assertion to an absolute

reality can only be inner, very inner” (Wilder xxx1).

Later, the performance created conversation, not about life in the small village or

the conditions of life after death, but around the creation of life with the mind. As such,

one girlfriend shared that in her six days of being newly retired she had only been

present for one day that she could recall. This was the day she chose to mow the lawn.

The question was asked: Wasn’t retirement supposed to change both one’s perspective

and flow of ‘doing to being’ with an idea of more balance?

For me, the question and inquiry from the conversation above hit the nail on the

head. As indicated, my interest has been about this exact topic and how the integration

of the inner and outer with the force coming from within seems to be, for some reason,

difficult to stay at the forefront as the outer and day to day seems to outshine the inner.

To hear someone else give voice and echo my own sentiments made me realize that

I’m not alone, as others also question how one can follow the soul or inner with balance.

Rewind six months, to my first class of ATB. Here’s what I had to say after being

in attendance at the first online session of the Awareness through the Body course:

Jan. 15, 2016

As I pulled off the headsets, after disconnecting from the session, tears flowed from deep within my being.

Upon reflection, I identified that my body was very happy and that the tears shed were tears of joy. When

I went back to the exercise with the Internal Weather report and repeated this activity, instead of feeling

‘socked in and sleepy’, I now felt ‘light and airy’ emerging out of the clouds.

Now, as I read the field data collected from my fourth time to India, and my

involvement with both the online ATB course and the ATB courses that I took at the

Transition House in Auroville, the visual of being like flowers in water came to my

awareness as a representation of being fed on all planes of my being with the ATB

themes of: Physical Structure, Attention and Concentration, Sensory Awareness,

Breathing, Different States of Consciousness, Subtle Physical Body, The Five

Elements, and Evolution (Marti and Sala 59).

11

The journal entry below gives voice to both feelings and thoughts about my

participation in ATB:

April 2, 2016

As I reflect on my reflections from the past 11 weeks, I’ve noticed some things that I’ve been able to

incorporate into my life in a very useful way having now returned to Canada from India. In terms of my

actions or behaviors, here are a few of the things that I’ve observed:

Since being in India, the practice and ‘newness’ of going barefoot in the house is a reminder of both India

and a connection of my physical body to the earth.

I’ve noticed and welcomed a connection with my physical body to biking which takes me back to being on

the pathways of Auroville!

Whenever I go into the bathroom, the words that pop into my mind are STOP – Breathe! This makes

sense to me, as my sensory landmark around the action of both stopping and breathing happened in this

room.

I noticed that the more simple the exercise or key (i.e. just tensing my body and then releasing or sitting

and noticing my breath or using the tennis balls with my feet) the more I seem to come back to the exercise

through the sensory landmarks created.

As a very strong visual learner, symbols are an important learning tool. So, the symbol of the flower and

a ball (representing a flower) connect immediately for me to the divine consciousness! As well, the planes

of consciousness model (with the bodies cut out of different colored plastic) remind me of my energy body,

vital body, mental body, physical body, and my center point.

Further, a few thoughts on what my involvement in ATB practices has shifted in me, include:

I have noticed that I smile more. I really noticed earlier this week, when I was at the store and had the

business open my nature with people seemed to come out in a fun and playful way. We live in the realm of

‘old school’ out here, as my dad was a pioneer and thought and acted outside of the box. I’m reminded of

this everyday out here, especially when I see the flooring which is a varied patchwork of linoleum from

decades ago and an assortment of tools that are now obsolete. Hence, our almost 100 year old building

that houses a business that’s been here for 46 years and our world of 30,000 hubcaps and trinkets galore!

My partner, as an observer on the side, commented that after being back from India for three days, I

seemed to be calmer and much more detached from things.

I now have an ability to be more aware of where my attention is, which I didn’t have before. I’m also able

to be more aware of when I’m not aligned with the planes of my being. The ability to just notice with the

witness attitude has been a strong piece for me. I’m less likely to judge myself or analyze what’s

happening.

12

As someone who spent years in organized religion and in keeping with my understanding of ‘the religious

man’, I notice my mindfulness around routines that lose their efficacy. The difference for me is an

intentional awareness. I notice that my mind likes the words – ‘A habit with intention’.

The outcome of my visit to Auroville was the realization that life back home in

Canada, even though challenging for me, is the ‘field of yoga’ rather than living in an

ashram. The theme of getting refueled every once in a while, which some do with yearly

visits to India or ongoing daily methods or practices, illustrates a shift from mind

centered to psychic centered. I understand the process can be best described as an

inner psychological work unfolding outwards from a central core.

Implications for myself: A self awareness of when a ‘watering or refueling’ is needed means that I can become present to the concept of choices and engagement with my own inner self.

13

Chapter 3: Different Planes of My Being

14

When I see a crow, also known as a ‘Kaaka’ in Sanskrit, I am reminded of three

things. First, I am transported back to the day of the Celebration of Life for my mother

who passed on almost thirteen years ago. As people gathered and mingled underneath

a balcony, waiting for the service to begin, a crow swooped down from one side and

passed over the top of the heads of the people to exit on the other side. Second, I’m

reminded of the property where I grew up as a kid and currently reside, and that my dad

had left my sister and me after his passing. As I sit here and type, I can hear the crows

in the trees outside. Lastly, I’m reminded of my connection to India and the theme of the

planes of one’s being:

February 5, 2016

A clean shaven and crisp looking man dressed in white, who grew up in the village of Auroville, is there

to pick me up from the Chennai airport. He is waving a sign as I approach. My clues for him about my

identification were that of an older looking woman with glasses wearing a backpack while pulling a

black case, and dressed in burgundy. As we approach his car and walk towards the trunk, I notice a crow

sitting on the handle bars of the motorcycle in front of me, cawing away at me. I smile. I resurface and

look at the crow, an arms’ length away, and silently say ‘Good Morning India’. As I hop in the taxi, the

dawn has broken and the sky is now light. The smells of incense, garbage, and deep fried cooking assault

my senses as we leave the airport and begin our drive through the city towards Auroville.

As a BC educator, I’m familiar with the categories of physical, social, emotional,

and intellectual. In addition, as a Learning Consultant, with an alternative online

Independent School, I’m familiar with the use of body, mind, spirit, and emotion to

categorize learning areas for the learners that I work with. However, in “The Science of

Living” article, The Mother discusses not only the five areas of the planes of one’s being

but also articulates that the study of self, “as it relates to one’s perfection, means that

one must learn to distinguish these different parts from one another, so that you may

become clearly aware of the origins of the movements that occur in you, the many

impulses, reaction and conflicting wills that drive you to action” (1).

In the “Science of Living” article, according to The Mother, the parts of self

include: the psychic which is the “psychological centre of our being and represents the

highest truth of existence”; the mental which is the development of the mind and “an

instrument of formation, of organization and action”; the vital being which is “the seat of

impulses and desires, of enthusiasm and violence, of dynamic energy” and; the physical

body (2-3). The Mother contends that the mind and vital can and will easily rule the

body which results in a destruction of natural balance in the body. Hence, in order to

have union with the body the psychic centre of one’s being needs to be at the center

with a body that is strong and supple. The outcome will be a balanced harmony, which

is progressive as the “truth of a being is never static” (3).

15

So, my connection to Awareness through the Body and Auroville exposed me in a

very personal way to the different planes of my being not just by name but rather

through a personal experience with each area in my body. Part of the process was to

become an objective witness and sit back to observe and recognize the different parts

of my being. For me, the journal entries below encapsulate the essence of the theme of

the different planes of my being:

February 8, 2016

On a much deeper level, of course, and in a very simplified way there are the planes of consciousness (i.e.

physical body, subtle physical or energy body, vital body, and mental body) which are connected by a center

point (some call this the soul, psychic, truth, essence, non-localized field of intelligence if one is into

Quantum physics...many words for this space which stays the same within, whether one is 8 or 80). At

times, one of these planes can be out of balance and calling for my attention.

January 29, 2016

During today’s online ATB class, I noticed the following with the Directed Exploration, as it related to

exploring the planes of the body:

Physical – I noticed how cold I was, so much so that I was shivering for part of the exercise. I noticed

that I had an emotional release as tears welled up in my eyes. I noticed a wandering of my thoughts, and

heard the click click from my partner’s keyboard. I wondered about the significance (if any) of the third

finger or the third toe. I noticed that I questioned myself during the exercise as to whether I misheard the

instruction, to not move but rather go from the inside.

Subtle – I noticed the tingling in my limbs and all around my physical body. I noticed how warm and

cozy it felt for me. I noticed shots of purple flashing in front of my closed eyes. I noticed how calm I felt. I

noticed that when I stood the tingling continued. I noticed that when I moved, I began to feel cold again.

I noticed that I lost the energy around me. I noticed I was losing focus.

Vital – I noticed that I felt neutral regarding the mention of competition. I noticed my mind ‘kicked in’

‘Oh, I heard put my hands on my ears’ when I was told to step out.

Mental – I noticed that when I saw the list of words, my mind ‘kicked in’ with ‘Oh, so many choices’. I

noticed I listened to my thoughts and chose the word, concentration. I noticed that during the exercise I

felt tension, and what I can only describe as some knotted energy in my shoulders.

I became conscious that the plane that was most foremost was the Subtle.

Upon reflection, during my time in Auroville, I observed two strands of knowing

that emerged in relation to the planes of my being. First, the outer with mind, emotion,

personality and my physical body and the goal to make these stronger so that I could

give expression to my soul and the psychic element. The following quote found on the

16

bulletin board at Transition School, Auroville, with author unknown, shifted my prior

thinking and understanding: “The Change of our body is linked with the change of our

consciousness”. As well, the focus on the body, as the place that houses everything

else, was amplified by the physicality of my ‘being-ness’ with constant walking, biking,

stretching, and moving which became a natural part of the everyday. To some, these

actions may seem routine. However, my lifestyle here in Canada means that I spend a

lot of time in a vehicle with irregular slots of time devoted to my physicality.

Second, the goal of ATB to “provide tools for individuals to expand their

consciousness, explore different planes of their being, discover their inner selves, and

eventually their psychic being” encouraged a concentration or focus of my will, heart,

and thought on the Divine which I understand is love (Marti and Sala 20). Through the

online ATB classes, I learned that concentration is actually a conscious gathering and

holding of the attention on one point. I also observed on the bulletin board at Transition

House in Auroville a piece of paper, source unknown, with the word ‘psychic being’

described as psukhe in Greek and meaning the soul in manifestation.

The journal entries below from India document the impact of a focus on my body

and being:

February 8, 2016

After supper, I went into the Community Hall to check my e-mails. As I set up my computer, the woman

across from me at the table shared her observation that I was sighing heavily. I noticed that until she

mentioned this behavior I was not aware of what I was doing. In saying this, I did have someone else

who attended the ATB workshop and who was staying at the same guest house, comment on Saturday

morning that she knew I was a ‘newbie’ as my energy was vibrating. I did notice that I was indeed

clunking the keys on the keyboard that morning and feeling anger towards my computer and having to be

on it to complete some work.

February 12, 2016

After a week of being here in India a few things stand out for me:

One, is the greater awareness I have of my subtle body or energy body. I have gone from feeling this

energy at select times far and few between to now feeling the tingling of my arms when I both sit in quiet

and when I move and walk intentionally along the many pathways here in Auroville. My body feels like

it’s on fire sometimes! Two, I’m noticing how active I am! My body is walking, moving, biking, and

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being! The divine is about love! I’m noticing that I’m valuing a daily practice of connection with my

body which then seems to take me to an inner space!

February 14, 2016

I noticed my focus and attention this morning was on finding my way to the Solar Kitchen through only

using the path ways. I noticed the use of breath and a seemingly heightened awareness of the sounds of the

birds and the wind moving the leaves of the trees. I noticed myself intentionally breathing through my

nose, as I consciously took each step on the dusty pathway here in Auroville. I sensed my will with great

force and purpose. I noticed that when I got to the corner path across from the Solar Kitchen, I felt

surprised. I had not been on this part of the path before even though I had seen the path. Hence, my

previous trips had me walking on the road. I noticed how pleased I felt that I made it to my destination,

especially as there were no signs and I met no one on my journey. I noticed on the way back, as I retraced

my steps, that my mind made a connection to my body and subjective sensory landmarks and the whole use

of my body to recall the memory of walking this path in order to find my way back home.

Implications for myself as an educator: An awareness of self and the different parts of my own being means that I’m then trained to see the different planes of being in the learners I work with. The ‘seeing of others’ helps me to both better understand and be with each individual.

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Chapter 4: The Light Within – The Witness Attitude

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April 8, 2016

Activity/Experience/Exploration: Engaged in exercise with candle(s) during last ATB online class

Observations: I noticed that when I lit the candle, immediately my mind went to: I am the light! As well, I

thought of the poem written by Marianne Williamson:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles 190- 191).

I noticed that my vital felt very calm, focused, and peaceful. I learned that I could put my finger through a flame and not get burned. My mind was very intrigued by this, as I didn’t know that. My exposure to the element of fire has been through making fires many years ago when our family lived in a rural area with no electricity, and then later with having a home burn down. Anyway, I found that observing the nature of the flame was really interesting for me. I noticed that when I did the soft gaze I saw two candles instead of one, and a beam of light coming out of one of the candles. As I brought the candle on the plate closer, I observed two beams. I experimented with the placement of my hands and noted that the flame was hotter when my hands were put directly over top of it. I noticed that the flame of the candle seemed to sway to the left side all the time. I noticed that when I stayed perfectly still that the flame remained in the middle. When the candle and plate were on my chest, I observed the inside part of the flame. The thoughts – ‘a cleanse’ came to my mind. I noticed that I found my body moving tall and long, with my hands above my head, when I became the flame. I noticed my movements also favored the left hand side of myself. When I got up and sat down, I noticed a smile on my face. I noticed how peaceful I felt, and refreshed. April 22, 2016

Well, it’s been two weeks since the last ATB class has ended. I realized today that for the past two weeks

I’ve been processing, in the moment, my experiences in relation to ATB and my inner part. As such, this

progression has just naturally flowed from me with intention and habit. Visions of Auroville come to my

mind…the peace, focus on me, and connection to my inner, and how easy it was for me to be in that

space….the easy flow of staying connected…fast forward to today…feeling like I’m in a washing

machine, being agitated against my will, back and forth, back and forth. Having opportunity to practice

turning toward the force rather than struggling with confusion. In my mind, I’m thinking that I’m doing

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well with having a quiet mind and vital regardless of the outside disturbances that are in my face right

now! I’m not judging this, but being very aware of what is there. Up until last night, I’ve been able to act

from that calm and inner nature. This morning, the pot ‘blew its lid’. In saying this, the realization is

that I’m feeling overwhelmed by computer issues, things happening with my son, and concerns with my

partner.

I feel like I’m hyper–ventilating and out of control. I can feel the hardness of my shoulders and the tension

in my body. I have an awareness of what’s happening and an understanding of how important it is to

have a time out…to re-group…and be back in synch with my center. Having the flexibility of closing

both the shop and then heading off to a safe quiet place to be today and tonight brings up feelings of

gratitude. In the moment, I can listen to that inner knowing that lets me know that things are out of place

and then re-align rather than listening to my mind which chatters away…Oh, you should have the store

open…what happens if someone drives a distance to get here…get it together……what do you mean a

wellness time……. Even though my partner seems to be in angst, I feel a sense of calmness and rightness

in listening to my inner knowing. I know that this too shall pass; therefore the emphasis is on self care

and not the ways or thinking of the world.

As I reread journal entries, like the ones above and below, I’m reminded of the

theme of the witness attitude which was crucial to an integral understanding of what

happened for me with ATB, especially with the goal to awaken more than instruct.

February 12, 2016

My intentional focus has been on the cultivation of the ‘witness attitude’ or the ‘beginner’s mind’ or the

‘self observer’. Oh, so many words that represent the same thing to me, with this ability to be able to be a

witness and observe and notice what is happening in my body, my mind, and my vital. To be like a ‘fly on

the wall’ without any active engagement or judgment or involvement! So, a seeing of me with the

‘witness attitude’ is a step towards awakening that part of me which is asleep. These two quotes, below,

spoke very strongly to me:

There is also in you behind the mind the being who observes, the witness Purusha, who can stand detached from the play of the nature, observing it and able to choose…. (Sri Aurobindo -bulletin board at Transition School in entrance area to ATB room) The centre of the human being is the psychic which is the dwelling-place of the immanent Divine. Unifications mean organization and harmonization of all the parts of the being (mental, vital and physical) around this centre, so that all the activities of the being may be the correct expression of the will of the Divine Presence (The Mother Our Many Selves – Practical Yogic Psychology 130).

I once heard about an exercise where you try to say nothing for an hour. My

experience with the quiet mind of meditation has taught me that the process is short

lasting but a start, as my strong mind must learn to be silent. While in Auroville, I

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learned that the divine is above feelings and thoughts and can be said to be deep inside

underneath everything. An ability to observe various parts and detach and go

underneath means that one is free of all mental, vital, and physical movements. A sense

of timelessness and universality is the result (Marti and Sala 55). My description is one

of a feeling of peace focused in the heart.

The idea is to just become an observer without judging or evaluating what is going

on. The question is: What can one see, hear, feel, touch, and taste? In the Indian way,

as a part of reflection and self discovery the mind is also a sixth sense. Having a

reflection journal can assist with this process and awareness. I like the use of - I noticed

that……It's like a scan or a check-in with self with the opportunity to awaken that part

which is asleep and naturally there…the divinity and my true being.

Now, Marti and Sala, on page 55 of Awareness through the Body, give a good reminder that:

The witness attitude is not self-analysis; it is a way of looking that allows understanding to unfold rather than reaching it through analyzing and dissecting. When one is able to put the witness in contact with the highest state of consciousness that one has reached, one can respond from the inner self rather than from the surface self, which is swayed by thoughts and feelings and keeps the individual in a permanent state of confusion.

The positioning of the witness in contact with one’s highest state of consciousness “is a life-long journey (or many life-long journeys), the journey to discover the Self in oneself” (55). According to The Mother, when one reaches this degree of perfection:

We shall perceive that the truth we seek is made up of four major aspects: Love, Knowledge, Power and Beauty. These four attributes of the Truth will express themselves spontaneously in our being. The psychic will be the vehicle of true and pure love, the mind will be the vehicle of infallible knowledge, the vital will manifest an invincible power and strength and the body will be the expression of a perfect beauty and harmony (“The Science of Living” 4).

Implications for myself as an educator: An awareness of the witness attitude means I’m better able to remember that each one of us has a home inside, regardless of outward actions or behaviors. The way to access the space is to go beneath the mind with the use of the witness attitude. I’m also reminded of more expansive definitions of home that come from the Webster’s Third New International Dictionary: “Home: (noun) 2: one’s abode after death (adverb) 4a: to the center of consciousness or sensitivity” (1082). Further, the ‘living inquiry’ of my own experiences reminds me of the following quote by The Mother found on the www.hinduwebsite.com: “Let all circumstances, all happenings in life be occasions, constantly renewed for learning more and ever more”.

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Chapter 5: Different Keys

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The above key ring was created as a visual reminder, for me. As I learned from

online attendance in SD 504 -Teachings on Non-dual Awareness, online attendance in

SD 538 – Awareness through the Body, and the reading of the book, Awareness

through the Body, there are many keys that can be used to access and move towards

that inner space and expansion of consciousness. The goal to awaken more than

instruct, places attention on the individual process rather than the actual activities

themselves, as one can easily fall into routines with the ‘doing’ where one can lose

intention and awareness. The goal is to be in the moment without taking anything for

granted. Thinking of keys reminded me of the journal entry below:

February 7, 2016

So, after two days of intense activity and focus through attendance at the ATB 1 workshop here in

Auroville, India, the focus seems to be on my body. Now, the purpose of Awareness through the Body

(ATB) is to expand consciousness and remember what is already there through exploration of the

different parts of the being.

I notice with the different planes of my consciousness the following:

Body – I slept through part of one of the exercises. My body was obviously exhausted from the flying and

jet lag. As Amir, so wisely put it, there was no way he was going to be able to wake me up.

Energy body – A tingling in my hands

Vital – Feeling pain and tightness connected to my body and located in my shoulders, that makes me feel

uptight

So, many different keys to open the inner world! Some may work today, others will work tomorrow, or

some not at all.

During the past year, I’ve had affirmed that many keys do indeed exist, including

the ones listed below that seem to speak to me the most:

Exercises found in the Awareness through the Body book, time spent in nature,

connection to Marmalade our family cat, use of color and beauty through coloring,

growing flowers, biking, use of meditation, focus on breath, engagement with service,

and time spent playing

The connection with ATB, and a focus on the physical body, provides a natural fit

for my interest in movement and space, and not just quietness that naturally comes and

is yearned for as an introvert. Further, the following quote by The Mother (source

unknown), found on the bulletin board at the Visitor’s Center in Auroville, helped me to

see that there can be a connection to the outer world and not just while in an ashram

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like environment: “It is the old methods of yoga which demand silence and solitude. The

yoga of tomorrow is to find the divine in work and in relation with the world”.

Implications for myself and as an educator: An awareness of the different keys available both helps me to connect and also remember that each individual learner will have his/her own preferences for what most engages and speaks to him/her at a deep inner level. My role is to engage with my own self, as presence and energy will flow outward.

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Chapter 6: Auto Pilot

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June 1, 2016

I observe that semblance of a balanced life seems to have gone out the window, as evidenced by neglecting my health and a focus on multiple, chronic stressors over an extended period of time. I feel totally drained and not performing or present. My bright-eyed and positive nature has disappeared. I feel completely spent and have no energy as exhaustion seems to have set in emotionally, mentally, and physically. I notice the chatter and judgment: How can this be? How did this condition creep up on me without my awareness? I’m aware of my coping strategies which include being too sedentary, not getting enough sleep, in my mind a lot, and too much coffee drinking at the end of the day to de-stress. I feel less satisfied with my home life and current life space. So, the question that enters my mind is: How do I replenish myself? Yes, I can remove stressors and replenish resources. However, key besides relaxing and cultivating a rich non-work life is to unplug from the outer and plug into the inner.

Knowing that the answer is to plug into the inner can be easier said than done.

I’m aware of just holding space and remembering the experiences I had in India which

give a reference for another way of being and that kept alive the inner contact within my

true self, if even just a sliver. Fast forward, to a month later when I’m coming out of the

fog, while driving through the mountain pass to get to a work Collaboratory in the Lower

Mainland. I’m jolted into a space of connection as the fog is right in front of me, then to

the left of me, and then all around my vehicle. As I slowly drive forward, the brightness

of the sun smacks me in the face in an unexpected way. Within my mind, I recognize

the fog as a metaphor for my own space. I can relate to being in a fog of muckiness only

to now see the sunshine again. I’m reminded of the direct line to source versus the need

to meander to the left, right, and left again, and so on in such a time consuming fashion.

I’m learning that as an observer, the goal is to go underneath the mind. As well, from

reading the book, Voluntary Simplicity, I find out that the word consciousness literally

means “that which we know”. So, “to live consciously is to move through life with

conscious self-remembering” ( Elgin 128).

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Implications for myself: An awareness of the concept of auto pilot means that wherever I am, whatever conditions exist I can be in an opening towards the light with self-remembering, rather than in the consuming envelopment of both my own nature and learned behaviors around life.

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Chapter 7: Choice and Transformation

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September 22, 2016

STOP! I can’t. I need to push to get these reports done and then further write my MA and get ready for the move…STOP! If I don’t keep going I won’t be able to meet the deadlines…Breathe in and out….My schedule reads that I need to do this hour and a half of work before I have to go to the store and then start work and….Listen to your body! As I hear the word STOP scream at me again, all of a sudden something clicks and I go into my body and feel the pain of my head, my neck and shoulders, and my pinkie finger that still hasn’t recovered because of overuse after being broken. The release of tears then begins to flow. I observe my mind and the reality of the busyness of my world that has overtaken me. This thought shifts something inside of me with a bigger release of emotion and the feeling of relief that I’m finally paying attention again. Yahoo! Thank you! I acknowledge that these experiences are all part of not judging with those inner voices. As I leave the lake for the 45 minute drive to the store, I notice my breathing has slowed down and I feel calmer. I notice my mind reflecting on this experience, making connections, and questioning. ….Hey, your normal way of being during this time of year with store and your online work is to put your nose to the grindstone and ignore everything around you for 5 to 7 days, including your body…..this strategy has worked for the past 8 years even though balance is skewed…..Hmmm, why?

An awareness of how easy it is to be on auto pilot and in a trance with no thought

for consequences or long term effects gets affirmed for me through the skim reading of

the book, The Right Questions – Ten Essential Questions to Guide you to an

Extraordinary Life, by Debbie Ford. Through the use of questions, Ford argues that

choices can be made that can alter the direction of one’s life. In particular, two of the ten

questions listed in the book speak directly to me. First, will this choice add to my life

force or will it rob me of my energy? Second, am I choosing from my divinity or am I

choosing from my humanity? As I further read, about the implications of choice that

comes from my higher self versus lower self, and rewind my experiences with ATB both

online and in Auroville, I make a connection for myself on paper:

As I change myself, my surroundings and the entire universe can change, which

is a transformation of my human nature – as I am an agent of human evolution! As I pay

attention and make conscious choices, especially in relation to the beauty in all,

harmony, and good will, there can be greater ease with the integration of the inner and

outer. I can find value in the smallest events of my daily life, from which I am then able

to acknowledge and perceive something larger and beyond.

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Over the past two years, I’ve been on an investigation as it relates to an

understanding of Integral Education, through the completion of a course about Integral

Education in 2014 and then a three month Directed Studies to India in 2015: A Living

Experience of Integral Education in India. So, my engagement in this thesis brings

together and feels like a synthesis and assimilation of the courses that I’ve previously

engaged in. As well, I’ve recognized that there were pieces that were still in the

embryonic stage within my understanding, such as the following quote by Sri Aurobindo:

The Teacher of the Integral Yoga will follow as far as he may the method

of the Teacher within us. He will lead the disciple through the nature of the

disciple. Teaching, example, influence, - these are the three instruments

of the Guru. But the wise Teacher will not seek to impose himself or his

opinions on the passive acceptance of the receptive mind; he will throw in

only what is productive and sure as a seed which will grow under the

divine fostering within. He will seek to awaken much more than to

instruct….The example is more powerful than the instruction….Influence is

more important than example. Influence is not the outward authority of the

Teacher over his disciple, but the power of his contact, of his presence, of

the nearness of his soul to the soul of another….For the greatest Master is

much less a Teacher than a Presence…….(The True Teacher – Integral

Education Series 6 and 7).

In the manifestation of the higher nature of self, my desire is to let my own light

shine in a way that is natural and real. So, I started my quest with an interest in my own

presence and connection to inner and outer, and end still in that circle. My own

awareness has indeed been a process of learning that everything that I’ve needed is

already inside. The removal of layers means that my awareness is sharper and present

for select moments, even though not always in that space. However, my intent is to

awaken my soul and organize and integrate body, life, and mind around the soul.

While I was in Pondicherry, I read on a poster at the Sri Aurobindo Ashram

Visitor’s Center that, “The very first lesson in this yoga is to face life and its trials with a

quiet mind, a firm courage and an entire reliance on the Divine source” (Sri Aurobindo

Letters on Yoga Volume 2 631). These words of wisdom give me a feeling of courage

that when I’m facing difficulties in life, I can indeed make the choice to stop and be

quiet. Then with courage and aspiration I can surrender to something deeper

underneath, called the Divine, which I’ve learned is pure love.

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Upon reflection, an ‘opening for knowing or having an awareness of something’

means that one cannot return to not knowing. I’m no longer ignorant. In my eyes,

actions may not always mesh with a knowing, and yet reflecting and observing past

experiences, especially snippets from my journals, can indeed influence at the

appropriate time:

January 17, 2016

I’m very surprised at how challenging it has been for me to – Stop and take that minute to do the daily

challenge with the online ATB class. I actually ended up putting a sticky note on the fridge as a reminder.

Oh, I’ve just caught myself…’how interesting that instead of calling this the daily practice I’ve

subconsciously and automatically gone to daily challenge’. Hmmm, upon reflection this morning, I realize

that during class, I felt enveloped while being guided through the bodily and inner sensations and

experiences I was having, with my mind still. However, now that I’m engaging with these activities by

myself, I find my mind is in full force. After telling my mind…Stop….Breathe…when sitting on the

couch with our cat Marmalade….I felt calmer even though my breath felt caught in my throat. My

partner in observing my process and in conversation suggests that perhaps having a space enclosed i.e. the

bathroom with the mirror which is away from distractions might work. So, I make up a new sticky …a

green one and write breathe on it and post it on the mirror in the bathroom in my home here in Canada.

February 19, 2016

So, my journey to India started out with this statement:

I’m interested in the topic of awareness and ‘awakening of the soul’ and finding this in the noisy world I

live in!

Logically, I understand that one just needs to remember what is already there! However, this can be tricky

as culturally, I’ve learned how to be very active, busy, and noisy with the ‘doing’. So, learning the ‘being’

with stopping, focusing, and concentrating becomes the growth edge for me. Coming to live in an Ashram

or an intentional community seems to help align something within me, and snap me out that space of not

knowing to being consciously present. I’m noticing this question coming up for me this past week along

with some chatter: …..Why can’t I seem to remember all of this when I’m back home? It’s really quite

simple. As Mother wrote, a conscious and self directed evolution is obtained by a straight line rather than

the motion that goes back and forth and back and forth like a spiral to the top. Not that I don’t remember,

as I have different methods and practices but there are times when I’m not in that space. As well, my

partner is also in a different space than I am, and together we are creating a physical home. My nature

has been organized by past experiences (inner and the outer) which are all relevant and part of my path

just as his are……

Well, this morning I found an answer to my inquiry. I was in the Visitor’s Bureau getting a gate pass for

the playground and meditations. Before leaving, I took a few minutes to look at some of the posters that

were on the wall about Integral Yoga. This message below was by The Mother, and found on page 23 of

the MTW3:

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In the Integral Yoga, the integral life down even to the smallest detail has to be transformed, to be divinized. There is nothing here that is insignificant, nothing that is indifferent. You cannot say, “When I’m meditating, reading Philosophy or listening to these conversations I will be in this condition of an opening towards the light and call for it, but when I go out to walk and see my friends I can allow myself to forget all about it. To persist in this attitude means that you will remain untransformed and not have the true union; always you will be divided; you will have at best only glimpses of this greater life. For although certain experiences and realizations may come to you in meditation or in your inner consciousness, your body and your outer life will remain unchanged. An inner illumination that does not take any note of the body and the outer life, is of no great use, for it leaves the world as it is. Wow! So, I’m noticing my mind saying that it’s using my will to integrate the inner and the outer

together by calling on the Divine consciousness (which is love) and paying attention to my body and the

outer which is key. I’m still processing all of this and trying to understand.

Well, I returned home from India in a more inspired, harmonious, and enlightened

way. I know that the anecdotal evidence I collected for myself has had an effect on my

home and being! I’m more perceptive to what is happening behind my own inner and

outer movements. I think often of the space and time I had to just focus on the discovery

of the inner world which included my relationship both with self and the divine. Nothing

has changed inside, and in keeping with the goal of ATB which is a process, I’ve been

“provid[ed] [with] tools to expand consciousness, explore different planes, discover [my]

inner self…, and eventually psychic being” (Marti and Sala 20).

Also, I learned that the process of achieving a personal liberation by merging in

the self is not a linear process. Integral Yoga is about Karma yoga put into daily life,

which also combines knowledge and love and a letting go of my ego. The focal point

needs to be with the body and the Divine Consciousness in order for integration to

occur. I need to call down the powers. As I change myself, my surroundings and the

entire universe can change, which is a transformation of my human nature!

Implications for myself and as an educator: An awareness of choices, means that I’m then able to focus on self and consciousness with no worry for the outcome, as presence and energy will naturally flow outwards which then affects others around me.

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Chapter 8: Conclusion and Beginning

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Now, in keeping with the creation of a space for conclusions and based on

findings, three things come to mind:

First, I’ve come to realize that the ‘awakening of the soul’ and finding self in the

noisy world, is indeed about choice. As a strong visual learner, the above picture

sketched by The Mother to explain to a child the meaning of yoga, reminds me of the

straight forward nature of the answer in relation to the problem: “Man is at the bottom,

the Divine at the top. The wavy line is the path of the ordinary life, the straight line of

Yoga” (Perspectives for a New Millennium – last page).

Second, while engaged in field research in Auroville, I was able to look at my own

individual connection to ATB. However, during the process other questions certainly

arose that could be explored with future research projects, such as: a Phenomenology

study of several teachers engaged in the ATB experience or a Case Study of parents of

children who do ATB. The lack of written research on the topic opens up an abundance

of opportunities for further research.

Third, the research methodology employed, compared to quantitative can be said

to present challenges. The subjective nature is derived from the ‘interior’ and is not

measurable, rather relies on observation and description by the observer or participant.

As such, one of the pitfalls of the methodology of Narrative Inquiry, according to

Connelly & Clandinin, is “what we [they] have called “the Hollywood plot,” the plot where

everything works out well in the end” (10).

The above quote provides a natural segue for me into the concept of beginning.

As a Narrative Researcher, my journey has been about telling the stories and writing the

narratives of experience, but not for the purpose of others to read. Rather, the aim has

been to give an account of the multiple layers and levels in which my inquiry proceeded,

and give language to the living experience for myself. As such, my Narrative Inquiry is

not something that stops just because I’ve put words to paper for my Masters. I continue

to live, tell, and retell on a daily basis with a fluctuation of my level of awareness. I’ve

noted that my environment and stressors in my life continue to provide a growth edge

for me, as I focus attention on, and continue to arrange, and harmonize the various

individualities around my center. My understanding of my own nature has continued to

help integrate more with the inner and outer. Hearing the following quote, by The

Mother, which I saw posted on the bulletin board in the ATB room at the Udavi

Gentillesse School in Auroville, provides energy and the freedom for continued growth

with a daily fresh start:

“To become conscious of the various movements in oneself…is the indispensible

starting point”.

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Sunflower seeds purchased from the Auroville Nursery in India, grow in front of the lake

home in Canada. I see and return ‘home’!

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Aurobindo and the Mother on Education. Pondicherry: Sri Aurobindo Ashram

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BC Ministry of Education Governance and Legislative Branch. “Statement of Education

Policy Order”. Vancouver: BC Ministry of Education, 1989.

Connelly, Michael F. and Jean D. Clandinin. “Stories of Experience and Narrative

Inquiry.” Educational Researcher 19.5 (1990): 2 – 14

<http://www.jstor.org/stable/1176100>.

Creswell, John W. Ed. Qualitative Inquiry and Research Design: Choosing among Five

Approaches 2nd Edition. Thousand Oakes, CA: Sage Publications. 2006.

Elgin, Duane. Voluntary Simplicity – Toward a Way of Life That is Outwardly Simple,

Inwardly Rich. New York: Quill William Morrow. 1993.

Ford, Debbie. The Right Questions – Ten Essential Questions to Guide you to an

Extraordinary Life. New York: Harper Collins. 2003.

Marti, Aloka and Joan Sala. Awareness through the Body – A Way to Enhance

Concentration, Relaxation and Self-knowledge in Children and Adults. Auroville:

Sri Aurobindo International Institute of Educational Research. 2006.

Macleod, Margo. SD 538 Class Notes – Awareness through the Body.

Online: Self Design Graduate Institute. 2016.

McLean, Sarah. Soul Centered. New York: Hay House, Inc. 2012.

Mehling, Wolf, et al. “Body Awareness: A Phenomenological Inquiry into the

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