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SharingSharing JulyAugust 2016JulyAugust 2016JulyAugust 2016

touchingtouchingtouching l ivesl ivesl iveshelliphelliphelliphealing healing healing heartsheartsheartshelliphelliphellipgiving giving giving hopehopehope

Relationships Relationships Relationships

Staying Connected with Staying Connected with Staying Connected with

Loved Ones Loved Ones Loved Ones

After a LossAfter a LossAfter a Loss

We hope this issue brings you comfort

and hope for the future

Dear Friends

Summertime is here in the St Louis area but blessedly the heat and humidity that we are known for in this region has been rather slow to appear We like many places in the country had our share of rainy days and as a result the warm summer sunshine is even more greatly appreciated We hope this summer finds you surrounded with the color and warmth that the rain and the sunshine have fostered

In the National Share office we are shifting into our summer schedule trying to accommodate vacations camp schedules and family activities for everyone while maintaining a supportive presence to our community when we are needed We all feel so privileged to be a part of sharing an understanding healing message with those who reach out to us It is important to each of us that the care of our families be our greatest priority and that those relationships with our Share community are nurtured at all times

As I reflect on this simple desire to maintain relationship it seems to capture the essence of the theme of this issue Maintaining our relationships through our grief process can be an effort that requires us to be very intentional When we are grieving we may not feel like engaging or even dragging ourselves out to be with others when what we may most need is the anchor of another caring person The temptation may be to isolate ourselves in our grief and pain telling ourselves that no one could possibly understand

Yes it is a truth that each person experiences grief uniquely and no one completely understands the impact grief has on another individual Yet our community of caring is brimming with those who have walked at least some of the steps of your path It takes courage and sometimes genuine effort to take some of those steps early in the journey We know from many years and many families that the support of others who do understand and who desire to help us can have a huge impact on our progress towards hope and healing after the loss of a precious baby

We also know that the relationships we choose to surround ourselves with can change looking and feeling very different than those we had or may have chosen prior to our loss Our lives have changed We have changed Thus our needs in friendships and relationships have changed as well Sometimes we can find what we need in relationships with those we were close with previously and sometimes it may be in new relationships altogether

In supporting you as a grieving parent we encourage you to seek out those relationships that are comfortable supportive and encouraging to you on your path to healing This issue offers stories of relationships in transition stories of those who struggled to find a new normal those who were offered strength and a shoulder when needed and those sharing examples of the power of a precious little one to forever leave an imprint on our hearts and in the relationships of our lives

We hope that for each of you there are those relationships sustaining you through the valleys of your sadness and beside you all along your path as you reclaim your life in often very new ways We at Share are here for the journey and honor our relationship with you as a part of what we consider to be a large family of understanding grace and support

Blessings to you and your family

Behind the Scenes

Rose Carlson

Program Director

Jennifer Stachula

Training amp Resource

Assistant

Page 2 Vo lu me 2 5 I ss u e 4

Debbie Cochran RN

Executive Director

Miranda Coker

Support Group

Facilitator

Patti Budnik

Bereavement Care

Manager

Jaclyn Nikodym

Development amp PR

Associate

Sarah Lawrenz

Development

Director

Debbie Cochran RN

Vicki Kiefer

Accounting Manager

Lynne Wuelling

Administrative

Assistant

Shannon Sebastian

Development and

Event Assistant

Annie Horton

Chapter Coordinator

In Every Issue Dear Friendshelliphelliphelliphelliphelliphelliphelliphelliphelliphellip2

Thank You for Your Giftshelliphelliphellip8

PagehellipTitle 4helliphelliphelliphellipBook Review

4helliphelliphelliphellipChoosing One Another

5helliphelliphelliphellipShare Chapter Spotlight amp A Special Thanks

6helliphelliphelliphellipHis Loss My Husbandrsquos Take on Miscarriage

7helliphelliphelliphellipHis Loss My Husbandrsquos Take on Miscarriage (continued)

9helliphelliphelliphellipOur Friends are Worth It

10helliphelliphellipSharersquos Trainings

11helliphellip Share Espantildeol Esperanza

11helliphelliphellipSharersquos Support Pages

11helliphelliphellipSharersquos Resources

12helliphellipHope for Myranda

12helliphellipHow Do You Welcome New Babies

13helliphellipHow Do You Welcome New Babies - Continued

14helliphellipHelping Others Help You

15helliphelliphellipExperience the International Perinatal Bereavement Conference

16helliphelliphellipHow My Marriage Changed After Miscarriage

17helliphelliphellipHow My Marriage Changed After Miscarriage (continued)

20helliphellip2016 Share Walk for Remembrance amp Hope

Contents

Sharing is the official newsletter of Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support Inc copy 1997



Choosing One Another By Justine Brooks Froelker

Featured Book Too Soon a Memory By Pat Schwiebert RN

Think back to your wedding day or the day you publicly declared you were choosing one another

What do you remember thinking

For most of us we dreamed of children in our future We for sure did not dream of the struggle of infertility and loss throughout that dream

However I would also bet children were not the only reason you stood across from one another on that day and choose each other On that day you chose to do life with your spouse or partner You chose to be the witness to their life

I am willing to bet you did not choose each other to only procreate

But I must ask especially for those of us who have walked the road of infertility and loss are you still choosing each other

No matter what your life looks like now the struggle to conceive children loss and so much more are you still choosing each other

Chapter 6 ldquoReigniting the Sparkrdquo is one of the most commented on chapters of my book Ever Upward In this chapter I write about how I planned a whole year of dates for my husband Chad and I I gave it to him as his Christmas present after our infertility and loss journey ended without our own children I planned a date for every month of the year tickets were purchased and dates chosen

Four years later this is a tradition albeit a priority we still practice although it looks a little different

January is our annual at-home wine tasting date I purchase several bottles of wine under a certain price point and we do a blind tasting at home together over dinner The idea is to find our favorite cheap bottle of wine for home While we eat and drink we plan the year of dates ahead of us together

No matter what is happening in life that date will observed and made a priority

Sometimes life does get in the way and our date has to be a day of

working in the yard together followed by dinner and our favorite show Sometimes dates will have to incorporate real life The difference between a real life day and that date though You are actually truly present and engaged with your partner

It is true quality time

So whether it is something more extravagant like a nice dinner out before the symphony or a night in watching Netflix we choose it together We are present together We are loving and choosing one another

When is the last time you did that for your partner for yourself

If you would like ideas on starting

your own Year of Dates tradition

feel free to follow me on social

media as I post our monthly dates

Irsquod love to hear your ideas for a

great date night

Justine can be found on all social

media outlets Purchase her book

Ever Upward or read her blog at

everupwardorg

Too Soon A Memory provides practical information for couples facing grief following a miscarriage This book will validate those who are deeply affected by their loss as well as those who will move quickly through their grief Helpful medical information and grieving tips are included

You can purchase this helpful book from the Share online catalog by clicking here httpswwwz2systemscomnpclientsshareproductjspproduct=77ampcatalogId=9amp


The son of Metro Detroit Sharersquos secretary Jennifer Mast wrote an essay explaining why he should receive money for his charity of choice Evan Mollett is such an incredible young man and won the

essay with his powerful story Jennifer also assists in the facilitation of the Taylor meeting and is integral in the planning amp coordination of events

Read the full entry to the right

Share Chapter Spotlight Metro Detroit Share

On May 4th several Share staff and their family members made their way to Busch Stadium to receive a grant from Cardinals Care This $2700 grant will be used to create an art therapy book for children that have lost a sibling The weather was amazing and the kids got an opportunity to meet Fred Bird

Thank you mightily to all the friends and families that joined us on June 15th to support Share at Buffalo Wild Wings The restaurant donated 15 of the proceeds from those who came out to have wings and support a good cause

A very special thank you to Mid Town Home Im-provements for their generous donation of $5000 We are so grateful for your generosity and the place Share holds in the heart of your company

A Special Thankshellip


This is a post Irsquove been thinking about for a while now Loss and the grieving process is so uniquendash so nonlinear so unexpected And it can be just as individual between partners experiencing the same event I asked my husband Kyle Martino to write his most honest most unapologetic account of losing our baby at nine and a half weeks pregnant It was hard for me to read because it brought back the challenges of that time both within myself and between us But itrsquos real and beautiful And helpful I think I hope it inspires some generosity of spirit some empathy some honesty in others This is his story

ldquoI lost the babyhelliprdquo

Therersquos no way to prepare for those words I was standing in line to check in to my hotel in Greenwich Connecticutndash the same mindless task I sleepwalk through every weekendndash when my phone rang When I heard those words out of Evarsquos mouth I sprung awake from my travelerrsquos daze I was shocked The first emotion I felt was Guilt Of course this happened while I was awayndash every time Eva needs me most I seem to be on a plane or in a different time zone Almost instantly after Guilt came Angerndash her phrase kept repeating in my head over and over Irsquom not sure if she kept saying it or if I couldnrsquot hear anything else she said over that phrase echoing in my ears and in my soul Years of shielding myself from emotional discomfort

has trained me to move immediately to logic And so I began the calming method of systematically breaking down the sentence I kept hearing over and over ldquoBabyhellipThe Babyhelliplost the babyhellipI lost the babyhelliprdquo It was her fault I was overcome with a quick wave of judgment and blame Why did she let this happen What did she do wrong Why did she let me get on that plane Angerndash that hollow pointless emotion was the shield I was holding so not to feel what I knew I couldnrsquot handle Holding on to that Anger distracted me from the actual emotion I was

feeling The sadness I wasnrsquot mad at Eva at all I was mad that I wasnrsquot there in the moment she needed me more than ever I walked over to a couch in the lobby and let this sink in I began to cry for the first time in my adult life (Yeah donrsquot worry my therapist is all over that one) I cried because Eva said ldquoIrdquo ldquoI lost the babyrdquo Of course she didnrsquot lose the baby This wasnrsquot her fault There was nothing she could do In fact she couldnrsquot have done more to make

sure her body was the healthiest it could have been to nurture life It broke my heart that she felt responsible in that very first moment of griefndash and I didnrsquot understand why she couldnrsquot see what I did that having a healthy baby is a miracle and we canrsquot choose when and where that miracle happens

These feelings continued in to the immediate aftermath of the miscarriage While she re-wound the tape on her pregnancy and looked for errors I appreciated her body for doing the right thing by closing the book on a miracle not

meant to be We were on totally different pagesndash which drove a wedge between us Itrsquos the same difference that existed when Eva was pregnant with our daughter Marlowe Eva made a connection with Marlowe well before I did A tangible bond that only those two people can understand Eva and Marlowe were Soul Mates the second she heard that heart beat and if you ask Eva she would probably say even before that If Irsquom

being honest I never really accepted that we were having a child until a third trimester ultrasound showed Marlowe waving at the camera It hit me right there in that moment that I would be a Fatherndash but Eva had long been a Mother already When she called me with the shattering news of this pregnancy she already knew her baby and had been taking care of it In Evarsquos mind she was already the Mother of two That connection I was referring to the

His Loss My Husbandrsquos Take on Our Miscarriage By Kyle Martino


bond it was broken that dayndash and Eva was absolutely devastated I know that losing our child was not Evarsquos fault but I understand now why she felt it was Miscarriage to the unlucky ones who have been through that heartache is a very isolating experience Eva withdrew for a while after it happened I tried to be there for her but I wasnrsquot able to relate to her specific pain My heart was broken in a different wayndash and nothing I could do or say was helping It was only when Eva decided to do something very brave in her saddest moment that the cloud over us was lifted Eva decided she needed to talk about ithellipwith everyone

Eva told our story on her blog and put our heartache out there for all to read When she first decided to share I thought it was a bad idea I thought miscarriage was a rare misfortune and that the few who experienced it suffered privately with curtains drawn As far as I knew miscarriage wasnrsquot something you talked about I mean no one had ever mentioned to me that they had been through it I had never read of someonersquos personal experience anywhere Was it really safe and smart to tell so many people such intimate truths about your pain I didnrsquot voice my concerns with sharing because I had been so inept at providing support in those crucial moments so farndash I knew I needed to support whatever desire she had The decision had been made She wrote it Evarsquos post went live and we sat there silently I could definitely sense that there was a weight lifted off her but I feared the response

could reverse the initially positive effects Then immediately the support came pouring in And Irsquom not talking about the ldquoIrsquom sorry for your loss I canrsquot imagine how hard that isrdquo supportndash (although that was also very much appreciated) Irsquom talking about the ldquowersquove been there ourselves we are here for you if you need usrdquo support I was blown away by how many of her readers wrote back with their own deeply sad stories of pregnancy loss Then the phone started ringing Some of my closest friends began revealing to me one by one their own experiences with miscarriage These were people I spoke to every day and I hadnrsquot had a clue It felt so good to talk about what we were going throughndash and the fact that others not only knew what we were going through but had found a way through it was so uplifting What had felt like an action that would add shame to our heartbreak turned out to be the most cathartic experience imaginable I was able to be honest and talk with friends about the guilt I still carried for my earlier feelings of blamendash the insecurity I felt about not hurting the same way as Eva didndash the worry I still shoulder that it could happen to us again A Ccmmunity was started a conduit through which Sadness Regret Hope Gratitude and Love flowed freely At our wedding Evarsquos Mom said something that really struck me at the time In her speech she told us ldquoWe are your Tribe Use usrdquo In the aftermath of our loss we established a new Communityndash a kind of reformulation of our

relationships with those already a part of it and the addition of people met through our shared experiences

We used this Community to get through the hardest moment of our marriage I was able to access a lot of understanding through my discussions with other dads and Eva got a lot of strength from the strength of the women who came before her in their own grieving processes The encouragement compassion and love we both received from some important people around us gave us the courage to turn back to each other for support and to heal the disconnect that was weakening our marriage And as with many of our struggles we came out the other side stronger together in our loss than we could ever be apart I will never feel the same way as Eva about losing our baby I have my experience and she has hers I have my process and she has hers I donrsquot think about it oftenndash but Eva does She thinks about the baby we lost every day And so we move forward two broken hearts on the mendndash with a beautiful miracle of a child by our side and one other just out of our reach

You can read the full blog Eva writes at wwwhappilyevaaftercom and find this post at

httphappilyevaaftercomhis-loss-my-husbands-take-on-our-miscarriage

His Loss My Husbandrsquos Take on Our Miscarriage (continued)

Thank You for Your Gifts


In Memory ofhellip Corynn Hannah Boresi Happy 9th birthday in Heaven Corynn With love from your family By Joy amp Mike Boresi Lillian Grace Burke In memory of Lily on her birthday We love you sweet girl We miss you so By Nora LaFata Patrick James Gannon By Cindy amp Gene Gannon Baby Grooms By Tina Yakubowski Miquelina Hagedorn By Kathleen Hagedorn Max Hengst Sean and Stacey this small donation is in memory of your beloved Baby Max By Rose and Floyd Nasuti Tommy Henriksen By Rachel amp Brad Hauck Octavia amp Abigail Mangrum By Chris Roedel Braxson Amar Monroe By Denisha Hudgins Christian P Neto By Elsa Neto Marley Caroline Neville By Roy Burch Catherine Orr Always thinking of you guys By John Gunn Emilia Vera Pfaff Dear Justin and Kristina please know there are friends who care No words could ever express our sorrow for your loss Sending you love from Kelly and Don By Kelly Anderson By Jeannette Neumann Jordyn Tyse-Dallas Sander By Kelly Wroblewski Mathilda Hap Saulmon By Don Williams Erwin F Sonderegger In loving memory By Ann amp Frank Lehmann

Corey J Swinney By Corrine Swinney Finn Thilenius By Lummez Sales Company Jacob Thompson Ive made a donation to Share National in memory of Jacob and in honor of Mothers Day amp Fathers Day Love Hilary By Hilary Shirven Coleman Urzi Love the Staff at 6246 By Vicky Woolfolk Hunter Charles Webb By Betsy Webb Ruth Weingart By Bev amp Mike LaFata My unborn child (unnamed) By Anita Myles Zager Baby May your babys memory be a blessing to you both and may each day bring you more and more strength and love for each other By Carolyn Schrier

In Honor ofhellip Katherine Bunnell Katherine thank you for all your hard work YOU AMAZE ME Im so proud of you By Morgan Cullen Gina Haney By Jerry amp Merrill Fromme

Friends of Sharehellip Morgana Bailey

Jeffery Baughman

Tracy Benteen

Shannon Blake

Angela Bohovic

Bob Brossette

Patti Budnik

Danielle Burch

Meredith Byers

Christina Carpenter

Thomas Carter

Debbie Cochran

Marsha Cole

Raymond DAuria

Beverly Dembski

Tom and Marlene Evans

Mark Fuller

Brenda Hampton

Brian Henry

Kathy Herget

Jill Herschbach

Louise Hong

Linda Jenkins

Vicki Kiefer

Gregory Klaus

Charles Koesterer Amber Kraus

Andrea Kroll

Hospital Sisters of St Francis

Catherine Lammert

Sarah Lawrenz

Mike Margherio

Chris McCormick

Tammy and Brian L OlsonThileneis Amy Parsons Laurie Peacock

Susan Petzel

David J Reinhart

Megan Rowekamp

Laura Santos

Devon Siyajuck

Mary Kay Spencer

Corinne Stephens

Lori Taber

Emily Thomas

Britni Weindel

Dan amp Lauren Williams

Danielle Williams

Cardinals Care

St Lukes Hospital

Bravelets

Belden Corporate

Schnucks

Amazon Smile

Aetna Foundation

Church of St Rose of Lima

We are so grateful for your donations in memory of your babies loved

and missed Thank you

To donate please visit

wwwnationalshareorg


When I had my first miscarriage three of my friends were pregnant We had been friends since high school and while our lives had taken divergent paths we had remained friends through college and boyfriends and broken hearts and nutty professors and new boyfriends and fianceacutes We cried when one of us wasnt chosen to pledge a sorority We were bridesmaids in each others weddings We were by each others sides with wine and chocolate when one of us broke an ankle or had to say goodbye to a beloved pet We comforted each other when there were deaths in our family or our circle of high school friends We called ourselves the Four Musketeers and vowed we would be friends until we were old ladies with blue hair

Then we all became pregnant one by one over the course of a few months We texted each other daily and set up a group on facebook just for us to keep up with each others pregnancies We joked about how one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage and decided that was for other people not us And then it was one of us The joke was on me but there was no joke in that

At the time my friends were so supportive and caring and loving One of them flew out to visit me the next weekend as a surprise She was a few months ahead of me and she had no idea that looking at her cute little round belly would break my heart every time I looked at her

The weekend ended she flew home and I began avoiding each one of my friends I didnt look at our facebook group and I began to dread their calls and texts And I felt like the worlds most terrible friend I couldnt understand what was wrong with me I couldnt understand how I could almost hate the women who had been there for me through so much but I did

I hated them I loved them but I hated them And it really wasnt even their fault

Less than three months later I became pregnant again I

breathed a sigh of relief called each of my friends one by one and told them I was once again a member of their special club They all breathed a sigh of relief too Two of my friends were far enough along that they knew they were having baby boys The other friend did not know what the sex of her baby was and we teased the other two that we would have girls who would marry the boys We laughed about being mothers in law someday

Just a few weeks after I passed the point of my first miscarriage the first of my friends gave birth to her little boy We gathered around our friends hospital bed and took turns kissing him and vowing to be his aunties until we were old and senile The happiness in the room was palpable and we placed our hands on each others bellies as we toasted with plastic champagne flutes of sparkling grape juice

I went home dreaming of the day my friends would gather around MY hospital bed kissing and loving MY precious little baby who would be swaddled in a soft pink blanket

The next day at work the cramping and bleeding started I was 13 weeks pregnant and I thought I was safe

I wasnt safe Later that night I gave birth to a thumb-sized baby in the emergency room at the same hospital where my friend lay snuggling her newborn son just a few floors up

Once again my friends really did try to be there for me They just didnt know how I wasnt always very nice to them and they eventually gave up and began avoiding me as much as I avoided them

Over the next months each of their babies arrived pink and screaming They all gathered around each others hospital beds but one of us was missing Me

couldnt be there to joyfully welcome my friends babies when I couldnt welcome my own And they didnt

understand I received texts and emails and cards telling me how much I hurt them by not being there for them I wanted to tell them how much I hurt when they werent there for me

I would like to be able to write that my story has a happily-evershyafter ending that I soon joined my friends in the motherhood club but I have since had 3 more miscarriages-5 altogether One of my friends now has two beautiful children All of my friends have full arms and lives and my arms and home are still empty

In one way though my story does have a happy ending Despite all of the loss hurt tears and distance between us we remain friends Our friendship has changed though It hasnt been an easy road thats for sure We have all worked together to maintain our friendships even though the threads that connect us are tenuous and fragile at times The reason I have been able to stay friends with them at all are many and varied One reason is because I came to the realization that they were each so important to me and I couldnt imagine my life without them However the main reason our friendships have survived because we have all had to learn how to not only be completely honest with each other but we have had to learn how to really listen to each other as well

I had to learn how to tell them how I really feel and I had to do it in a non-threatening way I had to take a step back and realize that my friends were not intentionally trying to hurt me that they really did want to help they just didnt know how So I had to learn how to nicely tell them they were hurting my feelings without making them feel attacked In turn I had to also learn how to listen to them When they apologized for accidentally hurting my feelings I had to accept their apologies and not hold onto the hurt I felt When they cried and told me they missed me I had to allow myself to cry too and admit I missed them as well

(continued on 7)

Our Friends are Worth It By Redlynn Kaufmann-Townsend


Please join us for The Caring Companion Workshop

When November 12 - 13 2016 Where Community Commons St Peters MO

What is The Caring Companion Workshop The Caring Companion workshop is a two-day training seminar designed to educate and prepare parent volunteers to provide peer support to a family experiencing the loss of a baby This workshop will provide a Companion with the education and hands-on skills to work with bereaved families at the hospital bedside to provide phone support to accompany in support groups and throughout the grief process

Who can be a Companion A Companion is a parent who has also experienced the loss of a baby and who wishes to guide and support a newly bereaved family through their

journey from the hospital bedside through the grieving process

Curriculum Through this workshop the Companion will explore the unique grief process of bereaved parents siblings and grandparents following a perinatal loss Alongside Share staff and educators a Companion will examine the Rights of the Parents and Rights of the Baby and the important role one has in memory making at this tragic time Hands-on skills for memory making are included in the workshop These topics are geared towards the development of caregiving in a knowledgeable and empathetic manner Special focus will also be given to providing aftercare support tending to a family beyond the hospital and proving guidance through the days and months that follow their loss

Who Should Attend This workshop is intended for

bereaved parents who wish to work at the bedside with newly bereaved parents If you are interested in offering this type of peer support volunteering your time and experience with families who are grieving the loss of their baby please consider attending The Caring Companion Workshop Please be aware that we ask all interested in being a Companion to wait 18 months after their personal loss before attending this training

Costs Each Registrant $350 Fees include all workshop materials snacks and lunch

How Can I Register To register click here or call the National Share office at (636) 947-6164

For more information please email companionnationalshareorg or visit wwwnationalshareorg

Upcoming Training Caring Companion Workshop By National Share Office

Sharing amp Caring Perinatal Bereavement Training

A message from Sharersquos Bereavement Care Manager Patti Budnik RN BSN The Sharing and Caring training is always true to its name The topic of Perinatal Bereavement can be both intimidating and emotional The Share staff strives to make the training a relaxed atmosphere to foster a sharing of stories and a solid educational experience

With every training I am always excited to meet the compassionate group of caregivers that are attending We have been blessed to have amazing groups of nurses counselors social workers physicians first responders funeral directors chaplains and clergy The diversity of the attendees makes for an incredible and rich learning experience

Please join us for our next Sharing amp Caring September 6 7 amp 8 2016 This training provides individuals with the tools needed to work with families who have experienced the heartbreaking death of a baby through early pregnancy loss stillbirth or within the first few months of life

The sessions explore pertinent topics such as the rights of parents understanding the grief process how to run a support group effectively and how to gain the support of hospital staff

This workshop is open to anyone who wants to start their own Share Chapter chaplains social workers counselors genetic counselors doulas midwives nurses and parent

advocates and other community caregivers

This workshop has been approved by the Missouri Nurses Association and the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) to grant 1775 contact hours to those who attend

Costs $500 per registrant 2 or more registrants $400 each Fees include all workshop materials snacks beverages and lunch on Tuesday and Wednesday

Workshop Location Spencer Road Community Commons St Peters MO 63376

For more information please visit httpnationalshareorgactattend-trainingsharing-caring


Are you aware that Share offers monitored closed online support groups for bereaved parents

These groups are a safe place to share your feelings and experiences as well as find support through other bereaved parents You must request membership to participate in these groups and posts are only visible to other group members

Share Bereaved Families Peer Support httpswwwfacebookcomgroups319028378113275

Share Subsequent Pregnancy Peer Support httpswwwfacebookcomgroups319028378113275

Share Espantildeol Esperanza httpswwwfacebookcomgroupsEspanolEsperanza

Feel free to pass along this information to anyone you feel would benefit from its contents

Share Support Pages

Have you had a chance to take a look at Shares online

catalog There are so many helpful resources guides

books journals and brochures Our newly designed

Share Informational brochures cover so many topics

including

General Information about Share

Early Pregnancy Loss

When a Baby is Born Still

Lactation After Loss

Childrens Grief

Ways to Support a Parent When a Baby Has Died

Grandparents Grief

The Loss of A Newborn

Creating Keepsakes When a Baby Dies

Special Days

A Fathers Grief

Understanding The Grief Process

Share Companions

For ordering information please visit https

wwwz2systemscomnpclientsshareproductjsp

product=136ampcatalogId=7amp

Share Pregnancy amp Infant Loss Support would like to share with you a new resource for Spanish-speaking families

Share Espantildeol Esperanza

This Share group is intended to serve Spanish-speaking families along their grief journey after the loss of a baby through pregnancy loss stillbirth or neonatal death We often serve parents grandparents siblings and others in the family unit as well as the professionals who care for grieving families Our current services for Share Espantildeol Esperanza include a webpage - httpnationalshareorgshare-espanolesperanza an online

Facebook support community resource packets and brochures and support through the National Share Office

We will continue to update our resources and will keep you posted as that happens In the meantime we invite you to visit the Facebook Page httpswwwfacebookcomgroupsEspanolEsperanza and to download any of the below support brochures

Share Resources

About Share Espantildeol Esperanza


My husband and I experienced 4 miscarriages within a 17 year period It was difficult for me to talk to family and friends about our losses In my experience lsquosomersquo family members and friends werenrsquot comforting at all they didnrsquot always say the right things After having multiple miscarriages people begin to talk I always felt that I had to guard myself against the negativity Unfortunately this caused me to avoid the conversation with those who truly cared about my well-being I found that strangers gave me encouraging words along the way

Most of all my connection with God helped me heal from grief He gave me peace I connected with Him through journaling One day I ripped a page out of my journal and buried it in the sand while on the beach I asked Him ldquoWhat must I do to get pregnant stay pregnant and give birthrdquo

Throughout the years He gave me a few comforting dreams about our future baby Several years ago I dreamed of my future daughter In the dream I was upset with her because she wasnrsquot getting along with her younger brother She looked at

me with tear filled eyes and said ldquoBut hersquos so immaturerdquo

Dreams like these gave me hope I would write down my dreams in my journal and reflect on them when ever I felt down My husband was also an encouragement to me He also had dreams about us having a child

On February 17 2015 our dreams of having a child came true God blessed us with a precious baby girl named Myranda Larraine I cried tears of joy when I heard her cry for the first time

Hope for Myranda By Danielle Brown-Davis

How could anyone experience anything but joy when a new baby is born into their family The answer is quite simple when they have endured the loss of such a tiny and most precious life Years ago when I lost my very first baby to polycystic ovarian syndrome my entire world seemed to contain pregnant women at every turn Baby shower invitations seemed to arrive weekly and my pregnant best friend avoided me because I made her uncomfortable I subsequently was blessed with two wonderful healthy children but I was always cognizant of that feeling of isolation when my children and I were around women trying to conceive I lost a second baby shortly after my new sister-in-law lost her first pregnancy I was hoping that my experiences would be of some help to her but she withdrew into depression my children probably making her emptiness feel bigger When I was blessed shortly afterward with another chance at

life I was very aware of the feelings my sister-in-law must be battling I knew just being at the same family events would be awkward for both of us So I was elated when she herself became pregnant a month later How exciting to have cousins a month apart Due to our shared infertility disorders and the scarring effects of losing our children we were both very nervous and full of trepidation in the first trimester When I passed the twelve week point I was elated to enjoy being pregnant yet was still worried for my sister-in-law We went to the same doctor and on the day of her eleven week check-up we went together because we had back-to-back appointments We planned to go to lunch afterward to celebrate her passing safely into the second trimester Little did I suspect that while we sat in the waiting room gleefully chatting about our pregnancies and enjoying our new-found sisterhood that our relationship was about to take a drastic turn At this point in my story you might imagine that my sister-in-law lost her

baby No the stark reality of my unsuspected loss at sixteen weeks came crashing in with the words ldquoI canrsquot find a heartbeat Irsquom sorryrdquo My sister-in-law was sent home while I spent hours sobbing in my doctorrsquos office Early in the grieving process I moaned ldquoHow can I witness my sister-in-lawrsquos life growing inside while mine has been ripped away How can I watch her son grow up seeing my son in everything he does How can I watch the rest of my family joyfully await his arrival and then fawn over him at every family gatheringrdquo Those of us who have endured this heart-wrenching experience know that family members can say careless and hurtful things in an attempt to ldquofixrdquo our pain I expected my sister-in-law to be no different However after two weeks of not calling me for fear that I might actually answer the phone she put aside that fear and reached out to me

We spent an hour on the phone crying about both of our losses (in

How Do You Welcome New Babies By Christina Rearick


my self-centered pain I had failed to realize she was still grieving her first child) and a special sister bond had been formed My most treasured memory of my son Michael is the poem (composed by Mommy) and ultrasound pictures that we arranged and framed together it truly was a labor of love and tears

My sister-in-lawrsquos bold and courageous first move had saved and even strengthened our relationship She truly understood and acknowledged my loss and I was able to include myself in family gatherings except for onehellipthe baby shower As my sister-in-law was new to the area and didnrsquot know many people she really wanted me to share in her day but understood if I could not Then a wonderful solution happened I became pregnant again I rejoiced at both the miracle and the escape from the awkwardness As long as I knew life was growing inside me I was able to withstand the painful memories and the expected arrival of my nephew I was thankfully enabled to be truly joyful with my sister-in-law But once again the vision of cousins happily playing together was shattered Two weeks before the shower I lost baby Sarah and decided that would be my final attempt at one last child Needless to say my absence was

acutely noted at the shower

While my sister-in-law has been arranging the nursery I have been packing mine away Some things have gone to charity some have gone to my expected nephew While I was reading my Share newsletter about surviving the holidays without our babies my nephew Liam was born Once again I asked ldquoHow can anyone feel anything but joy when a new baby is born into their familyrdquo I was relieved to hear that all was well with mom and baby yet I felt of twinge of pain listening to my husband talk gleefully to his brother on the phone I did not detect one ounce of sadness in his voice That night I slept in the maternity shirt I wore the day my son was taken from me in the hospital I silently cried myself to sleep The next day I sat huddled on the floor of the shower letting the water run down my face I tasted salt and realized that much of the water was made of tears I lost all composure and remembered sitting in that same spot in the shower the day I lost my son I felt ashamed for not being joyous I felt angry for not being able to share my sister-in-lawrsquos joy And I most definitely felt the great void of someone missing I prayed to the Lord for mercy and compassion for courage and strength

I changed my mind twenty times that day trying to decide whether or not I should visit the baby in the hospital or wait one week for our families to gather at our house for Thanksgiving There was no doubt that seeing that precious little life would break my heart but I decided to go to the hospital I wanted the experience to be as private as possible not with fifteen pairs of eyes staring at me wondering how I would react My sister-in-law asked if I wanted to hold Liam and I surprised myself by saying ldquoYesrdquo He felt so warm and had that smell I that I remembered oh so well As I gently stroked his little toes my three year old son bluntly said ldquoMommyrsquos babies diedrdquo I felt the warm tears well up and I looked into my sister-in-lawrsquos eyes

My little boy in his innocence had said what no one else had the courage to say He acknowledged the life that was lost as real not forgotten I saw the compassion in my sister-in-lawrsquos eyes and at that moment of silent exchange I realized I would be able to survive God had used my little boy as a tool to start the healing process for all of us and with His grace the journey towards peace began

How Do You Welcome New Babies (continued)


Sipping coffee and sitting across from a long time friend we talked about the weather her kids our jobs and our husbands With each break in the conversation I hoped she would ask about Joseph and Grace I hoped shed ask about how I am navigating the grieving process ask how it felt to be back at work when I was supposed to be on maternity leave ask what it feels like to celebrate Mothers Day with my children in heaven instead of on earth But she didnt And I lacked the words to bring it up I know this friend loved me and cared about how I was doing but she lacked the words too

After our twins were stillborn my husband and I felt more connected than ever In the span of a few short days we had fumbled through so much hearing the fatal diagnosis enduring labor and birth holding meeting and blessing our beautiful babies planning a funeral We had shared a powerful experience and our love for each other had instantly grown deeper and stronger I connected to Ryan but disconnected from everyone else

As always in life some people responded to our loss with beauty and grace knowing just what to say Others armed with great intentions didnt know what to do For the first time in my life I felt like I was on a different page from those around me My close friends my siblings my parents didnt seem to get it Frustration fueled feelings of loneliness Dwelling in this place didnt ease my grief or support my healing but made it worse

After much prayer and reflection I realized I needed to focus inwardly This was a tough situation one with no perfect protocol It was uncharted territory for me my family and friends Instead of thinking what can people do for me I challenged myself to ask What can I do to help others support me

Honesty I wanted people to read my mind and was angry when they couldnt I didnt know what I was feeling or what I needed but I expected other people to know I was desperate for others to talk about my babies when people assumed they shouldnt bring them up I felt like I shouldnt have to spell it out for people but it was only once I was honest that I was able to be supported by others in a helpful way Clearly explaining my feelings and offering specific examples of what would be helpful was invaluable

Gratitude It is always easier to get along with someone when you remember why you are grateful for them One of the beautiful lessons I had learned from Joseph and Grace was how precious each life is including the lives of my friends and family I needed to be grateful for what they had done for me not just in this chapter but throughout my whole life

I also needed to be grateful for the efforts of many Instead of focusing on what I didnt have or wasnt getting from others I could be grateful for what I did have a loving husband a compassionate doctor an understanding boss a thoughtful nurse who took photos of my children They deserved my gratitude

Patience I began to think about how I had supported others in the past A friends father had died and although I paid my respects I had not known what to say I didnt follow up with her in the coming weeks or months I didnt mention her father when we talked Maybe that is what she needed Even with the best intentions I realized I had many times fallen short of supporting others- not out of a lack of compassion but a lack of awareness I needed to have patience with those around me as we all learn through this experience

Bring it upndash Most people are very willing to talk and listen when I make the first move Try saying something simple like ldquoIve been thinking a lot about Joseph and Grace lately

Set the tone Before getting together with a friend send a quick text or email saying either ldquoI am really looking forward to getting together I could really use a fun night out and a few laughsrdquo or rdquo I am really looking forward to getting together After a long week I could really use a chance to talk to you about how Irsquove been feeling latelyrdquo

Be specific It isnt fair to have expectations of people without communicating with them Try saying Making meals and helping me with housework would be so helpful and allow me more time to rest and relax or Getting together one night a week to talk would be really helpful It is really touching when you remember birthdays and anniversaries

Show Gratitude Write a note to all the people who have supported you nurses co-workers friends etc Or try keeping a list of that you can be grateful for during this phase of your life

Take the Lead Begin some traditions or organize events to honor your children and include others Try have a memorial service plan an annual birthday party where you collect toys to donate or arrange a service project in your childs honor

Sometimes in life it becomes necessary for us to help others help us By striving to display honesty gratitude and patience towards others I was able to manage my ever-changing emotions I finally understood that I could better honor and love Joseph and Grace by loving others

Helping Others Help You By Molly Hickey

Experience the International Perinatal Bereavement Conference By Grace OrsquoSullivan past conference attendee

Vo lu me 2 5 I ss u e 4 Page 15

I attended the PLIDA International Perinatal Bereavement Conference in 2014 and would recommend this conference for all healthcare professionals working in the area of pregnancy loss and infant death

I traveled from Dublin Ireland to attend the 2014 conference Given the conference was spread across a number of days this provided lots of time for networking and in-depth knowledge sharing with delegates

Since the conference I have developed strong links with a number of delegates and we have worked together on a PLIDA position paper

I attended pre-conference sessions on memory making and photography These longer sessions were useful because they were a lsquodeep diversquo into specific area of bereavement care The conference program was varied with lots of choice and I got to hear from speakers on a range of projects initiatives and research from all across the United States and Canada

An important aspect of any conference is the ability to share material with colleagues Given so

much of the material from PLIDA was available electronically this made it very easy to share with colleagues all across Ireland once I returned from PLIDA Conference 2014

Thank you Grace OrsquoSullivan Hospice Friendly Hospitals Programme ndash The Irish Hospice Foundation for sharing your perspective of the value of the conference to your work

To share in this learning experience as Grace did please join us for the next conference the 20th International Perinatal Bereavement Conference will be held this September 28th ndash October 1 2016 in Phoenix Arixona This is an exceptional opportunity to learn enhance your skills in your field and connect with others who work with and care for bereaved families

This conference will appeal to any professional who provides care to families experiencing a perinatal death or who engages in research in

the field including obstetricians maternal fetal medicine physicians neonatologists palliative care physicians advanced practice nurses midwives physician assistants nurses social workers

genetic counselors ultra-sonographers chaplains funeral directors child life specialists lactation consultants psychologists childbirth educators policy makers program administrators researchers professors and parent advocates

In addition bereaved parents themselves participate in the conference in the role of parent advocates who may work in advocacy lay support and who may hold a dual role as both patient and researcher or practitioner

For more information please visit wwwperinatalbereavementconferenceorg


Our feet touched as my husband and I leaned against our linen headboard in resignation but we were a world apart I had wine in one hand and a large spoonful of ice cream in the other Since I was no longer pregnant I figured sipping Chianti in bed while shoveling salted caramel mounds might cut through the unrelenting anguish It didnrsquot That night my nightmares were a replica of the heinous events of the day baby emerging cutting the umbilical cord hemorrhaging the unmedicated DampC I woke bereft sullied in my blood sweat and tears I was surrounded by support in the aftermath of my 16-week miscarriage mdash the loss of a baby that would have been our second child mdash but I still felt alone Friends and family sent flowers food checked in by phone I noticed these thoughtful gestures but no amount of care could lighten the intensity of my pain in the days following my pregnancy loss My husband reiterated time and time again that we were in this together but he didnrsquot experience haunting dreams lactating breasts or spiking hormones He could go about his day uninterrupted by piercing flashbacks He didnrsquot go off to work in a body that looked pregnant but wasnrsquot Everything will be okay my love my husband would say Wersquoll have another one Then hersquod get out of bed and dress for

work as if nothing had happened leaving me feeling isolated and furious I am not one to compare pain What good does that do I knew he was hurting But still it seemed like he was only skimming the surface And while he was staving off his pain I felt like I was drowning in mine I wanted more from him mdash needed it actually I wanted him to cry with me hold me share how

broken he felt bring me coffee in bed The articulation of his pain was so slight mdash all he said was that he was sad mdash it seemed to accentuate mine all the more My husband is a man of tenderness wit and words but when it came to something this unimaginable his vocabulary was stymied His expressiveness mdash both words and gestures mdash went on hiatus making it hard to access the man I knew him to be He acted as though things would return to normal in no time Perhaps he felt guilty for not

being there on that foggy mid-October afternoon when the baby came out while I was home alone Maybe the trauma of this loss left him shell-shocked and unable to access his feelings

He consistently checked in throughout the day and spent even more time with our son as I healed but I wanted to be let in on his emotional journey I wanted to truly feel as hersquod said that we were in this together

Instead all hersquod say was We will get through this Things will be different next time Without a shared mourning process I was engulfed by a sense of detachment and anxiety So I turned elsewhere mdash to friends therapy writing mdash all the while missing the love of my life wishing he was the one I could rely on All those months of sharing my feelings with friends and in therapy rather than with him left me feeling like we hardly knew each other

anymore Before we would cuddle every night now we fell asleep on separate edges of the bed It wasnrsquot until we got the fetal pathology results that we could anchor our miscarriage in facts which somehow brought our paths closer together On the evening of my doctorrsquos phone call we sat cross-legged in bed beers in hand discussing all that had unfolded With tangible answers mdash a chromosomal abnormality mdash my husbandrsquos fears subsided and with this

How My Marriage Changed After My Miscarriage By Dr Jessica Zucker


came a widening of his emotional landscape He cupped my face in his hands and said something wise and even hilarious like he typically had I know we really wanted an unmedicated birth but this isnrsquot exactly what we had in mind The upside is We get to try to make a baby again Our shared laughter provided a bridge I had missed our intimacy and ease Living through a loss of this kind required us to reexamine our patterns of communication and prioritize vulnerability We talked openly about our individual and collective aches and pains mdash fear of trying again of this same thing happening the heartbreak and alienation mdash and how vital it was that we remain connected as we moved forward We wanted most importantly to remain poised while parenting our 3-and-a-half year old son and promised to help each other meet that goal

Living through a loss of this kind required us to reexamine our patterns of communication and prioritize vulnerability

In the months that followed we reckoned with what it would mean to undertake pregnancy again and potentially go through 10 months of anxiety The stress was still palpable when we decided to try Despite being well-versed in how horribly wrong things could go we

were hopeful that our traumatic experience was an anomaly that wasnrsquot likely to happen again When the lines appeared in the pregnancy test it had been four months since our loss The good news left me feeling vulnerable and apprehensive it all seemed so fragile and surreal I wondered if this positive pregnancy test might brighten our marital landscape which was still recovering from disappointment My subsequent pregnancy was physically smooth but emotionally tumultuous Until my daughter was nestled in my arms I was preoccupied by fear I searched my underwear for blood on a daily basis and was convinced I wouldnrsquot have the opportunity to feel my daughterrsquos beating heart against mine as she suckled my breasts My husband tried his best to support me through this pregnancy mdash he checked in on me constantly told me how beautiful my growing belly looked reassured me that things were going well mdash but my anxiety made it difficult to feel deeply connected to myself let alone with him Our closeness waxed and waned but our grief was a constant Haggard but hopeful we somehow made it through Together As my contractions quickened in labor my worries about this pregnancy not coming to fruition

finally dissolved I felt a sense of return mdash to myself to my marriage mdash as my husband supported me through the birth of our daughter His nerves transformed as I pushed our baby into the world and he caught her As he brought her to my chest we marveled at what we had gone through to get here Now I watch as our daughterrsquos blonde ringlets rest on her 2-year-old back as she scribbles with a neon crayon Mundane moments like these seem extraordinary having been turned upside down and inside out by my miscarriage She awes me And this actually applies to the feelings I have for my husband as well I marvel at his steadfastness his simple care for our children his devotion to us After all we endured I donrsquot take love for granted Though our grief flung us apart it ultimately glued us back together mdash it was the only way forward Our daughterrsquos birth and the miracle of making it through that terrible time pushed us to be even more compassionate toward one another We realized just how much a marriage can endure how strong a union can be mdash and how much it can teach us about ourselves and one another

To learn more about this writer please visit her webpage at wwwdrjessicazuckercom

How My Marriage Changed After My Miscarriage (continued)

Our Friends are Worth It (continued)

I have learned more than ever that friendship is a two-way street full of bumps and potholes and slippery sur-faces And while it is hard sometimes to navigate this treacherous path when we are grieving and our friends have what we so desperately desire for ourselves it is very worth it in the end if we can remember why we are friends in the first place It is hard but worth it to let go of hurts and resentments especially when we know in our hearts that our friends love and care about us It is worth it to do what it takes to maintain a close friend-ship at a time when so many things are out of our control None of it is easy but in the end its all worth it

With Gratitude


Share sincerely thanks those who have so graciously given donations in memory of a baby relative friend and in honor

of all loved ones and through Matching Gift Programs Gratuitous donations are also accepted from anyone who wants to

help Share in its mission We gratefully acknowledge these gifts which help us continue to reach out and fulfill the daily

needs of bereaved parents Sharersquos services are available free of charge to bereaved parents family and friends or

anyone whose life has been touched by the loss of baby

When you make a donation in memory of a loved baby please include the name of the baby or babies the birth or death

date(s) and the parentrsquos name(s) We would love to acknowledge your donation to the parents If you donate in memory

or honor of a special loved one please include their name(s) and pertinent information A short message may also be

included with any donation Thank you so much for your faithful gifts

Sharersquos mission is to serve those who are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss stillbirth or

in the first few months of life

Six times a year we share information and ideas from parents and professionals in a magazine to provide support and a

sense of community for bereaved parents We hope you will find this magazine helpful and that you will share it with

others you feel it would interest

We encourage you to send your personal articles stories poems artwork and recipes to our magazine at any time

Please do not submit copied copyrighted or web articles The Magazine Editor reserves the right to edit your personal

submission for content andor length to fit the needs of the particular magazine edition in which it will appear Your

submission may be used for the current magazine or may be used in a future publication All submissions become the

property of Share

Please include all pertinent personal information so we may identify you and your babyies in the respective publication

Your submission grants Share permission to list your personal information with the publication unless instructed

otherwise

Magazine Submission Guidelines

1 Please provide title authorsrsquo name and applicable loss information for article submissions If donating monetarily in

memory of a baby please provide loss information including the parentrsquos name(s)

2 Submissions must be received no later than the 1st of the month one month prior to issue month If you are making

a donation and would like to be recognized or honor a birthday or anniversary in the most recent edition of the

magazine then it must be received by the 10th of the month two months prior to the publication

3 Please type your submissions in single spaced 10 point Times New Roman or Arial font when possible

4 Submissions can be mailed to 402 Jackson St Charles MO 63301 e-mailed to rcarlsonnationalshareorg or faxed

to the National Share Office at 636-947-7486

Sharing Magazine Information

Sharing Magazine is published by Share Pregnancy amp Infant Loss Support Inc If you would like to reprint articles or submissions from Sharing please properly cite Share and the writer by stating the name of the organization website magazine volume issue and author in your acknowledgements If you would like to reprint an article or submission that is copyrighted by an author or a publishing company you must obtain permission from the copyright holder to reprint Email questions to rcarlsonnationalshareorg Thank you

Would you like to be removed from

mailing lists

To remove bereaved parentsrsquo names from mailing lists you can visit

httpwwwprivacyrightsorgfsfs4-junkhtmMPS

-OR- Send a letter plus a $1 check or money order to

Mail Preference Service Direct Marketing Association

PO Box 643 Carmel NY 10512

The Mission


Upcoming Issues of

Sharing

Magazine

SeptemberOctober 2016

Celebrating a New Baby

When you are expecting another baby after a loss or even if you are just thinking about trying again the fears and questions

you have may be overwhelming You may be hesitant to tell your loved ones a new baby is on the way and you may be afraid to

bond with your new little one In this issue we will share stories and anecdotes from those who

have taken that leap of faith and become pregnant again Please share ways you coped with your

anxiety and tips for how you made it through your pregnancy

Deadline August 10

NovemberDecember 2016

Remembering During the Holidays

How do you honor or plan to honor your loved ones during

the holidays Will your traditions stay the same or do you plan on changing your traditions Share your story of holiday celebration

tradition(s) or ways of healing and remembering your baby

Deadline October 10

Sharing Magazine reaches over 10000 families and is shared

with countless others around the world Please know how many

lives your story will touch

Please submit your stories poems and artwork to

rcarlsonnationalshareorg

Thank you

Connect on Facebook

Search Share Pregnancy amp Infant Loss Support

Share offers several social communities in addition to

support groups Search Share Bereaved Families Peer Support for

general bereavement or Share Subsequent Pregnancy Peer Support if

you are currently pregnant or are planning to become pregnant

following the death of a baby Please note that these are closed groups

and membership must be approved by an administrator

Get the magazine delivered directly to your inbox

In an effort to reduce our carbon footprint we have

decided to make the magazine available online If you

would like to receive a copy via email we would be

happy to add you to our mailing list Visit

wwwnationalshareorg then click lsquoSubscribersquo in the

top right corner

Find a Share Chapter Near You

For a full list of all Share Chapters across the country please visit

httpwwwnationalshareorghealsharechapters

Need Resources Shop on Sharersquos online store for books gifts memorial keepsakes and much more httpswwwz2systemscomnpclientssharegiftstorejsp

Follow Share on Pinterest for ideas and information

on memory making jewelry grief support resources

books holiday traditions and so much more

Read our most current blog posts at wwwnationalshareblogspotcom

Stay connected

on Twitter

Share1977

We continue to expand our video library on YouTube

Watch Whatrsquos Happening


Save the Date Saturday October 15 2016 Share Walk for Remembrance amp Hope

Please join us for the 2016 National Share Walk for Remembrance amp Hope The Walk will take place at the beautiful Frontier Park in St Charles Missouri on October 15 2016 Once again we invite you to join over 3000 bereaved parents families friends and caregivers as they walk and honor over 500 babies All too often those who experience a pregnancy or infant loss are expected to pick up the pieces and move on before they have even begun to process their feelings Those feelings are recognized and often healed at the Share Walk for Remembrance amp Hope For many the Walk becomes a tender way for bereaved parents to be supported and loved by their friends families and community

Over the years the release of balloons as part of the ceremony has become an important part of the day and we truly understand that this is a special way of honoring your baby However we are sad to announce that this year there will be no balloon release at the Walk As an alternative we have decided to have each family blow bubbles as their babyrsquos name is read We are aware that this decision is not going to be easy for everyone but we feel it is important for Share to be socially and environmentally responsible We hope to see you there To register and find out how to create a team please visit nationalshareorg

Registration

Team amp individual registration opens July 1st on wwwnationalshareorg

Sponsorship Opportunities

By becoming a Sponsor your organization will be publicly recognized among a vast network of physicians nurses social workers and other bereavement professionals as well as thousands of bereaved parents their families friends and co-workers

Depending on the sponsorship level you choose your logo or company name will be incorporated onto posters programs banners apparel online advertising press releases and many other exciting promotional initiatives

Your commitment can truly make a significant impact in the lives of bereaved families Please see the Sponsorship Benefits Charts for complete details of every available opportunity The included levels represent our most frequent approach however the national Share staff will be happy to create a customized plan to fit your marketing and philanthropic goals

A special thank you to Express Scripts for being our Platinum Walk sponsor once again

To have a babyrsquos name listed on the back of the t-shirt and to receive a specific t-shirt size registration must be completed on or before the Early Registration Deadline of September 1 2016 T-shirts will be available on a first come basis ONLY to those registering AFTER the September 1 deadline InfantToddler shirts are available in the online store for $10 only until the September 1 deadline

Please note that all team members must register under the specific URL to be linked to a specific team

Click to view the 2015 Share Walk video

httpswwwyoutubecomwatchv=ikASGNbZFoE

Dear Friends

Summertime is here in the St Louis area but blessedly the heat and humidity that we are known for in this region has been rather slow to appear We like many places in the country had our share of rainy days and as a result the warm summer sunshine is even more greatly appreciated We hope this summer finds you surrounded with the color and warmth that the rain and the sunshine have fostered

In the National Share office we are shifting into our summer schedule trying to accommodate vacations camp schedules and family activities for everyone while maintaining a supportive presence to our community when we are needed We all feel so privileged to be a part of sharing an understanding healing message with those who reach out to us It is important to each of us that the care of our families be our greatest priority and that those relationships with our Share community are nurtured at all times

As I reflect on this simple desire to maintain relationship it seems to capture the essence of the theme of this issue Maintaining our relationships through our grief process can be an effort that requires us to be very intentional When we are grieving we may not feel like engaging or even dragging ourselves out to be with others when what we may most need is the anchor of another caring person The temptation may be to isolate ourselves in our grief and pain telling ourselves that no one could possibly understand

Yes it is a truth that each person experiences grief uniquely and no one completely understands the impact grief has on another individual Yet our community of caring is brimming with those who have walked at least some of the steps of your path It takes courage and sometimes genuine effort to take some of those steps early in the journey We know from many years and many families that the support of others who do understand and who desire to help us can have a huge impact on our progress towards hope and healing after the loss of a precious baby

We also know that the relationships we choose to surround ourselves with can change looking and feeling very different than those we had or may have chosen prior to our loss Our lives have changed We have changed Thus our needs in friendships and relationships have changed as well Sometimes we can find what we need in relationships with those we were close with previously and sometimes it may be in new relationships altogether

In supporting you as a grieving parent we encourage you to seek out those relationships that are comfortable supportive and encouraging to you on your path to healing This issue offers stories of relationships in transition stories of those who struggled to find a new normal those who were offered strength and a shoulder when needed and those sharing examples of the power of a precious little one to forever leave an imprint on our hearts and in the relationships of our lives

We hope that for each of you there are those relationships sustaining you through the valleys of your sadness and beside you all along your path as you reclaim your life in often very new ways We at Share are here for the journey and honor our relationship with you as a part of what we consider to be a large family of understanding grace and support

Blessings to you and your family

Behind the Scenes

Rose Carlson

Program Director

Jennifer Stachula

Training amp Resource

Assistant

Vo lu me 2 5 I ss u e 4

Debbie Cochran RN

Executive Director

Miranda Coker

Support Group

Facilitator

Patti Budnik

Bereavement Care

Manager

Jaclyn Nikodym

Development amp PR

Associate

Sarah Lawrenz

Development

Director

Debbie Cochran RN

Vicki Kiefer

Accounting Manager

Lynne Wuelling

Administrative

Assistant

Shannon Sebastian

Development and

Event Assistant

Annie Horton

Chapter Coordinator





















Contents



























great date night




everupwardorg






































Jeffery Baughman

Tracy Benteen

Shannon Blake

Angela Bohovic

Bob Brossette

Patti Budnik

Danielle Burch

Meredith Byers

Christina Carpenter

Thomas Carter

Debbie Cochran

Marsha Cole

Raymond DAuria

Beverly Dembski


Mark Fuller

Brenda Hampton

Brian Henry

Kathy Herget

Jill Herschbach

Louise Hong

Linda Jenkins

Vicki Kiefer

Gregory Klaus


Andrea Kroll


Catherine Lammert

Sarah Lawrenz

Mike Margherio

Chris McCormick


Susan Petzel

David J Reinhart

Megan Rowekamp

Laura Santos

Devon Siyajuck

Mary Kay Spencer

Corinne Stephens

Lori Taber

Emily Thomas

Britni Weindel


Danielle Williams

Cardinals Care

St Lukes Hospital

Bravelets

Belden Corporate

Schnucks

Amazon Smile

Aetna Foundation





wwwnationalshareorg




















(continued on Page 17)

































Share Support Pages





including





Childrens Grief


Grandparents Grief



Special Days

A Fathers Grief


Share Companions









Share Resources









































































With Gratitude




















property of Share



otherwise













mailing lists






The Mission


Upcoming Issues of

Sharing

Magazine








Deadline August 10






Deadline October 10






Thank you

Connect on Facebook














top right corner









Stay connected

on Twitter

Share1977







Registration































Contents



























great date night




everupwardorg






































Jeffery Baughman

Tracy Benteen

Shannon Blake

Angela Bohovic

Bob Brossette

Patti Budnik

Danielle Burch

Meredith Byers

Christina Carpenter

Thomas Carter

Debbie Cochran

Marsha Cole

Raymond DAuria

Beverly Dembski


Mark Fuller

Brenda Hampton

Brian Henry

Kathy Herget

Jill Herschbach

Louise Hong

Linda Jenkins

Vicki Kiefer

Gregory Klaus


Andrea Kroll


Catherine Lammert

Sarah Lawrenz

Mike Margherio

Chris McCormick


Susan Petzel

David J Reinhart

Megan Rowekamp

Laura Santos

Devon Siyajuck

Mary Kay Spencer

Corinne Stephens

Lori Taber

Emily Thomas

Britni Weindel


Danielle Williams

Cardinals Care

St Lukes Hospital

Bravelets

Belden Corporate

Schnucks

Amazon Smile

Aetna Foundation





wwwnationalshareorg





















































Share Support Pages





including





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A Fathers Grief


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Jeffery Baughman

Tracy Benteen

Shannon Blake

Angela Bohovic

Bob Brossette

Patti Budnik

Danielle Burch

Meredith Byers

Christina Carpenter

Thomas Carter

Debbie Cochran

Marsha Cole

Raymond DAuria

Beverly Dembski


Mark Fuller

Brenda Hampton

Brian Henry

Kathy Herget

Jill Herschbach

Louise Hong

Linda Jenkins

Vicki Kiefer

Gregory Klaus


Andrea Kroll


Catherine Lammert

Sarah Lawrenz

Mike Margherio

Chris McCormick


Susan Petzel

David J Reinhart

Megan Rowekamp

Laura Santos

Devon Siyajuck

Mary Kay Spencer

Corinne Stephens

Lori Taber

Emily Thomas

Britni Weindel


Danielle Williams

Cardinals Care

St Lukes Hospital

Bravelets

Belden Corporate

Schnucks

Amazon Smile

Aetna Foundation





wwwnationalshareorg





















































Share Support Pages





including





Childrens Grief


Grandparents Grief



Special Days

A Fathers Grief


Share Companions









Share Resources









































































With Gratitude




















property of Share



otherwise













mailing lists






The Mission


Upcoming Issues of

Sharing

Magazine








Deadline August 10






Deadline October 10






Thank you

Connect on Facebook














top right corner









Stay connected

on Twitter

Share1977







Registration














































Jeffery Baughman

Tracy Benteen

Shannon Blake

Angela Bohovic

Bob Brossette

Patti Budnik

Danielle Burch

Meredith Byers

Christina Carpenter

Thomas Carter

Debbie Cochran

Marsha Cole

Raymond DAuria

Beverly Dembski


Mark Fuller

Brenda Hampton

Brian Henry

Kathy Herget

Jill Herschbach

Louise Hong

Linda Jenkins

Vicki Kiefer

Gregory Klaus


Andrea Kroll


Catherine Lammert

Sarah Lawrenz

Mike Margherio

Chris McCormick


Susan Petzel

David J Reinhart

Megan Rowekamp

Laura Santos

Devon Siyajuck

Mary Kay Spencer

Corinne Stephens

Lori Taber

Emily Thomas

Britni Weindel


Danielle Williams

Cardinals Care

St Lukes Hospital

Bravelets

Belden Corporate

Schnucks

Amazon Smile

Aetna Foundation





wwwnationalshareorg





















































Share Support Pages





including





Childrens Grief


Grandparents Grief



Special Days

A Fathers Grief


Share Companions









Share Resources









































































With Gratitude




















property of Share



otherwise













mailing lists






The Mission


Upcoming Issues of

Sharing

Magazine








Deadline August 10






Deadline October 10






Thank you

Connect on Facebook














top right corner









Stay connected

on Twitter

Share1977







Registration































































Share Support Pages





including





Childrens Grief


Grandparents Grief



Special Days

A Fathers Grief


Share Companions









Share Resources









































































With Gratitude




















property of Share



otherwise













mailing lists






The Mission


Upcoming Issues of

Sharing

Magazine








Deadline August 10






Deadline October 10






Thank you

Connect on Facebook














top right corner









Stay connected

on Twitter

Share1977







Registration


















































































With Gratitude




















property of Share



otherwise













mailing lists






The Mission


Upcoming Issues of

Sharing

Magazine








Deadline August 10






Deadline October 10






Thank you

Connect on Facebook














top right corner









Stay connected

on Twitter

Share1977







Registration












Upcoming Issues of

Sharing

Magazine








Deadline August 10






Deadline October 10






Thank you

Connect on Facebook














top right corner









Stay connected

on Twitter

Share1977







Registration















Registration











sharingnationalshare.org › wp-content › uploads › 2014 › 07 › july... · healing. this...

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