aab issue 3, i'm, like, in love with you! (summer 2013)

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A A B a b o u t a b i c y c l e i s s u e 3 , f a l l 2 0 1 3

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About a Bicycle is a reading and discussion series for self-identified women who explore critical topics relating to capitalism's current functionality and the affects that transpire. Each project concludes with a published journal featuring writing and images submitted by collective members. Issue 3, I'm, like in Love With You!, turns to affective categories to interrogate late-capitalism and labour relations. Features the talents of Nikki Reimer, Danielle LaFrance, Anahita Jamali Rad, Kaylin Pearce, Penelope Hetherington, Megan Hepburn, Rafaela Kino, Dorothy Trujillo Lusk, Andrea Williamson, and Jacqueline Ross

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Page 1: AAB Issue 3, I'm, like, in Love With You! (Summer 2013)

AAB about a bicycle

issue 3, fall 2013

Page 2: AAB Issue 3, I'm, like, in Love With You! (Summer 2013)

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Page 3: AAB Issue 3, I'm, like, in Love With You! (Summer 2013)

I’M, LIKE, IN LOVE WITH YOU!

Danielle LaFrance & Anahita Jamali Rad, Editors

AAB | about a bicycleIssue 3 | Autumn 2013

Vancouver | Unceded Coast Salish Territory

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Page 5: AAB Issue 3, I'm, like, in Love With You! (Summer 2013)

“To be affected by something is to evaluate that thing” — Sara Ahmed

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AAB issue 3, I’m, like, in love with you!Autumn 2013Vancovuer, Unceded Coast Salish Territory

Edited by Danielle LaFrance & Anahita Jamali RadImages and texts by artists and writers represented in the journalCover design by Anahita Jamali RadDesign and layout by Danielle LaFranceThis journal was set in Goudy Old Style and Helvetica Neue

aboutabicycle.wordpress.com

About a Bicycle journals are available by print and online. Please contact us at [email protected] for information concerning our projects and to obtain a copy.

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CONTENTS

Preface

RAFAELA KINOThe Affect Machine

MEGAN HEPBURNPlaymates

DANIELLE LAFRANCEAn Addendum to “Managing Oneself”

KAYLIN PEARCECivilization of our discontents

DOROTHY TRUJILLO LUSKAmniosis

ANAHITA JAMALI RADSome Errors Resulting From the Confusion of Affect and Capital

DANIELLE LAFRANCEElysium set in the year 2013

ANAHITA JAMALI RADCapital makes its way into all of my crises.

PENELOPE HETHERINGTONFORGIVE US OUR EXCESS

JACQUELYN ROSSDancing Close: Objects, Writing and Desire

NIKKI REIMERAffect is, like, so over

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PREFACE

“When the fluid part of the human body is determined by an external body to impinge often on another soft part, it changes the surface of the latter, and, as it were, leaves the impression thereupon of the external body which impels it […] the ‘impinge[ment]’ of affect not only transmits energetic and informational sensations but is materially transfiguring, a process of mutual material incorporealization and remediation between bodies” (Spinoza, Ethics, ii.Post v.97)

This summer, About a Bicycle’s reading and discussion series focused on issues surrounding The Affective State. After some deliberation we realised the intensity of affective categories had trickled into the fibres of our earlier discussions on postmodernity and the function of late capitalism. Affect is often thought to be the synonym of emotion, the catalyst to feeling, the precursor to spending, and the tone that offsets movements. Nina Power mentions a “kind of war on affect” when critiquing Tiqqun’s recently translated text, Preliminary Materials for a Theory of a Young Girl, in which character and personality are prepackaged by consumer habits and behavioural conditioning, reduced to a state of constant fatigue and inescapable depression. “… [U]nhappiness appears to be all there is,” she continues.

From the ecstasy of reaganomics (an ecstasy that is always already severe pain — see Hedy Lamarr on Ecstasy) to the agony of global neoliberalism, economically determined affect infects all subjects of dominant ideology. There is an overwhelming contempt for the way in which the rational subject (internalised as male) succumbs to affect, a contempt that is also intertwined with the overall feminisation of the subject, in production (precarious labour) and in consumption, where it is characterised as weakness.

But still, what is affect? We see the rhetoric of communication amplified in states of crisis (i.e., the Calgary flood, the financial crisis, the war on terror) where downward turns in the economy ask us to spend and continue to be good consuming subjects in order to maintain the communities spawned by late capitalism, and advance slow-moving recovery of a system designed to keep us perpetually wanting. We’ve read about psychic attacks on the body in the form of invisible reproductive labour, a concept arguably stretched too thin by the fanfare of Autonomous Marxists. Silvia Federici hits them where it hurts:

But the concept of “affective labor” strips the feminist analysis of housework of all its demystifying power. In fact, it brings reproductive work back into the world of mystification, suggesting that reproducing people is just a matter of [sic] producing “emotions,” “feelings.” It used to be called a “labor of love;” Negri and Hardt instead have discovered “affection” (Precarious Labor: A Feminist Viewpoint)

Our query into affect shifted registers from the philosophical to the social, bearing in mind the external causes for intense states of being and the manner in which they are embodied as an individuated affect. We read about negative and ambiguous affects (Sianne Ngai’s Ugly Feelings), the “linguistic machine” that valorizes these prepackaged responses and narratives within capitalism (Dierdra Reber’s “Headless Capitalism: Affect

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as free-market episteme”), the oppressive weight of the morality of hegemonic identity, disillusionment, and being Other (Freud’s Civilization and its Discontents and Sara Ahmed’s “Multiculturalism and the Promise of Happiness”), and the nervous importance placed on repurposed feelings, seemingly designated as “women’s emotions,” which, within “theory,” is “elevated” into the realm of masculine intellect. We came to notice the ways affect is used by our oppressors, and how we learn to love them for it. And that an affected body politic is not the same as an affective political body.

In light of all of this, can affect be recuperated? Can it be an instrument for political mobilisation? With an examination of the roots and causes of affect, this issue of About a Bicycle evaluates discursively produced affect categories, the appropriation and exploitation of our bodies by capital, manipulations of our desires and identities by the state, whilst utilising our negative emotional and physiological states to further agencies. While our oppressors dangle hopes and dreams before our eyes, creating a space of comfort outfitted with our every want and desire, we prefer not to engage.

— D&A

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Rafaela Kinoposter from the stop motion animation The Affect Machine

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PLAYMATES Megan Hepburn

For Mathieu LeFevre

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A painting p laying a painting

“Let’s go in the closet so no one can hear us.” “He really likes you a lot but if you don’t say yes, he’s going to ask out Kim.” “There, you see, no matter what happens, we’ll always have this. You’ll always remember this.” “I’d never fuck someone else, unless some chic showed up on my doorstep wearing a big coat and nothing else.” “It’s weird that you don’t like this, she goes crazy when I do it.” “No, I don’t miss you. I’m too busy to miss you.” “But I love you.”

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A painting as leep

“I’m, like, in love with you.” “Do you want me to be jealous?” “This just seems to be my pattern, I think I can stay with someone, but inevitably I get bored and then get irritated and start judging everything they do and just end up staying until the bitter end because they have a vagina and a good book collection.” “You make a good little companion.” “It’s nothing personal. Essentially, you’re just a bag of carbon so…” “I thought you would be happy that it was with someone you liked.”

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A painting pr etends to be as leep

“We laugh about you when she calls you my girlfriend.” “Yes, I guess this is the worst thing I could do to you. Would it be better if we stopped? I’m not sure I could.” “I like you SO much, right now.” “What are you? Some kind of female puritan robot lesbian?” “You’re just a body.” “I think maybe my eyes are bigger than my stomach.”

Fever For ever

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Its concept is altered, and at the same time the mood which properly corresponds to the correct concept is confused, and instead of the endurance of the genuine mood one has the fleeting jugglery of the false mood

AN ADDENDUM TO “MANAGING ONESELF” DANIELLE LAFRANCE

i’m not crazy!

cries the Post-Capitalist Executive

he repairs man built snow men

said he had coxcomb red eyes,

said he had dead eyes

nine year old children dine on

his rotten legs.

outline the conditions of

‘this’

what interpretation can be made at the

point of saturation. Saturdays?

purple magic tarot cards

what if i stood

blind folded white silk

beside seven swords?

mutability of speech acts evolve over time.

my preoccupation

though anal

i live in an age of unprecedented

opportunity

‘this’

is the part that is related to something

i love doing

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Affect is this two-sideness as seen from the side of the actual thing, as couched in its perceptions and cognitions. Affect is the virtual as point of view, provided the visual metaphor is used guardedly

look! at! the! leitmotifs!

the very lubricant of hawked

O’ eco nom ik lie raft cum u nism

silence before speaking before feeling real

towards friend’s ashes.

on attend avec impatience

une prochaine occasion de poilade

endowed display of good dispositions.

i don’t get it

organizations, like people, have affects

prophetically

pathetically

i am approved for leave

without pay

detouring is what

constitutes ‘that’ thing

i wanted ‘that’ heat

so bad

i could taste

the fire

in your eyes

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clipped gun troubled words. Left to its knees.

a sound will come, decrying its ground will come

and volubility sparks a life from chaos

saturnine graze of melting ice changes

‘this’

cataclysmic rhythm sparse sow

sign posts purr an emphatic definition of the ready-made

i projected so much onto you intellectually

readings of real life. thinking through

‘this’ ‘thing’

friend of my friend of my frenemy

i’m not in love,

so don’t forget it

it’s just a silly phase

i’m going through

did you ask them to assume any particular state?

hand me kisses on wrists. wet lips and smack upon a

well-shaped

diabolical

heart. let’s slip into an alien mode, okay?

i only have one eye

that waters.

Douleur nous mène

dans le domaine

énigmatique

For the affect is not a personal feeling, nor is it a characteristic; it is the effectuation of a power of the pack that throws the self into upheaval and makes it reel. Who has not known the violence of these animal sequences, which uproot one from humanity, if only for an instant, making one scrape at one’s bread like a rodent or giving one the yellow eyes of a feline?

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O’ live the becoming of rats snacking on rats.

become-cannibal

become-not the vampire of conversation

but the vampire whom reserves our fates . . .

sit death bed room

ache woman ache women

intersubjective squirreling salute my long lost naked drunk . . .

cried over spilt honey milk. told to erase not

express.

we suffer, baby, it’s over

the problem with timing is that it is always off

while it cannot be off at all

the Right remember feet remain rooted in

shag carpet once grass woven.

stalemate, post-haste, delicacies of lingered movements

‘this’

happens in public

stretch him by his neck

leave the house once ‘it’ scales off

like curious children

the threat of affect

is already affect

take the figure of the kill joy feminist. we can place her alongside the figure of the happy housewife. does the feminist kill other people’s joy by point out moments of sexism? or does she expose the bad feelings that get hidden, displaced or negated under public signs of joy?

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A Ouija planchette indicates the state of the channel

and ‘these’ are a few of my favorite things

and i will continue to enjoy ‘this’ temporary assignment

fringed. there is thirty of me.

hur kung, shipka street, royal blue floating devices

and extracts permeable entries of the women of the families.

i hope that with ‘this’ i will have paid my debt to Nature.

but i’m writing on Nature!

kierk start the beat on the one, two . . .

fingers stuck on her well-oiled clit, you don’t say.

lovin’ and lot O’ less hurt to

dish

i’m a kill joy feminist

and i like your ensemble

and it’s all in your head.

echo of how many times

‘this’

has been uttered:

can’t take my cellphone into treatment

somethings we say in private are private

somethings we say in public are public

not everyone was enjoying the riot

the body retreats

stop

stop

stop

<3

we would also do well to interrogate the ways in which affect shapes narrative itself—that is, the way we approach storytelling

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Kaylin PearceCivilization of our discontents

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AMNIOSIS Dorothy Trujillo Lusk

am immaterial

projectile speech acts

agonista obscura

amcompetent

digit non compos

is developing relays

manage disorganized schizophrenience

am out am about

are disidentifiant

am required form

consumed elsewhere

somehow………………absolute chance

herself should decide

cannot cannot respond ‘categorically’

“I want to kiss you”

Mappemunde of itinerancy embodiment

Am who is smiling between distance?

Of connexion stuttering briefly

& you never, ever will again.

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SOME ERRORS RESULTING FROM THE CONFUSION OF AFFECT AND CAPITAL Anahita Jamali Rad

They said, don’t be deceived: the affective state is disappearing.

Affects have deprived individuals of direct and immediate

communication with one another. They’ve reduced

individuals to the state of atoms subject to abstract

authority in which they do not recognise themselves

or each other. Affects have intimated individuals

into roles specified by affects. Affects have forced

individuals into a type of mass consumption. Finally,

affects have doomed individuals to communicate with

each other only through idealised signs and spectacles.

The intimacy of a breathing machine.

Enjoyment between two individuals is possible on the

basis of physical closeness, quite apart from whatever else

may be going on.

If you enjoy being close to my abstract ideals, and I enjoy

being close to your abstract ideals, we may enjoy each other.

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If my upbringing has made me susceptible to your cheap

cliches, and your upbringing has made you reproduce

cheap cliches, then we may enjoy each other.

If I’ve been socialised to enjoy exploiting you, and you’ve

been socialised to enjoy being exploited by me, we may

enjoy each other.

If I enjoy institutionalised oppression and you participate

in institutionalised oppression, then we may enjoy each

other.

If you enjoy being absorbed and sold by capital, and I

enjoy commodifying you, we may enjoy each other.

If you enjoy being subject to systemic violence, and I enjoy

enforcing systemic violence, then we may enjoy each other.

If you enjoy hierarchies that produce abusive power

relations, and I promote hierarchies that produce abusive

power relations, then we may enjoy each other.

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Affects produce the mass. The mass being a group of

depoliticised subjects with a shared love for an abstract

ideal, a group of individual subjects with their guts aligned.

We do not actually love each other.

I may enjoy you better if you bring me flowers. I may enjoy

you better if you read to me. I may enjoy you better if you

make me dinner. I may enjoy you better if you make me

breakfast. I may enjoy you better if you buy me expensive

gifts. I may enjoy you better if you use pink Himalayan salt

crystals to sprinkle on those homemade dark chocolate

truffles that you’ll give me for our anniversary. I may enjoy

you better if you attempt to jump off a bridge when I don’t

answer your calls. I may enjoy you better if you yell at me.

I may enjoy you better if your nose starts to bleed when

you touch me. I may enjoy you better if you make me feel

ashamed for enjoying that. I may enjoy you better if you

make me feel ashamed for wanting you like that. I may

enjoy you better if you look at me with disgust. I may enjoy

you better if you cause me to sneeze when we embrace. I

may enjoy you better when your skin starts to disintegrate.

I may enjoy you better if you taste just like butter. I may

enjoy you better if you melt like butter when you touch me.

I may enjoy you better if our guts align. I may enjoy you

better if you spend days in the kitchen building a bomb for

us. I may enjoy you better if you plant the bomb. You set

the bomb. You go with the bomb.

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And then there’s silence. You’re in a vast field of white

snow. Looming icebergs mark the horizon. You hear a

muffled melody, which you slowly begin to recognise. Is

it the song of the revolution? Or the anthem for a fully

submerged neoliberal ideal? The melody entrances you.

You lower your eyes. Your head hangs low. You see a vast

field of whiteness, but you no longer see the snow. A

feeling of hegemony wraps around you like a fog.

Something about this is deceiving.

The shift in attention from one stimulus to another by

head and eye movements which track a moving stimulus

is based on involuntary reflexes, which tend toward

combining deceiving affects. The deceiving affects in

combination with these reflexes enable the individual to

sustain attention to complex objects. It is possible that the

shifting of the eyes from side to side produces an anxious

feeling. Now from one angle, now from another, the eyes

of the paranoiac shift in all directions.

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Someone feels self-pity, another feels disdain.

This affective state is a specific and discontinuous

reality. An interest in which is evidence for a somewhat

idiosyncratic socialisation.

Someone suggests some sort of social conditioning.

It is possible that you may enjoy solitary labour, solitary

leisure. You may enjoy being alone while watching others

from a distance. It is possible that you may enjoy watching

people smoke on TV. You may enjoy watching the people

in the apartment across the street from you. You may

enjoy watching people get smoked on TV. You may enjoy

smoking a cigarette and then tossing it out of a window.

You may enjoy being in close proximity to a television set

being thrown out of a window. A chair may be thrown

out of a window. A laptop is thrown out of a window.

A golf ball is thrown out of a window onto a group of

cyclists. A painting is thrown out of a window, disrupting

power lines, cutting electricity. You may enjoy a loss of

electricity. It is possible that you may enjoy spending an

evening reading by candle-light in solitude. You may enjoy

watching the people in the apartment across the street

from you by candle-light. It is possible that you may enjoy

watching the panic that ensues, by candle-light.

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Danielle LaFranceElysium set in the year 2013

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Anahita Jamali RadCapital makes its way into all of my crises.

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Penelope HetheringtonFORGIVE US OUR EXCESS

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DANCING CLOSE: OBJECTS, WRITING AND DESIRE Jacquelyn Ross

I. Writing and Affection

The ligaments of an abstract idea pull tiredly from the sleeves. The stubborn solitude of a writer (having been rewarded in the past for their efforts) persists in this willed state, between pleasure and pain. And when the slumbering threat of complete aimlessness looms, words seem to exist only in flight. They become slippery and inconcrete, only caught and recorded by chance as they land on the kitchen table for a second’s rest, attracted like fruit flies to the ripeness of a blank page. The page, waiting and breathing and waiting by the open window, thinks about what it should do next. Should it accept this courtship, this slow seduction?

The body of the writer is enslaved, too, by writing’s own capacity to act, and to be affected. A fleet of punctuation and jargon nervously awaits its chance to impress (as well as impress upon the page) the personality of a character already so animated by its age-long development in language and utterance—so versed in the echoes of babies and sirens and dogs and caves. Overflowing with experience, once released, the body of writing runs away with itself like a mud slide: fluid and self-enveloping. A writer might attempt to run alongside it. But eventually one falls behind, falls out of step. Eventually one tires of words. Writing, on the contrary, is always quicker, smarter, and more moving than the forms that aim to cultivate it. Writing is always bigger than the page, or the pen that punctures it. And anyways, writing must never succomb to the writer.

With an affection made real by the thingness of the process of the thing, the physicality of these materials—of language, of writing, of inspiration—merges magically with the world of objects. Soon even the objects on a writer’s desk begin to take on new and strange writerly bodies: each felt and defined by its texture, hollow, resonance. In this way, each paperweight, or water glass, articulates the epic poetry of its objecthood, and the muddiness of its private language.

II. Peach Bloom

An esteemed glaze first developed in the seventeenth century kilns of the Qing dynasty, “peach bloom” decorated the ceramic objects of the Emperor’s writing table. In colours ranging from muted nudes to mauve like blushing pomegranates, the peach bloom ink wells and water pots that lined his desk appeared like fallen fruit positioned for a still life. A green celadon tinge taints each object with the ambiguity of either youth or sickness. Yet still, the Emperor’s calligraphy brush invites this unknown, plunging into the waxy bust of a vessel frozen at its point of immanence: a secret pleasure. That every decree, every letter to a cousin or lover or friend, must have been sprinkled with peach bloom-coloured pauses, and moments of idleness the shade of red kidney beans, suggests that writing can be, too, a body reflected and reflecting in its thinking-through-undertones. The sensuous

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metaphor of a slow-ripening fruit, muted lips, transitory blossoms, becomes the understated but momentous object of inspiration for a powerful leader’s moments between writing. Masqueraded as utility, writing furtively demands this edible desire.

III. Approach

For Spinoza, desire is as tangible as an appetite. It is the passageway between joy and despair, between a pleasure yearned for and a pleasure achieved. Like writing, desire is continually advancing, yet abstract. The Emperor’s ceramics mime this metaphor of perpetual approach, in a pursuit that never arrives at its destination, but thrills in the game of trying. It is a desire written into the codes of language just as it is contained within the shadowy concaves of pots. It is an unspoken affection for the mystery of the thing.

It is also the silhouette of Morandi that mysteriously appears in his painterly arrangements of bottles and greys, lined up on a table top doubling as a horizon line. Vases press against each other economically, like tight clusters of letters huddling together in a cold field. Cursive handwriting. In this way, the writer observes the spectacle of two-dimensions unfolding. Wonders about that flatness. That shadow. That margin of error (and wonder).

Writing is the coded air that circulates these objects (like fruit flies around fruit), realizing each object as a potential tracing and description. A material language sings out from each jam jar, creating a space of metaphor and magic.

Writing is also the distance between us: the measured separation between an object, or object of study, and its observer. A vehicle of desire struggles to close this gap, in a playful flirtation that only further secures its object in secrecy. The writer delights in this impossibility, is provoked by its opacity. What lies beyond Morandi’s tableau?

Dancing close, writing dwells in this intimate encounter, this imaginary distance.

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AFFECT IS, LIKE, SO OVER Nikki Reimer

“Spatiotemporal relations, determinations, are not predicates of the thing but dimensions of multiplicities...A haecceity has neither beginning nor end, origin nor destination; it is always in the middle. It is not made of points, only of lines. It is a rhizome.” –Deleuze & Guattari, “Becoming Animal.”

I am interested in the rhizomatic relational phenomenon of becoming-animal vis a vis unbecoming-unanimal as it pertains to the transubstantiation of physical to not-physical that occurs at death. My second concern is the subsequent affective state of grief which acts upon those left behind. Believe me, grief is the ugliest of the ugly feelings. If you follow me at all on social media you are already (sorry) aware that I am (yet) overtaken and overwhelmed by grief following the death event of my brother on February 21, 2012—2.21.2012; I have not run this through numerology, it was the day before my 32nd birthday, he was 26. Is death the ultimate Aeon, “the time of the pure event or of becoming,” or is it the time of the pure unbecoming? The spatiotemporal relation is important; in-bed-at-home-February-21st-

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approximately-4-in-the-morning; three days later I slept in that spot in that bed and felt a kind of pulsing, peaceful, positive energy. Whether this was his energy or the energy of the death-event or both I am not sure, but this is what I experienced. There is no way to speak of these things to an avante garde literate atheistic public without putting oneself into the company of the hippie energy freaks and thus becoming a subject to-be-dismissed-as-irrational. And yet. My work in the online “always in the middle” (haeccity) project Let’s Improvise a Bone Graft takes as its subject the question of what to do with grief and loss in this age, as a writer/artist. If we are (if I am) the post-post-modern post-feminist pre-millennial fully-digital-garde, and therefore “the subject supposed to be” post-narrative/post-subjectivity, but the death of a loved one drags us firmly into the egocentric experience of grief and the heightened narrativity of loss—where our entire world becomes reduced to the “I” who have lost “you;” what do we do with this, in 2013 (2012)? Tu me manqué. Dove sei. Over and over aren’t you over. Where are you. You are missing. Over and aren’t you over it over and over aren’t you over and missing aren’t you over it yet. The work, therefore, that engages me at present is the work of coming to terms with this: coming to terms with him and his life and who he was to me, coming to terms with the presence of his absence and the animal I have become after his death and the brother I must be now to myself. If, as old wives might suggest, one becomes adult only after one’s parents have passed, leaving one to become one’s own mother or father, I am becoming, following the untimely passage of my favourite kin, crone-beast: rage-filled irrational old woman obsessed with death and sorrow. I drown in my own affect. Beastly and primal/primitive.

&&&

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While affect as subject for critical discussion remains very relevant in academic and literary circles, within poetry itself it has, in those same circles, become passé. Which is to say, get your damn feelings out of my damn poem. Overcome-with-emotion-listening-to-Thom-Yorke’s-Har-rowdown-Hill-(extended-mix)-waiting-for-bus-8:49am-Tuesday-October-1C. The sun was low and bright. The time for affect has passed.

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This particular project was unique in that our collective spanned two cities, Calgary and Vancouver. We met online for eight sessions and found ourselves having to communicate with one another differently, which altered our collective dynamic in both captivating and complex ways. Suddenly, we’re looking up online trash like How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work? and other such nonsense. In the end, both the journal and discussion group have proved to be complimentary to the overall progression of our projects. From the problematic of postmodernity, to the current condition of labour in late capital, to affect, we’ve established a trilogy of intersecting concepts and analyses. Therein, About a Bicycle has become representative of the goings on in collective didactic practices outside of the university. Discussion sessions take place in the intimate settings of our homes over spilt wine and thoughts.

We would like to give special thanks to both contingents who came together, discussed the selected texts, carefully listened to various interpretations, and built upon one another’s thoughts and ideas: Courtney Burke, Adrienne Connelly, Amy (the cat), Amy De’ath, Megan Hepburn, Penelope Hetherington, Andrea Javor, Dorothy Trujillo Lusk, Kaylin Pearce, Nikki Reimer, Sugar (the cat), Rafaela Vidinha, and Andrea Williamson. And also thank you to all who have supported our projects and assisted with the production of our publications throughout 2012-13.

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