ACADEMIC ENGLISH IIIClass 23

May 31, 2013

TodayImproving Writing Clarity

- Pronoun agreement and reference

- Nominalization

Read these sentencesTo prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.

Pearl Buck received much critical praise for her work and earned over $7 million, but she was very modest about it.

Bill bought a Norwegian boat because he had heard that they make the best boats.

After jack put his computer on the table, it broke.

Don’t worry if the stock market is down. They say that fluctuations are natural and won’t hurt your long-term investments.

Read these sentencesTo prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.

Pearl Buck received much critical praise for her work and earned over $7 million, but she was very modest about it.

Bill bought a Norwegian boat because he had heard that they make the best boats.

After jack put his computer on the table, it broke.

Don’t worry if the stock market is down. They say that fluctuations are natural and won’t hurt your long-term investments.

Terms to keep in mindPronoun = a part of language that substitutes for nouns or

noun phrases.

i.e., it, she, he, they, mine, yours, we, them…

Antecedent = the word or phrase to which a pronoun refers.

i.e., Debbie told Andrew that she was sick.

Pronoun reference errorsWhen the antecedent in a sentence or paragraph is unclear, the meaning of the sentence or paragraph can be confusing.

This problem negatively affects writing clarity.

Obviously, something you want to avoid!

Pronoun reference errorsCommon unclear pronoun references:

1. More than one possible antecedent

i.e.,

To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.

Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.

Pronoun reference errors1. More than one possible antecedent

To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.

- The children or the thumbs?

Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job. - Who wasn’t going to get the job? Jack or Frank?

Pronoun reference errors1. More than one possible antecedent

When the hotel staff mistakenly booked two wedding parties at the same time, neither of the bride's families  would agree to be relocated. The situation was embarrassing for them.  

- Embarrassing for who? The hotel staff, the families, or the brides?

Fixing pronoun reference errorsThere are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors:

1. Use a specific word instead of the pronoun.

Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.

Jack told Frank that Frank wasn’t going to get the job.

Fixing pronoun reference errorsThere are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors:

2. Completely revise the sentence.

Jack told Frank he wasn’t going to get the job.

Jack told Frank, “You aren’t going to get the job.”

Fixing pronoun reference errorsThere are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors:

1. Use a specific word instead of the pronoun.

To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.

To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put their baby’s thumb in Tabasco sauce.

Fixing pronoun reference errorsThere are 2 strategies to fix pronoun reference errors:

2. Completely revise the sentence.

To prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.

Some parents put their baby’s thumb in Tabasco sauce to prevent thumb sucking.

Pronoun reference errorsCommon unclear pronoun references:

2. The antecedent is only implied

i.e.,

One of the engineers on NASA's team forgot to translate a mathematical formula into metric, causing the satellite to veer off its orbit. This was a disaster for the team.

- The use of “this” is what caused the problem.

- Do not use “this” without a clarifying noun afterwards.

i.e., “This mistake was a disaster for the team.” “This change of course was a disaster for the team.”

Pronoun reference errorsCommon unclear pronoun references:

2. The antecedent is only implied

i.e.,

One of the engineers on NASA's team forgot to translate a mathematical formula into metric, causing the satellite to veer off its orbit. This was a disaster for the team.

One of the engineers on NASA's team forgot to translate a mathematical formula into metric, causing the satellite to veer off its orbit. This mistake was a disaster for the team.

Pronoun reference errorsI majored in banking, but I don’t want to work in one. I majored in banking, but I won’t want to work in a bank.

My brother never asks for directions, which really annoys me. My brother never asks for directions, a habit which really annoys me.

In Tokyo they eat a lot of fish. People in Tokyo eat a lot of fish.

It says in the paper that the city council will approve the budget. The paper says that the city council will approve the budget.

Read these sentencesTo prevent children from sucking their thumbs, some parents put them in Tabasco sauce.

Pearl Buck received much critical praise for her work and earned over $7 million, but she was very modest about it.

Bill bought a Norwegian boat because he had heard that they make the best boats.

After jack put his computer on the table, it broke.

Don’t worry if the stock market is down. They say that fluctuations are natural and won’t hurt your long-term investments.

Pronoun reference errors1. When Frank accidentally walked into the ladies' bathroom, they burst out laughing. 2. If the guests are finished with the appetizers, put them in the refrigerator. 3. When I opened the doors of the pigeon cages, most of them flew away. 4. It says in our English textbook that pronouns should refer clearly to their antecedents.

Pronoun reference errors5. At the company where I work, they don't allow smoking even outside the building.

6. If the test is postponed until Monday, it will give more time to study.

7. With my experience caring for my autistic younger brother, it has prepared me for a job in Special Education.

8. There was a traffic accident at the intersection of Broad St. and Seventh Avenue, which caused me to be late for class.

Pronoun reference errors10. Community service not only looks good on a resume; it also gives you a sense of satisfaction.

NominalizationTurning a verb into a noun.

- We implemented the plan successfully

- The implementation of the plan was successful.

Try to avoid this as much as possible.

NominalizationThe detective conducted an investigation of the crime.

The hope of the student is to earn good grades.

There was flooding in the building by heavy rains.

A ski trip should be planned.

NominalizationProblems created by nominalization:

- Passive voice

- Unnecessary words

- loss of agent

- use of “be” verbs as main verb

- loss of clarity.

Revising Nominalization Look for:

1. Verbs turned into nouns (i.e., investigate investigation)

2. The use of “to be” verbs (am, is, are, was, were) as a main verb.

3. The use of passive voice.

4. A missing agent.

Revising Nominalization 1. Verbs turned into nouns (i.e., investigate investigation)

- Locate verbs functioning as nouns and change them to action words.

i.e.,

The detective conducted an investigation of the crime.

The detective investigated the crime.

Revising Nominalization 2. The use of “to be” verbs (am, is, are, was, were) as a main verb.

Replace simple “to be” verbs with more “action-oriented” verbs.

i.e.,

The hope of the student is to earn good grades.

The student hopes to earn good grades.

Revising Nominalization 3. The use of passive voice.

- Switch to active voice.

i.e.,

There was flooding in the building by heavy rains.

Heavy rains flooded the building.

Revising Nominalization 4. A missing agent.

Provide an agent by indicating who or what is doing the action in the sentence.

i.e.,

A ski trip should be planned.

Jim should plan our ski trip.

Revising Nominalization 1. The budget cuts for the Writing Center were the topic of our debate.

2. The intention of the jury is to reach a decision.

3. There is a need for reinforcement of this law.

4. We did a study of the progression of lung cancer.

Revising Nominalization 5. The delay of the flight was caused by the storm.

6. There was scorching of vegetation by the 2007 fires in Morgan Hill.

7. Our presentation was about a new regulation.

8. It was expected that our collection of data would be quick.

Revising Nominalization 9. The coroner did an examination of the body.

10. A demand must exist for clean energy