active listening 1

8/6/2019 Active Listening 1

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Art of Listening

Prof. Sunil Bakshi



D efinition

Effective listening is listeningto the words of the speaker andthe meaning of the words.

Active listening is a process inwhich the listener takes activeresponsibility to understand thecontent and feeling of what isbeing said and then checkswith the speaker to see if he/she heard what the speaker intended to communicate.



W hat Is Active Listening?

It·s a communication skill thatinvolves both the speaker and thereceiver.In active listening, the receiver tries

to understand what feelings,thoughts, & beliefs are beingcommunicated and accepts it as theperson·s own.

The active listener avoids gettingstuck in another person·s ´helplessµfeelings.



Active Listening SkillsCommunicate both ² verbally andnonverballyRestate/ paraphrase the messagePractice ́ uninterruptedµ listening

Observe the sender·s nonverbalsignals and cues

Verify that the message has beencorrectly understood through proper feedback.Give feedback only to what theybelieve the sender·s message meant

² nothing more, nothing less.



Active Listening Skills

Listen for the content of themessage,Listen for the feelings of thespeaker,

Listen without making judgment,Respond to the feelings of thespeakers,

Ask open-ended questions, andReflect back to the speaker whatyou think you are hearing.



W hy Active Listening

Helps us understand others better and shows others we respect them

Allows us to receive accuratemessages

Enables us to respond appropriatelyFailure to listen brings unfortunateresults!

Human beings want to expressthemselves, to be heard.Listening can de-escalate tensesituations.



People can hear four timesfaster than others can talk,

which gives a skilled listener time to sort matters



Elements of ActiveListening

ContentFeelingsProcessClarification



W e were given two ears but

only one mouth.This is because God knew

that listening was twice as

hard as talking.



Encouragement

The purpose is to convey interestand to keep the person talking.To do this you don·t have to agree or disagree with the speaker.Use noncommittal words in apositive tone of voice.´I see«µ ´uh-huh«µ ´That·s

interestingµ ´ W hat did you saythen?µ ´ W hat did he say when yousaid that?µBe aware of your body language!



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Mirroring

Mirroring means you repeat exactlysome of the speaker·s key wordsThe purpose is to show that you arelistening and understanding.To do this, restate the other·s basicideas using his own words.´If I heard you correctly, you are

saying«µ, ´Are you stating«µBe aware of your body language!

(continued



Restating / Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing is using your ownwords to restate the speaker·sfeelings or meaningThe purpose is to show that you are

listening and understanding.To do this, restate the other·s basicideas using your own words.´If I understand you, you aresaying«µ ´In other words, your decision is«µBe aware of your body language!



Reflecting

The purpose is to show that you arelistening and understand what theyare feeling.To do this restate the other·s basicfeeling.´You feel that«µ ´You were prettydisturbed by this«µ

Be aware of your body language!



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Self-disclosure is showing how youfeel about what the speaker said.The purpose is to show your reactionto what the speaker is saying.´I don·t believe this«µ ´He couldnever lie to me«µBe aware of your body language!

(continued)

Self-disclosure



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Questioning / Clarifying refers toasking relevant questions to ensureunderstandingThe purpose is to show that you arelistening and need clarificationregarding some aspect of their message.´ W hat do you mean by that«µ ´I didnot get what you are hinting at by«µBe aware of your body language!

Clarifying



W hen The Emotion IsD irected At YOU«.

Hearing the speaker out diffuses theemotionGiving positive vibes to the speaker that you are ready to listen, softenshis attitudeListening attentively will make itvery difficult for the speaker toremain angry with you.Massaging the speakers ego is animportant part of the communication

skills in highly emotional scenarios.



Tips towards Active Listening:1 . Understand your own comm

style.

2. Be an active listener.3 . Use normal communication.4. Give Feedback

Active Listening



People speak @ 100 to 175 W PM but

can listen intelligently @ 300 W PM.One part of human mind paysattention, so it is easy to go intomind drift.Listen with a purpose. It can be togain information, obtain directions,understand others, solve problems,share interest, see how another person feels, show support, etc.If it is difficult to concentrate thenrepeat the speaker·s words in your mind.

2. Be An Active Listener



Smile,Gestures,Eye contact,Your posture.

3 . Use Non-verbal Comm



Listening & Speaking

Listening takes... ² concentration and energy ² curiosity and open-mindedness ² analysis and understanding

Speaking requires... ² sharp focus ² logical thinking

² clear phrasing ² crisp delivery



Stages of Active Listening

1 . Setting the stage ² Choose an appropriate physical

environment ² Remove distractions ² Be open and accessible ² Listen with empathy

2. Insuring mutual understanding ² Reflect feelings ² Paraphrase main ideas ² Interrupt to clarify ² Confirm next steps



Exercise - Listening

1 . W ho are the people it·s easiest tolisten to?

2. W hat is it about these people that

makes it easier to listen to them?3 . W ho are the people you listen toleast?

4. W hat is it about them that makes it

difficult to listen to them?



´ W e were given two earsbut only one mouth,

because listening is twiceas hard as talking."

Make active listening ahabit«

(it takes 2 1 days to turnsomething into a habit!)



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Obstacles To ActiveListening

W andering MindTuning OutD istractionsPrejudicesToo Many Notes



W hat Interferes W ithListening?

Sheer laziness and/or just not caringNoise and or physical discomfortTuring the speaker off and dwelling

on the plethora of internaldistractionsLetting a remark of the speaker (with which we disagree) develop a

prejudice which clouds or puts astop to any further listeningBoredom - remember, we hear four times faster that we speak



W hat Interferes W ithListening?

D eveloping your own rebuttal or listening mainly to find an opening tostate what you have to say(competitive or combative listening) Allowing personal characteristics of the speaker or his poor delivery toprevent understanding



Behaviors That SupportEffective Listening

² Maintaining relaxed body posture ² Leaning slightly forward if sitting ² Facing person squarely at eye level

² Maintaining an open posture ² Maintaining appropriate distance ² Offering simple acknowledgments ² Reflecting meaning (paraphrase) ² Reflecting emotions ² Using eye contact ² Providing an environment that is

non-distracting



Behaviors That Hinder Effective Listening

² Acting distracted ² Looking here &there (No eye contact)

² Telling your own story without

acknowledging theirs first ² No response or invalid response ² Interrupting, Criticizing, Judging,

D iagnosing or Putting D own ² Giving advice/solutions ² Changing the subject ² Reassuring without acknowledgment



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Evaluating

Gather more information.D ecide whether the information isgenuine.

Evaluate the information.Communicate your evaluation.



4 0

Responding

Learn what the speaker expects.Consider your own time and energy.

D ecide what to do.



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Specific Questions

Ask specific (or closed-ended) questions to get details:

W hoW hatW hereW henW hyW hich

� How many



Listening Styles

ResultsResults- -stylestyle: : Interestedin the bottom line or resultof a message.

ReasonsReasons- -stylestyle: : Interestedin hearing the rationale

behind a message.

ProcessProcess- -stylestyle: : Likes to

discuss issues in detail.



Barriers to EffectiveListening

Internal Barriers:� Hearing what you want to hear � Biased listening� ´Hot Buttonsµ or the Effects of

Emotions on Listening� Physical Barriers

� Semantic Barriers� Lack of Training



The Keys to EffectiveListening

Keys toKeys toEffectiveEffectiveListeningListening

The BadThe BadListener Listener

The Good Listener The Good Listener

1 . Capitalizeon thought

speed

Tends todaydream

Stays with thespeaker, mentally

summarizes thespeaker, weighs

evidence, and

listens betweenthe lines

2. Listen for ideas

Listens for facts

Listens for centralor overall ideas

h ff



The Keys to EffectiveListening



The GoodThe GoodListener Listener

3 . Find anarea of interest

Tunes outdry

speakers or subjects

Listens for anyuseful info

4. Judgecontent,not

delivery

Tunes outdrymonotonespeakers

Assessescontent bylistening to

entire messagebefore making

judgments



Th K Eff i






7 . ResistD istractions

Is easilydistracted

Fightsdistractions andconcentrates on

the speaker

8 . Challengeyourself

Resistslistening to

presentationsof difficult

subject

manner

Treats complexpresentationsas exercisesfor the mind

The Keys to EffectiveListening (cont)

Th K Eff i



The Keys to EffectiveListening (cont)




9 . Hear what is said

Shuts our or denies

unfavorableinformation

Listens to bothfavorable and

unfavorableinformation

10 . Usehandouts,

overheads,or other

visual aids

D oes not takenotes or payattention tovisual aids

Takes notesand uses

visual aids toenhance

understanding



How To Practice ActiveListening

Physical Environment

Attending Posture: SOLER

Listening SkillsQuestioning Skills



Physical Environment

Ensure privacy

Minimize interruptions

Eliminate barriers



Attending Posture

Nonverbal Skill = SOLERS = squarely face personO = use open posture

L = lean toward the personE = use eye contactR = relax, keep it natural



Active Listening

Signs of Active Listeninginclude: ² Responding with full attention.

² Focus on main ideas beingcommunicated. ² Use body language and facial

expressions to respond ² sit up

straight, lean forward, smile, or nod



W orkplace Listening Skills

Jot down summaries in your own wordsFocus on key words and mainideas (do not try to write downeverything) Note actions you need to take

Use bullets ( Q ), asterisks (*),and arrows ( p ) to show ideasthat are related or connected

active listening 1

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