Addictions & Codependency: Captives, Brokenhearted & Bound

09

• As a Christian counselor, at some point, you will face a desperate client (church member or non-believer) who is suffering from substance abuse or has a family member causing hurt from this disease.

• Substance abuse is becoming more common and is on the rise as many states have legalized the use of marijuana, alcohol continues to be approved in more recreational environments, there’s easier access in schools to “candy” products made of Marijuana, and prescriptions drugs are the main “fix” in pain management.

• As Christians, many times it is easy to judge a person suffering from addiction to substances; comments that are widely heard around believers are, “why doesn’t that person just stop using,” “they’re being selfish,” “luckily my child isn’t doing drugs,” etc.

• However, to some extent all people suffer from some type of addiction: Netflix marathons, cellphone, caffeine, workaholics, excessive exercise and diet, gluttony, social media, daily selfies, shopping, and the list goes on.

• In the case of substance abuse, it’s important to understand how the brain is effected, how lethal withdrawal symptoms can be if a person decided to stop “cold turkey (without treatment and all at once),” and, of course, can an addict really ever be cured from their addiction?

• First and foremost, we must understand that addiction never begins as an addiction!

The Progression of Addiction

• Generally, a person begins using substances as a form of recreation, socialization, a coping strategy, or as a family inheritance.

•Family inheritance meaning that the family applauds the use, sees it as normal, and even begins introducing substances such as alcohol to a child at a very young age.

James 1:13-15

“Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with

evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived

gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”

Drug Abuse Statistics in California

• 1.3 billion dollars was the total amount of revenue made in 2018 for medical marijuana.

• 20 million people in the United States suffer from drug or alcohol abuse in the United States.

• In 2015, California seized 800 pounds of heroin, 5,000 pounds of meth, 413,000 pounds of marijuana, 18,000 pounds of cocaine, and 300,000 ecstasy pills.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

• 14% of high school students reported using illicit drugs which included cocaine, inhalants, heroin, methamphetamines, hallucinogens, or ecstasy.

• 14% of children 12 years or older reported using non-prescription opioids.

• 25% of adults 18 years or older have had at least one heavy drinking day which includes five or more drinks.

• 13% of adults 18 years or older currently smoke.

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (Deaths)

• It is estimated that 21,815 deaths occurred in 2016, due to alcoholic liver disease.

• 34,865 deaths were alcohol induced and this number excluded accidents and homicides.

• 70,237 deaths occurred in the United States (2017), due to drug overdose.

It should be noted that at some point in your counseling room, someone will be effected by one of these diseases and will be desperate

for a solution.

•One of the reasons why a person suffering from addiction cannot “just stop” being addicted is because the most important organ of the human body is highly effected and altered during substance use.

• In some cases, drugs over-activate the pleasurable chemicals (Dopamine) which cause euphoria or give the individual a “high.”

• However, long-term use of these drugs creates tolerance and the person no longer feels pleasure outside of their drug use.

• This is what causes the addiction as the person is seeking their “high,” because natural enjoyable moments such as watching your child laugh or the beauty of the beach no longer create pleasure alone.

In other instances, a person suffering from stressful feelings such as anxiety, anger, and discomfort during their withdrawal will seek

the relief of these feeling by using more substances or increasing their dosage.

• Substance abuse is not limited to a person’s race, income, gender, age, or whether you are a Christian or a non-believer.

• I have seen too many pastors, ministers, and church members go through a residential treatment facility seeking help.

• I’ve also seen many Christians living a double life as they attempt to live within Christianity in church, however, they secretly struggle with this disease in the security of their home.

Disclaimer

•As a Christian counselor you will see it all.

• It’s important to withhold judgement and startling facial expressions as you guide someone through this detrimental and destructive disease.

People at a Higher Risk

• Individuals who have a family history of substance abuse have a higher risk of becoming addicted.

• Other potential traits that pose a higher risk of addiction is someone who is naturally adventurous and risk-taking, disconnected, feels lonely, obsessive and compulsive, and has the inability to self-regulate

Continued

• Mental health disorders are generally the underlying cause for addiction, however, in some instances mental health disorders are consequences of the individual using for long-term.

• The most common mental illnesses are anxiety and depression.

Proverbs 12:25

“Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”

Continued

•Grief and loss contribute to an individual using substances as the pain can become too great for someone to cope alone.

Job 2:12-13

“And when they [Job’s friends] saw him from a distance, they did not recognize him. And they raised their voices and wept, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads towards

heaven. And they sat with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his suffering was very great.”

Continued• Trauma is a large contributor to an individual falling into

substance abuse because drugs and alcohol can become a coping mechanism to alleviate very painful emotions.

• Individuals who have fought in wars and struggle with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) are highly susceptible to using drugs and/or alcohol.

• Recurring nightmares

• Pain, loss, and difficulty of being in such a devastating environment

Continued

• Individuals who have been victims of abuse such as physical, sexual, and/or emotional can be at a higher risk for utilizing substances as a coping mechanism as well.

• The severity of these roots and the excessive feeling of shame, guilt, “filthiness,” and depression cause for the desire to numb these negative emotions.

• When a person has not learned adequate coping skills, drugs and alcohol can be a quick “fix.”

Continued• Adolescents are highly susceptible to addictions for many

reasons.

• Still developing their pre-frontal cortex which controls impulsivity, decision-making, and the ability to have self-control when facing risky behavior

• “Experimenting,” particularly with the creation of modern drugs such as cannabis candy, vapes, and school items being available (e.g., markers)

• Socialization – Peer Pressure

Continued

• Research is inconclusive on whether or not a person with addictive traits can actually be at a higher risk for addiction.

• However, my opinion is that if you suffer from other types of addictions, which society deems or accepts as normal such as social media addiction, obsessive dieting, gluttony, etc. you might be at a higher risk for substance abuse.

• The individual spends a great deal of time finding ways to obtain their substance, use it, and recover from its effects.

• Excessive cravings

• Failure to fulfill major role obligations at work, school, home or other environments

• Continued use even after having repeated problems (e.g., marital) caused by the effects of their use

• Continued use even when physically hazardous

• Restlessness, nervousness, excitement, Insomnia, Neglect of children in the home

Alcohol Intoxication

• Behavioral changes (e.g., inappropriate sexual or aggressive behavior, impaired judgment)

• Slurred speech, incoordination, unsteady walk, rapid eye movement, impaired attention or memory, and a daze or coma.

Marijuana Intoxication

• Behavioral changes (e.g., euphoria, anxiety, sensation of slowed time, impaired judgment, social withdrawal)

• Increased appetite, dry mouth, and rapid heart rate

Hallucinogens Intoxication

LSD (“rape drug”), Mushrooms, etc.

• Behavioral changes (e.g., anxiety, depression, fear of “losing one’s mind,” paranoia, impaired judgement)

• Illusions, hallucinations (visual, auditory, and/or tactile), pupils dilated, rapid heart rate, sweating, trembling, blurring of vision, tremors, incoordination

Opioid Intoxication

Prescription Drugs: oxycodone, Vicodin, Morphine, etc.

•Pupils dilated due to severe overdose, drowsiness, coma, slurred speech, and impairment in attention or memory.

Stimulant IntoxicationCaffeine, Nicotine, Cocaine, Amphetamines, & Meth

• Behavioral changes (e.g., euphoria, changes in socialization, hypervigilant, anxiety, tension, anger, and impaired judgment)

• Rapid heart rate, pupils dilated, high or low blood pressure, sweating or chills, nausea or vomiting, evidence of weight loss, muscle weakness, chest pain, respiratory problems, confusion, seizures, or coma

“Over 50 percent of suicides are related to alcohol or drug dependence with about

25 percent of alcoholics committing suicide. In adolescents, the figure may be up to

70 percent (Kanel, 2015, p. 247).”

• The major component in suicidality is hopelessness; this occurs when a person feels that their difficult situation will “never” get better no matter what they do.

• Because of hopelessness, most individuals continue using substances in order to avoid feeling the negative emotions associated with their hardships.

Psalms 13:2-4

“How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? How long shall my enemy be exalted over me? Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep

the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, ‘I have prevailed over him,’ lest my foes

rejoice because I am shaken.”

• In assessing whether your client is feeling suicidal, all Christian counselors must be comfortable asking the following three questions:

1. Do you feel like killing yourself?

2. Do you have a plan to kill yourself?

3. Do you have the means to kill yourself?

• If the individual answered yes to all three questions, they need immediate assistance.

• Notice the word “kill” is used as it is very specific versus the word “harm” which can mean many different things.

• The Christian counselor can call a crisis team, take the client to an emergency room for an evaluation, or call the police right away.

• By asking the questions above, you will not “push” a person towards suicidality.

• A person who is at the brink of suicide has thought their plan out for a long time, has progressed to finding the means (e.g., weapon of choice, pills, overdose, etc.) and having it readily available for the “perfect moment.”

• When a person has disclosed the desire to commit suicide, has discussed their plan, and informed you that they have made all preparation, confidentiality is no longer viable as, by law, they require attention.

• If a person disclosed suicidal thoughts, but has no plan or weapon, they should be referred to a Licensed Clinician as these thoughts can escalate.

• A Licensed Clinician will create a safety plan with the client to ensure their safety.

• Our job is to provide hope to these individuals who have no hope. More importantly, our responsibility is to ensure that they find a reason worth living for and a reason worth recovering from their substance abuse.

Ecclesiastes 7:17

“Be not overly wicked, neither be a fool. Why should you die before you time?”

Disclaimer• Most individuals suffering from addictions will not be

ready for help, even with family interventions, unless they have truly felt the negative consequences from their use.

• This term is known as bottoming out, when a person has ultimately hit “rock bottom.”

• Rock bottom includes losing monetary assistance from family members, no enabling, being moved from locations, losing friends, threats of loved ones leaving, severe medical issues from the abuse, legal issues, and sometimes having no place to live or eat.

Disclaimer• One of the fears, while working in a residential facility,

was hearing that a client had learned to survive in the streets.

• These clients were, typically, the ones that relapsed the soonest or would leave the facility within the first week of treatment.

• This is the hardest part of treatment for the family of the user because they would desperately want to see their loved one cured from this addiction.

As difficult as it will be to hear this, the user must be ready for change and must

understand the connection between their abuse and the effects it has on their lives,

otherwise, family members will lose thousands of dollars in treatment facilities

with no success.

Confession of Sin

• If you receive a client who is suffering from addiction, the first thing you must teach them is confession over their sinful use.

• Psalms 51 is a beautiful prayer in which King David asks the Lord for mercy as he confesses all of his transgressions.

• He asks the Lord to cleanse him and create a clean heart in him.

Divine Healing

• Spiritually speaking many people who have come to know the Lord during their recovery have discussed that in some way their desire or need for substance was no longer there.

• We cannot diminish the power of prayer and fasting over the devasting life of family members suffering from addiction.

Deuteronomy 32:39

“See now that I, even I, am he, and there is no god beside me; I kill and I make alive; I wound and I heal; and there is none that can deliver

out of my hand.”

Celebrate Recovery• Celebrate Recovery is a 12-step program similar to

AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), however, it includes a Christian component.

• The user is taken through a journey of completing 12-steps until they reach sobriety.

• These steps are completed at the user’s own pace and it includes a “sponsor” who is an individual who has been sober for many years now assisting others in the same struggle.

Al-Anon Support Groups

•Al-Anon meetings are support groups for the family members suffering from a loved one’s addiction.

• The National Association for Christian Recovery has a listing of Christian Al-Anon support groups.

Treatment Facilities

• Treatment facilities provide the accurate type of assistance which sometimes requires medication as the person will suffer from severe withdrawal symptoms.

• Many individuals who have attempted sobriety through the “cold turkey” method have died from their body’s falling into shock.

Treatment Facilities• The type of treatment facilities varies from residential

programs (a person lives in the facility), outpatient programs (a person lives at home but goes in various times per week), or sober living facilities (which are long-term living).

• All of these treatment facilities also include individual and family therapy as the user begins to deal with the true rooted issues that began the substance abuse in the first place.

• Sobriety is only the beginning of a journey for individuals who suffer from substance abuse.

• Life after sobriety is the hardest part of their journey.

• Many family members aide into the relapse of an individual because of the pressure and high expectations to see that person “back to normal.”

• Remember that an addict’s brain is so affected by over creating dopamine (the happy chemical).

• When a person becomes sober, their ability to feel pleasure with normal day to day activities can take years to develop.

• The brain has to rewire itself to create dopamine as the use of substances causes the brain to cease creating this chemical because the drugs are creating it on their own.

The recovered user must learn to re-engage in society such as finding employment and

other things; however, if the person becomes overly stressed their desire

to use may flourish.

• The recommendation from a counselor to the family should be for them to have patience.

• The family will need to forgive their loved one for all of the hurt they caused, be vigilant for a relapse, however, never in a nagging manner which may push their loved one back to using.

• Recovery is a very hard and complex journey that involves everyone!

Do’s• See them as human beings who are in deep hurt

• Show them God’s love through your actions and words

• Ensure their safety and yours

• Know the resources and local treatment centers

• Understand their limitations as they are under the influence

Do’s• Consult with a Licensed Clinician

• Provide their basic necessities, such as a warm meal, a blanket, or a change of clothing, if you have that ability

• Counsel the family who is probably hurting and may need guidance. Teach the family not to make excuses, accept, or take responsibility for their loved one’s use. It is not their fault and it can be enabling.

• Pray for them

Don’ts

• Enable their use by giving them money or anything of value. Teach the family not enable their use by allowing them to drink or do drugs in their home.

• Tell them to “just stop using!” We’ve understood the severity of the effects on their body and stopping “cold turkey” can cause death. Teach the family about this as well.

• Judge them. You might be more resilient than they are when it comes to hardships, but they need to learn better coping strategies. We must love them and help them turn away from their sin.

Don’ts

• Set high expectations after their recovery. Understand that life will take time to return to “normalcy” and it may never be the same. The family will need to adjust and be patient; the ultimate goal is to get them to recovery.

• Provide counseling while the person is under the influence. They will not remember anything you said and can pose a risk to your safety.

• Individuals who are codependent are generally known as the spouses and children of substance abusers.

• A person who is codependent will engage in behaviors that enable the user to continue in their use.

• Spouses, children, and parents of a user will become codependent to the user in terms of control and will begin feeling the emotions that the user should be feeling such as guilt, resentment, fear, and shame.

• They become overly involved in the activities of the user such as where are they going? What are they using? What are they buying? Who are they meeting? Etc.

• Codependent children will enable their parents’ use by learning and taking the responsibilities that belong to their parents such as finances, getting a job, and denying that their parents’ have a problem.

Codependent Relationships(Kanel, 2015)

• Deny that the user has a problem: “he’s not an alcoholic.”

• Drink/Use with the user

• Justify the user’s behavior: “She has a very stressful job.”

• Keep their feelings hidden

• Avoid the problem: “if I don’t say anything, I won’t have conflict and that means we have a good marriage.”

Codependent Relationships(Kanel, 2015)

• Minimize the severity: “it’s not that bad, he said he can stop whenever he wants.”

• Protect the image of the user – how other people view him/her

• Avoid reality by eating or working long hours, etc.

• Blaming – criticizing & lecturing the user

• Taking over responsibilities

Codependent Relationships(Kanel, 2015)

• Feeling superior – treating the user like a child

• Controlling

• Enduring

• Waiting

How can I help someone who is codependent?

• The best way to help someone who is in a codependent relationship is to educate them.

• Many times, they engage in this behavior because they feel that they are helping their loved one. However, instead they are aiding in the addiction.

• Showing an individual who is suffering from codependency that they cannot “fix” the abuser, usually provides relief and alleviates their feeling of desperation.

• There comes a point when an individual becomes captive in their addiction and sobriety seems like it’s an impossible accomplishment.

•Romans 1:24, states “therefore, God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves.”

• In my perspective, the lusts of our hearts can be the defilement to our bodies through all types of addiction including sexual addictions.

The Bible is very clear about the difference between someone whose mind is in fleshly

things versus someone whose mind is focused on spiritual things.

Romans 8:5-8 states, “for those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the

flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set

the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is

set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who

are in the flesh cannot please God.”

As we’ve discovered throughout this lesson, a person who is suffering from substance no longer has the capacity to follow God’s law

because their brain (mind) has been so affected by their use.

Their mind becomes set on fleshly things rather than those of the Spirit.

• We have seen and understood the severity of this disease.

• Substance abuse is a complex illness that requires treatment, in most cases, strict boundaries from the family, and healing for the individual.

• The individuals who suffer from substance abuse are captive to their desires, are brokenhearted after dealing with hardships, and are bound by sin.

Isaiah 61 is The Year of the Lord’s Favor, in which we learn that the Lord “binds up the

brokenhearted” proclaims “liberty to the captives,” and opens the prisons for those

“who are bound.”

Homework Class 9

•For this Friday, June 14th: Write a 100 word post on the Facebook group about whether or not your perspective changed towards this population and how; and reply in 50 words to a classmate’s post. Make your post substantive; contribute to the conversation.

Homework Class 9

• For next Monday, June 17th: Write a 1 1/2-page report on on a personal experience you had with someone who suffered from addiction (e.g., friend, family member). How did you help them then? What could you have done differently?

• If you do not have a personal experience, discuss what your fears or concerns are about working with this population. How can you help the family of the user? Is there any more information you’d like to learn to be better prepared?

• Please use the template found on the Intranet and submit via email to: homework@fountainoftruth.com

Homework Class 9 continued

•Before next class on Monday June 24th: Memorize Deuteronomy 32:39

•Record yourself quoting above verses from memory and post to Facebook group.