adultery

AdulteryAdultery

Is It Justified In Some Cases?Is It Justified In Some Cases?

“When the Vow Breaks”Is infidelity justified if your spouse has dementia?Mary A. Fischer // AARP Magazine (Nov. 2011, p.

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“Every Saturday around noon, Herb, 83, kisses his wife good-bye, then leaves their New York apartment and spends the afternoon with his girlfriend. His wife, Ruth, 73, … has no idea her husband is seeing another woman. Three years after being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, Ruth can barely speak or recognize Herb … ‘She can’t hug or even kiss me anymore,’ says Herb. ‘I longed for that closeness with a woman.’”


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“Herb’s situation is increasingly common, experts say ... Alzheimer’s and other cogitative disorders has created, it seems, a new type of spouse: women and men who care for their partners but find romance outside the marriage … Add in other forms of dementia and you’ve got a sizable population in need of care, many of them married.”

Human Morality Is Being Human Morality Is Being AdvocatedAdvocated

• God, not man directs our steps (Jer. 10:23)

• Man’s morality leads to problems (Judg. 17:6; 21:25)


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“But the caregivers face a quandary: They crave intimacy but view extra-marital affairs as a serious moral violation ... Many religious and ethical teachers agree.”

“Still, a new focus on the emotional needs of caregivers has prompted some psychologists, social workers, and even religious leaders to redefine adultery.”

A New Definition of AdulteryA New Definition of AdulteryIs Being AdvocatedIs Being Advocated

• Adultery is defined by God, not “redefined” by man

• All sexual relationships outside of a God-ordained marriage are acts of adultery (Mt. 5:32; 19:9; Mk. 10:11-2; Lk. 16:18; Rom. 7:3)

• All adulterers will be judged (Jn. 8:3-4,11; 1 Cor. 6:9; Gal. 5:19; Heb. 13:4; Rev. 2:22)

Adultery Is Being AdvocatedAdultery Is Being AdvocatedWhat Does the New Testament Say?

• Moikalis (adulterous) = Mt. 12:39; 16:4; Mk. 8:38; Rom. 7:3; Jas. 4:4; 2 Pet. 2:14

• Moikaomai (commit adultery) = Mt. 5:32; 19:9; Mk. 10:11-12

• Moikia (adultery) = Mt. 15:19; Mk. 7:21; Jn. 8:3; Gal. 5:19

• Moikuo (commit adultery) = Mt. 5:27-28; 19:18; Mk. 10:19; Lk. 16:18; 18:20; Jn. 8:4; Rom. 2:22; 13:9; Jas. 2:11; Rev. 2:22

• Moikos (adulterers) = Lk. 18:11; 1 Cor. 6:9; Heb. 13:4; Jas. 4:4


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“Says New Jersey rabbi Richard F. Address, ‘The longevity revolution has created a variety of new life stages. We’re confronted with the challenge of having our religion adapt to these new realities.”

“Even televangelist Pat Robertson … recently said that it might be ethical for a man to divorce his Alzheimer’s-stricken wife and remarry. ‘I can’t fault [the man] for wanting some kind of companionship,” he said…”

A Change In ReligionA Change In ReligionIs Being AdvocatedIs Being Advocated

• God (Mal. 3:6; Jas. 1:17) and Jesus (Heb. 1:11-12; 13:8) do not change in their character

• The NT does not change (Psa. 33:11-12; 119:89; 1 Pet. 1:25)

• The pattern of the NT church does not change (2 Thess. 2:15; 2 Tim. 1:13)


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“For caregivers contemplating new relationships, some ethical guidelines can help. Foremost is maintaining high-quality care for the ailing spouse. ‘As long as you provide dignified care and honor your spouse, you need not feel guilty’ about seeking extramarital companionship, says Cynthia Epstein, a licensed social worker at New York University’s Langone Medical Center. Dementia can persist for 20 years, she adds: ‘That’s a long time do without a gratifying connection.’”


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“Ethicist Arthur Caplan agrees. ‘I don’t think it is abandonment or disloyalty to form a new relationship once your spouse declines to the point where they cannot possibly interact, love, or respond,’ says Caplan, director of the Center for Bioethic at the University of Pennsylvania. ‘As long as you do your best to make sure they are properly cared for, you are entitled to seek companionship.’”

Situation Ethics and Moral Situation Ethics and Moral RelativityRelativity

Are Being AdvocatedAre Being Advocated• Clearly, what is being advocated by these “licensed

experts” is situation ethics and moral relativity; that is, it is justified to commit adultery given the situation of Alzheimer's, dementia, etc.

• Remember, wrong is wrong, sin is sin as defined by God and in all situations (Rom. 3:23; 1 Jn. 3:4; 5:17)

• We are not allowed to do evil that good may come (Rom. 3:8; 6:1)

Situation Ethics and Moral Situation Ethics and Moral RelativityRelativity

Are Being AdvocatedAre Being Advocated• Situation ethics insults God (Rom. 3:4)

• Situation ethics deifies man (Prov. 14:12)

• Situation ethics redefines the Bible and sin (Jn. 12:48; 17:17; 1 Jn. 3:5; 15:17)

• Situation ethics perverts love (Jn. 14:15; 15:14; Rom. 13:8-10; 1 Jn. 5:4)

What Other Cases of Adultery Will What Other Cases of Adultery Will We Justify in the Future?We Justify in the Future?

• Situations involving a coma or a stroke

• Situations involving an extended hospital stay

• Situations of pedophilia or incest


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The article goes on to discuss the following issues…

What constitutes “proper” care…

Married caregivers must respect prospective partners enough to provide clear ground rules…

Those considering dating a married caregiver must be realistic…


82)

The article goes on to discuss the following issues…

Should caregivers confess their new relationships?

Those married with dementia should seek romances

What about lonely caregivers who believe dating is unacceptable?


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“For his part, caregiver Herb sees a therapist weekly and often discusses his guilt over his affair. Still, he says, his girlfriend’s affection has revitalized him. ‘I’m still a normal male who has needs,’ he says, ‘and this new relationship has been wonderful.’”

What Is A Christian To Do?What Is A Christian To Do?

But evil men and impostors shall wax worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived.But abide thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them.And that from a babe thou hast known the sacred writings which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.Every scripture inspired of God is also profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for instruction which is in righteousness.That the man of God may be complete, furnished completely unto every good work. (2 Timothy 3:13-17)

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