alice& - dennis maganza · ! 3! characters!by!scene!breakdown! act&i& lewis!carrolling!...
TRANSCRIPT
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Alice By
Dennis M. Maganza
Adapted from Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass by
Lewis Carroll
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ABOUT ALICE The concept of this adaptation is total adaptability to the needs of each unique presentation. This is an ensemble production with actors playing a variety of roles. Cast size ranges from six to whatever your need or desire. Multiple actresses can actually share even the role of Alice, which was originally played by only one actress that did not change character. Each scene could have a different actress and prior to each scene, an identifying character prop, i.e. hair bow, apron, etc. would be transferred to another performer. The original play allowed the audience to pick from possible scenes, so that each show would vary. However, it is quite acceptable to simply select specific scenes as you create your own cutting. The recommendation is that GARDEN OF FLOWERS follows the opening, THE JABBERWOCKY opens Act 2, and THE WHITE KNIGHT precedes the finale. Costumes: Very simple. Costume pieces to identify characters. Avoid being too literal. It will inhibit the imagination. Props should also be suggested or pantomimed. Use the imagination of a child playing with a stick that becomes a gun, a pot that is a hat, a box that becomes a boat. Setting: Boxes of various sizes, depicting children’s alphabet blocks. Small platforms as needed. Again, simplicity will allow for more imagination.
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Characters by Scene Breakdown Act I Lewis Carrolling Players 1-‐6 Alice One player becomes Kitty Narrator White Rabbit Sister The Garden of Live Flowers Narrator Alice Tiger-‐Lily Rose Daisy Red Queen Pig and Pepper Narrator Alice Duchess Advice from Caterpillar Narrator Alice Caterpillar Youth Father Cheshire Cat Narrator Alice Cat Tea Party Narrator Hare Mouse Hatter Alice Time Act II Players 1-‐6 Alice Tweedle Dee Tweedle Dum Queen of Hearts Humpty Dumpty
Act II (cont’d) Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum Alice Dum Dee Narrator Walrus and Carpenter Dee Dum Alice Players 1-‐6 (Oysters) Walrus Carpenter Narrator Humpty Dumpty Humpty Dumpty Alice Narrator Alice Tree Narrator Gardener 1 Gardener 2 Roses? White Rabbit Cheshire Cat Duchess White Knight White Knight Red Knight 2 horses (players?) Players 1-‐6 Final Scene Players 1-‐6
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Act I Lewis Carrolling
(Opening…blackout…lights raise slowly as childlike calls of “Alice” are echoed by the actors. Calls become louder and turn into taunts of “Salice.” Alice has been sleeping on the center
box.)
Alice (Awakes startled. She freezes. )
(Actors slowly appear from behind boxes as following verses are spoken gently.)
Player 5
All in golden afternoon Full leisurely we glide;
For both our oars, with little skill, By little arms are plied,
While little hand make vain pretence Our wanderings to guide.
Player 2
Child of the pure unclouded brow And dreaming eyes of wonder!
Though time be fleet, and I and thou Are half a life asunder,
Thy loving smile will surely hail The love-‐gift of a fairy tale.
(Players begin to circle C box where Alice is now standing, using the same attitudes as will be
used when lines are spoken later in the play.)
Player 6 What’s your name, child?
Alice
My name is Alice.
Player 5 Who are you?
Alice
I’m Alice.
Player 6 Where do you come from, and where are you going?
Alice
I don’t know.
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Player 3 We’re all mad here.
Alice
I don’t want to go among mad people.
Player 1 Ditto. Ditto. Ditto.
Player 2
What does it matter where your body is, as long as you know where your head is?
Player 6 Turn out your toes when you walk, and always remember who you are.
Alice
I’m Alice.
Player 5 That’s a stupid name enough.
Alice
It is not a stupid name! (Repetition of “Salice,” under lines as they get louder and more taunting.)
Player 5
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men, couldn’t put Salice together again.
Player 3 Tell us all you know about ravens and writing desks.
Player 1
You know no more than if you were a bud.
Player 6 May it please, your majesty, we were only trying…
Player 4
Speaking of axes, chop off her head!
Player 2 When I use a word extra, I pay it extra.
Alice
(Shouts, freezing the action) My name is not Salice! My name is Alice! (With each line players break from the circle and open up to audience.)
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Player 4 A childish story take,
Player 1
And with a gentle hand
Player 6 Lay it where childhood’s dreams are twined
Player 3
In memory’s mystic band,
Player 5 Like pilgrim’s withered wreath of flowers
Player 2
Plucked in a far-‐off land.
Player 4 And, though the shadow of a sigh
Player 1
May tremble through the story,
Player 6 For “happy summer days” gone by.
Player 3
And vanish’d summer glory –
Player 5 It shall not touch, with breath of bale,
Player 2
The pleasance of a fairy-‐tale.
Players gently sing London Bridge melody under the following lines.
Player 3 Once upon a time there was a girl named Alice.
Alice
That’s me!
Player 5 She was a very ugly girl.
Alice
No, I’m not. I’m unique.
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Player 5 Just kidding.
Player 4
Who loved to play with kitten.
Player 6 Meow. Acting like a kitten.
Alice
Kitty, Kitty.
Player 6 Meow
Player 1
They loved to play in the drawing room. (Players begin to pantomime environment of the room including looking glass, which is positioned on center box.)
Alice
My, how spacious.
Player 2 In front of the huge fireplace.
Alice
My, how cozy.
Player 6 Meow.
Player 4
With a mantelpiece.
Alice My, how Victorian.
Players
And a looking-‐glass. (Holy noises.)
Alice My, how amusing.
(Players giggle.)
Alice
(Scolding Kitty as a parent would a child.) Oh, you wicked, wicked little thing! Do you know I was so angry, Kitty, when I saw all the mischief you had been doing. I was very nearly opening the window and putting you out into the cold! And you’d have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling! What have you got to say for yourself? Now, don’t interrupt me!
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Alice (cont’d) I’m going to tell you all your faults. Number One: you squeak too much. Number two: you spilt the saucer of milk and made a horrible mess of things. Number three: you unwound the ball of wool while I wasn’t looking! That’s three faults, Kitty, and you’ve not been
punished for any of them yet. You know I’m saving up all your punishments for the next week (suddenly frightened by the thought) -‐ – Suppose my parents had saved up all my punishments? What would they do at the end of a year? I should be sent to prison. Suppose each punishment was to go without dinner. I should have to go without fifty
dinners at once! Oh, what a tummy ache I’d have! (Crosses to left to imaginary window) Do you hear the snow against the windowpanes, Kitty? How nice and soft it sounds! Just as if someone were kissing the window. (Returning to Kitty) Kitty, can you play chess? Kitty, dear, let’s pretend. (Players shout and readjust as if in an earthquake. One player steps out.)
Narrator
And here I wish I could tell you half the things Alice used to say, beginning with her favorite phrase – -‐
Alice
(Very excited.) Let’s pretend.
Narrator She had had quite a long argument with her sister only the day before -‐ -‐ all because Alice
had begun with -‐ -‐
Alice (Addressing a player who becomes her sister.) Let’s pretend we’re kings and queens.
Narrator
And her sister, who liked being very exact had argued -‐ -‐
Sister We can’t! There’s only two of us, stupid. (Turns away.)
Narrator
And Alice had been reduced at last to say -‐ -‐
Alice (Dismissing sister’s comment) Well, you can be the Queen of Hearts, then and I’ll be the rest.
(All cheer)
Narrator And once she had really frightened her old nurse by shouting suddenly in her ear -‐ -‐
Alice
Nurse! Do let’s pretend that I’m a hungry hyena and you’re a bone. (Nurse screams and faints.)
Narrator
But this is taking us away from Alice’s speech to the kitten.
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Alice Let pretend that you’re the Red Queen, like a chessboard, Kitty! (Trying to make the cat sit up) Do you know, I think if you sat up and folded your arms, you’d look exactly like her.
(Kitty screams and runs away)
Narrator But the kitten would not fold its arms properly.
Alice
Well, if you’re going to be so miserably persnickety, I’ll find something else to occupy my time. (Turns to see looking-glass U.C.) The looking-‐glass! (Alice is on one side of mirror S.L. as a player mirrors her S. R.) I’ll tell you all my ideas about the looking-‐glass. First, there’s a room you can see through the glass -‐ -‐ that’s just the same as our drawing room, only the things go the other way. The books in the looking-‐glass are something like our books only the words go the opposite way. I know that because I’ve held up one our books to the glass and then they hold up one in the looking-‐glass. My, how curious it would be to live beyond the looking-‐glass. How nice it would be if we could only get through the looking-‐glass. I’m sure it’s got, oh, such beautiful things in it! Let’s pretend there’s a way of getting through
into it, somehow. It’s getting all soft like gauze, so that we can get through. Why, it’s turning into a sort of mist now, I declare! It’ll be easy enough to get through -‐ -‐ (Alice and mirror
image touch and reverse positions in mirror)
Narrator And certainly the glass was beginning to melt away, just like a bright silvery mist. In
another moment Alice was through the glass.
Alice I’m through the looking-‐glass.
(Lights change to alternating colors. Flashing. Characters run in circles around and through
the boxes shouting.)
Narrator Never once considering how in world she was to get out again. The hole went round like a spiral for some way, and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a
moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down what seemed to be a very deep well. Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for she has plenty of time as she went round to look about her, and to wonder what was going to
happen next. Down, down, down -‐ -‐ would the fall never come to an end?
Alice (Spinning center stage as other characters run about.) I wonder how many miles I’ve fallen by this time? I must be getting somewhere near the center of the earth. I wonder if the
people will walk on their heads. I’m sure they’ll be from a foreign country. Maybe they’ll be from New Zealand, or Australia, or maybe even China.
Narrator And suddenly, she hit the ground.
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Alice Ooh. That hurt my bottom. Well, after such a fall I shall not fear falling down the stairs! How brave they’ll think of me at home! (Players make alarm clock noises. Player jumps up
and runs around Alice)
White Rabbit Oh, my ears and whiskers.
Narrator
(Stepping forward) Suddenly a white rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her. (Rabbit continues circling) There was nothing so very remarkable in that: nor did Alice think it so
very much out of the ordinary it was to hear the Rabbit say to itself -‐ -‐
White Rabbit Oh, dear! Oh, dear! I shall be too late!
Narrator
When she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this.
Alice I should have.
Narrator
But at the time it all seemed quite natural.
Alice But I didn’t. (Rabbit stops circling and pantomimes watch.)
Narrator
But when the Rabbit actually took a watch out of its waistcoat-‐pocket, and looked at it, and then hurried on, Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind -‐ -‐
Alice
I’ve never seen anything such as that before.
Narrator That she had never seen anything such as that before, and burning with curiosity -‐ -‐
Alice
Oh, my goodness!
(Rabbit runs behind the S. L. box, Alice follows continuing around the box to C.)
Narrator She ran after it. She was close behind it, when she turned to the corner, but the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long, low hall, which was surrounded by doors.
Suddenly Alice found a little door about fifteen inches high.
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Alice
(Sees a small box L) My, how curious. What a small door. (Mumbling, with head in box)
Players What?!
Alice
My head will fit, but my shoulders won’t. What good is my head without my shoulders?
Narrator There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so she went back to a table, half hoping she might find something for shutting people up like telescopes. She found a little
bottle on it.
Alice This was certainly not here before.
Narrator
And tied round the neck of the bottle was a label with the words -‐ -‐
Players DRINK ME!
Alice
DRINK ME!
Narrator Beautifully printed on it in large letters. It was very well to say, “Drink me,” but the wise
little Alice was not going to do that in a hurry.
Alice No, I’ll look first and see whether it’s marked “poison” or not.
Narrator
For she had read several nasty little stories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts, and other unpleasant things, all because they would not remember the
simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-‐hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long: and that, if you cut your finger very deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds: and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked “poison,” it is
almost certain to disagree with you sooner or later. However this bottle was not poison, so Alice ventured to taste it. (Alice pantomimes removing cork from the bottle. Players provide popping sound. Alice begins to drink.) Finding it very nice (it had, in fact, a sort of mixed flavor of cherry-‐tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast), she
very soon finished it off. (Alice belches)
Alice What a curious feeling! (Players crouch on various boxes as Alice stands on tiptoes.) I must be shutting up like a telescope! (Shouting with each readjustment, Alice shrinks to crouching
position as players grow to stand on tiptoes.)
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Narrator
And so it was indeed: She was now only ten inches high, and her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right size for going through the little door into the lovely garden. First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was going to shrink any
further: she felt a little nervous about this -‐ -‐ Alice
For it might never end, you know.
Narrator Alice said to herself.
Alice
For I might disappear altogether.
Players Oh, my!
Alice
Well, I could.
Narrator So she waited.
Alice
But nothing happened.
Narrator After a while, finding that nothing more happened -‐ -‐
Alice
I just said that.
Narrator She decided on going into the garden at once. (Alice goes into center box.)
The Garden of Live Flowers
(Alice comes out other side of box as players create a garden environment. Tiger-lily on S.L.
box and other on C. Tree on stage R. box. Players chirp to create exterior effect.)
Narrator She came upon a large flowerbed, with a border of daisies and a willow tree growing in the
middle.
Alice (Moving to Lily) O’ Tiger-‐Lily, I wish you could talk!
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Tiger-Lily We can talk, when there’s anybody worth talking to.
Narrator
Alice was so astonished that she couldn’t speak for a minute: it quite seems to take her breath away. (Alice makes stuttering sounds) At length, as the Tiger-‐Lily only went waving
about, she spoke again, in a timid voice -‐ -‐ almost a whisper.
Alice And can all the flowers talk?
Tiger – Lily
As well as you can, a great deal louder.
Rose (Haughtily) It isn’t manners for us to begin, you know, and I really was wondering to
myself, “Her face has got some sense in it, though it’s not a clever one. Still, you’re the right color, and that goes a long way.”
Tiger-Lily
(Critical) I don’t care about the color. If only her petals curled up a little more, she’d be all right.
Narrator Alice didn’t like being criticized, so she began asking questions herself.
Alice
Aren’t you sometimes frightened at being planted out here, with nobody to take care of you?
Rose There’s a tree. What else is it good for?
Tree
I am a Blue Spruce.
Alice But what could it do if any danger came?
Rose
It could bark.
Daisy It says, “Bough-‐wough!” That’s why its branches are called boughs. Get it! (They all laugh.)
Tiger-Lily
Silence, every one of you! They know I can’t get them or they wouldn’t dare to do it.
Alice (Frustrated.) Never mind! If you don’t hold your tongue, I’ll pick you.
(Flowers recoil in fear.)
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Tiger-Lily
The daisies are worst of all. When one speaks they all begin together, and it’s enough to make one wither to hear the way they go on!
Alice
How is it you can all talk so nicely? I’ve been in many gardens before, but none of the flowers could talk.
Tiger-Lily
Put your hand down on our bed. Then you’ll know why.
Alice (Touching the box where Lily is standing.) It’s very hard, but I don’t see what that has to do
with it.
Tiger-Lily In most gardens, they make the beds too soft so that the flowers are always asleep.
Narrator
This sounded a very good reason, and Alice was quite pleased to know it.
Alice Oh! I never thought of that before.
Rose
It’s my opinion that you never think at all.
Daisy I never saw anybody look stupider.
Tiger-Lily
Hold your tongue! As if you ever saw anybody! You keep your head under the leaves, and snore away there, till you know no more what’s going on in the world, than if you were a
bud!
Alice (Frustrated) Are there any more people in the garden besides me?
Rose
There’s one other flower in the garden that can move about like you. I wonder how you do it -‐ -‐
Tiger-Lily You’re always wondering.
Rose But she’s more bushy than you are.
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Alice Is she like me? There’s another little girl in the garden, somewhere!
Rose
Well, she has the same awkward shape as you, but she’s redder -‐ -‐ and her petals are shorter, I think.
Tiger-Lily
They’re done up close, like a tulip not tumbled about, like yours.
Rose But that’s not your fault. You’re beginning to fade, and you know -‐ -‐ and then one can’t help
one’s petals getting a little untidy.
Narrator Alice didn’t like this idea at all: so, to change the subject, she asked -‐ -‐
Alice
Does she ever come out here?
Rose I dare say you’ll see her soon. She’s one of the kind that has nine spikes, you know.
Alice
Where does she wear them?
Rose Why, all around her head of course. I was wondering why you hadn’t got some too. I
thought it was the regular rule.
Daisy (Shouting) She’s coming! I hear her coming this way!! (Red Queen appears S.L.)
Narrator
Alice looked ‘round eagerly and found that it was the Red Queen.
Alice (Queen runs S.L. to S.R.) She’s quite tall and moves very fast.
Queen
It’s the fresh air that does it. Wonderfully fine air it is.
Alice I think I’ll go and meet her . . .(Alice moves S.R. but the Queen runs L. Alice moves L. and
Queen R., continues until Alice is almost spinning.)
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Narrator Said Alice, for, though the flowers were interesting enough, she felt that it would be far grander to have a talk with a real Queen. So, Alice set off at once towards the Red Queen, but to her surprise she lost sight of her in a moment and found herself walking backwards. A little provoked, she drew back and after looking everywhere for the Queen (who she spied at last, a long way off), she thought she would try the plan this time, of walking in the opposite direction. (Alice begins to walk backwards S. R. Queen makes one large circle of stage and they meet S. R.) It succeeded beautifully; in a moment Alice found herself face to face with the Red Queen.
Alice
I’m face to face with the Red Queen.
Red Queen Where do you come from? And where are you going? Look up, speak nicely, and don’t
twiddle your fingers. Answer me at once!
Narrator Alice attended to all these directions and explained, as well as she could, that she had lost
her way.
Alice I lost my way.
Red Queen
I don’t know what you mean by your way: all the ways about here belong to me -‐ -‐ but why did you come out here at all? Curtsey while you’re thinking. It saves time. (Alice does so.) It’s time for you to answer now. Open your mouth a little wider when you speak, and
always say “Your Majesty.”
Alice I only wanted to see what the garden was like, Your Majesty.
Red Queen
That’s right: though, when you say, “garden” -‐ -‐ I’ve seen gardens, compared with which this would be a wilderness.
Narrator
Alice curtseyed again, as she was afraid from the Queen’s tone that she was a little offended.
Alice I’m sorry to have offended you.
Red Queen
No offense taken. Shall we go on a walk? (They begin walking in place; soon they are running in place)
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Narrator Alice never could quite make out in thinking it over afterwards, how it was that they began: all she remembers is that they were running hand in hand, and the Queen went so fast that
it was all she could do to keep up with her: and still the Queen kept crying -‐ -‐
Red Queen Faster! Faster!
Narrator
But Alice felt she could not go any faster. And the most curious part of the thing was, that the trees and other things round then never changed their places at all: however fast they
went, they never seemed to pass anything.
Alice I don’t think we’re passing anything.
Red Queen
Faster! Faster! Don’t try to talk!
Alice Why, I do believe we’ve been under this tree the whole time. Everything’s just as it was.
Red Queen
Of course it is. What way would you have it? (They stop running with the sound of screeching brakes.)
Alice
Well, in our country you’d generally get to somewhere else -‐ -‐ if you ran very fast for a long time as we’ve been doing.
Red Queen
A slow sort of country! Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else you must run at least twice as fast as that.
Alice
I’d rather not try, please! I’m quite content to stay here -‐ -‐ only I am so hot and thirsty!
Red Queen I know what you’d like! Have a cracker? (Takes out imaginary cracker and stuffs it in Alice’s
mouth.)
Alice Thank you, but I -‐ -‐ (gagging on cracker)
Narrator
Alice thought it would not be civil to say “No,” though it wasn’t at all what she wanted. So she took it, and ate it as well as she could: and it was very dry: and she thought she had never been so nearly choked in all her life. She felt as if she would die, it was so terrible.
What a horrible experience…
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Alice (To narrator) Why don’t you hush.
Red Queen
Have another cracker?
Alice (Shouts.) No, thank you. One is quite enough.
Red Queen
(Begins to exit S. L.) Speak in French when you can’t think of the English for a thing -‐ -‐ turn out your toes as you walk -‐ -‐ and always remember who you are!
Alice
I’m Alice.
Narrator She did not wait for Alice to curtsey (Queen ducks behind S.L. box) and suddenly she was
gone. Whether she vanished into the air, or whether she moved away -‐ -‐
Alice For she does move very quickly.
Narrator
There was no way of telling, but she was gone. (All other characters disappear behind boxes, leaving Alice alone. Alice waits a second, hoping something will happen. Nothing does.)
Alice
(Confused.) Well, now what do I do? (A player hops on the S. R. box and another the S. L. box.)
S. R. Player The Duchess lives in this direction.
S. L. Player
And a caterpillar lives over here. Who would you like to visit?
Alice I don’t know. (Addressing the audience.) Do you have a preference? Perhaps you could help
me. Why don’t you clap, to let me know which way you want to go. (Moves S. L.) Who wants to visit the caterpillar? (Listens for a response. Moves S. R.) Who would like to see the Duchess? (Depending on choices Players move to position for selected story. If
audience response is uncertain or equal, ask individual audience members.)
Pig and Pepper
(Players sing tune to “Pop goes the Weasel” as environment is created. Duchess is on S.L. box with baby on lap. Cook is center pantomiming cooking on a stove.)
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Narrator Alice suddenly found herself in a large kitchen, which was full of smoke from one end to the other: The Duchess was sitting rocking a baby: the cook was stirring a large pot of soup.
Alice
There’s certainly too much pepper in that soup. (Sneezing.) (Cook stirs soup wildly, baby cries loudly.)
Narrator
There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was sneezing and crying constantly without a moment’s pause. Alice was trying to initiate conversation, when the cook started throwing anything she could get her hands on towards the Duchess and the baby. First the fire-‐irons, followed by a shower of
saucepans, plates and dishes. (Cook pantomimes throwing these objects, players make thudding sounds as objects hit baby’s head.) The Duchess took no note of them, even when they hit her; and the baby was crying so much already, that it was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.
Alice
Oh, please mind what you’re doing! (Baby screams and grabs nose.) Oh, there goes his precious nose!
Duchess
If everybody minded their own business, the world would go round a deal faster than it does.
Alice Which would not be an advantage. Just think what work it would make with the day and
night! You see the earth takes twenty-‐four hours to turn round on its axis -‐ -‐
Duchess Talking of axes, chop off her head! (Cook threatens with imaginary cleaver.)
Narrator
Alice glances rather anxiously at the cook -‐ -‐ -‐ but she didn’t do it. (Cook returns to stirring soup.)
Alice Twenty-‐four hour, I think; or is it twelve?
Duchess
Oh, don’t bother me. I never could abide figures.
Narrator And with that she began singing a sort of lullaby to the child, and giving it a violent shake at
the end of every line: -‐ -‐
Duchess Speak roughly to your little boy, (shakes child.)
And beat him when he sneezes:
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Duchess (cont’d)
He only does it to annoy (shakes child) Because he knows it teases (drops child on floor)
Alice
Oh, my heavens!
Duchess Here! You may rock it a bit if you like. I must go and get ready to play croquet with the
Queen.
Narrator The Duchess hurried out of the room, followed by the cook. The cook picked up a frying-‐
pan, threw it at the Duchess and hit her. (Players make sound as imaginary pan hits Duchess. Cook and Duchess exit chasing each other.)
Alice
(Alice picks up baby) What an odd-‐shaped creature. Its arms and legs are out in all directions, like a starfish. The poor little thing is snorting like a steam engine and keeps doubling itself up and straightening itself out again. It’s everything I can do to hold it. If I don’t take this child away with me, they’re sure to kill it in a day or two. Wouldn’t it be
murder to leave it behind? (Baby slowly begins to take on attributes of a pig.)
Narrator She said the last words out loud, and the little thing grunted in reply.
Alice
Don’t grunt. That’s not all a proper way of expressing yourself.
Narrator The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no doubt that it had a very turned-‐up nose, much more like a snout than a real nose: also its eyes were getting extremely small for a baby; altogether,
Alice did not like the look of the thing at all.
Alice But perhaps it was only sobbing.
Narrator
She thought, and looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears.
Alice The poor little thing sobbed again. If you’re going to turn into a pig, my dear, I’ll have nothing more to do with you. Mind now! Now what am I going to do with this creature,
when I get it home?
Narrator Bacon, ham, sausage?
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Alice If it had grown up, it would have made dreadfully ugly child: but it makes a rather a
handsome ham. I mean pig. I think?
Narrator And she began thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as pigs, and
was just saying to herself -‐ -‐
Alice If one only knew the right way to change them from pigs to children. (Pig begins to snort and tries to lick Alice.) Stop that! Don’t. (Alice moves away and Pig follows in chase, snorting.) Please stay away! (Alice runs around set returning to C. Pig ducks behind box.) Well, I’m rid
of that nasty, old pig . . . but now where am I?
(Choices are presented as in early selection. The next choice is between “Cheshire Cat” and the “Caterpillar.” If “Pig and the Pepper” were a second choice, it would move
directly into “Mad Tea Party.”)
Advice from a Caterpillar
(Players sing tune to London Bridge is Falling Down as environment is created. Caterpillar sits on S. L. box. Alice pantomimes narration)
Narrator
There was a large mushroom growing near Alice, about the same height as herself: and when she had looked under it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her that she might as well look and see what was on top of it. She peeped over the edge of the
mushroom and her eyes immediately met those of a large blue caterpillar that was sitting on top, with its arms folded, and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else.
The caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence: at last the caterpillar addressed her in a timid, sleepy voice.
Caterpillar Who are you?
Narrator
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied rather shyly.
Alice I -‐ -‐ I hardly know, Sir, or Ma’am, just at present -‐ -‐ at least I know who I was when I got up
this morning, but I think I must have changed several times since then.
Caterpillar What do you mean by that? Explain yourself!
Alice
I can’t explain myself, I’m afraid, Sir, or Ma’am, because I’m not myself, you see. (Crossing S.R.)
22
Caterpillar I don’t see.
Alice
I’m afraid I can’t put it more clearly, for I can’t understand it myself, to begin with; and seeing so many strange things within a day is very confusing.
Caterpillar It isn’t.
Alice
(Turning back to Caterpillar.) Well, perhaps you haven’t found it so yet, but when you experience metamorphosis -‐ -‐ you will someday, you know -‐ -‐ and then turn into a cocoon, and then a chrysalis, and then after that into a beautiful butterfly, or nasty moth, I should
think you’ll feel it a little odd, won’t you?
Caterpillar Not a bit.
Alice
(Crossing back to Caterpillar) Well, perhaps your feelings may be different: all I know is, it would feel very odd to me.
Caterpillar
You! Who are you? (Alice realizes that she is in same position she started in.)
Narrator Which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation. Alice felt a little
irritated at the Caterpillar’s making such very short remarks, and she drew herself up and said, very gravely -‐ -‐
Alice
(Crossing S.L. of box.) I think you ought to tell me who you are, first.
Caterpillar Why?
Alice Because …
Narrator
Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not think of any good reason, and the Caterpillar seemed to be in a very unpleasant state of mind, she turned away. (Alice
crosses in front of Caterpillar, as if leaving.)
Caterpillar Come back! I’ve something important to say!
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Narrator This sounded promising, certainly. Alice turned and came back again.
Caterpillar
Keep your temper.
Alice Is that all?
Caterpillar
No.
Narrator Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else to do, and perhaps after all it
might tell her something worth hearing.
Caterpillar So, you think this world is strange, do you?
Alice
I’m afraid I do, Sir or Ma’am.
Caterpillar Well, just because you think something is strange does not make it so. As in this poem,
Father William. (Players begin a sound wheel, while two players recite the poem in time to the rhythm.)
Youth
“You are old, Father William,” the young man said, “And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head -‐ -‐ (Father stands on his head.) Do you think at your age, it is right?”
Father
(Standing on his head.) “In my youth,” Father William replied to his son, “I feared it might injure the brain;
But now that I’m perfectly sure I have none, Why, I do it again and again.” (Does forward roll out of headstand.)
Youth
(Crossing S.R.) “You are old,” said the youth, “As I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a somersault in at the door -‐ -‐
Pray what is the meaning for that?”
Father (Does forward roll) “In my youth,” said the sage, as he shook his gray locks,
“I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment -‐ -‐ one shilling a jar – -‐
24
Allow me to sell you a couple?”
Youth You are old,” said the youth, “and your jaws are too weak for anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, with the bones and the beak -‐ -‐ Pray how did you manage to do it?”
Father
(Picks imaginary metal bar and bends it in his teeth) “In my youth,” said his father, “I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength that it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.”
Youth “You are old,” said the youth, “one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end (Father pantomimes balancing an eel on his nose.) of your
nose -‐ -‐ What made you so awfully clever?”
Father “I have answered three question, and that is enough,” (Tossing eel into the air and catching it
in his pocket.) Said his father, “Don’t give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be
off, or I’ll kick you down stairs!” (Chases son, both duck behind boxes.)
Caterpillar And the same to you.
Alice
(To audience) I wish the creatures wouldn’t be so easily offended!
Caterpillar You’ll get used to it in time.
(If the Caterpillar is the first selection…)
Caterpillar
There’s a Cheshire Cat over there. (Pointing S.R.) And a Duchess there. (Pointing S.R.) They are even stronger than me! (Disappears behind a box)
(If Caterpillar is the second choice…) Caterpillar disappears behind box and production
goes immediately into music for “Mad Tea Party.”
The Cheshire Cat (Players begin meowing, purring. Sound grows louder and louder then suddenly stops. Cat
appears on S.R. box. A player’s arm acts as his tail.)
25
Narrator
Alice was a little startled by seeing a Cat.
Cat A Cheshire Cat.
Narrator
Sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off. The cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good natured, she thought: still it has very long claws and a great many teeth, so she
felt that it ought to be treated with respect.
Alice Cheshire Kitty? (Crossing to cat)
Narrator
She began rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would like the name; however, it only grinned a little wider.
Alice
(To the audience) It looks pleased so far. Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
Cat
That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice I don’t much care where.
Cat
Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.
Alice So long as I get somewhere.
Cat
Oh, you’re sure to do that, if you only walk long enough.
Narrator Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she asked another question.
Alice
What sort of people live about here?
Cat (Looking left and pointing right) In that direction lives a Hatter, (looking right and pointing
left) and in that direction lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they’re both mad.
Alice (Frightened.) But I don’t want to go among mad people.
26
Cat
Oh, you can’t help that. We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.
Alice How do you know I’m mad?
Cat
You must be, or you wouldn’t have come here.
Alice And how do you know that you’re mad?
Cat
To begin with, a dog’s not mad. You grant that?
Alice I suppose so.
Cat
Well, then, you see a dog growls when it’s angry, and wags its tail when it’s pleased. Now I growl when I’m pleased, and wag my tail when I’m angry. Therefore, I’m mad.
Alice
I call it purring, not growling.
Cat Call it what you like. Will you play croquet with the Queen today?
Alice
I should like it very much, but I haven’t been invited yet.
Cat You’ll see me there.
Narrator
And with that, the Cat vanished. (Cat pops behind box.) Alice was not much surprised at this. She was getting very well used to weird things happening. While she was still looking
at the place where it had been, it suddenly appeared again. (Cat pops back up.)
Cat By-‐the-‐bye, what became of the baby?
(Following section is said if “Pig and Pepper” has been performed.)
Alice
It turned into a pig.
Cat I thought it would.
27
Narrator
Said the Cat and vanished again.
Cat (Re-appears) Did you say pig or fig?
Alice
I said pig. And I wish you wouldn’t keep appearing and re-‐appearing so suddenly. You’re driving me crazy.
Cat
I told you so. (Laughing insanely)
Narrator Said the Cat. And this time it vanished quite slowly beginning with the end of the tail and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone. (Cat’s head has been resting on its hands and as the rest of the cat disappears, the hands remain in the
shape of a smile.)
Alice Well, I’ve often seen a cat without a grin, but a grin without a cat! That’s the most curious
thing I ever saw in my life!
Cat (Pops back up) If you think I’m curious, wait till you’ve been to the tea party!
(Music begins for “A Mad Tea Party.”)
A Mad Tea Party
(Players sing tune to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. Hatter and Hare pantomime drinking tea
at center box, while Mouse sleeps on same box.)
Narrator There was a table set out under a tree, and under the tree was the March Hare making
rabbit noises.
Hare What’s a rabbit noise?
Mouse
(Half asleep) (Neighs)
Hare and Hatter Nah!
Mouse (Quacks)
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Hare and Hatter Nah!
Mouse (Makes rabbit noise)
Hare
Yeah! (Makes rabbit noise)
Narrator (Hatter and Hare climb onto box, on top of Mouse.) Also at the table was the Hatter, and they were having tea; a Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two were
using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and talking over its head.
Alice Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse, only as it’s asleep, I suppose it doesn’t mind.
Narrator
The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it. (Alice tries to get on the box.)
Hare and Hatter No room! No room!
Alice
There’s plenty of room.
Narrator Said Alice indignantly, and she sat down on the corner of the table. (Pushes her way in)
Hare
Have some wine.
Alice I don’t see any.
Hare
That’s because there isn’t any! (Laughs)
Alice (Offended) Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer.
Hare
It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited.
Alice I didn’t know it was your table; it’s laid for a great many more than three.
Hatter
(Sinister) Your hair needs cutting.
29
Alice
You should learn not to make personal remarks: It’s very rude.
Narrator The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all he said was -‐ -‐ (looking as if he
would explode.)
Hatter Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Alice
(Becoming excited) Come, we shall have some fun now! I’m glad they’ve begun asking riddles -‐ -‐ I believe I can guess that.
Hare Do you mean that you think you can find the answer to it?
Alice
Exactly so.
Hare Then you should say what you mean.
Alice
I do, at least -‐ -‐ at least I mean what I say -‐ -‐ that’s the say thing, you know.
Hatter Not the same thing a bit! Why, you might just as well say that “I see what I eat” is the same
thing as “I eat what I see!”
Hare You might just as well say that “I like what I get” is the same thing as “I get what I like!”
Mouse
(Waking) You might just as well say that “I breathe when I sleep” is the same thing as “I sleep when I breathe!” (Falls back asleep)
Hatter
It is the same thing with you.
Narrator And here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a minute, while Alice
thought over all she could remember about ravens and writing desks, which wasn’t very much.
Hatter Have you guessed the riddle yet?
Alice
No, I give it up. What’s the answer?
30
Hatter
I haven’t the slightest idea. (Leaves box, crosses R.)
Hare Nor I. (Follows)
Alice
(Chasing after them) I think you might do something better with your time than wasting it in asking riddles that have no answers.
Hatter
If you know Time as well as I do, you wouldn’t talk about wasting it. It’s him. (Player steps forward to represent a clock.)
Alice
I don’t know what you mean.
Hatter Of course you don’t! I dare say you never even spoke to Time! (Time shakes head no.)
Alice
Perhaps not, but I know I have to beat time when I learn music.
Hatter (Grabs Time to protect him.) Ah! That accounts for it. He won’t stand beating.
Alice
I’m afraid you misunderstood me. When I say beat time, I mean like this. (Sings Here We Go ‘Round the Mulberry Bush)
Time
Now she beats mulberry bushes. (Time begins to tick uncontrollably.)
Hatter (Calming.) Now, if you only keep on good terms with him, he’d do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o’ clock (Time’s arms go to nine o’ clock position.) in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you’d only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! (Arms spin to half-past one.) Half-‐past one,
lunch time!
Hare I only wish it was.
Alice
That would be grand, certainly, but then – I shouldn’t be hungry for it, you know.
Hatter Not at first, perhaps, but you could keep it to half-‐past one as long as you liked.
31
Alice Is that the way you manage?
Hatter Not I. (Time reacts away from Hatter and returns to another box.) We quarreled last March – just before he went mad, you know – it was at the great concert given by the Queen of
Hearts, and I had to sing. (Sings) Twinkle, twinkle, little bat! How I wonder where you’re at!
You know the song perhaps?
Alice I’ve heard something like it.
Hatter
It goes on, you know, in this way. Up above the world you fly, Like a tea-tray in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle –
Mouse
(Shouting and falling off box.) Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle –
Hare Suppose we change the subject.
Mouse
Twinkle! (Still asleep)
Hare I’m getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells us a story.
Alice
I’m afraid I don’t know one.
Hare and Hatter Then the Dormouse shall! Wake up Dormouse!
Mouse
(Trying to wake up) I wasn’t asleep; I heard every word you fellows were saying.
Hare (Moves to Dormouse) Tell us a story!
Alice
(Follows) Yes, please do!
Hatter (Follows) And be quick about it, or you’ll be asleep again before it’s done.
32
Mouse (Crosses S.L.) Once upon a time there were three little sisters, and their names were Elsie,
Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well –
Alice What did they live on?
Mouse
They lived on treacle.
Alice What’s treacle?
Hare and Hatter
Molasses!
Alice (Argumentatively) Thank you. They couldn’t have done that, you know. They’d have been
quite ill. One has to eat meat and vegetables and –
Mouse So they were very ill.
Narrator
Alice tried to fancy all this, but it puzzled her little brain too much.
Alice (Protesting) But why did they live at the bottom of a well?
Hare
Take some more tea?
Alice I’ve had nothing yet, so I can’t take more.
Hatter
(Shouting) You mean you can’t take less; it’s very easy to take more than nothing.
Alice (Shouting back) Nobody asked your opinion.
Hatter
(Topping her) Who’s making personal remarks now?
Alice Why did they live at the bottom of the well?
Mouse
It was a treacle-‐well.
33
Alice There’s no such thing!
Hare and Hatter Hush! Sh! (Argument stops.)
Mouse
(Sternly) If you can’t be civil, you’d better finish the story yourself.
Alice (Gently) No, please go on! I won’t interrupt you again. I dare say there may be one.
Hare
You sure? (Alice nods head.)
Hatter You sure, sure? (Alice nods again.)
Hare and Hatter
Okay.
Mouse And so these three little sisters – they were learning how to draw, you know –
Alice
(Jumping in) What did they draw?
Mouse (Screams) Treacle!
Hatter
I want a clean cup; let’s readjust. (They readjust, not letting Alice get to the center box.)
Alice I’m very confused. Really, now, you invited me to sit at your table.
Hatter
We didn’t invite you.
Alice I don’t think –
Hatter
Then you shouldn’t talk.
Narrator This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear; she got up in great disgust, and
walked off. (Crosses S.R.)
34
Alice
At any rate, I’ll never go there again! It’s the stupidest tea party I ever was at in all my life!
Narrator Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into it. (Looks
behind S.R. box.)
Alice That’s very curious! But everything’s curious today. I think I may as well go in at once.
(Pantomimes opening door and goes behind box. We hear a knocking and muffled sound. One player moves up to the box.)
Player
What did you say? (To box) What? (We hear garbled speech.) Oh, you’re stuck. (Garbled speech again from box) Very well. (To audience) Alice says she’s stuck, so why don’t we take
a ten-‐minute break to let her find a way out. We’ll see you in ten minutes. All right?
(Black out.)