allegiate.rtf

8/12/2019 allegiate.rtf

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DEDICATION

To Jo,

who guides and steadies me

EPIG RAPH

Every uest ion that !an "e answered

must "e

answered or at #east engaged$

I# #ogi!a# thought %ro!esses must "e

!ha# #enged when they ari se$

&rong answers must "e !orre!ted$

Corre!t answers must "e a' ' i rmed$

()rom t h e Eru di t e ' a!t ion m an i ' est o

CONTENT*

Dedi!at ion

E%ig ra%h

Ch a%t er On e

Ch a%t er Two

Ch a%t er Th ree

Ch a%t er )ou r

Ch a%t er )ive

Ch a%t er *i+

Ch a%t er *even

Ch a%t er Eig h t

Ch a%t er Nin e


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Ch a%t er Ten

Ch a%t er E#even

Ch a%t er Twe#ve

Ch a%t er Th i rt een

Ch a%t er )ou rt een

Ch a%t er )i ' t een

Ch a%t er *i+ t een

Ch a%t er *even t een

Ch a%t er Eig h t een

Ch a%t er Nin et een

Ch a%t er Twen t y

Ch a%t er Twen t y On e

Ch a%t er Twen t y Two

Ch a%t er Twen t y Th ree

Ch a%t er Twen t y )ou r

Ch a%t er Twen t y )ive

Ch a%t er Twen t y *i+

Ch a%t er Twen t y *even

Ch a%t er Twen t y Eig h t

Ch a%t er Twen t y Nin e

Ch a%t er Th i rt y

Ch a%t er Th i rt y On e

Ch a%t er Th i rt y Two

Ch a%t er Th i rt y Th ree

Ch a%t er Th i rt y )ou r

Ch a%t er Th i rt y )ive


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Ch a%t er Th i rt y *i+

Ch a%t er Th i rt y *even

Ch a%t er Th i rt y Eig h t

Ch a%t er Th i rt y Nin e

Ch a%t er )ort y

Ch a%t er )ort y On e

Ch a%t er )ort y Two

Ch a%t er )ort y Th ree

Ch a%t er )ort y )ou r

Ch a%t er )ort y )ive

Ch a%t er )ort y *i+

Ch a%t er )ort y *even

Ch a%t er )ort y Eig h t

Ch a%t er )ort y Nin e

Ch a%t er )i ' t y

Ch a%t er )i ' t y On e

Ch a%t er )i ' t y Two

Ch a%t er )i ' t y Th ree

Ch a%t er )i ' t y )ou r

Ch a%t er )i ' t y )ive

Ch a%t er )i ' t y *i+

E%i #og u e

A!- n ow#edg m en t s

*%e!ia# Th an - s

A"ou t t h e Au t h or

.a!- Ad


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Prai se

.oo- s "y / eron i!a Rot h

Credi t s

Co%y rig h t

A"ou t t h e Pu "# i sh er

CHAPTER

ONE

T RI*

I P A CE I N ou r !e# # in Eru di t e

h eadu art ers, h er words e!h oin g in m y

m in d0 1y name wi # # "e Edi th Prior , and

there i s mu!h I am ha%%y to 'orget $

2*o y ou 3ve never seen h er "e' ore4

Not even in %i!t u res45 Ch ri st in a say s,

h er wou n ded #eg %ro%%ed u % on a

%i # #ow$ *h e was sh ot du rin g ou r

des%erat e at t em %t t o revea# t h e Edi t h

Prior video t o ou r !i t y $ At t h e t im e we

h ad n o idea wh at i t wou #d say , or t h at i t

wou #d sh at t er t h e ' ou n dat ion we st an d

on , t h e ' a!t ion s, ou r iden t i t ies$ 2I s sh e a

g ran dm ot h er or an au n t or som et h in g 45

2I t o#d y ou , n o,5 I say , t u rn in g wh en I

rea!h t h e wa# # $ 2Prior i s(was(m y

' at h er 3 s n am e, so i t wou #d h ave t o "e on

h i s side o' t h e ' am i #y $ .u t Edi t h i s an


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A"n eg at ion n am e, an d m y ' at h er 3 s

re#at ives m u st h ave "een Eru di t e, so

$ $ $5

2*o sh e m u st "e o#der ,5 Cara say s,

#ean in g h er h ead ag ain st t h e wa# # $ )rom

t h i s an g #e sh e #oo- s 6u st # i- e h er "rot h er ,

& i # # , m y ' rien d, t h e on e I sh ot $ Th en sh e

st raig h t en s, an d t h e g h ost o' h im i s g on e$

2A ' ew g en erat ion s "a!- $ An an !est or$5

2An !est or $5 Th e word ' ee# s o#d

in side m e, # i- e !ru m "# in g "ri!- $ I t ou !h

on e wa# # o' t h e !e# # as I t u rn arou n d$ Th e

%an e# i s !o#d an d wh i t e$

1y an !est or , an d t h i s i s t h e

in h eri t an !e sh e %assed t o m e0 ' reedom

' rom t h e ' a!t ion s, an d t h e - n ow#edg e t h at

m y Diverg en t iden t i t y i s m ore im %ort an t

t h an I !ou #d h ave - n own $ 1y e+ i st en !e

i s a sig n a# t h at we n eed t o #eave t h i s !i t y

an d o' ' er ou r h e#% t o wh oever i s ou t side

i t $

2I wan t t o - n ow,5 Cara say s, ru n n in g

h er h an d over h er ' a!e$ 2I n eed t o - n ow

h ow #on g we3ve "een h ere$ & ou #d y ou

st o% %a!in g ' or one minute45

I st o% in t h e m idd#e o' t h e !e# # an d


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rai se m y ey e"rows at h er$

2*orry ,5 sh e m u m "#es$

2I t 3 s o- ay ,5 Ch ri st in a say s$ 2& e3ve

"een in h ere way t oo #on g $5

I t 3 s "een day s sin !e Eve#y n m ast ered

t h e !h aos in t h e #o""y o' Eru di t e

h eadu art ers wi t h a ' ew sh ort !om m an ds

an d h ad a# # t h e %ri son ers h u st #ed away t o

!e# # s on t h e t h i rd ' #oor $ A ' a!t ion #ess

wom an !am e t o do!t or ou r wou n ds an d

di st ri"u t e %ain - i # #ers, an d we3ve eat en

an d sh owered severa# t im es, "u t n o on e

h as t o#d u s wh at 3 s g oin g on ou t side$ No

m at t er h ow ' or!e' u # #y I 3ve as- ed t h em $

2I t h ou g h t T o"ias wou #d !om e "y

n ow,5 I say , dro%%in g t o t h e edg e o' m y

!ot $ 2&h ere i s h e45

21ay "e h e3 s st i # # an g ry t h at y ou # ied

t o h im an d wen t "eh in d h i s "a!- t o wor-

wi t h h i s ' at h er,5 Cara say s$

I g #are at h er$

2)ou r wou #dn 3t "e t h at %et t y ,5

Ch ri st in a say s, ei t h er t o !h ast i se Cara or

t o reassu re m e, I 3m n ot su re$

2*om et h in g 3 s %ro"a"#y g oin g on t h at 3 s

- ee%in g h im away $ He t o#d y ou t o t ru st


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h im $5

I n t h e !h aos, wh en every on e was

sh ou t in g an d t h e ' a!t ion #ess were t ry in g

t o %u sh u s t oward t h e st ai r!ase, I !u r#ed

m y ' in g ers in t h e h em o' h i s sh i rt so I

wou #dn 3t #ose h im $ He t oo- m y wri st s in

h i s h an ds an d %u sh ed m e away , an d

t h ose were t h e words h e said$ T rust me$

Go where they te# # you$

2I 3m t ry in g ,5 I say , an d i t 3 s t ru e$ I 3m

t ry in g t o t ru st h im $ .u t every %art o' m e,

every ' i"er an d every n erve, i s st rain in g

t oward ' reedom , n ot 6u st ' rom t h i s !e# #

"u t ' rom t h e %ri son o' t h e !i t y "ey on d i t $

I n eed t o see wh at 3 s ou t side t h e

' en !e$

CHAPTER

T&O

T O.IA*

I CA N3 T & A 78 t h ese h a# #way s wi t h ou t

rem em "erin g t h e day s I s%en t as a

%ri son er h ere, "are' oot , %ain %u # sin g

in side m e every t im e I m oved$ An d wi t h

t h at m em ory i s an ot h er on e, on e o'

wai t in g ' or .eat ri!e Prior t o g o t o h er

deat h , o' m y ' i st s ag ain st t h e door , o' h er


8/675

#eg s s#u n g a!ross Pet er 3 s arm s wh en h e

t o#d m e sh e was 6u st dru g g ed$

I h at e t h i s %#a!e$

I t i sn 3t as !#ean as i t was wh en i t

was t h e Eru di t e !om %ou n d9 n ow i t i s

ravag ed "y war , "u # #et h o#es in t h e wa# # s

an d t h e "ro- en g #ass o' sh at t ered

# ig h t "u #"s every wh ere$ I wa#- over di rt y

' oot %rin t s an d "en eat h ' # i!- erin g # ig h t s t o

h er !e# # an d I am adm i t t ed wi t h ou t

u est ion , "e!au se I "ear t h e ' a!t ion #ess

sy m "o#(an em %t y !i r!#e(on a "#a!-

"an d arou n d m y arm an d Eve#y n 3 s

' eat u res on m y ' a!e$ T o"ias Eat on was a

sh am e' u # n am e, an d n ow i t i s a %ower' u #

on e$

T ri s !rou !h es on t h e g rou n d in side,

sh ou #der t o sh ou #der wi t h Ch ri st in a an d

diag on a# ' rom Cara$ 1y T ri s sh ou #d

#oo- %a#e an d sm a# #(sh e i s %a#e an d

sm a# # , a' t er a# #("u t in st ead t h e room i s

' u # # o' h er$

Her rou n d ey es ' in d m in e an d sh e i s

on h er ' eet , h er arm s wou n d t ig h t #y

arou n d m y wai st an d h er ' a!e ag ain st m y

!h est $


9/675

I su ee: e h er sh ou #der wi t h on e h an d

an d ru n m y ot h er h an d over h er h ai r , st i # #

su r%ri sed wh en h er h ai r st o%s a"ove h er

n e!- in st ead o' "e#ow i t $ I was h a%%y

wh en sh e !u t i t , "e!au se i t was h ai r ' or a

warrior an d n ot a g i r# , an d I - n ew t h at

was wh at sh e wou #d n eed$

2How3d y ou g et in 45 sh e say s in h er

#ow, !#ear voi!e$

2I 3m T o"ias Eat on ,5 I say , an d sh e

#au g h s$

2Rig h t $ I - ee% ' org et t in g $5 *h e %u # # s

away 6u st ' ar en ou g h t o #oo- at m e$

Th ere i s a waverin g e+ %ression in h er

ey es, # i- e sh e i s a h ea% o' #eaves a"ou t

t o "e s!at t ered "y t h e win d$ 2&h at 3 s

h a%%en in g 4 &h at t oo- y ou so #on g 45

*h e sou n ds des%erat e, %#eadin g $ )or

a# # t h e h orri"#e m em ories t h i s %#a!e

!arries ' or m e, i t !arries m ore ' or h er ,

t h e wa#- t o h er e+ e!u t ion , h er "rot h er 3 s

"et ray a# , t h e ' ear seru m $ I h ave t o g et h er

ou t $

Cara #oo- s u % wi t h in t erest $ I ' ee#

u n !om ' ort a"#e, # i- e I h ave sh i ' t ed in m y

s- in an d i t doesn 3t u i t e ' i t an y m ore$ I


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h at e h avin g an au dien !e$

2Eve#y n h as t h e !i t y u n der

#o!- down ,5 I say $ 2No on e g oes a st e% in

an y di re!t ion wi t h ou t h er say so$ A ' ew

day s ag o sh e g ave a s%ee!h a"ou t u n i t in g

ag ain st ou r o%%ressors, t h e %eo%#e

ou t side$5

2O%%ressors45 Ch ri st in a say s$ *h e

t a- es a via# ' rom h er %o!- et an d du m %s

t h e !on t en t s in t o h er m ou t h (%ain - i # #ers

' or t h e "u # #et wou n d in h er #eg , I assu m e$

I s# ide m y h an ds in t o m y %o!- et s$

2Eve#y n (an d a #ot o' %eo%#e, a!t u a# #y

(t h in - we sh ou #dn 3t #eave t h e !i t y 6u st

t o h e#% a "u n !h o' %eo%#e wh o sh oved u s

in h ere so t h ey !ou #d u se u s #at er $ Th ey

wan t t o t ry t o h ea# t h e !i t y an d so#ve ou r

own %ro"#em s in st ead o' #eavin g t o

so#ve ot h er %eo%#e3 s$ I 3m %ara%h rasin g ,

o' !ou rse,5 I say $ 2I su s%e!t t h at o%in ion

i s very !on ven ien t ' or m y m ot h er ,

"e!au se as #on g as we3re a# # !on t ain ed,

sh e3 s in !h arg e$ Th e se!on d we #eave,

sh e #oses h er h o#d$5

2Great $5 T ri s ro# # s h er ey es$ 2O'

!ou rse sh e wou #d !h oose t h e m ost


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se# ' i sh rou t e %ossi"#e$5

2*h e h as a %oin t $5 Ch ri st in a wra%s

h er ' in g ers arou n d t h e via# $ 2I 3m n ot

say in g I don 3t wan t t o #eave t h e !i t y an d

see wh at 3 s ou t t h ere, "u t we3ve g ot

en ou g h g oin g on h ere$ How are we

su %%osed t o h e#% a "u n !h o' %eo%#e

we3ve n ever m et 45

T ri s !on siders t h i s, !h ewin g on t h e

in side o' h er !h ee- $ 2I don 3t - n ow,5 sh e

adm i t s$

1y wat !h reads t h ree o3!#o!- $ I 3ve

"een h ere t oo #on g (#on g en ou g h t o

m a- e Eve#y n su s%i!iou s$ I t o#d h er I

!am e t o "rea- t h in g s o' ' wi t h T ri s, t h at i t

wou #dn 3t t a- e m u !h t im e$ I 3m n ot su re

sh e "e# ieved m e$

I say , 27 i st en , I m ost #y !am e t o warn

y ou (t h ey 3re st art in g t h e t ria# s ' or a# # t h e

%ri son ers$ Th ey 3re g oin g t o %u t y ou a# #

u n der t ru t h seru m , an d i ' i t wor- s, y ou 3# #

"e !on vi!t ed as t rai t ors$ I t h in - we

wou #d a# # # i- e t o avoid t h at $5

2Con vi!t ed as t rai tors45 T ri s

s!ow# s$ 2How i s revea# in g t h e t ru t h t o

ou r en t i re !i t y an a!t o' "et ray a#45


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2I t was an a!t o' de' ian !e ag ain st

y ou r #eaders,5 I say $ 2Eve#y n an d h er

' o# #owers don 3t wan t t o #eave t h e !i t y $

Th ey won 3t t h an - y ou ' or sh owin g t h at

video$5

2Th ey 3re 6u st # i- e Jean in e; 5 *h e

m a- es a ' i t ' u # g est u re, # i- e sh e wan t s t o

h i t som et h in g "u t t h ere3 s n ot h in g

avai #a"#e$ 2Ready t o do an y t h in g t o st i ' #e

t h e t ru t h , an d ' or wh at 4 T o "e - in g s o'

t h ei r t in y # i t t #e wor#d4 I t 3s ridi!u #ou s$5

I don 3t wan t t o say so, "u t %art o' m e

ag rees wi t h m y m ot h er $ I don 3t owe t h e

%eo%#e ou t side t h i s !i t y an y t h in g ,

wh et h er I am Diverg en t or n ot $ I 3m n ot

su re I wan t t o o' ' er m y se# ' t o t h em t o

so#ve h u m an i t y 3 s %ro"#em s, wh at ever

t h at m ean s$

.u t I do wan t t o #eave, in t h e

des%erat e way t h at an an im a# wan t s t o

es!a%e a t ra%$ & i #d an d ra"id$ Ready t o

g n aw t h rou g h "on e$

2.e t h at as i t m ay ,5 I say !are' u # #y ,

2i ' t h e t ru t h seru m wor- s on y ou , y ou

wi # # "e !on vi!t ed$5

2I' i t wor- s45 say s Cara, n arrowin g


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h er ey es$

2Diverg en t ,5 T ri s say s t o h er ,

%oin t in g at h er own h ead$ 2Rem em "er45

2Th at 3 s ' as!in at in g $5 Cara t u !- s a

st ray h ai r "a!- in t o t h e - n ot 6u st a"ove

h er n e!- $ 2.u t at y %i!a# $ I n m y

e+ %erien !e, m ost Diverg en t !an 3t resi st

t h e t ru t h seru m $ I won der wh y y ou !an $5

2< ou an d every ot h er Eru di t e wh o

ever st u !- a n eed#e in m e,5 Tri s sn a%s$

2Can we ' o!u s, %#ease4 I wou #d # i- e

t o avoid h avin g t o "rea- y ou ou t o'

%ri son ,5 I say $ *u dden #y des%erat e ' or

!om ' ort , I rea!h ' or T ri s3 s h an d, an d sh e

"rin g s h er ' in g ers u % t o m eet m in e$ & e

are n ot %eo%#e wh o t ou !h ea!h ot h er

!are#ess#y 9 every %oin t o' !on t a!t

"etween u s ' ee# s im %ort an t , a ru sh o'

en erg y an d re# ie' $

2A# # rig h t , a# # rig h t ,5 sh e say s, g en t #y

n ow$ 2&h at did y ou h ave in m in d45

2I 3# # g et Eve#y n t o #et y ou t est i ' y

' i rst , o' t h e t h ree o' y ou ,5 I say $ 2A# # y ou

h ave t o do i s !om e u % wi t h a # ie t h at wi # #

e+ on erat e "ot h Ch ri st in a an d Cara, an d

t h en t e# # i t u n der t ru t h seru m $5


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2&h at - in d o' # ie wou #d do t h at 45

2I t h ou g h t I wou #d #eave t h at t o y ou ,5

I say $ 2*in !e y ou 3re t h e "et t er # iar$5

I - n ow as I 3m say in g t h e words t h at

t h ey h i t a sore s%ot in "ot h o' u s$ *h e

# ied t o m e so m an y t im es$ *h e %rom i sed

m e sh e wou #dn 3t g o t o h er deat h in t h e

Eru di t e !om %ou n d wh en Jean in e

dem an ded t h e sa!ri ' i!e o' a Diverg en t ,

an d t h en sh e did i t an y way $ *h e t o#d m e

sh e wou #d st ay h om e du rin g t h e Eru di t e

at t a!- , an d t h en I ' ou n d h er in Eru di t e

h eadu art ers, wor- in g wi t h m y ' at h er $ I

u n derst an d wh y sh e did a# # t h ose t h in g s,

"u t t h at doesn 3t m ean we aren 3t st i # #

"ro- en $

2< eah $5 *h e #oo- s at h er sh oes$

2O- ay , I 3# # t h in - o' som et h in g $5

I set m y h an d on h er arm $ 2I 3# # t a#- t o

Eve#y n a"ou t y ou r t ria# $ I 3# # t ry t o m a- e

i t soon $5

2Th an - y ou $5

I ' ee# t h e u rg e, ' am i # iar n ow, t o

wren !h m y se# ' ' rom m y "ody an d s%ea-

di re!t #y in t o h er m in d$ I t i s t h e sam e

u rg e, I rea# i: e, t h at m a- es m e wan t t o


15/675

- i ss h er every t im e I see h er , "e!au se

even a s# iver o' di st an !e "etween u s i s

in ' u riat in g $ Ou r ' in g ers, #oose#y woven a

m om en t ag o, n ow !#u t !h t og et h er , h er

%a#m t a!- y wi t h m oi st u re, m in e rou g h in

%#a!es wh ere I h ave g ra""ed t oo m an y

h an d#es on t oo m an y m ovin g t rain s$ Now

sh e #oo- s %a#e an d sm a# # , "u t h er ey es

m a- e m e t h in - o' wideo%en s- ies t h at I

h ave n ever a!t u a# #y seen , on #y dream ed

o' $

2I ' y ou 3re g oin g t o - i ss, do m e a

' avor an d t e# # m e so I !an #oo- away ,5

say s Ch ri st in a$

2&e are,5 Tri s say s$ An d we do$

I t ou !h h er !h ee- t o s#ow t h e - i ss

down , h o#din g h er m ou t h on m in e so I

!an ' ee# every %#a!e wh ere ou r # i%s

t ou !h an d every %#a!e wh ere t h ey %u # #

away $ I savor t h e ai r we sh are in t h e

se!on d a' t erward an d t h e s# i% o' h er

n ose a!ross m in e$ I t h in - o' som et h in g t o

say , "u t i t i s t oo in t im at e, so I swa# #ow

i t $ A m om en t #at er I de!ide I don 3t !are$

2I wi sh we were a#on e,5 I say as I

"a!- ou t o' t h e !e# # $


16/675

*h e sm i #es$ 2I a#m ost a#way s wi sh

t h at $5

As I sh u t t h e door , I see Ch ri st in a

%ret en din g t o vom i t , an d Cara #au g h in g ,

an d Tri s3s h an ds h an g in g at h er sides$

CHAPTER

THREE

T RI*

2 I T HI N8 < O=3 RE a# # idiot s$5 1y h an ds

are !u r#ed in m y #a% # i- e a s#ee%in g

!h i #d3 s$ 1y "ody i s h eavy wi t h t ru t h

seru m $ *weat !o# #e!t s on m y ey e# ids$

2< ou sh ou #d "e t h an - in g m e, n ot

u est ion in g m e$5

2& e sh ou #d t h an - y ou ' or de' y in g t h e

in st ru !t ion s o' y ou r ' a!t ion #eaders4

Th an - y ou ' or t ry in g t o %reven t on e o'

y ou r ' a!t ion #eaders ' rom - i # # in g Jean in e

1at t h ews4 < ou "eh aved # i- e a t rai t or $5

Eve#y n Joh n son s%i t s t h e word # i- e a

sn a- e$ & e are in t h e !on ' eren !e room in

Eru di t e h eadu art ers, wh ere t h e t ria# s

h ave "een t a- in g %#a!e$ I h ave n ow "een

a %ri son er ' or at #east a wee- $

I see T o"ias, h a# ' h idden in t h e

sh adows "eh in d h i s m ot h er $ He h as - e%t


17/675

h i s ey es avert ed sin !e I sat in t h e !h ai r

an d t h ey !u t t h e st ri% o' %#ast i! "in din g

m y wri st s t og et h er $ )or 6u st ' or a

m om en t , h i s ey es t ou !h m in e, an d I - n ow

i t 3s t im e t o st art #y in g $

I t 3 s easier n ow t h at I - n ow I !an do

i t $ As easy as %u sh in g t h e weig h t o' t h e

t ru t h seru m aside in m y m in d$

2I am n ot a t rai t or ,5 I say $ 2At t h e

t im e I "e# ieved t h at 1ar!u s was wor- in g

u n der Dau n t #ess' a!t ion #ess orders$

*in !e I !ou #dn 3t 6oin t h e ' ig h t as a

so#dier , I was h a%%y t o h e#% wi t h

som et h in g e# se$5

2&h y !ou #dn 3t y ou "e a so#dier45

)#u ores!en t # ig h t g #ows "eh in d Eve#y n 3 s

h ai r $ I !an 3t see h er ' a!e, an d I !an 3t

' o!u s on an y t h in g ' or m ore t h an a se!on d

"e' ore t h e t ru t h seru m t h reat en s t o %u # #

m e down ag ain $

2.e!au se$5 I "i t e m y # i%, as i ' t ry in g

t o st o% t h e words ' rom ru sh in g ou t $ I

don 3t - n ow wh en I "e!am e so g ood at

a!t in g , "u t I g u ess i t 3 s n ot t h at di ' ' eren t

' rom #y in g , wh i!h I h ave a#way s h ad a

t a#en t ' or $ 2.e!au se I !ou #dn 3t h o#d a


18/675

g u n , o- ay 4 Not a' t er sh oot in g $ $ $ h im $

1y ' rien d & i # # $ I !ou #dn 3t h o#d a g u n

wi t h ou t %an i!- in g $5

Eve#y n 3 s ey es %in !h t ig h t er $ I su s%e!t

t h at even in t h e so' t est %art s o' h er , t h ere

i s n o sy m %at h y ' or m e$

2*o 1ar!u s t o#d y ou h e was wor- in g

u n der m y orders,5 sh e say s, 2an d even

- n owin g wh at y ou do a"ou t h i s rat h er

t en se re#at ion sh i% wi t h "ot h t h e

Dau n t #ess an d t h e ' a!t ion #ess, y ou

"e# ieved h im 45

2


19/675

t h e wor#d we - n ow, n ow$

2&h y didn 3t y ou t e# # an y on e a"ou t

t h i s45 sh e say s$

2I didn 3t wan t t o h ave t o adm i t t o an y

wea- n ess,5 I say $ 2An d I didn 3t wan t

)ou r t o - n ow I was wor- in g wi t h h i s

' at h er $ I - n ew h e wou #dn 3t # i- e i t $5 I ' ee#

n ew words ri sin g in m y t h roat , %rom %t ed

"y t h e t ru t h seru m $ 2I "rou g h t y ou t h e

t ru t h a"ou t ou r !i t y an d t h e reason we

are in i t $ I ' y ou aren 3t t h an - in g m e ' or i t ,

y ou sh ou #d at #east do som et h in g a"ou t i t

in st ead o' si t t in g h ere on t h i s m ess y ou

m ade, %ret en din g i t 3s a t h ron e; 5

Eve#y n 3 s m o!- in g sm i #e twi st s # i- e

sh e h as 6u st t ast ed som et h in g u n %#easan t $

*h e #ean s in !#ose t o m y ' a!e, an d I see

' or t h e ' i rst t im e h ow o#d sh e i s9 I see t h e

# in es t h at ' ram e h er ey es an d m ou t h , an d

t h e u n h ea# t h y %a# #or sh e wears ' rom

y ears o' eat in g ' ar t oo # i t t #e$ *t i # # , sh e i s

h an dsom e # i- e h er son $ Nearst arvat ion

!ou #d n ot t a- e t h at $

2I am doin g som et h in g a"ou t i t $ I am

m a- in g a n ew wor#d,5 sh e say s, an d h er

voi!e g et s even u iet er , so t h at I !an


20/675

"are#y h ear h er $ 2I was A"n eg at ion $ I

h ave - n own t h e t ru t h ' ar #on g er t h an y ou

h ave, .eat ri!e Prior $ I don 3t - n ow h ow

y ou 3re g et t in g away wi t h t h i s, "u t I

%rom i se y ou , y ou wi # # n ot h ave a %#a!e

in m y n ew wor#d, es%e!ia# #y n ot wi t h m y

son $5

I sm i #e a # i t t #e$ I sh ou #dn 3t , "u t i t 3 s

h arder t o su %%ress g est u res an d

e+ %ression s t h an words, wi t h t h i s weig h t

in m y vein s$ *h e "e# ieves t h at T o"ias

"e#on g s t o h er n ow$ *h e doesn 3t - n ow

t h e t ru t h , t h at h e "e#on g s t o h im se# ' $

Eve#y n st raig h t en s, ' o#din g h er arm s$

2Th e t ru t h seru m h as revea#ed t h at

wh i #e y ou m ay "e a ' oo# , y ou are n o

t rai t or $ Th i s in t errog at ion i s over $ < ou

m ay #eave$5

2&h at a"ou t m y ' rien ds45 I say

s#u g g i sh #y $ 2Ch ri st in a, Cara$ Th ey didn 3t

do an y t h in g wron g ei t h er$5

2& e wi # # dea# wi t h t h em soon ,5

Eve#y n say s$

I st an d, t h ou g h I 3m wea- an d di: : y

' rom t h e seru m $ Th e room i s %a!- ed wi t h

%eo%#e, sh ou #der t o sh ou #der , an d I !an 3t


21/675

' in d t h e e+ i t ' or a ' ew #on g se!on ds, u n t i #

som eon e t a- es m y arm , a "oy wi t h warm

"rown s- in an d a wide sm i #e(= riah $

He g u ides m e t o t h e door $ Every on e

st art s t a#- in g $

= riah #eads m e down t h e h a# #way t o t h e

e#evat or "an - $ Th e e#evat or doors s%rin g

o%en wh en h e t ou !h es t h e "u t t on , an d I

' o# #ow h im in , st i # # n ot st eady on m y ' eet $

&h en t h e doors !#ose, I say , 2< ou don 3t

t h in - t h e %art a"ou t t h e m ess an d t h e

t h ron e was t oo m u !h 45

2No$ *h e e+ %e!t s y ou t o "e

h ot h eaded$ *h e m ig h t h ave "een

su s%i!iou s i ' y ou h adn 3t "een $5

I ' ee# # i- e every t h in g in side m e i s

vi"rat in g wi t h en erg y , in an t i!i%at ion o'

wh at i s t o !om e$ I am ' ree$ & e3re g oin g

t o ' in d a way ou t o' t h e !i t y $ No m ore

wai t in g , %a!in g a !e# # , dem an din g

an swers t h at I won 3t g et ' rom t h e g u ards$

Th e g u ards did t e# # m e a ' ew t h in g s

a"ou t t h e n ew ' a!t ion #ess order t h i s

m orn in g $ )orm er ' a!t ion m em "ers are

reu i red t o m ove !#oser t o Eru di t e

h eadu art ers an d m i+ , n o m ore t h an ' ou r


22/675

m em "ers o' a %art i!u #ar ' a!t ion in ea!h

dwe# # in g $ & e h ave t o m i+ ou r !#ot h in g ,

t oo$ I was g iven a y e# #ow Am i t y sh i rt

an d "#a!- Can dor %an t s ear# ier as a

resu # t o' t h at %art i!u #ar edi!t $

2A# # rig h t , we3re t h i s way $ $ $ $5

= riah #eads m e ou t o' t h e e#evat or $ Th i s

' #oor o' Eru di t e h eadu art ers i s a# #

g #ass, even t h e wa# # s$ *u n # ig h t re' ra!t s

t h rou g h i t an d !ast s s# ivers o' rain "ows

a!ross t h e ' #oor $ I sh ie#d m y ey es wi t h

on e h an d an d ' o# #ow = riah t o a #on g ,

n arrow room wi t h "eds on ei t h er side$

Ne+ t t o ea!h "ed i s a g #ass !a"in et ' or

!#ot h es an d "oo- s, an d a sm a# # t a"#e$

2I t u sed t o "e t h e Eru di t e in i t iat e

dorm i t ory ,5 = riah say s$ 2I reserved "eds

' or Ch ri st in a an d Cara a# ready $5

*i t t in g on a "ed n ear t h e door are

t h ree g i r# s in red sh i rt s(Am i t y g i r# s, I

wou #d g u ess(an d on t h e #e' t side o' t h e

room , an o#der wom an # ies on on e o' t h e

"eds, h er s%e!t a!#es dan g # in g ' rom on e

ear(%ossi"#y on e o' t h e Eru di t e$ I - n ow

I sh ou #d t ry t o st o% %u t t in g %eo%#e in

' a!t ion s wh en I see t h em , "u t i t 3 s an o#d


23/675

h a"i t , h ard t o "rea- $

= riah ' a# # s on on e o' t h e "eds in t h e

"a!- !orn er $ I si t on t h e on e n e+ t t o h i s,

g #ad t o "e ' ree an d at rest , ' in a# #y $

2> e- e say s i t som et im es t a- es a # i t t #e

wh i #e ' or t h e ' a!t ion #ess t o %ro!ess

e+ on erat ion s, so t h ey sh ou #d "e ou t

#at er,5 = riah say s$

)or a m om en t I ' ee# re# ieved t h at

every on e I !are a"ou t wi # # "e ou t o'

%ri son "y t on ig h t $ .u t t h en I rem em "er

t h at Ca#e" i s st i # # t h ere, "e!au se h e was

a we# # - n own #a!- ey o' Jean in e

1at t h ews, an d t h e ' a!t ion #ess wi # # n ever

e+ on erat e h im $ .u t 6u st h ow ' ar t h ey wi # #

g o t o dest roy t h e m ar- Jean in e 1at t h ews

#e' t on t h i s !i t y , I don 3t - n ow$

I don3 t !ar e , I t h in - $ .u t even as I

t h in - i t , I - n ow i t 3 s a # ie$ He3 s st i # # m y

"rot h er$

2Good,5 I say $ 2Th an - s, = riah $5

He n ods, an d #ean s h i s h ead ag ain st

t h e wa# # t o %ro% i t u %$

2How are y ou 45 I say $ 2I m ean $ $ $

7 y n n $ $ $5

= riah h ad "een ' rien ds wi t h 7 y n n


24/675

an d 1ar#en e as #on g as I 3d - n own t h em ,

an d n ow "ot h o' t h em are dead$ I ' ee#

# i- e I m ig h t "e a"#e t o u n derst an d(a' t er

a# # , I 3ve #ost two ' rien ds t oo, A# t o t h e

%ressu res o' in i t iat ion an d & i # # t o t h e

at t a!- sim u #at ion an d m y own h ast y

a!t ion s$ .u t I don 3t wan t t o %ret en d t h at

ou r su ' ' erin g i s t h e sam e$ )or on e t h in g ,

= riah - n ew h i s ' rien ds "et t er t h an I did$

2I don 3t wan t t o t a#- a"ou t i t $5 = riah

sh a- es h i s h ead$ 2Or t h in - a"ou t i t $ I 6u st

wan t t o - ee% m ovin g $5

2O- ay $ I u n derst an d$ Ju st $ $ $ #et m e

- n ow i ' y ou n eed $ $ $5

2


25/675

T O.IA*

1< 1OT HER A 7 & A < * si t s on t h e edg es

o' t h in g s(!h ai rs, #edg es, t a"#es(as i '

sh e su s%e!t s sh e wi # # h ave t o ' #ee in an

in st an t $ Th i s t im e i t 3 s Jean in e3 s o#d des-

in Eru di t e h eadu art ers t h at sh e si t s on

t h e edg e o' , h er t oes "a#an !ed on t h e

' #oor an d t h e !#ou dy # ig h t o' t h e !i t y

g #owin g "eh in d h er $ *h e i s a wom an o'

m u s!#e twi st ed arou n d "on e$

2I t h in - we h ave t o t a#- a"ou t y ou r

#oy a# t y ,5 sh e say s, "u t sh e doesn 3t sou n d

# i- e sh e3 s a!!u sin g m e o' som et h in g , sh e

6u st sou n ds t i red$ )or a m om en t sh e

seem s so worn t h at I ' ee# # i- e I !an see

rig h t t h rou g h h er , "u t t h en sh e

st raig h t en s, an d t h e ' ee# in g i s g on e$

2= # t im at e#y , i t was y ou wh o h e#%ed

T ri s an d g ot t h at video re#eased,5 sh e

say s$ 2No on e e# se - n ows t h at , "u t I

- n ow i t $5

27 i st en $5 I #ean ' orward t o %ro% m y

e#"ows on m y - n ees$ 2I didn 3t - n ow

wh at was in t h at ' i #e$ I t ru st ed T ri s3 s

6u dg m en t m ore t h an m y own $ Th at 3 s a# #

t h at h a%%en ed$5


26/675

I t h ou g h t t e# # in g Eve#y n t h at I "ro- e

u % wi t h Tri s wou #d m a- e i t easier ' or m y

m ot h er t o t ru st m e, an d I was rig h t(sh e

h as "een warm er , m ore o%en , ever sin !e

I t o#d t h at # ie$

2An d n ow t h at y ou 3ve seen t h e

' oot ag e45 Eve#y n say s$ 2&h at do y ou

t h in - n ow4 Do y ou t h in - we sh ou #d

#eave t h e !i t y 45

I - n ow wh at sh e wan t s m e t o say (

t h at I see n o reason t o 6oin t h e ou t side

wor#d("u t I 3m n ot a g ood # iar , so

in st ead I se#e!t a %art o' t h e t ru t h $

2I 3m a' raid o' i t ,5 I say $ 2I 3m n ot

su re i t 3 s sm art t o #eave t h e !i t y - n owin g

t h e dan g ers t h at m ig h t "e ou t t h ere$5

*h e !on siders m e ' or a m om en t ,

"i t in g t h e in side o' h er !h ee- $ I #earn ed

t h at h a"i t ' rom h er(I u sed t o !h ew m y

s- in raw as I wai t ed ' or m y ' at h er t o

!om e h om e, u n su re wh i!h version o' h im

I wou #d en !ou n t er , t h e on e t h e

A"n eg at ion t ru st ed an d revered, or t h e

on e wh ose h an ds st ru !- m e$

I ru n m y t on g u e a#on g t h e "i t e s!ars

an d swa# #ow t h e m em ory # i- e i t 3s "i #e$


27/675

*h e s# ides o' ' t h e des- an d m oves t o

t h e win dow$ 2I 3ve "een re!eivin g

di st u r"in g re%ort s o' a re"e# org an i: at ion

am on g u s$5 *h e #oo- s u %, rai sin g an

ey e"row$ 2Peo%#e a#way s org an i: e in t o

g rou %s$ Th at 3 s a ' a!t o' ou r e+ i st en !e$ I

6u st didn 3t e+ %e!t i t t o h a%%en t h i s

u i!- #y $5

2&h at - in d o' org an i: at ion 45

2Th e - in d t h at wan t s t o #eave t h e

!i t y ,5 sh e say s$ 2Th ey re#eased som e

- in d o' m an i ' est o t h i s m orn in g $ Th ey !a# #

t h em se#ves t h e A# #eg ian t $5 &h en sh e

sees m y !on ' u sed #oo- , sh e adds,

2.e!au se t h ey 3re a# # ied wi t h t h e orig in a#

%u r%ose o' ou r !i t y , see45

2Th e orig in a# %u r%ose(y ou m ean ,

wh at was in t h e Edi t h Prior video4 Th at

we sh ou #d sen d %eo%#e ou t side wh en t h e

!i t y h as a #arg e Diverg en t %o%u #at ion 45

2Th at , y es$ .u t a# so # ivin g in

' a!t ion s$ Th e A# #eg ian t !#aim t h at we3re

m ean t t o "e in ' a!t ion s "e!au se we3ve

"een in t h em sin !e t h e "eg in n in g $5 *h e

sh a- es h er h ead$ 2*om e %eo%#e wi # #

a#way s ' ear !h an g e$ .u t we !an 3t


28/675

in du #g e t h em $5

& i t h t h e ' a!t ion s di sm an t #ed, %art o'

m e h as ' e# t # i- e a m an re#eased ' rom a

#on g im %ri son m en t $ I don 3t h ave t o

eva#u at e wh et h er every t h ou g h t I h ave or

!h oi!e I m a- e ' i t s in t o a n arrow

ideo#og y $ I don 3t wan t t h e ' a!t ion s "a!- $

.u t Eve#y n h asn 3t # i"erat ed u s # i- e

sh e t h in - s(sh e3 s 6u st m ade u s a# #

' a!t ion #ess$ *h e3 s a' raid o' wh at we

wou #d !h oose, i ' we were g iven a!t u a#

' reedom $ An d t h at m ean s t h at n o m at t er

wh at I "e# ieve a"ou t t h e ' a!t ion s, I 3m

re# ieved t h at som eon e, som ewh ere, i s

de' y in g h er$

I arran g e m y ' a!e in t o an em %t y

e+ %ression , "u t m y h eart i s "eat in g ' ast er

t h an "e' ore$ I h ave h ad t o "e !are' u # , t o

st ay in Eve#y n 3 s g ood g ra!es$ I t 3 s easy

' or m e t o # ie t o every on e e# se, "u t i t 3 s

m ore di ' ' i!u # t t o # ie t o h er , t h e on #y

%erson wh o - n ew a# # t h e se!ret s o' ou r

A"n eg at ion h ou se, t h e vio#en !e

!on t ain ed wi t h in i t s wa# # s$

2&h at are y ou g oin g t o do a"ou t

t h em 45 I say $


29/675

2I am g oin g t o g et t h em u n der

!on t ro# , wh at e# se45

Th e word 2!on t ro#5 m a- es m e si t u %

st raig h t , as rig id as t h e !h ai r "en eat h m e$

I n t h i s !i t y , 2!on t ro#5 m ean s n eed#es an d

seru m s an d seein g wi t h ou t seein g 9 i t

m ean s sim u #at ion s, # i- e t h e on e t h at

a#m ost m ade m e - i # # T ri s, or t h e on e t h at

m ade t h e Dau n t #ess in t o an arm y $

2&i t h sim u #at ion s45 I say s#ow#y $

*h e s!ow# s$ 2O' !ou rse n ot ; I am n ot

Jean in e 1at t h ews; 5

Her ' #are o' an g er set s m e o' ' $ I say ,

2Don 3t ' org et t h at I "are#y - n ow y ou ,

Eve#y n $5

*h e win !es at t h e rem in der $ 2Th en

#et m e t e# # y ou t h at I wi # # n ever resort t o

sim u #at ion s t o g et m y way $ Deat h wou #d

"e "et t er$5

I t 3 s %ossi"#e t h at deat h i s wh at sh e

wi # # u se(- i # # in g %eo%#e wou #d !ert ain #y

- ee% t h em u iet , st i ' #e t h ei r revo#u t ion

"e' ore i t "eg in s$ &h oever t h e A# #eg ian t

are, t h ey n eed t o "e warn ed, an d u i!- #y $

2I !an ' in d ou t wh o t h ey are,5 I say $

2I 3m su re t h at y ou !an $ &h y e# se


30/675

wou #d I h ave t o#d y ou a"ou t t h em 45

Th ere are %#en t y o' reason s sh e

wou #d t e# # m e$ T o t est m e$ T o !at !h m e$

T o ' eed m e ' a# se in ' orm at ion $ I - n ow

wh at m y m ot h er i s(sh e i s som eon e ' or

wh om t h e en d o' a t h in g 6u st i ' ies t h e

m ean s o' g et t in g t h ere, t h e sam e as m y

' at h er, an d t h e sam e, som et im es, as m e$

2I 3# # do i t , t h en $ I 3# # ' in d t h em $5

I ri se, an d h er ' in g ers, "ri t t #e as

"ran !h es, !#ose arou n d m y arm $ 2Th an -

y ou $5

I ' or!e m y se# ' t o #oo- at h er $ Her

ey es are !#ose a"ove h er n ose, wh i!h i s

h oo- ed at t h e en d, # i- e m y own $ Her s- in

i s a m idd# in g !o#or , dar- er t h an m in e$

)or a m om en t I see h er in A"n eg at ion

g ray , h er t h i!- h ai r "ou n d "a!- wi t h a

do: en %in s, si t t in g a!ross t h e din n er

t a"#e ' rom m e$ I see h er !rou !h ed in

' ron t o' m e, ' i+ in g m y m i sm at !h ed sh i rt

"u t t on s "e' ore I g o t o s!h oo# , an d

st an din g at t h e win dow, wat !h in g t h e

u n i ' orm st reet ' or m y ' at h er 3 s !ar , h er

h an ds !#as%ed(n o, !#en !h ed, h er t an

- n u !- #es wh i t e wi t h t en sion $ & e were


31/675

u n i t ed in ' ear t h en , an d n ow t h at sh e i sn 3t

a' raid an y m ore, %art o' m e wan t s t o see

wh at i t wou #d "e # i- e t o u n i t e wi t h h er in

st ren g t h $

I ' ee# an a!h e, # i- e I "et ray ed h er , t h e

wom an wh o u sed t o "e m y on #y a# #y , an d

I t u rn away "e' ore I !an t a- e i t a# # "a!-

an d a%o#og i: e$

I #eave Eru di t e h eadu art ers am id a

!rowd o' %eo%#e, m y ey es !on ' u sed,

h u n t in g ' or ' a!t ion !o#ors au t om at i!a# #y

wh en t h ere are n on e #e' t $ I am wearin g a

g ray sh i rt , "#u e 6ean s, "#a!- sh oes(n ew

!#ot h es, "u t "en eat h t h em , m y Dau n t #ess

t at t oos$ I t i s im %ossi"#e t o erase m y

!h oi!es$ Es%e!ia# #y t h ese$

CHAPTER

)I/E

T RI*

I *ET 1< wat !h a#arm ' or t en o3!#o!-

an d ' a# # as#ee% rig h t away , wi t h ou t even

sh i ' t in g t o a !om ' ort a"#e %osi t ion $ A ' ew

h ou rs #at er t h e "ee%s don 3t wa- e m e, "u t

t h e ' ru st rat ed sh ou t o' som eon e a!ross

t h e room does$ I t u rn o' ' t h e a#arm , ru n

m y ' in g ers t h rou g h m y h ai r , an d h a# '


32/675

wa#- , h a# ' 6og t o on e o' t h e em erg en !y

st ai r!ases$ Th e e+ i t at t h e "ot t om wi # # #et

m e ou t in t h e a# #ey , wh ere I %ro"a"#y

won 3t "e st o%%ed$

On !e I 3m ou t side, t h e !oo# ai r wa- es

m e u %$ I %u # # m y s#eeves down over m y

' in g ers t o - ee% t h em warm $ *u m m er i s

' in a# #y en din g $ Th ere are a ' ew %eo%#e

m i # # in g arou n d t h e en t ran !e t o Eru di t e

h eadu art ers, "u t n on e o' t h em n ot i!es

m e !ree%in g a!ross 1i!h ig an A ven u e$

Th ere are som e advan t ag es t o "ein g

sm a# # $

I see T o"ias st an din g in t h e m idd#e

o' t h e #awn , wearin g m i+ ed ' a!t ion

!o#ors(a g ray T sh i rt , "#u e 6ean s, an d a

"#a!- sweat sh i rt wi t h a h ood,

re%resen t in g a# # t h e ' a!t ion s m y a%t i t u de

t est t o#d m e I was u a# i ' ied ' or $ A

"a!- %a!- rest s ag ain st h i s ' eet $

2How did I do45 I say wh en I 3m

!#ose en ou g h ' or h im t o h ear m e$

2/ ery we# # ,5 h e say s$ 2Eve#y n st i # #

h at es y ou , "u t Ch ri st in a an d Cara h ave

"een re#eased wi t h ou t u est ion in g $5

2Good$5 I sm i #e$


33/675

He %in !h es t h e ' ron t o' m y sh i rt , rig h t

over m y st om a!h , an d t u g s m e t oward

h im , - i ssin g m e so' t #y $

2Com e on ,5 h e say s as h e %u # # s

away $ 2I h ave a %#an ' or t h i s even in g $5

2Oh , rea# #y 45

2< es, we# # , I rea# i: ed t h at we3ve

n ever "een on an a!t u a# dat e$5

2Ch aos an d dest ru !t ion do t en d t o

t a- e away a %erson 3 s dat in g

%ossi"i # i t ies$5

2I wou #d # i- e t o e+ %erien !e t h i s

?dat e3 %h en om en on $5 He wa#- s

"a!- ward, t oward t h e m am m ot h m et a#

st ru !t u re at t h e ot h er en d o' t h e #awn ,

an d I ' o# #ow h im $ 2.e' ore y ou , I on #y

wen t on g rou % dat es, an d t h ey were

u su a# #y a di sast er$ Th ey a#way s en ded u %

wi t h > e- e m a- in g ou t wi t h wh at ever g i r#

h e in t en ded t o m a- e ou t wi t h , an d m e

si t t in g in aw- ward si #en !e wi t h som e

g i r# t h at I h ad som eh ow o' ' en ded in

som e way ear#y on $5

2< ou 3re n ot very n i!e,5 I say ,

g rin n in g $

2


34/675

2Hey , I !ou #d "e n i!e i ' I t ried$5

2Hm m $5 He t a%s h i s !h in $ 2*ay

som et h in g n i!e, t h en $5

2


35/675


36/675

t h e Eru di t e - i t !h en s$ A%%aren t #y i t 3 s

de# i!iou s$5

He %ou rs som e in ea!h !u %, an d I

t a- e a si%$ &h at ever i t i s, i t 3 s sweet as

sy ru % an d #em on ' #avored an d m a- es m e

!rin g e a # i t t #e$ 1y se!on d si% i s "et t er$

2Th in g s t o t a#- a"ou t ,5 h e say s$

2Rig h t $5

2& e# # $ $ $5 T o"ias ' rown s in t o h i s

!u %$ 2O- ay , so I u n derst an d wh y y ou

wor- ed wi t h 1ar!u s, an d wh y y ou ' e# t

# i- e y ou !ou #dn 3t t e# # m e$ .u t $ $ $5

2.u t y ou 3re an g ry ,5 I say $ 2.e!au se I

# ied t o y ou $ On severa# o!!asion s$5

He n ods, n ot #oo- in g at m e$ 2I t 3 s n ot

even t h e 1ar!u s t h in g $ I t 3 s ' u rt h er "a!-

t h an t h at $ I don 3t - n ow i ' y ou !an

u n derst an d wh at i t was # i- e t o wa- e u %

a#on e, an d - n ow t h at y ou h ad g on e5(to

your death, i s wh at I su s%e!t h e wan t s t o

say , "u t h e !an 3t even say t h e words

(2t o Eru di t e h eadu art ers$5

2No, I %ro"a"#y !an 3t $5 I t a- e

an ot h er si%, t u rn in g t h e su g ary drin - over

in m y m ou t h "e' ore swa# #owin g $ 27 i st en ,

I $ $ $ I u sed t o t h in - a"ou t g ivin g m y # i ' e


37/675

' or t h in g s, "u t I didn 3t u n derst an d wh at

?g ivin g y ou r # i ' e3 rea# #y was u n t i # i t was

rig h t t h ere, a"ou t t o "e t a- en ' rom m e$5

I #oo- u % at h im , an d ' in a# #y , h e #oo- s

"a!- at m e$

2I - n ow n ow,5 I say $ 2I - n ow I wan t

t o # ive$ I - n ow I wan t t o "e h on est wi t h

y ou $ .u t $ $ $ "u t I !an 3t do t h at , I won 3t

do i t , i ' y ou won 3t t ru st m e, or i ' y ou t a#-

t o m e in t h at !on des!en din g way y ou

som et im es do(5

2Condes!ending45 h e say s$ 2< ou

were doin g ridi!u #ou s, ri s- y t h in g s(5

2< eah ,5 I say $ 2An d do y ou rea# #y

t h in - i t h e#%ed t o t a#- t o m e # i- e I was a

!h i #d wh o didn 3t - n ow an y "et t er45

2&h at e# se was I su %%osed t o do45

h e dem an ds$ 2


38/675

h an d#e(5

2I didn 3t wan t t o "u rden y ou m ore

t h an y ou a# ready were$5

2*o do y ou t h in - I 3m a st ron g %erson ,

or n ot 45 I s!ow# at h im $ 2.e!au se y ou

seem t o t h in - I !an t a- e i t wh en y ou 3re

s!o#din g m e, "u t y ou don 3t t h in - I !an

h an d#e an y t h in g e# se4 &h at does t h at

m ean 45

2O' !ou rse I t h in - y ou 3re a st ron g

%erson $5 He sh a- es h i s h ead$ 2I 6u st $ $ $

I 3m n ot u sed t o t e# # in g %eo%#e t h in g s$ I 3m

u sed t o h an d# in g t h in g s on m y own $5

2I 3m re# ia"#e,5 I say $ 2< ou !an t ru st

m e$ An d y ou !an #et m e "e t h e 6u dg e o'

wh at I !an h an d#e$5

2O- ay ,5 h e say s, n oddin g $ 2.u t n o

m ore # ies$ Not ever$5

2O- ay $5

I ' ee# st i ' ' an d su ee: ed, # i- e m y

"ody was 6u st ' or!ed in t o som et h in g t oo

sm a# # ' or i t $ .u t t h at 3 s n ot h ow I wan t t h e

!on versat ion t o en d, so I rea!h ' or h i s

h an d$

2I 3m sorry I # ied t o y ou ,5 I say $ 2I

rea# #y am $5


39/675

2& e# # ,5 h e say s$ 2I didn 3t m ean t o

m a- e y ou ' ee# # i- e I didn 3t res%e!t y ou $5

& e st ay t h ere ' or a wh i #e, ou r h an ds

!#as%ed$ I #ean "a!- ag ain st t h e m et a#

%#at e$ A"ove m e, t h e s- y i s "#an - an d

dar- , t h e m oon sh ie#ded "y !#ou ds$ I ' in d

a st ar ah ead o' u s, as t h e !#ou ds sh i ' t , "u t

i t seem s t o "e t h e on #y on e$ &h en I t i # t

m y h ead "a!- , t h ou g h , I !an see t h e # in e

o' "u i #din g s a#on g 1i!h ig an A ven u e,

# i- e a row o' sen t ries - ee%in g wat !h

over u s$

I am u iet u n t i # t h e st i ' ' , su ee: ed

' ee# in g #eaves m e$ I n i t s %#a!e I n ow ' ee#

re# ie' $ I t i sn 3t u su a# #y t h at easy ' or m e t o

#et g o o' an g er , "u t t h e %ast ' ew wee- s

h ave "een st ran g e ' or "ot h o' u s, an d I

am h a%%y t o re#ease t h e ' ee# in g s I h ave

"een h o#din g on t o, t h e an g er an d t h e ' ear

t h at h e h at es m e an d t h e g u i # t ' rom

wor- in g wi t h h i s ' at h er "eh in d h i s "a!- $

2Th i s st u ' ' i s - in d o' g ross,5 h e say s,

drain in g h i s !u % an d set t in g i t down $

2< es, i t i s,5 I say , st arin g at wh at

rem ain s in m in e$ I drin - i t in on e g u #%,

win !in g as t h e "u ""#es "u rn m y t h roat $ 2I


40/675

don 3t - n ow wh at t h e Eru di t e are a#way s

"rag g in g a"ou t $ Dau n t #ess !a- e i s m u !h

"et t er$5

2I won der wh at t h e A"n eg at ion t reat

wou #d h ave "een , i ' t h ey h ad on e$5

2*t a#e "read$5

He #au g h s$ 2P#ain oatm ea# $5

21i #- $5

2*om et im es I t h in - I "e# ieve

every t h in g t h ey t au g h t u s,5 h e say s$ 2.u t

o"viou s#y n ot , sin !e I 3m si t t in g h ere

h o#din g y ou r h an d rig h t n ow wi t h ou t

h avin g m arried y ou ' i rst $5

2&h at do t h e Dau n t #ess t ea!h a"ou t

$ $ $ t h at 45 I say , n oddin g t o ou r h an ds$

2&h at do t h e Dau n t #ess t ea!h , h m m $5

He sm i r- s$ 2Do wh at ever y ou wan t , "u t

u se %rot e!t ion , i s wh at t h ey t ea!h $5

I rai se m y ey e"rows$ *u dden #y m y

' a!e ' ee# s warm $

2I t h in - I 3d # i- e t o ' in d a m idd#e

g rou n d ' or m y se# ' ,5 h e say s$ 2T o ' in d

t h at %#a!e "etween wh at I wan t an d wh at

I t h in - i s wi se$5

2Th at sou n ds g ood$5 I %au se$ 2.u t

wh at do y ou wan t 45


41/675

I t h in - I - n ow t h e an swer , "u t I wan t

t o h ear h im say i t $

2Hm m $5 He g rin s, an d #ean s ' orward

on t o h i s - n ees$ He %resses h i s h an ds t o

t h e m et a# %#at e, ' ram in g m y h ead wi t h h i s

arm s, an d - i sses m e, s#ow#y , on m y

m ou t h , u n der m y 6aw, rig h t a"ove m y

!o# #ar"on e$ I st ay st i # # , n ervou s a"ou t

doin g an y t h in g , in !ase i t 3 s st u %id or h e

doesn 3t # i- e i t $ .u t t h en I ' ee# # i- e a

st at u e, # i- e I am n ot rea# #y h ere at a# # ,

an d so I t ou !h h i s wai st , h esi t an t #y $

Th en h i s # i%s are on m in e ag ain , an d

h e %u # # s h i s sh i rt ou t ' rom u n der m y

h an ds so t h at I am t ou !h in g h i s "are s- in $

I !om e t o # i ' e, %ressin g !#oser , m y h an ds

!ree%in g u % h i s "a!- , s# idin g over h i s

sh ou #ders$ Hi s "reat h s !om e ' ast er an d

so do m in e, an d I t ast e t h e #em on sy ru %' i: : we 6u st dran - an d I sm

e# # t h e win d

on h i s s- in an d a# # I wan t i s m ore, m ore$

I %u sh h i s sh i rt u %$ A m om en t ag o I

was !o#d, "u t I don 3t t h in - ei t h er o' u s i s

!o#d n ow$ Hi s arm wra%s arou n d m y

wai st , st ron g an d !ert ain , an d h i s ' ree

h an d t an g #es in m y h ai r an d I s#ow down ,

drin - in g i t in (t h e sm oot h n ess o' h i s


42/675

s- in , m ar- ed u % an d down wi t h "#a!-

in - , an d t h e in si st en !e o' t h e - i ss, an d

t h e !oo# ai r wra%%ed arou n d u s "ot h $

I re#a+ , an d I n o #on g er ' ee# # i- e

som e - in d o' Diverg en t so#dier , de' y in g

seru m s an d g overn m en t #eaders a# i- e$ I

' ee# so' t er , # ig h t er , an d # i- e i t i s o- ay t o

#au g h a # i t t #e as h i s ' in g ert i%s "ru sh over

m y h i%s an d t h e sm a# # o' m y "a!- , or t o

sig h in t o h i s ear wh en h e %u # # s m e

ag ain st h im , "u ry in g h i s ' a!e in t h e side

o' m y n e!- so t h at h e !an - i ss m e t h ere$ I

' ee# # i- e m y se# ' , st ron g an d wea- at on !e

(a# #owed, at #east ' or a # i t t #e wh i #e, t o

"e "ot h $

I don 3t - n ow h ow #on g i t i s "e' ore

we g et !o#d ag ain , an d h u dd#e u n der t h e

"#an - et t og et h er$

2I t 3 s g et t in g m ore di ' ' i!u # t t o "e

wi se,5 h e say s, #au g h in g in t o m y ear$

I sm i #e at h im $ 2I t h in - t h at 3s h ow i t 3s

su %%osed t o "e$5

CHAPTER

*I@

T O.IA*

*O1ET HI NG I * .RE&I NG$


43/675


44/675

' a!t ion #ess g i r# 6o# t s ' rom h er seat as i '

st u !- wi t h a # ive wi re, an d t h ey a# # st art

t oward t h e door $ I am rig h t "eh in d t h em ,

e#"owin g m y way %ast s#owm overs

t h rou g h t h e #o""y o' Eru di t e

h eadu art ers, wh ere t h e %ort rai t o'

Jean in e 1at t h ews st i # # # ies in sh reds on

t h e ' #oor$

A g rou % o' ' a!t ion #ess h as a# ready

g at h ered ou t side, in t h e m idd#e o'

1i!h ig an A ven u e$ A #ay er o' %a#e

!#ou ds !overs t h e su n , m a- in g t h e

day # ig h t h a: y an d du # # $ I h ear som eon e

sh ou t , 2Deat h t o t h e ' a!t ion s; 5 an d ot h ers

%i!- u % t h e %h rase, t u rn in g i t in t o a !h an t ,

u n t i # i t ' i # # s m y ears, Death to the

'a!t ions, death to the 'a!t ions$ I see

t h ei r ' i st s in t h e ai r , # i- e e+ !i t a"#e

Dau n t #ess, "u t wi t h ou t t h e Dau n t #ess 6oy $

Th ei r ' a!es are twi st ed wi t h rag e$

I %u sh t oward t h e m idd#e o' t h e

g rou %, an d t h en I see wh at t h ey 3re a# #

g at h ered arou n d0 Th e h u g e, m an si: ed

' a!t ion "ow# s ' rom t h e Ch oosin g

Cerem on y are t u rn ed on t h ei r sides, t h ei r

!on t en t s s%i # # in g a!ross t h e road, !oa# s


45/675

an d g #ass an d st on e an d eart h an d wat er

a# # m in g # in g t og et h er$

I rem em "er s# i!in g in t o m y %a#m t o

add m y "#ood t o t h e !oa# s, m y ' i rst a!t o'

de' ian !e ag ain st m y ' at h er $ I rem em "er

t h e su rg e o' %ower in side m e, an d t h e

ru sh o' re# ie' $ Es!a%e$ Th ese "ow# s

were m y es!a%e$

Edward st an ds am on g t h em , sh ards

o' g #ass g rou n d t o du st "en eat h h i s h ee# ,

a s#edg eh am m er h e#d a"ove h i s h ead$ He

"rin g s i t down on on e o' t h e overt u rn ed

"ow# s, ' or!in g a den t in t o t h e m et a# $

Coa# du st ri ses in t o t h e ai r$

I h ave t o st o% m y se# ' ' rom ru n n in g at

h im $ He !an 3t dest roy i t , n ot t h at "ow# ,

n ot t h e Ch oosin g Cerem on y , n ot t h e

sy m "o# o' m y t riu m %h $ Th ose t h in g s

sh ou #d n ot "e dest roy ed$

Th e !rowd i s swe# # in g , n ot 6u st wi t h

' a!t ion #ess wearin g "#a!- arm "an ds wi t h

em %t y wh i t e !i r!#es on t h em , "u t wi t h

%eo%#e ' rom every ' orm er ' a!t ion , t h ei r

arm s "are$ An Eru di t e m an (h i s ' a!t ion

st i # # in di!at ed "y h i s n eat #y %art ed h ai r

("u rst s ' ree o' t h e !rowd 6u st as


46/675

Edward i s %u # # in g "a!- t h e

s#edg eh am m er ' or an ot h er swin g $ He

wra%s h i s so' t , in - sm u dg ed h an ds

arou n d t h e h an d#e, 6u st a"ove Edward3 s,

an d t h ey %u sh in t o ea!h ot h er , t eet h

g ri t t ed$

I see a "#on d h ead a!ross t h e !rowd

(T ri s, wearin g a #oose "#u e sh i rt

wi t h ou t s#eeves, sh owin g t h e edg es o'

t h e ' a!t ion t at t oos on h er sh ou #ders$ *h e

t ries t o ru n t o Edward an d t h e Eru di t e

m an , "u t Ch ri st in a st o%s h er wi t h "ot h

h an ds$

Th e Eru di t e m an 3 s ' a!e t u rn s %u r%#e$

Edward i s t a# #er an d st ron g er t h an h e i s$

He h as n o !h an !e9 h e3 s a ' oo# ' or t ry in g $

Edward ri%s t h e s#edg eh am m er h an d#e

' rom t h e Eru di t e m an 3s h an ds an d swin g s

ag ain $ .u t h e3 s o' ' "a#an !e, di: : y wi t h

rag e(t h e s#edg eh am m er h i t s t h e Eru di t e

m an in t h e sh ou #der at ' u # # ' or!e, m et a#

!ra!- in g "on e$

)or a m om en t a# # I h ear i s t h e

Eru di t e m an 3 s s!ream s$ I t 3 s # i- e

every on e i s t a- in g a "reat h $

Th en t h e !rowd e+ %#odes in t o a


47/675

' ren : y , every on e ru n n in g t oward t h e

"ow# s, t oward Edward, t oward t h e

Eru di t e m an $ Th ey !o# # ide wi t h on e

an ot h er an d t h en wi t h m e, sh ou #ders an d

e#"ows an d h eads h i t t in g m e over an d

over ag ain $

I don 3t - n ow wh ere t o ru n 0 t o t h e

Eru di t e m an , t o Edward, t o T ri s4 I !an 3t

t h in - 9 I !an 3t "reat h e$ Th e !rowd !arries

m e t oward Edward, an d I g ra" h i s arm $

27 et g o; 5 I sh ou t over t h e n oi se$ Hi s

sin g #e "rig h t ey e ' i+ es on m e, an d h e

"ares h i s t eet h , t ry in g t o wren !h h im se# '

away $

I "rin g m y - n ee u %, in t o h i s side$ He

st u m "#es "a!- , #osin g h i s g ri% on t h e

s#edg eh am m er $ I h o#d i t !#ose t o m y #eg

an d st art t oward Tri s$

*h e i s som ewh ere in ' ron t o' m e,

st ru g g # in g t oward t h e Eru di t e m an $ I

wat !h as a wom an 3 s e#"ow h i t s h er in

t h e !h ee- , sen din g h er ree# in g "a!- ward$

Ch ri st in a sh oves t h e wom an away $

Th en a g u n g oes o' ' $ On !e, twi!e$

Th ree t im es$

Th e !rowd s!at t ers, every on e


48/675

ru n n in g in t error ' rom t h e t h reat o'

"u # #et s, an d I t ry t o see wh o, i ' an y on e,

was sh ot , "u t t h e ru sh o' "odies i s t oo

in t en se$ I !an "are#y see an y t h in g $

T ri s an d Ch ri st in a !rou !h n e+ t t o t h e

Eru di t e m an wi t h t h e sh at t ered sh ou #der $

Hi s ' a!e i s "#oody an d h i s !#ot h es are

di rt y wi t h ' oot %rin t s$ Hi s !om "ed

Eru di t e h ai r i s t ou s#ed$ He i sn 3t m ovin g $

A ' ew ' eet away ' rom h im , Edward

# ies in a %oo# o' h i s own "#ood$ Th e

"u # #et h i t h im in t h e g u t $ Th ere are ot h er

%eo%#e on t h e g rou n d t oo, %eo%#e I don 3t

re!og n i: e, %eo%#e wh o g ot t ram %#ed or

sh ot $ I su s%e!t t h e "u # #et s were m ean t ' or

Edward an d Edward a#on e(t h e ot h ers

were 6u st "y st an ders$

I #oo- arou n d wi #d#y "u t I don 3t see

t h e sh oot er $ &h oever i t was seem s t o

h ave di sso#ved in t o t h e !rowd$

I dro% t h e s#edg eh am m er n e+ t t o t h e

den t ed "ow# an d - n ee# "eside Edward,

A"n eg at ion st on es dig g in g in t o m y

- n ee!a%s$ Hi s rem ain in g ey e m oves "a!-

an d ' ort h "en eat h h i s ey e# id(h e3 s a# ive,

' or n ow$


49/675

2& e h ave t o g et h im t o t h e h os%i t a# ,5

I say t o wh oever i s # i st en in g $ A#m ost

every on e i s g on e$

I #oo- over m y sh ou #der at T ri s an d

t h e Eru di t e m an , wh o h asn 3t m oved$ 2I s

h e $ $ $ 45

Her ' in g ers are on h i s t h roat , t a- in g

h i s %u # se, an d h er ey es are wide an d

em %t y $ *h e sh a- es h er h ead$ No, h e i s

n ot a# ive$ I didn 3t t h in - h e was$

I !#ose m y ey es$ Th e ' a!t ion "ow# s

are %rin t ed on m y ey e# ids, t i%%ed on

t h ei r sides, t h ei r !on t en t s in a %i #e on t h e

st reet $ Th e sy m "o# s o' ou r o#d way o'

# i ' e, dest roy ed(a m an dead, ot h ers

in 6u red(an d ' or wh at 4

)or n ot h in g $ )or Eve#y n 3 s em %t y ,

n arrow vi sion 0 a !i t y wh ere ' a!t ion s are

wren !h ed away ' rom %eo%#e ag ain st

t h ei r wi # # $

*h e wan t ed u s t o h ave m ore t h an ' ive

!h oi!es$ Now we h ave n on e$

I - n ow ' or su re, t h en , t h at I !an 3t "e

h er a# #y , an d I n ever !ou #d h ave$

2& e h ave t o g o,5 T ri s say s, an d I

- n ow sh e3 s n ot t a#- in g a"ou t #eavin g


50/675

1i!h ig an A ven u e or t a- in g Edward t o

t h e h os%i t a# 9 sh e3s t a#- in g a"ou t t h e !i t y $

2&e h ave t o g o,5 I re%eat $

Th e m a- esh i ' t h os%i t a# at Eru di t e

h eadu art ers sm e# # s # i- e !h em i!a# s,

a#m ost g ri t t y in m y n ose$ I !#ose m y ey es

as I wai t ' or Eve#y n $

I 3m so an g ry I don 3t even wan t t o si t

h ere, I 6u st wan t t o %a!- u % m y t h in g s

an d #eave$ *h e m u st h ave %#an n ed t h at

dem on st rat ion , or sh e wou #dn 3t h ave

- n own a"ou t i t t h e day "e' ore, an d sh e

m u st h ave - n own t h at i t wou #d g et ou t o'

!on t ro# , wi t h t en sion s ru n n in g as h ig h as

t h ey are$ .u t sh e did i t an y way $ 1a- in g

a "ig st at em en t a"ou t t h e ' a!t ion s was

m ore im %ort an t t o h er t h an sa' et y or t h e

%ot en t ia# #oss o' # ives$ I don 3t - n ow wh y

t h at su r%ri ses m e$

I h ear t h e e#evat or doors s# ide o%en ,

an d h er voi!e0 2To"ias; 5

*h e ru sh es t oward m e an d sei: es m y

h an ds, wh i!h are st i!- y wi t h "#ood$ Her

dar- ey es are wide wi t h ' ear as sh e say s,

2Are y ou h u rt 45

*h e3 s worried a"ou t m e$ Th e t h ou g h t


51/675

i s a # i t t #e %in %ri!- o' h eat in side m e(

sh e m u st #ove m e, t o worry a"ou t m e$

*h e m u st st i # # "e !a%a"#e o' #ove$

2Th e "#ood i s Edward3 s$ I h e#%ed

!arry h im h ere$5

2How i s h e45 sh e say s$

I sh a- e m y h ead$ 2Dead$5

I don 3t - n ow h ow e# se t o say i t $

*h e sh rin - s "a!- , re#easin g m y

h an ds, an d si t s on on e o' t h e wai t in g

room !h ai rs$ 1y m ot h er em "ra!ed

Edward a' t er h e de' e!t ed ' rom

Dau n t #ess$ *h e m u st h ave t au g h t h im t o

"e a warrior ag ain , a' t er t h e #oss o' h i s

ey e an d h i s ' a!t ion an d h i s ' oot in g $ I

n ever - n ew t h ey were so !#ose, "u t I !an

see i t n ow, in t h e g #eam o' t ears in h er

ey es an d t h e t rem "# in g o' h er ' in g ers$ I t 3 s

t h e m ost em ot ion I 3ve seen h er sh ow

sin !e I was a !h i #d, sin !e m y ' at h er

s#am m ed h er in t o ou r # ivin g room wa# # s$

I %ress t h e m em ory away as i '

st u ' ' in g i t in t o a drawer t h at i s t oo sm a# #

' or i t $

2I 3m sorry ,5 I say $ I don 3t - n ow i ' I

rea# #y m ean i t or i ' I 3m 6u st say in g i t so


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sh e st i # # t h in - s I 3m on h er side$ Th en I

add t en t at ive#y , 2&h y didn 3t y ou t e# # m e

a"ou t t h e dem on st rat ion 45

*h e sh a- es h er h ead$ 2I didn 3t - n ow

a"ou t i t $5

*h e3 s #y in g $ I - n ow$ I de!ide t o #et

h er $ I n order t o st ay on h er g ood side, I

h ave t o avoid !on ' # i!t wi t h h er $ Or

m ay "e I 6u st don 3t wan t t o %ress t h e

i ssu e wi t h Edward3 s deat h #oom in g over

"ot h o' u s$ *om et im es i t 3 s h ard ' or m e t o

t e# # wh ere st rat eg y en ds an d sy m %at h y

' or h er "eg in s$

2Oh $5 I s!rat !h "eh in d m y ear $ 2< ou

!an g o in an d see h im , i ' y ou wan t $5

2No$5 *h e seem s ' ar away $ 2I - n ow

wh at "odies #oo- # i- e$5 Dri ' t in g ' u rt h er$

21ay "e I sh ou #d g o$5

2*t ay ,5 sh e say s$ *h e t ou !h es t h e

em %t y !h ai r "etween u s$ 2P#ease$5

I t a- e t h e seat "eside h er , an d t h ou g h

I t e# # m y se# ' t h at I am 6u st an u n der!over

ag en t o"ey in g h i s su %%osed #eader , I ' ee#

# i- e I am a son !om ' ort in g h i s g rievin g

m ot h er$

& e si t wi t h ou r sh ou #ders t ou !h in g ,


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54/675

6u st y ou , m e, an d $ $ $ 1y ra, %ro"a"#y $5

I h aven 3t seen 1y ra sin !e sh e #e' t t h e

Dau n t #ess !om %ou n d wi t h Edward, rig h t

a' t er h i s ey e was !#aim ed "y a "u t t er

- n i ' e$ I - n ow t h ey "ro- e u % n ot #on g a' t er

t h at , "u t I n ever ' ou n d ou t wh ere sh e

wen t $ I don 3t t h in - I ever e+ !h an g ed

m ore t h an a ' ew words wi t h h er an y way $

A set o' doors t o t h e Han !o!-

"u i #din g are a# ready o%en , dan g # in g ' rom

t h ei r h in g es$ = riah said t h at h e wou #d

!om e h ere ear#y t o t u rn on t h e g en erat or ,

an d su re en ou g h , wh en I t ou !h m y ' in g er

t o t h e e#evat or "u t t on , i t g #ows t h rou g h

m y ' in g ern ai # $

2Have y ou "een h ere "e' ore45 I say

as we wa#- in t o t h e e#evat or$

2No,5 Ch ri st in a say s$ 2Not in side, I

m ean $ I didn 3t g et t o g o : i% # in in g ,

rem em "er45

2Rig h t $5 I #ean ag ain st t h e wa# # $

2


55/675

!om in g ' rom $ *o m an y aw' u # t h in g s h ave

h a%%en ed, som et im es i t ' ee# s # i- e a g ood

idea t o st ay h ere an d 6u st $ $ $ t ry t o !#ean

u % t h i s m ess "e' ore we g et ou rse#ves

in vo#ved in an ot h er $5 *h e sm i #es a # i t t #e$

2.u t o' !ou rse, I 3m n ot g oin g t o do t h at ,5

sh e adds$ 2I 3m n ot even su re wh y $

Cu riosi t y , I g u ess$5

2Have y ou t a#- ed t o y ou r %aren t s

a"ou t i t 45

*om et im es I ' org et t h at Ch ri st in a

i sn 3t # i- e m e, wi t h n o ' am i #y #oy a# t y t o

t ie h er t o on e %#a!e an y m ore$ *h e h as a

m ot h er an d a # i t t #e si st er , "ot h ' orm er

Can dor$

2Th ey h ave t o #oo- a' t er m y si st er ,5

sh e say s$ 2Th ey don 3t - n ow i ' i t 3 s sa' e

ou t t h ere9 t h ey don 3t wan t t o ri s- h er$5

2.u t t h ey wou #d "e o- ay wi t h y ou

#eavin g 45

2Th ey were o- ay wi t h m e 6oin in g

an ot h er ' a!t ion $ Th ey 3# # "e o- ay wi t h

t h i s, t oo,5 sh e say s$ *h e #oo- s down at

h er sh oes$ 2Th ey 6u st wan t m e t o # ive an

h on est # i ' e, y ou - n ow4 An d I !an 3t do

t h at h ere$ I 6u st - n ow t h at I !an 3t $5


56/675

Th e e#evat or doors o%en , an d t h e

win d h i t s u s im m ediat e#y , st i # # warm "u t

woven wi t h t h reads o' win t er !o#d$ I

h ear voi!es !om in g ' rom t h e roo' , an d I

!# im " t h e #adder t o g et t o t h em $ I t

"ou n !es wi t h ea!h o' m y ' oot st e%s, "u t

Ch ri st in a h o#ds i t st eady ' or m e u n t i # I

rea!h t h e t o%$

= riah an d > e- e are t h ere, t h rowin g

%e""#es o' ' t h e roo' an d # i st en in g ' or t h e

!#at t er wh en t h ey h i t t h e win dows$ = riah

t ries t o "u m % > e- e3 s e#"ow "e' ore h e

t h rows, t o m ess h im u %, "u t > e- e i s t oo

u i!- ' or h im $

2Hey ,5 t h ey say in u n i son wh en t h ey

s%ot Ch ri st in a an d m e$

2& ai t , are y ou g u y s re#at ed or

som et h in g 45 Ch ri st in a say s, g rin n in g $

Th ey "ot h #au g h , "u t = riah #oo- s a # i t t #e

da: ed, # i- e h e3 s n ot u i t e !on n e!t ed t o

t h i s m om en t or t h i s %#a!e$ I g u ess #osin g

som eon e t h e way h e #ost 1ar#en e !an do

t h at t o a %erson , t h ou g h t h at 3 s n ot wh at i t

did t o m e$

Th ere are n o s# in g s on t h e roo' ' or

t h e : i% # in e, an d t h at 3 s n ot wh y we !am e$


57/675

I don 3t - n ow wh y t h e ot h ers did, "u t I

wan t ed t o "e u % h ig h (I wan t ed t o see

as ' ar as I !ou #d$ .u t a# # t h e #an d west o'

wh ere I am i s "#a!- , # i- e i t 3 s dra%ed in a

dar- "#an - et $ )or a m om en t I t h in - I !an

m a- e ou t a g # im m er o' # ig h t on t h e

h ori: on , "u t t h e n e+ t i t 3 s g on e, 6u st a

t ri!- o' t h e ey es$

Th e ot h ers are u iet t oo$ I won der i '

we3re a# # t h in - in g t h e sam e t h in g $

2&h at do y ou t h in - 3 s ou t t h ere45

= riah ' in a# #y say s$

> e- e 6u st sh ru g s, "u t Ch ri st in a

ven t u res a g u ess$ 2&h at i ' i t 3 s 6u st m ore

o' t h e sam e4 Ju st $ $ $ m ore !ru m "# in g

!i t y , m ore ' a!t ion s, m ore o' every t h in g 45

2Can 3t "e,5 = riah say s, sh a- in g h i s

h ead$ 2Th ere h as t o "e som et h in g e# se$5

2Or t h ere3 s n ot h in g ,5 > e- e su g g est s$

2Th ose %eo%#e wh o %u t u s a# # in h ere,

t h ey !ou #d 6u st "e dead$ Every t h in g

!ou #d "e em %t y $5

I sh iver $ I h ad n ever t h ou g h t o' t h at

"e' ore, "u t h e3 s rig h t(we don 3t - n ow

wh at 3 s h a%%en ed ou t t h ere sin !e t h ey %u t

u s in h ere, or h ow m an y g en erat ion s


58/675

h ave # ived an d died sin !e t h ey did$ & e

!ou #d "e t h e #ast %eo%#e #e' t $

2I t doesn 3t m at t er ,5 I say , m ore

st ern #y t h an I m ean t o$ 2I t doesn 3t m at t er

wh at 3 s ou t t h ere, we h ave t o see i t ' or

ou rse#ves$ An d t h en we3# # dea# wi t h i t

on !e we h ave$5

& e st an d t h ere ' or a #on g t im e$ I

' o# #ow t h e "u m %y edg es o' "u i #din g s

wi t h m y ey es u n t i # a# # t h e # i t win dows

sm ear in t o a # in e$ Th en = riah as- s

Ch ri st in a a"ou t t h e riot , an d ou r st i # # ,

si #en t m om en t %asses as i ' !arried away

"y t h e win d$

Th e n e+ t day , Eve#y n st an ds am on g t h e

%ie!es o' Jean in e 1at t h ews3 s %ort rai t in

t h e Eru di t e h eadu art ers #o""y an d

an n ou n !es a n ew set o' ru #es$ )orm er

' a!t ion m em "ers an d ' a!t ion #ess a# i- e

are g at h ered in t h e s%a!e an d s%i # # in g ou t

in t o t h e st reet t o h ear wh at ou r n ew

#eader h as t o say , an d ' a!t ion #ess

so#diers # in e t h e wa# # s, t h ei r ' in g ers

%oi sed over t h e t rig g ers o' t h ei r g u n s$

8ee%in g u s u n der !on t ro# $

2< est erday 3 s even t s m ade i t !#ear


59/675

t h at we are n o #on g er a"#e t o t ru st ea!h

ot h er ,5 sh e say s$ *h e #oo- s ash en an d

e+ h au st ed$ 2& e wi # # "e in t rodu !in g

m ore st ru !t u re in t o every on e3 s # ives

u n t i # ou r si t u at ion i s m ore st a"#e$ Th e

' i rst o' t h ese m easu res i s a !u r' ew0

Every on e i s reu i red t o ret u rn t o t h ei r

assig n ed # ivin g s%a!es at n in e o3!#o!- at

n ig h t $ Th ey wi # # n ot #eave t h ose s%a!es

u n t i # eig h t o3!#o!- t h e n e+ t m orn in g $

Gu ards wi # # "e %at ro# # in g t h e st reet s at

a# # h ou rs t o - ee% u s sa' e$5

I sn ort an d t ry t o !over i t u % wi t h a

!ou g h $ Ch ri st in a e#"ows m e in t h e side

an d t ou !h es h er ' in g er t o h er # i%s$ I don 3t

- n ow wh y sh e !ares(i t 3 s n ot # i- e

Eve#y n !an h ear m e ' rom a# # t h e way at

t h e ' ron t o' t h e room $

T ori , ' orm er #eader o' Dau n t #ess,

ou st ed "y Eve#y n h erse# ' , st an ds a ' ew

' eet away ' rom m e, h er arm s !rossed$

Her m ou t h twi t !h es in t o a sn eer$

2I t 3 s a# so t im e t o %re%are ' or ou r

n ew, ' a!t ion #ess way o' # i ' e$ *t art in g

t oday , every on e wi # # "eg in t o #earn t h e

6o"s t h e ' a!t ion #ess h ave don e ' or as


60/675

#on g as we !an rem em "er $ & e wi # # t h en

a# # do t h ose 6o"s on a rot at ion s!h edu #e,

in addi t ion t o t h e ot h er du t ies t h at h ave

t radi t ion a# #y "een %er' orm ed "y t h e

' a!t ion s$5 Eve#y n sm i #es wi t h ou t rea# #y

sm i # in g $ I don 3t - n ow h ow sh e does i t $

2& e wi # # a# # !on t ri"u t e eu a# #y t o ou r

n ew !i t y , as i t sh ou #d "e$ Th e ' a!t ion s

h ave divided u s, "u t n ow we wi # # "e

u n i t ed$ Now, an d ' orever$5

A# # arou n d m e t h e ' a!t ion #ess !h eer $

I 6u st ' ee# u n easy $ I don 3t di sag ree wi t h

h er , e+ a!t #y , "u t t h e sam e ' a!t ion

m em "ers wh o rose u % ag ain st Edward

y est erday won 3t rem ain u iet a' t er t h i s,

ei t h er $ Eve#y n 3 s h o#d on t h i s !i t y i s n ot

as st ron g as sh e m ig h t # i- e$

I don 3t wan t t o wrest #e wi t h t h e !rowds

a' t er Eve#y n 3 s an n ou n !em en t , so I weave

t h rou g h t h e h a# #way s u n t i # I ' in d on e o'

t h e st ai r!ases in t h e "a!- , t h e on e we

!# im "ed t o rea!h Jean in e3 s #a"orat ory

n ot t oo #on g ag o$ Th e st e%s were

!rowded wi t h "odies t h en $ Now t h ey are

!#ean an d !oo# , # i- e n ot h in g ever

h a%%en ed h ere$


61/675

As I wa#- %ast t h e ' ou rt h ' #oor , I h ear

a y e# # , an d som e s!u ' ' # in g sou n ds$ I o%en

t h e door t o a !#u st er o' %eo%#e(y ou n g ,

y ou n g er t h an I am , an d a# # s%ort in g

' a!t ion #ess arm "an ds(g at h ered arou n d

a y ou n g m an on t h e g rou n d$

Not 6u st a y ou n g m an (a Can dor ,

dressed in "#a!- an d wh i t e ' rom h ead t o

t oe$

I ru n t oward t h em , an d wh en I see a

t a# # ' a!t ion #ess g i r# draw "a!- h er ' oot t o

- i!- ag ain , I sh ou t , 2Hey ; 5

No u se(t h e - i!- h i t s t h e Can dor

"oy in t h e side, an d h e g roan s, twi st in g

away ' rom i t $

2Hey ; 5 I y e# # ag ain , an d t h i s t im e t h e

g i r# t u rn s$ *h e3s m u !h t a# #er t h an I am (a

g ood si+ in !h es, in ' a!t("u t I 3m on #y

an g ry , n ot a' raid$

2.a!- u %,5 I say $ 2.a!- away ' rom

h im $5

2He3 s in vio#at ion o' t h e dress !ode$

I 3m we# # wi t h in m y rig h t s, an d I don 3t

t a- e orders ' rom ' a!t ion #overs,5 sh e

say s, h er ey es on t h e in - !ree%in g over

m y !o# #ar"on e$


62/675


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u n !ert ain set o' h er m ou t h $

2< ou 3d "et t er wat !h y ou r "a!- ,5 sh e

say s$

2I g u aran t ee y ou t h at I don 3t n eed

t o,5 I say $ 2Now g et ou t o' h ere$5

I st ay 6u st #on g en ou g h t o see t h em

s!at t er , t h en - ee% wa#- in g $ Th e Can dor

"oy !a# # s, 2&ai t ;


64/675

g ra"s m y arm an d drag s m e t o t h e side$

*om eon e sh oves a sa!- over m y h ead

wh i #e som eon e e# se %u sh es m e ag ain st

t h e wa# # $ I t h rash ag ain st t h em , st ru g g # in g

wi t h t h e ' a"ri! !overin g m y ' a!e, an d a# #

I !an t h in - i s, Not again not again not

again$ I twi st on e arm ' ree an d %u n !h ,

h i t t in g som eon e in a sh ou #der or a !h in , I

!an 3t t e# # $

2Hey ; 5 a voi!e say s$ 2Th at hurt ; 5

2& e3re sorry ' or ' rig h t en in g y ou ,

T ri s,5 an ot h er voi!e say s, 2"u t

an on y m i t y i s in t eg ra# t o ou r o%erat ion $

&e m ean y ou n o h arm $5

2 7e t go o' m e, t h en ; 5 I say , a#m ost

g row# in g $ A# # t h e h an ds h o#din g m e t o

t h e wa# # ' a# # away $

2&h o are y ou 45 I dem an d$

2& e are t h e A# #eg ian t ,5 t h e voi!e

re%# ies$ 2An d we are m an y , y et we are

n o on e$ $ $ $5

I !an 3t h e#% i t 0 I #au g h $ 1ay "e i t 3 s t h e

sh o!- (or t h e ' ear , m y %ou n din g h eart

s#owin g "y t h e se!on d, m y h an ds sh a- in g

wi t h re# ie' $

Th e voi!e !on t in u es, 2& e h ave


65/675

h eard t h at y ou are n ot #oy a# t o Eve#y n

Joh n son an d h er ' a!t ion #ess #a!- ey s$5

2Th i s i s ridi!u #ou s$5

2Not as ridi!u #ou s as t ru st in g

som eon e wi t h y ou r iden t i t y wh en y ou

don 3t h ave t o$5

I t ry t o see t h rou g h t h e ' i"ers o'

wh at ever i s over m y h ead, "u t t h ey are

t oo den se an d i t i s t oo dar- $ I t ry t o re#a+

ag ain st t h e wa# # , "u t i t 3 s di ' ' i!u # t wi t h ou t

m y vi sion t o orien t m e$ I !ru sh t h e side

o' a "ea- er u n der m y sh oe$

2No, I 3m n ot #oy a# t o h er ,5 I say $

2&h y does t h at m at t er45

2.e!au se i t m ean s y ou wan t t o

#eave,5 t h e voi!e say s$ I ' ee# a %ri!- #e o'

e+ !i t em en t $ 2& e wan t t o as- y ou ' or a

' avor , T ri s Prior $ & e3re g oin g t o h ave a

m eet in g t om orrow n ig h t , at m idn ig h t $ & e

wan t y ou t o "rin g y ou r Dau n t #ess

' rien ds$5

2O- ay ,5 I say $ 27 et m e as- y ou t h i s0

I ' I 3m g oin g t o see wh o y ou are

t om orrow, wh y i s i t so im %ort an t t o - ee%

t h i s t h in g over m y h ead t oday 45

Th i s seem s t o t em %orari #y st u m %


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wh oever I 3m t a#- in g t o$

2A day !on t ain s m an y dan g ers,5 t h e

voi!e say s$ 2& e3# # see y ou t om orrow, at

m idn ig h t , in t h e %#a!e wh ere y ou m ade

y ou r !on ' ession $5

A# # at on !e, t h e door swin g s o%en ,

"#owin g t h e sa!- ag ain st m y !h ee- s, an d

I h ear ru n n in g ' oot st e%s down t h e

h a# #way $ .y t h e t im e I 3m a"#e t o %u # # t h e

sa!- ' rom m y h ead, t h e !orridor i s si #en t $

I #oo- down at i t(i t 3 s a dar- "#u e

%i # #ow!ase wi t h t h e words 2)a!t ion

"e' ore "#ood5 %ain t ed on i t $

&h oever t h ey are, t h ey !ert ain #y

h ave a ' #ai r ' or t h e dram at i!$

The %#a!e wher e you made your

!on'ession$

Th ere3s on #y on e %#a!e t h at !ou #d "e0

Can dor h eadu art ers, wh ere I

su !!u m "ed t o t h e t ru t h seru m $

&h en I ' in a# #y m a- e i t "a!- t o t h e

dorm i t ory t h at even in g , I ' in d a n ot e ' rom

T o"ias t u !- ed u n der t h e g #ass o' wat er

on m y "edside t a"#e$

/I(

< our "r other 3 s t ria# wi # # "e


67/675

tomorr ow morning, and i t wi # #

"e %rivate$ I !an3 t go or I3# #

rai se sus%i!ion, "ut I3# # get you

the ver di!t as soon as %ossi"#e$

Then we !an ma-e some -ind o'

%#an$

No mat ter what , thi s wi # #

"e over soon$

(I/

CHAPTER

EIG HT

T RI*

I T 3 * NI NE O3 C7OC8$ Th ey !ou #d "e

de!idin g Ca#e"3 s verdi!t rig h t n ow, as I

t ie m y sh oes, as I st raig h t en m y sh eet s

' or t h e ' ou rt h t im e t oday $ I %u t m y h an ds

t h rou g h m y h ai r $ Th e ' a!t ion #ess on #y

m a- e t ria# s %rivat e wh en t h ey ' ee# t h e

verdi!t i s o"viou s, an d Ca#e" was

Jean in e3 s rig h t h an d m an "e' ore sh e was

- i # #ed$

I sh ou #dn 3t worry a"ou t h i s verdi!t $

I t 3 s a# ready de!ided$ A# # o' Jean in e3 s

!#osest asso!iat es wi # # "e e+ e!u t ed$

&hy do you !ar e4 I as- m y se# ' $ He

"et rayed you$ He didn3 t t ry to sto% y ou r


68/675

e+e!ut ion$

I don 3t !are$ I do !are$ I don 3t - n ow$

2Hey , T ri s,5 Ch ri st in a say s, ra%%in g

h er - n u !- #es ag ain st t h e door ' ram e$

= riah #u r- s "eh in d h er $ He st i # # sm i #es

a# # t h e t im e, "u t n ow h i s sm i #es #oo- # i- e

t h ey 3re m ade o' wat er , a"ou t t o dri%

down h i s ' a!e$

2


69/675

Dau n t #ess o' m e t o 6u st t ru st t h em

im m ediat e#y , "u t t h ese are st ran g e t im es$

An d I 3m n ot su re h ow Dau n t #ess I rea# #y

am , an y way , n ow t h at t h e ' a!t ion s are

g on e$

I ' ee# a st ran g e # i t t #e a!h e at t h e

t h ou g h t , rig h t in t h e m idd#e o' m y !h est $

*om e t h in g s are h ard t o #et g o o' $

2*o wh at do y ou t h in - t h ey wan t 45

Ch ri st in a say s$ 2Ju st t o #eave t h e !i t y 45

2I t sou n ds t h at way , "u t I don 3t

- n ow,5 I say $

2How do we - n ow t h ey 3re n ot

Eve#y n 3 s %eo%#e, t ry in g t o t ri!- u s in t o

"et ray in g h er45

2I don 3t - n ow t h at , ei t h er ,5 I say $

2.u t i t 3 s g oin g t o "e im %ossi"#e t o g et

ou t o' t h e !i t y wi t h ou t som eon e3 s h e#%,

an d I 3m n ot 6u st g oin g t o st ay h ere,

#earn in g h ow t o drive "u ses an d g oin g t o

"ed wh en I 3m t o#d t o$5

Ch ri st in a g ives = riah a worried

#oo- $

2Hey ,5 I say $ 2< ou don 3t h ave t o

!om e, "u t I n eed t o g et ou t o' h ere$ I

n eed t o - n ow wh o Edi t h Prior was, an d


70/675

wh o3 s wai t in g ' or u s ou t side t h e ' en !e, i '

an y on e$ I don 3t - n ow wh y , "u t I n eed

t o$5

I t a- e a dee% "reat h $ I 3m n ot su re

wh ere t h at swe# # o' des%erat ion !am e

' rom , "u t n ow t h at I 3ve a!- n ow#edg ed i t ,

i t 3 s im %ossi"#e t o ig n ore, # i- e a # ivin g

t h in g h as awa- en ed ' rom a #on g s#ee%

in side m e$ I t wri t h es in m y st om a!h an d

t h roat $ I n eed t o #eave$ I n eed t h e t ru t h $

)or on !e, t h e wea- sm i #e %#ay in g

over = riah 3 s # i%s i s g on e$ 2*o do I ,5 h e

say s$

2O- ay ,5 Ch ri st in a say s$ Her dar-

ey es are st i # # t rou "#ed, "u t sh e sh ru g s$

2*o we g o t o t h e m eet in g $5

2Good$ Can on e o' y ou t e# # T o"ias4

I 3m su %%osed t o "e - ee%in g m y di st an !e,

sin !e we3re ?"ro- en u %,35 I say $ 27 et 3 s

m eet in t h e a# #ey at e#even t h i rt y $5

2I 3# # t e# # h im $ I t h in - I 3m in h i s g rou %

t oday ,5 = riah say s$ 27 earn in g a"ou t t h e

' a!t ories$ I !an 3t wai t $5 He sm i r- s$ 2Can

I t e# # > e- e, t oo4 Or i s h e n ot t ru stwort h y

en ou g h 45

2Go ah ead$ Ju st m a- e su re h e


71/675

doesn 3t s%read i t arou n d$5

I !h e!- m y wat !h ag ain $ Nin e ' i ' t een $

Ca#e"3 s verdi!t h as t o "e de!ided "y

n ow9 i t 3 s a#m ost t im e ' or every on e t o g o

#earn t h ei r ' a!t ion #ess 6o"s$ I ' ee# # i- e

t h e s# ig h t est t h in g !ou #d m a- e m e 6u m %

rig h t ou t o' m y s- in $ 1y - n ee "ou n !es o'

i t s own vo# i t ion $

Ch ri st in a %u t s h er h an d on m y

sh ou #der , "u t sh e doesn 3t as- m e a"ou t

i t , an d I 3m g rat e' u # $ I don 3t - n ow wh at I

wou #d say $

Ch ri st in a an d I weave a !om %# i!at ed

%at h t h rou g h Eru di t e h eadu art ers on ou r

way t o t h e "a!- st ai r!ase, avoidin g

%at ro# # in g ' a!t ion #ess$ I %u # # m y s#eeve

down over m y wri st $ I drew a m a% on

m y arm "e' ore I #e' t(I - n ow h ow t o g et

t o Can dor h eadu art ers ' rom h ere, "u t I

don 3t - n ow t h e side st reet s t h at wi # #

- ee% u s away ' rom %ry in g ' a!t ion #ess

ey es$

= riah wai t s ' or u s 6u st ou t side t h e

door $ He wears a# # "#a!- , "u t I !an see a

h in t o' A"n eg at ion g ray %ee- in g over t h e

!o# #ar o' h i s sweat sh i rt $ I t 3 s st ran g e t o


72/675

see m y Dau n t #ess ' rien ds in A"n eg at ion

!o#ors, as i ' t h ey 3ve "een wi t h m e m y

en t i re # i ' e$ *om et im es i t ' ee# s t h at way

an y way $

2I t o#d )ou r an d > e- e, "u t t h ey 3re

g oin g t o m eet u s t h ere,5 = riah say s$

27 et 3s g o$5

& e ru n in a %a!- down t h e a# #ey

t oward 1on roe *t reet $ I resi st t h e u rg e

t o win !e at ea!h o' ou r #ou d ' oot st e%s$

I t 3 s m ore im %ort an t t o "e u i!- t h an

si #en t at t h i s %oin t , an y way $ & e t u rn on t o

1on roe, an d I !h e!- "eh in d u s ' or

' a!t ion #ess %at ro# s$ I see dar- sh a%es

m ovin g !#oser t o 1i!h ig an A ven u e, "u t

t h ey di sa%%ear "eh in d t h e row o'

"u i #din g s wi t h ou t st o%%in g $

2&h ere3 s Cara45 I wh i s%er t o

Ch ri st in a, wh en we3re on *t at e *t reet

an d ' ar en ou g h away ' rom Eru di t e

h eadu art ers t h at i t 3s sa' e t o t a#- $

2I don 3t - n ow, I don 3t t h in - sh e g ot

an in vi t at ion ,5 Ch ri st in a say s$ 2&h i!h i s

rea# #y "i: arre$ I - n ow sh e wan t s t o(5

2*h h ; 5 = riah say s$ 2Ne+ t t u rn 45

I u se m y wat !h # ig h t t o see t h e words


73/675

wri t t en on m y arm $ 2Ran do#%h *t reet ; 5

& e set t #e in t o a rh y t h m , ou r sh oes

s#a%%in g on t h e %avem en t , ou r "reat h s

%u # sin g a#m ost in u n i son $ Des%i t e t h e

"u rn in m y m u s!#es, i t ' ee# s g ood t o ru n $

1y #eg s a!h e "y t h e t im e we rea!h

t h e "ridg e, "u t t h en I see t h e 1er!i #ess

1art a!ross t h e m arsh y river , a"an don ed

an d u n # i t , an d I sm i #e t h rou g h t h e %ain $

1y %a!e s#ows wh en I am a!ross t h e

"ridg e, an d = riah s# in g s an arm a!ross

m y sh ou #ders$

2An d n ow,5 h e say s, 2we g et t o wa#-

u % a m i # # ion ' # ig h t s o' st ai rs$5

21ay "e t h ey t u rn ed t h e e#evat ors

on 45

2Not a !h an !e$5 He sh a- es h i s h ead$

2I "et Eve#y n 3 s m on i t orin g a# # t h e

e#e!t ri!i t y u sag e(i t 3 s t h e "est way t o

' ig u re ou t i ' %eo%#e are m eet in g in

se!ret $5

I sig h $ I m ay # i- e t o ru n , "u t I h at e

!# im "in g st ai rs$

&h en we ' in a# #y rea!h t h e t o% o' t h e

st ai rs, ou r !h est s h eavin g , i t i s ' ive

m in u t es t o m idn ig h t $ Th e ot h ers g o ah ead


74/675

wh i #e I !at !h m y "reat h n ear t h e e#evat or

"an - $ = riah was rig h t(t h ere i sn 3t a

sin g #e # ig h t on t h at I !an see, a%art ' rom

t h e e+ i t sig n s$ I t i s in t h ei r "#u e g #ow t h at

I see T o"ias em erg e ' rom t h e

in t errog at ion room u % ah ead$

*in !e ou r dat e I h ave s%o- en t o h im

on #y in !overt m essag es$ I h ave t o resi st

t h e u rg e t o t h row m y se# ' at h im an d

"ru sh m y ' in g ers over t h e !u r# o' h i s # i%

an d t h e !rease in h i s !h ee- wh en h e

sm i #es an d t h e h ard # in e o' h i s ey e"row

an d 6aw$ .u t i t 3 s two m in u t es t o

m idn ig h t $ &e don 3t h ave an y t im e$

He wra%s h i s arm s arou n d m e an d

h o#ds m e t ig h t ' or a ' ew se!on ds$ Hi s

"reat h s t i!- #e m y ear , an d I !#ose m y

ey es, #et t in g m y se# ' ' in a# #y re#a+ $ He

sm e# # s # i- e win d an d sweat an d soa%,

# i- e To"ias an d # i- e sa' et y $

2*h ou #d we g o in 45 h e say s$

2&h oever t h ey are, t h ey 3re %ro"a"#y

%rom %t $5

2< es$5 1y #eg s are t rem "# in g ' rom

overe+ ert ion (I !an 3t im ag in e g oin g

down t h e st ai rs an d ru n n in g "a!- t o


75/675

Eru di t e h eadu art ers #at er$ 2Did y ou ' in d

ou t a"ou t Ca#e"45

He win !es$ 21ay "e we sh ou #d t a#-

a"ou t t h at #at er$5

Th at 3s a# # t h e an swer I n eed$

2Th ey 3re g oin g t o e+ e!u t e h im , aren 3t

t h ey ,5 I say so' t #y $

He n ods, an d t a- es m y h an d$ I don 3t

- n ow h ow t o ' ee# $ I t ry n ot t o ' ee#

an y t h in g $

T og et h er we wa#- in t o t h e room

wh ere T o"ias an d I were on !e

in t errog at ed u n der t h e in ' #u en !e o' t ru t h

ser um $ The %#a!e wher e you made your

!on'ession$

A !i r!#e o' # i t !an d#es i s arran g ed on

t h e ' #oor over on e o' t h e Can dor s!a#es

set in t o t h e t i #e$ Th ere i s a m i+ o'

' am i # iar an d u n ' am i # iar ' a!es in t h e

room 0 *u san an d Ro"ert st an d t og et h er ,

t a#- in g 9 Pet er i s a#on e on t h e side o' t h e

room , h i s arm s !rossed9 = riah an d > e- e

are wi t h T ori an d a ' ew ot h er Dau n t #ess9

Ch ri st in a i s wi t h h er m ot h er an d si st er9

an d in a !orn er are two n ervou s#oo- in g

Eru di t e$ New ou t ' i t s !an 3t erase t h e


76/675

divi sion s "etween u s9 t h ey are in g rain ed$

Ch ri st in a "e!- on s t o m e$ 2Th i s i s m y

m om , *t e%h an ie,5 sh e say s, in di!at in g a

wom an wi t h g ray st rea- s in h er dar-

!u r#y h ai r $ 2An d m y si st er , Rose$ 1om ,

Rose, t h i s i s m y ' rien d T ri s, an d m y

in i t iat ion in st ru !t or, )ou r$5

2O"viou s#y ,5 *t e%h an ie say s$ 2& e

saw t h ei r in t errog at ion s severa# wee- s

ag o, Ch ri st in a$5

2I - n ow t h at , I was 6u st "ein g

%o# i te(5

2Po# i t en ess i s de!e%t ion in (5

2


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h er $ At m y side, T o"ias st raig h t en s, h i s

m u s!#es t en sin g $ Ready ' or a ' ig h t , as

a#way s$

2I 6u st t h ou g h t we wou #d ai r

every t h in g ou t ,5 Rose say s$ 2I t wast es

#ess t im e$5

2An d y ou won der wh y I #e' t ou r

' a!t ion ,5 Ch ri st in a say s$ 2.ein g h on est

doesn 3t m ean y ou say wh at ever y ou

wan t , wh en ever y ou wan t $ I t m ean s t h at

wh at y ou !h oose t o say i s t ru e$5

2A # ie o' om i ssion i s st i # # a # ie$5

2< ou wan t t h e t ru t h 4 I 3m

u n !om ' ort a"#e an d don 3t wan t t o "e h ere

rig h t n ow$ I 3# # see y ou g u y s #at er $5 *h e

t a- es m y arm an d wa#- s T o"ias an d m e

away ' rom h er ' am i #y , sh a- in g h er h ead

t h e wh o#e t im e$ 2*orry a"ou t t h at $

Th ey 3re n ot rea# #y t h e ' org ivin g t y %e$5

2I t 3s ' in e,5 I say , t h ou g h i t 3s n ot $

I t h ou g h t t h at wh en I re!eived

Ch ri st in a3 s ' org iven ess, t h e h ard %art o'

& i # # 3 s deat h wou #d "e over $ .u t wh en

y ou - i # # som eon e y ou #ove, t h e h ard %art

i s n ever over $ I t 6u st g et s easier t o

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