It’s been a while since the last chapter, thanks to two rebuilds, one of which was necessitated by a complete switch from Mac to Windows. A lot of things look different now. We are going to say that it’s because of a big tornado that swept through town. Handwaving things: gotta love it!

I would like to apologize in advance for a slight problem I was having where sometimes Fraps would take screenshots and sometimes it wouldn’t. I did eventually figure that out and take duplicates with the in-game camera for every picture attempted to take with Fraps. However, this means that some households have not-very-many pictures, and some of the pictures are not-so-great.

This episode of Goldberg & Silent Lady was brought to you by the Timeless Office” set by JWoods, available at Mod The Sims.

The “Timeless Office” set contains such classic and useful pieces as a three-tile desk, two- and four-drawer file cabinets, a bookshelf, a rolling chair, a clock (right twice a day!) and a lovely picture (not pictured). (in the rapid undertone used by the very best used-car and pharmaceutical commercials) This set was pretty clearly created in 2005. JWoods is in no way aware of this endorsement.

And now let’s return to our story, which is Already in Progress…

As you probably remember, Abhijeet was a brujo in my old game even though I did not have Apartment Life. Instead, I had a custom magic system that would let him make potions and cast the occasional spell. Now that I have Apartment Life, he can be a brujo for realsies, but he can’t make any potions. I do like the animations for making reagents much better than I liked the animations for making potions, though.

Aaaaand I may or may not have kept him from getting in the carpool one morning just so I could see the “Fly To Work” animation. My one complaint with it is that he walks down to the mailbox before he takes off instead of using the nifty landing platform I built for him on the top floor of the house.

Abhijeet can and does still make potions with the shaman station converted from Castaway Stories – the Penguin Party potion is nothing short of hilarious, and love potions and elixir are always nice – but not in the rain.

I had no idea that the fire wouldn’t light in the rain, although it makes perfect sense once you think about it. The coding in these games never ceases to impress me, even after eight years of playing.

Cat is the same as ever, which means he is doing well and complaining about it.

CAT: Hey, genius! I can’t eat out of that bowl! You put it down facing the wrong way!

LEILA: It’s round. All the sides are the same. Just eat.

CAT: No, it’s wrong! I like eating with the fishy butts facing each other, not the fishy heads. It makes the kibble taste like fish butt.

LEILA: And that’s a good thing, is it?

CAT: It is when it’s the crap you buy. When are you going to start buying the good stuff? And are you gonna turn the bowl or not?

And Cat has ways of making his displeasure felt.

ABHIJEET: Would you know anything about what happened to the bed?

CAT: What bed?

ABHIJEET: The great big double bed that used to be right here, where there’s a pile of sawdust and springs and scraps of fabric.

CAT: Oh, the bed you kept shooing me off of just as I was getting comfy? (yawns in that wide-mouthed, long-backed, many-clawed way cats have) Not a clue. Let me know if you figure it out.

Fortunately, Leila has a very good job, so things like more expensive kibble and new beds are not really a problem. She even brought a co-worker home one evening, who turned out to be her boss’s cousin, and who offered to put in a good word for her.

Leila has two bolts with this coworker, the same as she has with Abhijeet.

LEILA: Oh, here’s my husband now! Abhijeet, come over here! There’s someone I’d like you to meet.

LEILA’S COWORKER: Pleased to meet you, Mr. Shankel.

ABHIJEET: Yeah, likewise. Listen (leans in and lowers his voice) right now, I’m a brujo* in the neutral sense of the term, okay? Mess with my wife, and any option of curandero** is coming right off the table. Got it?

*Brujo (BREW-hoe): A man who uses magic; either neutral or bad magic depending on context. Feminine: bruja.

**Curandero (coo-ron-DERE-Oh): A man who uses good magic only. Feminine: curandera. The difference between a brujo and a curandero appears to be a New World one, and somewhat fuzzy, although I am by no means a linguist, so take that with a pinch of salt.

LEILA: Did you have to threaten him?

ABHIJEET: I didn’t threaten him. I just –

LEILA: “Don’t mess with my wife” isn’t threatening? Esme, you’re worse than Cat!

ABHIJEET: No, I –

LEILA: I would never do anything behind your back. Don’t you trust me?

ABHIJEET: I do trust you. I just don’t trust him. And I don’t trust myself if he decided to try anything.

LEILA: …Well. No more threatening, okay? (sighs) I wish I could bribe you with fishy treats like I do Cat.

ABHIJEET: Yeah, fishy treats don’t really do it for me. But I do have something in my Want panel that seems to have locked itself, and that I could use a little help with…

LEILA: Is it blue and yellow? (as Abhijeet nods) What a coincidence! Let’s just see what we can do about that, shall we?

Note from esmeiolanthe: No lullaby this rotation. Sorry.

MURAKAME

See, there’s gotta be a pattern here. I just can’t see it. (beat) Silent Lady couldn’t make it?

GOLDBERG

She’s out for the week.

MURAKAME

The whole week? You’re not gonna make it.

GOLDBERG

I can take care of myself, thanks.

Skye might have only had two bolts with Dawson Seiff, and might have gone “Meh” every time she looked at him, but a little persistence was all that was needed for him to work his way into her heart…

Note from esmeiolanthe: Please ignore that I forgot to give Skye her custom hair back right away.

Into her bed…

And into her life.

What? I don’t write bed-hopping drama. If that’s what you’re looking for, boy oh boy have you come to the wrong place!

Of course, actions are not without consequences, and one of those consequences became readily apparent on the last day of the rotation.

Skye and Dawson had a nice little front-yard wedding, which was well-attended by family and friends.

Precisely zero of whom watched the actual ceremony, since this is purely a decorative arch with no actual wedding functions.

But everyone did show up in formalwear, and the party was a roof-raiser, so that’s all right.

Skye Shankel is now Skye Seiff.

And just for the record, Dawson is a cake-shover.

GOLDBERG yells in frustration as the coffee machine hisses and then shuts down with a dying whine.

GOLDBERG

All I want is a cup of coffee! Is that really too much to ask?

Things can change so quickly in this game, as in life. One moment, Amy was doing some simple gardening at the House of the Double A’s.

The next moment, she was gone.

Really just gone. The Grim Reaper didn’t show up, although Adam still wept for her.

After Amy’s death, Adam acquired a piano and played it more or less constantly. Half the time, he would turn the radio on, and then go to the piano and play something completely different.

Well, he rolled the Want for it – what was I supposed to do? Other than turn the radio off, I mean.

And then on the last night of the rotation, Adam left the piano, and walked into the bathroom.

GRIM REAPER: ..y ar. .ou i. ..e ..alle.. .oo. i. ..e .ou..? ..e gi… .a. to wai. ou..ide.

ADAM: Because it’s coded in: “ImportantLifeEvent=GOTO_Bathroom_true”

GRIM REAPER: O.. .ai. eno…. Co.. o., ..e..

Amy Littledragon, 69 years old. Amy was the second adopted child of Harkon and Nirel Littledragon, and she looked enough like her sister Samantha to have been a sister-by-blood, not just a sister-by-law-and-affection. Amy was a Popularity Sim who acted like a Knowledge Sim. In retrospect, I’m pretty sure she somehow managed to assign herself a secondary aspiration even though I didn’t have Free Time.

Adam (Santander) Littledragon, age unknown. Adam had the same personality on paper has his wife, but in practice, he was quite happy to putter about and do what he was told. It’s not exactly a surprise that he should have followed her lead about dying too.

Rest in peace, Amy and Adam.

NEIGHBOR

Well, I don’t know, y’know? He kept himself to himself. I can’t think why anyone would want to kill

him. What did his friends in that club say?

The tornado was pretty devastating to the Couderc family farm. Fortunately, Oliver and Oakapple were terrible pessimists and had taken out insurance for all possible hazards, up to and including a volcano erupting in the back yard. The insurance payout was more than enough to cover the purchase price of a new farm.

The original is called Turtle Pond Farm and was built by shastakiss. I have made my own modifications and renamed it “Oakapple Farm.”

It has a pond for fishing, although it is no longer in the shape of a turtle. (I had to redig it to make the fishing functions work right.)

It has a fairly sizeable garden plot and a greenhouse.

In the foreground, you can see some plants that don’t look like traditional EAxis plants. They are new garden crops made by Sun&Moon over at Plumb Bob Keep, and the are pretty awesome. I have asparagus, zucchini, yellow squash, carrots, pumpkins, watermelon, two varieties of onions, two varieties of potatoes, celery, and turnips.

Sun&Moon also provided the chickens, which produce eggs.

I am completely in love with their new crops and crafting stations and regularly stalk the thread where they post their new creations.

And the best part? They’re 100% safe to remove! The crops are cloned from the money tree (no custom foods!) and the chickens are cloned from roaches (no NPCs!), making everything about as safe as you can get.

Here you can see how nice everything looks when it is ready to harvest. Isn’t it lovely?

Originally, I wanted to redo the farmstand with these nifty “farmer’s markets” crates by keonichan. Because you have to admit: they are nifty.

Unfortunately, they also completely blocked my view of the produce, and I like seeing all the produce lined up on the tables. It give me a completely undeserved sense of accomplishment. So I swapped out for the good ol’ invisible magisplay recolor I used to use, and I think the result looks very nice.

Now, I know you don’t read this story for my mad landscaping skillz or for advertisements of custom content. You read it for updates about your second-favorite sims.* But aside from farming and fishing and a bit of baking, the only event of note was that Chant aged up.

*After your own, of course.

As you may have noticed, Chant’s mustache and goatee don’t work as well when they’re white. Chant is now clean-shaven, but otherwise looks the same.

And that’s me out of pictures, which must mean that it’s time to move on.

GOLDBERG is typing, laboriously, with two fingers, speaking what he is typing out loud as he types it. (This sounds unnaturally slow and is in quotes.) When not typing, he peers at the screen and comments at normal speed, backspacing rapidly as needed.

GOLDBERG

“Dear Sir or Madam.” Pixel! “Or Madam. I came across.” No, there’s no L. “Across your website.”

Esme corrupt it! “Across your website and.” Corrupt it! How the system crash does she do it?

As you may or may not remember (given that the last update was damn near a year ago), Penny has headed off to college, where she is settling in nicely.

Don’t worry, there will be a college chapter to get you caught up on her.

Penny is not so sure about her parents, though.

PENELOPE: Mom, what on earth is going on with you?

JOSEPHINE (V.O.): How do you mean?

PENELOPE (V.O.): I mean that I’ve heard that you leave the house at like four in the morning in your bathing suit!

JOSEPHINE (V.O.): Oh, yeah. That’s for work.

PENELOPE (V.O.): What kind of job requires you to leave the house at four in the morning wearing a bathing suit?

JOSEPHINE (V.O.): Fish chummer.

PENELOPE (V.O.): What?

JOSEPHINE (V.O.): Fish chummer. I work at the aquarium and I turn fish into chum. For the sharks.

PENELOPE (V.O.): What kind of a job is that?

JOSEPHINE (V.O.): One that’s better than staring out the window all day. Sure, it’s a bit smelly, but the bathing suit makes it easy to clean up after.

PENELOPE (V.O.): But do you have to wear it to work from home? Don’t they have locker rooms at work?

JOSEPHINE (V.O.): Sure they do. Have you ever seen them?

PENELOPE (V.O.): No.

JOSEPHINE (V.O.): And trust me, you don’t want to. They’re pretty horrible.

PENELOPE (V.O.): But really – fish chumming?

JOSEPHINE (V.O.): The new place is very small. There’s really isn’t but so much cleaning to do every day, and sitting around watching TV is not my idea of a good time.

PENELOPE (V.O.): Well, there’s the piano?

JOSEPHINE (V.O.): Oh, sure, and I play a lot. So does your father, when he’s home. He’s getting very good at it, and improving his sight reading tremendously. That’s important for a professional party guest, you know, being able to sit down and play when asked, anything you’re asked to play. But I can’t play the piano all day every day either. Hence the fish chumming.

PENELOPE (V.O.): But –

JOSEPHINE (V.O.): So, have you met anybody nice yet? When am I going to get some grandchildren?

PENELOPE (V.O.): Oh wow, is that the time? I have got to get to class, Mom. Sorry. Love you! (hangs up)

GOLDBERG

There’s got to be something that I’m missing...

Due to the massive tornado that ripped through town, Frederic and family had to relocate to a new house. It’s a much bigger house, which is vital, because that way they each have their own computer plus they have a giant TV for gaming, which is as it should be.

Frederic had all three days off this rotation, and needed to boost his Creativity for promotion, so he spent the time writing a cooking murder mystery* and not wearing actual clothing. Pajama pants are good enough, right?

*This is a real genre. Authors in this genre include Tamar Myers and Paige Shelton.

Helen helped me test a community lot I had built. One of the cash registers needs to be moved for maximum playability and the greeting cards are actually buyable now that I’ve displayed them on a counter rather than on the OFB shelves.

Helen attempted to impress one of the local teenage boys who was at the post office, but he did not appreciate the noogie.

Isaac helped me test a different lot, one with multiple shops on it. I am pleased to report that the Burger Knight is working just fine.

So is the coffee shop, although I question the advisability of allowing zombies to work in the food service industry.

The open mic theater above the coffee shop works great too, although I do have to go in and add some ceiling tiles over the stage. Whoops!

And to my very great pleasure, the bank works perfectly. Money trees are harvestable and the counterfeiting machines are accessible, and there are no tellers on duty when you want one, just like at a real bank.

Helen approves of the newly functional playground equipment at the pool-and-playground lot that has been waiting patiently for said equipment to drop into place since two or three months before Apartment Life was released in the first place.

I can be a good planner when I want to be. Let’s just not talk about my housekeeping skills…

MURAKAME

You miss her, don’t you. For more than the coffee and the typing.

GOLDBERG

I – You – We – It’s not like that. We have a business relationship. There’s nothing else going

on.

MURAKAME

Yeah, but don’t you wish there was?

When this rotation started (or slightly before, if you want to get technical), Mickey Grew Up just a teeny bit earlier than planned, since you can’t extract Babies, only Toddlers.

As advertised in the RTM part of the custom baby hair download, he lost the back of his head.

Also as advertised in the RTM, a quick trip to the mirror fixed that right up, and Mickey was back to 100% cuteness in no time, thanks to a little help from big brother Alexander.

Interesting note: Mickey is the first Sim I ever extracted and cloned all by myself. He’s available for adoption on my LJ, along with most of the rest of my Sims.

Then the tornado ripped through town, damaging the family home.

Fortunately, the family had very good insurance, complete with coverage for extended living expenses,* and they were able to be placed in a new temporary home quickly.

ROSE: I don’t like it. It’s too small.

DMITRI: It’s not that bad.

ROSE: It’s way too small. We need to get back into our home.

*“Extended living expenses” is a part of an insurance policy that means that the insurance company will put you up in a hotel or a temporary rental if you can’t stay in your home due to it needing repairs. They’re only a little bit extra a month, and you should totally look into adding them if you don’t have them already.

DMITRI (V.O.) I really don’t think it’s that bad. It’s cozy. Alex can do his homework with us now, instead of on a different floor. We can all be near each other instead of so spread out.

DMITRI (V.O.): I think Mickey likes being able to go everywhere without gates. And I know Ivan loves having more chances to interact with Mickey.

IVAN: Where’s Mickey? Where’d he go? Oh no, I lost Mickey! What will Mommy and Daddy say?

MIKHAIL: Beeapoo! (chortles)

DMITRI (V.O.): Sure, we’ve had to be a little creative with the beds, but we can fit three in the second bedroom. It’s not like there’s no room to breathe or anything.

ROSE (V.O.): You don’t understand. This place is way too small. We need to be back in our own home soon. Can’t you please get on the workmen to work faster?

DMITRI (V.O.): I can call tomorrow, but what’s the rush?

DMITRI: Oh.

DMITRI: I’ll call right now, how about that?

The temporary housing is one of joandsarah77’s tiny Council Housing lots, and it really does work quite well for a family of five. I thoroughly enjoyed playing it! But for a family of six, well…

GOLDBERG

I have the answer!

MURAKAME

And you’re going to tell me whodunit in a big dramatic reveal?

GOLDBERG

Well, not now that you’ve ruined it.

MURAKAME

Just give me the name to fill in on the warrant. You can give me the big reveal in the car over.

Catherynne and family were also affected by the tornado, and have also moved into temporary housing provided by their insurance company. The house is pretty cramped. (I personally suspect that the houses were built by a friend of the insurance agent.)

PROFESSOR DOUGLAS: Hel-loooo! I’m ho-ome!

PROFESSOR DOUGLAS: …Doesn’t anybody want to come greet me?

Chanes are that nobody even heard him, because pretty well all four kids have Popularity as one aspiration or another, and they all brought home friends. The house was so full of Teens, there wasn’t even room to swing a cat.*

Catherynne loved it.

*Assuming the cat would let you, of course. They tend to not enjoy that sort of thing.

I was rather chuffed myself, since this young lady needs help with a Plot, and she’s related to most of the young people in town.

I really need to generate some townies…

Anyway, three out of the four Teens that Casilda is not related to are in this house, and she had more bolts with Dongsool than with Lavinia, so I set him to work being agreeable.

He didn’t seem to mind.

Professor Douglas came home and went straight into the bathroom, where he just stood, staring vacantly at the shower. I was starting to wonder if something had gone wrong when he Grew Up into this atrocity.

Professor Douglas is a very smart man.

I used the shop-at-home coat rack to give him a better outfit before he was subjected to the ridicule of teenagers.

Once most of the teenagers had left, Catherynne and Professor Douglas taught Trudy, Lavinia, and Dongsool to study again. (This is a skill they had pre-tornado, but I’m not comfortable enough with SimPE to restore it artificially.)

Paul didn’t get tutoring help from his (adoptive) parents because it got too late, so he asked his girlfriend Georgiana for help instead.

Or, well, he’d like for her to be his girlfriend. Nothing’s official. Yet.

Under the watchful eye of Catherynne, all Paul and Georgiana did was study.

Of course, “watchful” is not the same as “insensitive,” so Paul and Georgianna were able to say goodbye properly.

Georgiana comes from my reality show, 100 Days of Awesome. It’s available on my LiveJournal – you should read it. [/shameless self-promotion]

Because the house is very small, and because I haven’t got any cc bunk beds, there aren’t enough beds to go round. I decided the only fair way to determine who gets to sleep in a bed was rock-paper-scissors. Lavinia lost three times in a row, so she ended up on the couch.

At the end of the rotation, Dongsool headed off to university with a solid set of scholarships under his belt:

Bain-Gordon Communications Fellowship

Sim City Scholars Grant

Quigley Visual Arts Stipend

Young Entrepreneurs Award

Admittedly, he’s something of a genius and came to the household with a fair hand of skills already. Obviously, he’s ready to take on the college.

GOLDBERG surveys the office, now, put back to rights. The camera pans from the waiting area to the files to SILENT LADY’S desk (empty) to the cabinets, to SILENT LADY herself, holding a fresh cup of coffee. GOLDBERG drops his things and grabs her in a fierce-yet-non-sexual hug. SILENT LADY’S eyes go wide and she maneuvers the mug out of the way just in time.

GOLDBERG

Never leave again!

Hi Sally! How’s it going? You’ve taken up painting again, I see.

SALLY: Yup. I always liked it as a kid, and once I came across these adorable little easel sets at the store, I knew I had to take it up again. Isn’t it a sweet little easel?

Yes, very nice. What else is new?

SALLY (V.O.): Well, somebody’s been kicking over our trashcan pretty regularly.

Wow, that’s not good! Do you know who it is?

SALLY (V.O.): Nope, no idea. Troy says we should get a sentrybot, but I don’t want to.They give people shocks! I don’t want to hurt anybody! Shocks are mean.

But they’re kicking over your trash. That can cause roaches and disease.

SALLY (V.O.): I know, But it’s still mean! Troy can clean it up without hurting anybody.

SALLY (V.O.): Troy always cleans everything up. He’s such a neatnik – forever cleaning everything, even when it doesn’t need cleaning!*

*Sally has one whole Neat point.

SALLY (V.O.): Troy has been working out even more than usual lately. He says it’s for when he catches up with whoever’s kicking over the trash can. (confidingly) I think that’s he’s planning to tickle them until they pee.

You think?

SALLY( V.O.): Oh yes! Anything else wouldn’t be very nice.

SALLY (V.O.): And Troy is a nice man. Very sweet. Do you know, Tamara bought us cell phones – for emergencies and things – and now Troy sends me sweet little texts all the time, even when he’s just in the other room. (phone chimes) Oh, there’s one now!

SALLY: Sorry, I just have to send him a reply…

Well, I’ll just leave you to it, shall I?

SALLY (distractedly): Uh-huh.

Sally’s painting is courtesy of AnoeskaB’s easel add-ons made shiftable by Honeywell. I have coveted these for so long, and I am very excited to be able to use them now that I have Free Time.

Sally and Troy’s text messaging comes courtesy of Chris Hatch at Back Alley Sims. It’s supposed to be simple activation of Eaxis code, and Mr. Hatch’s mods are generally stable, but I would like to test it a bit more before I recommend it, since I saw a report in Hood Checker that I’m not sure of the cause.

Until next time, Happy Simming!

The Grim Reaper’s lines, in order:

Why are you in the smallest room in the house? The girls had to wait outside.

Oh. Fair enough. Come on, then.

The Goldberg and Silent Lady sections used a lot of custom content and poseboxes. All custom content is from Mod The Sims unless otherwise indicated. In addition to the items advertised at the beginning and content advertised in other episodes, I used:

Long drapes and recolors by KiaraRawks

“Hacked Coat Hook” by Mary-Lou and Numenor

“Custom Modeling Poses Hack V2 w/Facial Overlays” by decorgal21572

SimBlender by TwoJeffs, from Simbology

Prop hack and accessories by Decorgal and Adele (a two-download set)

3t2 police station décor by delonariel/Tethys, from their LJ