am i really alive after all

© 2012 REPRODUCTION OF THIS MATERIAL IS SOLELY BY CONSENT OF AUTHOR.

(Preview)

My Amazing

PIP & Company

The biographical account of one person’s trauma recovery achieved through the gifts of love and unconditional high regard shared with canine friends.

( iBook publication in progress )


The Lived Experience of Trauma and

Recovery from Self Destruction

AM I REALLY ALIVE AFTER ALL?


I CAN’T SEE IT, I DON’T KNOW WHERE IT’S COMING FROM AND

I CAN’T CONTROL IT!

Authored and Presented by CHRIS CAVALIERE © 2012

WHAT IS THIS PAIN INSIDE MY MIND?


Dynamics of Self Harm

Trauma Coping Adaptations

Seeking Control

Reliance and Fear

Freedom in Recovery


WHY DO PEOPLE SELF HARM ? • Are these self destructive acts suicidal?

• Why would a person be attacking their body with sharp objects, cigarettes, baseball bats, hammers, curling irons, drills etc.?

• Why are some people prone to self harmful tendencies such as substance abuse, sexual obsessions, excessive spending, gambling, wealth obsessions etc.?

• Are they looking for sympathy, attention, are they irresponsible, or are they suffering from the effects of trauma?


Who Self Injures?


713,000 TREATED IN THE ER ( US 2010 )

• 4% OF THE US POPULATION HAVE SELF INJURED

• 1% OF THOSE DO CHRONIC OR SEVERE SELF INJURY USING IT TO COPE WITH EMOTIONAL AND SITUATIONAL DISTRESS

• THE AVERAGE ONSET IS 12 TO 14 YEARS OLD, THOUGH THE RATE AMONG YOUNG CHILDREN IS INCREASEING TO AS EARLY AS 5 TO 7 YEARS OLD

• SELF INJURY IS PRACTICED BY PEOPLE WITH VARIOUS MENTAL DIAGNOSIS AND SOME WITH NO MENTAL ILLNESS DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA

AN IMPORTANT STATISTIC


90% OF THOSE DIAGNOSED WITH MENTAL ILLNESS REPORT A HISTORY OF TRAUMA, PHYSICAL AND/OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE, WHICH INCLUDES “CARE” ABUSE.

THE ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EVENTS STUDY SHOWED THAT 60% OF THOSE TESTED HAD A SCORE OF AT LEAST ONE EVENT.

WHAT IS THE FIRST LOSS IN A TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE?


A WAY TO AVOID THE ANGUISH


• When the emotional pain became too agonizing, and death wasn’t an option anymore.

• There I stood with a knife in my hand too afraid to die when I drew the blade across my arm and suddenly I was relieved of the agony.

• It grew into a ritual of release and sanity returned for a short time, but with each new scar another danger grew.

• Could I ever stop, was this going to kill me, and why was I doing this to myself?


A CRY FOR HELP, NOT ATTENTION

I am lonely I am not here I am afraid

I am full of emotion

I am unable to feel


THE DYNAMICS OF SELF HARM FIVE STAGES TO ACTION

AN EMOTION – can feel agonizing

A THOUGHT – becomes invasive, yet will eventually pass

AN URGE – can be mild or extremely intense

AN INTENTION – becomes a plan which may or may not be acted upon

AN ACTION – temporarily stops the agony, can unintentionally cause death


A release of mental anguish-

Bleeding

A ritual of self care-

Bandages

Caring from others-

Hospital

Scars –

A Hidden Symbol of Pain

TRAUMA ADAPTATIONS, NOT PSYCHOTIC SYMPTOMS“ IT’S LIKE RELEASING A PRESSURE VALVE ”


THE FEAR OF LOSING YOUR MIND


THE RELIANCE ON SELF HARM PRACTICES• An Immediate Relief from Distress

• Tolerance that escalates creating Dangerous Risk Taking

• A Familiar Loss of Control that seems like a Gain of Control

• How is this Relative to Trauma?


NEW DEFINITIONS OF TRAUMA Commonly trauma has been defined as the effect of experiencing an event where one’s

life is violently threatened.

We take this further as we acknowledge that when control of one’s life is taken away, the the result can be trauma.

Trauma occurs when one is subjected to stressful situations that threaten to overwhelm one’s coping resources.

Traumatic events so widely vary, we sometimes forget the impact so many different events can make on a person’s coping abilities.

The First Loss of Trauma is the Loss of Control, where one’s Inherent Right to Choose is taken away in a manner that threatens one’s WELL BEING.


SELF HARMFUL BEHAVIORS ARE NORMAL REACTIONS TO ABNORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES, AND AS SUCH ARE AN ATTEMPT TO ADAPT TO EXTREME DURESS.


EMOTIONAL EFFECTS OF TRAUMA

LOSS OF TRUST

LOSS OF MEANING

LOSS OF REASON

UNFOUNDED GUILT AND

SHAME

JUSTIFIED ANGER, OFTEN MISDIRECTED


TRAUMA’S PHYSICAL MANIFESTATIONS• Trauma is hidden in the body as a deeply rooted neurological system disruption that

causes an individual to be wrenched from a heightened sensitivity to total mental exhaustion.

• This disruption leaves an individual susceptible to physical illnesses, from irritable bowel syndrome to heart disease and certain cancers.

Trauma is a mind body experience, and as such needs not only the attention given to mental distress, but the bolstering of the physical aspect through nutrition, body exercise, deep meditation and touch technique practices that offer calming for bodily stress retention.


THE INDIVIDUAL EXPERIENCE IS ISOLATING,EVEN THOUGH AS A HUMAN EXPERIENCE IT IS AN EXTREMELY COMMON OCCURRENCE OF LIFE.


LIVING OUTSIDE THE EDGE OF CONTROL


REASONABLE QUESTIONS

• Is there a relation here that tells us that self destructiveness is a familiar pattern relative to the experience of loss of control from trauma?

• Does the person who falls into substance abuse, self injury, sexual obsessions and other forms of self harmful tendencies seem to be showing us that this is their familiar?

• Are these individuals not expressing a need to have the effects of trauma acknowledged and relieved in order to begin to heal?


THE FAMILIAR LOSS OF CONTROL• These adaptations are very effective in temporarily controlling distress.

• While effective for the moment the lasting affects tend to send our lives out of control.

• They often hinder our ability to get services and crush our hopes to pursue a fulfilling life.

• This then reflects the familiar loss of control we first experienced from the traumatic events in our lives.

• When this level of clarity is brought forward, people are more able to make better informed decisions about their futures.


When self harm is compounded by the care system’s lack of

an in depth understanding of trauma.

RE - TRAUMATIZATION


Take care in what you do and say, it can echo in a person’s mind who has suffered horrific harm, and do them further harm that you couldn’t begin to imagine.


How does one move forward from the effects of trauma and self destruction to

create a life worth living?

HOW DOES IT STOP?


A GRAND NEW LIFE IN RECOVERY


STEPS IN MOVING FORWARD . . . . GAINING CLARITY, TRUTH AND VALIDATION

This translates into having anger and fear acknowledged as a valid response to trauma, while also accepting that shame and guilt does not belong to you.

• RECOGNIZING TRAUMA HYPERSENSITIVITY

• USING EXPRESSIVE THERAPY

• HANDING OVER THE TRAUMA

• LETTING GO OF ANGER, SHAME AND GUILT


. . . FORWARD• PRACTICING SELF SOOTHING

• PRACTICING CREATIVLY LETTING GO

• LETTING GO OF NEGATIVE INFLUENCES

• DEVELOPING ALTERNATIVE STRATIGIES

• PRACTICING FORGIVENESS FOR

YOURSELF AND OTHERS


. . . FORWARD.• PRACTICING RADICAL ACCEPTANCE, WHILE NOT ACCEPTING WRONG DOING

• REGAINING A SENSE OF SELF WORTH

• BELIEVING IN ONESELF AND POSITIVE POSSIBILITIES

• MEETING OTHERS IN RECOVERY

• BEING SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE WHO BELIEVE IN YOU AND YOUR RECOVERY PATH


• Chain of Events

• Thinking it Through

• Working a Time Line

• Staying Present

• Distractions

• Half Smile

• Focus on Positives

• Creating Positives

• Living in Wisdom

• Following a Plan

• Choice of Community Support and Involvement with Others

• Exercise for Mind and Body

• Nutritional Support

• Developing Spiritual Practices

• Finding a Sense of Meaning in Being

• Exercising the “Right” to Have a Healthy, Safe and Secure Place

• Seeking Purposeful Pursuits

• Creating a Personal Vision and Making It Happen

PRACTICING WELLNESS


HOW DOES ONE KNOW WHEN THEY ARE READY TO GIVE UP THESE ADAPTATIONS AND BEGIN TO HEAL?

• I have a solid support system of people I can call if I am thinking of doing self harm.

• There are at least 3 people I can call anytime if I get urges to self harm.

• I feel comfortable talking about self harm and trauma with at least one person.

• I have a list of 10 things I can do instead of doing self harm.

• I have a place to go if I need to leave a risky environment so I don’t do self harm.

• I feel confident that I can get rid of the things that I harm myself with and not acquire more.

• I can make a commitment to myself that I am going to stop harming myself.

• I am willing to feel uncomfortable feelings and do anything healthy to help them pass.

• I would do anything I need to do to stop harming myself.

• I am ready to embrace change and create positives in my life.


HELPFUL APPROACHES TO HEALING Trauma Informed Care Community Service Systems

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

Wellness Recovery Action Plan

Facing Forward

Additional Therapeutic and Peer Supported Programs


PRACTICING TRAUMA INFORMED CARE AND BECOMING TRAUMA AWARE Get your organization administrators to commit to implementing the entire Trauma

Informed Care manual for Mental Health Programing, from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services governing agency, SAMHSA’s TIP 57.

Get your community organizations such as civic and cultural groups, churches, schools, and other government service agencies to learn to become trauma aware and trauma sensitive by accessing programs at SAMHSA ‘s National Institute on Trauma Informed Care and other leading trauma awareness programs like ACES on High, or research additional sources on the internet.

Expect that anyone you come into contact with is likely to have experienced one or more potentially traumatic events, while never assuming to understand what their experience is like until you ask with care, and without judgement.


DBTDIALECTICAL BEHAVIORAL THERAPY

Developed by Marsha Linehan

• Mindfulness

• Interpersonal Relationships

• Emotion Regulation

• Distress Tolerance


Wise mind

Emotional mind

Reasonable mind


TO DECREAESE

Confusion about thoughts and feelings

Chaos in relationships

Impulsiveness and anxiety

Unpredictably changing moods and emotions

TO INCREASE

Learning to be in the moment

Finding balance in relationships

Regulating emotional responses

Recognizing the importance of simple acceptance

DBT - GOAL OF SKILLS TRAINING


THE WELLNESS RECOVERY ACTION PLAN

Developed by Mary Ellen Copeland

W R A P

KEY CONCEPTS OF RECOVERY


HOPE PERSONAL RESPONSABILITY

EDUCATION SELF ADVOCACY

SUPPORT


THE 7 PARTS OF WRAP • The Wellness Toolbox

• The Daily Maintenance Plan

• Triggers & Action Plan

• Early Warning Signs & Action Plan

• When Things are Getting Worse & Action Plan

• The Crisis Plan

• The Post Crisis Plan


HOW WE SEE PEOPLE IN WRAP WRAP is a self determined plan by which one can develop a greater sense of self awareness and resiliency for a life of many possibilities.

WRAP is very much a plan of choices in actions that can help a person develop a plan of action for a recovery that can be lasting, satisfying and complete.

WRAP is best presented within a group setting of people of like experience who are able to relate on an equal level where there is no higharchy, only peers, where both participants and facilitators bring their individual expertise to the table.

WRAP is practiced with a set of values and ethics that hold each individual in unconditional high regard, leaving no one behind, nor setting anyone ahead of the rest.


FACING FORWARDIs a trauma recovery, peer facilitated workshop that seeks to aid individuals to successfully move forward in the grieving process of traumatic stress. By coming to understand the mind body connection relative to the affects of trauma and utilizing simple, safe and doable practices to relieve traumatic stress, we CAN heal together.

Developed by Chris Cavaliere

[email protected]

IN FACING FORWARD WE ACKNOWLEDGE THAT TRAUMA RECOVERY IS A GRIEVING PROCESS


DenialEvasionAvoidance• It never happened• It wasn’t anything• I don’t want to

think about it

AngerFearShameGuilt• Why did it happen

to me• What if it happens

again• I’m defective• It was my fault

AcceptanceForgivenessLetting Go• It happened and

took away my control

• It wasn’t me• It’s passed, I

understand, and I can move forward in my life now


WHEN WE SHARE IT WITH EACH OTHER, WE MELT THE ICE OF TRAUMA’S ISOLATION


ADDITIONAL THERAPIES

CBT – Was originally developed to aid veterans experiencing PTSD which takes an approach called exposure and integration. Later some of it’s theories were integrated into other therapies offered for various mental health challenges.

EMDR – Is a trauma therapy which involves induced rapid eye movements, a means thought to bring right, left brain balance, while also engaging exposure techniques.

Most recently there have been successful approaches to traumatic stress relief for war veterans using ancient meditative practices such as transcendental meditation. There are many different ways one can recover, as even though traumatic stress is common, each of us are very unique individuals. What works for one, is not necessarily what will work for another.


ADDITIONAL PEER PROGRAMS Intentional Peer Support - an approach developed by Sherry Mead of being together

in like experience, to support each other as equal participants in life, offering mutual trust and commitment to sharing wellness.

e-CPR - a mental health crisis response approach that was developed by the National Empowerment Center people who have an understanding of what can be most helpful, derived from being in the position of that

need themselves, who are by nature and study trauma aware.

Hearing Voices Network Support Groups - originating in the UK from knowledge of trauma and the direct understanding of hearing voices themselves, this group developed a dynamic process to bring sense to this common experience of voice hearing as they explore it’s origins as a community.

Open Dialogue – a venue of therapeutic listening that is founded on the acceptance of experiential affect, as apposed to the symptomology of genetic disease.


Aces on High

Center for Disease Control

Wikipedia.org

Samhsa’s Nat. Center for Trauma Informed Care

Sidran Institute

Dialectical Behavioral

Therapy

Intentional Peer Support

Self injury.net

Healing self injury.org

Syke.com

Mental Health Recovery.com

The Icarus Project

RESOURCES AND REFERENCES

PEER SOURCES ADDITIONAL SOURCES


BELIEVE YOU CAN HEAL, AND IT IS POSSIBLE

am i really alive after all

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