101

Well, this is it, Pistol. Our last battle.You scared?

You wish.

Lemme ask you something, though.

Why are you doing this, Rifle?

C’mon, Pistol. You know world domination has

always been my dream!

Dammit, Rifle! That’s not you! That’s the

demon seed talking! Fight back!

Fight it? Why would I do that? The demon seed has given me powers beyond

human or panda understanding.

I’m stronger than any man or panda who has

ever lived!What you’re doing is wrong!

What I’m doing will preserve the

advancement of our world.

Do you honestly believe that?

Of course. What I’m doing will lead…to a

revolution!

It’s too late for you, brother.

I have no choice but to stop this madness before it destroys everyone else.

Yes…You will try.

Created By:Julian McNeill

This world is inhabited by people called

Adventurers!

To some people, Adventurers are

heroes. Others use them for chores.

Myself…

Chores?

I study Adventurers as a profession.

So, what is your name?

Ash. I mean Pistol!Right! So your name

is Pistol!

This is my grandson. He’s been your rival

since you were a baby.? …Erm, what was his

name again?

Douche McTurd.

That’s right! I remember now! His

name is Rifle!

Pistol!

What?!Your very own legend

as an Adventurer is about to unfold!

A world of dreams and poon, with other Adventurers, awaits!

Let’s go!

Alright! I’m 20, healthy, and feeling adventurous! Time

to go prove my heroism to this

town!

Ah, here comes a senior citizen. No doubt in need of

assistance!

Excuse me, miss. I’m a young, eager

Adventurer. Would you happen to have any tasks which I can

partake for you?

Tasks? Why yes, I believe I do.

Excellent, and what may that

be?

Shall I slay a certain number of

something? Retrieve something miles

away? Escort you to a destination?

Would you mind hanging my

linens on the clothesline?

…Ah yes…chores.

Yes, and afterwards I have

another few assignments for

you.

Okay, Madam. I have hung your linens on

the clothesline, picked up fresh

groceries from the market and stored them away, swept

the kitchen, mopped the floors, dusted the knick-knacks, mowed

the lawn, trimmed the shrubberies…

Washed the car, washed the truck, washed the house,

washed the dog, washed the cats, washed the cows, washed the sheep, sheared the sheep, washed the shears,

washed the washing machine, bought a

new washing machine…

Picked up your children from school, did your taxes, hired

a divorce lawyer, constructed that

bench your sitting on, made a movie

further explaining my tasks, made a movie

that I’m not too proud of, solved world hunger…

Editor’s Note: The word “outlandish” comes to

mind…

And picked up your insulin shots from the

pharmacy!

Well, that sounds like almost everything.

How about a little rest before you go write

my memoirs?

Well, that was a bust!

Hellooooooo…

Hello there, miss. You look like you

could use a good-- Back off, you pervert!

Son of a bitch!

My eyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeess

ssssss!

Stranger danger!

Okay, I’m getting pretty pissed off

now

How hard is it to do a goddamn

quest for someone or get into a

goddamn guild?!

What’s this?

What about Mercutio? He just got back from a assignment the other

day, right?

Mercutio has become a spineless coward since the incident with the rock. He would not

undertake such a task.

And Yahiko? Yahiko would definitely take

the mission.Yahiko has already tried…and failed.

…My god…Umm, hey there.

I couldn’t help but overhear your

conversation. Sounds to me like you gentlemen need a task completed.

Pistol Belpois. Adventurer.

It would do you good not to meddle

into the affairs of others, Monsieur

Belpois.But I have the skills you two

need!

Please! We are high-ranked

mercenaries from the Assassin’s Guild.

Please, sir. I have been running around town doing common chores instead of working on a heroic reputation.

Why don’t you come to our

lodgings, Monsieur Belpois.

Now, Monseiur Belpois. We feel it best to warn you right now that the

target in question is very dangerous. Many

assassins in our guild have lost their lives.

Well, I do love a challenge!

Very well. Here is a photo of the

target.

Is something wrong?

Not exactly…

But I do personally know the target…