c2c:workplace communication and influence -...
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C2C:Workplace Communication and Influence
O H D C C T e a c h e r s C o l l e g e , C o l u m b i a U n i v e r s i t y
What do effective communicators do? How do they keep your attention?
Effective vs. Ineffective Communicators – Part I
Effective vs. Ineffective Communicators – Part II
What do ineffective communicators do? How do they lose your attention?
The Three Elements of Communication
You Message
Content and benefits of
the message
Credibility Self-confidence
Presence
The Three Elements of Communication
You Your Audience
Message
Content and benefits of
the message
Your ability to diagnose others, empathize and
adjust
Credibility Self-confidence
Presence
Not Known To You
Public Life
Secrets
Blind Spots
Unconscious
Known To You
Unknown By Others
Known to Others
Johari Window
Culture
Socio-economic Status Gender
Education
Life Experience
Thinking Preferences
Worldview
Our Worldview
Culture
Socio-economic Status Gender
Education
Life Experience
Thinking Preferences
Worldview
Let’s consider one of these lenses….
Lef t Hemisphere Sequential Analytical
Verbal Logical
Looks at Parts
Preferences: Counting / Measuring
Present and Past Grammar
R ight Hemisphere Simultaneous
Holistic Imagistic Intuitive
Looks at Wholes
Preferences: Shapes / Motion
Present and Future Intonation / Emphasis
Left Side vs. Right Side
What are Brain Preferences?
Brain Preferences reflect the extent to which an individual prefers certain types of thinking / mental processes over other types of thinking / mental preferences.
Brain Preferences do not equal skills. We might have highly developed skills outside our brain preferences.
Curious Imaginative Visionary
Risk Taker Creative Intuitive
Simultaneous Challenges Status Quo Big Picture
Empathizer & Socializer
Strategist & Imaginer
Organizer & Preserver
Realist & Analyst
Clear Realistic Logical
Performance Goals Bottom-line
Concrete Rational Objective
Orderly Reliable Neat
Organized Systematic Methodical
Punctual Detail-Oriented Habitual
Sociable Approachable Perceptive
Expressive Relational Supportive
Harmony Affectionate Loyal
Brain Preferences – The Model
R2 L2
R1
Curious Imaginative Visionary
Risk Taker Creative Intuitive
Simultaneous Challenges Status Quo Big Picture
Empathizer & Socializer
Strategist & Imaginer
Organizer & Preserver
Realist & Analyst
Clear Realistic Logical
Performance Goals Bottom-line
Concrete Rational Objective
Orderly Reliable Neat
Organized Systematic Methodical
Punctual Detail-Oriented Habitual
Sociable Approachable Perceptive
Expressive Relational Supportive
Harmony Affectionate Loyal
Brain Preferences – Qualities that Define Each Quadrant
Properties of L1
What is the point?
What does this mean?
What is the objective?
In accordance with planned objectives/ goals
Based upon accurate information and data
Definitively
Performance
Sensible rationale
Succinct information (data/ facts)
Liking to be right
Liking things to be clear
Drawing conclusions
Clear / Sensible / Accurate
Coherent / Calculating / Probing
Goals
Performance
Bottom-line
Usually Asks Values Oriented Towards
Decision Preference Known For Communication Preference
R2 L2
Curious Imaginative Visionary
Risk Taker Creative Intuitive
Simultaneous Challenges Status Quo Big Picture
Empathizer & Socializer
Strategist & Imaginer
Organizer & Preserver
Realist & Analyst
Clear Realistic Logical
Performance Goals Bottom-line
Concrete Rational Objective
Orderly Reliable Neat
Organized Systematic Methodical
Punctual Detail-Oriented Habitual
Sociable Approachable Perceptive
Expressive Relational Supportive
Harmony Affectionate Loyal
Brain Preferences – Qualities that Define Each Quadrant
Properties of R1
Usually Asks Values Oriented Towards
Decision Preference Known For Communication Preference
Why not?
What if?
Can we try?
Freedom to experiment
Ability to take risks
Challenging the status-quo
Future
Ideas
Big picture
Challenging / Visionary / Imaginative
Filled with metaphors/images
Synthesizing ideas
Being unconventional
Experimenting
Taking risks
Imagination
According to future possibilities
At the conceptual level
Instinctively
Curious Imaginative Visionary
Risk Taker Creative Intuitive
Simultaneous Challenges Status Quo Big Picture
Empathizer & Socializer
Strategist & Imaginer
Organizer & Preserver
Realist & Analyst
Clear Realistic Logical
Performance Goals Bottom-line
Concrete Rational Objective
Orderly Reliable Neat
Organized Systematic Methodical
Punctual Detail-Oriented Habitual
Sociable Approachable Perceptive
Expressive Relational Supportive
Harmony Affectionate Loyal
Brain Preferences – Qualities that Define Each Quadrant
Properties of L2
Usually Asks Values Oriented Towards
Decision Preference Known For Communication Preference
How should we do it?
What is the plan?
What should be done first?
Consistency & Efficiency
Punctuality
Quality & Thoroughness
On time
An excellent implementer
Well organized
Focused on the process
Correct / Prepared
Detailed / Planned / Systematic
Process
Details
Routine
Relevant information and data
Structured process
Thoroughly and when well-informed
Curious Imaginative Visionary
Risk Taker Creative Intuitive
Simultaneous Challenges Status Quo Big Picture
Empathizer & Socializer
Strategist & Imaginer
Organizer & Preserver
Realist & Analyst
Clear Realistic Logical
Performance Goals Bottom-line
Concrete Rational Objective
Orderly Reliable Neat
Organized Systematic Methodical
Punctual Detail-Oriented Habitual
Sociable Approachable Perceptive
Expressive Relational Supportive
Harmony Affectionate Loyal
Brain Preferences – Qualities that Define Each Quadrant
Properties of R2
Usually Asks Values Oriented Towards
Decision Preference Known For Communication Preference
How does everyone feel about that?
Who will be involved?
Who will be effected?
Quality of relationships
Interpersonal connections
Mood and sentiment
Loyalty / Harmony
Relationships
People
Feelings
Encouraging / Understanding
Emotionally Expressive / Meaningful / Frequent
Understanding others’ perspective
Comfortable with multiple realities
Connecting with others
After considering the best interests of those
involved
Based on what feels right
With consensus
Self Assessment Activity
Read the descriptions on ‘Brain Preferences’ in the handout. Which brain preference is most descriptive of you?
You may also rank the others in terms of which are more / less descriptive of you.
Flip Chart Activity
Spend 15 minutes creating a flip chart that includes:
! Some strengths of your preference & a few pitfalls
! Some ways in which you could be misunderstood or stereotyped
! Define how you like and dislike people to communicate with you
The Million Dollar Question
How can you determine which “preferences” someone has when you haven’t had much contact with them?
The Million Dollar Question
What should you do if you haven’t ever communicated with them before?
Reactive Proactive
Who?
Why?
How?
What?
Tips – How to communicate with each style
Communication Style: Short and to the point – what’s the
bottom line?
Logic, facts, figures (but not too much detail)
Communication Style: Just the facts.
Present data in an organized way.
Make sure that you have all of the data and details that they need.
Communication Style: They want to know the “big picture”.
Why?
Like to talk about, and hear, possibilities and long term impact.
Communication Style: Address the relationship before the
task. “Hi Joe”
Like to consider the impact decisions have on people.
Skills Practice
In your preference groups:
! Read the scenarios individually ! In groups of 2 or 3, prepare for the role of
Kelly. Strategize as to how you will approach the conversation with Pat – what you will say and how you will say it – in order to match the Pat’s style.
! Pat’s style will be the opposite of your own. ! Role play instructions…
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Instructions
Form Pairs, stand opposite each other. Pen between
Goal ! Get the other person on your side of the line
Rules ! No body contact ! You will have 60 seconds ! Talking permitted
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Relationship ! Long-term vs. Short-term ! Role of Trust
Mindset and Assumptions ! Collaborative vs. Competitive ! Proactive vs. Reactive ! “Fixed Pie” vs. “Expandable Pie”
Exercise Lessons
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Substance/Relationship Tension
Sub
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Relationship
Strategic Influence
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Dual Concerns Model
Con
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for S
elf
Concern for Others
Avoiding
Compromising
Accommodating
Collaborating Competing
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Review the Kelly/Pat scenario
In groups of 2/3, Prepare for the role of Kelly
Prepare together for the role of Pat
Have the Conversation ! Kelly: do your best
! Pat: be realistically difficult
Deadline Dilemma
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Definition
! What parties really care about (desires, concerns)
! Underlying factors motivating each party
! Positions are the “what” (often demands) Interests are the “why” (reasons for Positions)
Interests and Positions
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Reframe: Positions and Interests
Position A Position B
Reframe: How can we meet your needs
for X while at the same time meet my needs
for Y?
SOLUTIONS
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PUSH: Tell people what we think, and try to persuade them by giving reasons and information which are convincing.
PULL: Seek and emphasize areas of common ground and agreement. This requires first understanding the other’s position/interests and talking to those interests.
Communication Tactics - Push and Pull
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• Talking about facts and targets
• Giving opinions and judgements
• Promoting a point of view • Going against the other’s
perceptions
Push Pull • Asking about priorities and
needs • Sharing a perspective which
links to the other’s interests • Interest in the other’s
perceptions and emotions • Empathy • Transparency • Asking the other to explain
themselves and/or give examples
• Inviting new ideas
Push and Pull – The Skills
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PUSH and PULL - Pitfalls
• Push styles can be effective in achieving compliance but may not achieve commitment.
• Not everyone likes being told what to do.
• People can become dependent and unimaginative or they may fight back (sometimes covertly).
• Requires credibility. Fails if there is a conflict of interest.
Push • Insincere pull styles can be
seen as manipulative and dishonest.
• Must lead to a “reframe” that expresses shared values to be effective.
• Can be more time consuming and uses more emotional and physical energy.
Pull
Push and Pull - Pitfalls
Watch the following video clips.
1. What are the characters’ NBI types?
2. Are they Pushing, Pulling or both?
Discuss in small groups. Explain why you diagnosed them the way you did.
Video Activity Diagnosis
JD Lanigan
More at http://www.performanceconsultinginternational.com
J.D is a global master trainer and senior partner at Performance Consulting International.
He is a motivational speaker who specializes in coaching individuals to communicate clearly and effectively and deliver strong & memorable presentations.
He holds a masters degree in organizational psychology from Columbia University and is certified to administer various coaching assessment instruments, including ECI (emotional intelligence) 360, PDI's Profilor 360, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, and FIRO-B.
Areas of Expertise: Coaching, Communication and Presentation Skills training, Team Development and Group Dynamics
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