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CHRISTMAS QUIZ 2006

Caption Competition Results

WARNING: This slide show contains strong language and captions spawned from Dewi Lewis’s sense of humour.

IMAGE 1

“Smile and pretend you’re having fun. Remember he is the head of department.”

Cupid Stunts

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These students obviously know what it takes to get a degree from UCL.

TBC

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Richard: “If they think they’re getting any of this wine, they’ve got another thing coming.”

Royally Institutionalised

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“Who’s put phenolphthalein in the champagne?”

About As Popular As A Ginger Stepson

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You don’t have to be mad to work here, but it helps. Seriously, we hope Richard’s recovery goes well.

Geof & The 1-Fs

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Catlow leads his army of monkeys to war!

The Astrosurfers

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Survivors of Professor Catlow’s exams are few and far between.

Mmm… π

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Richard’s tutorials follow their usual pattern.

Bipolar Polar Bear

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“We’re all gonna get laid… Ooh yeah!”

The Plagiarisers

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Richard was beginning to worry about the members of his RAE presentation team.

The Heterogeniuses

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Reformed Take That find a replacement for Robbie.

Hot Pies

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Carlsberg don’t do chemistry pub quizzes…

Quiz On My Face And Tell Me You Love Me

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Dave and Nik yawning. Mike: “It’s enthalpy, not energy.”

The Astrosurfers

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Mike: “…and I bought this tie in Bangkok…”

Nik: “It’s rubbish.”The Plagiarisers

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Mike: “If my tie were a thermometer…”

The Heterogeniuses

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“Tonight we’re going to party like it’s 1899.”

Quiz On My Face And Tell Me You Love Me

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“So, anyone for strip poker?”

Royally Institutionalised

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“Alright Mike (yawn). We’re sick and tired of you moaning about your beer-belly.”

TBC

IMAGE 2

“Who’s farted?”

About As Popular As A Ginger Stepson

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(Sequel to last year’s winner.) Nik: “Damn, Catters got the keys.” Dave: “Yes… Bugger!”

Geof & The 1-Fs

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Dave: “When is he going to retire?”

Mmm… π

IMAGE 2

“What will it take to get us in the ‘excited state’?”

Wizards Of Wisdom

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Three wise men were enchanted by the talking bush.

Cupid Stunts

IMAGE 2 – OVERALL WINNER

The audience sits back in trepidation as Prof. Ewing is about todisgorge an enormous furball.

Bipolar Polar Bear

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En route to random behaviour.

Wizards Of Wisdom

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“If we all drink this maybe we can go green as well.”

The Heterogeniuses

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The Vagina Monologues

Quiz On My Face And Tell Me You Love Me

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Peter Barham: “Time to check whether the formula will turn them into superheroes or mild-mannered chemistry lecturers.”

Mmm… π

IMAGE 3

A.A. wasn’t going so well.

The Plagiarisers

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As the men drank, they didn’t realise she’d slipped in some rohypnol…

Cupid Stunts

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Caroline: “Keep up boys!”

The Astrosurfers

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Caroline: “Should I spit or swallow?” (Looks puzzled.)

Royally Institutionalised

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“Fucking hell, Edgar!”

Bipolar Polar Bear

IMAGE 3 – RUNNER UP

Attendance at Wednesday lectures tripled with the introduction of new drinking rules.

Hot Pies

IMAGE 3 – RUNNER UP

When the mass spec fails, there’s always a second option.

Geof & The 1=Fs

IMAGE 4

It’s not rocket science!

Wizards Of Wisdom

IMAGE 4

Little does Paul know that…

Royally Institutionalised

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Paul: “If I can get a grant I can get out of this dump!”

The Plagiarisers

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The dress code was slightly less strict than he expected.

Mmm… π

IMAGE 4

Where did that electrode go?

TBC

IMAGE 4

Oh matron!

Hot Pies

IMAGE 4

Paul: “Turn on the penis pump!”

Hot Pies

IMAGE 4

Electronica never sounded so good.

Quiz On My Face And Tell Me You Love Me

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Rob Newman’s replacement was proving to be a failure.

Geof & The 1-Fs

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They swore that the only way they could discharge him was through his nuts.

Cupid Stunts

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20,000 volts and he’s still not dead.

Bipolar Polar Bear

IMAGE 4

Paul: “I wish I didn’t have that 12th pint last night!”

About As Popular As A Ginger Stepson

IMAGE 4

Paul: “I’m allergic to diamonds, don’t pressurise me!”

The Astrosurfers

IMAGE 4

“Jesus Christ! We’ve managed to project his thoughts onto the screen!”

The Heterogeniuses

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Girl in green top: “I have been looking at your nipples all night.”

Them Two Boys

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It was more fun when we crashed the party later.

Royally Institutionalised

IMAGE 5

Richard: “I’m on all these bloody things.”

Royally Institutionalised

IMAGE 5

And for the booby prize…

The Astrosurfers

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Richard: “Thank you, come again!”

Quiz On My Face And Tell Me You Love Me

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Richard: “Well done, you have won a bag.”

Them Two Boys

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Richard: “Here you go, as promised… Just don’t show your wife.”

TBC

IMAGE 5

Richard: “Here’s your party bag, it’s full of polonium-210.”

The Plagiarisers

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Catters: “Something for the weekend, sir?”

Pearce: “Oh, yes!”Geof & The 1-Fs

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Even though it was embarrassing, the lost handbag was returned to its rightful owner.

Cupid Stunts

IMAGE 5

Richard: “It’s a bit of a surprise – an official Arsenal posing pouch.”

The Heterogeniuses

IMAGE 5

Richard finds a good home for the departmental supply of polonium.

Bipolar Polar Bear

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Richard: “Be careful with the crotchless knickers, I want those back!”

Royally Institutionalised

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Richard: “Here’s to top-up fees.”

Mmm… π

IMAGE 5

Richard: “A position at UCL is a position for life, here are the ashes of your predecessor.”

Hot Pies

IMAGE 6

The KKK (Kemistry Kroquet Klub).

Quiz On My Face And Tell Me You Love Me

IMAGE 6

3-0 to the Aussies.

Quiz On My Face And Tell Me You Love Me

IMAGE 6

The school bullies cleaned up their act.

The Plagiarisers

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The new lab safety was going for the minimalist look.

Mmm... π

IMAGE 6

Mike: “When will they stop putting me with the juniors and treat me like an adult?”

The Astrsurfers

IMAGE 6

“We offer you these grass-cuttings for…”

About As Popular As A Ginger Stepson

IMAGE 6

No matter how young the students were, they simply couldn’t beat the staff.

Cupid Stunts

IMAGE 6

UCL ‘egg and spoon race’ team accused of cheating.

Hot Pies

IMAGE 6

Our young team of chefs can prepare the soup of your dreams…

The Heterogeniuses

UNEXPECTED BONUS CAPTION

This is why you should never fuck around with the human genome.

Dr. Dave Rowley, Amen

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