chapters 5 & 6. strategies for revising sentences: ◦ use parallelism. ◦ use a consistent...

Lecture: The Fourth Step in Essay Writing, the Four Bases of Writing Essays

Chapters 5 & 6

Strategies for revising sentences:◦Use parallelism.◦Use a consistent point of view.◦Use specific words.◦Use active verbs.◦Use concise words.◦Use varied sentences.

Step 4 Revise and Edit Your Work

By balancing the items in a sentence,

you will make the sentence clearer

and easier to read.

Example: My job includes checking inventory,

calling initialing orders, and to call the

suppliers.

Use Parallelism

VerbsDo not shift verb tenses

unnecessarily.

Example:

Jean punched down the risen dough.dumped

Then she dumps it onto the worktable.

Use a Consistent Point of View:

PronounsDo not shift point of view unnecessarily.

Example:

One of the fringe benefits of my job is that you I can use a company credit card for gasoline.

Use a Consistent Point of View:

To be an effective writer, you must use specific words rather than general words.

General: The dog ran down the street.

Specific: The mangy stray loped down Broadway, dodging cars and startled pedestrians.

Use Specific Words

1: Use exact names. (Not “the boy,” but “Vince.”)

2: Use lively verbs. (Not “ate,” but “slurped.”)

3: Use descriptive words. (Not “the car,” but “the rickety old Buick.”)

4: Use sense descriptions. (“Vince slurped his ice-cold chocolate milkshake while sitting on the squeaking front seat of his rickety old Buick.”)

Specific Sentences

Prefer the active voice.

When the subject receives the action, the verb is in the passive voice.The netbook was bought by Hakim.

When the subject of a sentence performs the action of the verb, the verb is in the active voice.

Hakim bought the netbook.

Use Active Verbs

Prefer concision.Wordiness -- using more words than

necessary is often a sign of lazy or careless writing.

Too Wordy: In this paper, I am planning to describe the hobby that I enjoy of collecting old comic books.

Revision: I enjoy collecting old comic books.

Use Concise Words

Effective writing is writing that is varied and

interesting.. Vary your sentences by:1: Adding a second complete thought.2: Adding a dependent thought.3: Beginning with an opening word or phrase.4: Placing adjectives or verbs in a

series.

Vary Your Sentences

Transform simple sentences (which can be monotonous) --Greg worked on the engine. The car

still wouldn’t start.

into compound sentences:Greg worked on the engine, but the car

still wouldn’t start.

Adding a Second Complete Thought

Transform simple sentences (which can be monotonous) –The library was very quiet. I couldn’t

concentrate.

into complex sentences:Although the library was very quiet, I

couldn’t concentrate.

Adding a Dependent Thought

...transforms simple sentences (which can be monotonous) --

Paul was concerned about his daughter’s fever. Paul called a doctor.

into varied sentences:Concerned about his daughter’s fever,

Paul called a doctor.

Beginning with an Opening Word or Phrase

...transforms simple sentences(which can be monotonous) –

The truck bounced off a guardrail. It sideswiped a tree. It plunged into the

ditch.

into varied sentences:The truck bounced off a guardrail,

sideswiped a tree, and plunged into the ditch.

Placing Adjectives or Verbsin a Series

After revising, check for mistakes in grammar,

punctuation, mechanics, usage, and spelling.

Edit according to the conventions of written

English, aka sentence skills.

Editing Sentences

Check the edited draft of your paper for typos and other

careless errors.

Proofreading

1) UNITY

Advance a single point and stick to it.

Use the Four Bases

2) SUPPORT

Support your point with specific evidence.

Use the Four Bases

3) COHERENCE

Organize and connect the specific evidence.

Use the Four Bases

4) SENTENCE SKILLS

Write clear, error-free sentences.

Use the Four Bases