clear scien+fic wri+ng: tools for the wri+ng process part...
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ClearScien+ficWri+ng:ToolsfortheWri+ngProcess
HollyPrevostAssociateDirector,UHWri+ngCenter
April5,2017hbprevost@uh.edu
www.uh.edu/wri+ngcenter
PART2
Wri+ngisaProcess
Edi$ng&Proofreadingareimportantpartsoftheprocess
GamePlan:TwoLectures
LastTime:Higherorderwri+ngconcerns
Today:Lowerorderwri+ngconcerns
• Audience/Purpose• Thesis• Paragraph
Development• Organiza+on
• Transi$ons• Clarity/Conciseness• Punctua+on• Wordchoice• Spelling
Transi+onsSignalConnec+onsbetweenparagraphs,sentences,andwords
• Explicit– Tellyou“gothisway”throughspecificwordsand
phrases
•Implicit– Direc+onisinferredthroughlessdirectwaysof
signalingrela+onships
TOOL#1:Transi+onsExplicit
(modifiedfromDianaHacker,AWriter’sReference)Toshowaddi$on:again,and,also,besides,equallyimportant,first(second,etc.),further,furthermore,inaddi+on,inthefirstplace,moreover,next,tooTogiveexamples:forexample,forinstance,infact,specifically,thatis,toillustrate,even,namely,specifically,Tocompare:also,inthesamemanner,likewise,similarlyTocontrast:although,andyet,atthesame+me,but,despite,eventhough,however,incontrast,inspiteof,nevertheless,onthecontrary,ontheotherhand,s+ll,though,yetToconcede:granted,naturally,ofcourseTogeneralize:asarule,asusual,forthemostpart,generally,generallyspeaking,ordinarily,usuallyToemphasize:certainly,indeed,infact,ofcourseTosummarizeorconclude:allinall,inconclusion,inotherwords,inshort,insummary,onthewhole,thatis,therefore,tosumupToshow$me:a]er,a]erward,as,aslongas,assoonas,atlast,before,during,earlier,finally,formerly,immediately,later,meanwhile,next,since,shortly,subsequently,then,therea]er,un+l,when,while,onceToshowplaceordirec$on:above,below,beyond,close,elsewhere,fartheron,here,nearby,opposite,tothele](north,etc.)Toindicatelogicalrela$onship(causeandeffect,etc.):accordingly,asaresult,because,consequently,forthisreason,hence,if,otherwise,since,so,then,therefore,thus
h^p://www.longleaf.net/ggrow/transi+onchart.html
TOOL#1:Transi+onsImplicit
INFERREDRELATIONSHIPSCREATEDBY:•Usingtopicsentences•Repea+ngkeywordsandphrases•Crea+ngparallelstructure
–Usesamegramma+calstructure–Usesamepartsofspeech(noun,verb,conjunc+on,etc.)
•BeingconsistentinPOV,tense,andnumber•Movingfromoldtonewinforma+on
Exercise1:Iden+fyingTransi+ons• Examinetheparagraphbelow.Iden+fytheoccasionswhenthewriter
uses–Parallelstructure–Repe++onofkeywords/phrases–Transi+onalwordsTheancientEgyp+answeremastersofpreservingdeadpeople'sbodiesbymakingmummiesofthem.Inshort,mummifica+onconsistedofremovingtheinternalorgans,applyingnaturalpreserva+vesinsideandout,andthenwrappingthebodyinlayersofbandages.Andtheprocesswasremarkablyeffec+ve.Indeed,mummiesseveralthousandyearsoldhavebeendiscoverednearlyintact.Theirskin,hair,teeth,fingernailsandtoenails,andfacialfeaturesares+llevident.Theirdiseasesinlife,suchassmallpox,arthri+s,andnutri+onaldeficiencies,ares+lldiagnosable.Eventheirfatalafflic+onsares+llapparent:amiddle-agedkingdiedfromablowonthehead;achildkingdiedfrompolio.
Exercise1:Iden+fyingTransi+ons
TheancientEgyp+answeremastersofpreservingdeadpeople'sbodiesbymakingmummiesofthem.Inshort,mummifica-onconsistedofremovingtheinternalorgans,applyingnaturalpreserva+vesinsideandout,andthenwrappingthebodyinlayersofbandages.Andtheprocesswasremarkablyeffec+ve.Indeed,mummiesseveralthousandyearsoldhavebeendiscoverednearlyintact.Theirskin,hair,teeth,fingernailsandtoenails,andfacialfeaturesares+llevident.Theirdiseasesinlife,suchassmallpox,arthri+s,andnutri+onaldeficiencies,ares$lldiagnosable.Eventheirfatalafflic+onsares$llapparent:amiddle-agedkingdiedfromablowonthehead;achildkingdiedfrompolio.
–Parallelstructure–Repe--onofkeywords/phrases–Transi$onalwords
GamePlan:TwoLectures
Last+me:Higherorderwri+ngconcerns
Today:Lowerorderwri+ngconcerns
• Audience/Purpose• Thesis• Paragraph
Development• Organiza+on
• Transi+ons• Clarity/Conciseness• Punctua+on• Wordchoice• Spelling
ClarityTool#2‘TopLe]’SubjectandVerb
• Loca+on
BeginningofparagraphBeginningofsentence
• Mostimportantinforma+ongoeshereMakethesubjectthesubjectMaketheverbtheverbCorrectExample:MymotherandIdrovethecartoDallas.IncorrectExample:ThecarwasdriventoDallasbymeandmymother.Disclaimer:Theincorrectexampleisnotincorrectifyouwantedtoemphasizethecarasthesubjectofthesentence.
Exercise#2:SubjectsandVerbsMakethesubjectthesubject•Smartphoneprobesareinthespotlightrecently.Comparingwithtradi+onalmethodswhichareusingfixed-loca+onsensinginfrastructures,forinstances,induc+veloopdetectors,radarsorvideocameras,ithaslowercost,higherscalability
Exercise#2:SubjectsandVerbs
• Smartphoneprobesareinthespotlightrecently.
Comparingwithtradi+onalmethodswhichareusingfixed-loca+onsensinginfrastructures,forinstances,induc+veloopdetectors,radarsorvideocameras,ithaslowercost,higherscalability.
Exercise#2:SubjectsandVerbs
Makethesubjectthesubject(Rewrite)•Smartphoneprobeshavebeeninthespotlightrecently.Theycostlessandscalebe^erthantradi+onalmethodsthatusefixedloca+onsensinginfrastructuressuchasinduc+veloopdetectors,radars,orvideocameras.
Tool#3Concision• Eliminatevaguewords,replacewithspecificones
– Wordy:Thepoli+ciantalkedaboutseveralofthemeritsofa]erschoolprogramsinhisspeech(14words)
– Concise:Thepoli+ciantouteda]er-schoolprogramsinhisspeech.(11words)• Changephrasesintosingle-wordsandadjec+ves
– Wordy:Theemployeewithambi+on...(4words)– Concise:Theambi+ousemployee...(3words)
• Changeunnecessarythat,who,andwhichclausesintophrases– Wordy:Thereport,whichwasreleasedrecently...(6words)– Concise:Therecentlyreleasedreport...(4words)
• ChangePassiveVerbsintoAc+veVerbs– Wordy:AnaccountwasopenedbyMrs.Simms.(7words)– Concise:Mrs.Simmsopenedanaccount.(5words)
Takenfromh^ps://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/572/01/Takenfromh^ps://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/572/03/
TOOL#3:CONCISION• Editforefficiency• LearnCPR:
ConcisionPrecisionRevision
Takenfromh^ps://www.e-educa+on.psu.edu/styleforstudents/c1_p2.html
TOOL#3:CONCISIONConcision-beginbycurngtheneedlessandvirtuallymeaninglesswordsExamples:‘inavarietyofways’‘intermsof’Precision-thekeytomakingaparagraph’smeaningmorepreciseistochooseclear,meaningful,representa+venounsplacethemattheheadofeachsentence,andfollowthemwithverbsthatdescribeeachnoun’smeaninginthesentence.Revision-onceyouhavemadethewri+ngmoreconciseandprecise,revisethework
Exercise#3:Concision(CPR)ReadthisparagraphanduseCPRtomakeitmoreconciseIncreasingforeigncompe++onandtechnologicalchange,inavarietyofforms,arenow,astheyalwayshavebeen,disrup+ngvariouswell-establishedpa^ernsintermsofindustrialorganiza+on.Anapparentgrowingqualityintheupwardmovementofeconomicchangeisalsocausinggeographers’interestinregionaladjustmentproblemstogrowaswell:problemsthato]enfocusconcernonregionaleconomicdeclineinacontextoflowratesofna+onalproduc+vityimprovement,onlossofinterna+onalcompe++venessinsectorssuchasautomobilesandprimarymetals.
Exercise#3:Concision(CPR)applied
ParagraphwithCPRappliedRecently,increasingforeigncompe++onandtechnologicalchangehavedisruptedwell-establishedpa^ernsofindustrialorganiza+on.Thisaccelera+onineconomicchangehasheightenedgeographers’interestinregionaladjustmentproblems,drawinga^en+ontoregionaleconomicdeclineinsuchsectorsasautomobilesandprimarymetals.Regionaleconomicdeclineo]enmanifestsitselfthroughlowratesofna+onalproduc+vityimprovementandalossofinterna+onalcompe++veness.
GamePlan:TwoLectures
Last+me:Higherorderwri+ngconcerns
Today:Lowerorderwri+ngconcerns
• Audience/Purpose• Thesis• Paragraph
Development• Organiza+on
• Transi+ons• Clarity/Conciseness• Punctua+on• Wordchoice• Spelling
•Takeabreakbeforereading•Readoutloudslowly•Printitout(orexpandonscreen)•Readitbackwardssentence-by-sentence•Asksomeonetoreadoutloudforyouwhileyoureadsilently•UseGrammarly•Makeawri+ngconsulta+on
TOOL#4:Edi+ng
Tool#5:RecognizePa^ernsofErrors1.AvoidNominalizedVerbs–useofaverb,adjec+ve,oradverbasanounmakesthesentencemorewordyNominalizedsentence:Theexperienceofchildrenwithrespecttobeingatschoolforthefirst-meiscommon.Non-nominalizedsentencewithsubjectandverbatfrontofsentence:Manychildrenexperienceworrieswhentheygotoschoolforthefirst-me.2.Avoidthemisuseofcolons–colonsconnecttwoindependentclauses(whereyoucouldreplacethecolonwiththewordbecause);ortheyconnectanindependentclausewithalistExample:Hegotwhatheworkedfor:hereallyearnedthatpromo-onExample:Youmayberequiredtobringmanythings:sleepingbags,pans,utensils,andwarmclothing.
TOOL#5:UseResourcesThereareseveralgreatgrammarresourcesavailabletostudentswhoarena+veandnon-na+veEnglishspeakers.TheOWLatPurduehaslotsofmini-lessonsandquizzesonceyouhaveiden+fiedyourpa^ernoferror
h^ps://owl.english.purdue.edu/exercises/
Conclusion
• Incorporatethese5toolsintoyourwri+ngprocess
–Transi+ons:explicitandimplicittransi+ons–Clarity:‘top-le]’subjectsandverbs–Concision:LearnCPR–Edi+ng(punctua+on,spelling,grammar) iden+fypa^ernsoferror,prac+cewith resources
•Learnhowtoself-assessapieceofwri+ng•Examineyourwri+ngprocess
TheUniversityofHoustonWri$ngCenter
ClassroomandBusinessBuilding,Room205www.uh.edu/wri+ngcenter
713-743-3047
Monday-Thursday9-7Friday9-4
Saturday10-1
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