compassion, resilience & the persistence of integrity...self-actualization * self-...
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MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
H f N
1. Basic2.Safety
3. Social
4. Esteem
5. Self-Actualization
* Self- Transcendence
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Low Impact Debriefing (LID) Decreasing Stress we Carry
1. Increased Self Awareness ~Limit Shock and Awe ~Omit Gory details
2. Fair warning ~Foreshadow
3. Consent and the debrief ~ “Is this a good time?”
4. Limited Disclosure ~Outer details first, core trauma last
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Compassion Fatigue (CF)
The overwhelming emotional and physical exhaustion, inability to re-energize.
Sufferers start seeing changes in our personal and professional lives; we may
contribute to a toxic environment and become short-tempered with our loved ones.
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Compassion Fatigue (CF)
“Compassion Fatigue is a disorder that
affects those who
do their work well.” Charles Figley
“An occupational hazard”.
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Vicarious Traumatization
The profound shift in worldview due to the repetition of traumatic stories and images.
This cumulative process affects us with the most difficult and horrific stories altering the way we see the world.
Laurie Anne Pearlman and Karen Saakvitne
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Primary Trauma
Direct exposure to
trauma.
Secondary Trauma
Second-handexposure.
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Posttraumatic Embitterment DisorderFollowing a single negative life event that continues to cause prolonged bitterness, anger, feelings of injustice and distrust for extended periods of time.
-Michael Linden
Note the hazard risk for some of us to get locked into a pattern of obsessing about wrongs done to us.
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Perceptions of Stress
Every larger system has an obligation to the people who make it work, as well as to the people it serves.
At the same time, each of us must recognize that we have a role to play in shaping the organizations and social systems we participate in.
-Laura van Dernoot Lipsky
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Letting go of Stress ● Define your pain, understand its source● Express it, slime-free.● Stay in the present, don’t relive the stress● Stop re-telling the story● Forgive yourself● Stop playing the blame/victim game● Don’t let the pain be your identity● Reconnect with who you were before the stress● Focus on things that bring you joy in the moment● Share that joy with other people
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Workplace Obstacles
● Insufficient time to recover
● Frequent trauma exposure
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
How to Make Stress Your Friend
Kelly McGonigal
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Where can you improve to be at the top of your game?
Nature of Helper~Social life fulfilling~Time for self~Healthy coping strategies~Aware of own history
Nature of the Work~Control over sched.~Satisfied with sched.~Healthy workplace~Feel supported~Colleague support~Helpful supervisor
Nature of the Clientele~Work fulfilling~See student progress~Well suited for task~Balance in workday~Students satisfied
Saakvitne, K.W., Pearlman, L.A., & Staff of Traumatic Stress Institute
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Priorities Conceptualized
One study sights many parents spend less than seven minutes daily talking with their children. Others suggest less than one hour...
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
What can you Control?
★ Organize Your Schedule
★ Gain Insight on WHAT is Draining your
Energy
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Be IntentionalCreate time between
events and reactions using breathing or a 90 second moment.
Time creates opportunity for
intentional responses
Free Mindfulness Center for Health Minds, UW-Madison
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Mindfulness... Why?BE in the present…
Decrease the creation of ADHD symptoms.
How Much of your “inner dialogue” is in the past or future?
Ten Ways to Have a Great Conversation
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Self Care??????????
Sleep, rest, proper diet, exercise, vacationsRenewal: Activities that replenish youWorking hoursNourishing activities every dayAccess to a regular debriefing process
Be Intentional
Sleep, Rest, Healthy Diet, Exercise, Vacations,Renew, Replenish & Nourish You
Action Steps
Access to a regular
debriefing process
Slime-FREE Community
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Be Intentional
★ Learn to say no or yes more often
★ Listen to your critical voice
★ Appreciations
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Stay focused
Beware of the “must be nice…”
“Must be nice to have that kind of time.”“Must be nice to have that kind of help.”“Yeah, right. Like that is realistic in my life.”
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Stress Removal Using Conversation TechniquesFind solutions that represents OUR WAY.
Move from the “I wish I would have said…” or “I meant to say…” or “I wish I didn’t get so emotional.”
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Collective Conversation
Mutual Purpose
As people perceive that others don’t respect them, the conversation immediately becomes unsafe and dialogue comes to a screaching halt.
Respect is like air. As long as it is present, nobody thinks about it.
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Conversation Techniques
Addressing Risky Issues
DialogueFree flowing meaning between people
A. Begin with a focused mind
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Conversation Techniques
Addressing Risky Issues
C. Notice when safety is at-risk
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Refrain from…...
Silence ViolenceWithdrawing Aggressive, Attacking WordsMasking LabelingAvoiding Controlling
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Collective Conversation
When conversational mistakes are made….
Apologize when Appropriate
Contrast Technique Critique Colleague Example
The Don’t Want: “The last thing I want to do is to devalue your work….”The Do Want: “I think your work has been great.”
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
ReflectThink of a person who inspired you to take chances, risks and be your best?
You felt seen by them and connected
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Character...
Means putting the greater good of the organization and society ahead of self-interest. It’s about worrying about “what is right” rather than “who is right.”
-Noel Tichy & warren Bennis
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Be Humble Enough to See Beyond Ourselves
See the strength and capacity of others
Envision change in others versus reacting to negative views
Positive Perspectives Do we believe in the growth process for others? Or inwardly focused to self-protect, advance ourself?
Do we set high expecations for our leaders and peers and quickly get disillusioned by their failure but seldom hold the same expectation for our own need for deep change?
Truthful Perspectives Do we think and act in ways that offer persistance for others?
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Exploring the Outward MindsetNo need to blame others.No need to add resentment and pain.
We are extremely convinced that how we think and feel about others is caused by them, by what they have or have not done and how inconsiderate or judgemental they have been.
However, see people the way we see them because of ourselves.
The Outward Mindset
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.
Voltaire
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Outward Mindset
S.A.M
See Others
Adjust Efforts
Measure Impact
Acknowledge failures and be the first to find a new solution.
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
ME
Administration
Guardians
Students
Report Cards
Documentation
Collegues
Needs ObjectivesChallenges
Needs ObjectivesChallenges
Needs ObjectivesChallenges
Needs ObjectivesChallengesOutward Mindset
S.A.M.
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Collective Impact Using Outward Mindset
We need everyone to succeed
Trust your Group and Plan
Actively Build Relationship
Be Humble
Committ to value all players
Empower people with emotional connections
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Expert Irrigation Plan: Where can “I” grow collective integrity.What are first steps?What self-imposed barriers do you need to conquer?
Who can you speak to to support this growth?
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Integrity through Deep Change
Change the world by starting with ME
Change your inner story of who we are in terms of what we can share with others versus what others have done to us.
Look to build energy Trust in your vision and persepectiveSee the potential to grow as a groupListen for ways to continue to dialogue
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
It takes courage and committment to walk the talk
and passion to serve the world around you.
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Persistance
Awareness without committment and practice
Is LEADERSHIP in adolescence.Renee Garpestad
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
There is but one cause for human failure and that is a lack of faith in your true self.
Wiliam James
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
Thank YOU
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
Zig Ziglar
MH Institute 2018 Shelly Dohlby
ResourcesChard, P. Out of My Mind, LLC www.philipchard.com
Headlee, Celeste. March 2016. 10 ways to have a better conversation. Ted Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1vskiVDwl4
Mathieu, F. 2012. The compassion fatigue workbook: creative tools for transforming compassion fatigue and vicarious traumatization. 2012. Routledge. New York.
Mathieu, F. 2013. Low Impact Debriefing: Preventing Retraumatization. Compassion Fatigue Solutions Inc. http://www.tendacademy.ca
McGonagil, K. June, 2013. How to Make Stress Your Friend. Retrieved from: https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend#t-216896
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