gutless, grateful, and finding beauty in the detours (because who … the... · 2017-07-27 ·...

Gutless, Grateful, and Finding Beauty in the Detours(because who hasn’t had a detour in life?)

Amy Oestreicher

www.amyoes.com

PTSD peer-to-peer specialist, artist, author, writer for The Huffington Post, health advocate, Speaker for RAINN and TEDx, actress, playwright.

MENTAL HEALTH AND THE POWER OF SONG

AMY OESTREICHERWWW.AMYOES.COM

My Beautiful Detour (My Story)

WHEN TRAUMA HITS…

Sea Dreams My World Has SplitICU

Four Secrets to Resilience

• Gratitude

• Creativity

• Hope

• Stories

• No quick fixes, but long-term mindsets

Navigating Hospital Detours:

- Denial: Act Normal- Support: Family- Creativity, Resourcefulness- Humor- HOPE

- Stories (Central Park Jogger)

Navigating Home Detours

- HOPE: Fake Countdowns- CREATIVITY: Chocolate Business- Resourcefulness, Humor, Creativity:

Neck Bag

- TWO WORLDS:

- What do you do when you are forbidden to feel?

- How do you get through a detour?- (no timeline, no….nothing!)

- YOU DISCOVER STORIES….

CREATIVITY: A GREAT CONTAINER

• Mental illness may make us feel:

oWe’ve lost our voice

o We don’t trust ourselves

oWe can’t make decisions

SONGWRITING:- Reclaim our voice- Reframe Our Narrative- Express Ourselves- Turn negative energy into create good

- efra

AAAH! I’m anxious!

• i.e. WHAT THE HECK IS THIS ENERGY?

• Why wouldn’t words come?

• ANXIETY – “bad” energy!

• That energy I felt was scary, overwhelming until I figured out how to use it.

• When we figure out how to use that energy, it's the fuel that propels us on a detour

What are felt sensations?

Numbed Out Sensations:WoodenCongestedDullDenseFrozenIcyDisconnectedThickBlockedContracted

Pleasant SensationsCalmEnergizedSmoothStreamingWarmCoolRelaxedOpenLight

Nervous Sensations:PricklyElectricTinglingNervyTwitchyBurningRadiatingReferringBuzzyItchy

Fidgety Sensations:ShakyTremblyThrobbingPoundingFlutteryShiveryQueasyWobblyBubblyDizzySpaceyBreathless

Not very fun sensations:TenseTightConstrictedClenchedKnottedHotFullSweaty

EVERYTHING YOU ARE FEELING IS ENERGY…

REMEMBER THE LAW OF CONSERVATION OF ENERGY???

YOU CAN’T GET RID OF IT!

SO WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT?

How Songwriting Helped Me…

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLqqhtI1i5Qxc6dFFK_AQUyHHuJScExZUA

RUNNING AWAY

• https://youtu.be/5frzWXiVR4Y

I’M GETTING OFF THE TABLEHOLDING OUT HOPE FOR ONE MORE DAYTHEY SAY THEY’RE GONNA FIX ME BUT THEY DON’T KNOW WHENGONNA PULL SOME STRINGSGONNA CHANGE SOME THINGSSO ONE DAY I’LL WAKE UP AND BE MYSELF AGAIN

IT ALL STARTS AT THE TABLEPLANNING A PLAN TO DREAM A DREAMIT’S HOW YOU FACE A MYSTERY WITH TABLES AND CHARTSGONNA TRY AND SLEEPGONNA BREATHE REAL DEEPSO ONE DAY I’LL WAKE UP AND SEE WHERE MY REAL LIFE STARTS

SOMEWHERE ‘ROUND THE TABLE THERE ARE CHAIRS AND FACESSOMEWHERE OFF THE TABLE THERE’S A STURDY FLOORSOMEDAY WHEN I’M ABLE I’LL FIND OTHER PLACESTOP REST MY HEAD LIKE I DID BEFORETO LAY MY TROUBLES DOWN LIKE BEFOREWERE THERE ANY TROUBLES BEFORE?

I’LL HANG ONTO THIS TABLEEYES ON THE CEILING, HEELS GLUED STIFF‘TILL SOMEONE COMES TO FIX MEOR JUST TELLS ME WHENGONNA COUNT THE YEARSAS I BITE DOWN TEARSONE DAY I’LL WKAE UP AND I WILL SEE AND ENDTHEY’RE GONNA FIX ME. YOU’RE GONNA FIX ME?SOMEDAY I’LL WAKE UP, THEN, MY FRIEND.

HOW DARE YOU

How dare you act professional and grown up and impress them with your put together mask and your soul bound up in glassHow dare you now present yourself with pride as I resent myself inside and burn with shame, while I smile and praise your name!You dare with your façade to be this upright noble God when only I can see the shape of a slimy lying snakeYou dare to put me on parade, I’ve whored myself to make you stay, I can’t live with myself –now I have nobody else.

And I’m the only one who knows your dirty little secretsI’m the only one who dries your tears in the darkI’m the only one who holds you burdens deep in my chestI’m the only one who’s lost her heartHow dare you.

A dirty little tag long for you to hold and drag along“Poor girl she’s very weak, she’s quite bright but she can’t speak”they say “poor child what’s wrong with her”“how noble, you teach song to her!”Do they know I’ve no choice?

Check here if:___ I’ve had something unexpected happen in my life ___I’ve had to go a different route because life had other plans for my plans___I’m not sure where my path is going

If life didn’t go as you expected, that’s a detour.

WHAT GOOD STORY DOESN’T HAVE A DETOUR?!

I found stories!

Stories gave me a MAP.A WAY THROUGH…

My Detour is DONE! I CAN EAT!

(RIGHT?)

Symptoms of PTSD

• Intrusive Memories: Flashbacks, nightmares, scary thoughts

• Avoidance: Staying away from certain places or objects, Voluntary or involuntary difficulty remembering the traumatic situation

• Dissociation: Out-of-body experiences, Feeling that the world is "not real" (derealization).

• Hypervigilance: Being startled very easily, feeling tense, trouble sleeping, outbursts of anger

Waking the Tiger: The Freeze Response

• "All mammals automatically regulate survival responses from the primitive, non-verbal brain, mediated by the autonomic nervous system. Under threat, massive amounts of energy are mobilized in readiness for self-defense via the fight, flight, and freeze responses. Once safe, animals spontaneously 'discharge' this excess energy through involuntary movements including shaking, trembling, and deep spontaneous breaths. This discharge process resets the autonomic nervous system, restoring equilibrium."

LIFE HAS DETOURS…

What do you feel at first when life

takes a detour? ENERGY.

Detours are frustrating, scary, and

unexpected.

You SHOULD feel those things!

"Just smile" …BUIT where do those

feelings go?

They have to go somewhere!

HOW DO YOU FEEL THAT ENERGY WITHOUT IT SCARING YOU AND RUNNING YOUR LIFE?

Energy that we can't categorize or contain scares us because it feels larger than us

FIND A CONTAINERCreate a container for that energy so you can transform it!

Humor is Creativity

Creativity is a container!

MY DETOUR WAS OVER

UNTIL….

SINGING TREE

WITH A DETOUR CAME DISCOVERY…

My heART

1. BECOME A BETTER PROBLEM SOLVER

2. CONNECT WITH YOUR COMMUNITY

3.EXPRESS OURSELVES WITHOUT WORDS

4. EXPANDED SENSE OF TIME/flow

5. SELF AWARENESS & EXPRESSION

6. FREEDOM

There is no right or wrong way to be an artist.

7. STRESS RELIEF – TRANSFORMING ENERGY

BENEFITS OF CREATIVITY

THIS WAS MY CONTAINER…

TYPES OF HUMOR…

• FINDING HUMOR AT THE TIME OF IMPACT• FINDING HUMOR IN RETROSPECT• FINDING HUMOR WITH ME!

• DON’T FEEL BAD!• DON’T LAUGH AT ME!• DON’T BE AFRAID TO FEEL!• ASK ME ANYTHING!

• HUMOR ALLOWS US TO TALK ABOUT IT, AND BREATHE THROUGH IT!

TYPES OF HUMOR IN MY SHOW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DztxEDZjNPI&feature=youtu.be

THE PHYSICIAN PERMISSION TO LAUGH

HUMOR IS ABSURDITY (graduation, jail-break)

• Humor gets us thru the anger, sadness - Corner song

Humor empowers us!

If your detours become a story, it's up to you to add the humor!!!

WHAT’S YOUR CONTAINER?

MY 27TH SURGERY…The Power of Gratitude

• Improved physical, emotional, and social well-being

• Greater optimism and happiness,

• Improved feelings of connection in times of loss or crises

• Increased self-esteem

• Heightened energy levels

• Strengthened heart, immune system, and decreased blood pressure

• Improved emotional and academic intelligence

• Expanded capacity for forgiveness

• Decreased stress, anxiety, depression, and headaches

• Improved self-care and greater likelihood to exercise

• Heightened spirituality -- ability to see something bigger than ourselves

The Secret to Finding Your Way on a Detour …

• Sharing your story.

• Are you a Detourist?

The more we share our detours, the more

we realize we’re not alone.

ONCE YOU LEARN YOUR LESSONS FROM TRAUMA…YOU HELP YOURSELF…AND YOU CAN HELP OTHERS!

Starting the Conversation

Gutless & Grateful: Mental Health Advocacy

• Part 1) A 70-minute one-woman autobiographical musical – Gutless & Grateful –a comedic yet poignant story on how I survived 27 stomach surgeries, organ failure and sexual abuse. Through interwoven song and dialogue, I share a primal piece of live-storytelling – a powerful message that it’s possible for students to overcome physical and mental health obstacles.

• Part 2) An educational session/speech where I discuss an empowered approach to mental health, how to develop a resiliency toolbox, how to cultivate hope, and how to thrive in college with a physical or mental health condition.

• Part 3) A Q&A session to introduce students to a panel of counselors/faculty and wellness resources on campus. The program can also be followed by smaller breakout sessions among students to continue building confidence and compassion through creative expression.

TURN YOUR OBSTACLES INTO OPPORTUNITIES.

WHY ME? HOW ‘BOUT WHY NOT?

IF DOCTORS SAY YOU CAN’T…WELL….GET A SECOND OPINION ☺

FIND A WAY TO STAY GROUNDED…EVEN IF IT MEANS TURNING YOUR WORLD “UPSIDE DOWN!”

REMEMBER THE FOUR SKILLS TO RESILIENCE

REMEMBER…THEY’RE IN ALL OF US!

AND LOVE YOUR DETOURS.

OR AT LEAST, TRUST THEM.

PTSD has not broken me.

It’s taken me apart, and I’m reassembling

myself day by day. In the meantime, I’m

learning to love what I can build.

Post Traumatic Resilience

It’s never too late to make a new start.

Just breathe!