how the bough bends: users of donated gametes
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How the Bough How the Bough Bends:Bends:
The Creation of Family, Kinship and The Creation of Family, Kinship and Community by Users of Donated Community by Users of Donated
GametesGametesLeanna Wolfe, Ph.D.Leanna Wolfe, Ph.D.
Presentation to the American Anthropological Presentation to the American Anthropological AssociationAssociation
November 15, 2006November 15, 2006
Who Uses Donated Who Uses Donated Gametes?Gametes?
Single Mothers by Choice (SMCsSingle Mothers by Choice (SMCs 17% rise in babies born to 30-44 17% rise in babies born to 30-44
unmarried women between 1999-2003unmarried women between 1999-2003 Lesbian CouplesLesbian Couples Families with Fertility IssuesFamilies with Fertility Issues
donor spermdonor sperm donor eggsdonor eggs donor embryosdonor embryos
The Gamete Donation The Gamete Donation BusinessBusiness
Sperm BanksSperm Banks California Cryobank shipped 9,600 vials California Cryobank shipped 9,600 vials
of sperm to single women in 2005. of sperm to single women in 2005. Egg Donor AgenciesEgg Donor Agencies
$8,000 fees are typical$8,000 fees are typical Surrogate MothersSurrogate Mothers Gestational SurrogatesGestational Surrogates
Research MethodsResearch Methods Participant ObservationParticipant Observation Online Support GroupsOnline Support Groups Infertility ConferencesInfertility Conferences In-Person Support GroupsIn-Person Support Groups InterviewsInterviews Email SurveysEmail Surveys
What Gamete Recipients What Gamete Recipients SeekSeek
IntelligenceIntelligence PersonalityPersonality
Sperm Donors--sense of humorSperm Donors--sense of humor Egg Donors--goalsEgg Donors--goals
GeneticsGenetics Phenotype MatchesPhenotype Matches Open vs AnonymousOpen vs Anonymous Full Legal RightsFull Legal Rights
Sperm Recipients vs Egg Sperm Recipients vs Egg RecipientsRecipients
Single Mothers by Single Mothers by ChoiceChoice
Body is Normal; Life Body is Normal; Life is Abnormalis Abnormal
If Fertility Challenges; If Fertility Challenges; Life and Body both Life and Body both feel Abnormalfeel Abnormal
Mothers through Mothers through Egg DonationEgg Donation
Life is Normal; Life is Normal; Body is Abnormal Body is Abnormal and for some, and for some, Intensely AbnormalIntensely Abnormal
Single Mother by Choice Single Mother by Choice ProfileProfile
Late 20s through mid 40sLate 20s through mid 40s Highly Educated with Professional CareerHighly Educated with Professional Career
Often Financially SecureOften Financially Secure Fiercely IndependentFiercely Independent Family RevolutionariesFamily Revolutionaries
Clear distinction between themselves and Clear distinction between themselves and women who become single mothers through women who become single mothers through divorce or by accident divorce or by accident
Biotime Clock PressureBiotime Clock Pressure Baby First; Marriage MaybeBaby First; Marriage Maybe
SMC Process (part I)SMC Process (part I)ThinkingThinking
No more time to wait for Mr. RightNo more time to wait for Mr. Right Implications of an SMC IdentityImplications of an SMC Identity Networking/Support GroupsNetworking/Support Groups FinancesFinances Personal Support SystemPersonal Support System Let Go of the Western Cultural Dream Let Go of the Western Cultural Dream
of Parenting with a Beloved Husbandof Parenting with a Beloved Husband
I’ve faced that I’m not going to have this picket-fence-y life…now I have permission to directly pursue what I want. It’s a very curious and ambivalent liberation, because I would rather not be single. It’s not my first choice.
TTC Choice Mother
SMC Process (part II)SMC Process (part II)(Separation)(Separation)
Trying to Conceive (TTC) Trying to Conceive (TTC) Scheduled InseminationsScheduled Inseminations
2 week wait2 week wait Fertility BoostersFertility Boosters
IUI, IVF, hormone regimensIUI, IVF, hormone regimens Many were unaware how fragile female fertility isMany were unaware how fragile female fertility is
Deciding on a DonorDeciding on a Donor Anonymous vs. OpenAnonymous vs. Open Dream Guy vs. Similar Phenotype to HerselfDream Guy vs. Similar Phenotype to Herself Sperm Bank vs. Private ArrangementSperm Bank vs. Private Arrangement
When it came to donor selection, I found it almost as difficult as selectinga husband, but was thankfully moresuccessful at it. It was a fascinating process in that the package of traits I focussed on were different from those Ilooked at on a date or in a relationship.
Choice Mother of a one year old child
My very first consideration for choosing a donor was that he be “open” or willing to meet my child after he or she turns 18…. Intelligence was a huge factor as well. I have a lot of my own identity wrapped up in intelligence and really want the same for my child.
TTC Choice Mother
I weighed phenotype pretty heavily until I realized that there was not an unlimited catalogue of donors from which to choose. Then I went with intelligence and personality.
Choice Mother of two children
SMC Process (part III)SMC Process (part III)(liminal phase)(liminal phase)
PregnancyPregnancy FearFear Begin incorporating New IdentityBegin incorporating New Identity Start Building Support SystemStart Building Support System
Social, Physical, EmotionalSocial, Physical, Emotional May Stop DatingMay Stop Dating
Shift in expectations from relationships with Shift in expectations from relationships with menmen
SMC Process (part IV)SMC Process (part IV)(re-incorporation)(re-incorporation)
BirthBirth ParentingParenting
Allomothers and DaddiesAllomothers and Daddies Support SystemsSupport Systems
Blood FamilyBlood Family Other SMCsOther SMCs Extended Family via Donor Sibling RegistryExtended Family via Donor Sibling Registry
Networks can be akin to a polygynous family Networks can be akin to a polygynous family without the financial support or physical presence without the financial support or physical presence of the progenitor/father.of the progenitor/father.
Its exceptionally important that my son know other children who are “like him” so that he does not feel like an anomaly. I have found that having a child on my own has made him something of a community baby….unlike married couples who want/expect privacy on these issues.
Choice Mother of a one year old child
Egg Recipient ProfileEgg Recipient Profile Married/Nuclear FamilyMarried/Nuclear Family
some SMCssome SMCs 30s-early 50s30s-early 50s Fertility ProblemsFertility Problems
often age-related often age-related unsuccessful with IUI/IVF treatmentsunsuccessful with IUI/IVF treatments
Very much want children OR siblings for Very much want children OR siblings for their birth childrentheir birth children
Egg Recipient Process (part Egg Recipient Process (part I)I) ThinkingThinking
Acceptability of Non-Genetic Connection to Acceptability of Non-Genetic Connection to child?child?
Costs? Very ExpensiveCosts? Very Expensive Donor Fees, Lab Fees, Limited Insurance CoverageDonor Fees, Lab Fees, Limited Insurance Coverage
Tell Others? Keep Secret?Tell Others? Keep Secret? Compare to AdoptionCompare to Adoption
More control over prenatal environmentMore control over prenatal environment Health ConsiderationsHealth Considerations
for both mother and babiesfor both mother and babies
Egg Recipient Process (part Egg Recipient Process (part II)II)
(separation)(separation) Trying to ConceiveTrying to Conceive
Selecting a DonorSelecting a Donor ProtocolsProtocols
Sync up recipient and donors menstrual Sync up recipient and donors menstrual cyclescycles
IVF process for donorIVF process for donor Uterine prep process for recipientUterine prep process for recipient TransferTransfer 2 week wait2 week wait
Most Important Egg Donor Most Important Egg Donor QualitiesQualities
0102030405060708090
Rac
e/Et
hnic
ity
Inte
lligen
ce
Gen
etic
Prof
ile
Pers
onal
ity
Important
Not Important
Desired Egg Donor QualitiesDesired Egg Donor Qualities
0102030405060708090
Hai
r/Eye
Col
or
Hei
ght/B
uild
Alle
rgie
s
Rel
igio
n
Important
Not Important
Regarding Race/Ethnicity, we wanted someone who blended well with us…they didn’t have to match me! I had no interest in telling the general public about our infertility issues… It all worked out in theend, I went with my gut and I wasn’t wrong.
DE Mother
One of the things that “spoke” to me about her was a photo. She had an expression that could have been me in college. She didn’t look like me. She was no clone. But something in that expression spoke to me.
DE Mother of two children
We mainly looked at her smile. That was huge. She seemed to love life
Expectant DE Mother
Egg Recipient Process (part Egg Recipient Process (part III)III)
(liminal phase)(liminal phase) PregnancyPregnancy
Often DifficultOften Difficult MiscarriagesMiscarriages
embryos that might otherwise have never embryos that might otherwise have never implantedimplanted
Premature BirthsPremature Births MultiplesMultiples
anxiety over carrying/raising twins+anxiety over carrying/raising twins+
Egg Recipient Process (part Egg Recipient Process (part IV)IV)
(re-incorporation)(re-incorporation) BirthBirth
C-sections commonC-sections common Immediate Love for the BabyImmediate Love for the Baby
Babies treated w/extreme care & devotionBabies treated w/extreme care & devotion Postpartum Depression RarePostpartum Depression Rare
Very relieved to finally become a MotherVery relieved to finally become a Mother ParentingParenting
Join the world of “normal” parentsJoin the world of “normal” parents
ConclusionsConclusions Gamete seekers focus on intelligence, Gamete seekers focus on intelligence,
personality and phenotypepersonality and phenotype Seek “normal” gametes to create Seek “normal” gametes to create
“normal” families“normal” families Family/Community Revolutionaries?Family/Community Revolutionaries?
Donor Sibling RegistryDonor Sibling Registry DE support through conception process DE support through conception process
but little interest in social networking for but little interest in social networking for parenting.parenting.
New Definitions of Family and CommunityNew Definitions of Family and Community
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