how to turn your impulsive yes’s into confident no’s! by lynn mendelsohn
Post on 14-Dec-2015
217 Views
Preview:
TRANSCRIPT
SIGNS YOU’RE A PEOPLE PLEASER
You avoid conflict or disapproval by acquiescing to the wishes of others.
You frequently say “yes” when you mean “no” and vice versa.
You never want to hurt anyone’s feelings even at your own expense.
You would rather your life appear perfect and nice even if you are unhappy.
You only feel loved and accepted when you are pleasing others.
You feel like a “good” person when you please others and a “bad” person when you
don’t.
You haven’t defined your own goals and dreams.
You don’t have a “personal operating system” of your own beliefs, values, and
integrity.
You have a hard to being authentic or even knowing who the “real” you is.
WHY WE TEND TO SAY YES SO FREQUENTLY
For so many People Pleaser’s YES is a way out of
feeling guilt but it often leads to resentment and
unhappiness because we can’t stop the impulse!
For many of us YES is so wired into our brains
since we want to please everyone, we often forget
about the most important person…US!
PRE-STEPS
The first step is to set up your boundaries and
establish goals that work for YOU. Write them out so
you remember them and try to look at them daily or
at least once a week!
A LOOK INTO WAYS TO STOP THE YES SPIRAL
Next time someone asks you a question you’d
normally say yes to too quickly, try having a list of
your goals in mind and go through if this really helps
you reach them.
Also most people will understand if you say you
have to think about it and sometimes just delaying
yourself from the initial YES will be enough to help
you say a CONFIDENT NO.
BE INTUNE WITH YOU
The first step to really being able to say NO more
confidently is being INTUNE with your EMOTIONS!
Knowing what makes you feel good and what doesn’t
is HUGELY important!
If it doesn’t make you feel good and is going to make
you resent them (because we know this happens when
we say yes so often) then just don’t do it!
WAYS TO CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
Once you become more aware of your worthiness,
your ability to say NO will be a lot EASIER.
Make up a gratitude Journal that you enter 1-2
entries a day will help change your mindset and
make you more aware!
REPEAT REPEAT REPEAT
Repeat after me I am worthy of saying no when I
mean NO, and I am worthy of knowing when it
should be a YES!
When you truly know your worth it will come a lot
easier to say NO when you mean no! <3
HOW WILL THEY REACT?
More often than not, the other person will accept and
respect your request. They won’t be disappointed because
they respect you as a person.
If they get upset let it go because they probably aren’t
getting upset with you, it is with themselves and their
expectations!
Plus sometimes it just takes time for them to learn about
your and your new found CONFIDENCE!
ASSIGNMENT
Take out a piece of paper and write down a time
you said yes but wish you had said no. How did this
make you feel, why did you say YES instead of saying
no? Lets share!!
MY 8 WEEK PROGRAM
If you have found the information we went over tonight to be useful, check out
my 8 week program which will help you truly BREAK those People Pleasing
Habits for GOOD! We will work through a system I have developed to help you
make out a way to be more YOU and really SHINE Full-Circle! We will develop
a blueprint so you aren’t doing it alone! For full details check out: http://
www.lynnmendelsohn.com/shine-full-circle-exclusively-for-people-pleasers.html
Special just for those listening in on this call until Sunday evening 9pm EST!
Just $500 for my 8 week Group Coaching program!
We will have a private Facebook group, weekly challenges, weekly calls, and
so much more!
top related